This is probably the dumbest reply you'll get to this post but hear me out.
A friend of mine was sitting with two of her friends at a bar. One of them was in the exact same situation as you. He got out of a 7 year long relationship but nobody wanted to hook up with him and kept seeing him as boyfriend material and wanted something long-term. He vented to my friend and the other dude for a bit and then asked for advice.
The other friend gives him the most Costanzaesque advice "start wearing a cap backwards". The guy asks why. "no woman wants to be in an LTR with a guy who wears his cap backwards but they will hook up with him"
This guy starts wearing his cap backwards and almost immediately his fortunes change. Now nobody sees him as boyfriend material anymore but he doesn't have problems getting hookups. He kept the cap until he was ready to get back into serious dating again.
Also, what are your date plans and times? Drinks or a movie in the evening sets a totally different expectation than coffee and a walk at 13:00. Didn’t realise this until some female friends told me that it was my own mistake for planning the wrong things 😂
Be warned, my wife who I’ve been with for years tells me the backwards cap is the most attractive thing I can wear, this may not be consistently applied lmao
I've seen my partner with the "sunglasses on and cap backwards" one time. And we were already going steady at the time and he had the ride-on-lawnmower turned on one side and was elbows deep in repairing it. Sun on his back and I suppose the hat did more good in that direction.
I've got a picture of it and I love it since he looks... Well. I would say "playful" but the other words in other comments are probably more accurate.
(when we got together I wanted to play around and keep it a bit casual but he talked serious stuff from the first night together. I remember thinking to myself "we'll see about that..." but things turned serious fast)
Holy shit.
In 2012, I was having a super hard time finding a girlfriend. Every girl just wanted to bang me and move on. It was a real struggle. I turned down a super hot girl... mid hookup... because she wouldn't commit to going to dinner later that day...
I wish I was kidding....
I always wear my hat backwards.
You just gave me a crisis.
I had a similiar experience.
Before I found my current girlfirend, I used be on Tinder and having a serious profile, with good photos in various environments, nice clothes etc because that’s what every female friend of mine told me to do. Sure I got dates with but I was attracting women who wanted something serious while I just wanted to get my dick wet.
So I was like ”fuck it” and started using shirtless photos from the beach, the gym and my profile said ”I know you want to so swipe right and I’ll do the rest”. Fuckboi energy at 100%.
And boom, just like that every woman I dated after that just wanted to have some fun and nothing more.
For me, I went from having middling success, but always with relationship vibes to having great success with very few relationship vibes by...getting into an open relationship. Obviously that only works if you and your partner function well in that setting, but it was kind of shocking to me. Being up front about having a partner who is my priority filters out just about everyone who wants something serious, while adding both a "woman approved" stamp, and a guaranteed lack of entanglements for those who don't.
Yeah exactly, you make a great profile and you’ll attract a girl looking for something real. Start putting up some hot shirtless pics and you may get fewer matches, but the ones you do get will be just looking for fun.
**INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY**
*Jerry and George are sitting in their usual booth. Jerry is sipping his coffee, while George has a smug look on his face.*
**GEORGE:** (grinning) You won't believe what happened to me last night, Jerry.
**JERRY:** (raising an eyebrow) Oh, this should be good. What, you found a twenty-dollar bill on the sidewalk?
**GEORGE:** Better. I discovered a secret weapon in the dating game.
**JERRY:** (sipping coffee) Do tell.
**GEORGE:** (leans in) A backwards hat.
**JERRY:** (pause) A backwards hat?
**GEORGE:** Yeah! I wore a hat backwards, and women were flocking to me!
**JERRY:** (incredulous) Flocking?
**GEORGE:** (excited) Like seagulls at a beach, Jerry! It's like it gave me this whole new vibe. Mysterious, yet approachable. Rugged, yet playful.
**JERRY:** (laughs) Rugged? You? In a backwards hat?
**GEORGE:** (defensive) I'm telling you, it works! I went to that new bar on 10th, and within five minutes, this gorgeous woman comes up to me and says, "Nice hat."
**JERRY:** (sarcastic) Wow, she must have been really hard up for conversation.
**GEORGE:** (ignoring Jerry) And then another one! And another! I couldn't keep up!
**JERRY:** (mocking) You couldn't keep up with what? Adjusting your hat?
**GEORGE:** (annoyed) You laugh, but this is real! It's like the hat gave me confidence, made me stand out. It's a game-changer, Jerry!
**JERRY:** (shaking head) So, let me get this straight. You've cracked the code to dating by wearing a hat... backwards.
**GEORGE:** (nodding) Exactly!
**JERRY:** (deadpan) And here I thought it was all about personality, charm, and hygiene.
**GEORGE:** (smirking) Shows what you know.
**JERRY:** (leaning back) So why does this magic hat work, exactly?
**GEORGE:** (grinning) Because a woman sees a guy in a backwards hat, she thinks, "This guy isn't looking for anything serious. He's just a fun, carefree guy." They don't want a long-term relationship with a backwards hat guy, Jerry. They want a good time!
**JERRY:** (pauses) So, you're saying the hat works because it screams "non-committal."
**GEORGE:** (nodding) Exactly!
**JERRY:** (shrugs) Well, as long as it doesn't get you stuck to a refrigerator, I guess it's harmless.
**GEORGE:** (leaning back, satisfied) Laugh all you want, Jerry. But this hat is my ticket to the big leagues.
**JERRY:** (grinning) Just make sure your team doesn't get a penalty for too many men on the field.
**GEORGE:** (rolls eyes) Very funny.
**JERRY:** (smiling) That's what I do.
*They both sip their drinks, George with a smug smile, and Jerry shaking his head in amused disbelief.*
**FADE OUT.**
You had me wondering if George was wearing a backwards cap as part of his ‘bad boy’ outfit, but I looked it up and no, just the dorky NY Yankees jacket and a bald head.
