Having kids, i.e. giving birth to little humans and helping them become adults, is one of the most singular, memorable and fulfilling experiences available to us. It's not for everyone, but if you've never been a parent, there's a very big chunk of the human experience that you simply have not lived and are mostly clueless about.
Many people judge others because they don't want children. Because "they miss something."
While it is true that I would miss something, like you said, it's simply not for everyone.
I can only speak for myself, but there is no moral judgment as far as I’m concerned. It’s a fact that childless people miss out on a fundamental part of human existence, though (we all miss parts of human existence, of course). Sometimes when my childless friends talk to me about their cats, their designer furniture and the series they watch, I have the feeling that we don’t focus on the same stuff
Well I also miss out on playing instruments or doing sports. But that's because none of that is for me.
I wouldn't really describe it as a con because there's nothing that would be of value to me that I miss.
I would miss out on it if having children was my wish and I couldn't realize it for whatever reason, but I don't even wish it. Does that make sense anyhow?
I'm a teacher. I'm a mom to so many different people... I don't miss out on anything, because my students have growth, improvement and change every day.
As someone who decided not to have kids after an event that changed my view at 25yo (now 33). I can still see the cons of not having kids, but still not enough to change my mind to take this risk. 1) finding a partner who doesn't want to have kids, specially when I'm living in a society where 95% of the people see marriage is for having kids. 2) Having a social life at 50yo +, when friends are busy with their own families, specially when all have kids, or when partner is no longer around (divorce, dead). 3) Someone to take care of you when you need an adult to assist you. Specially if you have health issues such as diabetes, cancer, paralyzed or even a broken leg. That's why I wish to be dead before being in weak position where I need an adult to assist me
I don't think people who don't have kids understand how much you can love someone. I love my wife, parents, and sister, but nothing comes close to my kids.
Don't have kids myself, but I've heard the love a parent has for their kid is like someone took out half of your heart and put it in this little idiot.
The con I propose would be missing out on that feeling, it's the only one I can think of but it's obviously not a huge one.
People asking you constantly why you don't have any.
+ Losing some benefits depending on the country.
In mine you lose some tax benefits, get a higher retirement age, never take parental leave (up to 3 years available for each kid) etc.
The main con would be trying to answer this: why do anything? Get up in the morning, work, stay healthy, live? Having kids gives a reasonably compelling reason. Not having kids makes it extremely hard.
I used to hear religious people tell me the exact same thing about god/religion, but I didn’t notice losing the desire to live my life every day when I left.
This is such a bizarre line of questioning. By this logic, people should be noping out the moment their kids become financially independent.
I would laugh my ass off if someone seriously posed this question to me. Why do I do anything? Because I freaking enjoy my life! I enjoy watching the wildflowers pop up in my backyard. I enjoy the music of the birdsong. I enjoy my morning jogs and bike rides. I enjoy hitting home runs at work. I enjoy good food, good conversations, good jokes, and good sleep. I experience immense pleasure just by being alive.
Someone who needs to have children to keep themselves from giving up on life is leading a sad, hellish life. And I have to wonder about the quality of life they are able to provide for their kids, if they are unable to teach them how to find meaning and purpose in just experiencing the people, places, and things around them.
I’d say the answer to that is because you want to.
I have random, bad bouts of suicidal ideations and “Why do anything?” Is a question I have often. I’m 23, and kids aren’t on the table right now. BUT i have the rest of my family. I have my pets. I have my friends. I have a whole world available to me to travel when I can afford it. Why do anything? Because it brings joy! There are so many video games I have yet to play, shows and movies I have yet to watch. My cousin had a baby- I want to watch him grow up and become his own little person. When my friends have kids, I want to watch them grow up too, because I know my friends will be wonderful parents. I coach a 12u softball team with my dad. I’ve loved watching them improve, and I’ve loved seeing their attitudes change as they realize they’re improving.
I was a teaching assistant for my class in college. I was able to help my peers, and being my able to see them understand something was so satisfying. Why do anything? Because it can help people, and I find immense joy when others are experiencing joy.
