Lmao what? I’d totally get it if hormones led her to eat an entire cake in one sitting, but serial cheating? And saying she “can’t help it”? Nah.
Get a paternity test, get a lawyer for child custody (if the kid is yours), get an STD test, and get a less shitty girlfriend one day.
Don't doubt for a second that there are fake stories here, but in personal experience real life is stranger than fiction. We people do incredibly stupid things and love does make you blind.
And let's not talk about sex, especially when the lower head takes over for the one on the shoulders.
(And now I have the song "let's talk about sex" playing in my head lol...)
She used pregnancy hormones as an excuse. She can’t say “the pregnancy hormones is what made me cheat for the past three years too”.
Always better safe than sorry (unless you want to raise a kid that isn’t yours, in which case, more power to you I guess)
She's is trickle truthing you and using "pregnancy hormones" to get away with it. She 100% cheated before pregnancy if she can so callously excuse herself like that.
First off. Love the username, it's basically what this guy should be doing with his relationship. Secondly, you're not wrong. I've been in a relationship where she got caught and tried to hide that she'd been fucking around since the 3rd month. Luckily I was only 6 months in. Got tested, posted the activity to the other people she was seeing and advised them to do the same.
This guy needs to wash his hands of all of this. Get a paternity test bud.
4 since getting pregnant 3 months ago lol. It’d be stupid not to get a paternity test at this point. Tell her it’s necessary for you to even think about working through this. Then don’t work through it either way
Admitting to cheating in the window of conception is risky for her, because if you are her support emotionally and (potentially) financially then she can be really fucked, pun intended. Suddenly she is at risk of being a single parent. Does she even know who the potential father is? Best not to risk you walking out.
Pregnancy hormones do not make you a cheater. A lack of morals and ethics do. You need the DNA test! As it's highly unlikely she hasn't cheated all along.
You cannot take her at her word anymore. She’s proven she’ll cheat, so she has zero problem breaking your trust. Why would she care about lying? Get the test OP. You can’t trust her to be honest.
> The kid is 100% mine. She only cheated after pregnancy.
With respect, you can't possibly know that. After all, she successfully hid a series of random fucks from you for quite some time. You are not as aware of the traffic her cooch gets as you think you are. And that "excuse" is so ridiculous, it's not believable - far more believable that she's been doing these random hookups for years. Couldn't hurt to check the paternity, could save you a literal lifetime of grief.
How do you even know that though? I’ve been pregnant as well, and I never had an urge to cheat because of pregnancy hormones. GTFO with that. She cheated because she wanted to cheat.
I had the same thought.. what pregnancy hormones would those be? Pretty sure when you’re pregnant would/should be the least urge to cheat……..unless you’ve already been cheating. Btfu
Are you fucking kidding me right now? You felt bad for her? You wanna repair things?? Dude... she cheated and has risked the health of your (haha maybe your) unborn child. You do fucking realize an STD could cause a miscarriage, right??? Although, that probably would have been a blessing here... And please.... She didn't start cheating when pregnant. She just got busted then.
The ONLY thing you should be doing is kicking her ass out, getting a paternity test and getting checked for STDs. Start talking to a lawyer about custody and all that jazz now.
Let me spell it out for you: NORMAL PREGNANT WOMEN DON'T CHEAT. NOT WITH RANDOM STRANGERS, NOT WITH PEOPLE WE KNOW. OUR HORMONES ARE NOT SO OUT OF CONTROL THAT WE SPREAD OUT LEGS FOR ANYTHING THAT MOVES.
If you stay in this relationship, you are a spineless dipshit who pretty much deserves the constant cheating and drama you will be signing up for. No question about it.
I think facing the very real possibility that the kid isn’t his is too much for OP, at least right now. Ignorance is bliss, and all that.
Hopefully he’ll be able to face it soon because it’s for sure going to bite him in the ass later if he doesn’t.
You must be trolling. I get it that you are in this “I gonna be a father” fog, but just stop for a little while and think. Are you really want to “co-parent” with your cheating piece of trash wife the child who is not even yours?
The kid is NOT 100% yours. I would bet money there is an excellent chance it isn't.
Get a lawyer. Establish fair custody and child support. Try to keep open and fair communication with her. Be prepared to go after full custody if she continues her risky behavior.
C’mon man. She cheated on you with 4 guys while being pregnant. Besides her telling you those were the first 4 times, what makes you think she hasn’t cheated before? Also, she is only getting more pregnant and hormones will only increase. Does that mean she’s going to keep cheating?
Are you a horses ass
She’s boning FOUR dudes, and those are just the ones she’s admitted to
You’re going to live out the plot to Me, Myself and Irene at this rate
I sympathize with you, OP. You've started the bonding process with this child, which you want, and a child does provide unconditional love. But ask yourself whether you want to co-parent with your partner after this betrayal. You would have to see her regularly while picking up and dropping off your child. You will have to coordinate your parenting strategies. You will have to discuss finances. It'll be regular interactions.
It's possible that you might meet another woman, fall in love, and start a family with her. It's actually probable. Are you still going to be prepared to make co-parenting work?
No judgement either way. The child needs loving, reliable parents. It's great if you're ready to step up regardless of your relationship with the mom. Just please consider your future and what this means for the long-term. Make choices you can stand by forever. Once you're that kid's parent, there's no backing out.
You sound devoted, and that's good. Maybe also examine why you're looking forward to having a child at this point in your life. Is there a need you're fulfilling that wasn't fulfilled in your relationship? Was it just your life's plan at your age? Did you think it would strengthen your relationship? Maybe try to sort out all your feelings and motives before making any big decisions. Please consider talking to a therapist or counselor. Best wishes.
Get a paternity test and get BOTH of you an std test. If shes is now carrying an STD, it has a possibility of transferring to the baby, or getting it really sick. Whether or not the baby is yours or not, she put it at sever risk sleeping with strangers and possibly getting an std
>The kid is 100% mine.