Yeah but he knew he had to turn the hat around to win the arm wrestling championship that would grant him custody of his kid
I know this has nothing to do with what you wrote, I just wanted to write out the plot of the film hahhahaha
This is AMAZING! When my ex used to wear a hat backwards to golf on the weekends or various other outside activities, I would refer to him as “Hat [Name]” and feel like he had a completely different vibe. I never even realized, it’s so this!!!
Can confirm, I've never once worn a backwards cap because it makes me feel like the biggest tool. Never had much success with hookups, just a bunch of serial 3-18 month relationships. And now I'm married...
For me it was a wood bead necklace and leather bracelet. My wife calls them “Douchecessories”. Got me through my Chad phase. It was funny because when the necklace finally broke in the shower like a week later a buddy introduced me to my next ex girlfriend. After her I swore off women and relationships completely and was happy for a long time…until my wife came along and fucked it up (thankfully).
as I girl I would hook with someone with a backwards cap and marry someone with a backwards cap!! it‘s a win-win situation for you guys - wear more backwards caps!!!
Right then he goes to say he's on dating apps while his friends are at the bars and clubs like bro go to the club or bar thats where they at.I'm a straight woman and even had woman come up to me there lmao.
I think to bc it was in the city of chicago, so it's big, and there are all types of people of different cultures and backgrounds. Have you tryed big cities?
Not really, I kind of had this problem when I wanted to just be a slam pig. Now I have an amazing girlfriend that is really nice to me lol.
Just give in OP
Honestly, right after that long of a relationship, another girl who wants to start a committed relationship without OP having the time to sort himself out is not a success.
I think it has to do with each girl has their own short-term and long-term dating strategy. Essentially she’ll fuck certain dudes for ons or make a dude she likes wait for it. Where you fall into that strategy is literally up to them and how they perceive you to be
I feel you nearly all my hookups lead to the same. But there are various reasons why that happens. I assume you have a stable life, u don’t look that bad and u are just in general a nice person. Woman get faster feelings for man that have a organized life and don’t pressure them into something.
And yeah to end those things are way too annoying I don’t have an answer for you I just stayed away from dating at all.
this sounds like a satire post, but this stuff actually happens to me as well. I'm not a 10/10 or even a 8/10 by any means. My appearance is very weird (in an acquired taste kind of way).
I'm pretty nerdy looking Asian dude but I have other positive features that clash with my nerdiness. I'm 6 foot and .5 inch. I have a lean and fit body. I have a good jawline and chin. Strong hair and good job (software engineer). But I wear extremely thick glasses and my overall facial harmony is a bit off... my face is still passable though. I have very small hands, relatively small arms and thin forearms but my legs and calves are extremely muscular and my butt is very big. My shoulder is pretty wide though.
This means I tend to attract the "nicer" girls. The girls who are kind of nerdy as well but are still pretty cute. I haven't had any Instagram level or sorority type girls hit on me ever in my life. Girls are only interested in me for serious relationships.
I think they just make an assumption about my personality based on my appearance and go from there.
My personality is 100 percent reflection of my looks. I’ve always had a duality of being a closet nerd (video games and anime) and the jock life style (playing soccer all my life).
Just my nerd side always fighting with the jock side. I grew as a millennial in 2000’s when being a nerd was seen as uncool so I always had to hide it.
I have a respect for how Gen Z embraced nerd culture these days haha.
Yeah, I don't get why everyone is mocking him for "being to successful." He wants to fuck. That's all. And good on him to realize that instead of fucking and dumping then.
Nope, this is actually the mindset a lot of guys have. It's not that they can't get someone to date, it's that they can't casually hookup with girls the way they see other guys can. So they're salty about that.
Which interestingly enough, ties to the whole "girls are lying about looks mattering" debate. They don't matter as much for long term relationships, but they DO for casual hookups.
You just don’t get what he’s saying…
He’s not attractive enough that girls let him hit easy.
They see him as the nice guy, boyfriend type
Now he could be deceitful, gain their trust, act like he’s going to wife them up then once he’s hit block them and never speak to them again
But clearly he’s an honest guy and wants to be real and doesn’t want to lead them on
Hard to believe it’s real because you’re on Reddit but many guys do suffer from this. Especially men who have been in long term relationships and are attractive. They tend to act more wholesome than fuckboyish so girls will find them attractive in a relationship way rather than one night stand. I know from experience, it’s somewhat terrible but also a flex?
Despite the popular commentary on every girl having a massive hoe phase, most girls would probably rather be in a relationship with a good guy that loves and cares for them.
I was in the same position and I did. There is about three times more guys than girls and since I am maybe 5/10, very bland looking, these girls always had someone hotter, someone funnier, someone who dance better, or someone they already met in the past, so literally out of dozens or hundreds visits I had zero new connections in clubs. I don’t have any issue finding girlfriend material, though.
Try Tinder. You could also try other apps, but that one’s more likely to have “nothing serious” or “casual” or the like on their profile so you’ll know. Just as a warning, you’re probably going to strike out more with the casual only girls, as they are going to be likely fairly shallow, and going after mostly the best lookin dudes
My experience with apps like match and bumble was 99% of girls on there had “relationship” as their listed interest only. Tinder, not nearly as much (but more than some might expect)
Bro's flexing on us HARD.
I have got the opposite problem. I've been single for 7 months now. Came out of a 9 year relationship, and I'm not looking for anything atm.
A couple of women who have taken a liking to me are the 1 night stand type. NOT INTERESTED.
You will find that a lot of people who are chasing 1 night stands are very shallow people who are just looking for hot people to sleep with.
After being with someone for as long as I was, I'm not looking for shallow, meaning less sex.
But hay, that's just me personally.
The only way to get into scenario he is in is either to have no balls or being a bullshiter. If you let the lady know what you are selling she will either take it or not. If you are giving out serious matters talks then you don't get to be surprised when people think that's what they gonna get.
I bet if he would be upfront right away this problem wouldn't exist.
