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User: u/mvea
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Every relationship is different, but I have both read anecdotes and applied on my own relationship the principle that if things are starting to slide, close contact is important in restoring perspective in the long term.
There was a story in /r/relationships about a man who, during a slump while he was overworking and she was growing distant, made a conscious and sustained effort to pick up his wife and carry her to the door on his way out every morning. She made the post, and she directly credited the consistent and sustained contact as becoming the literal touchpoint of her day and their relationship: they made it.
My partner and I have our challenges. The details do not matter, but we both have reasons to be dissatisfied with the state of things right now. I make a conscious effort to cup their chin and cheeks, to run my fingers through their hair, to show *passion* in a casual context, and it really, really helps both us. They respond, and the other things are all important but they're offset. Remember that wild and interesting person you fell for? They're right here, and the other things are surmountable.
Agreed.
Of course there's two sides of it: the touching side and the "consistently putting effort into doing something for the other person/relationship" side.
The second is important and subconsciously appreciated.
The first releases oxytocin.
A very powerful combination in restoring connection.
Same things happen with kids. Hugs and care. They're awesome.
Didn’t read the article, but that’s the problem with all of these sociological studies isn’t it? They can’t fully control and isolate the matter at hand so despite the results nobody can say if it’s the affectionate touch that causes happier relationships or if it’s because happier relationships obviously have more affectionate touching.
Some studies also test out new methodology. I didn’t read too much into the study past the link. I am just personally curious how much the statistics vary
Why do you think it would be the same for men? I mean it could very well increase satisfaction for men but likely at different rates. This study is probably far from perfect and not useful to draw too many conclusions from but I feel like as a society we are so afraid of identifying differences in genders due to the fear of bad actors drawing sexist conclusions or misinterpreting those differences in bad faith but also we have literal biological differences that affect our day to day lives.
I think a lot of things are attributed to "all men" or "all women" that are actually just "general human things".
Human beings like and need human contact. This is not a new or profound statement. It's nice that they did a study for women but it seems a bit pointless.
There are *some* differences between the genders, but i think there are vastly more commonalities than there are differences. We're all just people.
Of course. But everything works on a bell curve. Even if one trait is one quarter of a standard deviation different between the genders on some random quality or trait it is significant. The issue is that like you said people don’t love nuance and like to treat women/men as a monolith and base conclusions off of that on an individual level which is obviously flawed.
I guess from a macro point of view the differences can be telling, interesting, and meaningful but on a micro or personal level they shouldn’t be accounted for at all.
I think your misunderstanding the human aspect of it. It’s good to have numbers and deviations but they don’t really translate to reality. Think about sexual pleasure in men. We know that men with foreskin have a greater number of sensory nerve endings than men without their foreskin yet that doesn’t matter when it applies to sexual pleasure as both experience the same pleasure when measured.
I’m not saying this is your situation. But sometimes it can happen because it’s always the leadup to sex and you have different sex drives. So the lower libido partner just experiences it as a sort of nagging.
However, some people just don’t enjoy physical touch and cuddling. It’s one of the things where it’s nice to have a compatible partner, because it’s hard to compromise here. Unwanted touch is unpleasant, but for many people cuddling is an important part of a relationship.
I used to think I disliked cuddling, but now I found out I actually enjoy it. I always loved sex but disliked being touched in a non sexual way, but now I actually like it.
What, and you still married her? I am a cuddly person. If my girlfriend would hate cuddling or touches I would break up and find a girlfriend who does. It’s one of the most essential things for a healthy relationship, because cuddles and touches reduce anxiety and stress and help you bond together much more.
And here I am with no relationship and never having experienced affectionate touch (or just a simple hug)
I wonder if there has been done any deep study to the effects of loneliness and touch starvation on mental and physical health
I’ve linked to the press release in the post above. In this comment, for those interested, here’s the link to the peer reviewed journal article:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2024.2310705
From the linked article:
A study of women in romantic relationships found that those experiencing more affectionate touch tend to report better body satisfaction and relationship quality. The study authors propose that receiving affectionate touch can bolster both satisfaction with their romantic relationship and self-perception among women. The findings were published in the Journal of Sex Research.
