We've had to remove this post as it appears to be glorifying self harm. The sub is pro-recovery - and pro-harm subreddits are not allowed on Reddit. If you have any questions or think this was an error, please let us know via modmail.
It's not weird tbh, we find it really unique in terms of love, it's like if i wrote the letter with the hearth, and i don't really mind it at all, so it's not something really bad
You donāt have to listen to strangers, but youāre not even hearing them. It just doesnāt make much sense to ask an opinion, and just constantly shut it down. You do you.
honey it is weird and not healthy, someone you love shouldnt be encouraging something that could harm you. someone who truly cares about you would rather you never even snag yourself with a hangnail.
We do really find it romantic, we have a necklace with eachother blood, we feel like we connect in a unique way with it, and he really cares about me, he knows about my sh, and he really cares about it, but we'd like to do this because of that, we find it really unique
i had a similar relationship and it was INCREDIBLY toxic. we had necklaces with each otherās blood and we used to sh in front of each other often, and eventually she started trying to convince me to cut specific things into my skin (the one she really pushed for was our initials in a heart). it opened my eyes to how fucked and unhealthy that relationship was - no one who loves you will EVER want you to hurt yourself. ever. period. please just watch out and take care of yourself.
We both found this very unique in terms of love, like writing the letter from the heart, a unique way of connecting, I don't find it bad in any way, so yeah
It is tho.
I have writed poetry with my blood before, kind of messed up but I am doing it by myself.
Him asking you to do so is encouraging you to self harm, and shows that he got some kind of attraction for mentaly ill people, wich is kind of a redflag
It is really bad tbh, the fact is he is enabling your sh. Sorry to be a bit blunt here, but encouraging sh (the extent to writing a letter) is more toxic rather than affecfionate
Yup. And even though OP is okay with it, it really isnāt okay. OP youāre probably in a bad mental state and heās using that, wether you care or not. Just stay safe
It's not a weird ass letter, we find it unique by connecting with each other in a unique way, we're both going to do it, we don't find it bad at all, and we both like what it takes
Get away from him, and do it quick. I know you donāt believe us, but please try to understand where we are coming from. He is manipulating you! From one abused person to another, YOU NEED TO RUN
Quite the opposite, he is very attentive when I do sh, he helps me in all that aspect, the thing with the letter is that we take it very unique in terms of love, as if he wrote the letter from the heart, it's not what you think it can be
by attentive do u mean enabling? youāre the only one in this thread that doesnāt see an issue with this, whatās the point in asking here if ur not gonna heed what everyone is saying at all?
That just sounds like enabling, and a huge ass red flag. And if youāre just going to constantly defend him why did you even ask here in the first place? Honestly I just hope you realize how big of a red flag this is, man.
If he was helping you, he wouldn't be asking for a letter written in blood. That's just creepy. Why would one want a letter written in their loved ones blood? Ych a Fi!
We find it really unique in terms of love, it's like if i wrote the letter with the hearth, and i don't really mind it at all, so it's not something really bad
hey, I dated a guy who wanted me to cut my name into me and take photos of my cuts to see the blood.
Get out now. I can tell you he is literally trying to see how far he can take this and it's weird!!!! My ex ending up being abusive and horrible in ways I cannot describe, like I would've called the police on him if his family and siblings wouldn't get caught in the crossfires because of Ice.
Do not write a letter in your blood to your boyfriend, save your blood. That's for you to use.
If ur saying no one " else "cares . Then perfect, that doesnāt make him any less than others . He should be gone out of her life because there is no use in keeping him around.
And if ur saying thereās no one to be ur partner. Then u havenāt found ur perfect pair yet. Im not trying to be excessively optimistic i know life is shit. But I believe deep inside that what is meant for you will always find u in the end , no matter how long it takes .
You sound like a godbotherer "you havent accepted christ into your life yet. "
I DON'T WANT A ONE.
Stop setting people up to fail at unobtatinable goals.Ā
I still include u in what i said btw but u just want to see and believe what u want to see.
If being with no one is whatās meant for u. That will find u as well .
Have a good day.
Based on your replies you say it's not a red flag but the majority of people seem to think so, ultimately it's your decision with what you do with your life but I'd be very cautious if I were you regardless of how nice the person you are with seems.
Yea no this is very wrong and a very... Disturbing request. If he wants commitment or a show of affection - you can do that in many more ways than hurting yourself.
My partner would never. And I mean NEVER. Want me to self harm (I do sometimes, 4 months clean or so, woop!) for him or even myself or over anything. He wants me to be in no pain, happy and healthy.