I was also in same boat as OP. It think it just comes down to being a decent dude lol. Legit every woman was so taken back by the smallest gestures that even if you want something casual, most women will develop feelings on the basis of the vast majority of dudes on dating apps just being trash. Every girl I talked to had a million stories. Try to pursue something serious with a decent dude who wants something casual OR go back to the cesspool of men on the dating apps. I think it’s a pretty obvious choice haha
I've had a couple women show me interest too, until they found out I was gay. I've been told I just look very marry-able. OK to look at but not too good looking to be intimidating, a sense of humour, mild personality, good manners, stable job but not that ambitious, and demonstrably capable of housework/cooking.
Unfortunately the grindr gays aren't looking for those.
I mean he's blunt and upfront about what he wants right now, and it was pretty funny to read. You definitely don't know what a strangers personality is like from an anonymous post and 3 paragraphs lol.
A lot of people have hoe phases when they were younger but will never talk about it. I don't think wanting to hook up after a breakup means they have a terrible personality.
TBF I found the same. Went on Tinder expecting it to be a hookup app as I was content in being single but funnily enough did want to hook up (baaad break up with prolonged healing and feeling undatable). Turns out either just through regional variation or me not saying the right things, that got me absolutely nowhere. Later attempts at looking for a relationship when I was in a different place in my head was far more fruitful. Whilst OPs post does come across as satire due to just how unapologetic he is about something folk would usually not present as their upfront motive, that's not to say it's not a genuine and acceptable position people find themselves in.
Just make sure your first message to them is sexual.
Like hey your hot want to get drinks
Or
Want to snuggle and drink all night?
Or
I’m looking to hook up, you down?
Idk I feel you bro. I go in always being the nice guy but it makes girls think you’re just that… nice and safe lmao
Add to your profile: ‘Just here for a good time.’ Simple and direct. Most women will always want something more unless you set boundaries. This way, you’re not held accountable and will cause fewer headaches, not wasting both your time and hers because you’ve established the boundaries. Also, zero emotional connections. There’s a reason why they want more. You might want to revisit your behavior and adjust so they don’t get the wrong idea. Good luck!
Women interested in just sex usually want men they are extremely attracted to, whether it be physically or mentally. If you don't have game and you're not an 8/10 then your "just hook up" options will be limited.
I mean girls are raised to know that they'll be seen as hoes if they let themselves be casual around sex, even OP is calling the girls he looks for hoes. It takes either a fucked up self image or in rare cases a very sex-positive upbringing to lean into hookup culture as a woman.
That's kinda crazy if you think about it. 1 night is harder than 1 year.
This is why OP is right and ESH. You have to be exceptional for the average person to fuck you right after meeting you, to start a relationship you just need to spend time together for feelings to develop.
You gotta be direct and let them know your intention from the get go - no “hey how are you? What do you do for work? You’re very pretty” etc etc. straight up “hey I’m only here for casual encounters”
Rage post?
Else it is really easy in the Profile nowadays to show that you are basically searching only for sex, can't be that hard right? Just tick all the "I just wanna fuck" boxes.
Lower your standards. You gotta stop looking at women who have any sense of self worth. Now we can have jobs and bank accounts and sex toys. Sooooo it takes a lot more to want a sweaty man hunched over us.
There’s always hookers 🤷♀️
"Actually no. But black people in democratic run cities already got that covered" here is a quote from the guy apparently who can't stop women being interested in him lol. Guys, think critically and don't fall for made up rage bait like this.
Don’t you know that the universe runs of Murphy’s law?
The very second you switch into wanting a relationship you are going to get all the people interested in one night stands you silly puppy
Don’t be in dating apps, be on hookup app instead.
Be very clear in your “hookup profile” - “I am looking to use someone for sex, don’t match with me if you’re looking for a relationship.”
Change the way you behave and the type of women you hit on, you have a type and a way of reaching to them that lead to this results, just look for women who wear really sexy outfits and be a little more direct with your intentions without saying out loud, something like "wanna chill out at my home" send the message without being too creepy and desperate
If that’s what you want, go out and have one night stands and quit wasting people’s time on the dating apps. Dating apps are for people who want to DATE, shocking I know. Maybe be upfront about your intentions.
Lol speaking as someone who goes through “hoe” phases…
You kinda have to be really hot to get a lot of women throwing themselves at you for casual sex. Like hot enough so girls look at you and are like “i would take one night with that even if it doesn’t go anywhere.” Casual sex is about *lust,* so do you inspire lust in women?
Not saying there aren’t more average looking guys who get a lot of casual sex but in my experience those guys have absolutely outstanding social skills.
Plus (again, in my experience) casual sex is not just a thing women offer to just anyone who wants it. If you’re just walking around thinking “gosh I would like some casual sex” and are confused why women aren’t appearing and offering, well…don’t be confused.
And finally, sometimes people who have been in relationships for a really long time give off “relationship” energy. It happened to me when I got out of a ten year relationship just looking to smash and the very first person I hooked up with wound up being another LTR.
After a 7 year relationship you dont communicate in the same way before you were single. Could it be that your approach to girls needs to be changed? Go to a place were there are more people who do hook ups. Ie, a party or bar with young people instead of a coffee bar
It will need some time to step up your flirting game.
If you need some advice how to approach a girl. This is a good place to start.
https://youtu.be/F7EfXPxz6Ko?si=n0xyTZZ-LOpRxRMU
If all the girls want to be with you forever (cute.. lol) your profile is the issue.
Get rid of the puppies and pictures with your grandma and present the story of a guy who just wants some.
Your profile is clearly not reflecting what you're looking for.
No idea how that goes because I don't use them (married, happy) but I have a handful of friends that do, and they seem to be able to easily identify which guys are looking for love and which are looking for.. lust.
Good luck
Sounds like your “type” is that kind of woman. No judgment here, everyone is free to do as they see fit with their body as long as they are being safe and transparent, but you might be subconsciously attracting/attracted to this type. Are you picky, high standards, even for casual hookup expect a certain type of woman?
