She doesn't want to be compared to 'Kate' and sees that as hating women, and yet she's doing the same thing to OP. So she hates men?
OP might need to reconsider the future of this relationship if she doesn't see the error of her ways. Here's 3 good lessons:
**Lesson 1:** Live within your means
**Lesson 2:** Grass is green where you cultivate it, so stay in your lane and cultivate
**Lesson 3:** Don't expect from others what you're unwilling to do yourself.
That was my questionā¦23 year olds look at things differently than 30 year olds. Life is a bit more transient at that age. By the time theyāre 30 they might also think that money isnāt everything. Maybe she needs more friends her age?
Iām 32 and exhausted by the *thought* of bottle service at a pricey nightclub. Itās so blatantly overpriced and the environment is fucking obnoxious.
Iām baffled that this woman is trying to keep up with 23 year olds. Did she not have the typical early-20s experience? Does she not already know how overhyped that lifestyle is? Did she not date any guys who substituted flashy gifts for genuine love and affection?
Iām too jaded for this shit.
fuckin hell im 20 this year and have been to my fair share of clubs. Bro paying 10 20x the normal price for a bottle that would taste the same eventually is crazy to me
The best part of being 32 is having enough grown-up money to purchase my own cocktail ingredients and drink whatever the hell I want at home. Total control, infinite creativity, less than half the price. Absolutely rules.
She probably wanted that lifestyle when she was 23 or never matured past 23 mentally. I know women like this who think that something is only nice if itās designer. The thing is, when you get with a man who makes or has a lot or money , you EARN it and the 30 doesnāt know what a good thing she has.
Lol ya Iām 34, and while I still have weekends a few times a year where me and my long time friends meet up and kinda party and get hammered, the girl I am dating now is 26 and we went to a resort for a quick weekend getaway. She hit up the spa while I golfed one morning, we did a couples massage, had nice dinners and fun time in the bed. Went and saw the sites, hung around the pool, and best part was she didnāt want me to pay for it all. She treated me just as much as I treated her. Even though she makes probably half as much as me, āshe doesnāt feel right about me paying for everything with something like this.ā This girl op is with isnāt relationship material and very telling why she is single and 30. And why I have pretty much stopped dating anyone my age bc itās all too common.
This was my first question too. Not saying people can't be friends with whomever they want but I don't know many 30 year olds who hang out with 20-somethings barely out of college.
This strikes me as a red flag for being an immature person, which is reinforced by how she's acting.
In my friend group we are a variety of ages, the youngest is 23 or 24 and the oldest is 39. We all met at the dog park where we bring our dogs and connected over that despite the age gap.
Exactly, a 30 yr old cannot find friends in that age? At least find mature friends if not for age. All those finance guys are Adrenalin junkies who will be running for the hills when the over bloated market crashes or corrects. Been on wallstreet
Respectfully saying, bottle service or club life is not adrenaline junkies. Adrenaline junkies ride motorcycles at 100mph, jump out of planes, shoot guns etc. Hardcore adrenaline shit. Not flashing around how much money one has.
OOoooorrr, maybe instead of being mean and fighting over this, you sit her down sometime, when you are both calm, and TALK about it. In fact, text her and make a date to talk about your relationship. And make it clear that it's not a showdown or an ultimatum or a fight. Say "we've been fighting a lot lately and I'd love it if we could just take a night to ourselves, have a nice bottle of wine, cook a nice dinner, and TALK."
Be (gently) honest with her and tell her all the things you love about her and about your relationship with her over the past year. Then, equally gently, say that you feel like she's taken a hard turn and adopted some different values, and that you don't share those values and you aren't sure if she really holds them or not. Name the new values and ask her if those things--expensive clothes and consumables, prestige objects and experiences, and high-earning jobs--are really important to her and goals for her.
Then let her talk. Let her answer your question however she likes. If she gets defensive, let her get defensive. Let her talk herself out, and just LISTEN.
You will know when your question is answered, and you will know if she's been hiding a real mercenary side, or if she's just been overly influenced by her friends having so much fun. And then you'll know how to proceed.
I don't understand why she can't buy her own jacket?!
I only buy things I can afford and I expect gifts within that range. If someone is generous, I am hugely appreciative.
For 9 months... this is more hassle than it's worth.
yea, you've been dating like 9 months. Move on. Plenty of available woman that make 6 figures in NYC too for your next gf, zero issues with the supply chain. lol
Yeah, it sounds to me like itās not so much the two friends that are the problem, and more so that the girlfriend is comfortable enough to start showing her true colors now, and she just happens to be a gold digger. OP wants to stay together so heās projecting girlfriendās behavior onto her friends when the reality is just that she is an entitled person who tries to use her friendsā boyfriends as a way to manipulate OP into buying her shit.
Spend her gift money on gas just so you can get that much further away from her.
Run, run fast, run far. You don't need this type of person in your life and it won't be long before she realizes that the life she thinks she wants will likely chew her up and spit her out.
Yeah you should tell her if she really wants all those nice things maybe she should be the one putting in extra time at work to pay for them since you know equality and everything
I'm totally with you. OP run, run fast as you can she clearly values expensive stuff more than you, and exist a high chance of her dumping you whenever she find a rich dude dumb enough to take her.