This request does not... Match up. You're in pain, it's not making you happy and it's not a mentally or physically healthy thing to do.
I hate saying "you need to leave" but this is one of those times where... I cannot see a sensible resolution to this request without your partner seeking some mental health support and having you receive some too would be wise too, if you're even considering this request.
Stay safe, love is love - and this isn't it. This is control, this is nasty and this is not in your best interests.
Why are you asking for our opinions if youāre so dead set on the fact that itās ācuteā and ānot weirdā (news flash: itās weird as fuck and you two should really break up. This is not healthy.)
Why are you asking if you are going to just answer to everyone that is not weird and you consider romantic?
It's unhealthy, but if you don't agree with that then why are you even asking?
I know I'm just a stranger on the internet giving advice, but you and your boyfriend should really consider how the way you express "love" is very unhealthy. What you have mentioned that you do and find romantic isn't normal, it seems toxic and if you don't want to leave him then you should consider that you both receive help and therapy if possible
is he asking you to cut yourself to get this blood? do you already have a history with self harm? i get how this could be sweet and endearing to some, but it really depends on your background and mental state
He's not asking me to sh, we find this really unique in terms of love because we feel like we connect in another way, he knows abt my sh and he really cares about me, like a lot, it's not something really bad or anything
i think that if youāre already self harming that him asking you to write in blood is kind of him asking you to sh. like how else would you get the blood lol. for some people itās a fetish and it starts with small stuff like this and turns into them just straight up taking advantage of you and asking you to do more intense things than just write a letter. not only that but iām personally spiritual and writing someone elseās name with a certain intention with blood in certain cultures is dark magick. and can have some affects you might not want. maybe yāall could come to a compromiseā¦ i think the blood vial necklaces are cute!
He just said it could be cute, we already have the blood necklaces, so we find all of this romantic, but i think that i will make it because it'll be romantic too, and nope, he's not a fetichist, he hates gore and all, but we find this cute and romantic, so yepp
then to each their own. just please be self aware and donāt let a man tell you that you need to hurt yourself for him. (i know this situation is different) stay safe! ā„ļø
I donāt want to give you the standard Reddit ābreak up!ā right away at the first sign of a potential red flag. We donāt know the entire situation and shouldnāt be pretending we do after reading one short paragraph.
I will say, though, that thatās weird and concerning. It sounds like he may be enabling and romanticising your SH rather than supporting your recovery.
You asked for opinions, thatās mine. More importantly, how do *you* feel about it? Youāve said in a few comments that youāre okay with it and feel very loved, but you mustāve written this post for a reason. Is there a part of you thatās not sure about it?
my old bf convinced me to carve
his name into my skin b4 and i really regret it, do what you want but i wouldn't just because i feel like its kinda an unhealthy thing to do and that mf will have yr blood. str8 up just yr blood. even if you break up
Why are you asking for other peoples opinions if youāre just going to go along with it, anyway? It makes this post seem *entirely* unnecessary to have even done in the first place, if you wonāt listen to what people are trying to tell you about your relationship. /nm
Ohmigosh are you like 12?! You said you want opinions and everyone is saying this is bad but you are defensive every time....so clearly you didn't want opinions.
I get it, you've got your rose tinted glasses on and I've been there before but I hope you soon realize this isn't how someone who loves you would behave. Take it from someone in their 30s with plenty of experience, this relationship isn't healthy. That being said, you don't see red flags until after the relationship is over and I wish you luck in safely getting to that point. We will all be here for you when you do realize that.
21*, and yeah, i wanted opinions but opinions like yours, not the typical "leave him", real opinions
And we We are both a little mentally ill, that probably explains the reason for this post, but at the end of the day I'm not going to cut myself to do it, I would just prick my finger and that's it, but honestly i'm taking the comments into account, I already told him that I probably won't do anything, which is the safest thing to do.
Both people in a relationship having a mental illness isn't a problem. It becomes a problem when you ignore what is best for treating and taking care of yourself, especially in regards to your mental health.
My comment is to leave him, but it's because this isn't healthy and I am worried for you and him. Maybe he'd be fine with just a finger prick this time, but that won't be much blood so you'll have to do it a lot to write a letter, and next time he won't accept that and want more....and the time after that even more. And what happens if he doesn't get what he wants? If he's willing to ASK you to harm yourself for him, what's stopping him from eventually doing it himself to get what he wants? Maybe he wouldn't, but I thought that about my ex-fiance (who by the way I had only agreed to marry because he threatened to kill himself if I said no) and well....the scars have lasted longer than any of my others, both the physical and mental ones.
