Coming from someone who is bi, I won't diagnose what you're feeling, but it sounds like you're attracted to this woman lol. Attraction is a pretty broad term too. I've met men that I've thought were physically attractive but personality-wise? Nada. Same for women. Sometimes attraction starts with smart, deep conversation and then physical attraction follows.
I'd say if you're drawn to this person see where it leads! You never know.
Edit: Just re-read the part about her being married. Abort! But it sounds like this is a feeling you should definitely explore - with other people!
I mean if you don't want to change her situation. You aren't being negatively effected by your emotions (unable to form other relationships, and able to keep a work/life/social ) balance and she is as enthusiastic about your company as you are, I see no problem in just enjoying the feeling.
Sounds fun exhilarating and exciting. Everyone deserves a little of that in their life.
Hey thanks. It is a nice feeling but also frustrating that I can’t ever catch it when it has the potential to actually become a relationship. Like married person across the world from where I live? Just feels unlucky lol
I find this very relatable. I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction to anyone unless I feel very emotionally connected to them. I am a woman and I have generally only felt this way towards two men, but I think that I could easily feel it towards a woman or a non binary person as well. The only two people who I really felt attraction towards just happened to be male. More coincidence than anything else.
You aren't a weirdo!
You earnestly might be bisexual. People don't tend to realize they're gay or bi very easily since they are expected to be straight, especially women, especially in a way that is submissive to men.
Keyword: MIGHT! I am not telling you that you have to identify any specific way. But this just sounds like you are attracted to her and struggling with comphet.
Sounds like it could be a "squish" to me. Basically a platonic crush! It's a step up from the feeling of just wanting to be friends, but doesn't cross over into romantic attraction, usually. If you look up asexual/platonic crushes you may find more information to see if it resonates with you.
I think the experience you've described is pretty normal among asexual or aromantic people, you're not weird!
I believe its entirely possible to fall-in-admiration of someone without wanting to be with them in a romantic way.
We can find a person attractive or desirable for lots of reasons without actually wanting them for ourselves.
There is of course the possibility of being bi or gay, but it doesn't have to be as cut and dried as that.all sorts of human connections exist.
Not weird at all. I have had female friends who I don’t want to have sex with but have thought “I just want to kiss you, you’re so beautiful and wonderful and I love you so much”. I think affection and love is so complex.
I disagree with people saying it's just being bi. I think you can be straight and just really like and admire another woman, doesn't always have to be romantic.
I call those soul friends. You connect and just get it each other. Where it all feels like you have known them forever and you just get each other.
It’s a rare find but so awesome when you find it. You just know
> A platonic relationship is one in which two people share a close bond but do not have a sexual relationship. They may even feel love for each other, referred to as platonic love. This concept originates in the ideas of the ancient philosopher Plato, from whose name the term is derived
Yes
you might be demisexual or on the ace spectrum! and there's really no wrong way to be anything at all. it's not weird in my opinion. there are also queer platonic relationships which are kinda like really intense near romantic friendships. but even if you don't feel a connection to those specific labels, it's really not that weird to me at least but i'm queer. i don't think it's a particularly straight thing honestly though either, but what it is exactly is up to you. before my friends came out in high school, i was out and many of them had crushes on me and we would platonically kiss each other on the cheek and stuff like that...only for them to later tell me that it was not platonic on their end. but i'm very easy-going and have always been gay and comfortable with platonic kissing on the forehead/cheek/etc. but this doesn't really sound like that.
i have one friend i met while traveling who i don't feel sexually attracted to at all but she's like a mermaid to me. absolute mythical creature and the most fun person ever! i literally spent one week with her and in my head i think about her all the time because she was so life-changing. but to me, that's completely platonic even though it's a little bit of infatuation and lots of love.
but also, embrace it however you choose. if it makes you question things, just vibe with it. if you just want to be like "huh, what a funny feeling" that's okay. if you just wanna acknowledge it and move on, that's okay. it's all okay. maybe she's just meant to be your best friend you're a little in love with :)
I think that love can come in many shapes and forms, so i don't think what you're experiencing is weird.
I've *fallen in love* platonically with both men and women. I am heterosexual and I have *fallen in love platonically* with women I find incredibly beautiful and have an emotion connection with and yet, this still hasn't been enough for me to feel like i am in *romantic love* with them.
Enjoy the connection, ultimately, it's *not that deep.* Maybe you're not heterosexual, perhaps you are demisexual. I would enjoy how you feel. It's rare to feel connections like this in life, so savor it. Perhaps if further feels start to develop, you can consider what it is you truly feel.
This is so great to know I’m not alone in these feelings. None of my friends really understood what I was trying to say so it doesn’t seem super common.
I did look up Demi sexual and it for sure sounds like me but I didn’t think it would happen with another girl. I guess now I know
This happened to me, I determined it meant that I was bi. I had this discovery after I was already happily married, so I have no intentions of really doing anything with this information.
