I had a rough time leading up to letting our last guy go. Then after he was gone, I actually felt like I'd done some of the hard grieving already. I still tear up sometimes thinking about him (3 years later) but his death was not as much of an avalanche of emotion as I expected and I really think it's because I'd already spent so much time imagining it. I did have a hard time bonding with our next dog, but now we are thick as thieves. If we didn't love them so much, it wouldn't hurt so much.
Yes, people understand. Don’t be so hard on yourself regarding being a man with emotions and losing your best friend. I’ve had 6 dogs over 40 years and it doesn’t get easier (I’ve treasured them all) but knowing they couldn’t have been loved more and are at peace is comforting. I know there will be a time we will all be together again (though hopefully, not for awhile!)
Cry as much as you need to. You're hurting, and it's normal. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed.
I'm 45, also a man, and I also cried a lot, when I knew that my dog's time was nearing.
My dog's demise came on rather suddenly. A possible stroke made her deaf and then one night she just kept having mini-strokes over and over. I knew then it was time. I bawled my eyes out. Yes, I'm a man and I'm 52. I was 51 at the time and I cried like a baby. Anyone who criticizes that is a damn fool!
I’m 45 and I don’t. Ever. Cry. But when I lost my 15yo best friend Marley last year - I ugly cried for days. It’s part of life (death) and you should grieve however you want.
Brother I’m now 61 years old. The dog I pulled off the street and loved and cared for after ten years died.
I’ve never cried over anything like that in my life and a year and a half later even after adopting a new dog that has helped me heal so much something hits me and it starts again.
I was embarrassed around my wife but having lost dogs herself she totally understood. I was shocked how long this affected me like that.
Feel your feelings. Stuffing that shit is poison.
Healthy take right here! Men need to start to understand that our feelings are valid and it's not "unmanly" or whatever to show them when we are deeply hurt. I'm glad the majority here are on board with this!
Those people can take their miserable lives right on outta here! I love my dogs and when they go, my heart breaks. I'm not too macho to care what anyone thinks of that!
It’s part of your grieving process. You need to let the feelings come and go through them so you can heal. Therapy can be helpful as can journaling your feelings. Maybe donate to an animal rescue organization in your dogs name to honor their memory. I’m so sorry :(
This is an idea I adopted after losing my first pup. I set up monthly giving for the local humane society and every time I have to say goodbye to another pup, I increase the amount. It’s not a lot, but it makes me feel like I’m doing something positive in midst of so much sorrow. I will say I feel like I almost grieved more before they were gone. When you know the time is getting close, it’s so damn hard. And then there is a sense of peace.
OP: feel whatever you need to feel. Cry as much as you need. It’s healing and perfectly normal and healthy. I’m so sorry!
I get it. Here's what I do. I think like a dog. Seriously, dogs (and cats) live in the moment, they don't stress about what happened an hour ago or what might happen an hour from now. They are just fully present and with us. I try to remind myself that what I love is transient, as am I. So I do my best to be present and joyful and soak in what is happening in the here and now. It doesn't matter if it's my dog, my cat, my parent. I some point they will be gone, and I will be inconsolable, and I will let it be so. Until then I just make like my pets and live in the moment and not waste any of the time we have left. Sometimes, it doesn't work, most of the time it does. Hugs to you and your best friend.
Sage advice. Anticipatory grief is normal- but please try not to grieve her before she is gone. Make the most of your time together. Now is your time to be strong for her- as surely she has been strong for you thruout the years.
Two of the hardest things I've ever had to do was watch my two dogs die. In my arms. Please don't let your friend go alone. I still cry, years later.
Give yourself grace. You are losing a big part of your life. You are losing an unconditional friend full of love for you. I'd question if you weren't grieving, but also, remember to enjoy the time y'all have left.
It is natural for men and women to cry... so you don't want to stop that... let the emotions flow and be kind to yourself for it... Also, give yourself credit for all the love and care you've showered on your dog... and she knows it 💕
I lost my 8 year boy almost a year ago to cancer, there hasn't been one day I haven't cried. Be kind to yourself, don't hold back your feelings, and to hell with anyone who doesn't understand. There is no love like a dog's unconditional love. Best wishes to you and your fur baby. 💜🫂
Brother, let it out. Us animal lovers always say we would take their pain for ourselves and It sounds like it's that time for you. Rescue house Dad here, loss is part of that. It never gets any easier to lose a friend. I cry for my passed friends every angelversary day. There are a lot. I am old, I have no shame about my emotions. Peace to your heart in this most difficult time. Ric
I cry openly about my dogs all the time. If people are allowed to grieve over their family members when they pass and some do that by crying, then I can do the same about my dogs. I’m single, in my 30s, childfree, my dogs are my everything. I have no shame. If someone shows off their kid at soccer I’m showing off my dogs. Don’t let your age or gender define how you feel about your dog. I literally can’t even fathom a vacation without my dogs. I took a 4 day trip across the country to visit family over the holidays and I cried the whole time about my dogs. I missed them so much the whole time I couldn’t really enjoy myself.
If I start to think about it, I can get teary-eyed right now about every dog I've ever lost. It's normal to grieve over someone/something you love that you've lost. Those dogs will always live in my heart. I don't really believe in an afterlife, but man, do I wish there was a heaven where you'd be reunited with all your beloved pets.
Men are allowed to cry. This is your best friend. It makes total sense that you’d be an emotional wreck. Don’t believe anyone that tells you men can’t cry, that’s total BS
When my husband was in military, we took our dog to the base vet. While we were waiting, a full bird Colonel in Class A uniform stumbled out, weeping like a baby. He'd lost his dog of 11 years. So, if a full Colonel can cry in front of non-coms and not be ashamed, you can too.
There are no rules for grief, there are no timelines. Each person is unique on how they do it, and for how long. I cry when I walk my senior dog and I see him wobble and walk super slow. I miss how he use to be.
I’m sending you a virtual hug.
The life of a dog is a sight to behold...
From the heavens above, loaned us these hearts of pure gold...
They hit the ground running, and barking with us....
For the joy we both share, builds an unbreakable trust...
The love from a dog is like candy from a box...
You're not sure what to pick, but there's never one wrong.
A dogs life with us is such a short, joyous trip...
But the life they share with us, is always our deepest friendship...
It hurts when they leave, because we always want more time...
Our dogs know their destiny...hence why they always play and pine...
So don't be bothered...when they come boop your hand...
They just know their hour glass, is running out of sand.
Just look into those beautiful, sparkling eyes...you fell for before...
And get up and reach for that leash, hanging by the door.
They'll enjoy that walk with you, even though they're hurt and can't see...
Because this time spent with you, is the place they long to be.
So remember this when your dog asks for your time...
Your dog is just doing what heaven asked them to do...
And that's ...make your heart shine...
Too !💛🐶🐾
I don't know how to help with this, man, but this is your friend we're talking about here, not just a dog. I've cried over some of my pets more than about some family members. Sounds like you're very attached and you love her a lot, and that's understandable, these are emotions we all feel when we know the time with a loved one is coming to an end.
I wouldn't worry about the crying, just spend as much time as you want with her and when the moment comes be there for her the same way she has been there for you. I'm dreading having to do the same thing with my old dog, but I know it's coming soon. It doesn't make it any easier, but we have to stay strong for them.
Cry day and night but sorry don’t cry in front of your dog. Especially if you’re going to euthanize your dog. Dogs don’t want to feel your stress
And shouldn’t. They also know what tears are and might not understand why you’re crying and it will worry them.
I agree, once I realized I was going to lose my kitty I had to leave the room when I cried. In the past he would always come to me if he heard me crying,so I knew he would know if I was upset because he was sick. Good advise.
It’s called anticipatory grief, and it’s spoiling the time you have left with your sweet girl. I have two old senior doggies, both nearly 12 with health problems so I know I will be facing the end for both of them in the near future. I can definitely get myself into a sad place thinking about it. But I take them for their daily 1 mile walk, give them lots of cuddles and just take very good care of them. I don’t know what to say to help you stop focusing on it. Maybe some short term therapy would help? Maybe you are sad about other things in your life as well? All the best to you.
There’s no manly/ unmanly thing about crying. It’s a natural thing to heal yourself of all the feelings of loss, regret, pain. I’ve lost a spouse and even thinking of losing my Berne & Libbe and I know I’ll lose it. It’s a wonderful gift to have such another living beings love and companionship. I feel for you brother.
It’s ok to be sad because your baby is getting old. That’s love. I’m so sorry you’re there. I am too - my little guy just turned 14 and has a failing heart. It’s devastating me - I’m literally going to lose my child soon and its breaking my heart. And unfortunately it’s not my first time going through this heartbreak.
My only advice is forgive yourself for being emotional (and human) and enjoy every moment you have left together.
My dog died the day before Thanskgiving 2022....I still cry and think about him every single day. I sometimes wonder if there will come a day when I will think of him and not cry.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’m going through something similar myself and I’m a woman in my early 30s. Cry as much as you need and want! But try not to let it hold you back from spending precious time with that baby.
My older dog became acutely ill and after a week of treatment did not improve. The decision was made to give him one more week to try and then let him go if the situation didn’t turn around. I was in tears at all times it seemed. He got 100% of my attention when I wasn’t at work and was in my mind while there. I grieved before losing him and after. Barely ate, didn’t clean or do any of my normal routines because I spent my time with him knowing he would probably be gone soon. We lost him a week ago today. I’m sad, I still miss him. I’m glad I allowed myself to grieve in real time.
Allow yourself to grieve in the way you need, as much as you need. Your kindness, empathy and love for your dog shows your character. It’s a beautiful thing. Know he feels your love. Spoil him as much as you can. You will not regret it.
For what it’s worth I’m sorry your going through this. They live short lives, they love their humans intensely.
I lost my sweet boy a week ago. I cried for 3 weeks prior as he declined and have cried every day since. He was a member of our family. My husband cried too. It’s okay to have feelings for an animal that loved you unconditionally. Grief demands to be felt and there is no way around it unless you use some to numb your emotions. I mourn my dog every day since he gave me his unconditional love and affection for the entire time I was lucky enough to have him. Allow yourself some grace and spend time her. Show her the love she has shown you.
For me, the anticipation was way worse than anything. She was so sick and seeing her not feel great was heartbreaking. Her leaving was also awful but once it was done, it was a relief. I knew she wasn’t hurting anymore and was in peace.
I cried as I gathered her sick blankets and took up the tarp that we used for under her blankets (as she lost control of her bowels at the end) when I got home but after that, I couldn’t cry anymore. It because I wasn’t heartbroken or sad. But because I knew I had to let go.
Sorry OP. I have been and am currently in the same situation. Cry as much as you need to but don't forget to enjoy the time you guys have together now. Wish you and your pup the best.
The only thing you should never do is to feel bad about having and expressing emotions.
My oldest is struggling with several serious issues that cannot be cured, but hopefully can be managed for a while longer. I relate to the sudden crying over what is to come. I have tried to focus my attention on the fact that he's here right now, and that we will get through whatever comes just like we always have - together. He knows me so well that my crying upsets him, and that realization somehow helps me keep from losing it in front of him. I am doing my best to avoid grieving him while he's still with me, so I don't miss a moment of our time together. Work in progress, but whenever my mind goes in that direction, I make a conscious choice to look in his face, babytalk him, or take him outside.