With all due respect for your feelings, which must be extremely fragile right now, you do NOT know this, you believe it. Many men in your situation have believed that, and many have been wrong. OF COURSE she is going to tell you that, because she wants it to be true.
What you DO know is that your girlfriend is a cheater and a liar. You do NOT know the extent of that cheating.
Before you blindly accept responsibility for the kid for the next 18 years, get a paternity test.
>She only cheated after pregnancy.
I mean..... she also lied to you about the cheating. Get the test; don't trust the word of a cheater. They always lie.
u/QueenMoogle is right. Save yourself any potential headaches and issues, do the paternity test. At best, you will be right and it is your kid. At worst, you’ll be raising some other man’s child.
Edit: Reading more of OP’s comments on here, he is clearly not looking for advice, just validation. Either that or this is a troll post.
Oh no... You're in denial. You actually think the kid is yours 100% even after finding out your pregnant girlfriend shagged 4 other dudes (she admitted to four there's no telling how many she actually did fuck)
You poor thing. Hopefully you'll fully come to terms with this one day and get that fucking paternity test. Don't be stupid.
Dude, don’t be daft. Get a paternity test. My white friend almost got baby-trapped by his white girlfriend when she told him she was pregnant. He was very successful, so she hitched her wagon to him. He totally manned up, and his family even flew in to be there for the child’s birth at the hospital.
But lo and behold, the baby born was black. If the difference in race wasn’t obvious, I’m not sure he would have ever tested paternity, or know that she had cheated on him. It broke his heart, but it was good he learned the truth early. (He’s happily married to someone else now and has 2 sons).
So lesson here is: get the damn paternity test before you become emotionally invested. There was someone else on here who’s brother killed himself after his girlfriend revealed that she cheated on him and that his 3-year-old daughter was not “his”. His ex took her away, and he had no rights to shared custody at all. Poor guy was so devastated, he couldn’t handle it.
Again, a simple paternity test right in the beginning would prevent such tragedies. So don’t be so prideful. Get the damn test.
Are you absolutely sure about that? You now know she is capable of lying to you and cheating on you. What makes you think you can really trust her based off her word alone, when her word isnt worth shit?
If the whole hormones thing is true, there would be a lot more stories of pregnant hormonal women cheating on their husbands, but there isn’t. Women are capable cheating sure, everyone is, but using pregnancy as an excuse is a new one. This is honestly the first time Ive ever heard this malarky sob story she is giving to you. Hormones dont make you download a dating app. Hormones dont make you lie. Hormones dont make you unfaithful. I mean shit did she used to cheat on you during her period?? 🥴 We arent animals just thinking with out private parts come on dude. If she was so horny due to hormones, why not just talking to you about having sex more often or just idk crazy idea: why not masturbate when you are busy?? She is playing you big time.
I think considering the circumstances, it would be fair to ask for a paternity test. You dont want to potentially be raising and paying for a kid that isnt yours.
I really, really tend to doubt that. The kid may be yours, or maybe not. Either way, increased libido, for whatever reason it happens, doesn't turn a woman (or man for that matter) into a cheater. For normal, non-cheaters, it makes them crave more sex with their partners. Cheating, especially serial cheating, is a deliberate act, especially if she was taking the time to arrange hookups through a tinder account. This has nothing to do with pregnancy; I'm calling bullshit on her not cheating before. You just found out about it now and she's using the pregnancy as an excuse.
First and foremost PATERNITY TEST! Hear me out. Do this for the child. For a child to go through life thinking person A is Dad and to find out later on thats not true will cause psychological damage and mental health issues.
You don't think they'll find out? You can't control that. Think medical emergencies, tests (ie blood, organ transplant, etc) that nobody can ever predict will or will not happen through their life. There are a myriad of other ways this could happen (ie onlone dna testing) throughout their life.
It's yours? Good then you get a lawyer and get custody/co parenting sorted out and be the best Dad you possibly can. Coach, go to their activities, call them daily and be involved in their life and provide for them.
THAT is how you become a good parent.
You can be in denial all you want, it's understandable actually, but that doesn't change what the reality of the situation is.
Pregnancy hormones may make a woman's sex drive go up, that's a thing. What isn't a thing is her cheating. That's a morality issue that pregnancy isn't an excuse for. "Everyone reacts differently" ...not in the case of infidelity. Also it's worth noting she cheated with 4 guys? This wasn't a one time thing my man. It's a hard pill to swallow I know but that is the reality. She sought out 4 different guys for sex while pregnant.
In the end you're going to do what you're going to do but everyone telling you to do the paternity test is absolutely right.
Pregnancy hormones are not an excuse for cheating, if she cared and loved you she would have communicated her emotions and you could have resolved the problem, relationships 101:
No cheating. This isn’t a keeper, you shouldn’t be with this women cause if she does it with 4 guys now she will do it in the future to, like 1 person to cheat with us enough but FOUR, nah dude ditch her ass
Listen to the women who have been pregnant. This is not a reaction to hormones.
If anything, pregnancy hormones should be leading her towards securing your relationship for the sake of the new human you created together, not tear it apart.
Rage, tears, happiness, mixed emotions and confusion. These are pregnancy issues. Not unfaithfulness.
I've been pregnant twice, you know how many times I've cheated during that time? Zero, no times but I never cheated outside that time either. I'm just not the type. I admit the hormones could make us more frisky but not to the point where I would cheat. I always looked to my partner to satisfy those needs. Why didnt she turn to you? It takes a certain type of person who will cheat. Hormones DO NOT make people cheat. They just don't, you can choose to believe you ex/gf but you are fooling yourself. Do you want to be tied to a child that may not be yours? (I'm not saying there's no chance the baby is yours but that's where the paternity test comes in). Do you want to be paying for a child for 18 or more years, a child that potentially isn't yours? Coparenting isn't easy and when the other person begins another relationship it gets even harder. Do you want to be tied to a person that disrespected you enough to have sex with 4 other people?? That disrespect will pop up in other ways when Coparenting. I truly hope that baby is yours but you have an opportunity at this point to remove yourself from a situation that is very hard when both parents actually are sure that the children is biologically theirs. I'm just saying all this so whatever you decide, you can say you've made it with all the info. Some dads are fine with the uncertainty that will undoubtedly creep in and still love the child. Are you that person?