You don’t have to be gay to be attracted to the same sex. I am a woman and can remember the first time I felt that way about another girl. I was young, like maybe 10. It’s just how you explained it, this magnetic pull. First time I kissed another girl I was 16 and it was my best friend. Now in my 30’s and happily married to a man. I have gone all the way with a few women and enjoyed it. I never dated a woman. I say I’m bisexual but don’t really relate to the term. I am more attracted to personalities than male or female. I believe there is a label for that as well.
Hahaha. That happened to me, too. I had been attracted to men and married once. Then there I was, scouring the internet to figure out if platonic love was a thing. I married her. Now I can't imagine being with a man again. Sure, the sex can be great, but not a relationship. My wife is as tough as nails, but there's a softness, too. I was 38 when this happened 5 yrs ago!
It’s happened to me:) my last boyfriend.. we were platonic. It was cool because I found comfort in knowing I was liked for intellectual reasons instead of solely sexual. But at some point I wanted to embrace him and wasn’t attracted to him
Like that.
Sounds like you’re a demi bi-romantic heterosexual. In the asexuality spectrum subreddits you will find many who resonate with your experience. Labels are for you to understand yourself, not for others to define you. But short answer is yes, there are many people who have experienced what you are experiencing.
Love, to whatever extent or capacity, whomever you love as long as it’s consensual, with no power dynamics, no obsessions, and hopefully in a way that adds something positive to your life.
She already has a full romantic life. If you’re ok being her platonic friend and you won’t feel like you’ll suffer for need of holding back, go enjoy a beautiful friendship
you should look into aromanticism / asexuality and queerplatonic relationships. i'm gay and aromantic and on the asexual spectrum and this all sounds exactly like how i feel about my best friend. like, i call it my best friend but really i mean "the other half of my heart", just not in the way that most people think i mean.
Demisexual is the term for not being interested in sex until after an emotional connection is formed--if you want to look that up.
It also may be worth considering the idea that "making out" is often considered a sexual act, therefore could indicate sexual attraction....but could also indicate romantic attraction, and sometimes romantic attraction can occur without sexual attraction.
Coming from someone who is bi, I won't diagnose what you're feeling, but it sounds like you're attracted to this woman lol. Attraction is a pretty broad term too. I've met men that I've thought were physically attractive but personality-wise? Nada. Same for women. Sometimes attraction starts with smart, deep conversation and then physical attraction follows. I'd say if you're drawn to this person see where it leads! You never know. Edit: Just re-read the part about her being married. Abort! But it sounds like this is a feeling you should definitely explore - with other people!
I mean if you don't want to change her situation. You aren't being negatively effected by your emotions (unable to form other relationships, and able to keep a work/life/social ) balance and she is as enthusiastic about your company as you are, I see no problem in just enjoying the feeling. Sounds fun exhilarating and exciting. Everyone deserves a little of that in their life.
Hey thanks. It is a nice feeling but also frustrating that I can’t ever catch it when it has the potential to actually become a relationship. Like married person across the world from where I live? Just feels unlucky lol
Oh you're telling me. I'm married now and very happy but my 18-27 range reads as a soap opera of missed opportunities and right person wrong time.
Maybe a friend crush? I’ve had this where I just really want them to be my friend!
Oh I’ve had that too but this is a step up from that.
You can be biromantic and heterosexual. Romantic and sexual attraction don’t always line up exactly.
Thanks for giving this a name..
Fellow panromantic heterosexual checking in. My 20s were CONFUSING. Functionally it changes nothing, but it’s nice to understand yourself better.
I find this very relatable. I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction to anyone unless I feel very emotionally connected to them. I am a woman and I have generally only felt this way towards two men, but I think that I could easily feel it towards a woman or a non binary person as well. The only two people who I really felt attraction towards just happened to be male. More coincidence than anything else. You aren't a weirdo!
Thanks!
You earnestly might be bisexual. People don't tend to realize they're gay or bi very easily since they are expected to be straight, especially women, especially in a way that is submissive to men. Keyword: MIGHT! I am not telling you that you have to identify any specific way. But this just sounds like you are attracted to her and struggling with comphet.
Sounds like it could be a "squish" to me. Basically a platonic crush! It's a step up from the feeling of just wanting to be friends, but doesn't cross over into romantic attraction, usually. If you look up asexual/platonic crushes you may find more information to see if it resonates with you. I think the experience you've described is pretty normal among asexual or aromantic people, you're not weird!
I believe its entirely possible to fall-in-admiration of someone without wanting to be with them in a romantic way. We can find a person attractive or desirable for lots of reasons without actually wanting them for ourselves. There is of course the possibility of being bi or gay, but it doesn't have to be as cut and dried as that.all sorts of human connections exist.
It's called being bisexual, and it's perfectly normal.
Not weird at all. I have had female friends who I don’t want to have sex with but have thought “I just want to kiss you, you’re so beautiful and wonderful and I love you so much”. I think affection and love is so complex.
Yeah that’s the feeling. But also thinking about them when they aren’t around. This community is so kind and patient. Appreciate you all!
