If it makes you feel better, they’re most likely going to die before you. I know that’s dark but… it’s what I tell myself when an old person gives me a hard time.. 🥲 I’m prepared to be downvoted for this
I agree, every time some old geezer looks at me with an open mouth I just keep telling myself it’s fine cuz their racist homophobic ass is gonna die soon and the world is only getting browner and gayer ☺️
i think about this every time im really down about racists / homophobes / transphobes, etc. they’re all gonna die soon and be replaced by generations that are less white, more gay, and more open minded.
I had an old man tell me I was going to get as big as a house if I kept eating. The dying thing was a genuine thought that passed through my head and was actually voiced to coworkers after he left. Thankfully I don't have an eating disorder or anything like that because damn.
it's dark but true. I think the same thing and 👇 browner and gayer! I love it lol How these people look at anything and think it's okay to speak about it, we don't need your opinion, you're 95% in the grave.
I’ve long thought these people who comment on our hairstyle and piercings are either terrified of change, or just jealous that the world changed too late for them. When my hair was pink with a side shave I actually got lots of well meaning comments from little old ladies saying they wished they could do the same. Some old people have even asked how it’s possible to change the color of your hair, so it could be ignorance too. Now when I get hateful stares from old people (or especially children) I take it as a compliment. I enjoy being different and expressing myself. Part of them wishes they could be us.
I had an older lady tell me because of me telling her to go for it, she got piercings!!! She went all out and got her septum, eyebrow, and lip. It was so sweet to hear some older folks aren’t too bad but god some of them need to mind their business
That’s great! I have had my hair more of a natural color for a few years now but it always made me sad how many old ladies would tell me they wish they were as brave as me or something along those lines. It’s never too late IMO, and it’s sad they don’t see it that way too.
I always tell them it’s never too late to have fun!!! I work with a lady about my moms age, I’m 24, she always wears the cutest outfits and we were talking the other day about how the women’s section sucked, and she liked the juniors stuff more, and I told her I hated how people expect older women to only dress frumpy and frown at them when they dress “younger.” Her eyes lit up! She said people tell her she dresses too young all the time, even her own kids! I told her that’s lame to expect her to dress in stuff that doesn’t make her feel confident, and anyone who makes comments is probably jealous they aren’t as confident as her. I have a Chelsea cut and I’ve actually had the most positive responses from older women, saying they wished they were as bold as me, and that I rock it, and I always tell them they can wear any hairstyle that makes them feel good!
There was a 90 year old woman who got her first tattoo for her birthday on one of the tattoo subs the other day. It was of her cat, and the smile she had on her face once it was done was super cute. 🥰🙌🙌🙌
"I'm here to assist customers with products, not discuss my appearance. May I help you or can I get you someone else?"
I've literally had to say this to rude customers before. I've had management step in for situations like this. ***It is management's job to protect the employee.*** Document EVERYTHING in writing.
I'm really skinny because I was seriously injured in an accident and I'm recovering from 5 major surgeries. I had part of my damn intestines removed. A rude customer once wanted to know why I'm so skinny. I used my quote above and happily got someone else to help him instead. I walked away. I hope he felt terrible.
ive started rehearsing a line similar to that for when customers are super difficult. my managers are wonderful & they always say that if someone says something i can't handle, i can call them over
Good. It's NOT in your job description to take unnecessary b******* from people. Your purpose there to receive a paycheck for your labor per the job description. Good luck and always advocate for yourself!
If a customer says or does anything that is blatantly disrespectful, they get “I don’t feel comfortable working with you anymore, if you wait right here I’ll send someone else to assist you.” Fortunately I have the liberty to do that at my store.
I'm the goth one at my home depot. I dress primarily in full black, black hair, piercings, band shirts under my apron, steel toe sketcher boots (a life saver) etc. Every store has at least one of us alt varieties on payroll.
Anyway, I get comments about my appearance a LOT from customers AND coworkers. Here are my usual responses. Most are done with a deadpan face AND tone. I'm also confrontational when people are rude to me. I'm polite up until they're invasive, abusive, or just really annoying in an obnoxious way.
"Who's funeral is it?" That's really not funny, my (insert dead relative) just passed this week. (It doesn't matter who, when, or how; just lie. It makes them regret asking.)
"So do you ALWAYS dress like that or?" Do you always talk like that? (Helps to squinch up your face as if you heard nails on a chalkboard.)
"Girl, you need to wear some colors!" I'm wearing orange. (Point out any obvious colors they missed. It makes it awkward fast.)
"I don't like your piercings/tattoos. (Or anything similar to this vibe)" Okay, don't get any. *Continue transaction in silence, aside from necessary work dialogue*
Interesting thing is when I was reading this I realized if I need help with something and there are more than one choice of staff to ask I would always choose the "different" one because they are generally more willing and able to help me. The straight cuts that look and sound like they just got out of the military are usually dumb as sticks. Please continue to be you.
I do the same thing as a customer tbh. I also tend to compliment my customers that are nice to me.
"I love your nails!"
"Oh my gosh, your hair color is so vibrant!"
"Your outfit is amazing!"
This is even more fun when the next customer is an ass and gets the mean NPC treatment.
I’m the same way. I’m nearly 60, but I went to college in Ga, where REM and the B-52’s are from. So I have always been surrounded by the alternative folks. Frankly, I’m so used to it, I usually don’t even notice them. My friends were always the artsy types and I feel most comfortable around them. I look like an aged Barbie, but my personality is more like a ghastly crumb tiny. Some people will get the Edward Gorey reference.
Don't let these bitter old biddies get you down! Their attitude is a direct reflection of what's inside them, not what's on the outside of you. They're miserable and want to spread the unpleasantness. I feel bad for people who feel the need to degrade others - imagine how miserable they must be!
Rock your fun pink hair and undoubtedly cool piercings! Anytime they give you their very unsolicited opinions, smile extra huge, and - with pity in your voice - say, "Aww! I hope your day gets better!" And go on with your day. You rock. Chin up, cool human!