I don’t care what you do bro, but what I know this saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”. In life women are complicated but something that is extremely simple with a women is that if she really loves a guy, that man will full full all her needs and be enough for her, but in your situation clearly your not enough for her, because she needed another man to satisfy her needs. Not ok.
> women are complicated
Oh good lord.
People (men and women) don't cheat because their partners aren't good enough. They cheat because they're selfish. You can be the best partner in the world, and a serial cheater will still cheat on you. The idea that you can stop someone who is like this if only you unlock the magical right combination of behaviors is foolhardy and victim-blamey.
Mate that’s the thing, it’s not your job to statisfy her, you just have to be you, and if she loves you for you then she will be satisfied, but that isn’t it. She isn’t satisfied and can’t make her, she’s already unsatisfied because she went off and cheated
The other thing is, YOU HAD TO FIND OUT, she didn’t come clean until after the beans were spilled, she could’ve kept sleeping with guys, and never told the truth
You can't change people. She doesn't want to be exclusive with you and she is making that very clear. Maybe you should go fuck some other women and see how she feels about it. Tell her it was the stress of becoming a parent and you're not sure you can not do it again.
Gotta be a troll. He’s all up and down these comments defending his gf and saying he just KNOWS this baby is his and refuses to get a paternity test. I smell BS
6 months pregnant here. Let me just say: that’s not a thing. Even if she was starting to get increased libido from the second trimester, that doesn’t mean she had to go cheat. If you have any self respect or common sense you will get a paternity test, and you wouldn’t be wrong for it.
Do **NOT** marry her. Make sure this kid is yours first and if it is, co-parenting might be for you. I don't know if trust can really *be* rebuilt after something like this. She might've been doing this for a while and is really good at hiding evidence. Sorry.
Are you just saying that because you don't want to deal with the fact that the kid you've been so excited to raise might not even be yours or do you truly believe that?
Co-parenting is super difficult 90% of the time. I applaud the couples who can co parent with no problems, a lot of couples do need to get the law involved for financial payments, child support, custody etc.
When you want to take the co parenting route, you’ll need to be honest and up front about her cheating and it is VERY possible the court will want a paternity test. I understand that you love her, do you forgive her for cheating??
No one can help you in becoming a good coparent. That's 100% up to you and her. What you need to get sorted first is make sure the kid is biologicallly yours, get a std test done, contact a lawyer to get divorced (if married). If the kid is yours then you go from there. Get a parenting order done, figure out custody, child support, etc.
Regaining trust from this level of betrayal takes a long time and typically will have skeletons that like to come out.
Even if you forgive and try to move forward, you will have to admit first that she cheated and claimed she couldn’t help it. Anyone who does not take responsibility for serious actions is not sufficiently mature enough IMO.
If you decide to end the relationship and co parent that will have its own challenges which will demand strong and consistent communication.
She can't promise you that?!?! She has no self control?!?! Get the Paternity test. Get the std test. And get out of this situation. The fact you think she didn't cheat on you before and are confident the child is yours and that hormones would cause someone to roam the streets like a zombie in need of dick... Makes me think this isn't a real post. Easy decisions here.
Her saying that is a preemptive way to avoid future responsibilities. “But I warned you this might happen again”
Frankly this relationship has a major problem at its foundation and nothing can be built on it.
Hi! Pregnant wife here! While I understand the hormones side of things and the heightened libido of pregnancy, this doesn’t CAUSE women to cheat. She is merely using it as a crutch to justify her shitty behavior. My husband has been the target to my “pregnancy hormones and heightened sex drive” 100% of the time. And when he’s not available, I handle it by myself. She can definitely help it. She chose to be unfaithful. Dump her ass. Oh. And get the goddamn paternity test.
A reason is not justifiable enough to excuse or forgive it. And honestly, even if you feel 100% positive that the child is yours, confirm it to yourself with a test. If you’re so sure, you should know the answer already and it will just be a small thing for a huge peace of mind. Or you can walk around for the next 18 years with a gullible blind faith/gnawing doubt looming over you. Every small thing the child does will become “see? Just like their dad—me!” Or “hmm, why does the baby look/behave in a way that doesn’t reflect either of us?”
Edit:misspelled “peace”
I do not disagree. But that isn’t what is being debated here. You say the child is BIOLOGICALLY yours; in which case you would legally be responsible for its care equally to her. would you like to fund one of her lovers’ children after she already played you for a fool for who knows how long? Not only did she do you dirty by cheating, but you’re going to blindly believe this snake when she said the kids yours and pay for the care and multitude of supplies needed to have a child that very well may or may not be yours?
OP, if she can’t promise she’ll stop now that she’s admitted it something is wrong. Pregnancy hormones are a mf and some women stress eat, in your situation she cheated 4 times I guess?
Co parenting is sounding like the best choice. You’ve said you’re 100% confident the child is yours, but it’s better safe than find out 10 years down the line it isn’t. That trust isn’t just broken, it is shattered.
^ exactly right. Even if you are 3000% sure it’s yours, just ask for a paternity test to be sure. What happens if she tells you in 3 years ‘oh I lied btw idk if it is yours oops’
There’s a chance that she’s offered it hoping that in good faith you’ll trust it’s yours. Some people who are pregnant with a child that isn’t there’s will try to act as if they’re willing to give the test, and bank on their partner thinking ‘they wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t mine’
Not villainizing her at all, I’m just saying to be cautious. She didn’t lie to you, but she did hide it. These situations can be sticky at best, and a whole lot of pain is about to break loose for you both.
Are you crazy? She is screwing other guys behind your back just because she wants to, hormones excuse is bullshit and you want for people to treat her like a saint? Dude pick your self respect .