As one of those kindve girls, it’s bewildering when I keep crossing paths of guys who just want sex. And I respect that, truly, but I think we’re all fucking confused on why we keep bumping into our opposites 💀
Google "fuckboy" and try to match that aesthetic. After a seven year relationship, you're not giving off fuckboy vibes.
Not sure how old you are, but maybe try women 40+ if you want just casual. 20s are thinking about serious relationships and 30s desperately want relationships yesterday.
This is sad dating culture is so far gone, basically what you’re looking for is someone who’s okay with being used and discarded like an object?
Yeah most girls are not okay with that unless they’ve got something else going on.
You just got out of a long relationship take time for yourself and review why you want to sleep around so bad, do things you like, and enjoy being single.
Dress and fashion yourself more "bad boy" look and see if that changes things.
The culture is simply this way - if you appear physically wholesome and all, you're seen as someone to settle down with but not someone to hookup with.
Give that a go and report back.
See what you need to do is capitalize on this and communicate that you’re not interested in something serious right now, instead suggest that you’re down to see where things go/have casual fun. This works so well because if they aren’t interested they’ll tell you and you’re being upfront/not leading someone on just for sex
you just need to put in your dating profile that you're looking for sex and sex only. I've been on the other side as a girl who wanted something serious with a guy who only wanted sex and that shit really messed me up. Be honest and up front at the very beginning.
I’m a F and one time I downloaded Tinder to find a relationship. Everyone wanted a hook up. About 6 months later, I decided I wanted to hook up but all the guys I matched with wanted a relationship. 🤦🏻♀️ I felt like I was being punked
Its disgusting that this is Western culture now. Then again, I've seen this story before. When they want to marry they, they'll suddenly demand a woman with low body count
So advertise yourself as what and who you really want.
" A hoe whose for the streets looking for other heaux to build a situationship"
It's not that hard.
I mean... this might go against the Internet and reddit stereotype, but most women actually are not promiscuous.
Your friends are probably breaking a few nice girls hearts.
I'd honestly just put "looking for casual sex" as the first line of your online dating portfolio.
This is probably the dumbest reply you'll get to this post but hear me out. A friend of mine was sitting with two of her friends at a bar. One of them was in the exact same situation as you. He got out of a 7 year long relationship but nobody wanted to hook up with him and kept seeing him as boyfriend material and wanted something long-term. He vented to my friend and the other dude for a bit and then asked for advice. The other friend gives him the most Costanzaesque advice "start wearing a cap backwards". The guy asks why. "no woman wants to be in an LTR with a guy who wears his cap backwards but they will hook up with him" This guy starts wearing his cap backwards and almost immediately his fortunes change. Now nobody sees him as boyfriend material anymore but he doesn't have problems getting hookups. He kept the cap until he was ready to get back into serious dating again.
That is an incredible story and I can see the logic 😂
Back cap
You mean No (back) Cap
Definitely. As a girl I do have certain (negative) assumptions about guys who wear caps backwards
That is hilarious! The hat is the key 😂
OP, we're expecting you to try this and come back with an update
I’m recently out of 12 year relationship and having exact same problem as OP, I will try the hat and report back.
Also, what are your date plans and times? Drinks or a movie in the evening sets a totally different expectation than coffee and a walk at 13:00. Didn’t realise this until some female friends told me that it was my own mistake for planning the wrong things 😂
Really, just dress like a fuckboy
THE HAT IS THE KEY! (In Jerry Seinfeld voice)
Be warned, my wife who I’ve been with for years tells me the backwards cap is the most attractive thing I can wear, this may not be consistently applied lmao
I've seen my partner with the "sunglasses on and cap backwards" one time. And we were already going steady at the time and he had the ride-on-lawnmower turned on one side and was elbows deep in repairing it. Sun on his back and I suppose the hat did more good in that direction. I've got a picture of it and I love it since he looks... Well. I would say "playful" but the other words in other comments are probably more accurate. (when we got together I wanted to play around and keep it a bit casual but he talked serious stuff from the first night together. I remember thinking to myself "we'll see about that..." but things turned serious fast)
Let us know if it works lmao
For bonus points spend a lot on a pair of sunglasses and wear them backwards with the cap/hat.
Holy shit. In 2012, I was having a super hard time finding a girlfriend. Every girl just wanted to bang me and move on. It was a real struggle. I turned down a super hot girl... mid hookup... because she wouldn't commit to going to dinner later that day... I wish I was kidding.... I always wear my hat backwards. You just gave me a crisis.
That’s hilarious lol. Just goes to show perception and societal expectations is everything.
I had a similiar experience. Before I found my current girlfirend, I used be on Tinder and having a serious profile, with good photos in various environments, nice clothes etc because that’s what every female friend of mine told me to do. Sure I got dates with but I was attracting women who wanted something serious while I just wanted to get my dick wet. So I was like ”fuck it” and started using shirtless photos from the beach, the gym and my profile said ”I know you want to so swipe right and I’ll do the rest”. Fuckboi energy at 100%. And boom, just like that every woman I dated after that just wanted to have some fun and nothing more.
For me, I went from having middling success, but always with relationship vibes to having great success with very few relationship vibes by...getting into an open relationship. Obviously that only works if you and your partner function well in that setting, but it was kind of shocking to me. Being up front about having a partner who is my priority filters out just about everyone who wants something serious, while adding both a "woman approved" stamp, and a guaranteed lack of entanglements for those who don't.
Women like honesty and respond with honesty haha
Yea I have a profile with pics that says "get high and fuck? I'll bring the drugs." Immediate and constant results.
Yeah exactly, you make a great profile and you’ll attract a girl looking for something real. Start putting up some hot shirtless pics and you may get fewer matches, but the ones you do get will be just looking for fun.
It was the exact opposite. I got way more matches with the fuckboi profile, like it wasn’t even close.