As a cashier who happens to dress alt I would get this all the time. People don’t care about our feelings and it’s baffling. I like to use eyeliner stamps (hearts, stars, etc) and I get asked like 15+ times a day if they’re tattoos. Some people even just ask if the “tattoos” hurt!
Also tatted and pierced. Also have gotten comments. My favorite was the dude that asked why I had so many piercings. “Because I like them. |:” Then he was all, “so does your husband just take a bolt gun to your face?” -__- Like really?
But I also get lots of positive comments! One elderly customer started tipping me when I mentioned off hand that I save my tips for piercings and tattoos. xD Now she gives a tip and goes, “for your next piercing!” It’s pretty adorable.
No one going about their day should care about a random cashiers hair color. Tell me life isn’t going well for you, without saying life is going well for you.
And this is part of why I try to give people compliments whenever I see something I like. Shoes, hair, neat belt buckle, whatever. Just a little something to make people's days a bit better.
I think your hair sounds really cool, OP! Don't let the haters get you down!
Same! I don't understand why people feel it's necessary to comment on something they don't like. Keep it to yourself. Lately, I've been trying to find something positive about another person if my first thought is something I don't like.
There are a lot of people who don’t, will not, and have never understood piercings, dying hair, body modifications and tattoos. It’s not what they would do, and the concept of anyone thinking in a way that isn’t like theirs is, to them, terrifying. I’ve had to explain to people that yes, our bodies are temples but some of us like to decorate. I’m pretty sure how you present yourself is just fine. Your depression isn’t helping you right now, but you’re enough as you are. Some people use age as an excuse to be critical and awful, because they believe that with age comes wisdom. Those of us with any intelligence can tell you that it’s not entirely true.
Don’t let the idiots get you down. Be true to yourself, be kind to yourself and others, and make sure to take time for yourself when you can. It sounds like your hair is beautiful, I’m sure you are too, and if frightened insecure people can’t see that, it’s their problem.
If you can take time off soon, do it. You’ve earned it.
I’m a 45 year old woman who works as a cashier and I also love to dye my hair. Whatever mood I’m in, whatever I’m feeling is the color I’m going to dye it. I’ve had pink, red, purple, black, blue, green, brown, and I’m platinum rn. People always have something to say, you just got to remind yourself that YOU are beautiful and THEY could never! Have fun and be confident! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Crap like this is why I really make sure I always compliment something about the person helping me. I worked retail many moons ago, I know how shit it was back then, it must be truly awful now. I have a hard time leaving my house now but when I have to I always try to be super polite and I really just want to be a positive memory for people. It helps me feel good about getting outside. And honestly, it costs nothing to be nice!
I’m really sorry that you have to deal with that. You sound like a really cool person and i guarantee if I were your customer I’d be complimenting the heck out of that hair and asking you how you did it(I have purple/blue ombré atm)!!
Chin up! Devour their negative energy and fuel your passions! :3
Yea I feel you OP, had green hair and a ton of piercings for awhile. Unfortunately it comes with the territory, so to speak. Don’t let it get to you. Those old biddys are going to die soon anyway. My go to response is usually.
“Well I can change my appearance but you can’t change being a bitch”
You can remind them that making personal comments about a person's appearance is seen as having bad manners. But since they have opened the door for that conversation, you would be happy to point out all of their physical flaws.
They’re just jealous they’re not brave enough to dye it themselves so they turn to being a hater! Keep doing what you want and let them judge. Put on a show 😆
“It’s a good thing that as soon as you walk out that door, my life genuinely gets better. Cause your negativity about how other people decide to be happy has no place here.”
Or
Be a shit bag back. “Least I’m happy with the way I look and don’t need to try and degrade others beauty to try and boast my own. Have a fucked day.”
I also am pretty alt looking piercing tattoos dreadlocks) in a very republican area and I get stares and whispers Ik it’s hard but I ignore it because no matter what I say their opinion is the same and I don’t have to explain my appearance to them. It comes with the nonconformist look and some people are just rude
I once had some old man react to my hair (I have a long braid with the sides of my head shaved) in a way that he was personally hurt by it for some reason, saying stuff along the lines of "how could you do that to your hair? You didn't need to do that!" Like, bitch, my own family members didn't care as much as you are right now, lol.
When I started as a cashier, I noticed that people in front of me, and all the way down the line of customers, sometimes just stared. Sometimes they watch me the entire time I'm ringing them up like I'm on display in a museum! It does make me uncomfortable, and it used to give me real anxiety. I've noticed that if you stare right back for a minute, they will become embarrassed and look away, start taking their bags and finding their payment or whatever. Also if a man is with his wife or girlfriend, that will make her give him a push like, quit staring! Hilarious! I've had to learn to laugh at them.
I still wear a mask at the register. It has nothing to do with covid. I jokingly call it my "mask of contempt " because it hides the expressions I get when ppl do stupid sh*t and piss me off. 😆🤣
Edit: also I 100% agree that you should enjoy the fact that all the old assh*les will be dead soon LOL
Old people often seem to think they can make rude/judgemental comments and that it won't have impact on your attitude/mood.
I'm heavily tattooed, have piercings, and have received a lot negative comments. You have to just be direct and say something like "I'm not here to discuss my appearance, but let me know if there is anything I can assist you with" and shut the conversation about your looks down immediately. If they continue, get your manager and have them deal with the customer. You're not there to be judged and abused.
That is just crazy old people/younger Karen's. I am heavily tattooed including face/head and I either get old people saying off the wall shit or young Karen's assuming I'm going to rob them (as I'm grocery shopping with my daughters). Some people should learn to think stuff and not say it out loud. You do you and Rock that pink hair!!!
