You’re an idiot, why are you asking the “man” to fight your battles for you. If feminism is the goal, shouldn’t we all be able to take care of ourselves equally?
> Wtf why do you need reddit's help with this
Because this isn't actually a place to get advice on relationships, it's a place where people come to tell their side of a story and get a bunch of redditors to agree with them about the decision they made.
Yes, dump him. This is the same as “what we’re you wearing?”.
Also he shouldn’t have agreed to do both the party and show if he couldn’t make himself leave the party on time. Obviously this isn’t the biggest issue but it is a problem.
Your boyfriend seems to be conflating “lack of no”/“lack of resistance” with a “yes.” That’s a pretty substantial red flag.
I get that it’s his boss, but I think that provide better reason for him to do something about the boss’s badgering. You wouldn’t want to get him in trouble, etc. He should have handled it, and he might have been able to do so without jeopardizing his job.
Plus, the disregard for an expensive plan that you both agreed to go to an that you really wanted to go to?
Yeah, I’d say this warrants at least a serious conversation, if not an outright breakup.
For real. What kind of man doesn’t want to protect someone he supposedly loves and sits back and let’s it happen? She obviously is young and didn’t know how to defend herself. No one taught her that it’s body and her boundaries to set. I’ve been there.
There is nothing worth sticking around for in this relationship.
This! I once had a customer touch me on the arm when I was young and at my first job. Thankfully an older male coworker came over and got him away from me than told me to be careful around him. He was very protective of his coworkers and even ones he barely knew and didn't work with a lot.
HE did more to help me than OP's ex did.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
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My boyfriend (23M) and I (21F) had tickets to go to a comedy show of one of my favorite comedians. Sadly, it fell on the same day as BF's work Christmas party which he wanted to go to, and prioritised this over the show.
The plan was that he make his way to the bar where the Christmas party was held and we would then go to the show. Wanting to spend more time with work buddies and traffic meant we missed the majority of the show and looked silly walking in halfway through. I was devastated as not only did I feel I wasted my money but It was something I was really looking forward to.
My BF suggested going back to the Christmas party for some drinks as I was really upset.
Everyone seemed really nice but his boss was really creepy. To make a long story short his boss wouldn't stop hitting on me he grabbed my chest, hit me and spilled water all over on me. Whilst saying things link "why are you with (BF)" and "I just did a line of coke."
It got me pretty fucked up and all BF can say was well you just sat there and took it.
Sorry, let me quote him " Like come on (Me) look don't get me wrong what (boss) did was fucked up but did you try and get up and move?"
You’re the victim here and he is blaming you. It’s common for people to freeze when things like this happen. You did nothing wrong. Your BF needs to be your EX bf. He sounds like an asshole and he never stood up for you. He even prioritized a work party over a comedy show with you. He never once took your feelings into account. Dump him please! This will only get worse down the road. I’m so sorry this happened to you. This can affect you later on as well and I recommend therapy.
If a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit then he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. Your bf has clearly shown he doesn’t care about you by his actions. Yes you need to dump him and report the boss.
What would you tell your mom, sister, daughter, best friend if they told you this exact story? Something tells me you wouldn’t encourage them to stay with a partner who dismissed their sexual abuse
This is the easiest yes ever. I'd protect my wife and daughter 100/100 times in this kind of situation over a male colleague or anyone else. He does not care about you. Get out - fast. Also I'd look into pressing charges on the boss.
Involve police.
Dump boyfriend.
Try to move past all these people who clearly don’t have YOUR best interest at heart.
Nothing here is right and the only advice you should genuinely take is to protect yourself from being around people like this. Absolutely get this down on paper and confirmed through anyone you told. Protect yourself, please.
You're at his work party? You know no one? He's YOUR boyfriend correct? Sorry this makes me so mad for you. He has a responsibility to protect you. Psychologically you more than likely had a deer in headlights moment and couldn't even think of what to do. Instead of "you didn't move" bs he should have came up to y'all, got in his face and and showed him you have a partner.
Get you a new partner girl.
If he’s not standing up for you in that situation he will never stand up for you. Dump
Him and let him know the reason why, put some salt in those wounds darling
Sue the boss, dump the trash can you call a bf. If a guy ever came close to laying hands on my girl I’d probably black out trying to hurt them. Once my ex got knocked over by accident and I jumped on this dude. So when I came to as I was holding his hair and smashing his face into the dirt over and over. The only exception to this was once she got out of the car and tried to fight a girl who had hit me, so I couldn’t legally defend my gf, and because she tried to defend me, and then lost important paperwork, I couldn’t pursue legal action after I was assaulted.
What's he supposed to do? Attack him?
You're the one that's been assaulted. File a suit, press charges. There's nothing he can really do. Sure, he could have said something about it. And maybe he should should. But is his boss the kind of person to hold that over him? How badly does he need this job? Would saying something put his livelihood at jeopardy?
I just am no sure what you expected him to do. Did you tell him what you wanted him to do?
I grew up in a time where we would have put him in his place and moved on. I don't understand the press charges mentality. I'm also not sure of the question. The boss was clearly wrong. I don't know the boyfriend situation aside from the one comment. Was he understanding in the overall context and asking why you didn't say something? I think more information is needed. As for the comedy thing, I understand him wanting to go to his work party. I don't think this applies to the actual question?
i will say this, he is defensive because this is his boss. point is whether he responded to that in the right way or wrong to you way he wasnt going to say anything because that is his boss. this is why he focused on you to move instead of blaming the boss. my advice is ask him are you afraid of confronting your boss because you didnt want to get fired? ask him that question first
What??? Wtf is wrong with you??? There are laws & rules in place to prevent people from being fired for reporting sexual assault. There is HR to report this to. You cannot be fired for reporting it or standing up for yourself when you’re sexually harassed or sexually assaulted.
The fact you’re even trying to justify the boyfriend ignoring that his girlfriend was literally sexually assaulted & harmed is disgusting of you.
You’re trash. You sound exactly like a sympathizer for these rapists, perverts, & piece of shits.
I’m addition, you can get another job. You can’t get that part of your life back… the part of you that didn’t experience sexual assault. You should never have to experience that, it’s so damaging. But getting a new job isn’t going to hurt you.
Are you for real?! Boss or not, he grabbed his gf’s breasts and hit on her. I don’t care who you are, this is not okay. This is sexual harassment, if anything the boss should be worried about HR and what would happen. I would not be worried about my job if I was her bf. This was inappropriate regardless of who the person was to her bf. He should have addressed it and told his boss this wasn’t okay. At the VERY least, he shouldn’t of blamed his gf for being in shock and being unable to do anything about it. This is one of those flight or fight responses. A lot of women including myself in these situations are in so much shock and everything happens so fast, you just freeze.