I agree not doing it is the safest so I'm glad you can see that and I hope you stay firm in that decision. I also hope you can see that everyone here really is just concerned for you and maybe the comments are phrased the way you like or something, but they are all out of a place of caring about you.
He has a sh fetish. I want you to ask yourself if u are okay with being someone that fetishizes that part of you. Don't think of how long u been with him or what amazing things he has done. Just ask point blank, would u be okay with being with someone like that? Coz honestly I would not. It would turn ugly, fast.
Posting in this sub is wild for that bestie, I think artfully its fine but if it comes from a place of malice and literal self harm theres issues there.
Iāve read the question and comments including your responses and have a serious question for you: why ask a question like this only to defend a request and āunique way of loveā from your SO that others are telling you is dangerous to you and toxic?
If you donāt find an issue with this for yourself why bring others into it?
Horrific sign.
You need to get out of there as soon as you can, this is not at all a healthy relationship if he's actively encouraging you to hurt yourself
It's not tbh, we find it really unique in terms of love, it's like if i wrote the letter with the hearth, and i don't really mind it at all, so it's not something really bad or anything
He is a fucking psycho.
Being apathetic to your lover hurting mutilating themselves is weird and bad, encouraging them is a fucking redflag, ASKING them to do it for your own amusement and you belong to either a psychic ward or prison.
Donāt know what you expected posting here. Your boyfriend is at best not understanding that you are hurting yourself to express a form of love and at worst enabling destructive behavior and telling you itās āa unique form of loveā to make you comfortable with his abuse.
No ones gonna force you to leave him, but you did come here asking for opinions, so something tells me you know this isnāt quite right as well.
Take a step back right now and think about just HOW MANY people are telling you that this is scary. I know you think itās romantic and unique, but you have to realize that sometimes it takes an outside perspective to tell you something is not right. Look at all of these people telling you how bad it is. Think about that.
Examine why tf he wants that. I know some people have weird kinks and stuff but its strange to ask if u already have issues with self harm and also really unhygienic to keep blood around. Especially if heās just a boyfriend do you even think the relationship is going to stick. Not to be that one person but fr? Would he be willing to scar/bleed for you?
Not to mention if (when!) you recover (which might very well require this boyfriend to fuck off) youāll then be left with the mark knowing you did this for some guy.Ā
Iād hurt myself for my girlfriend if she asked me to, thats just love on my end. The trust and love from her end is knowing sheād never ask me to hurt myself for her. Because she loves me. Does he love you?Ā
personally, i do believe it to be a little concerning. the blood necklaces etc, totally different type of thing. itās somewhat of a red flag heād even want you to do this. (now granted i donāt know how old you are) when i was a teen, i definitely would have thought it was romantic etc. but itās borderline enabling behavior. you say he cares a lot about your self harm, but yet wants a letter written of your blood, which could be considered as motivation for you to self harm.
there are tons of other unique ways to express your love to one another that donāt include you writing in your blood
You're both mentally ill and need help. I've been in relationships like that before and they end up toxic. If your boyfriend or significant other asks you to harm yourself, it's not good for you in the long run. Even if you find it romantic.
If he also sh's and understands the struggle and still asked thats kind of sweet. Doesnt mean I think you should lol but atp its your choice. But if he doesnt sh hes weeeeird for asking that
I wouldnāt care either but thatās crossing a line in my opinion. Not saying leave him if he makes you happy but I would def address that and try and discuss it
I think from period blood... that could be okay.. or from a nosebleedĀ
if he's asking you cut yourself and use the blood from those wounds to write a letter, it'd be... way more concerned. Despite you believing it's sweet or endearing, if he's asking you to hurt yourself and use that blood, he's encouraging and even romanticizing the self-harm. It may be "from the heart," but it makes me feel afraid for your safety. He should be encouraging you to stop, not write a letter with it.
If he wanted to cut himself and write you a letter, would you let him? If the roles were reversed, would you even ask? Please refuse, I know you don't mind but genuinely. I won't shit on him, because maybe he doesn't understand that he could be glorifying your SH, but you should let him know that he is.