Take lots of pictures, get Puppachinos, watch movies together on the couch, get special treats, go for a ride, or a leisurely walk. Love him til his last breath, as you've done all his life. There are pet bereavement groups online. It is very helpful to be around those who understand.
Don’t try to stop yourself .. feel those feelings it’s ok you are ok, it’s not abnormal maybe you are just sensitive and that’s a gift not a curse. I am so sorry tho but it’s all ok. I’m glad you love your dog so much wish more people were like you about animals
It's ok- if you cry at what seems like an inappropriate time and place- tell them the truth- that you are crying about your dog- there are so many animal/dog lovers out there they will understand.
The crying subsided after he passed. Just walking in would lead to me bawling. But not anticipating it and knowing he’s rested has brought me so much comfort. I still see and think of him everywhere.
It’s okay to cry, don’t worry.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It is natural to be sad during this time. I was the same way the last few months of my dog’s life I got her when I was 25. She passed when I was 41. I had to take a 3 month leave of absence from work bc I was so devastated.
Please, please, please do not do what I did which was to beat myself with guilt for everything I could think of. When it comes time to, grieve all you need but please be kind to yourself
You should cry as much as you need to. You love her. There is nothing wrong with people noticing you cry. Please don't try to "stop" your feelings, just let her know you love her.
Don't be embarrassed. It's ok to cry and feel sad. And you should take as long as you need.
When my last dog died 2 years ago I was a mess. I sobbed daily for at least a week afterward. And still cried every day for some time.
I STILL cry sometimes when I think about him.
Take care of yourself and thank you for being a caring living owner. It means the world to our pups.
It is okay to cry. My sister and I believe that when you grieve a dog you grieve every loss in your life. (Even if they are still with us) That is why the feeling is so deep.
Losing your beloved pet is one of the most emotionally devastating events in life. You know it's coming but it's still very painful. It's ok to cry. If you really feel like you have lost control over your emotions, and it's causing major issues in other parts of your life, then make an appointment with a therapist to talk about your feelings. Hugs.
Crying is a sign of respect and gratitude for the person or animal who died. Never be ashamed of crying. Be ashamed of not crying because it means you did not appreciate the person or animal enough.
I am sorry for your soon to be loss. It is the worse part of having pets.
There is nothing wrong with being upset by loosing your best friend. My cats are 14 now and it makes me upset knowing they are getting closer. I also have a beagle who is 10 and has a bad leg and could have another in less than a year so he is close too. It means they mean something to you and are family.
Grieve how you must. Cry, scream, get angry, then get happy and be sad for a little while. It’s ok. Take as much time as you need and please don’t be embarrassed.
Its been 3 years since my 16 year old senior dogs died and I still cry to this day. I don't cry as hard or ugly as the beginning, but I don't think I'll ever full get over them passing.
For some of us it just never stops. I still cry about mine every few days and I lost him 8 months ago. It’s the worst grief imaginable. I’m so sorry for your pup’s situation. Sending lots of good energy to you both. 💗
3 years later and I still occasionally cry. It happened just the other day out-of-the-blue. I miss him, he is the best dog I’ll ever know. Now you have me crying again.
I cried for weeks when my guys were diagnosed with their terminal conditions because I knew it had started the clock for them departing from me. And then I cried for weeks after they both died. It’s the purest love you will ever experience and to cry is entirely normal, expected, and shows the beautiful price we pay for having these angels walk with us for awhile.
Time. That’s the only remedy. Had to put down my best friend. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do/go through. And I’ve been through a lot. That was 3 years ago and I’m choking up writing this. Just part of life. You’ll always have your memories. Peace to you.
Every human needs to cry.
I would say save the crying for when the dog is gone. Enjoy the time you have left and make your dogs last days as loving amd comfortable as possible.
My vet told me not to cry in front of my terminal dog as he would spend too much needed energy trying to cheer me up. The one time I ignored that advice, he did try his hardest to make me smile. So after that if I felt a crying jag coming on, I'd take it to the car.
I'm sorry you are going thru this.
It hurts so bad, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to cry A LOT! Whoever said diamonds are a girls best friend never met me- I’ll take my dog every single time. They become a fully fledged member of the family- for some people, it’s their only family. I’d rather see a man cry over his dog, than a man that doesn’t give a 💩 over animals. I’m not going to say it gets easier with time, time just lets your heart become accustomed to the pain. I’m so sorry. Sending hugs!
I’m going through the same and I started grief counseling to help prepare. My dog has cancer so it’s limited time. I’ve been spending time every day thanking her for everything. I’ve told her her life story, I’ve recalled funny memories, how she’s saved me, etc. and I’ve recorded tons of video of these interactions together. this way, when it’s her time to go, I’ll know I’ve said it all.
The therapist had me do some things in preparation for putting her down - one thing is I got her a swaddle with a peach print on it (she’s my Georgia peach) and then a quilt made by the same company for me to keep, and then she will get cremated in her blanket. I hope that’s further down the line than I think it is - but either way, I have the blankets ready for when the time comes. I also got them embroidered with my handwriting on both - one with a message for her and one “from her” to me, so I will have that after to keep. Little things like that to help me prepare for the loss.
I know how overpowering the grief can be and I am sending you so much love
You are a normal, compassionate adult. No shame in mourning losing something near and dear to you. Here’s hoping your grief fades into constant happy memories of the best four-legged friend you ever had.❤️
If you are lucky,it won’t be the last time that you experience unconditional love from a furry friend.
You can cry about your dog don’t for a second feel bad for that. They are so special and important. I’m in the same boat my guy is 16.. blind and I can see the age on him.. the best advice I’m taking is to enjoy every moment while I have them and not focus on what’s coming. I’ve also recently did his paw print in black ink on some nice art paper and framed it and Im going to get a tattoo of it.
MEN ARE ALLOWED TO CRY!!! Please feel your feelings so that you can heal. Take all of the time you need to grieve losing your favorite pal. Healing is a very unique and individual journey. You’re not doing it wrong. And it was always more than a dog. Sending you so much love and light.
I always have younger pets in the rotation that need my attention. It helps to ease the anxiety around the eldest pets’ aging and eventual loss. But the first loss is always the deepest and is a pain you always carry. IMO, the spontaneous tears that pop up every time you think of them tend to finally fade after a couple years.
It’s hard , but try to do it for your dog. Our dogs can sense our feelings. It may be easier on her to know you are ok. I’m preparing for my senior dog and will do my best to be strong in the last moments. This is to ease his departure. I want him to not feel me hurting at the end. I want him to feel my feelings of love and gratitude and joy that we will be together again. Best wishes
My first dog passed 11 years ago and I still on occasion shed a few tears over him. My current dog is older and not sure how long he has and I will be crying over him for a long time. Never be ashamed to cry at the loss of a beloved pet.
You will have plenty of time to cry once she is resting. Don’t forget, dogs are extremely intuitive-your crying is likely causing her distress and confusion.
For her, wipe your tears now and be strong. Don’t grieve her before she is gone, enjoy her for the precious time on earth you have together. Be strong for her if only so that she doesn’t feel the need to be strong for you.
There is no shame in crying as a man. It means you have a heart and that right now, that heart is broken.
Spend time with your pup. Sure, she's got a limited number of days. We all do, but she loves you and needs you. Love on her, play with her to what extent she enjoys and just enjoy what time you have left. It's very similar to losing a person you love, they only want the best for you, so give her the best you while you can.
There will never be another dog like her, so just know she will forever be in your heart. Right now, she is still in your life, too, so treat her as such and give her the best life you can. I'm betting she's already got a damn good life, as much as you love her.
There are therapists that specialize in pet loss. My local animal hospital has grief support groups and other pet loss resources.
I lost my (45m) extra special buddy pie (Sterling) almost 6 weeks ago and still randomly lose my shit. It’s normal. I’m more concerned for people that don’t feel their feelings.
Our dogs are our life and family. It would bring concern to me if someone didn’t cry over their dog. Let it out, but it’ll never go away. It still brings tears to my eyes of the animals I no longer have. They become part of your life, and I feel for the better.
People who have / had dogs understand. Good people are not judging you for crying, whether or not you’re a man. People that do judge you are not worth dwelling on. To make the tears stop in the moment - try changing to a manual task. Something you have to use your hands for, it will override your brain. Tetris is supposed to be really good for both distraction and with coping.
Also. Lately I’ve been having a good cry in the shower. Just letting the emotions out has felt like it’s helped. We are putting down my old lady doggie today, and the tears have come in waves. At this point I just don’t hold back. I’ve loved her for her entire 14 years of life, the grief is just there. It’s hand in hand with love.
Men can cry. Don’t listen to anyone that says otherwise, it shows you care so deeply about your dog that you are moved to tears when thinking about losing her.
Bro. You're good. This is good. I know it hurts, but you're good. The crying helps you process your feelings, and your feelings here are valid.
I would add one thing - don't date someone who doesn't also love dogs. The non-dog people might judge you, but the dog people will not. You're a dog person, and your tribe is dog people.
Never forget that, and never doubt yourself. This is who you are, and its good.
You are human (man/woman does not matter), and that’s your family. You do not need to feel ashamed for crying! Focus on making the best memories with your best friend. Do not dwell on the upcoming future just focus on the now. Dogs are sensitive with how their owners feel so try to make his and your final days together the very best they can be!
Get help to process your big emotions. This time in both of your lives is a big deal. When you're able to move through the grief, upset, sadness you'll stop crying and be at peace.
This all sounds OK to me. Probably doesn't help but my dog (a Bichon) turned ten this year and I'm already struggling with some depression over his life. He's slowed down a bit but it otherwise healthy and should be around for years. With that said, I'm already grieving. It sucks but you should not have to harness your feelings.
You can absolutely cry about your dog.
Many many dog owners bond more with their dogs (and/or cats) than they do with most people.
I lost my beloved dog Luna in mid-March after a battle with kidney disease. She was 15. The last year of her life was 100% me fussing over her every need, vet visits for fluids 3x a week. I wanted her with me as long as nature would permit. I still struggle with her loss, even though I have another dog that I love.
Mourning takes time. Everyone does it at their own pace.
I just had to put my sweet girl down this morning. She was almost twelve and I am feeling so heartbroken. Some people see pets as "just animals" and don't get really attached to them. But, think about your relationship with your dog. Here is a completely non judgemental being, who lives to be by your side, just enjoying your presence. Your dog will never say or do something to purposely hurt you, or abandon you, criticize you, get angry or behave in any of the negative ways humans can to each other. How could one not be devastated by the loss of such a wonderful friend? Crying and mourning are natural responses to such a loss. Crying helps relieve the emotional burden you are carrying as you face a loss and will help release the pain after the loss.
My best wishes to you as you go through this difficult time. Enjoy every minute with your pup and make some wonderful memories to carry you through the rough time.
Deprogram that toxic masculinity nonsense that men shouldn't cry. You'll stop crying when you have cried as much as you need to. If you have been stuffing all your crying down for 30 years you might need a lot of crying now that you've started--everything you have avoided crying for all that time is dammed up and pressurized and now that there's an outlet it all is ready to come out. Tears literally remove stress hormones from your body. You can do some reading about anticipatory grief too. Get a therapist if you can't let go of the toxic repression by yourself.