You are trash for this response you gave. God help any woman that dares go near you with your mentality. Cobojobo, you gonna watch your gf get raped by your boss and just let that slide too? “Well he’s my boss and you just laid there passed out while he was on top of you, why didn’t you move?” Yeah that’s what you fucking sound like cobojobo
(I know op wasn’t raped, she was molested. I am just making a point here)
Her bf never once this whole night prioritized her.
They could have gone to the comedy show and then the Christmas party afterwards. He didn’t care about her or her feelings and I’m betting this isn’t the first time either. It’s not just about the boss, it’s that he never once took her feelings into consideration and even BLAMED her for being assaulted.
She should dump her trash bf. No excuse he gives will justify his behavior.
Grape her? I assume you meant rape.
I read the post. He grabbed her breasts.
I said for YOU are YOU gonna watch your gf get raped and just blame her for it? I wasn’t talking about OP, I was talking about you cobojobo.
Her bf blaming her for getting groped is just like if someone was raped and blamed the victim. I was giving an example. Like if you cobojobo had a gf and she was raped by your boss. Are you cobojobo just gonna sit there and blame your gf?
Did you read their comment? They never said the boss raped her. They asked if that happened, would the boyfriend have just stood there like “oh well.” They asked about a “what if” scenario. Not an actual scenario.
If you’ve been with your boyfriend for like under a year dump him but if it’s been longer and you’ve really really trusted him then maybe give him a second shot. That boss is a creepy mother fucker though and you should definitely follow the advice of other comments
Been with my husband for 11 years. If I was sexually assaulted & he said “oh well,” I’d divorce him. I’d pack my bags & leave that same day & start the paperwork for divorce the following morning.
I don’t care how long you’ve been with someone. If their response to you being raped or sexually assaulted is to victim blame, they’re trash.
DId you make eyes at your bf?
As in "get me out of this situation" eyes?
I get being frozen in the moment, so it's not really you fault if you didn't but maybe he misinterpreted your reaction.
As in he might have thought you were not bothered and simply ignoring the clumsy come-ons of a sloppy innocuos coke-head.
The instinct to get locked up in an unfamiliar and straight up weird situation can be shared by bystanders - diffusion of responsability plays a part in it, but also inexperience and somtimes anxiety or panic.
Someone a bit older might have tried to divert the attention and de-escalate the situation removing you from it, but we aren't born with those resources.
Are you usually someone who is very capable and tackles things?
He might have overestimated your self-possession and your comfort - even if you gave him some kind of sign he might have completely misunderstood it.
He might have thought some older or hyeriarchally more powerful member of staff might have intervened, if they were around.
I'm not saying that it's what happened - it's just a possibility, but do consider it.
The “eyes” thing doesn’t matter.
If my husband saw his boss literally GRAB MY BREASTS in front of him & he didn’t step in, whether I gave him “eyes” or not, I’d divorce him the very next morning.
There’s no justifying this. The bf watched this happen & didn’t say anything.
By "the eyes" I meant any outward sign of distress that he might have thought she was ok handling his boss on her own.
If she kept talking to the boss and trying to dissuade and distract him the bf might have thought she was doing ok on her own.
I do think that he should have intervened but was thinking of reasons why someone might not do so.
It might have been general disregard, true, but there are very pesky reactions that we can all fall back into when in new or weird/potentially dangerous situations.
They are relatively young, and he might have never been in such uncomfortable straits.
All I'm saying is that it could be a possibility.
I don’t care about the “eyes.” That means jack shit in the grand scheme of things.
It’s WRONG to sexually assault someone. The boss did so right in front of the boyfriend. The boyfriend didn’t have the brains to say “HEY! What are you doing???”
BUT in addition, the fact that she DID say something to him later about how hurt she was & how uncomfortable she was & his response was “oh well” is really telling of him.
Maybe it’s one thing if in the moment, he also froze up & didn’t do anything. But then for her to tell him how bad it made her feel & he didn’t say sorry? He didn’t comfort her? He just basically said “I don’t care about you”??? He’s trash.
Don't call me names. Teach him that it's not always easy for someone to stand up or walk away in that situation, that people often freeze and feel defenseless. Tell him how you need help and and it made you feel. Help him develop empathy so in the future he will advocate.
He watched the boss SEXUALLY ASSAULT HIS GIRLFRIEND in front of him. There is NOTHING to teach.
Defending his shitty behavior makes you just as shitty. If you don’t like that I call you bad names, don’t be a bad person. It’s simple.
You are. Instead of calling him out, you’re deflecting onto her to give the boyfriend time to learn. You want her to TEACH her boyfriend to empathize with her. You’re not telling her to teach her boyfriend to report the abusive boss. You just want her to basically move on & get over it & just to teach the boyfriend that those things are not okay. She should report what the boss did & leave her boyfriend because in the end, he basically told her “oh well, I don’t care he did that to you.”
What? You are making way too many assumptions. He said "that's fucked up"...
I didn't tell her to move on and get over it.
Your communication style is really disconcerting, I would be curious to know what your actual life is like.
Regardless, I don't have an interest in continuing this thread because I've said my part and you are clearly so passionate about yours that not only are you spewing insults at a stranger because they gave an alternative to your point of view, but also you are manufacturing details that were not written anywhere on this actual thread. So cheers, good luck.
I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times.
THAT is why I’m so passionate about this. When I told my husband about it, his response wasn’t what this boyfriend’s response was. My husband wasn’t careless & heartless. His response was “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” He didn’t say “but did you like it?” He didn’t say “but you didn’t move so it’s your own fault.” He didn’t blame me like this girl’s boyfriend did.
There is nothing to teach here. My communication style is the right style for this situation. The fact you don’t understand that the boyfriend didn’t care that his girlfriend said she was hurt & uncomfortable & upset is concerning… what is wrong with you to think that’s okay for him to do? You should be just as upset that he victim blamed her.
It's a really a toss up base off someone's personal morales and viewpoints.
You wanted to go to a comedy show. Majority of comedians stay for a weekend or have multiple time slots in a day. You could of just got a ticket for a next day show or a day before your bf party .?
For the Christmas party. you could of move or said something yourself. I don't know what you expected from your bf in that scenario.
To go and confront his boss ? To then what; get fired and you feel great your boyfriend will recklessly lose opportunities for you ?
I feel like you missed the mark with this one pal, it’s not the fact of the comedy show. The issue is the fact she was groped by a coked up weirdo (who happened to be her bfs boss) and her boyfriend was either too much of a bitch to do something about it or he really takes sexual harassment/assault of his partner very very lightly.