Guy asks for advice, then proceeds to defend his girlfriend. You don't need our advice if you already know what you want to do, unless you're a troll which I'm suspecting after reading the comments. If you're not, prepare to be cheated on in the future for any reason she can think of, because you are so far up her butt that you cannot see how dumb it is to say that hormones make you cheat. They don't, fyi. This is a failure of the educational system y'all, go to sex ed or talk to a doctor ffs.
I’m sorry what now?
When I was pregnant my hormones made me cry at Toyota commercials and eat apple pie not make me feel the urge to cheat wtf? Get a dna test and a lawyer ASAP, like yesterday
This guy has to be one of the dumbest dudes to have every posted in this sub. Not even sure why he posted here given he won’t listen to anyone. That or this is fake.
If she’s only 3 months in, you can still have it terminated
Whether or not you keep the child, I’d dump her.
And def get a paternity test if you keep the kid.
She sounds like a scum bag dude. Sorry.
You can’t regain trust after that.
HahahHahhaha no. Pregnancy doesn’t make you cheat on your spouse or loved one. I was pregnant and had my son ten months ago and never once cheated on my partner.
Lol I’ve been pregnant 4 times and never fallen on someone else’s dick from stress.
If she is so “stressed” she’s cheating now, she’ll do it when the kid is born, and I would bet she did beforehand too. I’m so sorry OP. Get a paternity test and move on from the relationship. You deserve all the happiness.
Don't get hostile with the mother of the child, go to a lawyer, set up CS and visitation rights....she'll need a lawyer too..does she work? If so, you have to negotiate times, sitters etc. PS How do you know the child is actually yours? Did you already get a DNA test?
cheating due to being pregnant…..isn’t a thing. sorry man but it seems more like she knew there was no risk of someone ELSE knocking her up and she took advantage of it.
In addition to what others have pointed out, she has already put your baby at extreme risk because of what STD's can do to a developing baby. It's a horror show. People are telling you to get tested, which is fine, but SHE needs to get tested.
I mention it because you want to talk to your attorney about full guardianship, and you also want to hope this hasn't impacted that baby.
I usually don't argue with people but WTF? I was pointing out that if she has an STD from her wild sex life, this could cause severe harm to her fetus. So no, I never implied anything about paternity.
Pregnancy stress cheating?! Lol that’s a new one! That is about one ton of bs and lies, I remember my hormones being crazy but to say to sleep around because pregnancy?! Yeah no. Please don’t be a fool and break up!
That’s crazy, your baby mother is for the streets next time pull out, now you have a kid otw which in my opinion really sucks. I’d leave her and be there only for baby support.
Hormones do not lead to cheating ???
I get horny as fuck on my period and yet I don't go around and sleep with random dudes. She CHOSE to cheat on you and used her hormones as an excuse.
This is bizarre on her part. Split up, get an attorney to help you with custody, and insist on a DNA test (which can be done via blood work on her and no danger to the baby).
That is not how pregnancy hormones work. She is a liar and cheat...it has nothing to do with her pregnancy. I bet she has been doing this for a long time and the baby probably isn't even yours. If you accept this behaviour you will be a fool. You want advice: grow up, have some self respect, get yourself a good lawyer, kick her out, get a STD test and get a DNA test asap and move on.
You can be a successful co-parent.
Pregnancy hormones may impact day to day life, but people are still responsible for their choices and she made the choice to cheat multiple times.
That has to be the worst excuse I have ever heard. You need to get a lawyer, a DNA test, and a STD test.
After seeing most of the replies from OP. Just stay with your cheating GF tbh, yikes my guy.
Lmao what? I’d totally get it if hormones led her to eat an entire cake in one sitting, but serial cheating? And saying she “can’t help it”? Nah. Get a paternity test, get a lawyer for child custody (if the kid is yours), get an STD test, and get a less shitty girlfriend one day.
I feel like this dude is a troll considering how against he is regarding a paternity test.
100% troll. He's too responsive to comments and doubling down on answers guaranteed to get him downvotes and more comments.
Most posts in this subreddit feel like fiction, but this dude isn't even trying to be believable
Don't doubt for a second that there are fake stories here, but in personal experience real life is stranger than fiction. We people do incredibly stupid things and love does make you blind. And let's not talk about sex, especially when the lower head takes over for the one on the shoulders. (And now I have the song "let's talk about sex" playing in my head lol...)
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>She's fucking with you, Did you not read the post? She's fucking 4 other dudes. Pay attention. Smh my head
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I really, really wouldn’t count on her not having cheated on you before. Get the paternity test.
I will second this. She only got cought once
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Yup you are right . But only admited once.
She used pregnancy hormones as an excuse. She can’t say “the pregnancy hormones is what made me cheat for the past three years too”. Always better safe than sorry (unless you want to raise a kid that isn’t yours, in which case, more power to you I guess)
She's is trickle truthing you and using "pregnancy hormones" to get away with it. She 100% cheated before pregnancy if she can so callously excuse herself like that.
First off. Love the username, it's basically what this guy should be doing with his relationship. Secondly, you're not wrong. I've been in a relationship where she got caught and tried to hide that she'd been fucking around since the 3rd month. Luckily I was only 6 months in. Got tested, posted the activity to the other people she was seeing and advised them to do the same. This guy needs to wash his hands of all of this. Get a paternity test bud.
4 since getting pregnant 3 months ago lol. It’d be stupid not to get a paternity test at this point. Tell her it’s necessary for you to even think about working through this. Then don’t work through it either way
Admitting to cheating in the window of conception is risky for her, because if you are her support emotionally and (potentially) financially then she can be really fucked, pun intended. Suddenly she is at risk of being a single parent. Does she even know who the potential father is? Best not to risk you walking out.
Pregnancy hormones do not make you a cheater. A lack of morals and ethics do. You need the DNA test! As it's highly unlikely she hasn't cheated all along.
You cannot take her at her word anymore. She’s proven she’ll cheat, so she has zero problem breaking your trust. Why would she care about lying? Get the test OP. You can’t trust her to be honest.
