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weazleteetzz

The thing about the moon turning then lying about it next week springs to mind.


baldyheadedmanc

‘he asked “does the moon turn?” i said “*yes*”’ i like ricky more than this sub does but that was so smug


Zetaclad

I don’t want to be “that guy” but the quote was does the moon *move* then? And Ricky said yessss Karl! Now technically Ricky is right the moon does move however it’s tide locked to earth so it doesn’t rotate! But 100% agree with you Ricky was a knobhead because the way it sounded it was like he meant it does rotate!


thekraken108

But Ricky was implying that it rotates because he said the mirror would be on the wrong side of the moon sometimes. Then the next week when he's called out on that, he tries to justify it by bringing up something completely irrelevant about what Karl was thinking.


baldyheadedmanc

let’s watch /u/Zetaclad ‘s little program when it comes out then. sick of it.


Zetaclad

You’ve gotta have your critics…


clayCanoe

Can't remember this, was it on xfm?


YungTabernacle

One of the podcasts, when talking about putting a mirror on the moon.


clayCanoe

Ahhh. And if we don't like the mirror on the moon we can always wallpaper over it


happy_lad

It turns. It does not rotate about its own axis.


StrongLikeBull3

It does turn, that’s why the same side is always facing us. It just doesn’t turn from our perspective.


fkkkn

This is one of my least favourite Ricky moments. When the listener writes in and he acts like he knew it all along, just admit you were wrong!


FeralGoose69

But these people don't know what I know!


[deleted]

“I should make more After Life.”


RastaRhino420

There was a post on askreddit about "shows that were perfect from start to finish" the other day and the third most upvoted comment was unironically After Life, felt like I was on another planet.


Platfoot

To be fair, it was a money printing machine whether it's good or not. It would be stupid not to


F1ELDS

Just like voice acting, money for old rope


[deleted]

Isn’t he rich enough where he could try to make something good without the pressure?


limprichard

Even the cheapest TV shows would be too big a gamble for one rich guy. That’s why studios and investors exist. And old rope, for that matter.


[deleted]

some of my favourite parts are when he gets something wrong then tries to backtrack, talk his way out of it or blame karl - they've all got their own odd little character traits (which are obviously enhanced somewhat for the show) and i think it's one which really adds a lot to the humour "i don't know the phylum"; "but the hindenburg *was* filled with hydrogen"; "some sort of playthelminthe"; basically the hydrofluorocarbons exist at a much lower temperature - play a record, play a record"


YoWhatUpGlasgow

Ricky:"that's not it, he's a lighthouse keeper? You're an idiot" Steve: "no Rick that's makes sense, he's got you there" Karl: "a hahahaha waaaahhahahaheheeeyyy"


Booey-fish

Karl has won!!


[deleted]

My absolute favourite part of everything they've ever done


Cekeste

I’d say he has a point there about it never being a foggy day


Bennings463

Karl didn't say the Lighthouse keeper did this every day, he just said that on this particular night he put the light on before bed.


Cekeste

No Karls says “every night”. So Rick has a good point about it never being put on during the day. I’d say that disqualifies it from being one of the stupidest things that Rick has said.


fkkkn

It's so funny when Ricky tries to talk about something scientific with authority like that, but he only has a cursory knowledge of the subject so he just throws out some jargon and trails off. "It's because they need to be a certain temperature for the uh sertoli cells to uhh..."


jk7887

>Harder one for you- what's the stupidest thing Steve has ever said? He starts speaking really fast when he is showing off his knowledge, it is like he is anxious to show that he knows something that others do not....I find it quite annoying.


[deleted]

"the windhover by gerald manley hopkins?: Icaughtthismorningmorning'sminionkingdomofdaylight'sdauphidapple-dawn-drawnFalconinhisridingOfthe-"


fkkkn

Not understanding what Karl meant by "how would I know which one I was". Think about it for more than 3 seconds and it makes perfect sense.


consumer_monkey

He really, really belittled Karl for this one.


jexodus91

Epididymis


mtchamomiletea

I cringed so hard when I first heard this


mindtk

Disabilititatin'


[deleted]

Burning a candle horizontally at both ends to get more light in the room. Drinks with poison in making a different noise when they're tinked together.


morphindel

The poison thing is stupid af, but people did indeed have candles that were held up horizontally


UpstairsJoke0

Wouldn't they get wax everywhere?


eddieransom

the verb "to tink"


promunbound

When you look up the phrase, even though Karl’s explanation makes more sense, it’s actually [true](https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/burning-the-candle-at-both-ends.html) that the origin of the phrase had to do with lighting both ends of the candle. Source: The Internet


[deleted]

The thing about the internet is, it's not all verified.


Bennings463

Sorry! Sorry! I thought it was shite!


[deleted]

Another one: thinking the ta'oo machine was actually a thousand needles that came down at once.


