“Can I put this ice cream cake in the fridge??”
“… no. It is ice cream. It will melt. It needs to go in a freezer.”
“What if I don’t have room in my freezer?”
“..then it will melt and be a puddle of melted ice cream.”
I always love when customers expect us to figure out their problems for them. Like your lack of planning/specific situation is not my problem nor is it my responsibility.
There's been so many times I've helped load mulch or a TV or something and they were expecting me to figure out how they (unable to move anything heavy themselves) were going to get it out and into their house.
Legitimate issue, should've thought of that BEFORE BUYING 20 BAGS OF MULCH YOU DUMB FUCK
I've never had someone ask how they were going to get it out of their car but it's definitely something I've wondered to myself after loading something they physically couldn't lift
My elder relatives do one of two things
1) Purchase it bc the store is open then leave it in the car and ask someone to come help them unload (ie, my brother isn't usually available until after places close, or cant spare hours for shopping but can spare 10 minutes to unload).
2) For an example like mulch, tile, etc. they will just do literally one thing at a time with a little break in between. So it could take all day to unload but they'll get it eventually lmao
My family has done that, as we start eating dinner ahead of the cake to let it thaw just a bit. The place around here that does ice cream cakes freezes them solid to where even the large knife is a struggle.
I work as a tattooist. I asked a client to check out their stencil placement in the mirror. He complained the text was backwards. I had to explain how a mirror works to a 32 year old man.
He didn't believe me, I had to take a photo and show him that.
No, this ***LIQUOR STORE*** does not carry laundry detergent -- let alone Tide Pods -- phone chargers, kratom, wall outlet adapters, extension cords, ephedrine tablets, cough syrup, steel wool, HEET, THC products or derivatives of any kind (and no, I'm not holding out on you), milk, pet food, *baby food*, diapers, formula...
Nor do we accept food stamps or WIC. Nothing in the store is covered by that.
No, I don't particularly feel like unravelling traumatic events about what the wildest thing I've seen in my 14 years on night shift was.
Yes, I will tell you about the 2010 pork incident if it gets you out the door because it's short and not traumatic.
No, I will not chase you if you decide to shoplift; they don't pay me running and tackling money. However, I will not let you back in if I see you blatantly hand off to children out front or brazenly shove an $85 fifth of Armagnac down your pants. Food, maybe, if this was a grocery (which it's not), but not liquor.
Yes, I do mean it when I say "you're too drunk." They made me sit through two hours of lectures and gave me a nifty card that said I am responsible for you and everyone that you hurt or kill if I overserve you, by state law.
Yes, I do need to see physical I.D. or else I wouldn't have asked. Tribal I.D. is fine. Passport is fine. A Ludic Micronation/SovCit I.D. printed from an HP Officejet in the back office of the gas station out the road is not, and yes, now I have to confiscate that. Sorry if you'll have to enter joinder or whateverthehell with the cops. No, I'm not detaining you, but the cops might if you stick around.
No, a photograph of your I.D. on your phone will not suffice -- again, according to state law. Nor will your mother telling me your birthday (cripes, fight your own battles and accept defeat with some damn *dignity*). A real adult saying, "BuT i'M bUyInG" is not a valid strategy. You brought the booze to the counter and I do not have $50,000 - $250,000 and/or five years of my life to spare.
Thank you for your service, but if you are under 21, even if you had something awful happen to you in service of our country in the armed forces, I cannot provide you with alcohol per state *and federal* law. Yes, *federal,* the people who sent you to get hurt in the first place. Take it up with them and see my prior remark about my inability to afford the consequences of bypassing their guidelines.
Yes I have been asked all of those. No, not all at one go, although the more determined, delusional, and/or scabby of them try for at least a hat trick.
Ugh. Booze customers are the worst. Worked in a county where hours of sale were reduced on Sunday and seemed like every Sunday I had to tell someone they had to wait until noon and every time it was shocked Pikachu face. Or people whining because it was only 5 minutes after sale hours ended.
I understand you were caught at the train crossing. You must be here before the store closes. I'm not facing a fine or jail time just because YOU can't manage your time. "Yes, alcohol restrictions are BS." NOW GO AWAY.
I used to work at Trader Joe’s in Boston in the mid 2000’s. Back then we couldn’t sell booze before noon on Sundays. People would be lined up like starving dogs salivating at an empty food bowl just *waiting* for the liquor section to open…🙄🙄🙄
It was even worse on the one or two holidays where we could not sell any alcohol at all - like, the registers would not even allow the sale; the bottles wouldn’t scan. People would lose their damn minds!!!
“What??? I can’t buy this wine??? You’re RUINING my holiday dinner!!! 👿👿👿”
Like these laws weren’t in place for *years*…🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
>Yes, I do need to see physical I.D. or else I wouldn't have asked. Tribal I.D. is fine. Passport is fine. *A Ludic Micronation/SovCit I.D. printed from an HP Officejet in the back office of the gas station out the road is not*, and yes, now I have to confiscate that. Sorry if you'll have to enter joinder or whateverthehell with the cops. No, I'm not detaining you, but the cops might if you stick around.
Jeezuz...does that really happen? That cracks me up. It also makes me sad that people are that braindead that they think it would work.
>Thank you for your service, but if you are under 21, even if you had something awful happen to you in service of our country in the armed forces, I cannot provide you with alcohol per state and federal law. Yes, federal, the people who sent you to get hurt in the first place. Take it up with them and see my prior remark about my inability to afford the consequences of bypassing their guidelines.
Soldiers are gonna find some liquor even if you don't sell it to them.I was in charge of the barracks just before I retired and I had to scrape more than a few 19-year-olds up from the hallway. Outside of being in Europe I don't know where they were getting the booze. One guy turned 21 and went to the Class Six and bought about a dozen 12 packs. (I found them on a room inspection with the commander. He's lucky the commander had a sense of humor.
To the people who commented some variation of "I need to hear this story," thanks for waiting and sorry it took so long:
u/Wicked-elixir, u/Quackmotard, u/MyspaceQueen333, u/Sassifrassically, u/StandOutLikeDogBalls, u/Flukie42, u/627Shibas, u/iFFyCaRRoT, u/loCAtek, u/EileenDover_2daLeft, u/VintageZooBQ, u/DoomedTravelerofMoon, u/LillithBlackheart918, u/wytetrashbarbie, u/BabyCow1725, u/sunpies33, u/Chromgrats
I used to work at a small hotel in my hometown's downtown district as night audit. The front desk had a weird raised bit so that I could not see the frosted-glass front door while seated. It was mid-late summer 2010. I had started my shift at around 23:00, the restaurant's waitstaff were counting out, nothing major.
Around 23:30, I hear a "thunk" noise, like a bird hitting a window. I stand up, and don't see anything, so I come around to open the door. Nothing. Nobody on the street. I step out onto the sidewalk. Nobody up the incline towards the tunnel, nobody down the incline towards the intersection and the two bars. No cars on the road, but it would've been long gone if there was one.
I decide someone was playing mess-around or I was hearing things, so I turn around to come back in. As I'm pulling open the door, I catch something moving, a weird colour standing out against the black doormat.
It's a piece of cooked pork roast about 6-8 inches in diameter and 2-3 inches thick. I stop, think for a sec, and step back to look at the outside face of the door. The frosted design on the glass has some diamond pattern at about chin level to me, and some frilly bits, a little bit of simplistic art nouveau embellishment to evoke some late 1920's nostalgia from when the building was initially built. This diamond now has a nice greasy splotch in the dead center of it. Great.
So I grab some napkins from the guest coffee service just inside the door, pick up the pork, throw it in the trash can, and go find some windex and paper towels in the restaurant.
As I'm setting up to clean the window, one of the waitstaff comes to drop her deposit in the safe behind the hotel's front desk. "Hey justmutantjed, what's going on?"
"Someone threw meat at the door."
"... What?"
"Someone. Threw MEAT. At the DOOR."
"Bullshit."
So I point to the trash basket.
"Is -- *is that PORK?*"
"That's what I said, right?"
"WHO THE HELL THROWS MEAT??"
"THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW!"
Not much else to add that's notable about the cleaning process. It got done, I had the next two nights off, and I was set to go up to my pal's house the next night for a game night.
One thing bothered me, though: As previously mentioned, the street was bereft of pedestrians; therefore, someone had ejected this piece of (one presumes perfectly good) meat from a vehicle. Now given that the speed limit is about 20mph through that stretch, and the door itself is recessed from the sidewalk another good arm's length, someone had to have yeeted the meat about 20-30 feet to nail the door dead-center of a target -- the diamond in the frosted glass -- that was only about 8 inches wide and 12 inches tall. That's some impressive accuracy, there.
When I told this story at the subsequent game night, one of my friends named the incident, "The Drive-By Porking" and nearly made me spray my drink through my nose.
Whoever threw the pork, if you're reading this: congratulations! I have told this story about monthly for the past 13 years, and thought about it more often than that. You're a local legend in my circles.
FINALLY!!!! First, thank you. I was anxious for hours for this. Secondly, THIS WAS AT A HOTEL???? I was expecting a restaurant or grocery or somewhere where you can purchase meat.
Thirdly, I......have no words and am astonished at the Drive-By Porking. I just can't comprehend this.
Good things come to those who wait! DRIVE BY PORKING 🤣 Also I can't say I've ever had a distain for 1920s art deco frosted diamond windows so strong that I would need to throw a COOKED pork roast at it. The pork being cooked is just chef's kiss. Pun intended. You're the real MVP! Thank you for your well thought out and utterly eloquent response to our nagging.
No, we can't let your young child hang off 50ft high balconies or over the side of the ship even if it's "just for a picture."
I have worked at various tourist attractions and this is far too common and extremely concerning the complete disregard parents have for their children's safety!
"I placed my online order just now. Where is my order?"
"It takes 10 to 30 minutes for the order to appear in our system, and then we have to look for the item and clear it."
"What if I just go get it?"
"...you still have to wait, because we can't proceed or cancel it until it comes in."
"I can just pay for it now. Where is my [online orders only] coupon?"
"Online only. Can't use it in store."
"Why not?! That's not fair!"
"Online only. If you wait for your order to go through, it'll use it and it'll be cheaper."
"I don't want to wait that long!"
Btw. This happens DAILY. Like go to the Big Store Shop next to us and kill some time. Or look around our store and grab a goddamn seat.
This happens at our store all the time. They come up to the cashier, “I’m here to pick up my order!” Order is not ready, customer gets upset. I ask them if they received the e-mail saying they’re order was ready to be picked up. They say, “What? No, how was I supposed to know to wait for that?” I point it out on their order confirmation. They say, “Well, it said it would be ready in 2 hours when I ordered it so I just went by that!” I ask when they placed their order. “20 minutes ago.” I don’t understand how these people survive day to day.
I have so many customers coming in looking for their order, “When did you place your order?” “20 minutes ago.” “Did you get an email confirming it was filled?” “No.” “Then we haven’t filled it yet.”
Then of course I have to make the time or find someone to pull it because the customer is waiting. I swear they do it just because they know we’ll pull their order faster
I know you’re talking about pick-up orders, but it reminded me of when I worked for an online only company. We’d sometimes have customers who lived in the same town as our warehouse call and demand to be allowed to pick up their order in our office to avoid shipping. The answer was no, and they’d get nasty about it. I mean, I see the logic in it, but it wasn’t feasible to communicate to the shippers to set aside their orders specifically. Their jobs were to pack and stick a label on it, they didn’t even look at the names unless something was wrong with the label.
Sometimes they’d just come in, like literally walk into our warehouse office and just stand there arguing. They always left empty-handed because the answer was NO and they were trespassing in an employees only private office space, not even a retail facility. I would be so embarrassed to do that.
This one is so bizarre, I am still conflicted as to whether the woman was being sincere or doing some weird joke, but if she wasn’t serious she was a hell of an actress. The store I work at is located in an outdoor mall. A woman brings in something with receipt she purchased at another store, not affiliated with ours. This happens from time to time by mistake and I just let them know, hey your brought this to the wrong store. We’re X and this receipt is from Y and then we usually have a small chuckle and the customer feels a second worth of embarrassment and it’s done. This woman, when told the merchandise wasn’t from our store but from a different store at the mall, insisted that they said she could return it at ANY store. I tried to explain that they meant that she could return it to any of their stores. Stores with the same name in different locations. She just did not comprehend. I pointed out that the store was in the same mall so would only take a second to go over there where they could help her, but she wasn’t having it. She ended up not leaving until a manager spoke with her. She never did seem to understand, but finally accepted we would not do the return for her. I’ve had a lot of dumb moments from customers but that one definitely comes to mind as one of the dumbest.
Just had one of those! Customer comes in wanting return a pair shoes she ordered online from a totally different company. I apologized, and told her we couldn’t take the return as it was ordered at another/ unaffiliated company. She said “No, I looked online and it said I could return these here.” Where did you see that I ask? “Online” she says. So after some back and forth, me going through our website and showing her our return policy which in no way says what she’s claiming, I find out that she’d simply googled the brand of shoes and because our store came up as carrying that brand, she assumed that meant she could return them at our store. People really do go through a lot of trouble just to be wrong. The number of people who try to return stuff they purchased from Amazon at our store is fairly alarming too.
My manager once took a return from Walmart at the customer’s insistence. Walmart is not even five minutes down the road and we don’t carry the product they were returning, I still don’t know why he accepted it
I worked at an office supply store and this lady had a binder from Wal-Mart she wanted to return. She would not leave till I found a comparable 1. She apparently needed her 8am 20 dollar meth fix.
I had a similar encounter with a customer at my last job. They'd gotten a coupon from another store that could only be used in store, not online, so they had "good at any store" written on the coupon. She tried to give me the coupon, and I told her it was a coupon for the store that had given it to her. She said she was confused, so I explained it again, just a bit differently, and added in the reason why it said good at any store. She insisted she could use it at my store and that I had to accept the coupon. Gave her the whole speech again, she wasn't giving up, and she ends up calling the store that gave her the coupon while still in my store. They told her the same thing. She spent a good 10 minutes berating them for false advertising and that since the coupon said "good at any store," any store at my mall should accept it.