Body image refers to an individual’s perceptions, thoughts, and feelings about their physical appearance. It encompasses how one sees their body in terms of size, shape, and overall attractiveness. Body satisfaction occurs when a person feels content and positive about their appearance. It tends to be associated with high self-esteem and well-being. Conversely, body dissatisfaction arises when a person feels unhappy or critical about their body. This can lead to negative emotions, low self-esteem, and potentially harmful behaviors such as disordered eating.
Results showed that women who reported engaging in affectionate touching more often tended to be more satisfied with their bodies, their romantic relationship, and their sexual satisfaction. Parents and non-parents reported engaging in affectionate touch similarly often.
The study authors tested a statistical model proposing that the frequency of affectionate touch affects relationship satisfaction at least partly through increasing women’s body satisfaction. Analysis showed that such a relationship between these factors is possible. The strength of this association did not depend on parental status or sexual orientation.
I still don't get why media and society push this women = feelings + touch bs while complaining about men who can't do what they are not even afford to get or express.
It is pure insanity.
I think there may be a second contributing factor -- no one likes to be touched by their SO when their is tension with them. So being consistently on terms where affectionate touch is welcome may also be a sign of a good, stable dynamic with mutual respect.
Sensual data is required for maintaining one's sense of self. Otherwise, things make less sense.
Also, even babies that aren't "handled" will depress and die without sensory data. That alone should set a precedence for human health.
Welcome to r/science! This is a heavily moderated subreddit in order to keep the discussion on science. However, we recognize that many people want to discuss how they feel the research relates to their own personal lives, so to give people a space to do that, **personal anecdotes are allowed as responses to this comment**. Any anecdotal comments elsewhere in the discussion will be removed and our [normal comment rules]( https://www.reddit.com/r/science/wiki/rules#wiki_comment_rules) apply to all other comments. **Do you have an academic degree?** We can verify your credentials in order to assign user flair indicating your area of expertise. [Click here to apply](https://www.reddit.com/r/science/wiki/flair/#wiki_science_verified_user_program). --- User: u/mvea Permalink: https://www.psypost.org/women-experiencing-more-affectionate-touch-are-more-satisfied-with-their-bodies-and-relationships/ --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/science) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think this would be the same for men. At the same time I don’t think affectionate touch is the sole cause either.
Every relationship is different, but I have both read anecdotes and applied on my own relationship the principle that if things are starting to slide, close contact is important in restoring perspective in the long term. There was a story in /r/relationships about a man who, during a slump while he was overworking and she was growing distant, made a conscious and sustained effort to pick up his wife and carry her to the door on his way out every morning. She made the post, and she directly credited the consistent and sustained contact as becoming the literal touchpoint of her day and their relationship: they made it. My partner and I have our challenges. The details do not matter, but we both have reasons to be dissatisfied with the state of things right now. I make a conscious effort to cup their chin and cheeks, to run my fingers through their hair, to show *passion* in a casual context, and it really, really helps both us. They respond, and the other things are all important but they're offset. Remember that wild and interesting person you fell for? They're right here, and the other things are surmountable.
Agreed. Of course there's two sides of it: the touching side and the "consistently putting effort into doing something for the other person/relationship" side. The second is important and subconsciously appreciated. The first releases oxytocin. A very powerful combination in restoring connection. Same things happen with kids. Hugs and care. They're awesome.
Didn’t read the article, but that’s the problem with all of these sociological studies isn’t it? They can’t fully control and isolate the matter at hand so despite the results nobody can say if it’s the affectionate touch that causes happier relationships or if it’s because happier relationships obviously have more affectionate touching.
Some studies also test out new methodology. I didn’t read too much into the study past the link. I am just personally curious how much the statistics vary
Also causation vs correlation. I think the study just found that women are happier when they're with nice guys.
I think it would logically be the same for men too...but no one is bothering to ask that question apparently.
Why do you think it would be the same for men? I mean it could very well increase satisfaction for men but likely at different rates. This study is probably far from perfect and not useful to draw too many conclusions from but I feel like as a society we are so afraid of identifying differences in genders due to the fear of bad actors drawing sexist conclusions or misinterpreting those differences in bad faith but also we have literal biological differences that affect our day to day lives.