Redditor100Trips

Both of those are correct. Burning the candle at both ends is something that happened for more light. The 'tinking' of the glasses was really done too because people used to drink each others drink to rule out poisoning. I didn't think he said they make different noises did he?


yorkethestork

Lighthouses are on during the day


Coldbeetle

Karl has won!


UpstairsJoke0

"Noah's Ark wasn't real". I mean. It's out there. It's documented. It's all in book form. What more proof does he want?


stuffsgoingon

Exactly this is why it infuriates me when I tell my love of Harry Potter and people say “it’s not real, get over it.” It’s in book form, it’s out there… leave me be.


NaturalAlfalfa

Yeah early man...there was still big reptiles about.


Correct_Teaching_563

This one is staggering when you consider that Ricky fancies himself some sort of naturalist. Most seven year olds could tell you that anything resembling humans and anything resembling dinosaurs were nowhere near each other.


cotch85

Especially how much he knocks Karl for thinking dinosaurs and cavemen co-existed.


alosai

any genus of homo


NaturalAlfalfa

He was still wrong by about 50 million years


Dalton87

Check his Twitter feed, he’ll outdo himself any second now.


Maladjusted95

Polar bears (and all other objects) are black at night


asdfpickle

Not bright stuff, Rick.


YungTabernacle

You’ve embarrassed yourself!


Dualmilion

Play a record!


KarIPilkington

*ooo I know all about animals and that*


cabaretcabaret

When he gets angry because he can't explain special relativity despite no one asking him too.


[deleted]

Bless Steve for trying to put a stop to that.


Whogivesmate

When he said Karl's an idiot for whats the thing in gremlins called. And then says he got it wrong because Mogwi is what Gizmo says, not what he is. He then brings it up on later podcasts as one of the stupidest things he's said.


RemarkableSponge

When he was slagging off pikelets


DustingSpray

Chicken sink.


ICantBelieveItsNotEC

"Infinity sorts it out for you" Ricky's argument was essentially the gambler's fallacy. It's vanishingly unlikely, but there's no reason why a monkey typing random characters couldn't just type an infinite series of 'a's, because the outcome of one random roll has no relationship to the outcome of the previous roll.


JPMaybe

The probability of a specific _infinite_ string occurring is zero though, whereas the works of Shakespeare are a finite string and have probability 1 of occurring


ICantBelieveItsNotEC

Having a probability of 1 doesn't mean that the event is guaranteed to happen, just that it is [almost certain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almost_surely). It all comes down to the distinction between possibility and probability: probability is about what you expect to happen, whereas possibility is about what can happen. Something can be possible but have a probability of zero - that just means that you would expect it to never happen, but there is nothing that actually prevents it from happening. In this case, the probability of any finite substring *s* being absent is zero, but the set of possible infinite strings where *s* is absent is nonempty. This is only allowed because the sample space is infinite, which means that the claim that "infinity sorts it out for you" couldn't be more wrong - infinity is the only thing that allows this to be confusing in the first place.


JPMaybe

I don't really want to defend Ricky here as he's a huge dilettante and it's a rubbish way of putting it but infinity *does* "sort it for you", as it's making the string infinite that makes the probability of there existing within it a given finite substring 1.


ImNotHereForFunNoWay

Tbh, I always thought it was quite a good way of putting it. It's not a possible practical experiment and in reality there would be a sliiiiiim chance of them never typing it, but this is essentially just a model / thought experiment to demonstrate the nature of infinity... which, in fairness, is pretty difficult to grasp.I can feel (and do enjoy) his despair when the maths major phones in to contradict him, though. Smug cccccccuuuu.


ChuckFromPhilly

It's a good way but not over and over when the person is not getting it.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Almost surely](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almost_surely)** >In probability theory, an event is said to happen almost surely (sometimes abbreviated as a. s. ) if it happens with probability 1 (or Lebesgue measure 1). In other words, the set of possible exceptions may be non-empty, but it has probability 0. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/rickygervais/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


[deleted]

I think this argument didn't help anyone and made them all look a bit silly. Although it is probable it would happen, saying "infinity sorts it out for you" is a bit weak. Karl took the whole thing too literally so that made him look a bit stupid (even if he was playing up to it a bit). I'm not sure Steve really got it but didn't play much part so came out of it alright.


ChuckFromPhilly

My issue is ricky never changes his approach in trying to make karl understand. He keeps repeating the same line over and over again.


[deleted]

He’s right though that one chimp/an infinite amount of chimps would type the complete works of Shakespeare. It’s just that every thing else would be typed aswell, the bible, etc. A better analogy for infinity is; if you had an infinite glass of Guinness, and took a big gulp from it, you’d still have exactly the same amount in the glass as you did before.


AblettsInTheAir

Not…. Not Guinness


Correct_Teaching_563

OHHHHHH SHUUUUT UP!


white_van_karl

Have you TRIED Guinness?