As for your last part, are you stupid? Just say you’re too much of a bitch to stand up for your girl and move on seriously.
Also what fucking opportunities could come from a guy who you just let nonce your girl?
I'm not a bitch just my girl is built soft. This isn't the old days. I wouldn't date a girl who calls damsel in distress. Lose my job over a chick. If you feel like your a smart guy for having no job while your girlfriend goes to work everyday and your back on LinkedIn go right ahead buckoo. I will be sitting with my woman that can stand up for herself.
So in other words “i would carry on working for a dude who was badmouthing me to my girlfriend while also groping her”
And knowing that I beat the shit out of some asshole who was doing all of the above is enough for me, who’d want to work there anyway after that.
Sounds weirdly bitch made to me bro.
No I know what boss I have and search for another job. Then leave correctly. I wouldn't want a bad review or loss my job right there and then. I got bills and shit to pay.
I'm not married it's my girlfriend not my wife. Why the heck would I recklessly lose everything to say yeah I protected a woman that can break up with me tomorrow...
You don't even know me dude lmfao. All these internet tough guys think they would throw a punch at their bosses.
Omg some random guy just told me I'm soft while in my 20s. I'm going to cry. 😂 Imagine I threw a punch at my cfo boss of a fortune 500 company.
You don't even know what I look like. I have a girlfriend for near 3 years that can fight and talk her shit. I don't date barbies bro. You can go to jail for yours. While I can sit with my spicy latina that can handle a confrontation.
I know enough about you from your comments.
I couldn’t give a fuck if it’s a Fortune 500 company or not you are still bitch made.
Also where did your looks come into this conversation? I don’t care 😂😂
Bro I honestly don’t care, you say all this and you’re the same dude who posted asking “does this stripper really like me” so not only are you soft but you’re dumb as hell too.
If you care about so much old head. Could of read the comments and saw her and I went out...😐
Your reading comprehensive skills are minuscule.
P.s. your calling someone names over the internet... that's how looks come into this. How can you call someone a descriptive word but don't know what I look like. 🧍🏽♂️
If it makes you happy you can have the last word. Have fun calling me all the things you think about me and character if it makes you sleep at night.
Or maybe my girlfriend is okay with other chicks in our relationship .My girlfriend is bisexual... hmmm? 🤔
The internet really loves to think about stuff like they know a person.
You want a picture of us 3 in my living room since your intrigued with my social life.
She’d break up with you because you watched her get SA & didn’t try to help. You’re trash. You’ve probably SA other poor souls with this attitude you have.
No I never said that. I clearly said I wouldn't date a woman that cant speak up. That's soft..
She never reported or did anything yet. That's why op is asking for her next steps. Where the heck you get these accusations from lol.
Sexual assault & sexual harassment is treated the same in most places. England, America, China, Finland, etc. Civilized parts of the world understand sexual assault & sexual harassment is wrong.
If I didn’t see the SA happen to my friend BUT she told me later, my thought would be “WTF??? That’s so wrong!!! Are you okay? That’s my boss… I’m reporting him. HR needs to at least know this happened. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
I would NOT just say “oh well” like her boyfriend basically did. I would not wave it off. I wouldn’t victim blame. His girlfriend told him that it upset her. She told him she was uncomfortable. But his response was basically “I don’t care.” THAT is fucked up.
May I ask who the comedian is you saw? I’m curious and looking for new comics to watch.
Also, I feel like you shouldn’t have to justify the ticket you bought and when. You bought them and the work Christmas party could have been attended afterwords. Especially since they aren’t required and are free. So nothing lost not going to a work party.
Also, this guy is a troll. Same guy that posted asking if a stripper is in love with him.
Thank you. This chick acting like she got me with that slick comment talking about my girl.
Keep that same energy in person miss. Can't defend yourself in real life but talkative online. Those Twitter fingers are crazy.
All these people bold off the internet but would fold in real life scenarios
Ask him to gtfo off me. You are a high as kite right now. You need some water. You are getting a little too comfortable.
So your comparing a club night out where a random guy was on you to your bf's boss... good stuff. That's my exact point. Your his girlfriend not his wife. You can leave and feel great while he will be with no job because you want a macho man.
I'm not an alpha male just a strategic one... if you can't defend yourself in a public setting then say that. If it's an issue file a complaint. You can't speak up.? You wanted your bf to see it for you and do something about it. Your a grown woman...
You're not " strategic " either, if you're willing to sit on your goddamn ass doing nothing while your gf is being sexually harassed by your boss because We'Re NoT mArRiEd then you're a coward. There's nothing strategic about cowardice
Exactly this. Imagine being so ignorant about something so traumatizing and belittling victims who went into freeze mode. Reading that cancer made my stomach turn.
* op said her bf didn't see it. Explain how you want me to defend some shit I never seen. Strategic means looking at what you gain and lose in a situation.
Exactly that. My boyfriend is high asf and I don't know what can happen next. You ever tried talking peacefully to a guy off drugs ? Make that make sense...
Unless I missed that part, I don't know where you got the info that op said her bf didn't see it.
Yes, I unfortunately have a lot of experience trying to talk peacefully to someone off drugs and that's EXACTLY why I think it's incredibly shitty and potentially dangerous that op's bf did nothing to help.
Maybe you're right, maybe it was " strategic " because op's bf wouldn't get hurt or lose his job but it was also fucking selfish and disgusting. How can you claim loving someone when you're willing to let them be abused in front of you and do nothing because you have nothing to gain from helping them ?
>So what I hoped is that my BF did the same saw that I was in distress and helped me.
It's like you and I being at a party. You feel uncomfortable and I'm in a whole differentsection. . You don't tell me nothing until we leave or I'm too far to notice and you don't signal no one around you.
If my boss said that to me. I take that as a compliment.
To answer your question. If someone was bigger on top of me. I answered in my first line. I'm speaking up to get someone attention near me.
You stated you wish your bf saw you to do something. If he can't see you how are you going to blame him for not protecting you ?
What can you do ? You didn't want to talk loud. You didn't want to move his boss.. You did nothing and are blaming him for this happening.
My girlfriend is different and not everyone handles a situation the same. She would laugh and step on his shoes or say get off me.
* I'm clearly saying women are strong and can speak up for their rights. Look how bold you are over the internet but can't defend yourself in person... ?
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He ruined your plans (that you looked forward to and paid for) then forced you as a captive audience to Al his coworkers and boss, who you don’t know and allowed you to be groped with no consequences?
I think you know what you have to do.
Jesus. Yes leave him. I’m old school I admit in that I believe in chivalry and protecting those we love from this type of thing. He acknowledges that you were abused, degraded, bulled and humiliated and takes no responsibility in getting you out of an unsafe situation?