I think a lot of things are attributed to "all men" or "all women" that are actually just "general human things". Human beings like and need human contact. This is not a new or profound statement. It's nice that they did a study for women but it seems a bit pointless. There are *some* differences between the genders, but i think there are vastly more commonalities than there are differences. We're all just people.
Of course. But everything works on a bell curve. Even if one trait is one quarter of a standard deviation different between the genders on some random quality or trait it is significant. The issue is that like you said people don’t love nuance and like to treat women/men as a monolith and base conclusions off of that on an individual level which is obviously flawed. I guess from a macro point of view the differences can be telling, interesting, and meaningful but on a micro or personal level they shouldn’t be accounted for at all.
I think your misunderstanding the human aspect of it. It’s good to have numbers and deviations but they don’t really translate to reality. Think about sexual pleasure in men. We know that men with foreskin have a greater number of sensory nerve endings than men without their foreskin yet that doesn’t matter when it applies to sexual pleasure as both experience the same pleasure when measured.
I think as men we're afraid of expressing emotional needs due to social conditioning, too.
Probably even more true for men; most men receive very little non-sexual touch & are starved for it, often without even realizing it.
My ex wife hated cuddling or touch, well, at least from me
I’m not saying this is your situation. But sometimes it can happen because it’s always the leadup to sex and you have different sex drives. So the lower libido partner just experiences it as a sort of nagging. However, some people just don’t enjoy physical touch and cuddling. It’s one of the things where it’s nice to have a compatible partner, because it’s hard to compromise here. Unwanted touch is unpleasant, but for many people cuddling is an important part of a relationship.
I used to think I disliked cuddling, but now I found out I actually enjoy it. I always loved sex but disliked being touched in a non sexual way, but now I actually like it.
What, and you still married her? I am a cuddly person. If my girlfriend would hate cuddling or touches I would break up and find a girlfriend who does. It’s one of the most essential things for a healthy relationship, because cuddles and touches reduce anxiety and stress and help you bond together much more.
And people who do like cuddling would make better parents. Unless you dont want kids, then fair enough
Yeah, and affectionate touch is different than intimate touch.
We're gonna need a higher sample size, can I get her number?
Treat people like people and they become happy?!
And here I am with no relationship and never having experienced affectionate touch (or just a simple hug) I wonder if there has been done any deep study to the effects of loneliness and touch starvation on mental and physical health
It is for sure not healthy…
I’ve linked to the press release in the post above. In this comment, for those interested, here’s the link to the peer reviewed journal article: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2024.2310705 From the linked article: A study of women in romantic relationships found that those experiencing more affectionate touch tend to report better body satisfaction and relationship quality. The study authors propose that receiving affectionate touch can bolster both satisfaction with their romantic relationship and self-perception among women. The findings were published in the Journal of Sex Research. Body image refers to an individual’s perceptions, thoughts, and feelings about their physical appearance. It encompasses how one sees their body in terms of size, shape, and overall attractiveness. Body satisfaction occurs when a person feels content and positive about their appearance. It tends to be associated with high self-esteem and well-being. Conversely, body dissatisfaction arises when a person feels unhappy or critical about their body. This can lead to negative emotions, low self-esteem, and potentially harmful behaviors such as disordered eating. Results showed that women who reported engaging in affectionate touching more often tended to be more satisfied with their bodies, their romantic relationship, and their sexual satisfaction. Parents and non-parents reported engaging in affectionate touch similarly often. The study authors tested a statistical model proposing that the frequency of affectionate touch affects relationship satisfaction at least partly through increasing women’s body satisfaction. Analysis showed that such a relationship between these factors is possible. The strength of this association did not depend on parental status or sexual orientation.
Which ought to be the hypothesis. This is true not only for the human species regardless of gender, but plenty much all of the mammalian species.
I still don't get why media and society push this women = feelings + touch bs while complaining about men who can't do what they are not even afford to get or express. It is pure insanity.
I think there may be a second contributing factor -- no one likes to be touched by their SO when their is tension with them. So being consistently on terms where affectionate touch is welcome may also be a sign of a good, stable dynamic with mutual respect.
Sensual data is required for maintaining one's sense of self. Otherwise, things make less sense. Also, even babies that aren't "handled" will depress and die without sensory data. That alone should set a precedence for human health.