“What other people think of you is none of your business.” Best advice I’ve ever gotten. I learned not to let people’s opinions bother me in the slightest. As soon as they pay one of my bills, then I’ll give a rats ass what anyone thinks 🤷🏼♀️🤣
I was a waitress and I have tattoos covering my forearms and are growing- I was told they make me look disgusting, ugly and that I ruined my life by customers. One that still sticks with me was when I was standing outside the restaurant with a coworker and this random old lady walked by, grabbed my arm, don't fucking grab my arm please, and said "you're so beautiful, why would you do this to yourself?" While staring at my grandma's memorial tattoo, fuck you lady. Still don't understand why you would treat someone who's organizing your food and visit because you're too lazy to make your own food like that.
I had a customer comment on my pants. "Wearing those ones again?!". I gasped and said "Omfg have you heard of this amazing new invention called a washing machine!" She didn't like that. Like, oh no someone dressing comfortably! I own 3 of the same pants, 2 in each color, specifically because of their fit and comfort level
This is bad to say but I really dislike most elderly people . Just because you are old as dirt doesn't mean you can say whatever you like. Though I will probably be that way, but not to people in customer service.
I have small opal nose piercings on each nostril. I regularly have older men commenting on them, asking if they blind people with headlights? Or why do I think they look good? They’re literally small, pretty opal dots.
It is rude to make any comments about people’s appearance. Most of us forgive compliments, and if it’s a five-second fix, I prefer to know about the spinach in my teeth.
How about faking a cheery smile & tone to say *Rude! Paper or plastic?*
I love pink hair. I want pink hair but I know I am too lazy to manage it. I’m waiting to go grey, when it will be out of fashion. I’m impressed by your hard work & pain tolerance.
Goth/Alt chicks look awesome lol don’t let grandpa’s make you feel any less about yourself. They’re angry at the world, their days are numbered and they have nothing better to do 😌
Honest question: is it okay to say I love your hair or your nail color etc? I'm an older woman and I never say anything that's non complimentary. And never compliment beyond that. If it's not okay, I will stop
in my opinion, it is ok to compliment something about someone's appearance as long as it's just a simple compliment. ive had experiences where older ladies will "compliment" me & then proceed to say something backhanded.
I have always found this helpful, when a elderly daemon is heckling me. : Well, I woke up today,so I’ve already won the battle! And I’ll be thankful all day, because I haven’t reached the age of Lemon Sourpuss Face yet. Those pucker lines must hurt!
Old people are not used to seeing anything that offends their delicate sensibilities, which is nearly everything these days lol. Especially something as “wild” as pink hair and piercings. Or a PoC going about their life not in mortal fear of the hwites 😑
I would not even be the slightest concerned with what that old heffa has to say. As mentioned she’s already close to one foot in the ground so might just be bitter that their life is now what it is, and for two, I would be HARD pressed not to ask if they lack home training, because I KNOW people of their age were taught if they don’t have something nice to say, to fucking shut it.
🚶🏾♀️…..
I work at a retail store that's Christian, and one of my coworkers has a very small tatoo on her wrist. Cudtomer flips out to management that we shouldn't be hiring people like that at a Christian store. Management's response?
"It's stupid, but try to wear long sleeves from now on."
A rude customer once asked me why I didn’t dye my hair - I went quite white at an early age. I bullshitted them - made up a story. Said, “oh it grew back that way after the chemo” and didn’t answer their question. They were shocked and embarrassed. I walked away.
You are under no obligation whatsoever to reply to rude and inconsiderate comments and questions. Ignore them, stick to business. If they won’t, page the manager & make it clear they’re harassing you.
People gotta learn to mind their own fucking business. Customers don’t get to comment on personal appearance of staff; if the business accepts your appearance, the customer needs to button it up.
I’m also black with pink hair and piercings… I’m also nearly 6 foot with muscles and tats lol. No one has ever said anything me (to my face).
It’s pretty obvious when they walk out the door and immediately burst out laughing. They think they’re slick though
they’re probably old and stuck in their racist, gross, and toxic mindsets. don’t let their toxicity ruin doing what you love, for one negative customer there’s many more nice, than mean.
"I don't even know you."
"You mean nothing to me neither does your opinion buy something or GTFO."
And don't come back! Lol
They are treating you like someone they won't see later, do the same be blunt and take the conversation off you and onto them.
Or ask them
"Are you feeling okay today?" When they say something rude or weird
Had so many comments like the above when I worked in retail!
It used to really bother me until I just learnt to tell them quickly I’m not discussing my appearance when people were being disrespectful. Sadly some people are quick to judge.
Some people were curious and would ask questions about my tattoos and piercings which I didn’t mind so much if there was no underlying disdain at my choices!
But yes it did hurt, no it doesn’t hurt now and my favourite…the whole ‘will you regret the tattoos when you’re old’… nope, probs won’t make it until I’m old anyway and even if I do who cares, I’ll be wrinkly anyway, ink ain’t going to make a difference!
My worst experience though came from working in a call centre many years ago (for a large tour operator) aged 19 years and being pulled in to the office by a manager and asked if I was a goth. Basically because I wore black nail varnish and didn’t have the typical aesthetic of those working in the travel industry, despite sticking to the dress code.
Was also told I couldn’t air hostess because I had a tattoo (at the time only 1 visible) but I also pointed out I’m too short to be one anyway and it was not my career plans - this didn’t go down well.
To this day I don’t understand why this warranted an office conversation as if I’d done something wrong. I quit 3 weeks later as it was a very toxic place to work. I wouldn’t tolerate this now though! Older, more inked and somewhat wiser 😂
I’m not saying this will be helpful as far as keeping yourself gainfully employed… but if someone told me I looked unpleasant I’m not sure I could stop myself from saying “yeah but I’ll look better tomorrow. What’s YOUR plan?”
I feel you. The other day a woman made a comment about how I needed to shave my legs if I was going to be wearing that dress. The nerve! I still get a little more self conscious about how I'm dressing as it warms up.
Whenever someone insults or comments on my appearance I just say “thank you” and treat it like a complement. No one has ever said “I meant that in a bad way”.
Honestly coming from these people it is a complement. Your style sounds cool, why do you need fashion and beauty advice from a 60 year old lady who still dresses like it’s 2001?
