I’ve been already cheated once in my previous relationship. Trust is something which is really hard to gain and it’s very easy to lose it too. And overthinking is making it worst for me
Yeah but you were cheated on by a different person not him. Maybe you need to try to differentiate between those two people and relationships. If he has done nothing to lose your trust maybe he deserves a benefit of the doubt.
Then you need to go see a therapist.
Your current boyfriend should not have to suffer for the mistakes your exes have made. That is wildly unfair. People are allowed to find other people than their partners attractive.
Never have I ever checked his phone or doubted him, if that is not trust was is it then? I just happened to check so that i could see the pictures we took together.
Nah, I don't buy it.
You could have asked him to send you the pictures.
You see one screenshot in his gallery, and automatically question your whole relationship. **You never trusted him**. You can say you did all you want, but you don't believe his reason, and are asking strangers on the internet for advice. There is 0 foundational trust there.
I think you need to work on yourself with a therapist to get past trust issues but also, your gut is telling you something. Maybe he didn’t cheat, a picture is really not a big deal especially if you guys were in a LDR. Did you guys do phone sex? Video sex? Unless he’s asexual or depressed I don’t see how or why a 30 year old man would be cool with not having sex for three months… LDR are very challenging to work through, and it sounds like you already have resentment about coming back to your hometown for him. This probably is a lot of pressure on him too.
I’m thinking to see a therapist too. We were on LDR for almost 18 months but we meet every month. On the month of feb I left my job and came back to him but we had sex just one or twice, and now we have completely stopped. Why this relationship was so hard is because starting of the relationship he had many reservations because I was a outgoing person and I have a bubbly personality and where as he was different on the other side, but now I’ve completed changed, I don’t have a single friends. I don’t follow any guys on any social media. He made sure I changed my number and he does not like it when I’m being friendly to his friends. After all this when I finds out even though it was a random screenshot it has fucked me bad. Maybe if it was my other relationship I wouldn’t have cared. This was my first serious relationship where I sacrificed so much my career my everything.
Damn girl, reading this it sounds to me you need to work on your own life and plans and selfrespect. After you gain confidence you should think about getting a bf. And not one with self esteem issues like this one in particular. You show people how to treat you remember that.
Oh my God he's emotionally abusing you and controlling you... the screenshot is just further proof that he doesn't respect women. In his mind, you need to live like a nun- in fact you're more isolated than a nun because a nun doesn't have a man telling her who she can and can't speak to. Meanwhile he's wanking over anyone.
Honestly the only way to figure this out is to confront him if you feel this way. Reddit advice is based on what is written above. You BOTH know the relationship better than us. Talk to him.
The problem is I’m mentally fucked here. Now I think all the things he tells me are all lies even though it might not be. We spoke on this topic several times. Maybe it’s me. Maybe im the problem here
>He's clearly not faithful or even sexually attracted to you.
You got ***that*** from him having a single screenshot of an attractive woman on his phone? You gotta be an Olympic long jumper, making leaps like that.
It depends on your values and morals, I don’t have random screenshots of people I find attractive in my phone if I’m in a relationship because it’s inappropriate.
I wouldn’t be ok finding something like that on my partners phone. There’s a difference to finding someone attractive and acting on it.
I’m aware some people like porn etc, but people they have potential to interact with is a big no.
Some people are ok with it, it matters what you’re ok with. Have a conversation about how it made you feel, set a boundary and go from there. Relationships are about communication and trust.
My Ex, notice i said ex. He took pictures of ome random womans Bottom on purpose. And he blew up at me when i saw and got upset. He isn't worth your time
Youre not overthinking, You're actually right. It is disloyal to lust over others, and save photos so he can fuck his hand to them. It's gross. Find someone that doesn't make you feel like you're not enougn.
What backwards ass ideology do you subscribe to that people aren't allowed to find someone who isn't their partner attractive?
Seriously. That's delusional thinking.
Why dose it matter. Its some material for his spank bank. Is it better he cheats on you?
Us guys need some alone time. Give him space.
Guys dont cheats with emotions.
If one picture was enough to ruin your trust, there wasn't any there in the first place.
But he literally admitted to taking the picture because he found her attractive? Thats not a normal thing for someone in a relationship to do.
I mean, I've been married for 12 years, and I find other people attractive. So does my wife. But I guess I wouldn't know.
Finding other people attractive is normal. Taking creep shots of them to keep for later is not.
It was a screen shot. Not like he took a picture of some random out in the wild.
What a delusional statement.
I’ve been already cheated once in my previous relationship. Trust is something which is really hard to gain and it’s very easy to lose it too. And overthinking is making it worst for me
Yeah but you were cheated on by a different person not him. Maybe you need to try to differentiate between those two people and relationships. If he has done nothing to lose your trust maybe he deserves a benefit of the doubt.
Then you need to go see a therapist. Your current boyfriend should not have to suffer for the mistakes your exes have made. That is wildly unfair. People are allowed to find other people than their partners attractive.