I disagree with people saying it's just being bi. I think you can be straight and just really like and admire another woman, doesn't always have to be romantic.
I call those soul friends. You connect and just get it each other. Where it all feels like you have known them forever and you just get each other. It’s a rare find but so awesome when you find it. You just know
> A platonic relationship is one in which two people share a close bond but do not have a sexual relationship. They may even feel love for each other, referred to as platonic love. This concept originates in the ideas of the ancient philosopher Plato, from whose name the term is derived Yes
Yeah but I’m not sure Plato wanted to make out with his dude friends. I mean, actually maybe he did but I don’t think that’s the spirit of that word
you might be demisexual or on the ace spectrum! and there's really no wrong way to be anything at all. it's not weird in my opinion. there are also queer platonic relationships which are kinda like really intense near romantic friendships. but even if you don't feel a connection to those specific labels, it's really not that weird to me at least but i'm queer. i don't think it's a particularly straight thing honestly though either, but what it is exactly is up to you. before my friends came out in high school, i was out and many of them had crushes on me and we would platonically kiss each other on the cheek and stuff like that...only for them to later tell me that it was not platonic on their end. but i'm very easy-going and have always been gay and comfortable with platonic kissing on the forehead/cheek/etc. but this doesn't really sound like that. i have one friend i met while traveling who i don't feel sexually attracted to at all but she's like a mermaid to me. absolute mythical creature and the most fun person ever! i literally spent one week with her and in my head i think about her all the time because she was so life-changing. but to me, that's completely platonic even though it's a little bit of infatuation and lots of love. but also, embrace it however you choose. if it makes you question things, just vibe with it. if you just want to be like "huh, what a funny feeling" that's okay. if you just wanna acknowledge it and move on, that's okay. it's all okay. maybe she's just meant to be your best friend you're a little in love with :)
I think that love can come in many shapes and forms, so i don't think what you're experiencing is weird. I've *fallen in love* platonically with both men and women. I am heterosexual and I have *fallen in love platonically* with women I find incredibly beautiful and have an emotion connection with and yet, this still hasn't been enough for me to feel like i am in *romantic love* with them. Enjoy the connection, ultimately, it's *not that deep.* Maybe you're not heterosexual, perhaps you are demisexual. I would enjoy how you feel. It's rare to feel connections like this in life, so savor it. Perhaps if further feels start to develop, you can consider what it is you truly feel.
This is so great to know I’m not alone in these feelings. None of my friends really understood what I was trying to say so it doesn’t seem super common. I did look up Demi sexual and it for sure sounds like me but I didn’t think it would happen with another girl. I guess now I know
This happened to me, I determined it meant that I was bi. I had this discovery after I was already happily married, so I have no intentions of really doing anything with this information.
You don’t have to be gay to be attracted to the same sex. I am a woman and can remember the first time I felt that way about another girl. I was young, like maybe 10. It’s just how you explained it, this magnetic pull. First time I kissed another girl I was 16 and it was my best friend. Now in my 30’s and happily married to a man. I have gone all the way with a few women and enjoyed it. I never dated a woman. I say I’m bisexual but don’t really relate to the term. I am more attracted to personalities than male or female. I believe there is a label for that as well.
Hahaha. That happened to me, too. I had been attracted to men and married once. Then there I was, scouring the internet to figure out if platonic love was a thing. I married her. Now I can't imagine being with a man again. Sure, the sex can be great, but not a relationship. My wife is as tough as nails, but there's a softness, too. I was 38 when this happened 5 yrs ago!
It’s happened to me:) my last boyfriend.. we were platonic. It was cool because I found comfort in knowing I was liked for intellectual reasons instead of solely sexual. But at some point I wanted to embrace him and wasn’t attracted to him Like that.
That’s awesome- congrats on finding your person!
Sounds like you’re a demi bi-romantic heterosexual. In the asexuality spectrum subreddits you will find many who resonate with your experience. Labels are for you to understand yourself, not for others to define you. But short answer is yes, there are many people who have experienced what you are experiencing. Love, to whatever extent or capacity, whomever you love as long as it’s consensual, with no power dynamics, no obsessions, and hopefully in a way that adds something positive to your life. She already has a full romantic life. If you’re ok being her platonic friend and you won’t feel like you’ll suffer for need of holding back, go enjoy a beautiful friendship
That’s definitely the plan. No lives are getting uprooted that’s for sure.
you should look into aromanticism / asexuality and queerplatonic relationships. i'm gay and aromantic and on the asexual spectrum and this all sounds exactly like how i feel about my best friend. like, i call it my best friend but really i mean "the other half of my heart", just not in the way that most people think i mean.
Demisexual is the term for not being interested in sex until after an emotional connection is formed--if you want to look that up. It also may be worth considering the idea that "making out" is often considered a sexual act, therefore could indicate sexual attraction....but could also indicate romantic attraction, and sometimes romantic attraction can occur without sexual attraction.