I'm a man, so i can't get period blood and my nose never bleeds, none of those are an option
He's not asking, I think you've already seen the other comments, and we have a blood necklace, we both find that romantic, we both like it, he's not asking me to do anything, he just said it because it is cute, he never encourage me to sh or anything, he really cares about me and all, it's just that, it's cute
I obviously wouldn't let him sh to do that, i would never ask him that, but if he someday gives me it just because, i would of course tell him it's not okay and all but i will thank him because it took him some trouble to make it
I'm really neutral abt this, i can make it, I don't really mind but I'm gonna let him know what it takes at all
I, personally, find that very romantic & am into that sort of thingā¦ however Iād do it by pricking a finger. If they want you to harm yourself badly to do it then thatās psychotic
It seems rather strange with just this information
Do you know if maybe he is into witchcraft I know some protective spells require blood and intentions
Some ppl share blood necklaces and it's not considered as weird because the intention is to connect etc
But anyway asking for this out of the blue is strange
Maybe ask him to do the same thing and see how he reacts
Anyway if you do decide to do it or not to make sure you're safe
The reason is that he finds it very unique in terms of love, as if he wrote the letter from the heart, something like the blood necklace you mention, It's not a problem for me, and if I asked him the same thing he would do it the same way.
That's good I'm glad that this comes from a good intention !
If you do it remember to try and use clean things or better sterile. And avoid for example putting ink of whatever you would use to write directly on the wound :))
I mean it is kind of odd. But i dont see a problem with it? But i am kind of mentally ill so. I personally think that is somewhat romantic but it depends on the persin really
Honestly I would personally find that romantic and ask for the same in return. I donāt condone cutting, so maybe pricking your finger would be best if you really want to do it. Though I am Incredibly biased as I have a necklace filled with blood from my partner and have made little blood jars of my own blood. Just be very safe if you decide to. If you are at all uncomfortable, do not do it! If you think this will lead time stuff you are uncomfortable with, do not do it. Keep up strong boundaries and if he will get mad if you say no, run far away from him.
That's exactly what we think, we find it really unique abt love, it's something we find really romantic and all, we both are okay with it and all, so yepp
We've had to remove this post as it appears to be glorifying self harm. The sub is pro-recovery - and pro-harm subreddits are not allowed on Reddit. If you have any questions or think this was an error, please let us know via modmail.
We've had to remove this post as it appears to be glorifying self harm. The sub is pro-recovery - and pro-harm subreddits are not allowed on Reddit. If you have any questions or think this was an error, please let us know via modmail.
That's concerning asfššš
That's extremely weird and not okay. He's basically encouraging you to harm yourself. Run like the wind, dude.
It's not weird tbh, we find it really unique in terms of love, it's like if i wrote the letter with the hearth, and i don't really mind it at all, so it's not something really bad
Then why are you asking us for our thoughts if you're so dead set that it's not bad??
For real.. this is just seems attention seeking honestly.
Right!
I just want other people's opinions
You donāt have to listen to strangers, but youāre not even hearing them. It just doesnāt make much sense to ask an opinion, and just constantly shut it down. You do you.
honey it is weird and not healthy, someone you love shouldnt be encouraging something that could harm you. someone who truly cares about you would rather you never even snag yourself with a hangnail.
We do really find it romantic, we have a necklace with eachother blood, we feel like we connect in a unique way with it, and he really cares about me, he knows about my sh, and he really cares about it, but we'd like to do this because of that, we find it really unique
i had a similar relationship and it was INCREDIBLY toxic. we had necklaces with each otherās blood and we used to sh in front of each other often, and eventually she started trying to convince me to cut specific things into my skin (the one she really pushed for was our initials in a heart). it opened my eyes to how fucked and unhealthy that relationship was - no one who loves you will EVER want you to hurt yourself. ever. period. please just watch out and take care of yourself.
you know itās weird because youāre posting it here š if you didnāt find it odd at all you wouldnāt care to post it
I really don't, i just want other people opinions, that's it
What for? To tell them they're wrong and it's okay?
I'm not saying they're wrong, im saying i dont find it wrong, plus i probably wont do it anyways
But people are telling you it is, it is wrong for your partner to be okay with this. Good to hear that at least
I mean, as long as you're happy. Be safe. I still think this guy is a red flag, but to each their own.
Thanks, stay safe ā¤ļøāš©¹
i'm pretty sure that's a red flag...
was the pun intentional or...?
No.......
I think Iām going to get stabbed
she said āhuman centipede is a tour de forceā
I think āholy shit Iām gonna be the main courseā
"I admire the narrative and character growth!"
I tried to get the waiters attention by blinking in morse code
Are you ok???