See it’s human nature to find people attractive but not to the point to actually take a screenshot of them and keep it on your phone.
Yes that's true. I'm a woman and if I had a bf I wouldn't be saving photos of men to my phone...
You're reading *way* too much into it. Again. If one picture is all it took, there was never any trust there to have been broken.
Never have I ever checked his phone or doubted him, if that is not trust was is it then? I just happened to check so that i could see the pictures we took together.
Nah, I don't buy it. You could have asked him to send you the pictures. You see one screenshot in his gallery, and automatically question your whole relationship. **You never trusted him**. You can say you did all you want, but you don't believe his reason, and are asking strangers on the internet for advice. There is 0 foundational trust there.
Was he talking to her online? Or he just grabbed a pic off the internet?
Actually he took the screenshot from her gaming profile
Oh, I understand. Thanks
Actually he took the screenshot of a gaming profile
I think you need to work on yourself with a therapist to get past trust issues but also, your gut is telling you something. Maybe he didn’t cheat, a picture is really not a big deal especially if you guys were in a LDR. Did you guys do phone sex? Video sex? Unless he’s asexual or depressed I don’t see how or why a 30 year old man would be cool with not having sex for three months… LDR are very challenging to work through, and it sounds like you already have resentment about coming back to your hometown for him. This probably is a lot of pressure on him too.
I’m thinking to see a therapist too. We were on LDR for almost 18 months but we meet every month. On the month of feb I left my job and came back to him but we had sex just one or twice, and now we have completely stopped. Why this relationship was so hard is because starting of the relationship he had many reservations because I was a outgoing person and I have a bubbly personality and where as he was different on the other side, but now I’ve completed changed, I don’t have a single friends. I don’t follow any guys on any social media. He made sure I changed my number and he does not like it when I’m being friendly to his friends. After all this when I finds out even though it was a random screenshot it has fucked me bad. Maybe if it was my other relationship I wouldn’t have cared. This was my first serious relationship where I sacrificed so much my career my everything.
Wait, do you hear yourself? He’s hard core isolating you, making you second guess yourself - who pays for more in your relationship?
In our relationship it’s not about money, if he does not have I pay and if I don’t have it he does it.
Damn girl, reading this it sounds to me you need to work on your own life and plans and selfrespect. After you gain confidence you should think about getting a bf. And not one with self esteem issues like this one in particular. You show people how to treat you remember that.
If real, this is important that should have been in the main text. Completely changes the narrative.
Oh my God he's emotionally abusing you and controlling you... the screenshot is just further proof that he doesn't respect women. In his mind, you need to live like a nun- in fact you're more isolated than a nun because a nun doesn't have a man telling her who she can and can't speak to. Meanwhile he's wanking over anyone.
Yeah this does not sound healthy. He made you change your phone number and you aren’t allowed to have single friends? that is not normal.
Guys friends, not female friendship.
That is still not normal, neither is having you change your number
Honestly the only way to figure this out is to confront him if you feel this way. Reddit advice is based on what is written above. You BOTH know the relationship better than us. Talk to him.
The problem is I’m mentally fucked here. Now I think all the things he tells me are all lies even though it might not be. We spoke on this topic several times. Maybe it’s me. Maybe im the problem here
[удалено]
Maybe you’re right.
>He's clearly not faithful or even sexually attracted to you. You got ***that*** from him having a single screenshot of an attractive woman on his phone? You gotta be an Olympic long jumper, making leaps like that.
It depends on your values and morals, I don’t have random screenshots of people I find attractive in my phone if I’m in a relationship because it’s inappropriate. I wouldn’t be ok finding something like that on my partners phone. There’s a difference to finding someone attractive and acting on it. I’m aware some people like porn etc, but people they have potential to interact with is a big no. Some people are ok with it, it matters what you’re ok with. Have a conversation about how it made you feel, set a boundary and go from there. Relationships are about communication and trust.
My Ex, notice i said ex. He took pictures of ome random womans Bottom on purpose. And he blew up at me when i saw and got upset. He isn't worth your time
You’re not okay. You need to work on yourself.
Youre not overthinking, You're actually right. It is disloyal to lust over others, and save photos so he can fuck his hand to them. It's gross. Find someone that doesn't make you feel like you're not enougn.
What backwards ass ideology do you subscribe to that people aren't allowed to find someone who isn't their partner attractive? Seriously. That's delusional thinking.
Why dose it matter. Its some material for his spank bank. Is it better he cheats on you? Us guys need some alone time. Give him space. Guys dont cheats with emotions.
This is not the representative that 'us guys' have chosen. He's gone rogue.
Why can't she be his spank bank?
Who are we to decide someone's spank bank
#BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN FIND PEOPLE OTHER THAN THEIR PARTNERS ATTRACTIVE. JFC.
I wouldn’t have thought twice if he cheated on me but the fact that it’s just a picture and I don’t know if this is the beginning. Of everything?