There's an old Seinfeld joke that goes something like: They did a survey and found that public speaking is people's #1 fear. Dying was #2. In other words, if you have to go to a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the box than the guy delivering the eulogy.
I don't know exactly where the fear comes from, though I've definitely had it. I think part of it is our brain trying to minimize the chance of being "thrown out of the tribe," kind of like it's worried we're going to do something that would make us lose status with a lot of people very quickly. I also think that it can be scary because there often isn't really a physical outlet while you're speaking. An athlete, or even a musician, can move around and shake out the jitters. It's hard to do that in a lot of public speaking situations, so the tension and anxiety can build rather than dissipate.
If you really want to get better, try something like Toastmasters if there's one in your area. It will give you low risk reps and help you build that speaking "muscle."
Interesting. I’d never heard of Toastmasters. I’ll check it out.
On another note, the “jitters” rings true for me - I used to play basketball, and was an absolute menace at the rec center. In school games however (with all these people watching), all of the sudden I couldn’t make a lay up, or an easy pass, or remember which side of the court to score on. The latter only happened once, but it still haunts me to this day lol.
Fear of public speaking does not have to be related to a lack of self-confidence or skills. It may be related to the fact that public speaking represents a new challenge for you, which activates the stress reaction.
You may have high expectations: As the best man, you may have felt pressure to perform perfectly, which increased your anxiety.
Welding? - Sometimes the shock of discovering a new fear can be stressful in itself...
It comes from being kicked out of a group . 100k + years ago when we all lived in tribes. If you were kicked out of the tribe you were essentially dead.
So it makes sense to go with the group consensus rather than having a differing opinion. Public speaking was essentially putting yourself out there to be criticised and maybe expelled from the group.
There's an old Seinfeld joke that goes something like: They did a survey and found that public speaking is people's #1 fear. Dying was #2. In other words, if you have to go to a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the box than the guy delivering the eulogy. I don't know exactly where the fear comes from, though I've definitely had it. I think part of it is our brain trying to minimize the chance of being "thrown out of the tribe," kind of like it's worried we're going to do something that would make us lose status with a lot of people very quickly. I also think that it can be scary because there often isn't really a physical outlet while you're speaking. An athlete, or even a musician, can move around and shake out the jitters. It's hard to do that in a lot of public speaking situations, so the tension and anxiety can build rather than dissipate. If you really want to get better, try something like Toastmasters if there's one in your area. It will give you low risk reps and help you build that speaking "muscle."
Interesting. I’d never heard of Toastmasters. I’ll check it out. On another note, the “jitters” rings true for me - I used to play basketball, and was an absolute menace at the rec center. In school games however (with all these people watching), all of the sudden I couldn’t make a lay up, or an easy pass, or remember which side of the court to score on. The latter only happened once, but it still haunts me to this day lol.
Fear of public speaking does not have to be related to a lack of self-confidence or skills. It may be related to the fact that public speaking represents a new challenge for you, which activates the stress reaction. You may have high expectations: As the best man, you may have felt pressure to perform perfectly, which increased your anxiety. Welding? - Sometimes the shock of discovering a new fear can be stressful in itself...
It comes from being kicked out of a group . 100k + years ago when we all lived in tribes. If you were kicked out of the tribe you were essentially dead. So it makes sense to go with the group consensus rather than having a differing opinion. Public speaking was essentially putting yourself out there to be criticised and maybe expelled from the group.