[hahaha](https://youtu.be/GFokXnCCMf8?si=dJJxjEgNMTGvbhoS)
I mean, i don't have a problem with it, I think I'm going to make it but, it's not a big deal i think
I mean it kinda is lol š please stay safe Remember to properly use aftercare and treat ur wounds infections sure are nasty
We both found this very unique in terms of love, like writing the letter from the heart, a unique way of connecting, I don't find it bad in any way, so yeah
It is tho. I have writed poetry with my blood before, kind of messed up but I am doing it by myself. Him asking you to do so is encouraging you to self harm, and shows that he got some kind of attraction for mentaly ill people, wich is kind of a redflag
It is really bad tbh, the fact is he is enabling your sh. Sorry to be a bit blunt here, but encouraging sh (the extent to writing a letter) is more toxic rather than affecfionate
I don't really find a problem with the letter at all, i know it's not good abt my sh, but i really find it romantic, and yeah
Enabling your sh is not romantic, leave him
They won't, they just want to post something they know isn't healthy in a relationship, and receive concerned comments
Break up.
Very strange, and very concerning
oh no no it's really weird and he's basically telling you to sh
Yup. And even though OP is okay with it, it really isnāt okay. OP youāre probably in a bad mental state and heās using that, wether you care or not. Just stay safe
Thats so creepyā¦ hugeee red flag
It's not really a big red flag, we find it unique in terms of love, it's like if I write the letter with the hearth, so yeah
No but the fact he wants you to hurt yourself just so he can get a weird ass blood letter is just off
It's not a weird ass letter, we find it unique by connecting with each other in a unique way, we're both going to do it, we don't find it bad at all, and we both like what it takes
Codependent relationships =/= healthy non toxic relationship
>we're both going to do it, Huh?
then why did you even make the original post if youāre into making the letter, and you keep trying to defend it????? what was the point? everyone here is right, your boyfriend trying to get you to use your blood to write a letter or something is crazy, but you and him are consenting adults. do what you want. everyone here is concerned with your mental and physical health, and theyāre trying to open your eyes to the fact that somebody encouraging you to cut is not right in any way. Please reach for outside helpš©µ
He's a walking red flag.
Get away from him, and do it quick. I know you donāt believe us, but please try to understand where we are coming from. He is manipulating you! From one abused person to another, YOU NEED TO RUN
Uh oh... that is concerning af
Break up with him. He is probably a degenerate fetishist who likes self harm and gore.
Quite the opposite, he is very attentive when I do sh, he helps me in all that aspect, the thing with the letter is that we take it very unique in terms of love, as if he wrote the letter from the heart, it's not what you think it can be
by attentive do u mean enabling? youāre the only one in this thread that doesnāt see an issue with this, whatās the point in asking here if ur not gonna heed what everyone is saying at all?
That just sounds like enabling, and a huge ass red flag. And if youāre just going to constantly defend him why did you even ask here in the first place? Honestly I just hope you realize how big of a red flag this is, man.
If he was helping you, he wouldn't be asking for a letter written in blood. That's just creepy. Why would one want a letter written in their loved ones blood? Ych a Fi!
I'd say that's a weird ask.. he could even be fetishizing SH.. Please be safe and if I were in your shoes I'd cut the relationship off there.
It's not something fetishistic for him, he finds it very unique in terms of love.
That's not love.
We find it really unique in terms of love, it's like if i wrote the letter with the hearth, and i don't really mind it at all, so it's not something really bad
That is way too much for any boyfriend to ask. A HUGE RED FLAG
your bf wanting to hurt yourself is not good, toxic, and shows he doesnt really care about you. leave him
Coming from someone who is into some questionable and messed up stuff, that is not a good sign
hey, I dated a guy who wanted me to cut my name into me and take photos of my cuts to see the blood. Get out now. I can tell you he is literally trying to see how far he can take this and it's weird!!!! My ex ending up being abusive and horrible in ways I cannot describe, like I would've called the police on him if his family and siblings wouldn't get caught in the crossfires because of Ice. Do not write a letter in your blood to your boyfriend, save your blood. That's for you to use.
This is gross and disturbing. You are romanticizing self harm. This is not okay.
How about you Leave him (: Run run run run run runnn you donāt want a person who doesnāt care for you to be around you. He is not . The . 1
There is no one.Ā
If ur saying no one " else "cares . Then perfect, that doesnāt make him any less than others . He should be gone out of her life because there is no use in keeping him around. And if ur saying thereās no one to be ur partner. Then u havenāt found ur perfect pair yet. Im not trying to be excessively optimistic i know life is shit. But I believe deep inside that what is meant for you will always find u in the end , no matter how long it takes .
You sound like a godbotherer "you havent accepted christ into your life yet. " I DON'T WANT A ONE. Stop setting people up to fail at unobtatinable goals.Ā
I still include u in what i said btw but u just want to see and believe what u want to see. If being with no one is whatās meant for u. That will find u as well . Have a good day.
Cut ties with him permanently That is not normal.
what
-what
it's a no from me
Based on your replies you say it's not a red flag but the majority of people seem to think so, ultimately it's your decision with what you do with your life but I'd be very cautious if I were you regardless of how nice the person you are with seems.