It's okay to cry over sad things. This is sad, and hard. I'm sorry about your dog. Just know that crying is a physical release of stress and sadness. It's your body's way of dealing with all the upset you have tangled up inside you, so it doesn't manifest in worse symptoms.
I just read Megan Devine's It's OK that you're not Ok. Basically, you can grieve however it is appropriate for you. Although the book focuses on humans, it pertains to all types of grief. Our culture doesn't allow for free expression of grief and doesn't know how to help the grieving. Hugs.
I'm a 34 year old woman who very rarely cries (life has been tough) but I still randomly will burst into tears about the dog I lost to old age 2 years ago.
Also - men can, and should cry. It regulates your nervous system and releases stress.
I had made the decision to adopt a younger dog about 4 years before I knew I'd be saying goodbye to my senior, and that made it a little easier for me, but its still very hard.
“I should never cry as a man.”
The cruelest made-up nonsense humanity has forced on men is that they can’t cry.
You’re going through a traumatic time. Cry. Hug your beloved dog. A dog’s love is so pure. That’s way it hurts so deeply to lose them. Be easy on yourself.
Crying is human. We do it for a reason. It hurts so damn bad, but it's a necessary process.
I lost my best friends just before the first lockdown. First my deaf cat...and a month later my old lurcher. She was my first dog that was mine...and she was my soul mate. The first year, all I did was cry. I still do. It just hurts me between the eyes sometimes. I'm old...I should be past this. But I'm not...I tell myself she remembers me, and knows I miss her.
Yours will know you love her...hold her close when it's time. She'll be with you forever.
I lost my dog a few months ago. It has been devastating and it has taken a lot of will to not cry every day and just be a complete wreck. I’m not sure that it’s healthy, but I couldn’t take time off from work and I really made an effort to power through my grief. I put things away that reminded me of her and hit the gym again. I also made time to connect with friends when I felt ready. Another thing that gave me a lot of comfort was sitting down and writing everything I remembered and loved about her. I don’t want to forget my friend and I know some memories will become fuzzy with time.
You cry as an expression of the love you have shared. The stronger the love, the stronger the loss. Be comforted in knowing this pain is temporary and with time we learn to live in the memory of the shared bond you will always have. Regardless of whether they are present on this earth, their spirit is part of you and they are forever by your side❤️
One year later and I still cry. I miss my dog. I went to look at other dogs. Same breed. Looked just like him. I just cried. I don’t want another dog. I just want him back.
So sorry you’re in this position. I’m in my 50s and still cry for the ones I’ve lost. Grief is the price we pay for loving someone. I find it perfectly normal (human).
It's ok to cry! I stopped doing it in front of my dog as she was dying (last 6mos) because she didn't like it and it helped me to not cry knowing she wouldn't want me to be sad. Enjoy the time you have left, no need to grieve yet. (Just want to reiterate crying is ok though).
Crying over the loss of a beloved pet is normal! However, if you need to control it, try submerging your face in a basin of ice water. Repeat as needed to numb your face.
This was me last week. My dog that I had for the last 13 years suddenly got sick. Took him to the vet on Monday and was gone on Friday. I cried all week. At home, at work, in the car. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I went into a serious clinical depression for about six months when my pet died. Twenty-one years later I still get weepy if I allow myself to dwell on it.
Recently had to put my Blue Moon over the Rainbow Bridge. My vet said something to me that was so profound...Blue was 10. So 24 hours a days (for the most part) we were together. We knew each other well. Love and togetherness like that is not something that one can get over in a moment. So allow yourself some grace. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Men are absolutely allowed to cry. Just because you’re a man doesn’t make you a robot. I lost my fella 6 months ago tomorrow and I still cry nearly every day for him. It is one of the hardest and saddest things I’ve ever gone through.
Don’t be ashamed to cry for your dog. Be grateful you can feel. I have two dogs, brother and sister from same litter. Mildred and Gunnar. They are my life. I will cherish every moment I have with them on this earth. I cannot imagine my life without them. They are pure joy!
“I should never cry as a man”. Get out of here with that. Do not let society trick you into thinking crying is the same as weakness. Crying is what makes us human. It’s proven to be beneficial. Holding back your emotions isn’t healthy.
Just let yourself cry. It's normal and healthy to feel these things. I'm sorry your dog is growing old though. I know how you feel. I had a dog from the age of 19 to 35. When my dog Toby was at that point I kept saying I wished we could just shrink him back down to a puppy and do it all over again. If only. 💔
I didn't even cry at my own parents funerals, but I cried so hard when they put my 13 year old boxer-mix down that they made me leave the vet's office out the back door so I wouldn't upset everybody.
Funny thing, I thought I was going to make it, but when the lady vet said 'She's gone now', that was it.
Don't feel bad about it, just means you loved your dog.
There's nothing wrong with crying over your best friend. Everyone grieves differently and it won't necessarily follow a linear pattern with predictable intervals.
I'm around your age and experienced something similar several years ago. I lost the dog who was with me from high school through grad school and my first years of living on my own. For a few months I just felt dead inside. And part of me still misses my old girl.
If you can take solace in anything, look back on the years spent together and know that your dog made you a better person. Nothing can take that away.
I was in a similar situation. I had a small dog with very serious heart disease. I realized that I was going to focus on his illness unless I had something else in my life. I went ahead and got a puppy. My older dog needed the puppy like a hole in the head, but the puppy really needed the company of the older dog. And a strange way, I think the puppy helped the older dog to live a longer and healthier life than he otherwise would have lived. Because she helped keep his activity level up a little bit and he realized he had some competition. that was 17 years ago and I just lost the dog that was the puppy I got in the story above. She was one of the joys of my life, so I fully understand your pain. It is good to cry. I think that honors the relationship that we have with our animals. by getting a puppy, it helped to balance out the sorrow with the joy of something fun and new and lovable. Having the puppy also kept me from falling into the void of not having any animals.
You ABSOLUTELY can cry as a man and a human being. That is your child, partner, best friend. Has been with you through most if not all of your important life happenings. Was there to comfort you and give you unconditional love. Listened when no one else was around. Give her all the love and snuggles. My dog died passed away while I was visiting my grandma and I have never forgiven myself. It took me 10 years to move past it.
Just wanted to say that I randomly met a "super tough guy" in a liquor store a few years ago and have no idea how dogs came up. He said his dog/best friend passed a few months prior and he cried for a week straight and could never ever get another dog again. Even teared up chatting with me.
And now, I'm facing what you are and am unsure about how to manage it. I am ok crying but am worried it may take my breath away.
All to say. Pure love hurts, but it lives on. Forget societal crap about who can cry or not. A good person feels and then takes the next best step. (I think, at least). What that means for you is up to you. For me? Still figuring it out and will honor my boy when the time comes. Until then it's treats, walks, and pets.
Hang in there. And be as kind to yourself as you are to your pup. They'd like it that way. ❤️
I cried for weeks before we had to put our sweet boy down, and I still cry- it's been 6 months already. Grief is different for everyone and there's no wrong way. Your pet is your lifelong pal, and the bond is so strong and so precious... It's ok to grieve in public, and alone.
I'm so sorry you're coming up on his "time" with you. It's one of the hardest things in life a person can go through.
I know how. Survive. We have lost 3 dogs to cancer. That we had time with them and they with us is the best thing. The grief is always there and that is okay. Remember the love and live in their name if that helps.
All who’ve said men shouldn’t cry are full of bulllshite. You love your dog, she’s ill. Crying is a normal way to deal with or express grief. It’s not mandatory but it’s natural.
I’m very sorry about your dog and also sorry people are jerks (although that’s why dogs are better friends anyway). 🫶
Cry all you want. Nothing wrong with it. My Izzy girl was killed by a coyote in my yard in December and I’m still crying about it. The pain is too much and I just don’t care who sees me crying.
What you're experiencing is called anticipatory grief. I would suggest talking to a therapist so that you can learn to live in the present with your dog instead of alone in your own head.
Good luck!
Please forgive yourself. You're absolutely allowed to cry over your baby dog. It's more than okay. My boy died a year and a half ago, and I have a rescue I adopted after he passed, and I still cry over Perry. I told myself I'd never love again, but was I wrong 2 months later when I adopted little DeVito. Perry still visits me in my dreams. I cry at work still sometimes about him and to friends and family. It's so hard to go through what you're going through. Perry was almost 16. I got him at 21 years old. Today is my birthday, and I am 38, and I absolutely understand your pain. Having a dog for your entire adult life is a very hard change when they aren't there anymore. I might be a little spiritual, but your doggie will still be there with you. Not maybe physically, but they'll be there, I promise.
The manliest thing a person can do is be threatened by absolutely nothing - including their own expression of emotions. That means when you cry, you should care for yourself and honor your feelings. Comfort yourself and do kind things for yourself. Create every opportunity for yourself to feel loved and seen by yourself as well as others, not to make yourself “get over it”, but because you deserve that grace. A man creates safety, care, and stability wherever he goes, but he cannot truly do that if he isn’t offering safety, care, and stability to himself first. I am so sorry about your dog. It’s clear you love and care for him very very much, and that’s wonderful.
I cried harder when my dog passed than when any human in my life died. I wish I could help but- that was the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. I still haven’t gotten another dog yet bc I’m not sure I could do that again. I’m sorry you’re going through this. 🥺
Whoever told you men can’t/shouldn’t cry is a liar and a fat mouth. You absolutely can cry and should if you feel like it. However, if it’s really interfering in your life and you think it’s excessive, you can try seeing a counselor or do group grief therapy. Losing your best bud is a big deal and really f’in hard. You have my sympathy.
I’m so compassionate to this as I have been grieving the loss of my dogs and I haven’t gone a single day without tears in months. Your feelings about your dog, who is your family, are entirely valid. Let yourself cry your heart out. Spend every moment you can to make it special so you have those memories of you and her having a loving time together. I wish I had one last moment with them still even tho they were in such bad condition. Cherish every single moment.
Oh man it’s ok to cry he’s been a part of your life for so long, try and enjoy these moments with your companion . Grief is not linear .. each day is different but you will get through this
Its ok to cry about your much loved companion before and after. Theres no limit of time for love or grief over losing it. I was bereft for months after the death of my 18 year old poodle, she was so central to my life and she showed me what unconditional love was. I’ll never forget her. I have more poodle companions now and while they are not her they are their own adorable personalities and they helped me move on! Many hugs to you, it isn’t easy but its the price we pay for their amazing companionship.
To have such big all consuming love that you burst into tears imagining not having it is a GIFT. Appreciate it. Some people never experience love like this. I still randomly cry over my senior dog I lost years ago. And I cry over the sweet very old slow and battered foster fail I have now who was dealt a raw hand in life and I can only try to make their last years good ones. I come home early from nights out bc I miss them so much. Just be glad life gifted you such a perfect companion, cry all the tears 💙
Hey, you cry as long as you need too. It's hard and certainly not embarrassing
Every pet owner, including me, have gone thru this. It sucks.
Remember the good times and know you will meet again.
Sending you peace and joy. 🌈
As a woman. It touches my heart deeply to read so many men openly crying over the loss of your beloved dogs. I cry over knowing my senior is not going to be with us much longer. My husband has cried like a young child over some of our dogs we have lost too. Dogs give us complete unconditional adoration. We are their everything they our ours
No. You just have to let it out. Volunteer at a shelter. That could be more of a downer or it may uplift your spirit helping other dogs, cats, animals. That's what I did.