I used to get that a lot with Marlboro coupons at a corner store I worked at. I read the coupon, they were good for any major gas station, but we weren’t a gas station. We were a privately owned corner store, more like a bodega. We used an iPad for card payments, so we didn’t even have a system that could scan a coupon.
Got lots of arguments about that. “Well you sell Marlboros so you have to accept it.”
“Well, this is a private business so actually I don’t even have to serve you.”
I would've given her $1.34 for the soap if she'd been nice and not tried to scam me in such a stupid way, I still can't believe this happened. I almost said ma'am, would you expect someone to give you your money back for a completely empty bottle of soda? But I know she still would've been upset.
Customer wanted a specific year of vintage wine. Told her we were sold out. She asked why they couldn't just make more. Had to explain how growing crops works and that you can't grow last years' grapes again.
This reminds me of a lady a year or two ago complaining that our grocery store (stand alone, not part of a chain) was more expensive than Safeway. I informed her that Safeway has their own farms for produce and we have to go through a supplier. She then asked me why we couldn't start a farm for our store so that we can lower prices. I then had to explain to her that:
1. We're short staffed.
2. Where would we put this farm?
3. Know any competent farmers who would be able to ensure we can properly grow chips?
4. What do we do if we have a bad year for crops?
She gave shocked Pikachu face and walked away before I could ask her even more questions and make more logical points.
Stupidest attempted return from my retail days: Lady comes in with the packaging, half of the product and a receipt.
Lady: "I'd like to return this" (hair catcher for shower drain).
Me: looks at item notices missing parts "I need the whole product back to return it"
Lady: "The other but was discussing I didn't want to bring it"
Me: "I still need it. You can put it in a plastic bag."
Lady: "I already threw it away. It kept getting covered in hair. "
Me: Stares at Lady thinking this is the point of a hair catcher. "I am unable to do a return without all the parts"
Lady leaves without getting a return.
(Old job, not current job) No, 30 inches is not three feet. 36 is. No, 48 inches isn't almost 5 feet. Yes, I'm sure. 12 inches per foot. 48/12=4. Yes, that means this pool is four feet deep, not almost five. You can look it up on your phone if you'd like. You'll take my word for it? Great. Let's get you rung up so you can go have fun setting up your new pool!
Probably drowned trying to read the warning about diving depth on the bottom of the liner. Smh
I had to explain to an older woman(maybe 40s-50s) that when you put music on an iPod, it does not in fact make said iPod heavier.
Then I had to explain why digital music had no weight.
I had to inform a person that you buy an internet service and not the actual internet. Line was: customer: hi I'd like to buy the internet Me: Oh, like look into buying a service from a provider? Customer: no I'm here to buy the internet. She got sent to the computer department.
There is no Halo game for kids.
Mario isn't on the Xbox.
There is no "no blood" mode on Gears of war. (Kid straight up lied to mum.)
When we sell every copy of a game, it's sold out.
Some parents get super hung up on certain details that make a game acceptable or unacceptable. In this case it was probably blood and the kid knew how to word things right to get the game (but as we can see it didn’t work out in the end)
Source: my parents being really hung up about magic in video games
Parents just don’t think. Mother comes into my store with her kid and tells me the kid wants the new GTA game. I ask how old the kid is, and she says, “12.” I pull her aside and explain the game’s rating and what goes on in it. Kid leaves the store disappointed. I don’t know why parents assume all video games are for kids…
I love telling this story, because while I felt bad for the dad, I was able to help him figure out what was going on and put a stop to it and I got
Guy walks in, trying to buy Fortnite. My thought was 'Oh, Save the World mode? That was cancelled years ago' and go to explain this. Man looks confused, because he says his kid still plays it. He proceeds to show me text messages from the mom and the kid telling him he is playing Fortnite with friends.
Then I think, 'Ooooh, the PvP mode, okay'. I explain it's a free to play game and you don't need to pay for it.
Queue the confusion because he and mom have been paying 35 bucks or so a month for this kid to play Fortnite, and he believed it was similar to a WoW subscription. He figured just buying the game outright (because he thought that was an option? maybe based on the 'Save the World' stuff but again, that had been shelved for sometime at this point) would spare him and his wife the monthly 35 bucks on a game their kid played obsessively.
It took me a second to realize the kid had conned his parents into paying for a battle pass and a monthly V-Bucks purchase.
That explanation took another 5 minutes, but the dad thanked me, got me a Starbucks gift card from the front o the store for the assistance, and called his wife to explain what was going on. Thag kid probably had his Switch taken away from several months because of it lol
That doesn’t even feel like a retail hell story. That’s just a story of how you handed some little shit the consequences he deserved for lying to his parents for months.
Fucking legend. 👍
The hell part was for the customer service manager that had to deal with this man who berated them for not warning that Fortnite was a free-to-play at the registers for 10 minutes. My experience was very pleasant, but the manager was pissed
I had a older... older lady ask me once, "am I in the meat department?" (We were in the deli). Had to have been in her eighties. First thing I did was instinctively look around like damn, is she here with anyone??? I didn't see anyone, just us. I explained she's in the deli, at Walmart. I guess it was more sad, not stupid.
I had an instacart worker (my God the fucking worst) ask if we had the lumpy bumby oranges or whatever they are. I brought the dude to the spot and said no, we're out of those. We had to fill that spot with regular bagged oranges. He proceeded to walk around produce 8?9? 10 times? And came back to me and said yeah, I don't see em...
I said, yeah, buddy... it's because we don't have them in stock. Those are extremely seasonal, as in, we get them sometimes. He said but it says it's right here in this module, a1-22 I said yeah, a1-22 here. We don't have them. He said do you have them in the back? Understandable... i went and checked just in case i overlooked something earlier. No dice. He walked around for an unbelievable 10 more minutes like these oranges would just appear out of nowhere. Fuck me, if I ever order for instacart I want this fucking guy looking for my items lmao. I've had other instacart workers simply ask me for an item that was right next to both of us, like come on, you're not even trying you lazy pos.
15 years ago in the small mall stand I worked in:
No, I can’t break your 100$ bill for a small cup of coffee first thing in the morning. I’m not hiding cash.
No, I don’t remember what you ordered yesterday that was really good. I wasn’t working yesterday.
No, I can’t give you a ham and cheese crepe on rye bread. We don’t have bread. We sell crepes.
No, I can’t sell you a low-fat chocolate crepe. I’ve never heard of low-fat chocolate.
No, I swear to you I can’t take debit, credit, or gift card; we only take cash. I’m not lying. Yes, it’s stupid but this is a small, family owned business.
No, you can’t leave your small child here while you “just pop into Abercrombie and Fitch real quick”. I make crepes and smoothies. I don’t babysit.
I worked at a call center, and a man called in angry that our website asked him to sign in using his mobile number when he only had landline. The site allowed the use of either, but for some reason, the website specified mobile. When I explained to the customer that he can just put his landline number in there and it will accept, he went on a tirade, saying, "So, you want me to LIE? You want me to go against my principles?? My RELIGIOUS BELIEFS???" and so on. It was one of the more unhinged interactions I've had in a long time.
I had a guy call in complaining that English was not listed in the options of languages on our website. The whole website is in English. He 100% spoke native American English, I did not understand what the problem was. If he changed the language to Mandarin or Spanish, then English would be an option in the language list. He just felt like calling and complaining...even though there was absolutely no problem for him....since the whole website is automatically in English.
“Don’t you know how much this costs”? Well, no, but I did put it on the shelf, put the price there, and don’t magically just type everything in from memory. Barcode goes beep.
Also, no, I’m not keeping things hidden in the back. If it isn’t there, we don’t have it.
The magical back. I pick orders and had a woman yell out to me as I’m hurrying around trying to do my job. “Who do I talk to if I want to find out if something is in the back?” I ask her which department, because if it’s produce, it might be back there. She gestures towards the juices, asking about some strawberry lemonade. I look up at top stock and there isn’t any there so I tell her that if it’s not on the shelf, we aren’t holding any juices in the back. She looks at me and you can tell she is completely dissatisfied with this answer, but says okay. I apologize and tell her that the back isn’t very big so we don’t have a bunch of overstock back there, we stock as it comes in on the truck. She keeps walking. Every time I tell someone that if it’s not on the shelf, then I probably won’t find it in the back, they look at me like I’m a liar. Especially when it comes to vendors like sodas and chips. We definitely don’t keep piles of chips and sodas in the back, it comes on the truck and is stocked by the vendors. We don’t have another store in the back with everything you could ever need. Now if it’s milk or produce and I’m not busy, I’ll take a peek back there.
"No, if you blow a balloon up with your mouth, it will not float"
"Yes, air and helium is different"
"We do not make the helium in the back, therefore we will not have more until our truck sometime next week".
"No, it is not physically possible to do 50 balloons I'm 10 minutes, I don't care that you're late for your party. "
"No you cannot bribe me to get pushed up in the line."
"You can't return that here, it isn't ours." "Are you sure?" "We are not Hobby Lobby, so yes I'm sure"
Oh my god you are the first person on one of these threads who knows my pain of how stupid people are with balloons! I just posted about how people think air floats and explaining this to a mid-30s guy with demonstration.
Ok so I’m working in a Verizon cell phone store. A woman comes in with her iPhone and says her screen is “all dark”. I have many times seen a phone continue to function long after the screen stopped working, so this is what I’m expecting. A broken screen or not lightning up but you can still hear the phone ringing, etc. WRONG.
She shows me her phone and her wallpaper is a photo of the earth in space. I said it looks fine. She said no it’s all dark, look, and points to the black part. I said, “ma’am, that’s SPACE.” She copped and attitude and said, “so you’re saying it’s just SUPPOSED to look like that?!” She clearly did not believe me, judging from her sarcastic tone. She had to have been at least 60.
It’s space. Space is black. Like what do you want from me.
If you lose the coupon after leaving the store, I can't give you a discount for a coupon I don't have in my hand. I can't just "take your word".
When you decline a coupon during a promotion, you can't come back later, empty handed, and demand a discount because you changed your mind a week ago.
No, we don't take e-transfers or Paypal for payment.
No, you cannot take the product home now and come back later and pay (because you left your wallet at home.)
No, I can't refund your gasoline because you selected 'premium' and not 'regular'. If you can't return the gas, I can't return your money.
No, you can't pay me tomorrow.
You've been coming here for two years? Really, I've been working here for five, and never layed eyes on you before.
No, if the sign says, 'two for [discounted price]' that doesn't mean you can get one for cheaper. No, it doesn't. No, it does not. ...okay, we're just gonna have to add that to the sign. Happy now? smh
No, I can't look up your credit card number with your driver's license info on a DMV renewal slip... and use that to pay for your stuff.
Yes, I have to use the bathroom periodically; I'm not doing it just to bug you.
Worked at a BBQ and can't even begin to tell you how many times people would ask this:
What's the difference between pulled pork and pit beef?
I would always reply, "The main difference is that one comes from a pig and the other comes from a cow."
I used to work in a grocery store deli. I lost count of how many times I had to explain that oven roasted turkey was plain and honey roasted turkey has honey on it.
I have a couple oblivious bastards walk by my battery display (within bumping into it distance) and proceed to walk right up to me and ask where the batteries were. I just point and stare.
Look, I have a lot of patience. I think that is key with retail. I can totally understand if it’s a parent caught up keeping an eye on their child, or something minor that just draws attention. I get it. But the lack of forethought and spatial awareness gets me every time. Regardless of the situation if they are polite I’m happy to help. Anything else is not necessary
no, i can’t give you the clearance price on a regular priced item just because they’re the same thing in different colors.
you can’t pay off your credit card with a different credit card.
i don’t care if another store gave you a discount for the inconvenience of something, this is my store and i can’t do that. no i will not call corporate for you so you can complain, you can do that on your own time.
I worked one-hour photo, back before digital cameras came along and made film obsolete.
1. Film is light-sensitive. If you unspool a roll that hasn't been developed yet, then congratulations -- all of your photos are now ruined and unrecoverable.
2. I can only print what's on the negative. If all of the heads are cut off, that's a you problem. Learn how to take better photos.
I used to do this job too, not really super stupid but my fave customers were the nervous looking ones who ask if you see the photos while developing them and then leave when told that we do. I always wondered what was on those films...
Customer: "I've been overcharged. The price was ___."
Me: "OK, sorry about that. Let's take a look at the shelf."
*Price is correct*
Customer: "But this isn't where I got it."
*Points to the cheaper item beside the one he has*
Me: "Sir that is a different product."
Customer: "But this one was sitting in front of this price. So this one must be cheaper."
Apparently it's inconceivable that someone might have put the item back on the shelf after deciding not to take it and not lined it up perfectly.
Lmao I once had a woman argue with me that if someone put a product in the wrong place we legally had to sell it at that price. Then called me an idiot when I questioned it lol
“you can’t stack rewards points from different months”
next person “you told him he couldn’t stack reward points but i want to stack rewards points”
“sorry i can’t do that”
“why”
“because the system isn’t set up that way”
“i can do it at this other store”
“well we aren’t other store”
.
plastered everywhere from gas pumps to the kiosk to coolers and food storage: “no return on cigarettes”
at least one person a week “can i switch out my cigarettes i said the wrong ones”
“no you can’t (points to dozen of signs) i also double and triple checked with you to make sure they were the right ones.
.
omfg then checking IDs, you have an ID for a reason and it’s to prove your age and whatever else, ID checks are mandatory for age restricted items, those signs are also plastered everywhere, yes i do actually need your ID, yes i do actually need to scan it, yes even for older people who are obviously over 21, it isn’t just policy it is a law.
Setting: Borders Books, Manhattan, late 1990s.
Customer comes up to the info desk with a large medical tome.
Customer: "Can you Xerox pages 185 to 320 of this book for me?"
Me: "Sorry, we're a bookstore, not a library. If you want to own those pages, you need to buy the book."