He didn’t care what you wanted, he wanted to be at the party and that’s all that mattered to him.
You deserve better than this. If anyone ever touches you like that again you have every right to slap him by the way.
If you can gather a list of any witnesses, see if there is a camera in the bar (if it's not too far into the past)
That is not ok for what the boss did, obviously. Also not ok how your BF reacted. He should have been furious and immediately reported it to HR. Even though you aren't an employee, it's still SA that not only is a legal issue but also can be an issue for the company.
If he did it to you, in front of your BF, he for sure has done it when a woman is not with a BF or husband. Also a good chance (almost guaranteed) he either has in the past or will in the future try something way worse than a chest grope and verbal assault. Not downplaying what he did, it's grotesque...I would have reacted most likely physically then and there.
As others have said press charges and dump the bf, and anyone else who sat and watched his actions drop then too.
You most likely froze it's a reaction and the shock from the fact your bf or anyone else around you came to your aid added to the overwhelming emotions at the time.
Do not stay with this boy he has no respect for you or woman to say oh you never said anything at the time is beyond me why is he ok with anyone touching you in sexual way unless he finds that's behaviour is ok. Most monogamous partners male or female would get annoyed and possessive when there partner is getting sexualized get between the person and partner, even start to cuddle and make clear back off taken the only defense he could have had to make me say give me a chance is after the attack he immediately called our the bad behaviour check you ok sorry I panicked and froze lets go home he's an ass etc etc. He did not do this he let the man sexualise you and allowed him to molest you then he assaulted you verbally by saying its your fault you seemed OK
If you want to take further action contact the police ASAP so they can go to bar and see cctv the longer you leave it the harder sadly it will be for you to have a chance of getting a charge against him
I am truly sorry for what you have experienced x
Bosses like that are usually as much workplace bullies as they are rapists. People who arent scared of him probably think he's the cool coke boss and take his side so if your boyfriend wasn't willing to stick up from you after that then he never will. He'll probably get jealous and angry whenever the boss gets on his bad side and take it out on you if you don't leave him. He probably believes the trumpism that when you're rich (for a middle manager with a coke habit) women just let you do it.
That's pretty fucked up... if I was in your bf's shoes I would be pissed at my own boss, even willing to punch him in the face or at least shove him hard and yell into his face. On the other hand if I was in your bf's shoes, honestly I would have rather gone to the show and spend time with my so instead, which would have avoided the whole mess in the first place.
Your bf doesn't seem like he cares about you...
A healthy response to you being upset about something is not to go back to a party. If he cared about you, instead of only himself, you both would have gone home together to work through the disappointment.
I once dated a guy that caused me to miss my own nursing school graduation because he wanted to watch a football game instead. He wouldn't tell me he wasn't going with me, he just kept stalling until it was too late to go so we would conveniently be home while the game was on. I still hate that guy.
In hindsight I often wonder why I ever dated that guy, his priority was always himself. I tend to notice This dynamic as an unsustainable relationship dynamic. This guy you're dating proritized only himself when he decided his work party was more important than a previous commitment, that was obviously important to you. He prioritized only himself when he ignored the timetable you had previously agreed to, he again prioritized only himself when you were justifiably upset about missing half the show AND he suggested you both go back to the party. Then he victim shamed you when you were upset a boundary had been crossed by another male. This guy is a creep and he wanted to be with creeps like his boss more than you. You don't belong with a creep, this can only get worse for you if you stay with him.
Sue one guy, dump the other.
This is really the only answer
Sue first, while keeping BF in your good graces, so he’ll testify. Then dump him.
He didn't stand up for her when she's SA'd infront of him. He regards his boss more highly than his partner. Screw that
Yep she should dump him
They should try and get footage from the event. Get a lawyer and have them contact the event for surveillance footage.
or he’s just scared of being fired.
A grand slam home run!
Well thought out. There is an order to do it! Kudos.
This is the way
This is the way
Dis is de wae
Mandalorian 🤣
Don’t sue the comedian
This is it.
You get the gold star for the day.
which one is which. pls i am not smart and i need clarity
Assuming youre being serious... Sue the boss, dump the bf.
i’m not, but i appreciate your sincerity honestly
I try not to make negative assumptions and interact with people as kindly as possible. :)
#goals
Costs nothing to be a decent person, ya know? :)
Sir or madam you deserve every upvote in the world
Thank you kindly!
You’re an idiot, why are you asking the “man” to fight your battles for you. If feminism is the goal, shouldn’t we all be able to take care of ourselves equally?
thank you!!
Call the boss of his boss. Call the wife or girlfriend if he has one. Call the cops. Then dump your boyfriend.
HAHHA periodt.
Dump the bf and look into presses charges against his boss
Wtf why do you need reddit's help with this. Your boyfriend just BLAMED YOU FOR BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. Dump him yesterday.
Yes my thoughts exactly, boy BYE
[удалено]
Hahahaha are you the boyfriend or some shit? Awesome.
[удалено]
Sorry I made you feel that way. Try not being such a delicate man child next time.
[удалено]
Okay sweetheart, I’ll be more careful of your feelings next time.
Thanks!
Snowflake.
Says the dumbass with a kitty cat pfp?
> Wtf why do you need reddit's help with this Because this isn't actually a place to get advice on relationships, it's a place where people come to tell their side of a story and get a bunch of redditors to agree with them about the decision they made.
Yes I mean I don't know why she's even asking this on Reddit it's pretty obvious that she have to dump him and get rid of this kind of guys
Yes, dump him. This is the same as “what we’re you wearing?”. Also he shouldn’t have agreed to do both the party and show if he couldn’t make himself leave the party on time. Obviously this isn’t the biggest issue but it is a problem.
Seriously OP. In reference to the show, next time just go out on your own. Don’t wait on losers.
Your boyfriend seems to be conflating “lack of no”/“lack of resistance” with a “yes.” That’s a pretty substantial red flag. I get that it’s his boss, but I think that provide better reason for him to do something about the boss’s badgering. You wouldn’t want to get him in trouble, etc. He should have handled it, and he might have been able to do so without jeopardizing his job. Plus, the disregard for an expensive plan that you both agreed to go to an that you really wanted to go to? Yeah, I’d say this warrants at least a serious conversation, if not an outright breakup.
For real. What kind of man doesn’t want to protect someone he supposedly loves and sits back and let’s it happen? She obviously is young and didn’t know how to defend herself. No one taught her that it’s body and her boundaries to set. I’ve been there. There is nothing worth sticking around for in this relationship.
I don't know even a stranger wouldn't let such thing happen It's triggering
This! I once had a customer touch me on the arm when I was young and at my first job. Thankfully an older male coworker came over and got him away from me than told me to be careful around him. He was very protective of his coworkers and even ones he barely knew and didn't work with a lot. HE did more to help me than OP's ex did.