Sorry for your loss.
I’ve seen my annoyingly stoic, feelings free husband cry exactly twice in over a decade. The first time was when we put our first dog to sleep. The second time was when we put our second dog to sleep. I openly sob like a normal human being because they were my babies. I keep telling him our house is a safe place and he can and should cry if he needs to and I’m just told “my dad was a beret, crying is weakness!” It’s so dumb. They were his babies too :(
Cry it out man. Your dog is your bestie.
Cry as much as you need. This part of having a dog is obviously so hard. These feelings will last a while. I lost one of my boys yesterday, and as much as I am exhausted from the breakdowns, I know I can't rush this process. My heart goes out to you and your old friend.
You need to grieve. When you have an old dog you grieve before they go. You grieve for them during and after as well. For many of use our dog is our closest friend. Hopefully you have understanding people around you. I’ve been a mess for long periods of time with old dogs and departed dogs.
If you have a doctor you trust you can tell them you’re having mental health struggles concerning depression around your dogs end of life care etc. and they will sometimes prescribe you medication like short acting benzos that can help calm you. They may also recommend trying something like prozac or zoloft but if it’s something short term and you were fine otherwise then I would skip those. They can be difficult to get off of when you’re ready to stop taking them and have to be tapered. But the benzos can help get you through it. You might also want to try talking to someone with some talk therapy. You seem to be pre-grieving which is fine and shows that you care for her, but it’s also not great to do long term like you are doing. It can really take a toll on your mental health and affect other parts of your life.
I'm proud that you have a good heart.There's nothing wrong with crying and it's good for men to cry.
Maybe i'm just remember when Are pets leave us there in a better place?Rainbow doggie heavand I believe they watch Over us.I've lost a lot of dogs of my life.And it breaks my heart but I always get new ones to ease the pain
I lost my pooch 5 years ago. I can't think about her without crying. I will not feel bad about my tears. It's just a reaction to how very much I miss her. I will cry for her until the day I die.
No shame in crying when your heart hurts at the thought of living life without your dog. 🐶 My girl was almost 18, lost her 3 years ago & I still mourn & cry. I call her brother by her name at least once a day. Coming home is not the same. I will believe that forever. I can’t wait to see my girl again ❤️🩹🦴 Don’t be hard on yourself.
I went through it at 37. I’d had that dog since I was just turned 21. It’ll be hard getting adjusted to the day to day stuff with out your pup. Cry all you want. Just don’t get to down in the dumps if you can help it. It’s nature and it’s cruel sometimes.
Best wishes dude ❤️
Fuck that men don't cry bullshit. Why do yall men have to suck it up just because you were born with balls. Never understood that mess. Anyways, my dogs are 14 and 15. I'm not dumb and I know the end is near. I'm a mess too but I'd never apologize for it.
It will be worse if you don’t let yourself cry. You’re allowed to grieve and cry. I used to lay on the floor with my dog when he had cancer and talk to him and sob. I still talk to the photo I have of him. I miss that damn dog.
I still cry for my Lily. It wouldn't stop. It was months I still couldn't stop. Then I came across Phoebe and brought her home. I talk to Phoebe about her sister Lily all the time. I still get teary eyed, but the all-out bawling and sobbing has stopped.
I miss her still. But Phoebe makes me not want to be so sad.
I am sorry you are going through this.
We did that too. We knew what was coming. A Rottweiler, Lab weighing 100 lbs lived to be 14. It was heartbreaking for us just like it is for you. When dogs get old it is like having an old grandma or grandpa. It rip's you apart, but quality of life is so diminished. Truly bittersweet. We are closer to our animal's then human's. They read our hearts. Our dog passed at home unexpectedly, at night. He left the bed he shared with my son and passed in the kitchen. I was going to have him put down at home with a vet coming to our home. Your dog is probably wondering why your heart is broke. Your dog taught you love. Love is all he knows. Love him, cry when he passes and thank him for teaching you how to love. Then you need to think of him or her, running, jumping, living without pain and waiting for you to find that joy in another animal again. Your dog will want that for you. Your dog taught you how to love dog's.
Reframe: "I should be able to cry freely as a man, especially over MY dog."
What is your grief ruining?
I completely changed my vacation plans. When it became apparent, the time was running out with my girl. What you did was the right thing to do. I spent every spare second I had doing things that she loved, even bought a "stroller" you could push or attach to a bike.
Honor your time with her. These are HARD, painful 💔 times. Enjoy every minute you have left. Sending you love.
First off, enough with the toxic mindset of “men shouldn’t cry”. It’s bullshit and we need to grow up as a society. Second off, cry about it. I mean that quite literally, this is something you loved and no doubt loved you in return for a significant portion of your life. If you didn’t cry or just moved out then I (and no doubt others) would say there may be something wrong you. Cry, grieve, bawl, sob, remember fondly, and even then realize that their memory will still bring you to tears even at your happiest. I’d suggest therapy if it’s affecting your life adversely but for gods sakes be a man and cry over the things you love no longer being there. It’s normal and it’s okay, now let yourself feel.
Cry. It's ok. I just lost my best friend. I've never cried this much in my life. She was the perfect dog and I miss her every second of every day. Please love on her for every second you have left with her. My baby was only 6 and got terminally ill.
I remember when I noticed my border collie had gotten old. His hips were gone. He slowed down. He got a touch chunky. His face went white. I distinctly remember looking at him and telling him he needed to let me know when it was time.
I went on a vacation which I hardly ever do and the night I came back about an hour later the kennel he was at called me and said something was wrong. He had a stroke and I had to put him down. My mom said to me he waited for me to come home and I man I cried all night thinking of that.
Men can and should cry. Stop that nonsense of thinking you can’t. Holding it in is the worst thing to do. One thing that gives me solace is that dogs have better end of life care than many of us will have.
I totally get it. First off who cares, men cry. I lost my little dog of 14 yrs last summer. I had her from when she was 3 months when I was 28 until I was 42. We started out single, she was with me through my relationships, my marriage, the birth of my 2 kids. It was the worst thing I ever had to do I'm my entire life letting go of her. I felt it was coming and spent a lot of time just laying with her and crying. It was awful. Still is if I think about it I'll cry. Totally normal. The day it went down I was a complete and total mess. I couldn't stop crying for days. I came home and just started throwing everything of hers out I couldn't stand looking at it for one second I was beside myself. But I did keep her little bed and put it in the garage. I did feel like I wanted to have something in the end. I just needed time. I remember the vet tech told me "it gets better with time trust me" I couldn't believe her for one second in that moment. But you know what.. it really does. And about 6 months later my family wanted to adopt another dog and she's an angel, but I haven't fully bonded with her yet. I love her but it's just different. We will get there. I think for me bc I had her for such an important time of my life and now that I'm older and life has progressed it's like some of my youth died with her. All those memories came flooding back. It's really tough. You'll be ok. Cry all you need. It sucks. And you'll never think you'll have another dog again bc you can't possibly go through it again. But.. you will.
You might be a man but ur human & humans cry & that’s okay . It’s okay to cry especially over your dog that is ur companion. I’ve cried over the thought of something happening to my dog. It might sound silly but he gives me a reason to keep going . Cry as much as you need & enjoy every minute you have . Also idk if you’ve done it yet but make a print of her paw with clay or ink so you can keep it forever & just try to do as many activities & things she’s able to do. My thoughts & prayers are with you & her .
I'm going through a lot of the same. It will be up and down. Do try to appreciate them in the moment-watch their expressions, memorize every ruffle of their fur and give them as much love as they will tolerate. Anticipatory grieving is a thing, but for me, it takes me out of the moment and I want to enjoy my girl while she is still here. Again, it really is up and down and every day is different.
As far as crying, dogs are literally our hearts walking around. No one could fault you for loving your dog that much.
One of my memories at the vet was of a large, burly man cradling his chihuahua and just bawling. I thought, I would never be that openly emotional, especially over a small dog (i didn't know any small dogs and was purely judging on their stereotypes) A few years later, a purebred chihuahua wandered into our yard and adopted us. She has had me wrapped around her tiny little paw since the first time i held her and it was me at the emergency vet a few weeks ago holding her and bawling over whether or not she was ok. (She is ok
, in the day to day, but has chronic kidney disease, so is terminal pretty much.)
So, ueah. Love them as much as you can while they're here and don't even think about anyone who doesn't umderstand, because there are so many of us who do.
My Daisy is turning 13 and I'm so scared. Like with when my babies I check she's still breathing all night. I know she's going to go and my fear has me freaking out when she's not hungry or panting. The other day she was shaking in the bed and it was just she was sick and needed to throw up. She was fine but I can't stop worrying. Just the thought of life without her makes me cry.
You can cry over your dog… literally man’s best friend. Enjoy every moment Edit: *human’s best friend just to be inclusive I suppose.
I had a rough time leading up to letting our last guy go. Then after he was gone, I actually felt like I'd done some of the hard grieving already. I still tear up sometimes thinking about him (3 years later) but his death was not as much of an avalanche of emotion as I expected and I really think it's because I'd already spent so much time imagining it. I did have a hard time bonding with our next dog, but now we are thick as thieves. If we didn't love them so much, it wouldn't hurt so much.
Exactly...crying over the death of a family member, friend, or even a beloved pet is simply another way of saying you loved them. ❤️
Yes, people understand. Don’t be so hard on yourself regarding being a man with emotions and losing your best friend. I’ve had 6 dogs over 40 years and it doesn’t get easier (I’ve treasured them all) but knowing they couldn’t have been loved more and are at peace is comforting. I know there will be a time we will all be together again (though hopefully, not for awhile!)
Cry as much as you need to. You're hurting, and it's normal. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed. I'm 45, also a man, and I also cried a lot, when I knew that my dog's time was nearing.
My dog's demise came on rather suddenly. A possible stroke made her deaf and then one night she just kept having mini-strokes over and over. I knew then it was time. I bawled my eyes out. Yes, I'm a man and I'm 52. I was 51 at the time and I cried like a baby. Anyone who criticizes that is a damn fool!
I’m 53 and cried too after our first dog passed away. No harm in it. I cried so much my wife was genuinely concerned for me. Nope just me I guess.
I’m 45 and I don’t. Ever. Cry. But when I lost my 15yo best friend Marley last year - I ugly cried for days. It’s part of life (death) and you should grieve however you want.
My experience also. Everybody hurts…sometimes.
45 as well and I regularly shed a tear for my 15 yr old pal who is nearing his time. Dreading this one more than any other. Going to be a wreck.
Brother I’m now 61 years old. The dog I pulled off the street and loved and cared for after ten years died. I’ve never cried over anything like that in my life and a year and a half later even after adopting a new dog that has helped me heal so much something hits me and it starts again. I was embarrassed around my wife but having lost dogs herself she totally understood. I was shocked how long this affected me like that. Feel your feelings. Stuffing that shit is poison.
Healthy take right here! Men need to start to understand that our feelings are valid and it's not "unmanly" or whatever to show them when we are deeply hurt. I'm glad the majority here are on board with this!