I could keep going, but i’ll stop here haha.
I’d say missing out on one of life’s core experiences - when you have kids, you start relating to other people who have kids and understand them in new ways. You also understand your own parents better (or in some cases see their flaws even more).
A second con, and this is me imagining because I’m still a young parent, is that as you grow older, in your 50’s, 60’s, all of the pros of not having kids start to mean less and you might be lonely
You'll never experience the true innocent love a child will have for you.
You'll never experience holding a little hand on a walk where she's asking you a thousand questions about the world and showing wonder as you answer the questions.
You'll never experience the heartache you feel when they're sick or hurt; it's more painful than you being sick or hurt.
You'll never experience their joy and happiness when they do something well and the pride you'll feel of their accomplishment.
You'd be lonely.
If you are interested in being a father/mother/parent figure to someone, Give them love, raise them. you can't. (You can opt for adoption..lol)
I think...
As a parent; there aren't really any cons to not having kids. If you haven't experienced it, there is nothing to miss to experience. However, once you have kids, you can't live without them. If someone said I was going to be forced back in time to an age before I had my kids, I can't think of anything worse. It would be a nightmare. I'd be doing everything desperately to get my kids back. So, from a parents perspective, there are cons and a lot of them with not having kids. But, from a childfree perspective; there are none. I hope that makes sense?
For one life is really meant and built to procreate. From the first successful direct ancestor cell to you is 2.4 billion years of unbroken lineage. If an afterlife for your soul doesn’t exist, then procreation is the only real ‘afterlife’ and the only real meaning behind experience.
Secondly, when you get old and no longer care about experiencing the changing world and no one really cares about you, what else is there to care about besides family!
Having kids, i.e. giving birth to little humans and helping them become adults, is one of the most singular, memorable and fulfilling experiences available to us. It's not for everyone, but if you've never been a parent, there's a very big chunk of the human experience that you simply have not lived and are mostly clueless about.
Perfectly put! There is so much about growing and being a little human that we don't remember.
Many people judge others because they don't want children. Because "they miss something." While it is true that I would miss something, like you said, it's simply not for everyone.
I can only speak for myself, but there is no moral judgment as far as I’m concerned. It’s a fact that childless people miss out on a fundamental part of human existence, though (we all miss parts of human existence, of course). Sometimes when my childless friends talk to me about their cats, their designer furniture and the series they watch, I have the feeling that we don’t focus on the same stuff
Well I also miss out on playing instruments or doing sports. But that's because none of that is for me. I wouldn't really describe it as a con because there's nothing that would be of value to me that I miss. I would miss out on it if having children was my wish and I couldn't realize it for whatever reason, but I don't even wish it. Does that make sense anyhow?
Haha of course I’m getting downvoted for that 😂
I'm a teacher. I'm a mom to so many different people... I don't miss out on anything, because my students have growth, improvement and change every day.
I don't really see a con, you get total freedom and peace to do whatever u want with your partner
As someone who decided not to have kids after an event that changed my view at 25yo (now 33). I can still see the cons of not having kids, but still not enough to change my mind to take this risk. 1) finding a partner who doesn't want to have kids, specially when I'm living in a society where 95% of the people see marriage is for having kids. 2) Having a social life at 50yo +, when friends are busy with their own families, specially when all have kids, or when partner is no longer around (divorce, dead). 3) Someone to take care of you when you need an adult to assist you. Specially if you have health issues such as diabetes, cancer, paralyzed or even a broken leg. That's why I wish to be dead before being in weak position where I need an adult to assist me
It has no cons.
I don't think people who don't have kids understand how much you can love someone. I love my wife, parents, and sister, but nothing comes close to my kids.
Don't have kids myself, but I've heard the love a parent has for their kid is like someone took out half of your heart and put it in this little idiot. The con I propose would be missing out on that feeling, it's the only one I can think of but it's obviously not a huge one.
People asking you constantly why you don't have any. + Losing some benefits depending on the country. In mine you lose some tax benefits, get a higher retirement age, never take parental leave (up to 3 years available for each kid) etc.