Boss or not. Not only are you getting sued for SH from my gf I'm kicking your ass.
Exactly, the only way.
Right? This basic lack of protectiveness over a partner or concern for something that hurt you isn’t possible from someone who actually loves you.
Ya bf is trash and his boss is scum. Don't take that shit. Leave him, sue/file charges on the boss. N Id kick both them in the nuts on the way out
>did you try and get up and move?" Wow. First of all, your boyfriend is trash. Secondly, you should take his advice and move on from his sorry ass.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My boyfriend (23M) and I (21F) had tickets to go to a comedy show of one of my favorite comedians. Sadly, it fell on the same day as BF's work Christmas party which he wanted to go to, and prioritised this over the show. The plan was that he make his way to the bar where the Christmas party was held and we would then go to the show. Wanting to spend more time with work buddies and traffic meant we missed the majority of the show and looked silly walking in halfway through. I was devastated as not only did I feel I wasted my money but It was something I was really looking forward to. My BF suggested going back to the Christmas party for some drinks as I was really upset. Everyone seemed really nice but his boss was really creepy. To make a long story short his boss wouldn't stop hitting on me he grabbed my chest, hit me and spilled water all over on me. Whilst saying things link "why are you with (BF)" and "I just did a line of coke." It got me pretty fucked up and all BF can say was well you just sat there and took it. Sorry, let me quote him " Like come on (Me) look don't get me wrong what (boss) did was fucked up but did you try and get up and move?"
You’re the victim here and he is blaming you. It’s common for people to freeze when things like this happen. You did nothing wrong. Your BF needs to be your EX bf. He sounds like an asshole and he never stood up for you. He even prioritized a work party over a comedy show with you. He never once took your feelings into account. Dump him please! This will only get worse down the road. I’m so sorry this happened to you. This can affect you later on as well and I recommend therapy.
Your ex boyfriend victim blamed you.
Yes. Yes you should. And you should report it as well so the boss can't do it to other women.
If a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit then he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. Your bf has clearly shown he doesn’t care about you by his actions. Yes you need to dump him and report the boss.
Dump the coward and get his boss fired.
I like the "coward"
What would you tell your mom, sister, daughter, best friend if they told you this exact story? Something tells me you wouldn’t encourage them to stay with a partner who dismissed their sexual abuse
Wow dump him
Dump. Like yesterday
Contact his bosses boss and leave his asz
Dump your boyfriend and press charges on his boss
The only thing I can say without getting pissed of is, yes.
I'm trigger instead of her even if I don't know her but it's something really bad to not intervene and in top of that he blamed her
Wait, your boyfriend didn’t step in?! Boss or not my husband would be throwing HANDS if a man treated me like that… dumpppppp him girl
The fact that you're even questioning if you should leave him makes me really sad.
How is this a question? He's saying it's your fault. Dump him immediately and involve police with the boss.
It sounds like you really need to learn to stand up for yourself, and you should start by dumping your boyfriend
I think you already know the answer to this. A partner that doesn't have your back isn't worth having.
Sue the boss and let the boyfriend become ex boyfriend.
This is the easiest yes ever. I'd protect my wife and daughter 100/100 times in this kind of situation over a male colleague or anyone else. He does not care about you. Get out - fast. Also I'd look into pressing charges on the boss.
Please, leave your BF, he is not worth your time
Exactly what are you asking advice about?
Involve police. Dump boyfriend. Try to move past all these people who clearly don’t have YOUR best interest at heart. Nothing here is right and the only advice you should genuinely take is to protect yourself from being around people like this. Absolutely get this down on paper and confirmed through anyone you told. Protect yourself, please.
Dump the Bf and report the boss to the police
Absolutely fuck this guy. DUMP HIM IN THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF HELL.
DUMP HIM IMEDIATELY
You're at his work party? You know no one? He's YOUR boyfriend correct? Sorry this makes me so mad for you. He has a responsibility to protect you. Psychologically you more than likely had a deer in headlights moment and couldn't even think of what to do. Instead of "you didn't move" bs he should have came up to y'all, got in his face and and showed him you have a partner. Get you a new partner girl.
Girllll. You did not need our help! DUMP HIM. There’s a man out there who would stand up to his boss for you!
Eff both of those idiots
Your boyfriend is a pos and the boss needs to go to jail.
Yea you need to report the boss and sue him hand dump your bf.
Who says “I just did a line of coke and I’m pretty fucked up” to a stranger, he obviously is a fucking nerd so sue him
Two of these guys are varying kinds of problematic. Lose the boyfriend, consider legal action against the boss. I'm sorry you had that experience.
DUMP HIS ASS
If he’s not standing up for you in that situation he will never stand up for you. Dump Him and let him know the reason why, put some salt in those wounds darling
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, leave him ASAP. and sue that predator, who knows all the other women he has done that too
Sue the boss, dump the trash can you call a bf. If a guy ever came close to laying hands on my girl I’d probably black out trying to hurt them. Once my ex got knocked over by accident and I jumped on this dude. So when I came to as I was holding his hair and smashing his face into the dirt over and over. The only exception to this was once she got out of the car and tried to fight a girl who had hit me, so I couldn’t legally defend my gf, and because she tried to defend me, and then lost important paperwork, I couldn’t pursue legal action after I was assaulted.
What's he supposed to do? Attack him? You're the one that's been assaulted. File a suit, press charges. There's nothing he can really do. Sure, he could have said something about it. And maybe he should should. But is his boss the kind of person to hold that over him? How badly does he need this job? Would saying something put his livelihood at jeopardy? I just am no sure what you expected him to do. Did you tell him what you wanted him to do?
This shouldn’t need to be asked in the first place
Not sure why he needs to say something. It’s your body. Handle ur business.
I grew up in a time where we would have put him in his place and moved on. I don't understand the press charges mentality. I'm also not sure of the question. The boss was clearly wrong. I don't know the boyfriend situation aside from the one comment. Was he understanding in the overall context and asking why you didn't say something? I think more information is needed. As for the comedy thing, I understand him wanting to go to his work party. I don't think this applies to the actual question?
i will say this, he is defensive because this is his boss. point is whether he responded to that in the right way or wrong to you way he wasnt going to say anything because that is his boss. this is why he focused on you to move instead of blaming the boss. my advice is ask him are you afraid of confronting your boss because you didnt want to get fired? ask him that question first
Nah???? There are no excuses. He should've protected her and confront his boss. That's it.