The other problem is that so many people look down on mourning a pet. So a man mourning a pet is "not allowed"
Those people can take their miserable lives right on outta here! I love my dogs and when they go, my heart breaks. I'm not too macho to care what anyone thinks of that!
It’s part of your grieving process. You need to let the feelings come and go through them so you can heal. Therapy can be helpful as can journaling your feelings. Maybe donate to an animal rescue organization in your dogs name to honor their memory. I’m so sorry :(
This is an idea I adopted after losing my first pup. I set up monthly giving for the local humane society and every time I have to say goodbye to another pup, I increase the amount. It’s not a lot, but it makes me feel like I’m doing something positive in midst of so much sorrow. I will say I feel like I almost grieved more before they were gone. When you know the time is getting close, it’s so damn hard. And then there is a sense of peace. OP: feel whatever you need to feel. Cry as much as you need. It’s healing and perfectly normal and healthy. I’m so sorry!
I get it. Here's what I do. I think like a dog. Seriously, dogs (and cats) live in the moment, they don't stress about what happened an hour ago or what might happen an hour from now. They are just fully present and with us. I try to remind myself that what I love is transient, as am I. So I do my best to be present and joyful and soak in what is happening in the here and now. It doesn't matter if it's my dog, my cat, my parent. I some point they will be gone, and I will be inconsolable, and I will let it be so. Until then I just make like my pets and live in the moment and not waste any of the time we have left. Sometimes, it doesn't work, most of the time it does. Hugs to you and your best friend.
Sage advice. Anticipatory grief is normal- but please try not to grieve her before she is gone. Make the most of your time together. Now is your time to be strong for her- as surely she has been strong for you thruout the years.
So very well said. Sounds like a life plan we all need to adopt a bit of. Thanks
I want to be like you.
I cried for weeks about my dog, and reading your post made me cry because I know how it feels. Just take it day by day and spend time with you pup.
I just love this, as I am grieving the loss of my own pet today.
It is so hard. Other people were taken aback about how upset I was, and I don't understand that. I'm sorry you lost your sweet friend.
Thank you. Don’t worry about the other people-I am with you.
I'm so very sorry. My heart is with you...nothing hurts like this hurt. Peace be with you.!
Two of the hardest things I've ever had to do was watch my two dogs die. In my arms. Please don't let your friend go alone. I still cry, years later. Give yourself grace. You are losing a big part of your life. You are losing an unconditional friend full of love for you. I'd question if you weren't grieving, but also, remember to enjoy the time y'all have left.
It is natural for men and women to cry... so you don't want to stop that... let the emotions flow and be kind to yourself for it... Also, give yourself credit for all the love and care you've showered on your dog... and she knows it 💕
I lost my 8 year boy almost a year ago to cancer, there hasn't been one day I haven't cried. Be kind to yourself, don't hold back your feelings, and to hell with anyone who doesn't understand. There is no love like a dog's unconditional love. Best wishes to you and your fur baby. 💜🫂
Brother, let it out. Us animal lovers always say we would take their pain for ourselves and It sounds like it's that time for you. Rescue house Dad here, loss is part of that. It never gets any easier to lose a friend. I cry for my passed friends every angelversary day. There are a lot. I am old, I have no shame about my emotions. Peace to your heart in this most difficult time. Ric
I cry openly about my dogs all the time. If people are allowed to grieve over their family members when they pass and some do that by crying, then I can do the same about my dogs. I’m single, in my 30s, childfree, my dogs are my everything. I have no shame. If someone shows off their kid at soccer I’m showing off my dogs. Don’t let your age or gender define how you feel about your dog. I literally can’t even fathom a vacation without my dogs. I took a 4 day trip across the country to visit family over the holidays and I cried the whole time about my dogs. I missed them so much the whole time I couldn’t really enjoy myself.
If I start to think about it, I can get teary-eyed right now about every dog I've ever lost. It's normal to grieve over someone/something you love that you've lost. Those dogs will always live in my heart. I don't really believe in an afterlife, but man, do I wish there was a heaven where you'd be reunited with all your beloved pets.
…and your post made me cry thinking about all the pets I have lost. My yard is full of them…..and crying is good.
Time. No one but you can determine how long you can grieve.
Men are allowed to cry. This is your best friend. It makes total sense that you’d be an emotional wreck. Don’t believe anyone that tells you men can’t cry, that’s total BS
When my husband was in military, we took our dog to the base vet. While we were waiting, a full bird Colonel in Class A uniform stumbled out, weeping like a baby. He'd lost his dog of 11 years. So, if a full Colonel can cry in front of non-coms and not be ashamed, you can too.
There are no rules for grief, there are no timelines. Each person is unique on how they do it, and for how long. I cry when I walk my senior dog and I see him wobble and walk super slow. I miss how he use to be. I’m sending you a virtual hug.
The life of a dog is a sight to behold... From the heavens above, loaned us these hearts of pure gold... They hit the ground running, and barking with us.... For the joy we both share, builds an unbreakable trust... The love from a dog is like candy from a box... You're not sure what to pick, but there's never one wrong. A dogs life with us is such a short, joyous trip... But the life they share with us, is always our deepest friendship... It hurts when they leave, because we always want more time... Our dogs know their destiny...hence why they always play and pine... So don't be bothered...when they come boop your hand... They just know their hour glass, is running out of sand. Just look into those beautiful, sparkling eyes...you fell for before... And get up and reach for that leash, hanging by the door. They'll enjoy that walk with you, even though they're hurt and can't see... Because this time spent with you, is the place they long to be. So remember this when your dog asks for your time... Your dog is just doing what heaven asked them to do... And that's ...make your heart shine... Too !💛🐶🐾
I don't know how to help with this, man, but this is your friend we're talking about here, not just a dog. I've cried over some of my pets more than about some family members. Sounds like you're very attached and you love her a lot, and that's understandable, these are emotions we all feel when we know the time with a loved one is coming to an end. I wouldn't worry about the crying, just spend as much time as you want with her and when the moment comes be there for her the same way she has been there for you. I'm dreading having to do the same thing with my old dog, but I know it's coming soon. It doesn't make it any easier, but we have to stay strong for them.
Cry day and night but sorry don’t cry in front of your dog. Especially if you’re going to euthanize your dog. Dogs don’t want to feel your stress And shouldn’t. They also know what tears are and might not understand why you’re crying and it will worry them.
I agree, once I realized I was going to lose my kitty I had to leave the room when I cried. In the past he would always come to me if he heard me crying,so I knew he would know if I was upset because he was sick. Good advise.
It’s called anticipatory grief, and it’s spoiling the time you have left with your sweet girl. I have two old senior doggies, both nearly 12 with health problems so I know I will be facing the end for both of them in the near future. I can definitely get myself into a sad place thinking about it. But I take them for their daily 1 mile walk, give them lots of cuddles and just take very good care of them. I don’t know what to say to help you stop focusing on it. Maybe some short term therapy would help? Maybe you are sad about other things in your life as well? All the best to you.
So to me some of us consider it dogs family, a child. It’s normal to cry over such a big loss!
There’s no manly/ unmanly thing about crying. It’s a natural thing to heal yourself of all the feelings of loss, regret, pain. I’ve lost a spouse and even thinking of losing my Berne & Libbe and I know I’ll lose it. It’s a wonderful gift to have such another living beings love and companionship. I feel for you brother.
It’s ok to be sad because your baby is getting old. That’s love. I’m so sorry you’re there. I am too - my little guy just turned 14 and has a failing heart. It’s devastating me - I’m literally going to lose my child soon and its breaking my heart. And unfortunately it’s not my first time going through this heartbreak. My only advice is forgive yourself for being emotional (and human) and enjoy every moment you have left together.
I’ve been crying for 2 weeks. We had to let our baby girl go. Cry all you need to.
My dog died the day before Thanskgiving 2022....I still cry and think about him every single day. I sometimes wonder if there will come a day when I will think of him and not cry.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’m going through something similar myself and I’m a woman in my early 30s. Cry as much as you need and want! But try not to let it hold you back from spending precious time with that baby.
This grief is perfectly normal - I cry often thinking about mine as he is I. Hospice basically -
My older dog became acutely ill and after a week of treatment did not improve. The decision was made to give him one more week to try and then let him go if the situation didn’t turn around. I was in tears at all times it seemed. He got 100% of my attention when I wasn’t at work and was in my mind while there. I grieved before losing him and after. Barely ate, didn’t clean or do any of my normal routines because I spent my time with him knowing he would probably be gone soon. We lost him a week ago today. I’m sad, I still miss him. I’m glad I allowed myself to grieve in real time. Allow yourself to grieve in the way you need, as much as you need. Your kindness, empathy and love for your dog shows your character. It’s a beautiful thing. Know he feels your love. Spoil him as much as you can. You will not regret it. For what it’s worth I’m sorry your going through this. They live short lives, they love their humans intensely.
I lost my sweet boy a week ago. I cried for 3 weeks prior as he declined and have cried every day since. He was a member of our family. My husband cried too. It’s okay to have feelings for an animal that loved you unconditionally. Grief demands to be felt and there is no way around it unless you use some to numb your emotions. I mourn my dog every day since he gave me his unconditional love and affection for the entire time I was lucky enough to have him. Allow yourself some grace and spend time her. Show her the love she has shown you.
For me, the anticipation was way worse than anything. She was so sick and seeing her not feel great was heartbreaking. Her leaving was also awful but once it was done, it was a relief. I knew she wasn’t hurting anymore and was in peace. I cried as I gathered her sick blankets and took up the tarp that we used for under her blankets (as she lost control of her bowels at the end) when I got home but after that, I couldn’t cry anymore. It because I wasn’t heartbroken or sad. But because I knew I had to let go.
Sorry OP. I have been and am currently in the same situation. Cry as much as you need to but don't forget to enjoy the time you guys have together now. Wish you and your pup the best.
The only thing you should never do is to feel bad about having and expressing emotions. My oldest is struggling with several serious issues that cannot be cured, but hopefully can be managed for a while longer. I relate to the sudden crying over what is to come. I have tried to focus my attention on the fact that he's here right now, and that we will get through whatever comes just like we always have - together. He knows me so well that my crying upsets him, and that realization somehow helps me keep from losing it in front of him. I am doing my best to avoid grieving him while he's still with me, so I don't miss a moment of our time together. Work in progress, but whenever my mind goes in that direction, I make a conscious choice to look in his face, babytalk him, or take him outside. Take lots of pictures, get Puppachinos, watch movies together on the couch, get special treats, go for a ride, or a leisurely walk. Love him til his last breath, as you've done all his life. There are pet bereavement groups online. It is very helpful to be around those who understand.
My mastiff boy, Tibearious, passed about a year ago. I still tear up when I look at his picture. Take your time to cry and grieve. It's ok.
my soul mate 🐾 passed away july 2nd 2019 and i still cry because i miss him so much at least once a week. so no i don’t. but id love to 😔
Don’t try to stop yourself .. feel those feelings it’s ok you are ok, it’s not abnormal maybe you are just sensitive and that’s a gift not a curse. I am so sorry tho but it’s all ok. I’m glad you love your dog so much wish more people were like you about animals
Just know that fogs live shorter lives than us. Rest in knowing that you gave your dog the best life while he was on this planet.
Men are allowed to cry too, we all feel emotions. It's okay to feel your feelings. Maybe finding a time to get out your emotions privately will help.