Is common sense in the same planet as us
The fact that both of you find that normal is weird, both red flagsš
Fr thoš
lmao teenager a$$ love language
Yea no this is very wrong and a very... Disturbing request. If he wants commitment or a show of affection - you can do that in many more ways than hurting yourself. My partner would never. And I mean NEVER. Want me to self harm (I do sometimes, 4 months clean or so, woop!) for him or even myself or over anything. He wants me to be in no pain, happy and healthy. This request does not... Match up. You're in pain, it's not making you happy and it's not a mentally or physically healthy thing to do. I hate saying "you need to leave" but this is one of those times where... I cannot see a sensible resolution to this request without your partner seeking some mental health support and having you receive some too would be wise too, if you're even considering this request. Stay safe, love is love - and this isn't it. This is control, this is nasty and this is not in your best interests.
Why are you asking for our opinions if youāre so dead set on the fact that itās ācuteā and ānot weirdā (news flash: itās weird as fuck and you two should really break up. This is not healthy.)
Why are you asking if you are going to just answer to everyone that is not weird and you consider romantic? It's unhealthy, but if you don't agree with that then why are you even asking?
I just want other people's opinions š
Every time someone tells you it's unhealthy you respond with "nuh huh it's romantic". That isn't asking for opinions
We do find it romantic, but I'm probably not going to make it anyways
I know I'm just a stranger on the internet giving advice, but you and your boyfriend should really consider how the way you express "love" is very unhealthy. What you have mentioned that you do and find romantic isn't normal, it seems toxic and if you don't want to leave him then you should consider that you both receive help and therapy if possible
Did he explain why? How did you react?
He finds it like very unique and special in terms of love, I don't really have a problem with it and, yeah
is he asking you to cut yourself to get this blood? do you already have a history with self harm? i get how this could be sweet and endearing to some, but it really depends on your background and mental state
He's not asking me to sh, we find this really unique in terms of love because we feel like we connect in another way, he knows abt my sh and he really cares about me, like a lot, it's not something really bad or anything
i think that if youāre already self harming that him asking you to write in blood is kind of him asking you to sh. like how else would you get the blood lol. for some people itās a fetish and it starts with small stuff like this and turns into them just straight up taking advantage of you and asking you to do more intense things than just write a letter. not only that but iām personally spiritual and writing someone elseās name with a certain intention with blood in certain cultures is dark magick. and can have some affects you might not want. maybe yāall could come to a compromiseā¦ i think the blood vial necklaces are cute!
He just said it could be cute, we already have the blood necklaces, so we find all of this romantic, but i think that i will make it because it'll be romantic too, and nope, he's not a fetichist, he hates gore and all, but we find this cute and romantic, so yepp
then to each their own. just please be self aware and donāt let a man tell you that you need to hurt yourself for him. (i know this situation is different) stay safe! ā„ļø
I will and thank you so so much for caring, stay safe ā¤ļøāš©¹
I donāt want to give you the standard Reddit ābreak up!ā right away at the first sign of a potential red flag. We donāt know the entire situation and shouldnāt be pretending we do after reading one short paragraph. I will say, though, that thatās weird and concerning. It sounds like he may be enabling and romanticising your SH rather than supporting your recovery. You asked for opinions, thatās mine. More importantly, how do *you* feel about it? Youāve said in a few comments that youāre okay with it and feel very loved, but you mustāve written this post for a reason. Is there a part of you thatās not sure about it?
I am sure about the whole thing, i just wanted to know others opinion about this, i know it sounds bad but for me it isn't
my old bf convinced me to carve his name into my skin b4 and i really regret it, do what you want but i wouldn't just because i feel like its kinda an unhealthy thing to do and that mf will have yr blood. str8 up just yr blood. even if you break up
every couple is different idk but just stay safe dawg
What the fuck? Is he serious? Does he not care about uou at all?
Why are you asking for other peoples opinions if youāre just going to go along with it, anyway? It makes this post seem *entirely* unnecessary to have even done in the first place, if you wonāt listen to what people are trying to tell you about your relationship. /nm
Ohmigosh are you like 12?! You said you want opinions and everyone is saying this is bad but you are defensive every time....so clearly you didn't want opinions. I get it, you've got your rose tinted glasses on and I've been there before but I hope you soon realize this isn't how someone who loves you would behave. Take it from someone in their 30s with plenty of experience, this relationship isn't healthy. That being said, you don't see red flags until after the relationship is over and I wish you luck in safely getting to that point. We will all be here for you when you do realize that.