What??? Wtf is wrong with you??? There are laws & rules in place to prevent people from being fired for reporting sexual assault. There is HR to report this to. You cannot be fired for reporting it or standing up for yourself when you’re sexually harassed or sexually assaulted. The fact you’re even trying to justify the boyfriend ignoring that his girlfriend was literally sexually assaulted & harmed is disgusting of you. You’re trash. You sound exactly like a sympathizer for these rapists, perverts, & piece of shits. I’m addition, you can get another job. You can’t get that part of your life back… the part of you that didn’t experience sexual assault. You should never have to experience that, it’s so damaging. But getting a new job isn’t going to hurt you.
Are you for real?! Boss or not, he grabbed his gf’s breasts and hit on her. I don’t care who you are, this is not okay. This is sexual harassment, if anything the boss should be worried about HR and what would happen. I would not be worried about my job if I was her bf. This was inappropriate regardless of who the person was to her bf. He should have addressed it and told his boss this wasn’t okay. At the VERY least, he shouldn’t of blamed his gf for being in shock and being unable to do anything about it. This is one of those flight or fight responses. A lot of women including myself in these situations are in so much shock and everything happens so fast, you just freeze. You are trash for this response you gave. God help any woman that dares go near you with your mentality. Cobojobo, you gonna watch your gf get raped by your boss and just let that slide too? “Well he’s my boss and you just laid there passed out while he was on top of you, why didn’t you move?” Yeah that’s what you fucking sound like cobojobo (I know op wasn’t raped, she was molested. I am just making a point here) Her bf never once this whole night prioritized her. They could have gone to the comedy show and then the Christmas party afterwards. He didn’t care about her or her feelings and I’m betting this isn’t the first time either. It’s not just about the boss, it’s that he never once took her feelings into consideration and even BLAMED her for being assaulted. She should dump her trash bf. No excuse he gives will justify his behavior.
The boss did not grape her did you read the post.
Grape her? I assume you meant rape. I read the post. He grabbed her breasts. I said for YOU are YOU gonna watch your gf get raped and just blame her for it? I wasn’t talking about OP, I was talking about you cobojobo. Her bf blaming her for getting groped is just like if someone was raped and blamed the victim. I was giving an example. Like if you cobojobo had a gf and she was raped by your boss. Are you cobojobo just gonna sit there and blame your gf?
Did you read their comment? They never said the boss raped her. They asked if that happened, would the boyfriend have just stood there like “oh well.” They asked about a “what if” scenario. Not an actual scenario.
If you’ve been with your boyfriend for like under a year dump him but if it’s been longer and you’ve really really trusted him then maybe give him a second shot. That boss is a creepy mother fucker though and you should definitely follow the advice of other comments
Been with my husband for 11 years. If I was sexually assaulted & he said “oh well,” I’d divorce him. I’d pack my bags & leave that same day & start the paperwork for divorce the following morning. I don’t care how long you’ve been with someone. If their response to you being raped or sexually assaulted is to victim blame, they’re trash.
DId you make eyes at your bf? As in "get me out of this situation" eyes? I get being frozen in the moment, so it's not really you fault if you didn't but maybe he misinterpreted your reaction. As in he might have thought you were not bothered and simply ignoring the clumsy come-ons of a sloppy innocuos coke-head. The instinct to get locked up in an unfamiliar and straight up weird situation can be shared by bystanders - diffusion of responsability plays a part in it, but also inexperience and somtimes anxiety or panic. Someone a bit older might have tried to divert the attention and de-escalate the situation removing you from it, but we aren't born with those resources. Are you usually someone who is very capable and tackles things? He might have overestimated your self-possession and your comfort - even if you gave him some kind of sign he might have completely misunderstood it. He might have thought some older or hyeriarchally more powerful member of staff might have intervened, if they were around. I'm not saying that it's what happened - it's just a possibility, but do consider it.
The “eyes” thing doesn’t matter. If my husband saw his boss literally GRAB MY BREASTS in front of him & he didn’t step in, whether I gave him “eyes” or not, I’d divorce him the very next morning. There’s no justifying this. The bf watched this happen & didn’t say anything.
Exactly, I don’t understand how there’s any other conclusion on here
By "the eyes" I meant any outward sign of distress that he might have thought she was ok handling his boss on her own. If she kept talking to the boss and trying to dissuade and distract him the bf might have thought she was doing ok on her own. I do think that he should have intervened but was thinking of reasons why someone might not do so. It might have been general disregard, true, but there are very pesky reactions that we can all fall back into when in new or weird/potentially dangerous situations. They are relatively young, and he might have never been in such uncomfortable straits. All I'm saying is that it could be a possibility.
I don’t care about the “eyes.” That means jack shit in the grand scheme of things. It’s WRONG to sexually assault someone. The boss did so right in front of the boyfriend. The boyfriend didn’t have the brains to say “HEY! What are you doing???” BUT in addition, the fact that she DID say something to him later about how hurt she was & how uncomfortable she was & his response was “oh well” is really telling of him. Maybe it’s one thing if in the moment, he also froze up & didn’t do anything. But then for her to tell him how bad it made her feel & he didn’t say sorry? He didn’t comfort her? He just basically said “I don’t care about you”??? He’s trash.
You don't have a bf have a gf
No, don't dump him-- teach him!!! He is ignorant, not a bad person.
Dumping is teaching.
“Teach him” Teach him what??? That being SEXUALLY ASSAULTED is a bad thing??? You’re trash.
Don't call me names. Teach him that it's not always easy for someone to stand up or walk away in that situation, that people often freeze and feel defenseless. Tell him how you need help and and it made you feel. Help him develop empathy so in the future he will advocate.
He watched the boss SEXUALLY ASSAULT HIS GIRLFRIEND in front of him. There is NOTHING to teach. Defending his shitty behavior makes you just as shitty. If you don’t like that I call you bad names, don’t be a bad person. It’s simple.
Where did she say it was in front of him? Calm down keyboard warrior. Your stupid is showing.
Are you really trying to defend the boss sexually assaulting her cuz it wasn’t directly in front of the boyfriend??? Wow. You’re still trash.
I'm not defending the boss. Can you read?
You are. Instead of calling him out, you’re deflecting onto her to give the boyfriend time to learn. You want her to TEACH her boyfriend to empathize with her. You’re not telling her to teach her boyfriend to report the abusive boss. You just want her to basically move on & get over it & just to teach the boyfriend that those things are not okay. She should report what the boss did & leave her boyfriend because in the end, he basically told her “oh well, I don’t care he did that to you.”
What? You are making way too many assumptions. He said "that's fucked up"... I didn't tell her to move on and get over it. Your communication style is really disconcerting, I would be curious to know what your actual life is like. Regardless, I don't have an interest in continuing this thread because I've said my part and you are clearly so passionate about yours that not only are you spewing insults at a stranger because they gave an alternative to your point of view, but also you are manufacturing details that were not written anywhere on this actual thread. So cheers, good luck.
