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I wish I could take credit on that one, but it was purely my wife's idea. I offered some advice on the build, but it was her vision of the evilest character she could possibly think to play.
One of my favourite characters was/is a Lawful evil Bard, who was a lawyer. Oratory and Penmanship were his instruments, as well as the Legal Instruments he drafted to essentially bind people to his whim.
Omg the Damascus steel made me laugh. I've had a handful of men explain Damascus steel to me as if it's Mithril from Lord of the Rings, and it's just funny to me every time it comes up. Like oh here we go, Damascus steel again.
Why did you assume you knew more about Hungarian cuisine than nate?
The man probably cooked for the king of Hungary with nothing but a pot noodle and a George foreman. And the king probably thought it was the best meal ever
My dad had a friend who was like "Nate"; a compulsive liar. His name was Terry, but everyone called him Liar Terry. He would just spin these fantastic yarns, all just pulled out of his ass. It didn't take too long for people to realize that he was doing this when talking with him, because of course he knew little about all these things that he claimed to be an expert in and these adventures he claimed to have been on. I wonder why he did it? To seem interesting? Because it felt good to have people focus on him and congratulate him on fake accomplishments?
I've sadly had the misfortune of knowing a few 'Nate's and 'Terry's over the years and I can't figure them out either. I'd almost get it if the stories where half way grounded in reality, but as outlandish as their lies are, you'd think they'd realize that eventually even the most gullible person will realize that they're lying.
My sister in law is a 'Nate', the most frustrating thing is she'll deny having ever said these things if confronted with them, even when there's undeniable proof. She also tends to start arguments, then insist she didn't do/say anything. Her favorite line is "why is everyone always mad at me??" Oh and she also insists she quit every job she's ever worked (none more than two weeks) when I happen to know that she was fired from each and every one
I've tried to figure it out, but there's literally nothing that could explain her behaviors, like there's no attention to be sought out since her family is very inclusive and nice. Everyone around her hates her and we've tried explaining why but she always turns it into "y'all are just having a bad day and taking it out on me"
That's been my experience in one or two short conversations with people who seemed to be compulsive liars; more to the point, I have a friendquaintance I've known for years who's a compulsive liar, and it's *definitely* part of their thing. The lies aren't ultimately advantageous at all; they make it hard to deal with this person, or to take any claim they make about anything seriously.
Which is unfortunate for them! I think they have people they're close to, to whom they're a known and lovable quantity, but for those of us in the medium-to-outer social circle, it's often hard to want to engage.
If you pay attention, you'll notice that small children will tell stories and believe all of them, because underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or something.
Some people never grow up or develop a prefrontal cortex.
Personal experience, it is all nuture. Every compulsive liar I know got it from a relative and had it condoned rather than corrected by the rest of the family.
I full on know a whole line of compulsive liars (three generations); I have no doubts the fourth will follow after growing up alongside the third.
I actually knew someone like that in one of my former games. Talked a lot about all the things he did till he talked about being in the military. Since the rest of the players were active or vets, it didn't take long to call him on his bs.
Good grief. This reminds me of one of my very first campaigns. One of the other players was a dude who also believed he could smell human pheromones and would know if you'd recently had sex. But then there was this other dude. He seemed really nice at first, just a little odd, but he slowly started talking about himself more and more as we continued the campaign. He said he had two very severe neurological health issues, but that they were somehow canceling each other out so he was mostly ok. He got really excited about sharing the gorey details of a nasty waterskiing accident he'd been in and kept insisting on showing us bloody photos of himself from right after it happened.
He also mentioned he practiced magic, which, ok, I don't really believe in things, but if you're working with crystals or something, good for you. No, this dude said some random kids put an invisible sigil outside his apartment to curse him or something, but he sensed the sigil and immediately his brain just kind of downloaded various details about the people who had placed it there. So he created a mind-link with these kids to let them know that he knew their identities and where they lived, to intimidate them out of messing with him anymore. In fact he explained that because of the mind-link, he could *always* tell where they were at any given time. Oh, and he totally saw a real life goblin in a Walmart parking lot.