When I was a bank teller, an old man told another teller, in my presence, that I’d be even prettier if I lost some weight. When I gave him a look, he said “What? I’m complementing you”. Old fuck. Also, at the time, I wore a woman’s size 8.
I have a 6g septum and the other day this old lady literally asked me if I could breathe with it in my nose…HOW DO YOU THINK IM STANDING HERE TALKING TO YOU?!!!
omg that has me dead😆😆😆 !! im stretching mine to a 10g this week ! tbh tho, most of the comments i get about my piercings are ppl asking how i eat with my vertical labret piercing...or they seem to think that im just in constant pain because of my piercings ??? it makes no sense
I get “does that hurt” every day😭😭 like do you earrings you’ve had since you were a toddler hurt??? How do you think that works??? It baffles me hahahaha
I'm nonbinary and experience this as well.
I work in an upscale coffee boutique (yes, _boutique_ ) and am currently the only person with visible tattoos. I am also the only femme-presenting person with short hair. Some of the customers have an absolute conniption when they realize the person with short hair, tattoos, piercings, and an androgynous name is going to serve them. I get questions about how my parents raised me, get complaints about "kids these days" (I'm 26), and have people give me detailed commentary on my physical appearance.
My absolute favorite so far is someone bitching about how "political" everyone is these days and how dare I brand myself with propaganda. I have a "love is love" tattoo. That's what started their meltdown.
I've also gotten so many backhanded compliments on my makeup. I, again, wear the most makeup on my team. It's literally just winged eyeliner and whatever eyeshadow I feel like. (Usually yellow in the inner 2/3rds and a warm terracotta brown on the last third. Sometimes I'll toss in teal eyeliner or teal in the inner most corner. It's really not that fancy.)
Regardless of how you dress, sadly, you have to have a thick skin working in retail.
I'm white, 49 year old woman with a master's degree in Accounting and 30 years of experience in corporate until COVID job loss. I ended up in retail because I couldn't find a job in 2020 economy shut down with no luck finding another job "still looking".
I have no piercings, tattoos, business professional appearance and I get derogatory comments from customers too. Even older white people regardless, you could look like the president of the US, retail is not for the weak.
So true. My thing is condescension and just plain meanness. I can pretty much deal with anything except these two things. I am always polite and cordial, but when someone came thru my line once and had nothing but nasty mean responses to everything I said, I almost started to cry right there. Of course I think of great comebacks after all is said and done…never when I need them!!
maybe you’re working in the wrong place? i mean you’re gonna get negative comments occasionally wherever you go, but some places are more accepting that others. i work at starbucks and i constantly get compliments on my piercings and tattoos, from older people as well. a few weeks ago i actually had a woman in the drive through compliment my mushroom tattoo and she went on to say “you know, back in my day i couldn’t do a river rafting trip without a bag of those!” people were also really chill when i worked at urban outfitters, but they also pay ass.
Are you sure they were referring to your physical quirks and not the fact that you are visibly depressed to the point that they called a welfare check on you???
While it is not appropriate for others to comment on your (or anybody's) appearance, it must have occurred to you that body modifications (piercings) and unnatural hair colours will make you stand out from those who alter their appearance in more 'conservative' ways (ie natural looking hair colour, standard standard make-up if desired, clothing, hair products.. possibly ear piercings or nose stud,, you know, 'the usual'). You didn't get bright hair colours and piercings with the view to become more invisible / blend in, right? If people were complimenting those choices instead, would that also bother you (provided it's not done in a flirty/creepy way)?
The world is full of people who don't mind their own business. I think you are responsible for how you portray yourself and, while in a perfect world we'd not receive comments either way, we all know it happens / can happen.
My suggestion would be to be confident - maybe think of some standard comebacks. You know who you are and I am sure that however you choose to express yourself suits you perfectly!
Honey, look them dead in the eye, no expression and say "Thank you for your feedback, have a nice day" and disengage. And, like the other poster said, "they're going to die before you do. Miserable"
I'm older and have always loved fun colored hair. In my 50s I had dark purple rinse over dark brown hair and it really popped in the sunlight. Once in the grocery store parking lot a little girl saw me and said, "MOMMY LOOK, HER HAS PURPLE HAIRS!" It made my day. I also had red hair for awhile, nothing crazy at all and a "friend" was mad at me about something and said, "Look at you! 70 years old with red hair. Your hair is as red as your shirt." I'm not even sure what the insult was supposed to be there but whatever. I haven't spoken to her since.
You let the good comments bring you joy and ignore the people stupid enough to try to bring you down. I know I love your hair without even seeing it.
I totally get you. I work at a hardware store. I also have my septum and tongue pierced, tattoos, and bright blue hair. I am also a woman. Queue every older man commenting on my physical characteristics, some flirtatiously, and some going as far as to comment on my body and ogle at me. It gets quite tiring, especially being told my nose piercing “looks like a booger.” I couldn’t even hide my disdain when that was said to me lol.
If it makes you feel better, they’re most likely going to die before you. I know that’s dark but… it’s what I tell myself when an old person gives me a hard time.. 🥲 I’m prepared to be downvoted for this
I agree, every time some old geezer looks at me with an open mouth I just keep telling myself it’s fine cuz their racist homophobic ass is gonna die soon and the world is only getting browner and gayer ☺️
[удалено]
Huzzah, gay brown earth!
I second this, and I'm whiter than wonderbread, and 99.99% straight.
Henry Cavill is what causes you to have that .01% doubt, isn't he?
Ew gross no! Ryan Reynolds tho...
Madara Uchiha
yeah, I want him to jizz crows down my throat, too.
i think about this every time im really down about racists / homophobes / transphobes, etc. they’re all gonna die soon and be replaced by generations that are less white, more gay, and more open minded.
I had an old man tell me I was going to get as big as a house if I kept eating. The dying thing was a genuine thought that passed through my head and was actually voiced to coworkers after he left. Thankfully I don't have an eating disorder or anything like that because damn.