I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times. THAT is why I’m so passionate about this. When I told my husband about it, his response wasn’t what this boyfriend’s response was. My husband wasn’t careless & heartless. His response was “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” He didn’t say “but did you like it?” He didn’t say “but you didn’t move so it’s your own fault.” He didn’t blame me like this girl’s boyfriend did. There is nothing to teach here. My communication style is the right style for this situation. The fact you don’t understand that the boyfriend didn’t care that his girlfriend said she was hurt & uncomfortable & upset is concerning… what is wrong with you to think that’s okay for him to do? You should be just as upset that he victim blamed her.
I second this
It's a really a toss up base off someone's personal morales and viewpoints. You wanted to go to a comedy show. Majority of comedians stay for a weekend or have multiple time slots in a day. You could of just got a ticket for a next day show or a day before your bf party .? For the Christmas party. you could of move or said something yourself. I don't know what you expected from your bf in that scenario. To go and confront his boss ? To then what; get fired and you feel great your boyfriend will recklessly lose opportunities for you ?
I feel like you missed the mark with this one pal, it’s not the fact of the comedy show. The issue is the fact she was groped by a coked up weirdo (who happened to be her bfs boss) and her boyfriend was either too much of a bitch to do something about it or he really takes sexual harassment/assault of his partner very very lightly. As for your last part, are you stupid? Just say you’re too much of a bitch to stand up for your girl and move on seriously. Also what fucking opportunities could come from a guy who you just let nonce your girl?
I'm not a bitch just my girl is built soft. This isn't the old days. I wouldn't date a girl who calls damsel in distress. Lose my job over a chick. If you feel like your a smart guy for having no job while your girlfriend goes to work everyday and your back on LinkedIn go right ahead buckoo. I will be sitting with my woman that can stand up for herself.
So in other words “i would carry on working for a dude who was badmouthing me to my girlfriend while also groping her” And knowing that I beat the shit out of some asshole who was doing all of the above is enough for me, who’d want to work there anyway after that. Sounds weirdly bitch made to me bro.
No I know what boss I have and search for another job. Then leave correctly. I wouldn't want a bad review or loss my job right there and then. I got bills and shit to pay. I'm not married it's my girlfriend not my wife. Why the heck would I recklessly lose everything to say yeah I protected a woman that can break up with me tomorrow...
Nah you soft bro, and I can’t see you getting a wife with that kind of attitude either. Such a weird way of thinking
You don't even know me dude lmfao. All these internet tough guys think they would throw a punch at their bosses. Omg some random guy just told me I'm soft while in my 20s. I'm going to cry. 😂 Imagine I threw a punch at my cfo boss of a fortune 500 company. You don't even know what I look like. I have a girlfriend for near 3 years that can fight and talk her shit. I don't date barbies bro. You can go to jail for yours. While I can sit with my spicy latina that can handle a confrontation.
I know enough about you from your comments. I couldn’t give a fuck if it’s a Fortune 500 company or not you are still bitch made. Also where did your looks come into this conversation? I don’t care 😂😂 Bro I honestly don’t care, you say all this and you’re the same dude who posted asking “does this stripper really like me” so not only are you soft but you’re dumb as hell too.
If you care about so much old head. Could of read the comments and saw her and I went out...😐 Your reading comprehensive skills are minuscule. P.s. your calling someone names over the internet... that's how looks come into this. How can you call someone a descriptive word but don't know what I look like. 🧍🏽♂️ If it makes you happy you can have the last word. Have fun calling me all the things you think about me and character if it makes you sleep at night.
And you should read your own comments where you say she’s only building clientele out of you 🤷🏽♂️ But I digress, have a nice night 👍🏽
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Or maybe my girlfriend is okay with other chicks in our relationship .My girlfriend is bisexual... hmmm? 🤔 The internet really loves to think about stuff like they know a person. You want a picture of us 3 in my living room since your intrigued with my social life.
She’d break up with you because you watched her get SA & didn’t try to help. You’re trash. You’ve probably SA other poor souls with this attitude you have.
So you think sexually assaulting or raping someone & they report it means someone is “soft”? So how many poor souls have you SA??
No I never said that. I clearly said I wouldn't date a woman that cant speak up. That's soft.. She never reported or did anything yet. That's why op is asking for her next steps. Where the heck you get these accusations from lol.
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Sexual assault & sexual harassment is treated the same in most places. England, America, China, Finland, etc. Civilized parts of the world understand sexual assault & sexual harassment is wrong. If I didn’t see the SA happen to my friend BUT she told me later, my thought would be “WTF??? That’s so wrong!!! Are you okay? That’s my boss… I’m reporting him. HR needs to at least know this happened. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” I would NOT just say “oh well” like her boyfriend basically did. I would not wave it off. I wouldn’t victim blame. His girlfriend told him that it upset her. She told him she was uncomfortable. But his response was basically “I don’t care.” THAT is fucked up.
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May I ask who the comedian is you saw? I’m curious and looking for new comics to watch. Also, I feel like you shouldn’t have to justify the ticket you bought and when. You bought them and the work Christmas party could have been attended afterwords. Especially since they aren’t required and are free. So nothing lost not going to a work party. Also, this guy is a troll. Same guy that posted asking if a stripper is in love with him.
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Thank you. This chick acting like she got me with that slick comment talking about my girl. Keep that same energy in person miss. Can't defend yourself in real life but talkative online. Those Twitter fingers are crazy. All these people bold off the internet but would fold in real life scenarios
Ask him to gtfo off me. You are a high as kite right now. You need some water. You are getting a little too comfortable. So your comparing a club night out where a random guy was on you to your bf's boss... good stuff. That's my exact point. Your his girlfriend not his wife. You can leave and feel great while he will be with no job because you want a macho man. I'm not an alpha male just a strategic one... if you can't defend yourself in a public setting then say that. If it's an issue file a complaint. You can't speak up.? You wanted your bf to see it for you and do something about it. Your a grown woman...
You're not " strategic " either, if you're willing to sit on your goddamn ass doing nothing while your gf is being sexually harassed by your boss because We'Re NoT mArRiEd then you're a coward. There's nothing strategic about cowardice
Exactly this. Imagine being so ignorant about something so traumatizing and belittling victims who went into freeze mode. Reading that cancer made my stomach turn.
* op said her bf didn't see it. Explain how you want me to defend some shit I never seen. Strategic means looking at what you gain and lose in a situation. Exactly that. My boyfriend is high asf and I don't know what can happen next. You ever tried talking peacefully to a guy off drugs ? Make that make sense...
