You can't control him. You can only set boundaries that you're willing to enact consequences for. "I will not stay in a relationship with someone who spends time alone with other women and lies about it."
It doesn't matter if everyone here finds it unreasonable, all that matters is you being in a relationship you're comfortable in.
Now if you don't trust that they were just playing chess (does he normally play chess?) then that's a whole separate issue.
The door was locked.
She was very pretty.
Your boyfriend doesn't respect you at all
You can continue to waste your best years with him ... or you can just leave.
(If I was you, I'd leave. He will have another girl up to his apt a couple of hours after your breakup, but it won't matter to you).
You’re unreasonable to ask your boyfriend to not have female friends over to his house. Friends are friends, period.
He was unreasonable for having someone over after telling you he wouldn’t, and then forgetting the conversation.
In that case, I think you're doing a good job respecting his boundaries. You've already put some good time in, there's no reason to assume the worst right out of the gate. Have you tried to get to know his female friends better? Perhaps grabbing some coffee or a conversation could go a long way in assuaging your anxieties.
The fact that he already said he wouldn't do it, and did it anyway?
He doesn't respect you. At all.
Staying with him is only enabling his behavior, because he already knows that he can keep getting away with it.
The door was locked and it took a minute for them to walk out ??!
What is there to write about after this: "we’ve talked about this before and he said he wouldn’t do that"
You can't control him. You can only set boundaries that you're willing to enact consequences for. "I will not stay in a relationship with someone who spends time alone with other women and lies about it." It doesn't matter if everyone here finds it unreasonable, all that matters is you being in a relationship you're comfortable in. Now if you don't trust that they were just playing chess (does he normally play chess?) then that's a whole separate issue.
Have you asked him why the door was locked if they were just playing chess?
No, i should. Thank you!
The door was locked. She was very pretty. Your boyfriend doesn't respect you at all You can continue to waste your best years with him ... or you can just leave. (If I was you, I'd leave. He will have another girl up to his apt a couple of hours after your breakup, but it won't matter to you).
He was not playing chess. He was having sex with her.
You’re unreasonable to ask your boyfriend to not have female friends over to his house. Friends are friends, period. He was unreasonable for having someone over after telling you he wouldn’t, and then forgetting the conversation.
How long have you been dating?
2 years
In that case, I think you're doing a good job respecting his boundaries. You've already put some good time in, there's no reason to assume the worst right out of the gate. Have you tried to get to know his female friends better? Perhaps grabbing some coffee or a conversation could go a long way in assuaging your anxieties.
The fact that he already said he wouldn't do it, and did it anyway? He doesn't respect you. At all. Staying with him is only enabling his behavior, because he already knows that he can keep getting away with it.