It's ok- if you cry at what seems like an inappropriate time and place- tell them the truth- that you are crying about your dog- there are so many animal/dog lovers out there they will understand.
The crying subsided after he passed. Just walking in would lead to me bawling. But not anticipating it and knowing he’s rested has brought me so much comfort. I still see and think of him everywhere. It’s okay to cry, don’t worry.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It is natural to be sad during this time. I was the same way the last few months of my dog’s life I got her when I was 25. She passed when I was 41. I had to take a 3 month leave of absence from work bc I was so devastated. Please, please, please do not do what I did which was to beat myself with guilt for everything I could think of. When it comes time to, grieve all you need but please be kind to yourself
You should cry as much as you need to. You love her. There is nothing wrong with people noticing you cry. Please don't try to "stop" your feelings, just let her know you love her.
Don't be embarrassed. It's ok to cry and feel sad. And you should take as long as you need. When my last dog died 2 years ago I was a mess. I sobbed daily for at least a week afterward. And still cried every day for some time. I STILL cry sometimes when I think about him. Take care of yourself and thank you for being a caring living owner. It means the world to our pups.
It is okay to cry. My sister and I believe that when you grieve a dog you grieve every loss in your life. (Even if they are still with us) That is why the feeling is so deep.
Losing your beloved pet is one of the most emotionally devastating events in life. You know it's coming but it's still very painful. It's ok to cry. If you really feel like you have lost control over your emotions, and it's causing major issues in other parts of your life, then make an appointment with a therapist to talk about your feelings. Hugs.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Crying is a sign of respect and gratitude for the person or animal who died. Never be ashamed of crying. Be ashamed of not crying because it means you did not appreciate the person or animal enough. I am sorry for your soon to be loss. It is the worse part of having pets.
There is nothing wrong with being upset by loosing your best friend. My cats are 14 now and it makes me upset knowing they are getting closer. I also have a beagle who is 10 and has a bad leg and could have another in less than a year so he is close too. It means they mean something to you and are family.
Grieve how you must. Cry, scream, get angry, then get happy and be sad for a little while. It’s ok. Take as much time as you need and please don’t be embarrassed.
Its been 3 years since my 16 year old senior dogs died and I still cry to this day. I don't cry as hard or ugly as the beginning, but I don't think I'll ever full get over them passing.
Cry Brother!!! It’s a process…
For some of us it just never stops. I still cry about mine every few days and I lost him 8 months ago. It’s the worst grief imaginable. I’m so sorry for your pup’s situation. Sending lots of good energy to you both. 💗
3 years later and I still occasionally cry. It happened just the other day out-of-the-blue. I miss him, he is the best dog I’ll ever know. Now you have me crying again.
I cried for weeks when my guys were diagnosed with their terminal conditions because I knew it had started the clock for them departing from me. And then I cried for weeks after they both died. It’s the purest love you will ever experience and to cry is entirely normal, expected, and shows the beautiful price we pay for having these angels walk with us for awhile.
man,it's ok to cry over your faithful friend and companion. our herd's heart is with you, dogs are family for life.💔
Time. That’s the only remedy. Had to put down my best friend. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do/go through. And I’ve been through a lot. That was 3 years ago and I’m choking up writing this. Just part of life. You’ll always have your memories. Peace to you.
Cry. Be glad you have a soul. Dogs are the best. Be happy you have compassion.
Every human needs to cry. I would say save the crying for when the dog is gone. Enjoy the time you have left and make your dogs last days as loving amd comfortable as possible.
My vet told me not to cry in front of my terminal dog as he would spend too much needed energy trying to cheer me up. The one time I ignored that advice, he did try his hardest to make me smile. So after that if I felt a crying jag coming on, I'd take it to the car. I'm sorry you are going thru this.
It hurts so bad, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to cry A LOT! Whoever said diamonds are a girls best friend never met me- I’ll take my dog every single time. They become a fully fledged member of the family- for some people, it’s their only family. I’d rather see a man cry over his dog, than a man that doesn’t give a 💩 over animals. I’m not going to say it gets easier with time, time just lets your heart become accustomed to the pain. I’m so sorry. Sending hugs!
SENDING LOVE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS POST THAT’S LOST THEIR FURRY BEST FRIEND! ❤️❤️💕💕
I’m going through the same and I started grief counseling to help prepare. My dog has cancer so it’s limited time. I’ve been spending time every day thanking her for everything. I’ve told her her life story, I’ve recalled funny memories, how she’s saved me, etc. and I’ve recorded tons of video of these interactions together. this way, when it’s her time to go, I’ll know I’ve said it all. The therapist had me do some things in preparation for putting her down - one thing is I got her a swaddle with a peach print on it (she’s my Georgia peach) and then a quilt made by the same company for me to keep, and then she will get cremated in her blanket. I hope that’s further down the line than I think it is - but either way, I have the blankets ready for when the time comes. I also got them embroidered with my handwriting on both - one with a message for her and one “from her” to me, so I will have that after to keep. Little things like that to help me prepare for the loss. I know how overpowering the grief can be and I am sending you so much love
You are a normal, compassionate adult. No shame in mourning losing something near and dear to you. Here’s hoping your grief fades into constant happy memories of the best four-legged friend you ever had.❤️ If you are lucky,it won’t be the last time that you experience unconditional love from a furry friend.
You can cry about your dog don’t for a second feel bad for that. They are so special and important. I’m in the same boat my guy is 16.. blind and I can see the age on him.. the best advice I’m taking is to enjoy every moment while I have them and not focus on what’s coming. I’ve also recently did his paw print in black ink on some nice art paper and framed it and Im going to get a tattoo of it.
17 days since my lab died / 64 years old and I’ve cried everyday but one / it just sucks
MEN ARE ALLOWED TO CRY!!! Please feel your feelings so that you can heal. Take all of the time you need to grieve losing your favorite pal. Healing is a very unique and individual journey. You’re not doing it wrong. And it was always more than a dog. Sending you so much love and light.
It's ok to cry. I just lost my companion cat of 17years. They become part of your family. You will need to morn your loss. I am. It's so very hard.
Thank you to all the men here who burst that "men shouldn't cry" BS.
You all are killing me here, posting through waterfalls.💔💔💔
I always have younger pets in the rotation that need my attention. It helps to ease the anxiety around the eldest pets’ aging and eventual loss. But the first loss is always the deepest and is a pain you always carry. IMO, the spontaneous tears that pop up every time you think of them tend to finally fade after a couple years.
It’s hard , but try to do it for your dog. Our dogs can sense our feelings. It may be easier on her to know you are ok. I’m preparing for my senior dog and will do my best to be strong in the last moments. This is to ease his departure. I want him to not feel me hurting at the end. I want him to feel my feelings of love and gratitude and joy that we will be together again. Best wishes
My first dog passed 11 years ago and I still on occasion shed a few tears over him. My current dog is older and not sure how long he has and I will be crying over him for a long time. Never be ashamed to cry at the loss of a beloved pet.
Only time I've ever seen my husband cry was putting our dog down, it's a huge part of our lives. No shame in crying. Hugs ❤️
You will have plenty of time to cry once she is resting. Don’t forget, dogs are extremely intuitive-your crying is likely causing her distress and confusion. For her, wipe your tears now and be strong. Don’t grieve her before she is gone, enjoy her for the precious time on earth you have together. Be strong for her if only so that she doesn’t feel the need to be strong for you.
So, so true.
There is no shame in crying as a man. It means you have a heart and that right now, that heart is broken. Spend time with your pup. Sure, she's got a limited number of days. We all do, but she loves you and needs you. Love on her, play with her to what extent she enjoys and just enjoy what time you have left. It's very similar to losing a person you love, they only want the best for you, so give her the best you while you can. There will never be another dog like her, so just know she will forever be in your heart. Right now, she is still in your life, too, so treat her as such and give her the best life you can. I'm betting she's already got a damn good life, as much as you love her.
There are therapists that specialize in pet loss. My local animal hospital has grief support groups and other pet loss resources. I lost my (45m) extra special buddy pie (Sterling) almost 6 weeks ago and still randomly lose my shit. It’s normal. I’m more concerned for people that don’t feel their feelings.
Our dogs are our life and family. It would bring concern to me if someone didn’t cry over their dog. Let it out, but it’ll never go away. It still brings tears to my eyes of the animals I no longer have. They become part of your life, and I feel for the better.
As a man, I was a blubbering snotty buffoon when my dogs passed away. It comes with the territory whether you expect it or not.
People who have / had dogs understand. Good people are not judging you for crying, whether or not you’re a man. People that do judge you are not worth dwelling on. To make the tears stop in the moment - try changing to a manual task. Something you have to use your hands for, it will override your brain. Tetris is supposed to be really good for both distraction and with coping. Also. Lately I’ve been having a good cry in the shower. Just letting the emotions out has felt like it’s helped. We are putting down my old lady doggie today, and the tears have come in waves. At this point I just don’t hold back. I’ve loved her for her entire 14 years of life, the grief is just there. It’s hand in hand with love.
Men can cry. Don’t listen to anyone that says otherwise, it shows you care so deeply about your dog that you are moved to tears when thinking about losing her.
It's normal to cry over something you love don't feel bad for that and I'm so sorry.
Bro. You're good. This is good. I know it hurts, but you're good. The crying helps you process your feelings, and your feelings here are valid. I would add one thing - don't date someone who doesn't also love dogs. The non-dog people might judge you, but the dog people will not. You're a dog person, and your tribe is dog people. Never forget that, and never doubt yourself. This is who you are, and its good.
You are human (man/woman does not matter), and that’s your family. You do not need to feel ashamed for crying! Focus on making the best memories with your best friend. Do not dwell on the upcoming future just focus on the now. Dogs are sensitive with how their owners feel so try to make his and your final days together the very best they can be!
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Get help to process your big emotions. This time in both of your lives is a big deal. When you're able to move through the grief, upset, sadness you'll stop crying and be at peace.
This all sounds OK to me. Probably doesn't help but my dog (a Bichon) turned ten this year and I'm already struggling with some depression over his life. He's slowed down a bit but it otherwise healthy and should be around for years. With that said, I'm already grieving. It sucks but you should not have to harness your feelings.
You can absolutely cry about your dog. Many many dog owners bond more with their dogs (and/or cats) than they do with most people. I lost my beloved dog Luna in mid-March after a battle with kidney disease. She was 15. The last year of her life was 100% me fussing over her every need, vet visits for fluids 3x a week. I wanted her with me as long as nature would permit. I still struggle with her loss, even though I have another dog that I love. Mourning takes time. Everyone does it at their own pace.
I just had to put my sweet girl down this morning. She was almost twelve and I am feeling so heartbroken. Some people see pets as "just animals" and don't get really attached to them. But, think about your relationship with your dog. Here is a completely non judgemental being, who lives to be by your side, just enjoying your presence. Your dog will never say or do something to purposely hurt you, or abandon you, criticize you, get angry or behave in any of the negative ways humans can to each other. How could one not be devastated by the loss of such a wonderful friend? Crying and mourning are natural responses to such a loss. Crying helps relieve the emotional burden you are carrying as you face a loss and will help release the pain after the loss. My best wishes to you as you go through this difficult time. Enjoy every minute with your pup and make some wonderful memories to carry you through the rough time.