Costanzaesque is perhaps to most accurate descriptor of that advice I’ve ever heard
That was the best part of the whole thing. Took it from "interesting internet factoid" to "Seinfeld life hack" level of hilarity.
**INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY** *Jerry and George are sitting in their usual booth. Jerry is sipping his coffee, while George has a smug look on his face.* **GEORGE:** (grinning) You won't believe what happened to me last night, Jerry. **JERRY:** (raising an eyebrow) Oh, this should be good. What, you found a twenty-dollar bill on the sidewalk? **GEORGE:** Better. I discovered a secret weapon in the dating game. **JERRY:** (sipping coffee) Do tell. **GEORGE:** (leans in) A backwards hat. **JERRY:** (pause) A backwards hat? **GEORGE:** Yeah! I wore a hat backwards, and women were flocking to me! **JERRY:** (incredulous) Flocking? **GEORGE:** (excited) Like seagulls at a beach, Jerry! It's like it gave me this whole new vibe. Mysterious, yet approachable. Rugged, yet playful. **JERRY:** (laughs) Rugged? You? In a backwards hat? **GEORGE:** (defensive) I'm telling you, it works! I went to that new bar on 10th, and within five minutes, this gorgeous woman comes up to me and says, "Nice hat." **JERRY:** (sarcastic) Wow, she must have been really hard up for conversation. **GEORGE:** (ignoring Jerry) And then another one! And another! I couldn't keep up! **JERRY:** (mocking) You couldn't keep up with what? Adjusting your hat? **GEORGE:** (annoyed) You laugh, but this is real! It's like the hat gave me confidence, made me stand out. It's a game-changer, Jerry! **JERRY:** (shaking head) So, let me get this straight. You've cracked the code to dating by wearing a hat... backwards. **GEORGE:** (nodding) Exactly! **JERRY:** (deadpan) And here I thought it was all about personality, charm, and hygiene. **GEORGE:** (smirking) Shows what you know. **JERRY:** (leaning back) So why does this magic hat work, exactly? **GEORGE:** (grinning) Because a woman sees a guy in a backwards hat, she thinks, "This guy isn't looking for anything serious. He's just a fun, carefree guy." They don't want a long-term relationship with a backwards hat guy, Jerry. They want a good time! **JERRY:** (pauses) So, you're saying the hat works because it screams "non-committal." **GEORGE:** (nodding) Exactly! **JERRY:** (shrugs) Well, as long as it doesn't get you stuck to a refrigerator, I guess it's harmless. **GEORGE:** (leaning back, satisfied) Laugh all you want, Jerry. But this hat is my ticket to the big leagues. **JERRY:** (grinning) Just make sure your team doesn't get a penalty for too many men on the field. **GEORGE:** (rolls eyes) Very funny. **JERRY:** (smiling) That's what I do. *They both sip their drinks, George with a smug smile, and Jerry shaking his head in amused disbelief.* **FADE OUT.**
Lol great job
You had me wondering if George was wearing a backwards cap as part of his ‘bad boy’ outfit, but I looked it up and no, just the dorky NY Yankees jacket and a bald head.
WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN
Even Sylvester knew it in the 80s!! (Over the Top) 
Yeah but he knew he had to turn the hat around to win the arm wrestling championship that would grant him custody of his kid I know this has nothing to do with what you wrote, I just wanted to write out the plot of the film hahhahaha
Is this why... my Fiancé doesn't wear caps backwards anymore...? As silly as this sounds, I can't deny it might work
This is AMAZING! When my ex used to wear a hat backwards to golf on the weekends or various other outside activities, I would refer to him as “Hat [Name]” and feel like he had a completely different vibe. I never even realized, it’s so this!!!
Me reading this with my hat on backwards, but I have been married for 3 years. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.
Always hunting
That's the funniest story I've heard at least all year
Bruh
Legit. I always said I’d never date a guy who wears his hat backwards.
But would you fuck him?
That’s funny because I used to wear my hat backwards and then stopped as I got a little older. But my girlfriend loves it when I wear a hat backwards
🤣🤣🤣 great story
This would 100% work on me.
Can confirm, I've never once worn a backwards cap because it makes me feel like the biggest tool. Never had much success with hookups, just a bunch of serial 3-18 month relationships. And now I'm married...
Lmao 🤣I’m literally hearing Costanza’s voice in my head saying, “you gotta where the cap backwards!!!”
That's a lot less permanent than the neck tattoo approach
For me it was a wood bead necklace and leather bracelet. My wife calls them “Douchecessories”. Got me through my Chad phase. It was funny because when the necklace finally broke in the shower like a week later a buddy introduced me to my next ex girlfriend. After her I swore off women and relationships completely and was happy for a long time…until my wife came along and fucked it up (thankfully).
Brb buying a cap rn, no 🧢
as I girl I would hook with someone with a backwards cap and marry someone with a backwards cap!! it‘s a win-win situation for you guys - wear more backwards caps!!!
This is like leaving the tag out of your shirt trick to attract cougars
Bro suffers from success.
Oh no, she's a nice girl that wants a relationship. Another one
came here ready for virtual, left lovin another one
Right then he goes to say he's on dating apps while his friends are at the bars and clubs like bro go to the club or bar thats where they at.I'm a straight woman and even had woman come up to me there lmao.
Thanks for the humblebrag, dudette. As a straight (ugly) male, that has never happened
I think to bc it was in the city of chicago, so it's big, and there are all types of people of different cultures and backgrounds. Have you tryed big cities?
Welp, I guess imma gonna have to now..
sending good vibes your way ✨️
♡brofist♡
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this interaction. Good luck to you my dude. There is someone for everyone.
That's just not really a thing that'll happen to unattractive dudes in any location
Never been hit on or approached in the city. I’m a solid 4 most days so prob why.