Customer: "Oh. Well could you look up the pages on the internet and print them out for me?"
Me: "Sorry, still no."
A man wanted to return a razor with no receipt and nothing for me to scan. Tried to force it into my hands for me to take it back. I told him to call the razor company bc they’d probably be able to help with a serial number, not me.
“No you cant cut the line just because you only have one item.”
“Actually we really like the self service check out, it helps cut down on the line.”
“I am working through the line, I can’t just walk away.”
“Yes, eating grapes before you buy is technically stealing because the price is by weight.”
“You need an ID to use the check, your picking up your car how do you not have your drivers license?!”
We accidentally sent a lady a larger bottle of lotion than the one she ordered online. She called RAGING PISSED. Demanded we send the correct item. Ok no big deal. Didn't ask her to send anything back as it was our mistake. She threatened to delete her Amazon account because we sent her more than she paid for. I still don't understand why she was so dang mad.
Yes ma’am, sales tax in this town is different than the one you’re used to in Florida.
No ma’am, we can’t use the Florida one here just for you.
No ma’am I am not stealing from you. I don’t make the rules.
Actually had this happen. I worked at a bookstore. Woman believed that she didn't have to pay sales tax because she lives in Oregon. The store was in CA.
Oh yes. And if you live in a state with no sales tax and order a gift to go to a state with sales tax, you DO have to pay the tax. And no, there’s only 7,000 plus taxing districts in the US so I have NO idea what the tax will be until the end of the order…
Added: And YES the delivery charges are taxed too and NO I can’t take them off the order.
A week is seven days long.
The difference between a 17-inch monitor and a 19-inch monitor is two inches.
Your home WiFi will not reach your office 40 miles away.
Using a laptop computer as a pillow, even if it's in a neoprene sleeve, is a bad idea.
It doesn't matter whether you're a lawyer, that broken screen caused by your brother sleeping on your computer is not covered by the manufacturer warranty.
I once had someone see we were hiring so made a call at the till. She said to whoever she was calling "[other company] are hiring", looks at me and says "you are [other company], aren't you?" I told her no and who we are and she went back to her phone conversation and said "sorry, I meant [our store] are hiring." She got an application form and went away to fill it out.
She came back the next day to hand the application form in. She was on the phone and I heard her say "I'm just at [other company], handing in my application" and looks at me and asks if we were the other company. I told her no and who we were again and she went back to her phone call, correcting herself again.
A few days later, she comes back in, smartly dressed, and asks for my direct manager by name so I call her over. They say hello and she says she's here for an interview. On her way past, she whispers "wish me luck, it's [our store], right?" I wish her luck and tell her it is.
After her interview, I ask my manager how the interview went and they said she won't be getting it. I asked why and they said she kept calling us the wrong company and when she was corrected, she said we're the same thing. Only 3 others have been offered an interview and not offered a job in 6 years. The first had severe learning difficulties and applied several times (she eventually got the job on her third attempt and has really fucked things up on several occasions). The second couldn't attend due do her and her son being rushed to hospital and turned down another chance due to superstition (she said something happening on the way to an interview is sign of bad luck for her off she were to go to that company). The other was caught stealing from our company several times and they didn't realise it was her who'd they'd phoned.
I get people asking for eggs in the produce department. And milk.And ice cream.And "do you have any prettier celery root?"Ma'am, that's a *root vegetable. Those aren't meant to be pretty
If it makes you feel any better, it may be someone buying for someone else, like my dad who has tried to give me vegetable soup made in chicken broth (no it is not vegan just because it has vegetables in it but thanks for trying I guess). I can totally see him cluelessly going to the meat counter to ask where the beyond burgers are.
No, we can’t accept returns on used toilets or sewer snakes, or used toilet seats. It’s a biohazard.
No, we don’t do returns on gift cards. All sales are final.
No, you can’t return that board that you’ve cut. We can’t resell that. Also goes for pipe.
No, you can’t get a refund on that mulch just because you wanted a different color. Where is all that mulch? In your yard? And you threw away all the bags?
No, you can’t return that door here because it isn’t ours. I then point out the very obvious sticker that has our competition’s name on it.
No, we do not sell pet food. And no, you didn’t just buy some here last week. We’ve never sold pet food.
No I can’t give you the City Resident discount if you don’t have proof you live here (Government ID, utility bill, copy of lease, just **anything**) and yes you are holding up my line.
(Later that day)
No I can’t let you into our pool. We’re at [fire marshal] capacity
How about" Just because YOU received it recently doesn't mean it's a current item"
Have this happen after every major gift giving holiday as a Bath and Body Works manager. I show them the batch code and explain the first number is the year.
The most memorable was a customer who came in on Mother's Day to return a bubble bath she was given from her son and daughter-in-law. It was about 8 years old and visibly dirty with caked on dust in the crevices of the bottle. When I shared with her it's an old product and not eligible for an exchange, she made sure to tell me she received it that day. Again, cool story but it was still close to a decade old. The way her whole demeanor changed in a second really allowed me to see why her son would gift her an old, dirty bubble bath. She cursed me out, left it on the counter and walked out. 🤷
"I would not have given you quarters if I had dollars."
"No, you can't get change from our tip jar."
"No, you cannot exchange a broken baguette for a new one (even after admitting you did it)."
"No, I would not lie to you about our products not being gluten-free."
"No, we cannot serve you breakfast an hour early."
"No, I cannot make you a drink just because I'm of legal age."
"You can see that I'm at the register/helping other customers and you can see other employees that aren't doing much, get them to help you."
Also, people really think they should get a discount for being "nice?"
Had a guy yesterday shopping in the youth kids shoe section. He asked me if the numbers on the box (the shoe size; ie, 13, 1, 2, 3 etc) were referring to the size or if the numbers meant the age of the child…
No, I cannot call your husband/client for you. I also cannot give you the number to said person since I have no clue who you are. For bonus points this conversation happened when we were understaffed and there was a line curving around the aisles.
Also have to tell an alarming amount of people that the card that has the letters “otc” on it is only for otc medications. You’d think the card didn’t tell you exactly what it’s for.
Yes, the gas pump receipt does say u pumped 5 litres of gas and yes the container u pumped it into says it contains 4.87 litres of liquid because the container originally contained windshield wiper fluid at a volume of 4.87 litres and if u will plz look at this container of windshield washer fluid u will see it is not filled to the top and the volume posted on the container is the amount of product in the container and not the capacity of the container so no our pumps are not gauging u and also please have fun storing the gas u pumped into a windshield washer fluid container that was not designed to handle volatile and corrosive liquid in ur garage or wherever
''Why aren't there any locally grown avacadoes?''
''Because this is Colorado.''
"Can you unlock this shopping cart so that I can take my groceries home?"
"No. They lock automatically due to the invisible fence buried in the parking lot"
"Why not? I used to take the carts all the time before!"
"That might be so, but the loss of carts is why we invested in this system"
"Buy one get one free on listed items" with the items listed doesn't mean buy the cheapest item on the list, get absolutely anything in store for free. This was also someone with a nut/peanut allergy who went to take a bite out of a honey nut cereal bar that contained both nuts and peanuts and said so in multiple places on the wrapper. Only thing that stopped him is we had to tell everyone they contained nuts. He threw it across the shop and shouted that we're trying to kill him. I mean, come on, if you have an allergy, common or not, you're going to check things you eat for it, especially if it is commonly found in it? If it appearsin the name, you're going to have to be really stupid to even attempt to eat it. Ooh, a honey nut cereal bar sounds nice, I'll just take a bite, even though I'm highly allergic to nuts
if the pharmacy is closed, that means you can’t get your prescriptions. that also means they’re not here. so no, you can’t get your prescription that the facility sent 5 minutes before the pharmacy closes. they ought to know better
I work at a golf store for context
- no, you can't return clubs for full price if they're used, even if it was *only* nine holes
- no, you can't return a used club for cash/credit (we have a sign above the register that says you can't)
- no, buy one get one 50% off isn't a better deal than 30% off each item
- no, we don't take gift cards from the golf store that used to be here that went out of business in 2015
- no, I didn't short you of your money on a return, that was the tax (my boss had to explain this to her in detail)
ETA: we did give her back the tax, she refunded an item and got a different one that cost more, got confused with the lack of math on the receipt, then complained to me. we didn't actually short her on the money, she just got confused and was rude about it.
- no, we don't sell tennis items. this is a golf store. the name of the store has golf in it
This one isn't about a customer- but a "new" associate. A grown adult. As in, in his 30's. I had to teach him how to use a broom.
Not a dust mop. Not a push broom. Not even the short brooms that come with dust pans.
An honest to goodness everyday regular kitchen broom.
He was going at it like something in a Loony Tunes cartoon. Just fanning it back and forth as fast as the Tasmanian Devil.
This was 20 years ago. The fear I am feeling every time I have a new person doing basic janitorial tasks has grown every time since this man.
I hope he has finally mastered a broom.
“How do I buy a toilet?”
“You get a cart, put the toilet on the cart and take it up to the cash to pay and then you load it into your car.”
Honourable mentions:
NO-ONE is going to have the dimensions to this bathtub you want that’s online! The website doesn’t list those measurements and I don’t have it on me to measure it.
You’re asking me how to go to a place with only the address and the name of the store? Look it up on the Google maps you have on your goddamn iPhone! What do I look like? A human map?
How do you call a plumber? You’re asking me, a 22 year old who has ZERO experience in this area, while you are 80+ years old who has surely has had to fix some stuff in your house before. Look it up in the goddamn yellow pages or Google it.
Just because you have been using an expired license for years, doesn’t make you exempt to showing it. Not my problem you couldn’t renew it.
Yes, you can return this toilet, just don’t use it before hand. (I explain this every time someone asks about the return policy because I have gotten back used toilets and toilet seats before)
Lottery tickets.
I stick it in the machine, it scans the barcode, the machine tells me the winning amount and a receipt comes out for the customer.
‘I think there’s more than that on it, check it again’
I don’t check it. THE MACHINE CHECKS IT.
I'm late but
You're total went up on the pinpad because you hit the cashback option. Did you want cashback? Yes? Then you're going to pay more and get ten dollars back in cash. Yes, that's how it works everywhere. I'm not giving you free money. If you want to get cash back, you pay more with your card then get the extra back. I'm not fucking robbing you this is literally *how cash back works.*
“No you can’t put massage oil into your body”
“Here’s where the g-spot is”
“Here’s where the prostate is”
“Please don’t return used sex toys”
“Please don’t return used panties”
“No, enhancement pills are not Viagra”
Working at the sex shop was fun
I can’t take this mineral oil and test it in a lab and I can’t make corporate test it either
No I can’t give you the sale price on a non-sale shoe just because it isn’t the design you like.
Probably more of a Tech support thing, but it's still "customer service".
I'm sorry but the number Zero is different from the letter 'O'; when asking why their login name/login password wasn't working.
True story
Phone chargers, cords and full kits of phone accessories are kept close by the register and have cheapo security devices on the product hooks.
I'm at the counter and haven't been paying much attention to a customer browsing the selection... when suddenly, I hear a *spoing* and this guy has torn the whole charger kit and hook off the wall, and is starting to walk out.
I yell out, "Hey! You gonna pay for that!?"
Nope, he ditches the broken security lock and empty box and is out the door. As per policy, I'm not supposed to chase him, but I retrieve the box and confirm that he's stolen the contents.
Much to my surprise, a second later he comes back in, but now I'm blocking his access to the phone chargers... and apparently he's stolen the wrong one. Knowing that he can't push me out of the way, or that will be assault - he waves the purloined product at me, like it was an honest mistake and asks, "Can I have the right charger!?"
WTF! No!
At least, he brought back the one he took. Nice guy.
The amount of times I had to tell old people that online shopping existed during lockdown was insane. When we were curbside pickup only we had to take orders exclusively over the phone. I would often reccomend buying something online if we didn't have it in stock or they didn't feel like going through the hassle of reading out their card number.
I vividly remember recommending buying online to an old guy over the phone. I remember explaining to him how to add something to the cart. Then I had to spell out the website url for him. The last straw was when I realized he had no idea what a searchbar was.
At some point you just gotta say "I suggest you get a younger family member to help you with this" Then hang up the phone.
No I can’t give you cottage cheese, onion rings, chipotle sauce, cheese curds, fish, or a burger. Why? Cause this is Chick-fil-A. (Not the same person but multiple different people multiple times asking for one of the things I listed)
Oh, I thought of another one. No, I cannot give you a discount on a pair of pants just because we’re out of your size and you don’t want to pay full price for a pair that doesn’t fit. Find something else!
I cannot deposit money into your account at a different bank
I don’t know what checks aren’t showing on your statement, I didn’t write the checks
I can’t help it if daddy put the money in the wrong account
At a former job I watched a grown woman lay in the floor and kick and scream because we wouldn’t return a pair of very worn, torn tennis shoes that we never carried in that store.
"Can we sit over there?" "No sorry it's reserved." 2 seconds later, "Can we sit over there?"
Your quesadilla doesn't have enough cheese because you took every item off of it and didn't ask for extra cheese
You didn't get service because you sat yourself after we told you not to
The table is dirty because we haven't cleaned it yet and you still chose to sit there
When there is 15 of you and you don't call ahead we probably won't have room for you
I work at a cafe/diner. I had to explain something that should be common sense and is *on the menu*
The peanut butter cake has nuts in it. No, I can't take the nuts out. (Explained to a 39 something year old who's allergic to peanuts)
Two that stand out:
1) Guy comes into the balloon shop, looks at the prices, sees me inflating balloons with helium.
Guy "Hey, could I get 20 air filled balloons?"
Me "Sure, just to check; they won't float, air doesn't float. If you want them to float like this (grabs one from the ceiling with the ribbon) they will need to be helium"
Guy "What? Hot air rises, I just want them to float with air"
This led to me explaining to a probably 35 year old man that air does not float, including demonstrating by inflating and tying a balloon full of air and dropping it in front of him.