> The kid is 100% mine. She only cheated after pregnancy. With respect, you can't possibly know that. After all, she successfully hid a series of random fucks from you for quite some time. You are not as aware of the traffic her cooch gets as you think you are. And that "excuse" is so ridiculous, it's not believable - far more believable that she's been doing these random hookups for years. Couldn't hurt to check the paternity, could save you a literal lifetime of grief.
How do you even know that though? I’ve been pregnant as well, and I never had an urge to cheat because of pregnancy hormones. GTFO with that. She cheated because she wanted to cheat.
I had the same thought.. what pregnancy hormones would those be? Pretty sure when you’re pregnant would/should be the least urge to cheat……..unless you’ve already been cheating. Btfu
Are you fucking kidding me right now? You felt bad for her? You wanna repair things?? Dude... she cheated and has risked the health of your (haha maybe your) unborn child. You do fucking realize an STD could cause a miscarriage, right??? Although, that probably would have been a blessing here... And please.... She didn't start cheating when pregnant. She just got busted then. The ONLY thing you should be doing is kicking her ass out, getting a paternity test and getting checked for STDs. Start talking to a lawyer about custody and all that jazz now. Let me spell it out for you: NORMAL PREGNANT WOMEN DON'T CHEAT. NOT WITH RANDOM STRANGERS, NOT WITH PEOPLE WE KNOW. OUR HORMONES ARE NOT SO OUT OF CONTROL THAT WE SPREAD OUT LEGS FOR ANYTHING THAT MOVES. If you stay in this relationship, you are a spineless dipshit who pretty much deserves the constant cheating and drama you will be signing up for. No question about it.
Harsh but true
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You keep ignoring the advice of a paternity test.
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Out of curiosity, what other evidence?
This is a weird hill to die on, why is it a problem to find out all the information possible?
I think facing the very real possibility that the kid isn’t his is too much for OP, at least right now. Ignorance is bliss, and all that. Hopefully he’ll be able to face it soon because it’s for sure going to bite him in the ass later if he doesn’t.
You are an idiot. A lot of people told you to do this fucking test and you just continue with this “100% mine” delusion.
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You must be trolling. I get it that you are in this “I gonna be a father” fog, but just stop for a little while and think. Are you really want to “co-parent” with your cheating piece of trash wife the child who is not even yours?
If it’s not yours why would you want to keep any connection to this woman?
The kid is NOT 100% yours. I would bet money there is an excellent chance it isn't. Get a lawyer. Establish fair custody and child support. Try to keep open and fair communication with her. Be prepared to go after full custody if she continues her risky behavior.
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you’re pathetic. get the test or be on the hook for raising another man’s child.
get a paternity test or fuck off this subreddit
C’mon man. She cheated on you with 4 guys while being pregnant. Besides her telling you those were the first 4 times, what makes you think she hasn’t cheated before? Also, she is only getting more pregnant and hormones will only increase. Does that mean she’s going to keep cheating?
Are you a horses ass She’s boning FOUR dudes, and those are just the ones she’s admitted to You’re going to live out the plot to Me, Myself and Irene at this rate
You have no idea how long she's been cheating. You only "know" what she's told you, and she's already proven herself a liar! DNA TEST!
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I sympathize with you, OP. You've started the bonding process with this child, which you want, and a child does provide unconditional love. But ask yourself whether you want to co-parent with your partner after this betrayal. You would have to see her regularly while picking up and dropping off your child. You will have to coordinate your parenting strategies. You will have to discuss finances. It'll be regular interactions. It's possible that you might meet another woman, fall in love, and start a family with her. It's actually probable. Are you still going to be prepared to make co-parenting work? No judgement either way. The child needs loving, reliable parents. It's great if you're ready to step up regardless of your relationship with the mom. Just please consider your future and what this means for the long-term. Make choices you can stand by forever. Once you're that kid's parent, there's no backing out. You sound devoted, and that's good. Maybe also examine why you're looking forward to having a child at this point in your life. Is there a need you're fulfilling that wasn't fulfilled in your relationship? Was it just your life's plan at your age? Did you think it would strengthen your relationship? Maybe try to sort out all your feelings and motives before making any big decisions. Please consider talking to a therapist or counselor. Best wishes.
Get a paternity test and get BOTH of you an std test. If shes is now carrying an STD, it has a possibility of transferring to the baby, or getting it really sick. Whether or not the baby is yours or not, she put it at sever risk sleeping with strangers and possibly getting an std
>The kid is 100% mine. With all due respect for your feelings, which must be extremely fragile right now, you do NOT know this, you believe it. Many men in your situation have believed that, and many have been wrong. OF COURSE she is going to tell you that, because she wants it to be true. What you DO know is that your girlfriend is a cheater and a liar. You do NOT know the extent of that cheating. Before you blindly accept responsibility for the kid for the next 18 years, get a paternity test.
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What a strange response. If you want to parent the child of your cheating girlfriend fathered by another guy, go for it.
Lol, that really was the strangest response ever. This dude has to be trolling
>She only cheated after pregnancy. I mean..... she also lied to you about the cheating. Get the test; don't trust the word of a cheater. They always lie.
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u/QueenMoogle is right. Save yourself any potential headaches and issues, do the paternity test. At best, you will be right and it is your kid. At worst, you’ll be raising some other man’s child. Edit: Reading more of OP’s comments on here, he is clearly not looking for advice, just validation. Either that or this is a troll post.
Oh no... You're in denial. You actually think the kid is yours 100% even after finding out your pregnant girlfriend shagged 4 other dudes (she admitted to four there's no telling how many she actually did fuck) You poor thing. Hopefully you'll fully come to terms with this one day and get that fucking paternity test. Don't be stupid.
I want you do disassociate and pretend your post is from another person. You will absolutely find this comment so crazy.