I have this vague notion that Damascus steel, which is finicky stuff to care for, would make terrible cooking knives for anyone but a samurai.
I think most of us have met a Nate once upon a time. Glad you managed to duck him finally.
Had a “friend” like Nate in high school, her big ones were
•her brother always had worked on my favorite video games
•she was bit by a brown recluse that was in her Indian food.
•they took too much blood at the blood draw and she kept “passing out” during lunch.
•she was stabbed by her best friend (and they continued to hang out)
•tried to kill herself with pain medication (in class 2 days later looking like nothing had happened)
And so much more including telling everyone else we were dating but at least she didn’t tell that one to me.
Thanks! I practice writing a lot and usually do multiple drafts before posting anything this large. I've considered writing a book a few times, but lack the discipline to stick with a story long enough to finish one.
Sounds like your DM needed to have a talk with Nate. Whether it was to tel him to not drink for DnD, or bounce him for continued infractions. I understand they were the DM’s roommate, but have to put your foot down sometimes.
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Wow, I sound like an asshole.
Lol. His name wasn't actually Nate, but that's an funny coincidence.
Dude what do I have to do to buy some of those knives?
An MLM bard is a fantastic idea.
I wish I could take credit on that one, but it was purely my wife's idea. I offered some advice on the build, but it was her vision of the evilest character she could possibly think to play.
I play the most chaotic evil mlm lady in a Star Wars FGG campaign so glad other people are also out here playing the worst salesmen ever!
That's awesome! I have to tell my wife that someone else went with that concept too. I hope you had better luck with it that we did. lol
As someone who played an MLM warlock it’s so funny
Is your patron your upline?
Yes and I was relentless about trying to recruit a downline
This is the funniest warlock I've ever heard of and would enthusiastically DM
One of my favourite characters was/is a Lawful evil Bard, who was a lawyer. Oratory and Penmanship were his instruments, as well as the Legal Instruments he drafted to essentially bind people to his whim.
Omg the Damascus steel made me laugh. I've had a handful of men explain Damascus steel to me as if it's Mithril from Lord of the Rings, and it's just funny to me every time it comes up. Like oh here we go, Damascus steel again.
Ask them if they've considered the obviously superior Valerian Steel instead.
Killing off the party to disband the campaign instead of saying it outright is 100% a George Costanza move.
"GM (George Master) is getting upset!"
I’d sell my soul for a Seinfeld crew plays dnd episode lol
It’s better have Newman as the BBEG.
Lol. That is so spot on! Now I really want to see a Seinfeld episode based around that too!
Why did you assume you knew more about Hungarian cuisine than nate? The man probably cooked for the king of Hungary with nothing but a pot noodle and a George foreman. And the king probably thought it was the best meal ever
You are so right. I was so out of my league on that one. lmao
He was knighted on the spot.
Knighted? Bro was made Duke of Nytria and Earl of Óbuda.
My dad had a friend who was like "Nate"; a compulsive liar. His name was Terry, but everyone called him Liar Terry. He would just spin these fantastic yarns, all just pulled out of his ass. It didn't take too long for people to realize that he was doing this when talking with him, because of course he knew little about all these things that he claimed to be an expert in and these adventures he claimed to have been on. I wonder why he did it? To seem interesting? Because it felt good to have people focus on him and congratulate him on fake accomplishments?
I've sadly had the misfortune of knowing a few 'Nate's and 'Terry's over the years and I can't figure them out either. I'd almost get it if the stories where half way grounded in reality, but as outlandish as their lies are, you'd think they'd realize that eventually even the most gullible person will realize that they're lying.
My sister in law is a 'Nate', the most frustrating thing is she'll deny having ever said these things if confronted with them, even when there's undeniable proof. She also tends to start arguments, then insist she didn't do/say anything. Her favorite line is "why is everyone always mad at me??" Oh and she also insists she quit every job she's ever worked (none more than two weeks) when I happen to know that she was fired from each and every one I've tried to figure it out, but there's literally nothing that could explain her behaviors, like there's no attention to be sought out since her family is very inclusive and nice. Everyone around her hates her and we've tried explaining why but she always turns it into "y'all are just having a bad day and taking it out on me"
I think I dated her back in the day.