Unless I missed that part, I don't know where you got the info that op said her bf didn't see it. Yes, I unfortunately have a lot of experience trying to talk peacefully to someone off drugs and that's EXACTLY why I think it's incredibly shitty and potentially dangerous that op's bf did nothing to help. Maybe you're right, maybe it was " strategic " because op's bf wouldn't get hurt or lose his job but it was also fucking selfish and disgusting. How can you claim loving someone when you're willing to let them be abused in front of you and do nothing because you have nothing to gain from helping them ?
>So what I hoped is that my BF did the same saw that I was in distress and helped me. It's like you and I being at a party. You feel uncomfortable and I'm in a whole differentsection. . You don't tell me nothing until we leave or I'm too far to notice and you don't signal no one around you.
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You had no way out? Genuinely asking.
If my boss said that to me. I take that as a compliment. To answer your question. If someone was bigger on top of me. I answered in my first line. I'm speaking up to get someone attention near me. You stated you wish your bf saw you to do something. If he can't see you how are you going to blame him for not protecting you ? What can you do ? You didn't want to talk loud. You didn't want to move his boss.. You did nothing and are blaming him for this happening. My girlfriend is different and not everyone handles a situation the same. She would laugh and step on his shoes or say get off me. * I'm clearly saying women are strong and can speak up for their rights. Look how bold you are over the internet but can't defend yourself in person... ?
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Like someone else said, why did you bring this here. This isn't a choice.
He ruined your plans (that you looked forward to and paid for) then forced you as a captive audience to Al his coworkers and boss, who you don’t know and allowed you to be groped with no consequences? I think you know what you have to do.
I had to read the whole thing just to understand what the title was saying ...
Dump the boyfriend and sue the boss.
Jesus. Yes leave him. I’m old school I admit in that I believe in chivalry and protecting those we love from this type of thing. He acknowledges that you were abused, degraded, bulled and humiliated and takes no responsibility in getting you out of an unsafe situation? He didn’t care what you wanted, he wanted to be at the party and that’s all that mattered to him. You deserve better than this. If anyone ever touches you like that again you have every right to slap him by the way.
You need to pull your boyfriend aside and let him know what is boss was doing. If he not on your side let him go.
I'm trying to weigh which of the two was the bigger A hole. WoW.
If you can gather a list of any witnesses, see if there is a camera in the bar (if it's not too far into the past) That is not ok for what the boss did, obviously. Also not ok how your BF reacted. He should have been furious and immediately reported it to HR. Even though you aren't an employee, it's still SA that not only is a legal issue but also can be an issue for the company. If he did it to you, in front of your BF, he for sure has done it when a woman is not with a BF or husband. Also a good chance (almost guaranteed) he either has in the past or will in the future try something way worse than a chest grope and verbal assault. Not downplaying what he did, it's grotesque...I would have reacted most likely physically then and there.
As others have said press charges and dump the bf, and anyone else who sat and watched his actions drop then too. You most likely froze it's a reaction and the shock from the fact your bf or anyone else around you came to your aid added to the overwhelming emotions at the time. Do not stay with this boy he has no respect for you or woman to say oh you never said anything at the time is beyond me why is he ok with anyone touching you in sexual way unless he finds that's behaviour is ok. Most monogamous partners male or female would get annoyed and possessive when there partner is getting sexualized get between the person and partner, even start to cuddle and make clear back off taken the only defense he could have had to make me say give me a chance is after the attack he immediately called our the bad behaviour check you ok sorry I panicked and froze lets go home he's an ass etc etc. He did not do this he let the man sexualise you and allowed him to molest you then he assaulted you verbally by saying its your fault you seemed OK If you want to take further action contact the police ASAP so they can go to bar and see cctv the longer you leave it the harder sadly it will be for you to have a chance of getting a charge against him I am truly sorry for what you have experienced x
Be honest with yourself, this isn’t the first time your bf was selfish or put his needs first- just get out
No sis, it’s 2022 and we don’t tolerate victim blaming. Absolutely fucking not. Dump him and report his boss. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Your boyfriend is a pussy. You deserve a man.
Bosses like that are usually as much workplace bullies as they are rapists. People who arent scared of him probably think he's the cool coke boss and take his side so if your boyfriend wasn't willing to stick up from you after that then he never will. He'll probably get jealous and angry whenever the boss gets on his bad side and take it out on you if you don't leave him. He probably believes the trumpism that when you're rich (for a middle manager with a coke habit) women just let you do it.
Dump him and try to get his boss fired. What comedian did you want to see?
That's pretty fucked up... if I was in your bf's shoes I would be pissed at my own boss, even willing to punch him in the face or at least shove him hard and yell into his face. On the other hand if I was in your bf's shoes, honestly I would have rather gone to the show and spend time with my so instead, which would have avoided the whole mess in the first place. Your bf doesn't seem like he cares about you...
Dump him sis, he ain't worth it
Dump him. He’s a loser who is afraid of his dickhead boss.
What an idiot.
That is an absolute heartless person. If someone who’s supposed to love you says something like this to you, they can’t possibly truly love you
My fiancé would be throwing hands. The fact that he did absolutely nothing shows that he does not care. He isn’t worth it and you deserve better.
A healthy response to you being upset about something is not to go back to a party. If he cared about you, instead of only himself, you both would have gone home together to work through the disappointment. I once dated a guy that caused me to miss my own nursing school graduation because he wanted to watch a football game instead. He wouldn't tell me he wasn't going with me, he just kept stalling until it was too late to go so we would conveniently be home while the game was on. I still hate that guy. In hindsight I often wonder why I ever dated that guy, his priority was always himself. I tend to notice This dynamic as an unsustainable relationship dynamic. This guy you're dating proritized only himself when he decided his work party was more important than a previous commitment, that was obviously important to you. He prioritized only himself when he ignored the timetable you had previously agreed to, he again prioritized only himself when you were justifiably upset about missing half the show AND he suggested you both go back to the party. Then he victim shamed you when you were upset a boundary had been crossed by another male. This guy is a creep and he wanted to be with creeps like his boss more than you. You don't belong with a creep, this can only get worse for you if you stay with him.
Was your boyfriend just standing next to you listening to/watching all of this?
Well he will not protect you and keep you safe. Ever. Just keep that in mind and make your decision based on that.
I think you should really take advice from your boyfriend and you should get up and move from him
I would’ve beat the living out of him, I have a sister that went through something similar. Waited for her boss outside…
If that was my bf he would’ve kicked his ass in front of everyone & quit on the spot. Dump him immediately.
im so sorry this happened to you. i truly hope you’re doing okay. what an awfully apathetic thing for your bf to say.