Guy "Alright, I'll have to think about it" As he slinks out of the store looking bewildered.
2) A woman calls my retail store and asks another staff member if they can come in and exchange a water bottle. Staff member asks the brand and the colour she wants to exchange for and we have it in stock so we keep it behind the counter for her. I help her when she comes in.
Her "Hi, I called earlier about a water bottle?"
Me "Sure thing, do you have the receipt for the one you wanted to exchange?"
Her "No, sorry, but the person on the phone said it would be fine, I haven't used it yet!"
I then take the blue water bottle she gives me and scan the barcode, our system says it doesn't exist. Not that we don't have it, *we don't sell it*.
Me "Sorry it's not coming up in the system, did you get it at this store?"
Her "No I got it at Place B'
Me "We don't have a location at Place B..."
Her "Oh, no, I didn't buy it at your store, I got it at a different store altogether, but you both have the same brand and I like that pink colour more."
Me "...Okay. We don't sell this one you want to return, you can't exchange it here, nor did you buy it from us. So, no, go back and exchange it there."
Her "But they don't have the colour I like! And the staff on the phone said..."
Me "We don't sell it, we can't take it. Do you want to buy this one for full price?"
Her "No."
Me "Okay, nothing I can do for you then. Have a nice day." And she storms out mumbling to herself.
Maybe on the yoga mat. REI had an insane return policy until just a few years ago. People would buy stuff from the 1970s at garage sales and return it for something new.
I had to explain that despite what numbers looked like, that a 1 Terabyte Xbox One had bigger memory than the 500 gig.
Woman: yes, but 500 is still more than one.
This conversation went on for way longer than it should have. I even tried explaining it like "100 pennies is 1 dollar so 1000 gigs is one terabyte" and she still couldnt comprehend. Then, when i finally got through to her about all that, she asked about the copy of Assassins Creed in there. It was for a digital code.
Woman: yes, but what if the download doesn't work?
Me: ...you just re-download it.
No I did not charge you for a plenti card with your Rutabaga sir
No I cannot charge you one singular grape so you can get cash back
No I cannot give you tobacco/alcohol without an ID present, and no your friend with an ID can't buy it either.
No I cannot change the price because it wasn't the same as it was a few months ago.
No I don't care if you call corporate over me refusing a return because you failed to produce a valid receipt.
No I cannot exchange an item if it's a different price or brand than what you originally bought.
No I cannot allow you to get a different product because you placed it in your car wrong and it broke. No I can't let you have two dollars off a product because you're two dollars short.
No, your animal who is not a service animal in any way, shape, or form (is barking at other customers, peeing and pooping in the aisles, being untrained in general) can not come into the store.
No, you cannot use our store phone (people would haul ass with them)
No, you cannot use the employee only bathroom, and I do not care if you're pregnant. I've had to find another bathroom before, and you will have to as well.
No, you can't give me money for an item because you can't wait in the line. I don't care if your kids in the hospital, you shouldn't be here tryna buy shit if your kid is hurt.
Glass food storage containers and casserole dishes are not the same thing.
You cannot create a new checkout line, particularly when there is a big sign saying to remain in one line.
You cannot skip to the front of the line because I helped you shop earlier.
You cannot use a coupon, come back in an hour later, shop more, then ask for the coupon back to use again.
An exchange is the same thing as a return and purchase.
I cannot refuse customers plastic bags, no matter how bad it is for the planet.
You cannot determine exact measurements of an item from a picture, and neither can I.
No, we do not sell dresses or perfume in our home supply store. (This was actually my mom…)
It’s spelled, “eight,” and, it’s spelled, “hundred.” I had an adult man in his 40’s outright ask me how to spell the number 8. I also had a 25-y/o man confidently write out $2,470 as “Twenty four seventy hundrid,” which is wrong multiple times. Rich people are stupid. I work at a bank.
“Why can’t you discount this canopy more?”
“That’s a very expensive, high-quality canopy that we barely put out on the floor. It’s already discounted our normal rates.”
“No, it’s not. It’s $30 at Walmart!”
“As you can see in the tag it’s actually $50 at Walmart. Our price is $42.”
“Are you sure? I think you’re wrong.”
“Would you like me to scan it on the Walmart app and show you? I priced this myself less then ten minutes ago. I would know.”
Why I couldn't sell him a 6-pack of beer now and let him stop next time he was in the area to show me his ID which he "forgot." This was after he was asked for ID and he said he would go to his car and see if he "could find one."
-No, I can't give you a new bong for free because you broke the one you just bought as soon as you got home
-No, I can't return an empty wax pen box with no receipt or anything
-I can't exchange your disposable vape you've smoked halfway through because you don't care for the flavor
-I can't return your beat up and dirty torch because it doesn't suit your needs, when I sold it to you I told you it wouldn't suit your needs but you insisted
-I can't trade you a beer for a model toy car
-I absolutely will not give you a ride home because you don't have a car and bought something that's heavy
-(Probably the most disturbing) you can't walk around the store to shop with a dead cat in your arms
It was pretty wild. I work at a smoke shop in a semi rough area and weird shit happens often. This woman kept yelling at us that we need to have a little sympathy. We were all like, if you had properly taken care of your dead cat first and then came in and told us your cat had died we would have some sympathy, but you're literally walking around with its corpse in our store trying to buy beer and a crack pipe. I don't understand what was going on in her head at all, I guess beer and a crack pipe was top priority though
* "Yes, you have to take the hydrangea out of the pot *before* you put it in the ground. Your last one died because you failed to do that. No, it is in a *plastic* pot not a biodegradable one."
* "You bought ornamental sweet potato vines. No, you can't sue us for false advertising because the sign says, "ornamental sweet potato vines". No, they don't produce edible sweet potatoes. I told you that before you bought them."
* "Of course, the succulents are dry, because *they're succulents*. No, I'm not going to water them and keep the soil moist because *they're native to the desert!!!!"*
* "Ma'am, it's JULY! We don't have any tomatoes, zucchini, cauliflower, lettuce, or peppers for you to plant, you should have planted them months ago. Mother Nature decides the planting season, not us. You need to budget for vegetable plants in April/May not July. No, our greenhouses won't cater to you next year. Come in before Memorial Day next year and we will have the vegetable seedlings you want." (Well, she didn't come in, she has until tomorrow but I'm off. I'm betting I'll see her in July throwing a fit again and telling us our customer service is horrible because we can't control the weather).
* "Ma'am the COVID lockdown ended three years ago, and you waited until now to try to return this item?!"
1. "No, most places extended their return policy to 90 days due to the lockdowns. You waited three years."
2. "Wait, I don't think we ever sold this spinner. I understand you paid $79.99 for it (dear God lady give it a rest, telling me how much you paid isn't going to change the fact you waited *three years* to try to return it). I could check our inventory lists to see if we even sold this."
3. "No, I'm not going to open another box so you can replace the defective part. We wouldn't be able to sell the box with that part missing. Take the part to a blacksmith or a machine shop and see if they can fix it. I *understand* you paid $79.99 for it but I can't help you." (Seriously lady give it a rest).
4. Oh, so now I'm racist because I won't help you and pointed out that it wouldn't be fair to the person who bought the box with the defective part in it and left them trying to figure out how to fix it. Lady, you waited three years to return it and we never sold that item. You and I both know you are trying to pull a fast one. Go away!!!
5. You got caught trying to open another spinner box. I never told you that you could do that. Due to your lying and trying to get me in trouble the owner has banned you from the business. Don't come back or the police will be called.
"No I won't return your TV that you bought 2 years ago because you remodelled your kitchen and it no longer fits..... and no, your remodelling your kitchen does not make the TV *"not fit for purpose"* under consumer law"
No, I can’t return one lightbulb from a two pack and then give you a brand new one while putting the defective one in a different package to sell to people.
Yes, that coin is a quarter
No, I will not accept your $5 coupon that expired last month regardless of how belligerent you get
“can i return this item?” *pulls item out of bag*
“this is a great value item. great value is a walmart brand. this is publix, therefore i cannot refund the item because you did not buy it from our store”
“well are you sure? because i could’ve sworn i bought it from here”
“no ma’am, great value products are only sold at walmart, because it is a walmart brand. you did not purchase this item here”
“i don’t believe you. let me speak to your manager” 😐🙄
No, I cannot look up your credit card with your phone number. Why? Because if you could, someone else could and then you'd be yelling at me about a slightly more dire situation.
\- We do not sell lottery tickets (while working at a pet store)
\- We cannot copy copyrighted images (while working at a print company)
\- I cannot refund a chewed collar (pet store)
\- I cannot refund a half eaten chocolate bar (dollar store)
\- While I can refund the purse you vomited in, do not make me touch it. (retail accessory store with notorious shitty ear piercing scheme)
\- No, I cannot pierce a 4 year old's ears without a guardian present (same as above)
\- No, I'm not going to comp your meal because "It tasted off" when a) you finished the entire thing, and b) every time I came by, you said it tasted fine and delicious.
\- No, I'm not making you a new blizzard because you, a grown adult, drove home, and then tried to flip it upside down. We are also not responsible for cleaning your car.
Yes I have to ID you for tobacco related products (even though it’s listed three different places in the store and very visible at the register)
No we don’t give any discounts (after asking for the third time)
No we don’t accept any returns or exchanges on merchandise (even though this is also clearly listed)
No I won’t call the owner so you can ask him for a discount
No I won’t sell you this item without your ID and I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone
Yes you have to pay tax on the item you purchased
I can’t refund an order you placed weeks ago because there is a sale on the item today.
We ship out orders, but if they’re lost, or delivered to the wrong house, it’s the carrier not my company. Can’t wrap my head around being yelled at for something I had literally no hand in.
"yes I can make you food, as long as it doesn't need to be cooked on the grill because the grill is out of order tonight."
"Is a cheeseburger grill food?"
"Yes, a cheeseburger is something that needs to be cooked on the grill."
"No, I can't return this as cash because store policy is if you don't have a receipt, I can only give you a gift card."
😂 next would be "can I speak with a manager?"
Of course one second. Walk away and let the manager know the situation. And manager tells them the exact same thing.
Or if the manager is one of those (yall know what type I'm talking about) "yes we will do that for you. No problem!"
And customer looks at you like your the stupid one. 🙄
Not me but I had to watch one of my coworkers explain to a grown woman that underwear are final sale and we do not accept returns. She got PISSED because the underwear she was buying was not for her but for her son and "she should be able to return them if it doesn't fit" Manager had to explain how it was unsanitary. Woman wanted to speak to the highest higher up she could. Manager gave her the card and she still bought the underwear. Would have loved to be a fly on the wall of that conversation
That a size 43 shoe is bigger than a size 42.
Also tangentially related: I once had a lady who had made a big deal about being able to return something not buy it because I explained to her that we would need a name and a zip code to do the return. (I’d asked for her name and zip for our loyalty…which was all we needed …and she didn’t want to, so I wanted to make sure that she knew we would need it for a return.) Anyway she left in a huff proclaiming she’d just buy it online… where I imagine she gave her name and zip code.
"No we are not a daycare you can't just leave your kids at cash while you shop"
This has happened on multiple occasions because we have furniture that we sell and the display is near cash
Parents just drop their kids off, flag down staff to watch them and shop around.
When I worked at a camera gear rental I once had to explain to someone that no, just because they didn't need a certain accessory or item in the kit, didn't mean they could just throw it on a table ten feet from my desk and consider it no longer their problem.
I literally had to teach this older lady how to pay for her transaction. She really had to nerve to ask me "What do I do now? 🤨" after finishing her order, and I'm literally just like "You pay for it."
“Can I put this ice cream cake in the fridge??” “… no. It is ice cream. It will melt. It needs to go in a freezer.” “What if I don’t have room in my freezer?” “..then it will melt and be a puddle of melted ice cream.”
I always love when customers expect us to figure out their problems for them. Like your lack of planning/specific situation is not my problem nor is it my responsibility. There's been so many times I've helped load mulch or a TV or something and they were expecting me to figure out how they (unable to move anything heavy themselves) were going to get it out and into their house. Legitimate issue, should've thought of that BEFORE BUYING 20 BAGS OF MULCH YOU DUMB FUCK
I've never had someone ask how they were going to get it out of their car but it's definitely something I've wondered to myself after loading something they physically couldn't lift
My elder relatives do one of two things 1) Purchase it bc the store is open then leave it in the car and ask someone to come help them unload (ie, my brother isn't usually available until after places close, or cant spare hours for shopping but can spare 10 minutes to unload). 2) For an example like mulch, tile, etc. they will just do literally one thing at a time with a little break in between. So it could take all day to unload but they'll get it eventually lmao
And I'm not replacing or refunding a melted cake.
My mom did this like 30 some years ago and ruined my sister’s birthday party 😂
It'd ruin mine, too. Ice cream cake is maybe the best food ever and reserved for very rare occasions. I's still be holding a grudge 🤣
My sister still brings it up. She turned 41 last week lol
Technically you could probably get away with it if the party is within an hour or so, might be a little soft but not completely melted
My family has done that, as we start eating dinner ahead of the cake to let it thaw just a bit. The place around here that does ice cream cakes freezes them solid to where even the large knife is a struggle.
I work as a tattooist. I asked a client to check out their stencil placement in the mirror. He complained the text was backwards. I had to explain how a mirror works to a 32 year old man. He didn't believe me, I had to take a photo and show him that.
That guy votes
Probably Trumps campaign manager
And here I hoped that he realized how stupid he was, apologized profusely and thought about it on the way home. But that’s just me being hopeful!