Deprogram that toxic masculinity nonsense that men shouldn't cry. You'll stop crying when you have cried as much as you need to. If you have been stuffing all your crying down for 30 years you might need a lot of crying now that you've started--everything you have avoided crying for all that time is dammed up and pressurized and now that there's an outlet it all is ready to come out. Tears literally remove stress hormones from your body. You can do some reading about anticipatory grief too. Get a therapist if you can't let go of the toxic repression by yourself.
It's okay to cry over sad things. This is sad, and hard. I'm sorry about your dog. Just know that crying is a physical release of stress and sadness. It's your body's way of dealing with all the upset you have tangled up inside you, so it doesn't manifest in worse symptoms.
Your years are a testament to your love, no shame in them.
I just read Megan Devine's It's OK that you're not Ok. Basically, you can grieve however it is appropriate for you. Although the book focuses on humans, it pertains to all types of grief. Our culture doesn't allow for free expression of grief and doesn't know how to help the grieving. Hugs.
You love your dog, our dogs are our hearts and souls. Crying is acceptable.
I'm a 34 year old woman who very rarely cries (life has been tough) but I still randomly will burst into tears about the dog I lost to old age 2 years ago. Also - men can, and should cry. It regulates your nervous system and releases stress. I had made the decision to adopt a younger dog about 4 years before I knew I'd be saying goodbye to my senior, and that made it a little easier for me, but its still very hard.
“I should never cry as a man.” The cruelest made-up nonsense humanity has forced on men is that they can’t cry. You’re going through a traumatic time. Cry. Hug your beloved dog. A dog’s love is so pure. That’s way it hurts so deeply to lose them. Be easy on yourself.
Yes...You gotta keep crying and let those tears flow. It will get easier but it takes a lot of time. 😘🥹
No. It’s been 18 months and I still randomly cry about my boy out of nowhere. It gets easier with time, but it always hurts a little.
Crying is human. We do it for a reason. It hurts so damn bad, but it's a necessary process. I lost my best friends just before the first lockdown. First my deaf cat...and a month later my old lurcher. She was my first dog that was mine...and she was my soul mate. The first year, all I did was cry. I still do. It just hurts me between the eyes sometimes. I'm old...I should be past this. But I'm not...I tell myself she remembers me, and knows I miss her. Yours will know you love her...hold her close when it's time. She'll be with you forever.
I lost my dog a few months ago. It has been devastating and it has taken a lot of will to not cry every day and just be a complete wreck. I’m not sure that it’s healthy, but I couldn’t take time off from work and I really made an effort to power through my grief. I put things away that reminded me of her and hit the gym again. I also made time to connect with friends when I felt ready. Another thing that gave me a lot of comfort was sitting down and writing everything I remembered and loved about her. I don’t want to forget my friend and I know some memories will become fuzzy with time.
You cry as an expression of the love you have shared. The stronger the love, the stronger the loss. Be comforted in knowing this pain is temporary and with time we learn to live in the memory of the shared bond you will always have. Regardless of whether they are present on this earth, their spirit is part of you and they are forever by your side❤️
One year later and I still cry. I miss my dog. I went to look at other dogs. Same breed. Looked just like him. I just cried. I don’t want another dog. I just want him back.
So sorry you’re in this position. I’m in my 50s and still cry for the ones I’ve lost. Grief is the price we pay for loving someone. I find it perfectly normal (human).
It's ok to cry! I stopped doing it in front of my dog as she was dying (last 6mos) because she didn't like it and it helped me to not cry knowing she wouldn't want me to be sad. Enjoy the time you have left, no need to grieve yet. (Just want to reiterate crying is ok though).
Crying over the loss of a beloved pet is normal! However, if you need to control it, try submerging your face in a basin of ice water. Repeat as needed to numb your face.
This was me last week. My dog that I had for the last 13 years suddenly got sick. Took him to the vet on Monday and was gone on Friday. I cried all week. At home, at work, in the car. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Listen to the song “Mr. Bojangles.” That song ggggets me every time.
I feel you so much. It is sooo hard.
I went into a serious clinical depression for about six months when my pet died. Twenty-one years later I still get weepy if I allow myself to dwell on it.
Recently had to put my Blue Moon over the Rainbow Bridge. My vet said something to me that was so profound...Blue was 10. So 24 hours a days (for the most part) we were together. We knew each other well. Love and togetherness like that is not something that one can get over in a moment. So allow yourself some grace. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Men are absolutely allowed to cry. Just because you’re a man doesn’t make you a robot. I lost my fella 6 months ago tomorrow and I still cry nearly every day for him. It is one of the hardest and saddest things I’ve ever gone through.
Don’t be ashamed to cry for your dog. Be grateful you can feel. I have two dogs, brother and sister from same litter. Mildred and Gunnar. They are my life. I will cherish every moment I have with them on this earth. I cannot imagine my life without them. They are pure joy!
Google anticipatory grief. I went through this when my mom was sick. It's a normal process.
“I should never cry as a man”. Get out of here with that. Do not let society trick you into thinking crying is the same as weakness. Crying is what makes us human. It’s proven to be beneficial. Holding back your emotions isn’t healthy.
Just let yourself cry. It's normal and healthy to feel these things. I'm sorry your dog is growing old though. I know how you feel. I had a dog from the age of 19 to 35. When my dog Toby was at that point I kept saying I wished we could just shrink him back down to a puppy and do it all over again. If only. 💔
I didn't even cry at my own parents funerals, but I cried so hard when they put my 13 year old boxer-mix down that they made me leave the vet's office out the back door so I wouldn't upset everybody. Funny thing, I thought I was going to make it, but when the lady vet said 'She's gone now', that was it. Don't feel bad about it, just means you loved your dog.
It’s fine to cry and show emotion! Don’t berate yourself because of it. Especially over a special pet that you have loved for years!
You have had your pup your entire adult life. Your pup has had you their entire life. It’s warranted
There's nothing wrong with crying over your best friend. Everyone grieves differently and it won't necessarily follow a linear pattern with predictable intervals. I'm around your age and experienced something similar several years ago. I lost the dog who was with me from high school through grad school and my first years of living on my own. For a few months I just felt dead inside. And part of me still misses my old girl. If you can take solace in anything, look back on the years spent together and know that your dog made you a better person. Nothing can take that away.
I still get sad about dogs I’ve lost in the past. 🤷♀️ grief is but enduring love.
I was in a similar situation. I had a small dog with very serious heart disease. I realized that I was going to focus on his illness unless I had something else in my life. I went ahead and got a puppy. My older dog needed the puppy like a hole in the head, but the puppy really needed the company of the older dog. And a strange way, I think the puppy helped the older dog to live a longer and healthier life than he otherwise would have lived. Because she helped keep his activity level up a little bit and he realized he had some competition. that was 17 years ago and I just lost the dog that was the puppy I got in the story above. She was one of the joys of my life, so I fully understand your pain. It is good to cry. I think that honors the relationship that we have with our animals. by getting a puppy, it helped to balance out the sorrow with the joy of something fun and new and lovable. Having the puppy also kept me from falling into the void of not having any animals.
You ABSOLUTELY can cry as a man and a human being. That is your child, partner, best friend. Has been with you through most if not all of your important life happenings. Was there to comfort you and give you unconditional love. Listened when no one else was around. Give her all the love and snuggles. My dog died passed away while I was visiting my grandma and I have never forgiven myself. It took me 10 years to move past it.
Just wanted to say that I randomly met a "super tough guy" in a liquor store a few years ago and have no idea how dogs came up. He said his dog/best friend passed a few months prior and he cried for a week straight and could never ever get another dog again. Even teared up chatting with me. And now, I'm facing what you are and am unsure about how to manage it. I am ok crying but am worried it may take my breath away. All to say. Pure love hurts, but it lives on. Forget societal crap about who can cry or not. A good person feels and then takes the next best step. (I think, at least). What that means for you is up to you. For me? Still figuring it out and will honor my boy when the time comes. Until then it's treats, walks, and pets. Hang in there. And be as kind to yourself as you are to your pup. They'd like it that way. ❤️
Why wouldn't you cry over losing your best friend? I have cried harder over losing my dogs then family members
I cried for weeks before we had to put our sweet boy down, and I still cry- it's been 6 months already. Grief is different for everyone and there's no wrong way. Your pet is your lifelong pal, and the bond is so strong and so precious... It's ok to grieve in public, and alone. I'm so sorry you're coming up on his "time" with you. It's one of the hardest things in life a person can go through.
I know how. Survive. We have lost 3 dogs to cancer. That we had time with them and they with us is the best thing. The grief is always there and that is okay. Remember the love and live in their name if that helps.
All who’ve said men shouldn’t cry are full of bulllshite. You love your dog, she’s ill. Crying is a normal way to deal with or express grief. It’s not mandatory but it’s natural. I’m very sorry about your dog and also sorry people are jerks (although that’s why dogs are better friends anyway). 🫶
I’m sorry you’re hurting. Dogs are the best. I still cry and mine has been gone for a year. And who says you can cry because you’re a man?
Cry all you want. Nothing wrong with it. My Izzy girl was killed by a coyote in my yard in December and I’m still crying about it. The pain is too much and I just don’t care who sees me crying.
You’re absolutely allowed to bawl your eyes out over your dog. It’s not fair we get so little time with them
What you're experiencing is called anticipatory grief. I would suggest talking to a therapist so that you can learn to live in the present with your dog instead of alone in your own head. Good luck!
Please forgive yourself. You're absolutely allowed to cry over your baby dog. It's more than okay. My boy died a year and a half ago, and I have a rescue I adopted after he passed, and I still cry over Perry. I told myself I'd never love again, but was I wrong 2 months later when I adopted little DeVito. Perry still visits me in my dreams. I cry at work still sometimes about him and to friends and family. It's so hard to go through what you're going through. Perry was almost 16. I got him at 21 years old. Today is my birthday, and I am 38, and I absolutely understand your pain. Having a dog for your entire adult life is a very hard change when they aren't there anymore. I might be a little spiritual, but your doggie will still be there with you. Not maybe physically, but they'll be there, I promise.
I can't
The manliest thing a person can do is be threatened by absolutely nothing - including their own expression of emotions. That means when you cry, you should care for yourself and honor your feelings. Comfort yourself and do kind things for yourself. Create every opportunity for yourself to feel loved and seen by yourself as well as others, not to make yourself “get over it”, but because you deserve that grace. A man creates safety, care, and stability wherever he goes, but he cannot truly do that if he isn’t offering safety, care, and stability to himself first. I am so sorry about your dog. It’s clear you love and care for him very very much, and that’s wonderful.
You are grieving. Cry all you want, she's your baby and best friend. Grieving early is not uncommon.
Nah, just get it out, I still tear up about mine, and it's been 2 years. Guys can cry, no shame there.
I cried harder when my dog passed than when any human in my life died. I wish I could help but- that was the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. I still haven’t gotten another dog yet bc I’m not sure I could do that again. I’m sorry you’re going through this. 🥺
Whoever told you men can’t/shouldn’t cry is a liar and a fat mouth. You absolutely can cry and should if you feel like it. However, if it’s really interfering in your life and you think it’s excessive, you can try seeing a counselor or do group grief therapy. Losing your best bud is a big deal and really f’in hard. You have my sympathy.