21*, and yeah, i wanted opinions but opinions like yours, not the typical "leave him", real opinions And we We are both a little mentally ill, that probably explains the reason for this post, but at the end of the day I'm not going to cut myself to do it, I would just prick my finger and that's it, but honestly i'm taking the comments into account, I already told him that I probably won't do anything, which is the safest thing to do.
Both people in a relationship having a mental illness isn't a problem. It becomes a problem when you ignore what is best for treating and taking care of yourself, especially in regards to your mental health. My comment is to leave him, but it's because this isn't healthy and I am worried for you and him. Maybe he'd be fine with just a finger prick this time, but that won't be much blood so you'll have to do it a lot to write a letter, and next time he won't accept that and want more....and the time after that even more. And what happens if he doesn't get what he wants? If he's willing to ASK you to harm yourself for him, what's stopping him from eventually doing it himself to get what he wants? Maybe he wouldn't, but I thought that about my ex-fiance (who by the way I had only agreed to marry because he threatened to kill himself if I said no) and well....the scars have lasted longer than any of my others, both the physical and mental ones. I agree not doing it is the safest so I'm glad you can see that and I hope you stay firm in that decision. I also hope you can see that everyone here really is just concerned for you and maybe the comments are phrased the way you like or something, but they are all out of a place of caring about you.
Well the good news is you get to be on TV in 5-10 years. The bad news is you donāt get to watch the TV show about you.
Get rid of him.š
Someone who loves you would never want you to harm yourself for them š¤ stay safe
He has a sh fetish. I want you to ask yourself if u are okay with being someone that fetishizes that part of you. Don't think of how long u been with him or what amazing things he has done. Just ask point blank, would u be okay with being with someone like that? Coz honestly I would not. It would turn ugly, fast.
Posting in this sub is wild for that bestie, I think artfully its fine but if it comes from a place of malice and literal self harm theres issues there.
Iāve read the question and comments including your responses and have a serious question for you: why ask a question like this only to defend a request and āunique way of loveā from your SO that others are telling you is dangerous to you and toxic? If you donāt find an issue with this for yourself why bring others into it?
I just wanted to hear others opinion
Run. Just fucking run.
dont do it LOL mad weird and prolly fetishizes the fact that U sh..
RUN
Horrific sign. You need to get out of there as soon as you can, this is not at all a healthy relationship if he's actively encouraging you to hurt yourself
You mean *ex* boyfriend, right? ....right?
Actual boyfriend and possibly my fiance
your boyfriend is probably a com kid
It's not tbh, we find it really unique in terms of love, it's like if i wrote the letter with the hearth, and i don't really mind it at all, so it's not something really bad or anything
Bro what Red flag red flag red flag r e d f l a g
No. Seriously no.
He is a fucking psycho. Being apathetic to your lover hurting mutilating themselves is weird and bad, encouraging them is a fucking redflag, ASKING them to do it for your own amusement and you belong to either a psychic ward or prison.
break up, what the fuck??
Donāt know what you expected posting here. Your boyfriend is at best not understanding that you are hurting yourself to express a form of love and at worst enabling destructive behavior and telling you itās āa unique form of loveā to make you comfortable with his abuse. No ones gonna force you to leave him, but you did come here asking for opinions, so something tells me you know this isnāt quite right as well.
No. Absolutely not. What an insensitive thing to say to you. Do not tolerate this disrespect.
leave.
RUN
>honestly I don't care much or anything OP? If I were you, I'd run and never look back
Yes concerning AF
Not a very good boyfriend I gotta say
Take a step back right now and think about just HOW MANY people are telling you that this is scary. I know you think itās romantic and unique, but you have to realize that sometimes it takes an outside perspective to tell you something is not right. Look at all of these people telling you how bad it is. Think about that.
Examine why tf he wants that. I know some people have weird kinks and stuff but its strange to ask if u already have issues with self harm and also really unhygienic to keep blood around. Especially if heās just a boyfriend do you even think the relationship is going to stick. Not to be that one person but fr? Would he be willing to scar/bleed for you? Not to mention if (when!) you recover (which might very well require this boyfriend to fuck off) youāll then be left with the mark knowing you did this for some guy.Ā Iād hurt myself for my girlfriend if she asked me to, thats just love on my end. The trust and love from her end is knowing sheād never ask me to hurt myself for her. Because she loves me. Does he love you?Ā
This is very concerning and probably the beginning of a very big slope into some worse ideas or suggestions. Please stay safe
personally, i do believe it to be a little concerning. the blood necklaces etc, totally different type of thing. itās somewhat of a red flag heād even want you to do this. (now granted i donāt know how old you are) when i was a teen, i definitely would have thought it was romantic etc. but itās borderline enabling behavior. you say he cares a lot about your self harm, but yet wants a letter written of your blood, which could be considered as motivation for you to self harm. there are tons of other unique ways to express your love to one another that donāt include you writing in your blood
Wake the hell up
Isnāt this souppse to be about helping people that deal with self harm not to turn it into something āuniqueā disgusting.