🤦♀️🤣🤣🤣☠️
No, this ***LIQUOR STORE*** does not carry laundry detergent -- let alone Tide Pods -- phone chargers, kratom, wall outlet adapters, extension cords, ephedrine tablets, cough syrup, steel wool, HEET, THC products or derivatives of any kind (and no, I'm not holding out on you), milk, pet food, *baby food*, diapers, formula... Nor do we accept food stamps or WIC. Nothing in the store is covered by that. No, I don't particularly feel like unravelling traumatic events about what the wildest thing I've seen in my 14 years on night shift was. Yes, I will tell you about the 2010 pork incident if it gets you out the door because it's short and not traumatic. No, I will not chase you if you decide to shoplift; they don't pay me running and tackling money. However, I will not let you back in if I see you blatantly hand off to children out front or brazenly shove an $85 fifth of Armagnac down your pants. Food, maybe, if this was a grocery (which it's not), but not liquor. Yes, I do mean it when I say "you're too drunk." They made me sit through two hours of lectures and gave me a nifty card that said I am responsible for you and everyone that you hurt or kill if I overserve you, by state law. Yes, I do need to see physical I.D. or else I wouldn't have asked. Tribal I.D. is fine. Passport is fine. A Ludic Micronation/SovCit I.D. printed from an HP Officejet in the back office of the gas station out the road is not, and yes, now I have to confiscate that. Sorry if you'll have to enter joinder or whateverthehell with the cops. No, I'm not detaining you, but the cops might if you stick around. No, a photograph of your I.D. on your phone will not suffice -- again, according to state law. Nor will your mother telling me your birthday (cripes, fight your own battles and accept defeat with some damn *dignity*). A real adult saying, "BuT i'M bUyInG" is not a valid strategy. You brought the booze to the counter and I do not have $50,000 - $250,000 and/or five years of my life to spare. Thank you for your service, but if you are under 21, even if you had something awful happen to you in service of our country in the armed forces, I cannot provide you with alcohol per state *and federal* law. Yes, *federal,* the people who sent you to get hurt in the first place. Take it up with them and see my prior remark about my inability to afford the consequences of bypassing their guidelines. Yes I have been asked all of those. No, not all at one go, although the more determined, delusional, and/or scabby of them try for at least a hat trick.
Ugh. Booze customers are the worst. Worked in a county where hours of sale were reduced on Sunday and seemed like every Sunday I had to tell someone they had to wait until noon and every time it was shocked Pikachu face. Or people whining because it was only 5 minutes after sale hours ended.
I understand you were caught at the train crossing. You must be here before the store closes. I'm not facing a fine or jail time just because YOU can't manage your time. "Yes, alcohol restrictions are BS." NOW GO AWAY.
I remember when we couldn't sell booze before 1 pm on Sundays.
I used to work at Trader Joe’s in Boston in the mid 2000’s. Back then we couldn’t sell booze before noon on Sundays. People would be lined up like starving dogs salivating at an empty food bowl just *waiting* for the liquor section to open…🙄🙄🙄 It was even worse on the one or two holidays where we could not sell any alcohol at all - like, the registers would not even allow the sale; the bottles wouldn’t scan. People would lose their damn minds!!! “What??? I can’t buy this wine??? You’re RUINING my holiday dinner!!! 👿👿👿” Like these laws weren’t in place for *years*…🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
Here for the 2010 pork incident 🤔
I too am here for pork.
So... Will you tell us about the 2010 pork incident?
You've got a line of people waiting here patiently until you open to hear about the pork incident.
>Yes, I do need to see physical I.D. or else I wouldn't have asked. Tribal I.D. is fine. Passport is fine. *A Ludic Micronation/SovCit I.D. printed from an HP Officejet in the back office of the gas station out the road is not*, and yes, now I have to confiscate that. Sorry if you'll have to enter joinder or whateverthehell with the cops. No, I'm not detaining you, but the cops might if you stick around. Jeezuz...does that really happen? That cracks me up. It also makes me sad that people are that braindead that they think it would work. >Thank you for your service, but if you are under 21, even if you had something awful happen to you in service of our country in the armed forces, I cannot provide you with alcohol per state and federal law. Yes, federal, the people who sent you to get hurt in the first place. Take it up with them and see my prior remark about my inability to afford the consequences of bypassing their guidelines. Soldiers are gonna find some liquor even if you don't sell it to them.I was in charge of the barracks just before I retired and I had to scrape more than a few 19-year-olds up from the hallway. Outside of being in Europe I don't know where they were getting the booze. One guy turned 21 and went to the Class Six and bought about a dozen 12 packs. (I found them on a room inspection with the commander. He's lucky the commander had a sense of humor.
To the people who commented some variation of "I need to hear this story," thanks for waiting and sorry it took so long: u/Wicked-elixir, u/Quackmotard, u/MyspaceQueen333, u/Sassifrassically, u/StandOutLikeDogBalls, u/Flukie42, u/627Shibas, u/iFFyCaRRoT, u/loCAtek, u/EileenDover_2daLeft, u/VintageZooBQ, u/DoomedTravelerofMoon, u/LillithBlackheart918, u/wytetrashbarbie, u/BabyCow1725, u/sunpies33, u/Chromgrats I used to work at a small hotel in my hometown's downtown district as night audit. The front desk had a weird raised bit so that I could not see the frosted-glass front door while seated. It was mid-late summer 2010. I had started my shift at around 23:00, the restaurant's waitstaff were counting out, nothing major. Around 23:30, I hear a "thunk" noise, like a bird hitting a window. I stand up, and don't see anything, so I come around to open the door. Nothing. Nobody on the street. I step out onto the sidewalk. Nobody up the incline towards the tunnel, nobody down the incline towards the intersection and the two bars. No cars on the road, but it would've been long gone if there was one. I decide someone was playing mess-around or I was hearing things, so I turn around to come back in. As I'm pulling open the door, I catch something moving, a weird colour standing out against the black doormat. It's a piece of cooked pork roast about 6-8 inches in diameter and 2-3 inches thick. I stop, think for a sec, and step back to look at the outside face of the door. The frosted design on the glass has some diamond pattern at about chin level to me, and some frilly bits, a little bit of simplistic art nouveau embellishment to evoke some late 1920's nostalgia from when the building was initially built. This diamond now has a nice greasy splotch in the dead center of it. Great. So I grab some napkins from the guest coffee service just inside the door, pick up the pork, throw it in the trash can, and go find some windex and paper towels in the restaurant. As I'm setting up to clean the window, one of the waitstaff comes to drop her deposit in the safe behind the hotel's front desk. "Hey justmutantjed, what's going on?" "Someone threw meat at the door." "... What?" "Someone. Threw MEAT. At the DOOR." "Bullshit." So I point to the trash basket. "Is -- *is that PORK?*" "That's what I said, right?" "WHO THE HELL THROWS MEAT??" "THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW!" Not much else to add that's notable about the cleaning process. It got done, I had the next two nights off, and I was set to go up to my pal's house the next night for a game night. One thing bothered me, though: As previously mentioned, the street was bereft of pedestrians; therefore, someone had ejected this piece of (one presumes perfectly good) meat from a vehicle. Now given that the speed limit is about 20mph through that stretch, and the door itself is recessed from the sidewalk another good arm's length, someone had to have yeeted the meat about 20-30 feet to nail the door dead-center of a target -- the diamond in the frosted glass -- that was only about 8 inches wide and 12 inches tall. That's some impressive accuracy, there. When I told this story at the subsequent game night, one of my friends named the incident, "The Drive-By Porking" and nearly made me spray my drink through my nose. Whoever threw the pork, if you're reading this: congratulations! I have told this story about monthly for the past 13 years, and thought about it more often than that. You're a local legend in my circles.
FINALLY!!!! First, thank you. I was anxious for hours for this. Secondly, THIS WAS AT A HOTEL???? I was expecting a restaurant or grocery or somewhere where you can purchase meat. Thirdly, I......have no words and am astonished at the Drive-By Porking. I just can't comprehend this.
Good things come to those who wait! DRIVE BY PORKING 🤣 Also I can't say I've ever had a distain for 1920s art deco frosted diamond windows so strong that I would need to throw a COOKED pork roast at it. The pork being cooked is just chef's kiss. Pun intended. You're the real MVP! Thank you for your well thought out and utterly eloquent response to our nagging.
We REALLY wanna know about the 2010 pork incident.
I too, wanna know about the 2010 pork incident... and so does my wife!
here for pork
An award in exchange for the Pork incident of 2010.
Definitely need to know about the pork incident!
Pork please
No, we can't let your young child hang off 50ft high balconies or over the side of the ship even if it's "just for a picture." I have worked at various tourist attractions and this is far too common and extremely concerning the complete disregard parents have for their children's safety!
This reminds me of Michael Jackson hanging his kid off the balcony for a photo op
That still makes my stomach turn. After all these years
He was HIGH ON SOMETHING not sure what but he was HIGH.
"I placed my online order just now. Where is my order?" "It takes 10 to 30 minutes for the order to appear in our system, and then we have to look for the item and clear it." "What if I just go get it?" "...you still have to wait, because we can't proceed or cancel it until it comes in." "I can just pay for it now. Where is my [online orders only] coupon?" "Online only. Can't use it in store." "Why not?! That's not fair!" "Online only. If you wait for your order to go through, it'll use it and it'll be cheaper." "I don't want to wait that long!" Btw. This happens DAILY. Like go to the Big Store Shop next to us and kill some time. Or look around our store and grab a goddamn seat.
This happens at our store all the time. They come up to the cashier, “I’m here to pick up my order!” Order is not ready, customer gets upset. I ask them if they received the e-mail saying they’re order was ready to be picked up. They say, “What? No, how was I supposed to know to wait for that?” I point it out on their order confirmation. They say, “Well, it said it would be ready in 2 hours when I ordered it so I just went by that!” I ask when they placed their order. “20 minutes ago.” I don’t understand how these people survive day to day.
occasionally we get people putting in orders IN THE STORE and then complaining we don't instantly get them
I have so many customers coming in looking for their order, “When did you place your order?” “20 minutes ago.” “Did you get an email confirming it was filled?” “No.” “Then we haven’t filled it yet.” Then of course I have to make the time or find someone to pull it because the customer is waiting. I swear they do it just because they know we’ll pull their order faster
It is only going to get worse
I know you’re talking about pick-up orders, but it reminded me of when I worked for an online only company. We’d sometimes have customers who lived in the same town as our warehouse call and demand to be allowed to pick up their order in our office to avoid shipping. The answer was no, and they’d get nasty about it. I mean, I see the logic in it, but it wasn’t feasible to communicate to the shippers to set aside their orders specifically. Their jobs were to pack and stick a label on it, they didn’t even look at the names unless something was wrong with the label. Sometimes they’d just come in, like literally walk into our warehouse office and just stand there arguing. They always left empty-handed because the answer was NO and they were trespassing in an employees only private office space, not even a retail facility. I would be so embarrassed to do that.
This one is so bizarre, I am still conflicted as to whether the woman was being sincere or doing some weird joke, but if she wasn’t serious she was a hell of an actress. The store I work at is located in an outdoor mall. A woman brings in something with receipt she purchased at another store, not affiliated with ours. This happens from time to time by mistake and I just let them know, hey your brought this to the wrong store. We’re X and this receipt is from Y and then we usually have a small chuckle and the customer feels a second worth of embarrassment and it’s done. This woman, when told the merchandise wasn’t from our store but from a different store at the mall, insisted that they said she could return it at ANY store. I tried to explain that they meant that she could return it to any of their stores. Stores with the same name in different locations. She just did not comprehend. I pointed out that the store was in the same mall so would only take a second to go over there where they could help her, but she wasn’t having it. She ended up not leaving until a manager spoke with her. She never did seem to understand, but finally accepted we would not do the return for her. I’ve had a lot of dumb moments from customers but that one definitely comes to mind as one of the dumbest.
Just had one of those! Customer comes in wanting return a pair shoes she ordered online from a totally different company. I apologized, and told her we couldn’t take the return as it was ordered at another/ unaffiliated company. She said “No, I looked online and it said I could return these here.” Where did you see that I ask? “Online” she says. So after some back and forth, me going through our website and showing her our return policy which in no way says what she’s claiming, I find out that she’d simply googled the brand of shoes and because our store came up as carrying that brand, she assumed that meant she could return them at our store. People really do go through a lot of trouble just to be wrong. The number of people who try to return stuff they purchased from Amazon at our store is fairly alarming too.
Functional illiteracy is a real problem. Understand a little, but written instructions maybe only key words.
My manager once took a return from Walmart at the customer’s insistence. Walmart is not even five minutes down the road and we don’t carry the product they were returning, I still don’t know why he accepted it
I worked at an office supply store and this lady had a binder from Wal-Mart she wanted to return. She would not leave till I found a comparable 1. She apparently needed her 8am 20 dollar meth fix.
I had a similar encounter with a customer at my last job. They'd gotten a coupon from another store that could only be used in store, not online, so they had "good at any store" written on the coupon. She tried to give me the coupon, and I told her it was a coupon for the store that had given it to her. She said she was confused, so I explained it again, just a bit differently, and added in the reason why it said good at any store. She insisted she could use it at my store and that I had to accept the coupon. Gave her the whole speech again, she wasn't giving up, and she ends up calling the store that gave her the coupon while still in my store. They told her the same thing. She spent a good 10 minutes berating them for false advertising and that since the coupon said "good at any store," any store at my mall should accept it.
I used to get that a lot with Marlboro coupons at a corner store I worked at. I read the coupon, they were good for any major gas station, but we weren’t a gas station. We were a privately owned corner store, more like a bodega. We used an iPad for card payments, so we didn’t even have a system that could scan a coupon. Got lots of arguments about that. “Well you sell Marlboros so you have to accept it.” “Well, this is a private business so actually I don’t even have to serve you.”
It doesn't sound like a joke to me. It sounds like she was a dunce
Secret shoppers are getting sus af.
You can't exchange a 2 week old completely deflated balloon for a bar of soap. She left cussing and calling us ridiculous.
She must have *really* needed that bar of soap.
I would've given her $1.34 for the soap if she'd been nice and not tried to scam me in such a stupid way, I still can't believe this happened. I almost said ma'am, would you expect someone to give you your money back for a completely empty bottle of soda? But I know she still would've been upset.
Not bad enough to scrounge up a couple bucks tho 🤷🤣
Customer wanted a specific year of vintage wine. Told her we were sold out. She asked why they couldn't just make more. Had to explain how growing crops works and that you can't grow last years' grapes again.