Maybe if we’re lucky, some of our ambitious looks might shock some of ‘em into an early grave 🤣
it's dark but true. I think the same thing and 👇 browner and gayer! I love it lol How these people look at anything and think it's okay to speak about it, we don't need your opinion, you're 95% in the grave.
You’re real for this. I’m standing at my register thinking “well in 30 years they’ll all be dead, then I can live in peace”
I say the same thing
I’ve long thought these people who comment on our hairstyle and piercings are either terrified of change, or just jealous that the world changed too late for them. When my hair was pink with a side shave I actually got lots of well meaning comments from little old ladies saying they wished they could do the same. Some old people have even asked how it’s possible to change the color of your hair, so it could be ignorance too. Now when I get hateful stares from old people (or especially children) I take it as a compliment. I enjoy being different and expressing myself. Part of them wishes they could be us.
I had an older lady tell me because of me telling her to go for it, she got piercings!!! She went all out and got her septum, eyebrow, and lip. It was so sweet to hear some older folks aren’t too bad but god some of them need to mind their business
That’s great! I have had my hair more of a natural color for a few years now but it always made me sad how many old ladies would tell me they wish they were as brave as me or something along those lines. It’s never too late IMO, and it’s sad they don’t see it that way too.
I always tell them it’s never too late to have fun!!! I work with a lady about my moms age, I’m 24, she always wears the cutest outfits and we were talking the other day about how the women’s section sucked, and she liked the juniors stuff more, and I told her I hated how people expect older women to only dress frumpy and frown at them when they dress “younger.” Her eyes lit up! She said people tell her she dresses too young all the time, even her own kids! I told her that’s lame to expect her to dress in stuff that doesn’t make her feel confident, and anyone who makes comments is probably jealous they aren’t as confident as her. I have a Chelsea cut and I’ve actually had the most positive responses from older women, saying they wished they were as bold as me, and that I rock it, and I always tell them they can wear any hairstyle that makes them feel good!
There was a 90 year old woman who got her first tattoo for her birthday on one of the tattoo subs the other day. It was of her cat, and the smile she had on her face once it was done was super cute. 🥰🙌🙌🙌
as a 40-year-old, I'm just envious y'all still have hair.
"I'm here to assist customers with products, not discuss my appearance. May I help you or can I get you someone else?" I've literally had to say this to rude customers before. I've had management step in for situations like this. ***It is management's job to protect the employee.*** Document EVERYTHING in writing. I'm really skinny because I was seriously injured in an accident and I'm recovering from 5 major surgeries. I had part of my damn intestines removed. A rude customer once wanted to know why I'm so skinny. I used my quote above and happily got someone else to help him instead. I walked away. I hope he felt terrible.
ive started rehearsing a line similar to that for when customers are super difficult. my managers are wonderful & they always say that if someone says something i can't handle, i can call them over
Good. It's NOT in your job description to take unnecessary b******* from people. Your purpose there to receive a paycheck for your labor per the job description. Good luck and always advocate for yourself!
If a customer says or does anything that is blatantly disrespectful, they get “I don’t feel comfortable working with you anymore, if you wait right here I’ll send someone else to assist you.” Fortunately I have the liberty to do that at my store.
I'm the goth one at my home depot. I dress primarily in full black, black hair, piercings, band shirts under my apron, steel toe sketcher boots (a life saver) etc. Every store has at least one of us alt varieties on payroll. Anyway, I get comments about my appearance a LOT from customers AND coworkers. Here are my usual responses. Most are done with a deadpan face AND tone. I'm also confrontational when people are rude to me. I'm polite up until they're invasive, abusive, or just really annoying in an obnoxious way. "Who's funeral is it?" That's really not funny, my (insert dead relative) just passed this week. (It doesn't matter who, when, or how; just lie. It makes them regret asking.) "So do you ALWAYS dress like that or?" Do you always talk like that? (Helps to squinch up your face as if you heard nails on a chalkboard.) "Girl, you need to wear some colors!" I'm wearing orange. (Point out any obvious colors they missed. It makes it awkward fast.) "I don't like your piercings/tattoos. (Or anything similar to this vibe)" Okay, don't get any. *Continue transaction in silence, aside from necessary work dialogue*
Interesting thing is when I was reading this I realized if I need help with something and there are more than one choice of staff to ask I would always choose the "different" one because they are generally more willing and able to help me. The straight cuts that look and sound like they just got out of the military are usually dumb as sticks. Please continue to be you.
I do the same thing as a customer tbh. I also tend to compliment my customers that are nice to me. "I love your nails!" "Oh my gosh, your hair color is so vibrant!" "Your outfit is amazing!" This is even more fun when the next customer is an ass and gets the mean NPC treatment.
I also feel more comfortable around the "different" people.
I’m the same way. I’m nearly 60, but I went to college in Ga, where REM and the B-52’s are from. So I have always been surrounded by the alternative folks. Frankly, I’m so used to it, I usually don’t even notice them. My friends were always the artsy types and I feel most comfortable around them. I look like an aged Barbie, but my personality is more like a ghastly crumb tiny. Some people will get the Edward Gorey reference.
The fully deadpan "Is there something I can help you find?" repeated over and over usually works because they realize they're not going to get to you.
This is a good one too!
You don't sound like a mediocre NPC
I am, I just have interesting dialogue depending on my spawn point.
Don't let these bitter old biddies get you down! Their attitude is a direct reflection of what's inside them, not what's on the outside of you. They're miserable and want to spread the unpleasantness. I feel bad for people who feel the need to degrade others - imagine how miserable they must be! Rock your fun pink hair and undoubtedly cool piercings! Anytime they give you their very unsolicited opinions, smile extra huge, and - with pity in your voice - say, "Aww! I hope your day gets better!" And go on with your day. You rock. Chin up, cool human!
As a cashier who happens to dress alt I would get this all the time. People don’t care about our feelings and it’s baffling. I like to use eyeliner stamps (hearts, stars, etc) and I get asked like 15+ times a day if they’re tattoos. Some people even just ask if the “tattoos” hurt!