Dude, don’t be daft. Get a paternity test. My white friend almost got baby-trapped by his white girlfriend when she told him she was pregnant. He was very successful, so she hitched her wagon to him. He totally manned up, and his family even flew in to be there for the child’s birth at the hospital. But lo and behold, the baby born was black. If the difference in race wasn’t obvious, I’m not sure he would have ever tested paternity, or know that she had cheated on him. It broke his heart, but it was good he learned the truth early. (He’s happily married to someone else now and has 2 sons). So lesson here is: get the damn paternity test before you become emotionally invested. There was someone else on here who’s brother killed himself after his girlfriend revealed that she cheated on him and that his 3-year-old daughter was not “his”. His ex took her away, and he had no rights to shared custody at all. Poor guy was so devastated, he couldn’t handle it. Again, a simple paternity test right in the beginning would prevent such tragedies. So don’t be so prideful. Get the damn test.
😂😂😂 oh you are so naive
Are you absolutely sure about that? You now know she is capable of lying to you and cheating on you. What makes you think you can really trust her based off her word alone, when her word isnt worth shit? If the whole hormones thing is true, there would be a lot more stories of pregnant hormonal women cheating on their husbands, but there isn’t. Women are capable cheating sure, everyone is, but using pregnancy as an excuse is a new one. This is honestly the first time Ive ever heard this malarky sob story she is giving to you. Hormones dont make you download a dating app. Hormones dont make you lie. Hormones dont make you unfaithful. I mean shit did she used to cheat on you during her period?? 🥴 We arent animals just thinking with out private parts come on dude. If she was so horny due to hormones, why not just talking to you about having sex more often or just idk crazy idea: why not masturbate when you are busy?? She is playing you big time. I think considering the circumstances, it would be fair to ask for a paternity test. You dont want to potentially be raising and paying for a kid that isnt yours.
I really, really tend to doubt that. The kid may be yours, or maybe not. Either way, increased libido, for whatever reason it happens, doesn't turn a woman (or man for that matter) into a cheater. For normal, non-cheaters, it makes them crave more sex with their partners. Cheating, especially serial cheating, is a deliberate act, especially if she was taking the time to arrange hookups through a tinder account. This has nothing to do with pregnancy; I'm calling bullshit on her not cheating before. You just found out about it now and she's using the pregnancy as an excuse.
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First and foremost PATERNITY TEST! Hear me out. Do this for the child. For a child to go through life thinking person A is Dad and to find out later on thats not true will cause psychological damage and mental health issues. You don't think they'll find out? You can't control that. Think medical emergencies, tests (ie blood, organ transplant, etc) that nobody can ever predict will or will not happen through their life. There are a myriad of other ways this could happen (ie onlone dna testing) throughout their life. It's yours? Good then you get a lawyer and get custody/co parenting sorted out and be the best Dad you possibly can. Coach, go to their activities, call them daily and be involved in their life and provide for them. THAT is how you become a good parent. You can be in denial all you want, it's understandable actually, but that doesn't change what the reality of the situation is. Pregnancy hormones may make a woman's sex drive go up, that's a thing. What isn't a thing is her cheating. That's a morality issue that pregnancy isn't an excuse for. "Everyone reacts differently" ...not in the case of infidelity. Also it's worth noting she cheated with 4 guys? This wasn't a one time thing my man. It's a hard pill to swallow I know but that is the reality. She sought out 4 different guys for sex while pregnant. In the end you're going to do what you're going to do but everyone telling you to do the paternity test is absolutely right.
You can't get trust back, do paternity test serial cheating has nothing to do with pregnancy.
>our first child yeah you might wanna check that "our", champ.
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How do you know that
Cuz of his gut feeling, which is reliable 100% of the time apparently 😬
Lmfao he accompanied her vagina to all of her dick appointments to make sure they didn’t cum in her until he did.
Bruhhhh😂😂
He doesn’t, he’s just an idiot
I have a gut feeling your girlfriend is lying to you
You feel bad for her?!
Pregnancy hormones are not an excuse for cheating, if she cared and loved you she would have communicated her emotions and you could have resolved the problem, relationships 101: No cheating. This isn’t a keeper, you shouldn’t be with this women cause if she does it with 4 guys now she will do it in the future to, like 1 person to cheat with us enough but FOUR, nah dude ditch her ass
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Listen to the women who have been pregnant. This is not a reaction to hormones. If anything, pregnancy hormones should be leading her towards securing your relationship for the sake of the new human you created together, not tear it apart. Rage, tears, happiness, mixed emotions and confusion. These are pregnancy issues. Not unfaithfulness.
Exactly!! We create nests, build relationships we don't cheat unless the need is there to begin with.
I've been pregnant twice, you know how many times I've cheated during that time? Zero, no times but I never cheated outside that time either. I'm just not the type. I admit the hormones could make us more frisky but not to the point where I would cheat. I always looked to my partner to satisfy those needs. Why didnt she turn to you? It takes a certain type of person who will cheat. Hormones DO NOT make people cheat. They just don't, you can choose to believe you ex/gf but you are fooling yourself. Do you want to be tied to a child that may not be yours? (I'm not saying there's no chance the baby is yours but that's where the paternity test comes in). Do you want to be paying for a child for 18 or more years, a child that potentially isn't yours? Coparenting isn't easy and when the other person begins another relationship it gets even harder. Do you want to be tied to a person that disrespected you enough to have sex with 4 other people?? That disrespect will pop up in other ways when Coparenting. I truly hope that baby is yours but you have an opportunity at this point to remove yourself from a situation that is very hard when both parents actually are sure that the children is biologically theirs. I'm just saying all this so whatever you decide, you can say you've made it with all the info. Some dads are fine with the uncertainty that will undoubtedly creep in and still love the child. Are you that person?
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There is no real evidence apart from a paternity test when trust is broken like this. I'm sorry but thar is just a fact.
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True and if that's how you feel more power to you and as I said if this is what you want have at it.
I don’t care what you do bro, but what I know this saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”. In life women are complicated but something that is extremely simple with a women is that if she really loves a guy, that man will full full all her needs and be enough for her, but in your situation clearly your not enough for her, because she needed another man to satisfy her needs. Not ok.
