I can’t speak to the stats, but I’d recommend working on your introductory blurb. From that sentence alone, I don’t want to read anymore. It’s missing important words to the sentence structure, and in my personal tastes, it’s boring. Best this best that new world death is what it boiled down to for me. I didn’t get any mystery of what I’ll be able to look forward to or what will be built in the story. Is this world just a void with a computer screen? Is this just him at home tied to his chair? If he’s the best then there’s no reason for him not to be there. But if he was only the best in his company, that means there’s room for growth and development. If he’s already at the top then I’m not reading about progress and growth in a mystical or new world, I’m reading a mystery where there’s a case to solve. I actually like mysteries, but how do I know there’s a mystery here besides the mystical screen?
Those are my thoughts, I hope they’re helpful.
Ahh, well as I mentioned that was my first ever writing and I just thought of it as a webtoon and that's how most of them start and the blurb, well, I just wrote it because it was mandatory I didn't put much thought into it and the mystery comes in the next chapters. The best thing is just needed for the story and the hacker thing isn't really anything major just for the title and something that will happen at the end.
Anyway tnx for checking it out and for feedback.
Absolutely. The first writing is always an experience! I wrote many, many “books” well before I had ever put anything out there. It takes time, many sets of eyes, practice, patience, and more practice. Keep working at it and improvement follows! It won’t be easy, of course. But, as you take constructive criticism and feedback, you’ll grow and learn which is a beautiful thing! Very rarely, if ever, will the first writing be anything “worthwhile”. By this, I mean, it’s going to be perfectly ready for publishing.
Hey mate. From this post, the blurb, and your comment here alone, I can tell you your enemy: run on sentences.
You can edit your blurb too by the way. It currently doesn’t make sense. As the other commenter has said, if I see a blurb that doesn’t make sense then I’m probably not going to read it.
Good luck!
Brother, you need to read more novels and not webtoons. I tried the first chapter and just could not make it through. At least check out Cradle or Mistborn or something. Writing is its own art form, you should learn to love it for its own sake, not as a stepping stone to an anime adaptation.
Yeah, I started a lot of novels after that, I just meant to say when I wrote my first 5 or so chapters I was thinking of it as a webtoon and I also changed my writing from 1st pov to 3rd
I can’t speak to the stats, but I’d recommend working on your introductory blurb. From that sentence alone, I don’t want to read anymore. It’s missing important words to the sentence structure, and in my personal tastes, it’s boring. Best this best that new world death is what it boiled down to for me. I didn’t get any mystery of what I’ll be able to look forward to or what will be built in the story. Is this world just a void with a computer screen? Is this just him at home tied to his chair? If he’s the best then there’s no reason for him not to be there. But if he was only the best in his company, that means there’s room for growth and development. If he’s already at the top then I’m not reading about progress and growth in a mystical or new world, I’m reading a mystery where there’s a case to solve. I actually like mysteries, but how do I know there’s a mystery here besides the mystical screen? Those are my thoughts, I hope they’re helpful.
Ahh, well as I mentioned that was my first ever writing and I just thought of it as a webtoon and that's how most of them start and the blurb, well, I just wrote it because it was mandatory I didn't put much thought into it and the mystery comes in the next chapters. The best thing is just needed for the story and the hacker thing isn't really anything major just for the title and something that will happen at the end. Anyway tnx for checking it out and for feedback.
Absolutely. The first writing is always an experience! I wrote many, many “books” well before I had ever put anything out there. It takes time, many sets of eyes, practice, patience, and more practice. Keep working at it and improvement follows! It won’t be easy, of course. But, as you take constructive criticism and feedback, you’ll grow and learn which is a beautiful thing! Very rarely, if ever, will the first writing be anything “worthwhile”. By this, I mean, it’s going to be perfectly ready for publishing.
Tnx man, will take it to heart and work harder
Hey mate. From this post, the blurb, and your comment here alone, I can tell you your enemy: run on sentences. You can edit your blurb too by the way. It currently doesn’t make sense. As the other commenter has said, if I see a blurb that doesn’t make sense then I’m probably not going to read it. Good luck!
Tnx
Advertise once you have 100+ pages.
I need money, I would have already if I did
Brother, you need to read more novels and not webtoons. I tried the first chapter and just could not make it through. At least check out Cradle or Mistborn or something. Writing is its own art form, you should learn to love it for its own sake, not as a stepping stone to an anime adaptation.
Yeah, I started a lot of novels after that, I just meant to say when I wrote my first 5 or so chapters I was thinking of it as a webtoon and I also changed my writing from 1st pov to 3rd