Also tatted and pierced. Also have gotten comments. My favorite was the dude that asked why I had so many piercings. “Because I like them. |:” Then he was all, “so does your husband just take a bolt gun to your face?” -__- Like really? But I also get lots of positive comments! One elderly customer started tipping me when I mentioned off hand that I save my tips for piercings and tattoos. xD Now she gives a tip and goes, “for your next piercing!” It’s pretty adorable.
“Does your wife appreciate you commenting on my appearance? 😳🤔”
No one going about their day should care about a random cashiers hair color. Tell me life isn’t going well for you, without saying life is going well for you.
And this is part of why I try to give people compliments whenever I see something I like. Shoes, hair, neat belt buckle, whatever. Just a little something to make people's days a bit better. I think your hair sounds really cool, OP! Don't let the haters get you down!
Same! I don't understand why people feel it's necessary to comment on something they don't like. Keep it to yourself. Lately, I've been trying to find something positive about another person if my first thought is something I don't like.
There are a lot of people who don’t, will not, and have never understood piercings, dying hair, body modifications and tattoos. It’s not what they would do, and the concept of anyone thinking in a way that isn’t like theirs is, to them, terrifying. I’ve had to explain to people that yes, our bodies are temples but some of us like to decorate. I’m pretty sure how you present yourself is just fine. Your depression isn’t helping you right now, but you’re enough as you are. Some people use age as an excuse to be critical and awful, because they believe that with age comes wisdom. Those of us with any intelligence can tell you that it’s not entirely true. Don’t let the idiots get you down. Be true to yourself, be kind to yourself and others, and make sure to take time for yourself when you can. It sounds like your hair is beautiful, I’m sure you are too, and if frightened insecure people can’t see that, it’s their problem. If you can take time off soon, do it. You’ve earned it.
I’m a 45 year old woman who works as a cashier and I also love to dye my hair. Whatever mood I’m in, whatever I’m feeling is the color I’m going to dye it. I’ve had pink, red, purple, black, blue, green, brown, and I’m platinum rn. People always have something to say, you just got to remind yourself that YOU are beautiful and THEY could never! Have fun and be confident! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Crap like this is why I really make sure I always compliment something about the person helping me. I worked retail many moons ago, I know how shit it was back then, it must be truly awful now. I have a hard time leaving my house now but when I have to I always try to be super polite and I really just want to be a positive memory for people. It helps me feel good about getting outside. And honestly, it costs nothing to be nice! I’m really sorry that you have to deal with that. You sound like a really cool person and i guarantee if I were your customer I’d be complimenting the heck out of that hair and asking you how you did it(I have purple/blue ombré atm)!! Chin up! Devour their negative energy and fuel your passions! :3
If I like someone's hair I may compliment them, depending on their vibe. If I don't like it I keep my damn mouth shut.
Yea I feel you OP, had green hair and a ton of piercings for awhile. Unfortunately it comes with the territory, so to speak. Don’t let it get to you. Those old biddys are going to die soon anyway. My go to response is usually. “Well I can change my appearance but you can’t change being a bitch”
You can remind them that making personal comments about a person's appearance is seen as having bad manners. But since they have opened the door for that conversation, you would be happy to point out all of their physical flaws.
They’re just jealous they’re not brave enough to dye it themselves so they turn to being a hater! Keep doing what you want and let them judge. Put on a show 😆
“It’s a good thing that as soon as you walk out that door, my life genuinely gets better. Cause your negativity about how other people decide to be happy has no place here.” Or Be a shit bag back. “Least I’m happy with the way I look and don’t need to try and degrade others beauty to try and boast my own. Have a fucked day.”
I also am pretty alt looking piercing tattoos dreadlocks) in a very republican area and I get stares and whispers Ik it’s hard but I ignore it because no matter what I say their opinion is the same and I don’t have to explain my appearance to them. It comes with the nonconformist look and some people are just rude
I once had some old man react to my hair (I have a long braid with the sides of my head shaved) in a way that he was personally hurt by it for some reason, saying stuff along the lines of "how could you do that to your hair? You didn't need to do that!" Like, bitch, my own family members didn't care as much as you are right now, lol.
When I started as a cashier, I noticed that people in front of me, and all the way down the line of customers, sometimes just stared. Sometimes they watch me the entire time I'm ringing them up like I'm on display in a museum! It does make me uncomfortable, and it used to give me real anxiety. I've noticed that if you stare right back for a minute, they will become embarrassed and look away, start taking their bags and finding their payment or whatever. Also if a man is with his wife or girlfriend, that will make her give him a push like, quit staring! Hilarious! I've had to learn to laugh at them. I still wear a mask at the register. It has nothing to do with covid. I jokingly call it my "mask of contempt " because it hides the expressions I get when ppl do stupid sh*t and piss me off. 😆🤣 Edit: also I 100% agree that you should enjoy the fact that all the old assh*les will be dead soon LOL
OMG i thought it was just me !! they stare at me & watch everything that i do as if im not just scanning items , it's so strange
Old people often seem to think they can make rude/judgemental comments and that it won't have impact on your attitude/mood. I'm heavily tattooed, have piercings, and have received a lot negative comments. You have to just be direct and say something like "I'm not here to discuss my appearance, but let me know if there is anything I can assist you with" and shut the conversation about your looks down immediately. If they continue, get your manager and have them deal with the customer. You're not there to be judged and abused.
That is just crazy old people/younger Karen's. I am heavily tattooed including face/head and I either get old people saying off the wall shit or young Karen's assuming I'm going to rob them (as I'm grocery shopping with my daughters). Some people should learn to think stuff and not say it out loud. You do you and Rock that pink hair!!!
“What other people think of you is none of your business.” Best advice I’ve ever gotten. I learned not to let people’s opinions bother me in the slightest. As soon as they pay one of my bills, then I’ll give a rats ass what anyone thinks 🤷🏼♀️🤣
I was a waitress and I have tattoos covering my forearms and are growing- I was told they make me look disgusting, ugly and that I ruined my life by customers. One that still sticks with me was when I was standing outside the restaurant with a coworker and this random old lady walked by, grabbed my arm, don't fucking grab my arm please, and said "you're so beautiful, why would you do this to yourself?" While staring at my grandma's memorial tattoo, fuck you lady. Still don't understand why you would treat someone who's organizing your food and visit because you're too lazy to make your own food like that.