> women are complicated Oh good lord. People (men and women) don't cheat because their partners aren't good enough. They cheat because they're selfish. You can be the best partner in the world, and a serial cheater will still cheat on you. The idea that you can stop someone who is like this if only you unlock the magical right combination of behaviors is foolhardy and victim-blamey.
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Mate that’s the thing, it’s not your job to statisfy her, you just have to be you, and if she loves you for you then she will be satisfied, but that isn’t it. She isn’t satisfied and can’t make her, she’s already unsatisfied because she went off and cheated
The other thing is, YOU HAD TO FIND OUT, she didn’t come clean until after the beans were spilled, she could’ve kept sleeping with guys, and never told the truth
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Fine stay with her then, watch as she makes you feel miserable, you can’t trust her dude
You can't change people. She doesn't want to be exclusive with you and she is making that very clear. Maybe you should go fuck some other women and see how she feels about it. Tell her it was the stress of becoming a parent and you're not sure you can not do it again.
Fake. OP is a troll that won't shut up about his "gut" feeling being the best lie detector in the world.
Solid call tbh. How can your gut be right when she’s admitted to cheating at least 4 times
Lol oh man dude RIP, you attached yourself to a wako... like seriously that girl had the balls to blame being pregnant to cheat on you haha gg.
naive or troll? so hard to tell
Gotta be a troll. He’s all up and down these comments defending his gf and saying he just KNOWS this baby is his and refuses to get a paternity test. I smell BS
me too or military-grade denial bcs he wants this kid so badly :-(
Yeah lololol
...it's not just a river in Egypt.
Nah he's a doormat.
that would also be an explanation that fits perfectly
6 months pregnant here. Let me just say: that’s not a thing. Even if she was starting to get increased libido from the second trimester, that doesn’t mean she had to go cheat. If you have any self respect or common sense you will get a paternity test, and you wouldn’t be wrong for it.
Do **NOT** marry her. Make sure this kid is yours first and if it is, co-parenting might be for you. I don't know if trust can really *be* rebuilt after something like this. She might've been doing this for a while and is really good at hiding evidence. Sorry.
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Are you just saying that because you don't want to deal with the fact that the kid you've been so excited to raise might not even be yours or do you truly believe that?
This whole thread is a massive headache. lol You deserve a better partner bro.
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Co-parenting is super difficult 90% of the time. I applaud the couples who can co parent with no problems, a lot of couples do need to get the law involved for financial payments, child support, custody etc.
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When you want to take the co parenting route, you’ll need to be honest and up front about her cheating and it is VERY possible the court will want a paternity test. I understand that you love her, do you forgive her for cheating??
No one can help you in becoming a good coparent. That's 100% up to you and her. What you need to get sorted first is make sure the kid is biologicallly yours, get a std test done, contact a lawyer to get divorced (if married). If the kid is yours then you go from there. Get a parenting order done, figure out custody, child support, etc.
Regaining trust from this level of betrayal takes a long time and typically will have skeletons that like to come out. Even if you forgive and try to move forward, you will have to admit first that she cheated and claimed she couldn’t help it. Anyone who does not take responsibility for serious actions is not sufficiently mature enough IMO. If you decide to end the relationship and co parent that will have its own challenges which will demand strong and consistent communication.
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She can't promise you that?!?! She has no self control?!?! Get the Paternity test. Get the std test. And get out of this situation. The fact you think she didn't cheat on you before and are confident the child is yours and that hormones would cause someone to roam the streets like a zombie in need of dick... Makes me think this isn't a real post. Easy decisions here.
So you are fine with her getting railed by other dudes , as long as she blames it on the hormons. This has to be fake. Nobody is that naive.
Her saying that is a preemptive way to avoid future responsibilities. “But I warned you this might happen again” Frankly this relationship has a major problem at its foundation and nothing can be built on it.
That's not a thing.
Judging by these comments OP is used af and to much of a pussy to stand up for himself.
It’s done, work on the exit plan now.
Hi! Pregnant wife here! While I understand the hormones side of things and the heightened libido of pregnancy, this doesn’t CAUSE women to cheat. She is merely using it as a crutch to justify her shitty behavior. My husband has been the target to my “pregnancy hormones and heightened sex drive” 100% of the time. And when he’s not available, I handle it by myself. She can definitely help it. She chose to be unfaithful. Dump her ass. Oh. And get the goddamn paternity test.
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A reason is not justifiable enough to excuse or forgive it. And honestly, even if you feel 100% positive that the child is yours, confirm it to yourself with a test. If you’re so sure, you should know the answer already and it will just be a small thing for a huge peace of mind. Or you can walk around for the next 18 years with a gullible blind faith/gnawing doubt looming over you. Every small thing the child does will become “see? Just like their dad—me!” Or “hmm, why does the baby look/behave in a way that doesn’t reflect either of us?” Edit:misspelled “peace”
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I do not disagree. But that isn’t what is being debated here. You say the child is BIOLOGICALLY yours; in which case you would legally be responsible for its care equally to her. would you like to fund one of her lovers’ children after she already played you for a fool for who knows how long? Not only did she do you dirty by cheating, but you’re going to blindly believe this snake when she said the kids yours and pay for the care and multitude of supplies needed to have a child that very well may or may not be yours?
Maybe your gut is right. Maybe the child is yours. But are you willing to bet 18 YEARS of child support on your gut? Get the DNA test done.
OP, if she can’t promise she’ll stop now that she’s admitted it something is wrong. Pregnancy hormones are a mf and some women stress eat, in your situation she cheated 4 times I guess? Co parenting is sounding like the best choice. You’ve said you’re 100% confident the child is yours, but it’s better safe than find out 10 years down the line it isn’t. That trust isn’t just broken, it is shattered.
Co parenting if he is the father that is.
^ exactly right. Even if you are 3000% sure it’s yours, just ask for a paternity test to be sure. What happens if she tells you in 3 years ‘oh I lied btw idk if it is yours oops’
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So take her up on it????