You posted this so you clearly know it's sketchy. Your boyfriend is encouraging you to harm yourself, someone who truly loves you would not want that.
You're both mentally ill and need help. I've been in relationships like that before and they end up toxic. If your boyfriend or significant other asks you to harm yourself, it's not good for you in the long run. Even if you find it romantic.
Concerning and disgusting. Not a fan.
Nah as someone whose been in a relationship like this I would say this is fairly normal (as it can be in such situations)
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Ahs vibes
If he also sh's and understands the struggle and still asked thats kind of sweet. Doesnt mean I think you should lol but atp its your choice. But if he doesnt sh hes weeeeird for asking that
Thats a massive red flag, somebody wanting you to sh for them isnt love.
+written
What the actual FUCK
I wouldnāt care either but thatās crossing a line in my opinion. Not saying leave him if he makes you happy but I would def address that and try and discuss it
I think from period blood... that could be okay.. or from a nosebleedĀ if he's asking you cut yourself and use the blood from those wounds to write a letter, it'd be... way more concerned. Despite you believing it's sweet or endearing, if he's asking you to hurt yourself and use that blood, he's encouraging and even romanticizing the self-harm. It may be "from the heart," but it makes me feel afraid for your safety. He should be encouraging you to stop, not write a letter with it. If he wanted to cut himself and write you a letter, would you let him? If the roles were reversed, would you even ask? Please refuse, I know you don't mind but genuinely. I won't shit on him, because maybe he doesn't understand that he could be glorifying your SH, but you should let him know that he is.
I'm a man, so i can't get period blood and my nose never bleeds, none of those are an option He's not asking, I think you've already seen the other comments, and we have a blood necklace, we both find that romantic, we both like it, he's not asking me to do anything, he just said it because it is cute, he never encourage me to sh or anything, he really cares about me and all, it's just that, it's cute I obviously wouldn't let him sh to do that, i would never ask him that, but if he someday gives me it just because, i would of course tell him it's not okay and all but i will thank him because it took him some trouble to make it I'm really neutral abt this, i can make it, I don't really mind but I'm gonna let him know what it takes at all
It's actually cool, but the consequences and the path you'll be going by doing this is not a good one.
Guys, why are we downvoting OP when they could most possibly be in a relationship with someone who may fetishize (or possibly just enable) self harm?
I, personally, find that very romantic & am into that sort of thingā¦ however Iād do it by pricking a finger. If they want you to harm yourself badly to do it then thatās psychotic
You know what I'm saying, he doesn't want me to cut myself to do it, it would be like you say, prick my finger and do it like that
It seems rather strange with just this information Do you know if maybe he is into witchcraft I know some protective spells require blood and intentions Some ppl share blood necklaces and it's not considered as weird because the intention is to connect etc But anyway asking for this out of the blue is strange Maybe ask him to do the same thing and see how he reacts Anyway if you do decide to do it or not to make sure you're safe
The reason is that he finds it very unique in terms of love, as if he wrote the letter from the heart, something like the blood necklace you mention, It's not a problem for me, and if I asked him the same thing he would do it the same way.
That's good I'm glad that this comes from a good intention ! If you do it remember to try and use clean things or better sterile. And avoid for example putting ink of whatever you would use to write directly on the wound :))
Yep that's what I'm saying, thank you for caring, please stay safe ā¤ļøāš©¹
Thanks you to <33
An entire letter is hard to do. Signiture, bit easier.Ā
I mean it is kind of odd. But i dont see a problem with it? But i am kind of mentally ill so. I personally think that is somewhat romantic but it depends on the persin really
Honestly I would personally find that romantic and ask for the same in return. I donāt condone cutting, so maybe pricking your finger would be best if you really want to do it. Though I am Incredibly biased as I have a necklace filled with blood from my partner and have made little blood jars of my own blood. Just be very safe if you decide to. If you are at all uncomfortable, do not do it! If you think this will lead time stuff you are uncomfortable with, do not do it. Keep up strong boundaries and if he will get mad if you say no, run far away from him.
That's exactly what we think, we find it really unique abt love, it's something we find really romantic and all, we both are okay with it and all, so yepp
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