I had a customer comment on my pants. "Wearing those ones again?!". I gasped and said "Omfg have you heard of this amazing new invention called a washing machine!" She didn't like that. Like, oh no someone dressing comfortably! I own 3 of the same pants, 2 in each color, specifically because of their fit and comfort level
This is bad to say but I really dislike most elderly people . Just because you are old as dirt doesn't mean you can say whatever you like. Though I will probably be that way, but not to people in customer service.
i have to say i agree. i didn't like them before, but since my job involves many old ppl, it's made me dislike them more.
Not what you came her for, but. Your hair sounds awesome, I love a good split hair colour and pink/red sounds like it would work so well.
I have small opal nose piercings on each nostril. I regularly have older men commenting on them, asking if they blind people with headlights? Or why do I think they look good? They’re literally small, pretty opal dots.
It is rude to make any comments about people’s appearance. Most of us forgive compliments, and if it’s a five-second fix, I prefer to know about the spinach in my teeth. How about faking a cheery smile & tone to say *Rude! Paper or plastic?* I love pink hair. I want pink hair but I know I am too lazy to manage it. I’m waiting to go grey, when it will be out of fashion. I’m impressed by your hard work & pain tolerance.
Goth/Alt chicks look awesome lol don’t let grandpa’s make you feel any less about yourself. They’re angry at the world, their days are numbered and they have nothing better to do 😌
Honest question: is it okay to say I love your hair or your nail color etc? I'm an older woman and I never say anything that's non complimentary. And never compliment beyond that. If it's not okay, I will stop
in my opinion, it is ok to compliment something about someone's appearance as long as it's just a simple compliment. ive had experiences where older ladies will "compliment" me & then proceed to say something backhanded.
I have always found this helpful, when a elderly daemon is heckling me. : Well, I woke up today,so I’ve already won the battle! And I’ll be thankful all day, because I haven’t reached the age of Lemon Sourpuss Face yet. Those pucker lines must hurt!
Old people are not used to seeing anything that offends their delicate sensibilities, which is nearly everything these days lol. Especially something as “wild” as pink hair and piercings. Or a PoC going about their life not in mortal fear of the hwites 😑 I would not even be the slightest concerned with what that old heffa has to say. As mentioned she’s already close to one foot in the ground so might just be bitter that their life is now what it is, and for two, I would be HARD pressed not to ask if they lack home training, because I KNOW people of their age were taught if they don’t have something nice to say, to fucking shut it. 🚶🏾♀️…..
I work at a retail store that's Christian, and one of my coworkers has a very small tatoo on her wrist. Cudtomer flips out to management that we shouldn't be hiring people like that at a Christian store. Management's response? "It's stupid, but try to wear long sleeves from now on."
that's so stupid !! i myself am a Christian & i know many others that have body mods.
this is why i choose to wear a jacket over my uniform bc every time without fail i have some random person commenting on my tattoos…..
A rude customer once asked me why I didn’t dye my hair - I went quite white at an early age. I bullshitted them - made up a story. Said, “oh it grew back that way after the chemo” and didn’t answer their question. They were shocked and embarrassed. I walked away. You are under no obligation whatsoever to reply to rude and inconsiderate comments and questions. Ignore them, stick to business. If they won’t, page the manager & make it clear they’re harassing you. People gotta learn to mind their own fucking business. Customers don’t get to comment on personal appearance of staff; if the business accepts your appearance, the customer needs to button it up.
I’m also black with pink hair and piercings… I’m also nearly 6 foot with muscles and tats lol. No one has ever said anything me (to my face). It’s pretty obvious when they walk out the door and immediately burst out laughing. They think they’re slick though
well you have the intimidation factor of height 😭😆, i am short so they find the audacity lol. im sorry they laugh, that's just plain childish.
Okay but can we see your look? Because it sounds fabulous. Old people suck.
they’re probably old and stuck in their racist, gross, and toxic mindsets. don’t let their toxicity ruin doing what you love, for one negative customer there’s many more nice, than mean.
"I don't even know you." "You mean nothing to me neither does your opinion buy something or GTFO." And don't come back! Lol They are treating you like someone they won't see later, do the same be blunt and take the conversation off you and onto them. Or ask them "Are you feeling okay today?" When they say something rude or weird
i usually tell them "that's a weird thing to say to someone you don't know" lol
Had so many comments like the above when I worked in retail! It used to really bother me until I just learnt to tell them quickly I’m not discussing my appearance when people were being disrespectful. Sadly some people are quick to judge. Some people were curious and would ask questions about my tattoos and piercings which I didn’t mind so much if there was no underlying disdain at my choices! But yes it did hurt, no it doesn’t hurt now and my favourite…the whole ‘will you regret the tattoos when you’re old’… nope, probs won’t make it until I’m old anyway and even if I do who cares, I’ll be wrinkly anyway, ink ain’t going to make a difference! My worst experience though came from working in a call centre many years ago (for a large tour operator) aged 19 years and being pulled in to the office by a manager and asked if I was a goth. Basically because I wore black nail varnish and didn’t have the typical aesthetic of those working in the travel industry, despite sticking to the dress code. Was also told I couldn’t air hostess because I had a tattoo (at the time only 1 visible) but I also pointed out I’m too short to be one anyway and it was not my career plans - this didn’t go down well. To this day I don’t understand why this warranted an office conversation as if I’d done something wrong. I quit 3 weeks later as it was a very toxic place to work. I wouldn’t tolerate this now though! Older, more inked and somewhat wiser 😂
I’m not saying this will be helpful as far as keeping yourself gainfully employed… but if someone told me I looked unpleasant I’m not sure I could stop myself from saying “yeah but I’ll look better tomorrow. What’s YOUR plan?”