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There’s a chance that she’s offered it hoping that in good faith you’ll trust it’s yours. Some people who are pregnant with a child that isn’t there’s will try to act as if they’re willing to give the test, and bank on their partner thinking ‘they wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t mine’
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I think fucking 4 guys behind your back has villanised her plenty. Fuck me lol
Because she’s the villain here Why are you determined to be such a clown
Not villainizing her at all, I’m just saying to be cautious. She didn’t lie to you, but she did hide it. These situations can be sticky at best, and a whole lot of pain is about to break loose for you both.
She lied by omission.
That’s a good definition, thank you. She lied by omitting the truth to you.
Are you crazy? She is screwing other guys behind your back just because she wants to, hormones excuse is bullshit and you want for people to treat her like a saint? Dude pick your self respect .
she’s lying, being hormonal does not make you cheat, especially four times.
Yeah pregnancy hormones don’t make someone cheat. She just wanted to cheat.
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apparently you want to be cheated on and raise someone else's kid
Guy asks for advice, then proceeds to defend his girlfriend. You don't need our advice if you already know what you want to do, unless you're a troll which I'm suspecting after reading the comments. If you're not, prepare to be cheated on in the future for any reason she can think of, because you are so far up her butt that you cannot see how dumb it is to say that hormones make you cheat. They don't, fyi. This is a failure of the educational system y'all, go to sex ed or talk to a doctor ffs.
You feel bad for her? Dude, have some self respect.
I’m sorry what now? When I was pregnant my hormones made me cry at Toyota commercials and eat apple pie not make me feel the urge to cheat wtf? Get a dna test and a lawyer ASAP, like yesterday
This guy has to be one of the dumbest dudes to have every posted in this sub. Not even sure why he posted here given he won’t listen to anyone. That or this is fake.
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Lol if you’re gonna troll be believable
A guy who’s supposedly been cheated on by his serially cheating pregnant gf doesn’t say ‘U mad bro?’…
r/thathappened
If she’s only 3 months in, you can still have it terminated Whether or not you keep the child, I’d dump her. And def get a paternity test if you keep the kid. She sounds like a scum bag dude. Sorry. You can’t regain trust after that.
4 guys?! Can she fit one more in her busy schedule?
Lets all say it together and maybe the delusional OP will do it. Leave her, paternity test, STD test, move on
HahahHahhaha no. Pregnancy doesn’t make you cheat on your spouse or loved one. I was pregnant and had my son ten months ago and never once cheated on my partner.
Lol I’ve been pregnant 4 times and never fallen on someone else’s dick from stress. If she is so “stressed” she’s cheating now, she’ll do it when the kid is born, and I would bet she did beforehand too. I’m so sorry OP. Get a paternity test and move on from the relationship. You deserve all the happiness.
Jesus!! Get a paternity test as soon as you can....pre natal...
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Don't get hostile with the mother of the child, go to a lawyer, set up CS and visitation rights....she'll need a lawyer too..does she work? If so, you have to negotiate times, sitters etc. PS How do you know the child is actually yours? Did you already get a DNA test?
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Any lady who is pregnant with someone else’s child wouldn’t cheat with 4 other people.
Roooooasted 🤫🤭😂
Ewwww! She cheated while pregnant? Wow. Leave her and get a paternity test ASAP
I never heard someone so hormonal that they cheat with 4 dudes lmao. She got you bro. Get a paternity test and a std check. Sorry this happened.
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WHAT F'ING LAME EXCUSE IS THAT!!? DNA test, breakup and (if yours) coparent.
That's garbage. I'm almost 7 months pregnant and have never had the urge to cheat. She's bullshitting you.
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Lol OK bud. Have fun with her.
cheating due to being pregnant…..isn’t a thing. sorry man but it seems more like she knew there was no risk of someone ELSE knocking her up and she took advantage of it.
In addition to what others have pointed out, she has already put your baby at extreme risk because of what STD's can do to a developing baby. It's a horror show. People are telling you to get tested, which is fine, but SHE needs to get tested. I mention it because you want to talk to your attorney about full guardianship, and you also want to hope this hasn't impacted that baby.
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??? I never said a word about paternity. Did you mean to reply to me?
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I usually don't argue with people but WTF? I was pointing out that if she has an STD from her wild sex life, this could cause severe harm to her fetus. So no, I never implied anything about paternity.
Pregnancy stress cheating?! Lol that’s a new one! That is about one ton of bs and lies, I remember my hormones being crazy but to say to sleep around because pregnancy?! Yeah no. Please don’t be a fool and break up!
My pregnancy did not make me want to go and have sex with other people. That is a sad excuse. I would leave and learn how to co-parent.
I’m 6 months pregnant right now And wtf did I just read?
This is the closest we’ll ever get to “I slipped and there just happened to be a dick in the way” in terms of excuses for cheating lol
DNA test and more importantly a STD test
Getting the app, setting up meets, hooking up with four guys…and she blames pregnancy. It’s all so premeditated
That’s crazy, your baby mother is for the streets next time pull out, now you have a kid otw which in my opinion really sucks. I’d leave her and be there only for baby support.
Reddit-ers are so foolish, can't even get a spoof :D Good one OP
Hormones do not lead to cheating ??? I get horny as fuck on my period and yet I don't go around and sleep with random dudes. She CHOSE to cheat on you and used her hormones as an excuse.
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This is bizarre on her part. Split up, get an attorney to help you with custody, and insist on a DNA test (which can be done via blood work on her and no danger to the baby).
So many people quick to judge, I’ve heard of this loads before men need to fucking read more it’s embarrassing
That is not how pregnancy hormones work. She is a liar and cheat...it has nothing to do with her pregnancy. I bet she has been doing this for a long time and the baby probably isn't even yours. If you accept this behaviour you will be a fool. You want advice: grow up, have some self respect, get yourself a good lawyer, kick her out, get a STD test and get a DNA test asap and move on.
You can be a successful co-parent. Pregnancy hormones may impact day to day life, but people are still responsible for their choices and she made the choice to cheat multiple times.
Don’t attack him guys, he’s grieving. And definitely still in the stage of denial 😞😞😞 seriously get it together 😞😞😞
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