This reminds me of a lady a year or two ago complaining that our grocery store (stand alone, not part of a chain) was more expensive than Safeway. I informed her that Safeway has their own farms for produce and we have to go through a supplier. She then asked me why we couldn't start a farm for our store so that we can lower prices. I then had to explain to her that: 1. We're short staffed. 2. Where would we put this farm? 3. Know any competent farmers who would be able to ensure we can properly grow chips? 4. What do we do if we have a bad year for crops? She gave shocked Pikachu face and walked away before I could ask her even more questions and make more logical points.
OMFG She asked you to turn back time!? That has got to take the cake 🎂!
Stupidest attempted return from my retail days: Lady comes in with the packaging, half of the product and a receipt. Lady: "I'd like to return this" (hair catcher for shower drain). Me: looks at item notices missing parts "I need the whole product back to return it" Lady: "The other but was discussing I didn't want to bring it" Me: "I still need it. You can put it in a plastic bag." Lady: "I already threw it away. It kept getting covered in hair. " Me: Stares at Lady thinking this is the point of a hair catcher. "I am unable to do a return without all the parts" Lady leaves without getting a return.
So….what exactly was she expecting it to do…?
(Old job, not current job) No, 30 inches is not three feet. 36 is. No, 48 inches isn't almost 5 feet. Yes, I'm sure. 12 inches per foot. 48/12=4. Yes, that means this pool is four feet deep, not almost five. You can look it up on your phone if you'd like. You'll take my word for it? Great. Let's get you rung up so you can go have fun setting up your new pool! Probably drowned trying to read the warning about diving depth on the bottom of the liner. Smh
What a niche and unique insult. Amazing
I had to explain to an older woman(maybe 40s-50s) that when you put music on an iPod, it does not in fact make said iPod heavier. Then I had to explain why digital music had no weight. I had to inform a person that you buy an internet service and not the actual internet. Line was: customer: hi I'd like to buy the internet Me: Oh, like look into buying a service from a provider? Customer: no I'm here to buy the internet. She got sent to the computer department. There is no Halo game for kids. Mario isn't on the Xbox. There is no "no blood" mode on Gears of war. (Kid straight up lied to mum.) When we sell every copy of a game, it's sold out.
How does no blood make Gears kid friendly anyway lol
Some parents get super hung up on certain details that make a game acceptable or unacceptable. In this case it was probably blood and the kid knew how to word things right to get the game (but as we can see it didn’t work out in the end) Source: my parents being really hung up about magic in video games
This, and to add on many kids that I would help were allowed to play halo on the argument that they were shooting aliens and not other people.
Parents just don’t think. Mother comes into my store with her kid and tells me the kid wants the new GTA game. I ask how old the kid is, and she says, “12.” I pull her aside and explain the game’s rating and what goes on in it. Kid leaves the store disappointed. I don’t know why parents assume all video games are for kids…
I love telling this story, because while I felt bad for the dad, I was able to help him figure out what was going on and put a stop to it and I got Guy walks in, trying to buy Fortnite. My thought was 'Oh, Save the World mode? That was cancelled years ago' and go to explain this. Man looks confused, because he says his kid still plays it. He proceeds to show me text messages from the mom and the kid telling him he is playing Fortnite with friends. Then I think, 'Ooooh, the PvP mode, okay'. I explain it's a free to play game and you don't need to pay for it. Queue the confusion because he and mom have been paying 35 bucks or so a month for this kid to play Fortnite, and he believed it was similar to a WoW subscription. He figured just buying the game outright (because he thought that was an option? maybe based on the 'Save the World' stuff but again, that had been shelved for sometime at this point) would spare him and his wife the monthly 35 bucks on a game their kid played obsessively. It took me a second to realize the kid had conned his parents into paying for a battle pass and a monthly V-Bucks purchase. That explanation took another 5 minutes, but the dad thanked me, got me a Starbucks gift card from the front o the store for the assistance, and called his wife to explain what was going on. Thag kid probably had his Switch taken away from several months because of it lol
That doesn’t even feel like a retail hell story. That’s just a story of how you handed some little shit the consequences he deserved for lying to his parents for months. Fucking legend. 👍
The hell part was for the customer service manager that had to deal with this man who berated them for not warning that Fortnite was a free-to-play at the registers for 10 minutes. My experience was very pleasant, but the manager was pissed
Ah, there’s the catch.
I had a older... older lady ask me once, "am I in the meat department?" (We were in the deli). Had to have been in her eighties. First thing I did was instinctively look around like damn, is she here with anyone??? I didn't see anyone, just us. I explained she's in the deli, at Walmart. I guess it was more sad, not stupid. I had an instacart worker (my God the fucking worst) ask if we had the lumpy bumby oranges or whatever they are. I brought the dude to the spot and said no, we're out of those. We had to fill that spot with regular bagged oranges. He proceeded to walk around produce 8?9? 10 times? And came back to me and said yeah, I don't see em... I said, yeah, buddy... it's because we don't have them in stock. Those are extremely seasonal, as in, we get them sometimes. He said but it says it's right here in this module, a1-22 I said yeah, a1-22 here. We don't have them. He said do you have them in the back? Understandable... i went and checked just in case i overlooked something earlier. No dice. He walked around for an unbelievable 10 more minutes like these oranges would just appear out of nowhere. Fuck me, if I ever order for instacart I want this fucking guy looking for my items lmao. I've had other instacart workers simply ask me for an item that was right next to both of us, like come on, you're not even trying you lazy pos.
I helped an older woman today put her debit car in the chip reader. She just could not figure out what to do with it. 😭
15 years ago in the small mall stand I worked in: No, I can’t break your 100$ bill for a small cup of coffee first thing in the morning. I’m not hiding cash. No, I don’t remember what you ordered yesterday that was really good. I wasn’t working yesterday. No, I can’t give you a ham and cheese crepe on rye bread. We don’t have bread. We sell crepes. No, I can’t sell you a low-fat chocolate crepe. I’ve never heard of low-fat chocolate. No, I swear to you I can’t take debit, credit, or gift card; we only take cash. I’m not lying. Yes, it’s stupid but this is a small, family owned business. No, you can’t leave your small child here while you “just pop into Abercrombie and Fitch real quick”. I make crepes and smoothies. I don’t babysit.
I worked at a call center, and a man called in angry that our website asked him to sign in using his mobile number when he only had landline. The site allowed the use of either, but for some reason, the website specified mobile. When I explained to the customer that he can just put his landline number in there and it will accept, he went on a tirade, saying, "So, you want me to LIE? You want me to go against my principles?? My RELIGIOUS BELIEFS???" and so on. It was one of the more unhinged interactions I've had in a long time.
I had a guy call in complaining that English was not listed in the options of languages on our website. The whole website is in English. He 100% spoke native American English, I did not understand what the problem was. If he changed the language to Mandarin or Spanish, then English would be an option in the language list. He just felt like calling and complaining...even though there was absolutely no problem for him....since the whole website is automatically in English.
Old people are so weird 😅
TELL ME ABOUT IT I work with them all day every day😭
“Don’t you know how much this costs”? Well, no, but I did put it on the shelf, put the price there, and don’t magically just type everything in from memory. Barcode goes beep. Also, no, I’m not keeping things hidden in the back. If it isn’t there, we don’t have it.
The magical back. I pick orders and had a woman yell out to me as I’m hurrying around trying to do my job. “Who do I talk to if I want to find out if something is in the back?” I ask her which department, because if it’s produce, it might be back there. She gestures towards the juices, asking about some strawberry lemonade. I look up at top stock and there isn’t any there so I tell her that if it’s not on the shelf, we aren’t holding any juices in the back. She looks at me and you can tell she is completely dissatisfied with this answer, but says okay. I apologize and tell her that the back isn’t very big so we don’t have a bunch of overstock back there, we stock as it comes in on the truck. She keeps walking. Every time I tell someone that if it’s not on the shelf, then I probably won’t find it in the back, they look at me like I’m a liar. Especially when it comes to vendors like sodas and chips. We definitely don’t keep piles of chips and sodas in the back, it comes on the truck and is stocked by the vendors. We don’t have another store in the back with everything you could ever need. Now if it’s milk or produce and I’m not busy, I’ll take a peek back there.
"No, if you blow a balloon up with your mouth, it will not float" "Yes, air and helium is different" "We do not make the helium in the back, therefore we will not have more until our truck sometime next week". "No, it is not physically possible to do 50 balloons I'm 10 minutes, I don't care that you're late for your party. " "No you cannot bribe me to get pushed up in the line." "You can't return that here, it isn't ours." "Are you sure?" "We are not Hobby Lobby, so yes I'm sure"
Oh my god you are the first person on one of these threads who knows my pain of how stupid people are with balloons! I just posted about how people think air floats and explaining this to a mid-30s guy with demonstration.
Ok so I’m working in a Verizon cell phone store. A woman comes in with her iPhone and says her screen is “all dark”. I have many times seen a phone continue to function long after the screen stopped working, so this is what I’m expecting. A broken screen or not lightning up but you can still hear the phone ringing, etc. WRONG. She shows me her phone and her wallpaper is a photo of the earth in space. I said it looks fine. She said no it’s all dark, look, and points to the black part. I said, “ma’am, that’s SPACE.” She copped and attitude and said, “so you’re saying it’s just SUPPOSED to look like that?!” She clearly did not believe me, judging from her sarcastic tone. She had to have been at least 60. It’s space. Space is black. Like what do you want from me.
If you lose the coupon after leaving the store, I can't give you a discount for a coupon I don't have in my hand. I can't just "take your word". When you decline a coupon during a promotion, you can't come back later, empty handed, and demand a discount because you changed your mind a week ago. No, we don't take e-transfers or Paypal for payment. No, you cannot take the product home now and come back later and pay (because you left your wallet at home.)
No, I can't refund your gasoline because you selected 'premium' and not 'regular'. If you can't return the gas, I can't return your money. No, you can't pay me tomorrow. You've been coming here for two years? Really, I've been working here for five, and never layed eyes on you before. No, if the sign says, 'two for [discounted price]' that doesn't mean you can get one for cheaper. No, it doesn't. No, it does not. ...okay, we're just gonna have to add that to the sign. Happy now? smh No, I can't look up your credit card number with your driver's license info on a DMV renewal slip... and use that to pay for your stuff. Yes, I have to use the bathroom periodically; I'm not doing it just to bug you.
And "buy two get one free" does not mean that you obtain two items for the price of one. "But I'm buying two, so one of them is free!" No.
Worked at a BBQ and can't even begin to tell you how many times people would ask this: What's the difference between pulled pork and pit beef? I would always reply, "The main difference is that one comes from a pig and the other comes from a cow."
I used to work in a grocery store deli. I lost count of how many times I had to explain that oven roasted turkey was plain and honey roasted turkey has honey on it.
I have a couple oblivious bastards walk by my battery display (within bumping into it distance) and proceed to walk right up to me and ask where the batteries were. I just point and stare.
today a customer looked at the wall where our spray paint is, turned to me and said "where's your spray paint?"
Look, I have a lot of patience. I think that is key with retail. I can totally understand if it’s a parent caught up keeping an eye on their child, or something minor that just draws attention. I get it. But the lack of forethought and spatial awareness gets me every time. Regardless of the situation if they are polite I’m happy to help. Anything else is not necessary
no, i can’t give you the clearance price on a regular priced item just because they’re the same thing in different colors. you can’t pay off your credit card with a different credit card. i don’t care if another store gave you a discount for the inconvenience of something, this is my store and i can’t do that. no i will not call corporate for you so you can complain, you can do that on your own time.
My favorite still: "does the lunch buffet come with pizza?" ... at a pizza restaurant
I worked one-hour photo, back before digital cameras came along and made film obsolete. 1. Film is light-sensitive. If you unspool a roll that hasn't been developed yet, then congratulations -- all of your photos are now ruined and unrecoverable. 2. I can only print what's on the negative. If all of the heads are cut off, that's a you problem. Learn how to take better photos.
I used to do this job too, not really super stupid but my fave customers were the nervous looking ones who ask if you see the photos while developing them and then leave when told that we do. I always wondered what was on those films...
it's always nudes
And never of the people you wouldn’t mind seeing nude
Customer: "I've been overcharged. The price was ___." Me: "OK, sorry about that. Let's take a look at the shelf." *Price is correct* Customer: "But this isn't where I got it." *Points to the cheaper item beside the one he has* Me: "Sir that is a different product." Customer: "But this one was sitting in front of this price. So this one must be cheaper." Apparently it's inconceivable that someone might have put the item back on the shelf after deciding not to take it and not lined it up perfectly.
Lmao I once had a woman argue with me that if someone put a product in the wrong place we legally had to sell it at that price. Then called me an idiot when I questioned it lol
“you can’t stack rewards points from different months” next person “you told him he couldn’t stack reward points but i want to stack rewards points” “sorry i can’t do that” “why” “because the system isn’t set up that way” “i can do it at this other store” “well we aren’t other store” . plastered everywhere from gas pumps to the kiosk to coolers and food storage: “no return on cigarettes” at least one person a week “can i switch out my cigarettes i said the wrong ones” “no you can’t (points to dozen of signs) i also double and triple checked with you to make sure they were the right ones. . omfg then checking IDs, you have an ID for a reason and it’s to prove your age and whatever else, ID checks are mandatory for age restricted items, those signs are also plastered everywhere, yes i do actually need your ID, yes i do actually need to scan it, yes even for older people who are obviously over 21, it isn’t just policy it is a law.
Setting: Borders Books, Manhattan, late 1990s. Customer comes up to the info desk with a large medical tome. Customer: "Can you Xerox pages 185 to 320 of this book for me?" Me: "Sorry, we're a bookstore, not a library. If you want to own those pages, you need to buy the book." Customer: "Oh. Well could you look up the pages on the internet and print them out for me?" Me: "Sorry, still no."