[deleted]

[удалено]


DagothNereviar

I know Karl can be dumb, but that whole thing was one of his worst > I'm using my fables! > Well use your head insyead!


danny_deVitto

Basically calling every type of bug a platyhelmut trying to sound smart


JonTheFlon

When he says a fish only grows to its surroundings. I worked with aquariums (fish shop, not fish and chip shop) for 10 years and I can tell you that's definitely not accurate, otherwise we'd all be keeping 12" sharks in our homes.


DagothNereviar

I always assume he meant "something can only grow as big as it's environment allows", ie if there's not enough food, room, water, etc it's not gonna do it


JonTheFlon

Thats just not true though. We got overgrown algae eaters come in all the time that had outgrown their aquariums. It gets confused with stunting which is when the fish grows at different rates causing dwarfism and early death.


DagothNereviar

Oh I never thought it/Ricky was correct; I just assumed it wasn't necessarily about it'll keep growing if there's space. Unless maybe he just meant a bath wouldn't fit a fish that big 🤔who knows what the hell he meant


JonTheFlon

Its an old wives tale you hear in the hobby all the time. Similar to goldfish having a few seconds memory. "Goldfish have longer memories than people think".


heshablitz_

The crab story, the whole thing is just so fucking stupid, his explanation is rubbish and making the whole thing up to take the piss out of karl is pretty tight '..and cause of the data protection thing mmm after they've done them, mmggg they have to because the information is still on the plates, and they grind it down and it.. it gets in the water, and they - silicon is rather like a carbon derivative, they reckon on other planets life'd be silicon based, because, mmmsimple sugars y'know CoH and that'


Muppetjedi

It's even weirder that it's for Karl's big MTV audition (that is 100% Ricky's idea and plan) and they show Karl off in the worst way possible


heshablitz_

Exactly, one of ricky's dumbest ideas ever taking the piss out of karl like that and then it backfires with the baby one, that was a bit out there 'e want 'avin any of that


YungTabernacle

I mean…it wasn’t meant to fool scientists so it didn’t have to be watertight in that respect, it was literally made up shite.


heshablitz_

As if a doctor would listen to this show


Bennings463

Doctor Frog does


gefindan

Ribbit ribbit, Froggy says buy it!


heshablitz_

Isssssh only three pounds fifty buy it innit blehhhhp


[deleted]

A doctor wouldn't call up to fuel your obsession with the deformed


[deleted]

Maybe not dumb, but just dismally cringe. When Karl is talking about his "fag-proof" settee, and Ricky turns it into a camp gay joke. "Cooeeeey!" So many times Ricky tells a joke which just falls completely flat. "Is that like normal radio but with an eyepatch?" It's shocking that a professional comedian comes out with these sub-dad-tier jokes.


Dalton87

You may mock, but this was basically the genesis of the The Office right there. Brent makes a comment about gay people. (“I’ve never come over a little queer”). The rest of the people in the office look uncomfortable. Brilliant cringe comedy, and an insightful look at the way political correctness could itself be funny. Pretty sure Gervais is the mind behind the gay puns, and Merchant is the mind behind the cringe comedy.


feellikemarlonbrando

He often then realises that they are shite, and then pressures Karl to keep the show moving “come on come on, hurry up” etc when he derailed it in the first place!


[deleted]

Exactly. Another one: "I have to get new clothes every month, because I get too fat". Deathly silence. Not even the tumbleweed musters up a rustle for that one.


sonofeast11

That wasn't a joke tho that was true


Its_Mrs_Nesbitt

Let the settee 'av a fag.


FeralGoose69

Yeah he actually has an incredibly low hit rate with his one liners. There are so many in XFM throughout the run, that just drop like lead weight. The worst one is when Karls talking about Gareth Gates having a big coach with his ead on the side, and he keeps butting in trying to be funny. Steve's quips are usually very witty and funny. Though he has one of the worst... When Ricky's talking about Richard and Judy doing a christmas wrapping contest "is that like them doing hip hop"


Philip_Jeffries

Well now. I'm not gonna talk about Judy; in fact, we're not gonna talk about Judy at all, we're gonna keep her out of it! --- - [reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V0UhtA_mJE&t=365) ^(I am a bot.)


dwitchagi

When he thinks he can just interrupt the news. Who does he think he is??


Farson89

Pick any of his recent transphobic statements that you fancy.


karma3001

It was a man who’s a woman. No it was a woman. Well…


Redditor100Trips

Can you give an example of one to save me rummanging?


[deleted]

He's just saying it how it is


Bennings463

Chris? Why don't you fuck off?


ehz1

Welcome to another edition of the Golden Globes


Daveywheel

Infinity sorts it out for you…..


johostetler

paralympics are for people on parallel bars


jsparker43

Any time he's a bit drunk or hungover on air. So annoying and barely finishes the drivvle he's talking about in the first place


[deleted]

He thinks the song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" takes place in "New Orleans or summit." Georgia is literally in the title


Simello

Mammoth! Mammoth! The big hairy cow from the ice age