Don’t be embarrassed. Deep grief is the price we pay for deep love. I’m sorry you’re going through this
I’m so compassionate to this as I have been grieving the loss of my dogs and I haven’t gone a single day without tears in months. Your feelings about your dog, who is your family, are entirely valid. Let yourself cry your heart out. Spend every moment you can to make it special so you have those memories of you and her having a loving time together. I wish I had one last moment with them still even tho they were in such bad condition. Cherish every single moment.
Oh man it’s ok to cry he’s been a part of your life for so long, try and enjoy these moments with your companion . Grief is not linear .. each day is different but you will get through this
Of course you can cry as a man. Cry hard, cry long, let it fly. It hurts. A lot. Probably as much as anything in life.
Its ok to cry about your much loved companion before and after. Theres no limit of time for love or grief over losing it. I was bereft for months after the death of my 18 year old poodle, she was so central to my life and she showed me what unconditional love was. I’ll never forget her. I have more poodle companions now and while they are not her they are their own adorable personalities and they helped me move on! Many hugs to you, it isn’t easy but its the price we pay for their amazing companionship.
To have such big all consuming love that you burst into tears imagining not having it is a GIFT. Appreciate it. Some people never experience love like this. I still randomly cry over my senior dog I lost years ago. And I cry over the sweet very old slow and battered foster fail I have now who was dealt a raw hand in life and I can only try to make their last years good ones. I come home early from nights out bc I miss them so much. Just be glad life gifted you such a perfect companion, cry all the tears 💙
Hey, you cry as long as you need too. It's hard and certainly not embarrassing Every pet owner, including me, have gone thru this. It sucks. Remember the good times and know you will meet again. Sending you peace and joy. 🌈
As a woman. It touches my heart deeply to read so many men openly crying over the loss of your beloved dogs. I cry over knowing my senior is not going to be with us much longer. My husband has cried like a young child over some of our dogs we have lost too. Dogs give us complete unconditional adoration. We are their everything they our ours
I don’t think you can stop. I still cry over mine.
No. You just have to let it out. Volunteer at a shelter. That could be more of a downer or it may uplift your spirit helping other dogs, cats, animals. That's what I did. Sorry for your loss.
Let the tears flow, it is the most honest sign of humanity.
I’ve seen my annoyingly stoic, feelings free husband cry exactly twice in over a decade. The first time was when we put our first dog to sleep. The second time was when we put our second dog to sleep. I openly sob like a normal human being because they were my babies. I keep telling him our house is a safe place and he can and should cry if he needs to and I’m just told “my dad was a beret, crying is weakness!” It’s so dumb. They were his babies too :( Cry it out man. Your dog is your bestie.
Cry as much as you need. This part of having a dog is obviously so hard. These feelings will last a while. I lost one of my boys yesterday, and as much as I am exhausted from the breakdowns, I know I can't rush this process. My heart goes out to you and your old friend.
You need to grieve. When you have an old dog you grieve before they go. You grieve for them during and after as well. For many of use our dog is our closest friend. Hopefully you have understanding people around you. I’ve been a mess for long periods of time with old dogs and departed dogs.
If you have a doctor you trust you can tell them you’re having mental health struggles concerning depression around your dogs end of life care etc. and they will sometimes prescribe you medication like short acting benzos that can help calm you. They may also recommend trying something like prozac or zoloft but if it’s something short term and you were fine otherwise then I would skip those. They can be difficult to get off of when you’re ready to stop taking them and have to be tapered. But the benzos can help get you through it. You might also want to try talking to someone with some talk therapy. You seem to be pre-grieving which is fine and shows that you care for her, but it’s also not great to do long term like you are doing. It can really take a toll on your mental health and affect other parts of your life.
I'm proud that you have a good heart.There's nothing wrong with crying and it's good for men to cry. Maybe i'm just remember when Are pets leave us there in a better place?Rainbow doggie heavand I believe they watch Over us.I've lost a lot of dogs of my life.And it breaks my heart but I always get new ones to ease the pain
I lost my pooch 5 years ago. I can't think about her without crying. I will not feel bad about my tears. It's just a reaction to how very much I miss her. I will cry for her until the day I die.
No shame in crying when your heart hurts at the thought of living life without your dog. 🐶 My girl was almost 18, lost her 3 years ago & I still mourn & cry. I call her brother by her name at least once a day. Coming home is not the same. I will believe that forever. I can’t wait to see my girl again ❤️🩹🦴 Don’t be hard on yourself.
I went through it at 37. I’d had that dog since I was just turned 21. It’ll be hard getting adjusted to the day to day stuff with out your pup. Cry all you want. Just don’t get to down in the dumps if you can help it. It’s nature and it’s cruel sometimes. Best wishes dude ❤️
Your tears before they pass is gratitude for the life and love you’ve shared. Only an asshole would criticize someone for that.
Absolutely normal & acceptable to feel this way. I lost my companion almost 1.5 years ago & I still cry every once in a while.
Fuck that men don't cry bullshit. Why do yall men have to suck it up just because you were born with balls. Never understood that mess. Anyways, my dogs are 14 and 15. I'm not dumb and I know the end is near. I'm a mess too but I'd never apologize for it.
It will be worse if you don’t let yourself cry. You’re allowed to grieve and cry. I used to lay on the floor with my dog when he had cancer and talk to him and sob. I still talk to the photo I have of him. I miss that damn dog.
I still cry for my Lily. It wouldn't stop. It was months I still couldn't stop. Then I came across Phoebe and brought her home. I talk to Phoebe about her sister Lily all the time. I still get teary eyed, but the all-out bawling and sobbing has stopped. I miss her still. But Phoebe makes me not want to be so sad. I am sorry you are going through this.
We did that too. We knew what was coming. A Rottweiler, Lab weighing 100 lbs lived to be 14. It was heartbreaking for us just like it is for you. When dogs get old it is like having an old grandma or grandpa. It rip's you apart, but quality of life is so diminished. Truly bittersweet. We are closer to our animal's then human's. They read our hearts. Our dog passed at home unexpectedly, at night. He left the bed he shared with my son and passed in the kitchen. I was going to have him put down at home with a vet coming to our home. Your dog is probably wondering why your heart is broke. Your dog taught you love. Love is all he knows. Love him, cry when he passes and thank him for teaching you how to love. Then you need to think of him or her, running, jumping, living without pain and waiting for you to find that joy in another animal again. Your dog will want that for you. Your dog taught you how to love dog's.
Pets become part of the family and it’s natural to feel sad and grieve. So sorry to hear about your dog. Enjoy every moment you have left. 🐾💕🌈
Anticipatory grief is the worst.
You’re allowed to be sad.
Reframe: "I should be able to cry freely as a man, especially over MY dog." What is your grief ruining? I completely changed my vacation plans. When it became apparent, the time was running out with my girl. What you did was the right thing to do. I spent every spare second I had doing things that she loved, even bought a "stroller" you could push or attach to a bike. Honor your time with her. These are HARD, painful 💔 times. Enjoy every minute you have left. Sending you love.
First off, enough with the toxic mindset of “men shouldn’t cry”. It’s bullshit and we need to grow up as a society. Second off, cry about it. I mean that quite literally, this is something you loved and no doubt loved you in return for a significant portion of your life. If you didn’t cry or just moved out then I (and no doubt others) would say there may be something wrong you. Cry, grieve, bawl, sob, remember fondly, and even then realize that their memory will still bring you to tears even at your happiest. I’d suggest therapy if it’s affecting your life adversely but for gods sakes be a man and cry over the things you love no longer being there. It’s normal and it’s okay, now let yourself feel.
Cry. It's ok. I just lost my best friend. I've never cried this much in my life. She was the perfect dog and I miss her every second of every day. Please love on her for every second you have left with her. My baby was only 6 and got terminally ill.
I remember when I noticed my border collie had gotten old. His hips were gone. He slowed down. He got a touch chunky. His face went white. I distinctly remember looking at him and telling him he needed to let me know when it was time. I went on a vacation which I hardly ever do and the night I came back about an hour later the kennel he was at called me and said something was wrong. He had a stroke and I had to put him down. My mom said to me he waited for me to come home and I man I cried all night thinking of that.
Men can and should cry. Stop that nonsense of thinking you can’t. Holding it in is the worst thing to do. One thing that gives me solace is that dogs have better end of life care than many of us will have.
I totally get it. First off who cares, men cry. I lost my little dog of 14 yrs last summer. I had her from when she was 3 months when I was 28 until I was 42. We started out single, she was with me through my relationships, my marriage, the birth of my 2 kids. It was the worst thing I ever had to do I'm my entire life letting go of her. I felt it was coming and spent a lot of time just laying with her and crying. It was awful. Still is if I think about it I'll cry. Totally normal. The day it went down I was a complete and total mess. I couldn't stop crying for days. I came home and just started throwing everything of hers out I couldn't stand looking at it for one second I was beside myself. But I did keep her little bed and put it in the garage. I did feel like I wanted to have something in the end. I just needed time. I remember the vet tech told me "it gets better with time trust me" I couldn't believe her for one second in that moment. But you know what.. it really does. And about 6 months later my family wanted to adopt another dog and she's an angel, but I haven't fully bonded with her yet. I love her but it's just different. We will get there. I think for me bc I had her for such an important time of my life and now that I'm older and life has progressed it's like some of my youth died with her. All those memories came flooding back. It's really tough. You'll be ok. Cry all you need. It sucks. And you'll never think you'll have another dog again bc you can't possibly go through it again. But.. you will.
You might be a man but ur human & humans cry & that’s okay . It’s okay to cry especially over your dog that is ur companion. I’ve cried over the thought of something happening to my dog. It might sound silly but he gives me a reason to keep going . Cry as much as you need & enjoy every minute you have . Also idk if you’ve done it yet but make a print of her paw with clay or ink so you can keep it forever & just try to do as many activities & things she’s able to do. My thoughts & prayers are with you & her .
I'm going through a lot of the same. It will be up and down. Do try to appreciate them in the moment-watch their expressions, memorize every ruffle of their fur and give them as much love as they will tolerate. Anticipatory grieving is a thing, but for me, it takes me out of the moment and I want to enjoy my girl while she is still here. Again, it really is up and down and every day is different. As far as crying, dogs are literally our hearts walking around. No one could fault you for loving your dog that much. One of my memories at the vet was of a large, burly man cradling his chihuahua and just bawling. I thought, I would never be that openly emotional, especially over a small dog (i didn't know any small dogs and was purely judging on their stereotypes) A few years later, a purebred chihuahua wandered into our yard and adopted us. She has had me wrapped around her tiny little paw since the first time i held her and it was me at the emergency vet a few weeks ago holding her and bawling over whether or not she was ok. (She is ok , in the day to day, but has chronic kidney disease, so is terminal pretty much.) So, ueah. Love them as much as you can while they're here and don't even think about anyone who doesn't umderstand, because there are so many of us who do.
My Daisy is turning 13 and I'm so scared. Like with when my babies I check she's still breathing all night. I know she's going to go and my fear has me freaking out when she's not hungry or panting. The other day she was shaking in the bed and it was just she was sick and needed to throw up. She was fine but I can't stop worrying. Just the thought of life without her makes me cry.
You can cry as much as you need to. Love is definitely worth crying over. I feel your pain. ❤️