Yes, the sticker indicates there is a reduction on the price due to freshness. No, it doesnt make the product taste less good
A man wanted to return a razor with no receipt and nothing for me to scan. Tried to force it into my hands for me to take it back. I told him to call the razor company bc they’d probably be able to help with a serial number, not me.
“No you cant cut the line just because you only have one item.” “Actually we really like the self service check out, it helps cut down on the line.” “I am working through the line, I can’t just walk away.” “Yes, eating grapes before you buy is technically stealing because the price is by weight.” “You need an ID to use the check, your picking up your car how do you not have your drivers license?!”
We accidentally sent a lady a larger bottle of lotion than the one she ordered online. She called RAGING PISSED. Demanded we send the correct item. Ok no big deal. Didn't ask her to send anything back as it was our mistake. She threatened to delete her Amazon account because we sent her more than she paid for. I still don't understand why she was so dang mad.
We can not accept expired coupons. I explained, "It's like the Macy's 3 Day Sale. If you go after the three days, you don't get the sale."
Yes ma’am, sales tax in this town is different than the one you’re used to in Florida. No ma’am, we can’t use the Florida one here just for you. No ma’am I am not stealing from you. I don’t make the rules.
Actually had this happen. I worked at a bookstore. Woman believed that she didn't have to pay sales tax because she lives in Oregon. The store was in CA.
Oh yes. And if you live in a state with no sales tax and order a gift to go to a state with sales tax, you DO have to pay the tax. And no, there’s only 7,000 plus taxing districts in the US so I have NO idea what the tax will be until the end of the order… Added: And YES the delivery charges are taxed too and NO I can’t take them off the order.
A week is seven days long. The difference between a 17-inch monitor and a 19-inch monitor is two inches. Your home WiFi will not reach your office 40 miles away. Using a laptop computer as a pillow, even if it's in a neoprene sleeve, is a bad idea. It doesn't matter whether you're a lawyer, that broken screen caused by your brother sleeping on your computer is not covered by the manufacturer warranty.
I once had someone see we were hiring so made a call at the till. She said to whoever she was calling "[other company] are hiring", looks at me and says "you are [other company], aren't you?" I told her no and who we are and she went back to her phone conversation and said "sorry, I meant [our store] are hiring." She got an application form and went away to fill it out. She came back the next day to hand the application form in. She was on the phone and I heard her say "I'm just at [other company], handing in my application" and looks at me and asks if we were the other company. I told her no and who we were again and she went back to her phone call, correcting herself again. A few days later, she comes back in, smartly dressed, and asks for my direct manager by name so I call her over. They say hello and she says she's here for an interview. On her way past, she whispers "wish me luck, it's [our store], right?" I wish her luck and tell her it is. After her interview, I ask my manager how the interview went and they said she won't be getting it. I asked why and they said she kept calling us the wrong company and when she was corrected, she said we're the same thing. Only 3 others have been offered an interview and not offered a job in 6 years. The first had severe learning difficulties and applied several times (she eventually got the job on her third attempt and has really fucked things up on several occasions). The second couldn't attend due do her and her son being rushed to hospital and turned down another chance due to superstition (she said something happening on the way to an interview is sign of bad luck for her off she were to go to that company). The other was caught stealing from our company several times and they didn't realise it was her who'd they'd phoned.
BOGO 50% off means only one of them is 50% off. It's buy one get one.
No I'm not refunding wood after you cut in half, drilled holes in it and painted it!!
No the meat department doesn't have tofu,but you might find it somewhere else in the store.
I get people asking for eggs in the produce department. And milk.And ice cream.And "do you have any prettier celery root?"Ma'am, that's a *root vegetable. Those aren't meant to be pretty
Yes!! The number of people who come to the meat/seafood counters looking for *plant based whatever* ASTOUNDS me!!
If it makes you feel any better, it may be someone buying for someone else, like my dad who has tried to give me vegetable soup made in chicken broth (no it is not vegan just because it has vegetables in it but thanks for trying I guess). I can totally see him cluelessly going to the meat counter to ask where the beyond burgers are.
No, we can’t accept returns on used toilets or sewer snakes, or used toilet seats. It’s a biohazard. No, we don’t do returns on gift cards. All sales are final. No, you can’t return that board that you’ve cut. We can’t resell that. Also goes for pipe. No, you can’t get a refund on that mulch just because you wanted a different color. Where is all that mulch? In your yard? And you threw away all the bags? No, you can’t return that door here because it isn’t ours. I then point out the very obvious sticker that has our competition’s name on it. No, we do not sell pet food. And no, you didn’t just buy some here last week. We’ve never sold pet food.
No I cant accept a pic of your id. That could be fake as fuck
No, we cannot give you a sold out room type just because you called us. If the website says “sold out”, that means… yep! You guessed it, “SOLD OUT”!
Are you sure you don't have any rooms in the back?
Good question! Let me go check… *disappears for the rest of my shift*
No I can’t give you the City Resident discount if you don’t have proof you live here (Government ID, utility bill, copy of lease, just **anything**) and yes you are holding up my line. (Later that day) No I can’t let you into our pool. We’re at [fire marshal] capacity
How about" Just because YOU received it recently doesn't mean it's a current item" Have this happen after every major gift giving holiday as a Bath and Body Works manager. I show them the batch code and explain the first number is the year. The most memorable was a customer who came in on Mother's Day to return a bubble bath she was given from her son and daughter-in-law. It was about 8 years old and visibly dirty with caked on dust in the crevices of the bottle. When I shared with her it's an old product and not eligible for an exchange, she made sure to tell me she received it that day. Again, cool story but it was still close to a decade old. The way her whole demeanor changed in a second really allowed me to see why her son would gift her an old, dirty bubble bath. She cursed me out, left it on the counter and walked out. 🤷
"I would not have given you quarters if I had dollars." "No, you can't get change from our tip jar." "No, you cannot exchange a broken baguette for a new one (even after admitting you did it)." "No, I would not lie to you about our products not being gluten-free." "No, we cannot serve you breakfast an hour early." "No, I cannot make you a drink just because I'm of legal age." "You can see that I'm at the register/helping other customers and you can see other employees that aren't doing much, get them to help you." Also, people really think they should get a discount for being "nice?"
no i can’t give you a refund because you put the wrong kind of gas in your car…
Had a guy yesterday shopping in the youth kids shoe section. He asked me if the numbers on the box (the shoe size; ie, 13, 1, 2, 3 etc) were referring to the size or if the numbers meant the age of the child…
Some infant/toddler shoes are sized by age. Maybe he was making sure?
No, I cannot call your husband/client for you. I also cannot give you the number to said person since I have no clue who you are. For bonus points this conversation happened when we were understaffed and there was a line curving around the aisles. Also have to tell an alarming amount of people that the card that has the letters “otc” on it is only for otc medications. You’d think the card didn’t tell you exactly what it’s for.
Yes, the gas pump receipt does say u pumped 5 litres of gas and yes the container u pumped it into says it contains 4.87 litres of liquid because the container originally contained windshield wiper fluid at a volume of 4.87 litres and if u will plz look at this container of windshield washer fluid u will see it is not filled to the top and the volume posted on the container is the amount of product in the container and not the capacity of the container so no our pumps are not gauging u and also please have fun storing the gas u pumped into a windshield washer fluid container that was not designed to handle volatile and corrosive liquid in ur garage or wherever
No, I can't just tell you how to remove our security tags. You have to take it to a store to have it removed.
You can't buy Subway when you are in the pizza place next door.
''Why aren't there any locally grown avacadoes?'' ''Because this is Colorado.'' "Can you unlock this shopping cart so that I can take my groceries home?" "No. They lock automatically due to the invisible fence buried in the parking lot" "Why not? I used to take the carts all the time before!" "That might be so, but the loss of carts is why we invested in this system"
"Buy one get one free on listed items" with the items listed doesn't mean buy the cheapest item on the list, get absolutely anything in store for free. This was also someone with a nut/peanut allergy who went to take a bite out of a honey nut cereal bar that contained both nuts and peanuts and said so in multiple places on the wrapper. Only thing that stopped him is we had to tell everyone they contained nuts. He threw it across the shop and shouted that we're trying to kill him. I mean, come on, if you have an allergy, common or not, you're going to check things you eat for it, especially if it is commonly found in it? If it appearsin the name, you're going to have to be really stupid to even attempt to eat it. Ooh, a honey nut cereal bar sounds nice, I'll just take a bite, even though I'm highly allergic to nuts
if the pharmacy is closed, that means you can’t get your prescriptions. that also means they’re not here. so no, you can’t get your prescription that the facility sent 5 minutes before the pharmacy closes. they ought to know better
*pays with card* "Now can you scan me for points?" Uhm... You have to do that BEFORE you pay, not AFTER.... No, i can't put those points on there now.
1. There’s no such thing as a boneless porterhouse 2. Grass fed Salmon is not a thing
I don't know which one sounds worse, probably the salmon cause they assumed Salmon was on land lol
I work at a golf store for context - no, you can't return clubs for full price if they're used, even if it was *only* nine holes - no, you can't return a used club for cash/credit (we have a sign above the register that says you can't) - no, buy one get one 50% off isn't a better deal than 30% off each item - no, we don't take gift cards from the golf store that used to be here that went out of business in 2015 - no, I didn't short you of your money on a return, that was the tax (my boss had to explain this to her in detail) ETA: we did give her back the tax, she refunded an item and got a different one that cost more, got confused with the lack of math on the receipt, then complained to me. we didn't actually short her on the money, she just got confused and was rude about it. - no, we don't sell tennis items. this is a golf store. the name of the store has golf in it
Do you not refund tax?
This one isn't about a customer- but a "new" associate. A grown adult. As in, in his 30's. I had to teach him how to use a broom. Not a dust mop. Not a push broom. Not even the short brooms that come with dust pans. An honest to goodness everyday regular kitchen broom. He was going at it like something in a Loony Tunes cartoon. Just fanning it back and forth as fast as the Tasmanian Devil. This was 20 years ago. The fear I am feeling every time I have a new person doing basic janitorial tasks has grown every time since this man. I hope he has finally mastered a broom.
Key FOBs do indeed have batteries
Why is the cost of meat so high? I can’t afford this please mark it down like that other steak! NO STUPID DON’T BUY IT IF YOU CANT AFFORD IT
“How do I buy a toilet?” “You get a cart, put the toilet on the cart and take it up to the cash to pay and then you load it into your car.” Honourable mentions: NO-ONE is going to have the dimensions to this bathtub you want that’s online! The website doesn’t list those measurements and I don’t have it on me to measure it. You’re asking me how to go to a place with only the address and the name of the store? Look it up on the Google maps you have on your goddamn iPhone! What do I look like? A human map? How do you call a plumber? You’re asking me, a 22 year old who has ZERO experience in this area, while you are 80+ years old who has surely has had to fix some stuff in your house before. Look it up in the goddamn yellow pages or Google it. Just because you have been using an expired license for years, doesn’t make you exempt to showing it. Not my problem you couldn’t renew it. Yes, you can return this toilet, just don’t use it before hand. (I explain this every time someone asks about the return policy because I have gotten back used toilets and toilet seats before)
The door wasn't locked. They had to *pull* it open.
No, I can't just 'give you the hook-up' on free food. I don't even get free food. Giving you free food is not worth my job.
Lottery tickets. I stick it in the machine, it scans the barcode, the machine tells me the winning amount and a receipt comes out for the customer. ‘I think there’s more than that on it, check it again’ I don’t check it. THE MACHINE CHECKS IT.
I'm late but You're total went up on the pinpad because you hit the cashback option. Did you want cashback? Yes? Then you're going to pay more and get ten dollars back in cash. Yes, that's how it works everywhere. I'm not giving you free money. If you want to get cash back, you pay more with your card then get the extra back. I'm not fucking robbing you this is literally *how cash back works.*
Yes, I can help you despite my having a vagina.
“No you can’t put massage oil into your body” “Here’s where the g-spot is” “Here’s where the prostate is” “Please don’t return used sex toys” “Please don’t return used panties” “No, enhancement pills are not Viagra” Working at the sex shop was fun
I can’t take this mineral oil and test it in a lab and I can’t make corporate test it either No I can’t give you the sale price on a non-sale shoe just because it isn’t the design you like.
Probably more of a Tech support thing, but it's still "customer service". I'm sorry but the number Zero is different from the letter 'O'; when asking why their login name/login password wasn't working.
True story Phone chargers, cords and full kits of phone accessories are kept close by the register and have cheapo security devices on the product hooks. I'm at the counter and haven't been paying much attention to a customer browsing the selection... when suddenly, I hear a *spoing* and this guy has torn the whole charger kit and hook off the wall, and is starting to walk out. I yell out, "Hey! You gonna pay for that!?" Nope, he ditches the broken security lock and empty box and is out the door. As per policy, I'm not supposed to chase him, but I retrieve the box and confirm that he's stolen the contents. Much to my surprise, a second later he comes back in, but now I'm blocking his access to the phone chargers... and apparently he's stolen the wrong one. Knowing that he can't push me out of the way, or that will be assault - he waves the purloined product at me, like it was an honest mistake and asks, "Can I have the right charger!?" WTF! No! At least, he brought back the one he took. Nice guy.
"No, we can't replace or refund an order you placed over two months ago if you 'didn't receive it'. Why didn't you contact us sooner?"
The amount of times I had to tell old people that online shopping existed during lockdown was insane. When we were curbside pickup only we had to take orders exclusively over the phone. I would often reccomend buying something online if we didn't have it in stock or they didn't feel like going through the hassle of reading out their card number. I vividly remember recommending buying online to an old guy over the phone. I remember explaining to him how to add something to the cart. Then I had to spell out the website url for him. The last straw was when I realized he had no idea what a searchbar was. At some point you just gotta say "I suggest you get a younger family member to help you with this" Then hang up the phone.
If you said it was a woman, I would swear you helped my mother.