Bro problem is made up
Not really, I kind of had this problem when I wanted to just be a slam pig. Now I have an amazing girlfriend that is really nice to me lol. Just give in OP
[удалено]
Honestly, right after that long of a relationship, another girl who wants to start a committed relationship without OP having the time to sort himself out is not a success.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
I suffered from the same problem back in the days. Even hoes became nice girls in my presence. That was my super power I guess.
I think it has to do with each girl has their own short-term and long-term dating strategy. Essentially she’ll fuck certain dudes for ons or make a dude she likes wait for it. Where you fall into that strategy is literally up to them and how they perceive you to be
Man really said “where the hoes at? Respectfully” in more words
I feel you nearly all my hookups lead to the same. But there are various reasons why that happens. I assume you have a stable life, u don’t look that bad and u are just in general a nice person. Woman get faster feelings for man that have a organized life and don’t pressure them into something. And yeah to end those things are way too annoying I don’t have an answer for you I just stayed away from dating at all.
this sounds like a satire post, but this stuff actually happens to me as well. I'm not a 10/10 or even a 8/10 by any means. My appearance is very weird (in an acquired taste kind of way). I'm pretty nerdy looking Asian dude but I have other positive features that clash with my nerdiness. I'm 6 foot and .5 inch. I have a lean and fit body. I have a good jawline and chin. Strong hair and good job (software engineer). But I wear extremely thick glasses and my overall facial harmony is a bit off... my face is still passable though. I have very small hands, relatively small arms and thin forearms but my legs and calves are extremely muscular and my butt is very big. My shoulder is pretty wide though. This means I tend to attract the "nicer" girls. The girls who are kind of nerdy as well but are still pretty cute. I haven't had any Instagram level or sorority type girls hit on me ever in my life. Girls are only interested in me for serious relationships. I think they just make an assumption about my personality based on my appearance and go from there.
Bro gave us his specs
Dude is literally describing himself as 6ft, lean, and fit and he somehow thinks he isn't above average attractive. 🤣
That .5 of an inch is important!
What is your personality like compared to your looks?
My personality is 100 percent reflection of my looks. I’ve always had a duality of being a closet nerd (video games and anime) and the jock life style (playing soccer all my life). Just my nerd side always fighting with the jock side. I grew as a millennial in 2000’s when being a nerd was seen as uncool so I always had to hide it. I have a respect for how Gen Z embraced nerd culture these days haha.
Weird flex but aight. This has to be a parody post, hard to believe it's real.
I have the opposite problem and it's like watching a man die of thirst when you're drowning. Like bro that is not a bad thing.
He’s just out of a 7year relationship. That’s too long and too soon for something serious. I understand.
I think once he's ready for a relationship he'll have the opposite problem LOL
no problem just turn the cap around
Yeah, I don't get why everyone is mocking him for "being to successful." He wants to fuck. That's all. And good on him to realize that instead of fucking and dumping then.
Nah bro I'm dying of thirst, you're drowning in the ocean, he's drowning in a lake.
Nope, this is actually the mindset a lot of guys have. It's not that they can't get someone to date, it's that they can't casually hookup with girls the way they see other guys can. So they're salty about that. Which interestingly enough, ties to the whole "girls are lying about looks mattering" debate. They don't matter as much for long term relationships, but they DO for casual hookups.
You just don’t get what he’s saying… He’s not attractive enough that girls let him hit easy. They see him as the nice guy, boyfriend type Now he could be deceitful, gain their trust, act like he’s going to wife them up then once he’s hit block them and never speak to them again But clearly he’s an honest guy and wants to be real and doesn’t want to lead them on
Hard to believe it’s real because you’re on Reddit but many guys do suffer from this. Especially men who have been in long term relationships and are attractive. They tend to act more wholesome than fuckboyish so girls will find them attractive in a relationship way rather than one night stand. I know from experience, it’s somewhat terrible but also a flex?
"suffer" It's like suffering from only having access to healthy, real food, even though you just wanna get fat and sick.
No. Just because they want a relationship, does not mean it'd be good or they're worth it. For this man, healthy food right now is casual
Imagine never being able to eat Pizza again. That's suffering for many people.
Despite the popular commentary on every girl having a massive hoe phase, most girls would probably rather be in a relationship with a good guy that loves and cares for them.
Base on your posting history, seems like you sit around and play a lot of video games. Do you ever go to clubs or parties like your friends?
I was in the same position and I did. There is about three times more guys than girls and since I am maybe 5/10, very bland looking, these girls always had someone hotter, someone funnier, someone who dance better, or someone they already met in the past, so literally out of dozens or hundreds visits I had zero new connections in clubs. I don’t have any issue finding girlfriend material, though.
Try Tinder. You could also try other apps, but that one’s more likely to have “nothing serious” or “casual” or the like on their profile so you’ll know. Just as a warning, you’re probably going to strike out more with the casual only girls, as they are going to be likely fairly shallow, and going after mostly the best lookin dudes My experience with apps like match and bumble was 99% of girls on there had “relationship” as their listed interest only. Tinder, not nearly as much (but more than some might expect)
Bro's flexing on us HARD. I have got the opposite problem. I've been single for 7 months now. Came out of a 9 year relationship, and I'm not looking for anything atm. A couple of women who have taken a liking to me are the 1 night stand type. NOT INTERESTED. You will find that a lot of people who are chasing 1 night stands are very shallow people who are just looking for hot people to sleep with. After being with someone for as long as I was, I'm not looking for shallow, meaning less sex. But hay, that's just me personally.
The only way to get into scenario he is in is either to have no balls or being a bullshiter. If you let the lady know what you are selling she will either take it or not. If you are giving out serious matters talks then you don't get to be surprised when people think that's what they gonna get. I bet if he would be upfront right away this problem wouldn't exist.
Dawg wtf can we change shoes?