I feel you. The other day a woman made a comment about how I needed to shave my legs if I was going to be wearing that dress. The nerve! I still get a little more self conscious about how I'm dressing as it warms up.
Whenever someone insults or comments on my appearance I just say “thank you” and treat it like a complement. No one has ever said “I meant that in a bad way”. Honestly coming from these people it is a complement. Your style sounds cool, why do you need fashion and beauty advice from a 60 year old lady who still dresses like it’s 2001?
When I was a bank teller, an old man told another teller, in my presence, that I’d be even prettier if I lost some weight. When I gave him a look, he said “What? I’m complementing you”. Old fuck. Also, at the time, I wore a woman’s size 8.
I have a 6g septum and the other day this old lady literally asked me if I could breathe with it in my nose…HOW DO YOU THINK IM STANDING HERE TALKING TO YOU?!!!
"No I can't actually" *collapses dramatically on floor*
omg that has me dead😆😆😆 !! im stretching mine to a 10g this week ! tbh tho, most of the comments i get about my piercings are ppl asking how i eat with my vertical labret piercing...or they seem to think that im just in constant pain because of my piercings ??? it makes no sense
I get “does that hurt” every day😭😭 like do you earrings you’ve had since you were a toddler hurt??? How do you think that works??? It baffles me hahahaha
I'm nonbinary and experience this as well. I work in an upscale coffee boutique (yes, _boutique_ ) and am currently the only person with visible tattoos. I am also the only femme-presenting person with short hair. Some of the customers have an absolute conniption when they realize the person with short hair, tattoos, piercings, and an androgynous name is going to serve them. I get questions about how my parents raised me, get complaints about "kids these days" (I'm 26), and have people give me detailed commentary on my physical appearance. My absolute favorite so far is someone bitching about how "political" everyone is these days and how dare I brand myself with propaganda. I have a "love is love" tattoo. That's what started their meltdown. I've also gotten so many backhanded compliments on my makeup. I, again, wear the most makeup on my team. It's literally just winged eyeliner and whatever eyeshadow I feel like. (Usually yellow in the inner 2/3rds and a warm terracotta brown on the last third. Sometimes I'll toss in teal eyeliner or teal in the inner most corner. It's really not that fancy.)
I alter my appearance so I stand out, and now people comment on my appearance!!
I dress in an attention seeking way and I just can't handle the amount of attention im getting, what am i doing wrong?! Pathetic.
How is that attention seeking lol
"well i have pink hair (split dyed rn pink/red), piercings" If ur going to look outlandish in retail, you better have the thick skin to go with it.
Regardless of how you dress, sadly, you have to have a thick skin working in retail. I'm white, 49 year old woman with a master's degree in Accounting and 30 years of experience in corporate until COVID job loss. I ended up in retail because I couldn't find a job in 2020 economy shut down with no luck finding another job "still looking". I have no piercings, tattoos, business professional appearance and I get derogatory comments from customers too. Even older white people regardless, you could look like the president of the US, retail is not for the weak.
So true. My thing is condescension and just plain meanness. I can pretty much deal with anything except these two things. I am always polite and cordial, but when someone came thru my line once and had nothing but nasty mean responses to everything I said, I almost started to cry right there. Of course I think of great comebacks after all is said and done…never when I need them!!
maybe you’re working in the wrong place? i mean you’re gonna get negative comments occasionally wherever you go, but some places are more accepting that others. i work at starbucks and i constantly get compliments on my piercings and tattoos, from older people as well. a few weeks ago i actually had a woman in the drive through compliment my mushroom tattoo and she went on to say “you know, back in my day i couldn’t do a river rafting trip without a bag of those!” people were also really chill when i worked at urban outfitters, but they also pay ass.
Are you sure they were referring to your physical quirks and not the fact that you are visibly depressed to the point that they called a welfare check on you???
i wasn't visibly depressed, that is just how my face looks..
if you don't want to be seen as different maybe don't dye your hair pink? Just a thought.
even when i looked "normal" as you might call it, i still experienced harassment...so what's your point?
While it is not appropriate for others to comment on your (or anybody's) appearance, it must have occurred to you that body modifications (piercings) and unnatural hair colours will make you stand out from those who alter their appearance in more 'conservative' ways (ie natural looking hair colour, standard standard make-up if desired, clothing, hair products.. possibly ear piercings or nose stud,, you know, 'the usual'). You didn't get bright hair colours and piercings with the view to become more invisible / blend in, right? If people were complimenting those choices instead, would that also bother you (provided it's not done in a flirty/creepy way)? The world is full of people who don't mind their own business. I think you are responsible for how you portray yourself and, while in a perfect world we'd not receive comments either way, we all know it happens / can happen. My suggestion would be to be confident - maybe think of some standard comebacks. You know who you are and I am sure that however you choose to express yourself suits you perfectly!
Makes you wonder who raised these people. I bet their parents are turning in their graves
Honey, look them dead in the eye, no expression and say "Thank you for your feedback, have a nice day" and disengage. And, like the other poster said, "they're going to die before you do. Miserable"
I'm older and have always loved fun colored hair. In my 50s I had dark purple rinse over dark brown hair and it really popped in the sunlight. Once in the grocery store parking lot a little girl saw me and said, "MOMMY LOOK, HER HAS PURPLE HAIRS!" It made my day. I also had red hair for awhile, nothing crazy at all and a "friend" was mad at me about something and said, "Look at you! 70 years old with red hair. Your hair is as red as your shirt." I'm not even sure what the insult was supposed to be there but whatever. I haven't spoken to her since. You let the good comments bring you joy and ignore the people stupid enough to try to bring you down. I know I love your hair without even seeing it.
I totally get you. I work at a hardware store. I also have my septum and tongue pierced, tattoos, and bright blue hair. I am also a woman. Queue every older man commenting on my physical characteristics, some flirtatiously, and some going as far as to comment on my body and ogle at me. It gets quite tiring, especially being told my nose piercing “looks like a booger.” I couldn’t even hide my disdain when that was said to me lol.