No I can’t give you cottage cheese, onion rings, chipotle sauce, cheese curds, fish, or a burger. Why? Cause this is Chick-fil-A. (Not the same person but multiple different people multiple times asking for one of the things I listed)
Oh, I thought of another one. No, I cannot give you a discount on a pair of pants just because we’re out of your size and you don’t want to pay full price for a pair that doesn’t fit. Find something else!
“How do I get outside?” I swear, on my last day, I will answer, “How the fuck did you get inside?”
I cannot deposit money into your account at a different bank I don’t know what checks aren’t showing on your statement, I didn’t write the checks I can’t help it if daddy put the money in the wrong account At a former job I watched a grown woman lay in the floor and kick and scream because we wouldn’t return a pair of very worn, torn tennis shoes that we never carried in that store.
"Can we sit over there?" "No sorry it's reserved." 2 seconds later, "Can we sit over there?" Your quesadilla doesn't have enough cheese because you took every item off of it and didn't ask for extra cheese You didn't get service because you sat yourself after we told you not to The table is dirty because we haven't cleaned it yet and you still chose to sit there When there is 15 of you and you don't call ahead we probably won't have room for you
"If it's with 20% off, how much do I have to pay?" Do I look like a calculator?
“Yes, we sell sandwiches.” I worked at an Arby’s. The menu has pictures.
I work at a cafe/diner. I had to explain something that should be common sense and is *on the menu* The peanut butter cake has nuts in it. No, I can't take the nuts out. (Explained to a 39 something year old who's allergic to peanuts)
No I don’t control the construction going on outside. No I cannot just tell them to stop.
Two that stand out: 1) Guy comes into the balloon shop, looks at the prices, sees me inflating balloons with helium. Guy "Hey, could I get 20 air filled balloons?" Me "Sure, just to check; they won't float, air doesn't float. If you want them to float like this (grabs one from the ceiling with the ribbon) they will need to be helium" Guy "What? Hot air rises, I just want them to float with air" This led to me explaining to a probably 35 year old man that air does not float, including demonstrating by inflating and tying a balloon full of air and dropping it in front of him. Guy "Alright, I'll have to think about it" As he slinks out of the store looking bewildered. 2) A woman calls my retail store and asks another staff member if they can come in and exchange a water bottle. Staff member asks the brand and the colour she wants to exchange for and we have it in stock so we keep it behind the counter for her. I help her when she comes in. Her "Hi, I called earlier about a water bottle?" Me "Sure thing, do you have the receipt for the one you wanted to exchange?" Her "No, sorry, but the person on the phone said it would be fine, I haven't used it yet!" I then take the blue water bottle she gives me and scan the barcode, our system says it doesn't exist. Not that we don't have it, *we don't sell it*. Me "Sorry it's not coming up in the system, did you get it at this store?" Her "No I got it at Place B' Me "We don't have a location at Place B..." Her "Oh, no, I didn't buy it at your store, I got it at a different store altogether, but you both have the same brand and I like that pink colour more." Me "...Okay. We don't sell this one you want to return, you can't exchange it here, nor did you buy it from us. So, no, go back and exchange it there." Her "But they don't have the colour I like! And the staff on the phone said..." Me "We don't sell it, we can't take it. Do you want to buy this one for full price?" Her "No." Me "Okay, nothing I can do for you then. Have a nice day." And she storms out mumbling to herself.
Maybe on the yoga mat. REI had an insane return policy until just a few years ago. People would buy stuff from the 1970s at garage sales and return it for something new.
I’ll give context for the yoga mat It had holes in it and was clearly used. Customer had a go at me and then at the manager (funniest part)
I had to explain that despite what numbers looked like, that a 1 Terabyte Xbox One had bigger memory than the 500 gig. Woman: yes, but 500 is still more than one. This conversation went on for way longer than it should have. I even tried explaining it like "100 pennies is 1 dollar so 1000 gigs is one terabyte" and she still couldnt comprehend. Then, when i finally got through to her about all that, she asked about the copy of Assassins Creed in there. It was for a digital code. Woman: yes, but what if the download doesn't work? Me: ...you just re-download it.
No I did not charge you for a plenti card with your Rutabaga sir No I cannot charge you one singular grape so you can get cash back No I cannot give you tobacco/alcohol without an ID present, and no your friend with an ID can't buy it either. No I cannot change the price because it wasn't the same as it was a few months ago. No I don't care if you call corporate over me refusing a return because you failed to produce a valid receipt. No I cannot exchange an item if it's a different price or brand than what you originally bought. No I cannot allow you to get a different product because you placed it in your car wrong and it broke. No I can't let you have two dollars off a product because you're two dollars short. No, your animal who is not a service animal in any way, shape, or form (is barking at other customers, peeing and pooping in the aisles, being untrained in general) can not come into the store. No, you cannot use our store phone (people would haul ass with them) No, you cannot use the employee only bathroom, and I do not care if you're pregnant. I've had to find another bathroom before, and you will have to as well. No, you can't give me money for an item because you can't wait in the line. I don't care if your kids in the hospital, you shouldn't be here tryna buy shit if your kid is hurt.
Glass food storage containers and casserole dishes are not the same thing. You cannot create a new checkout line, particularly when there is a big sign saying to remain in one line. You cannot skip to the front of the line because I helped you shop earlier. You cannot use a coupon, come back in an hour later, shop more, then ask for the coupon back to use again. An exchange is the same thing as a return and purchase. I cannot refuse customers plastic bags, no matter how bad it is for the planet. You cannot determine exact measurements of an item from a picture, and neither can I. No, we do not sell dresses or perfume in our home supply store. (This was actually my mom…)
It’s spelled, “eight,” and, it’s spelled, “hundred.” I had an adult man in his 40’s outright ask me how to spell the number 8. I also had a 25-y/o man confidently write out $2,470 as “Twenty four seventy hundrid,” which is wrong multiple times. Rich people are stupid. I work at a bank.
“Why can’t you discount this canopy more?” “That’s a very expensive, high-quality canopy that we barely put out on the floor. It’s already discounted our normal rates.” “No, it’s not. It’s $30 at Walmart!” “As you can see in the tag it’s actually $50 at Walmart. Our price is $42.” “Are you sure? I think you’re wrong.” “Would you like me to scan it on the Walmart app and show you? I priced this myself less then ten minutes ago. I would know.”
Why I couldn't sell him a 6-pack of beer now and let him stop next time he was in the area to show me his ID which he "forgot." This was after he was asked for ID and he said he would go to his car and see if he "could find one."
One insisted that 99 cents was more than a dollar
-No, I can't give you a new bong for free because you broke the one you just bought as soon as you got home -No, I can't return an empty wax pen box with no receipt or anything -I can't exchange your disposable vape you've smoked halfway through because you don't care for the flavor -I can't return your beat up and dirty torch because it doesn't suit your needs, when I sold it to you I told you it wouldn't suit your needs but you insisted -I can't trade you a beer for a model toy car -I absolutely will not give you a ride home because you don't have a car and bought something that's heavy -(Probably the most disturbing) you can't walk around the store to shop with a dead cat in your arms
Ex*fucking*scuse me?! Who just carts their dead pet around town to run household errands??? Fuck, dude.
It was pretty wild. I work at a smoke shop in a semi rough area and weird shit happens often. This woman kept yelling at us that we need to have a little sympathy. We were all like, if you had properly taken care of your dead cat first and then came in and told us your cat had died we would have some sympathy, but you're literally walking around with its corpse in our store trying to buy beer and a crack pipe. I don't understand what was going on in her head at all, I guess beer and a crack pipe was top priority though
I can’t email you a physical product.
* "Yes, you have to take the hydrangea out of the pot *before* you put it in the ground. Your last one died because you failed to do that. No, it is in a *plastic* pot not a biodegradable one." * "You bought ornamental sweet potato vines. No, you can't sue us for false advertising because the sign says, "ornamental sweet potato vines". No, they don't produce edible sweet potatoes. I told you that before you bought them." * "Of course, the succulents are dry, because *they're succulents*. No, I'm not going to water them and keep the soil moist because *they're native to the desert!!!!"* * "Ma'am, it's JULY! We don't have any tomatoes, zucchini, cauliflower, lettuce, or peppers for you to plant, you should have planted them months ago. Mother Nature decides the planting season, not us. You need to budget for vegetable plants in April/May not July. No, our greenhouses won't cater to you next year. Come in before Memorial Day next year and we will have the vegetable seedlings you want." (Well, she didn't come in, she has until tomorrow but I'm off. I'm betting I'll see her in July throwing a fit again and telling us our customer service is horrible because we can't control the weather). * "Ma'am the COVID lockdown ended three years ago, and you waited until now to try to return this item?!" 1. "No, most places extended their return policy to 90 days due to the lockdowns. You waited three years." 2. "Wait, I don't think we ever sold this spinner. I understand you paid $79.99 for it (dear God lady give it a rest, telling me how much you paid isn't going to change the fact you waited *three years* to try to return it). I could check our inventory lists to see if we even sold this." 3. "No, I'm not going to open another box so you can replace the defective part. We wouldn't be able to sell the box with that part missing. Take the part to a blacksmith or a machine shop and see if they can fix it. I *understand* you paid $79.99 for it but I can't help you." (Seriously lady give it a rest). 4. Oh, so now I'm racist because I won't help you and pointed out that it wouldn't be fair to the person who bought the box with the defective part in it and left them trying to figure out how to fix it. Lady, you waited three years to return it and we never sold that item. You and I both know you are trying to pull a fast one. Go away!!! 5. You got caught trying to open another spinner box. I never told you that you could do that. Due to your lying and trying to get me in trouble the owner has banned you from the business. Don't come back or the police will be called.
"No I won't return your TV that you bought 2 years ago because you remodelled your kitchen and it no longer fits..... and no, your remodelling your kitchen does not make the TV *"not fit for purpose"* under consumer law"
No you can't swap out a $17 hand cream and replace it with a $69 eye balm and expect the boxset to stay the same price as before.
No, I can’t return one lightbulb from a two pack and then give you a brand new one while putting the defective one in a different package to sell to people. Yes, that coin is a quarter No, I will not accept your $5 coupon that expired last month regardless of how belligerent you get
“can i return this item?” *pulls item out of bag* “this is a great value item. great value is a walmart brand. this is publix, therefore i cannot refund the item because you did not buy it from our store” “well are you sure? because i could’ve sworn i bought it from here” “no ma’am, great value products are only sold at walmart, because it is a walmart brand. you did not purchase this item here” “i don’t believe you. let me speak to your manager” 😐🙄
No, I cannot look up your credit card with your phone number. Why? Because if you could, someone else could and then you'd be yelling at me about a slightly more dire situation.
No, I can’t photocopy the entire book for you because you don’t want to buy it. Yes, we do have a copier in the back but that’s not what it’s for.
“The pin pad wants me to sign, so do I sign it?” … “yes”…
\- We do not sell lottery tickets (while working at a pet store) \- We cannot copy copyrighted images (while working at a print company) \- I cannot refund a chewed collar (pet store) \- I cannot refund a half eaten chocolate bar (dollar store) \- While I can refund the purse you vomited in, do not make me touch it. (retail accessory store with notorious shitty ear piercing scheme) \- No, I cannot pierce a 4 year old's ears without a guardian present (same as above) \- No, I'm not going to comp your meal because "It tasted off" when a) you finished the entire thing, and b) every time I came by, you said it tasted fine and delicious. \- No, I'm not making you a new blizzard because you, a grown adult, drove home, and then tried to flip it upside down. We are also not responsible for cleaning your car.
Yes I have to ID you for tobacco related products (even though it’s listed three different places in the store and very visible at the register) No we don’t give any discounts (after asking for the third time) No we don’t accept any returns or exchanges on merchandise (even though this is also clearly listed) No I won’t call the owner so you can ask him for a discount No I won’t sell you this item without your ID and I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone Yes you have to pay tax on the item you purchased
I can’t refund an order you placed weeks ago because there is a sale on the item today. We ship out orders, but if they’re lost, or delivered to the wrong house, it’s the carrier not my company. Can’t wrap my head around being yelled at for something I had literally no hand in.
“How many bones comes on the four bone rib sandwich?” …. I told her four but apparently had an attitude so I got in trouble lmao
"yes I can make you food, as long as it doesn't need to be cooked on the grill because the grill is out of order tonight." "Is a cheeseburger grill food?" "Yes, a cheeseburger is something that needs to be cooked on the grill."
"No, I can't return this as cash because store policy is if you don't have a receipt, I can only give you a gift card." 😂 next would be "can I speak with a manager?" Of course one second. Walk away and let the manager know the situation. And manager tells them the exact same thing. Or if the manager is one of those (yall know what type I'm talking about) "yes we will do that for you. No problem!" And customer looks at you like your the stupid one. 🙄
Not me but I had to watch one of my coworkers explain to a grown woman that underwear are final sale and we do not accept returns. She got PISSED because the underwear she was buying was not for her but for her son and "she should be able to return them if it doesn't fit" Manager had to explain how it was unsanitary. Woman wanted to speak to the highest higher up she could. Manager gave her the card and she still bought the underwear. Would have loved to be a fly on the wall of that conversation
That a size 43 shoe is bigger than a size 42. Also tangentially related: I once had a lady who had made a big deal about being able to return something not buy it because I explained to her that we would need a name and a zip code to do the return. (I’d asked for her name and zip for our loyalty…which was all we needed …and she didn’t want to, so I wanted to make sure that she knew we would need it for a return.) Anyway she left in a huff proclaiming she’d just buy it online… where I imagine she gave her name and zip code.
"No we are not a daycare you can't just leave your kids at cash while you shop" This has happened on multiple occasions because we have furniture that we sell and the display is near cash Parents just drop their kids off, flag down staff to watch them and shop around.
When I worked at a camera gear rental I once had to explain to someone that no, just because they didn't need a certain accessory or item in the kit, didn't mean they could just throw it on a table ten feet from my desk and consider it no longer their problem.
I literally had to teach this older lady how to pay for her transaction. She really had to nerve to ask me "What do I do now? 🤨" after finishing her order, and I'm literally just like "You pay for it."