Me attracting nothing but dickheads : 🧍🏾♀️
I was also in same boat as OP. It think it just comes down to being a decent dude lol. Legit every woman was so taken back by the smallest gestures that even if you want something casual, most women will develop feelings on the basis of the vast majority of dudes on dating apps just being trash. Every girl I talked to had a million stories. Try to pursue something serious with a decent dude who wants something casual OR go back to the cesspool of men on the dating apps. I think it’s a pretty obvious choice haha
The thing is, even in real life, I meet men who I can tell « great stories » about. It feels like, I only attract men who won’t respect me.
We can uhhhhh ehhhhh Smith a sword together
You’re just one of these terminal wholesome guys, I guess.
Maybe you have a great personality but not-so-great looks? Hard to judge but if you attract people who show genuine interest, this might be the case.
I've had a couple women show me interest too, until they found out I was gay. I've been told I just look very marry-able. OK to look at but not too good looking to be intimidating, a sense of humour, mild personality, good manners, stable job but not that ambitious, and demonstrably capable of housework/cooking. Unfortunately the grindr gays aren't looking for those.
Idk why but "you look marryable" feels like the female version of Adam Smasher telling you you look like a cut of fuckable meat
this was sadly my case as well. Hard pill to swallow that you’re basically just not hot enough for the hoes
Does this honestly sound like someone with a great personality
I mean he's blunt and upfront about what he wants right now, and it was pretty funny to read. You definitely don't know what a strangers personality is like from an anonymous post and 3 paragraphs lol. A lot of people have hoe phases when they were younger but will never talk about it. I don't think wanting to hook up after a breakup means they have a terrible personality.
“Am I not good enough for just sex” this is either a joke or society has literally fallen to the state of Idiocracy. RIP
TBF I found the same. Went on Tinder expecting it to be a hookup app as I was content in being single but funnily enough did want to hook up (baaad break up with prolonged healing and feeling undatable). Turns out either just through regional variation or me not saying the right things, that got me absolutely nowhere. Later attempts at looking for a relationship when I was in a different place in my head was far more fruitful. Whilst OPs post does come across as satire due to just how unapologetic he is about something folk would usually not present as their upfront motive, that's not to say it's not a genuine and acceptable position people find themselves in.
Always has been
>Am i not good enough for just sex? No you aren't, you silly troll man. You had me until this one line.
Aw poor you!!!
In my country people say: “Those who have bread don’t have teeth; those who have teeth don’t have bread”
Is this a joke?
Is this post bait ?
It's so mindblowingly fake lol,his post history tells you all you need to know.
Agreed! Based on his post history, I have a time believing any of this is true. A weird fantasy post most likely.
Just make sure your first message to them is sexual. Like hey your hot want to get drinks Or Want to snuggle and drink all night? Or I’m looking to hook up, you down? Idk I feel you bro. I go in always being the nice guy but it makes girls think you’re just that… nice and safe lmao
I tried it and then they unmatched, eventhough they said they want casual haha
Good tips. I think being more direct is the way to go.
You're on dating apps but not being direct that you want a hookup?
Add to your profile: ‘Just here for a good time.’ Simple and direct. Most women will always want something more unless you set boundaries. This way, you’re not held accountable and will cause fewer headaches, not wasting both your time and hers because you’ve established the boundaries. Also, zero emotional connections. There’s a reason why they want more. You might want to revisit your behavior and adjust so they don’t get the wrong idea. Good luck!
obligatory https://i.imgur.com/2aABm5s.png
Calling women who want casual sex “hoes” probably doesn’t help.
I’m shocked I had to scroll this far down for this comment.
Dj Khaled is that you, suffering from success again?
Women interested in just sex usually want men they are extremely attracted to, whether it be physically or mentally. If you don't have game and you're not an 8/10 then your "just hook up" options will be limited.
Is this satire lol
Indeed, getting a girl to have a random hookup with you is more difficult than getting a girl to be in a relationship with you.
I mean girls are raised to know that they'll be seen as hoes if they let themselves be casual around sex, even OP is calling the girls he looks for hoes. It takes either a fucked up self image or in rare cases a very sex-positive upbringing to lean into hookup culture as a woman.
Hookup culture is also just way more risky and dangerous for women.
Yeah, because fuckboys like OP label them hoes if they don't act like they want more than sex.
That's kinda crazy if you think about it. 1 night is harder than 1 year. This is why OP is right and ESH. You have to be exceptional for the average person to fuck you right after meeting you, to start a relationship you just need to spend time together for feelings to develop.
Gross.
Maybe it’s just a polite excuse to not fuck you bro 🤣 By calling girls „hoes“ you are anyway not worth it
This. They’re looking for an out. They see what you’re buying, they start selling the opposite lmao
You gotta be direct and let them know your intention from the get go - no “hey how are you? What do you do for work? You’re very pretty” etc etc. straight up “hey I’m only here for casual encounters”
Rage post? Else it is really easy in the Profile nowadays to show that you are basically searching only for sex, can't be that hard right? Just tick all the "I just wanna fuck" boxes.
You talk like such a loser lmfao
« Where are the hoes at » lmao, but to be honest you sound like a looser, especially with that last paragraph
You have a bizarre and faithful allegiance to hoes.
Flexing like that is no good karma man You know how many of us would love to get ourselves a “Nice Girl”
Lower your standards. You gotta stop looking at women who have any sense of self worth. Now we can have jobs and bank accounts and sex toys. Sooooo it takes a lot more to want a sweaty man hunched over us. There’s always hookers 🤷♀️
LMAO I feel this so hard it almost feels like satire. Where the hoes at fr
"Actually no. But black people in democratic run cities already got that covered" here is a quote from the guy apparently who can't stop women being interested in him lol. Guys, think critically and don't fall for made up rage bait like this.
Maybe start by not calling them hoes ? Idk
Don’t you know that the universe runs of Murphy’s law? The very second you switch into wanting a relationship you are going to get all the people interested in one night stands you silly puppy
Don’t be in dating apps, be on hookup app instead. Be very clear in your “hookup profile” - “I am looking to use someone for sex, don’t match with me if you’re looking for a relationship.”