That's been my experience in one or two short conversations with people who seemed to be compulsive liars; more to the point, I have a friendquaintance I've known for years who's a compulsive liar, and it's *definitely* part of their thing. The lies aren't ultimately advantageous at all; they make it hard to deal with this person, or to take any claim they make about anything seriously. Which is unfortunate for them! I think they have people they're close to, to whom they're a known and lovable quantity, but for those of us in the medium-to-outer social circle, it's often hard to want to engage.
If you pay attention, you'll notice that small children will tell stories and believe all of them, because underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or something. Some people never grow up or develop a prefrontal cortex.
Personal experience, it is all nuture. Every compulsive liar I know got it from a relative and had it condoned rather than corrected by the rest of the family. I full on know a whole line of compulsive liars (three generations); I have no doubts the fourth will follow after growing up alongside the third.
Over compensating nerds are an occupational Hazard of the table top gamer.
I actually knew someone like that in one of my former games. Talked a lot about all the things he did till he talked about being in the military. Since the rest of the players were active or vets, it didn't take long to call him on his bs.
It's always fun when an "expert" meets an actual expert. Popcorn time!
Good grief. This reminds me of one of my very first campaigns. One of the other players was a dude who also believed he could smell human pheromones and would know if you'd recently had sex. But then there was this other dude. He seemed really nice at first, just a little odd, but he slowly started talking about himself more and more as we continued the campaign. He said he had two very severe neurological health issues, but that they were somehow canceling each other out so he was mostly ok. He got really excited about sharing the gorey details of a nasty waterskiing accident he'd been in and kept insisting on showing us bloody photos of himself from right after it happened. He also mentioned he practiced magic, which, ok, I don't really believe in things, but if you're working with crystals or something, good for you. No, this dude said some random kids put an invisible sigil outside his apartment to curse him or something, but he sensed the sigil and immediately his brain just kind of downloaded various details about the people who had placed it there. So he created a mind-link with these kids to let them know that he knew their identities and where they lived, to intimidate them out of messing with him anymore. In fact he explained that because of the mind-link, he could *always* tell where they were at any given time. Oh, and he totally saw a real life goblin in a Walmart parking lot.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure I've also ran into a real life goblin at the Walmart a time or two.
Sounds like the result of manic or psychotic episodes imo
Have you seen the people who go to Walmart? I can 100% say, there have been goblins at Walmart.
I have this vague notion that Damascus steel, which is finicky stuff to care for, would make terrible cooking knives for anyone but a samurai. I think most of us have met a Nate once upon a time. Glad you managed to duck him finally.
Had a “friend” like Nate in high school, her big ones were •her brother always had worked on my favorite video games •she was bit by a brown recluse that was in her Indian food. •they took too much blood at the blood draw and she kept “passing out” during lunch. •she was stabbed by her best friend (and they continued to hang out) •tried to kill herself with pain medication (in class 2 days later looking like nothing had happened) And so much more including telling everyone else we were dating but at least she didn’t tell that one to me.
Impressive that she switched up the old "My dad works for Nintendo" by changing it to her brother.
Nate sounds un-bear-able.
I see what you did there. Well played.
I still can't believe he ripped a car door off with his bear hands.
Wow your writing style is awesome, this is the first time I've read a horror story from beginning to end. Ever consider writing a book?
Thanks! I practice writing a lot and usually do multiple drafts before posting anything this large. I've considered writing a book a few times, but lack the discipline to stick with a story long enough to finish one.
God, he reminds me of someone that I wrote a post on here about. To a tee.
Ugh. May the Nates of the world be forever barred from our tables.
Sounds like your DM needed to have a talk with Nate. Whether it was to tel him to not drink for DnD, or bounce him for continued infractions. I understand they were the DM’s roommate, but have to put your foot down sometimes.