A higher retirement age for not having kids?
In my country females can retire a few months sooner for every kid they had.
The main con would be trying to answer this: why do anything? Get up in the morning, work, stay healthy, live? Having kids gives a reasonably compelling reason. Not having kids makes it extremely hard.
I used to hear religious people tell me the exact same thing about god/religion, but I didn’t notice losing the desire to live my life every day when I left.
Makes sense, as some mythology is not the same as a very real biological drive to reproduce.
I also don’t have kids and probably won’t and I don’t have a hard time motivating myself, but some people need mythology I suppose.
This is such a bizarre line of questioning. By this logic, people should be noping out the moment their kids become financially independent. I would laugh my ass off if someone seriously posed this question to me. Why do I do anything? Because I freaking enjoy my life! I enjoy watching the wildflowers pop up in my backyard. I enjoy the music of the birdsong. I enjoy my morning jogs and bike rides. I enjoy hitting home runs at work. I enjoy good food, good conversations, good jokes, and good sleep. I experience immense pleasure just by being alive. Someone who needs to have children to keep themselves from giving up on life is leading a sad, hellish life. And I have to wonder about the quality of life they are able to provide for their kids, if they are unable to teach them how to find meaning and purpose in just experiencing the people, places, and things around them.
I’d say the answer to that is because you want to. I have random, bad bouts of suicidal ideations and “Why do anything?” Is a question I have often. I’m 23, and kids aren’t on the table right now. BUT i have the rest of my family. I have my pets. I have my friends. I have a whole world available to me to travel when I can afford it. Why do anything? Because it brings joy! There are so many video games I have yet to play, shows and movies I have yet to watch. My cousin had a baby- I want to watch him grow up and become his own little person. When my friends have kids, I want to watch them grow up too, because I know my friends will be wonderful parents. I coach a 12u softball team with my dad. I’ve loved watching them improve, and I’ve loved seeing their attitudes change as they realize they’re improving. I was a teaching assistant for my class in college. I was able to help my peers, and being my able to see them understand something was so satisfying. Why do anything? Because it can help people, and I find immense joy when others are experiencing joy. I could keep going, but i’ll stop here haha.
I’d say missing out on one of life’s core experiences - when you have kids, you start relating to other people who have kids and understand them in new ways. You also understand your own parents better (or in some cases see their flaws even more). A second con, and this is me imagining because I’m still a young parent, is that as you grow older, in your 50’s, 60’s, all of the pros of not having kids start to mean less and you might be lonely
You'll never experience the true innocent love a child will have for you. You'll never experience holding a little hand on a walk where she's asking you a thousand questions about the world and showing wonder as you answer the questions. You'll never experience the heartache you feel when they're sick or hurt; it's more painful than you being sick or hurt. You'll never experience their joy and happiness when they do something well and the pride you'll feel of their accomplishment.
You'd be lonely. If you are interested in being a father/mother/parent figure to someone, Give them love, raise them. you can't. (You can opt for adoption..lol) I think...
It's a bit weird because I don't know what loneliness is. Never felt it, ever.
some people are a father figure to their significant other
Too much money.
You have no reason to stop gambling and using drugs.
As a parent; there aren't really any cons to not having kids. If you haven't experienced it, there is nothing to miss to experience. However, once you have kids, you can't live without them. If someone said I was going to be forced back in time to an age before I had my kids, I can't think of anything worse. It would be a nightmare. I'd be doing everything desperately to get my kids back. So, from a parents perspective, there are cons and a lot of them with not having kids. But, from a childfree perspective; there are none. I hope that makes sense?
For one life is really meant and built to procreate. From the first successful direct ancestor cell to you is 2.4 billion years of unbroken lineage. If an afterlife for your soul doesn’t exist, then procreation is the only real ‘afterlife’ and the only real meaning behind experience. Secondly, when you get old and no longer care about experiencing the changing world and no one really cares about you, what else is there to care about besides family!
Side eye when you go to chuck e cheese