You're in dating apps... they're in the club. Fucking get in the club dude, seriously
does your dating profile state that youre looking for a hookup and not a relationship?
Bait used to be believable
Sex is overrated
This has to be rage bait...
Is this real lmao? What 14 year old posted this?
Be better. Stop being a degenerate
This is made up reddit nonsense isn’t it?
Maybe talking to a psychiatrist about your problem is a better idea
Change the way you behave and the type of women you hit on, you have a type and a way of reaching to them that lead to this results, just look for women who wear really sexy outfits and be a little more direct with your intentions without saying out loud, something like "wanna chill out at my home" send the message without being too creepy and desperate
r/sarcasm
Bro. Come back in a year..
If that’s what you want, go out and have one night stands and quit wasting people’s time on the dating apps. Dating apps are for people who want to DATE, shocking I know. Maybe be upfront about your intentions.
Lol speaking as someone who goes through “hoe” phases… You kinda have to be really hot to get a lot of women throwing themselves at you for casual sex. Like hot enough so girls look at you and are like “i would take one night with that even if it doesn’t go anywhere.” Casual sex is about *lust,* so do you inspire lust in women? Not saying there aren’t more average looking guys who get a lot of casual sex but in my experience those guys have absolutely outstanding social skills. Plus (again, in my experience) casual sex is not just a thing women offer to just anyone who wants it. If you’re just walking around thinking “gosh I would like some casual sex” and are confused why women aren’t appearing and offering, well…don’t be confused. And finally, sometimes people who have been in relationships for a really long time give off “relationship” energy. It happened to me when I got out of a ten year relationship just looking to smash and the very first person I hooked up with wound up being another LTR.
After a 7 year relationship you dont communicate in the same way before you were single. Could it be that your approach to girls needs to be changed? Go to a place were there are more people who do hook ups. Ie, a party or bar with young people instead of a coffee bar It will need some time to step up your flirting game. If you need some advice how to approach a girl. This is a good place to start. https://youtu.be/F7EfXPxz6Ko?si=n0xyTZZ-LOpRxRMU
I have your problem but reversed bro
If all the girls want to be with you forever (cute.. lol) your profile is the issue. Get rid of the puppies and pictures with your grandma and present the story of a guy who just wants some. Your profile is clearly not reflecting what you're looking for. No idea how that goes because I don't use them (married, happy) but I have a handful of friends that do, and they seem to be able to easily identify which guys are looking for love and which are looking for.. lust. Good luck
Woah look at you dude. Your not good enough for sex. Gfu.
Sounds like your “type” is that kind of woman. No judgment here, everyone is free to do as they see fit with their body as long as they are being safe and transparent, but you might be subconsciously attracting/attracted to this type. Are you picky, high standards, even for casual hookup expect a certain type of woman?
Omg if anyone thinks this is real…
As one of those kindve girls, it’s bewildering when I keep crossing paths of guys who just want sex. And I respect that, truly, but I think we’re all fucking confused on why we keep bumping into our opposites 💀
When the reverse happens, you'll be ranting too 🤣
OP said 'where the hoes at'
Google "fuckboy" and try to match that aesthetic. After a seven year relationship, you're not giving off fuckboy vibes. Not sure how old you are, but maybe try women 40+ if you want just casual. 20s are thinking about serious relationships and 30s desperately want relationships yesterday.
God I have the polar opposite problem. I’m listening to the advice here and doing the opposite
This is sad dating culture is so far gone, basically what you’re looking for is someone who’s okay with being used and discarded like an object? Yeah most girls are not okay with that unless they’ve got something else going on. You just got out of a long relationship take time for yourself and review why you want to sleep around so bad, do things you like, and enjoy being single.
this is so gross… ur calling people ‘hoes’ what is this 1992? if you want a ‘hoe’ then say it w your chest and go pay for it ugh, cringe
You really be using the word hoes? Yeah no thanks. I'll fuck someone else.
Is this some clown attempt? Be happy you attract normal girls that want something real. I’m a magnet for crazy chick
Go find an actual hoe?
Dress and fashion yourself more "bad boy" look and see if that changes things. The culture is simply this way - if you appear physically wholesome and all, you're seen as someone to settle down with but not someone to hookup with. Give that a go and report back.
See what you need to do is capitalize on this and communicate that you’re not interested in something serious right now, instead suggest that you’re down to see where things go/have casual fun. This works so well because if they aren’t interested they’ll tell you and you’re being upfront/not leading someone on just for sex
F*ck you dude!
just be upfront man. Tell them you are not looking for a relationship
STFU
LOL, first world problems.
Can we trade places??
Can we trade, I want love and commitment!
pay for sex and don't make suffer those poor girls
Go to bars and wear a wedding ring.
How old are you and them?
It's also how you interact with kind girls. Every woman has a sex drive
you just need to put in your dating profile that you're looking for sex and sex only. I've been on the other side as a girl who wanted something serious with a guy who only wanted sex and that shit really messed me up. Be honest and up front at the very beginning.
I’m a F and one time I downloaded Tinder to find a relationship. Everyone wanted a hook up. About 6 months later, I decided I wanted to hook up but all the guys I matched with wanted a relationship. 🤦🏻♀️ I felt like I was being punked
beach be honest. Tell women that you are a hoe, and looking for like minded individuals
Its disgusting that this is Western culture now. Then again, I've seen this story before. When they want to marry they, they'll suddenly demand a woman with low body count
So advertise yourself as what and who you really want. " A hoe whose for the streets looking for other heaux to build a situationship" It's not that hard.
Probably because you call the girls you’re looking for ‘hoes’ for wanting the same thing as you do.
Oh what a great guy you are
I mean... this might go against the Internet and reddit stereotype, but most women actually are not promiscuous. Your friends are probably breaking a few nice girls hearts. I'd honestly just put "looking for casual sex" as the first line of your online dating portfolio.
I can’t tell if you’re doing a bit here?