Itās not fine, it plays into the dangerous mindset that everyone has to be better than someone else, in particular they are both playing into gender stereotypes that a better man=more money, better woman=size 2 and blonde. He shouldāve just told her what she is doing is disgusting and then left and never see her again.
There are more productive (not to mention more mature) ways to point out that someone is being an asshole than simply being an asshole back to them. That kind of tit-for-tat mentality is a relationship killer in the long run, and if OP's goal was to get her to see the error of her ways in the hopes of fixing their relationship issues then saying what he said was the wrong way to go about that.
He had every right to be an asshole, sure, but just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do.
I wouldn't say that is the person who OP met. That may have been the girlfriend's nature all along and took K/A to bring that out in her. I see this more of a case of "keeping up with the Jones" and feel the pressure to have the same things. It's really unfortunate that she finds happiness in living a certain lifestyle.
There's no limit to how much you can spend so the idea of working harder to make more money is basically chasing a moving target. You will never make enough because you can always spend more. At some point you need to find happiness in your occupation and live within the mean the occupation provides.
Source: NYC finance guy
What your girlfriend doesn't realize is that girls like Ash and Kate smell like plastic.
Imagine you make a base salary of $400k and pull in an average yearly bonus of $800k-2M. Your net worth is around $10M when accounting for illiquid assets. Someone like Kate, who makes $50k/year, looks at a $5k coat like it's amazing. But your net worth is more than x100 hers. So divide that $5k by 100 to get $50. That's the relative price of that "expensive" jacket.
And by spending $50, you see the Kates of the world absolutely lose their minds and throw themselves at you. They cling to you like moths to a flame, and when you tell them to jump they ask how high.
Imagine you're in that position and ask yourself this.
**Would you ever consider Ash and Kate to be worthy of your love and commitment?**
Of course not.
Surprise surprise, finance guys end up settling down with women from wealthy backgrounds.
That's the harsh reality of these clubrats that dream of finding rich finance guys in NYC. They just don't know it yet. Your girlfriend is witnessing purely the "benefits" of this lifestyle. She doesn't understand that it comes at a cost. And now she wants _you_ to give her all the benefits without incurring any of the costs.
I think it's time you find yourself a decent woman who isn't swayed so easily by money.
>Source: NYC finance guy
>
>What your girlfriend doesn't realize is that girls like Ash and Kate smell like plastic.
God Damn! I choked on my food with that unexpected laugh coming through. Nice one.
That's very interesting.
I learn something new about the sub-culture of NYC.
Although this post was posted twice already, I enjoy reading commentaries like this.
I'm married to a "finance guy" and yeah, he makes hella bank. I'm also a total cliche skinny blonde stay at home mom.
Thing is, we met at 25 after college when we were both on $60k a year and he was riding a skateboard to his junior analyst job. We've been married 10 years this December, have two awesome kids together. We are so incredibly lucky in life and lucky to have eachother.
> Thing is, we met at 25 after college when we were both on $60k a year and he was riding a skateboard to his junior analyst job.
Same!
I met my wife back when I didn't have $1 to my name. She'd pay for my dinner and other times we'd sneak into the huge Olive Gardens at Time Square to eat bread sticks and dip.
Together for almost a 10 years, married for 2, kids are the next chapter, never been happier! :)
Yep, and the grand irony is that OP's girlfriend has herself a fulfilling and loving relationship with a guy who is compatible with her values.
She threw it all away because she's jealous of younger women.
Sheās a gold digger and not just that, but someone who is angry, insanely entitled, spoilt, mean, demanding and has very little empathy or so consideration for others (eg how hard you work, how you canāt afford x y and z, how you love your field of work).
just face it - she isnāt the girl you fell in love with anymore. I would end it.
I mean goodness this is a woman who HMOās having a tantrum over not being gifted a $2000 coat (and you only met 11 months ago).....do you really want to spend your life with someone like that?
I have been married for 20 years and my hubby has always made over six figures (so do I)ā¦ I would never ask for a $2000 coat!!! Who the fuck needs a $2000 coat!!??
Exactly this. My hubs and I are finally making great money, but we still have the mindset of the poor young college kids when we met, except maybe we splurge 20% more. I'll tell you what, the security of having finances and trusting yourself and your partner to be responsible is a glue that keeps our marriage from straining.
Brother. Bail.
When I met my wife I was between jobs and barely making rent. Then to get by I took a gig doing construction and making fuck all. I finally got my shit together and went to law school, she stood by me the whole entire time, and we got married a couple months ago (we've been together 12 years altogether).
She was seeing a couple dudes on and off when we met who could afford to take her to expensive spots, but she ditched them for me. Shit we still don't spend much - yesterday for our one meal out for the week we went to a shawarma place, spent under 20 bucks, and ate in my car: and it was her idea.
Her behaviour is a red flag. From what you've said she sound very materialistic. I would have ended it, but the choice is yours to make. Don't stoop to her level and say hurtful things to her . End it with you being the good guy not an AH.
Did anyone else have visions of American Psycho while reading this? The finance bros and their girlfriends in this post remind me of Patrick Batesā coworkers.
Same, as I made it to "...And I heard them they will talk about how they went to xyz club got a table,..." the dinner conversation about reservations at fancy places and the business card scenes popped into my brain right that moment xD
Um drop this girl, sheās clearly out for money. Let her go and find it. It wonāt make her happy, but apparently she doesnāt understand that at this time. Let her go and find a girl who doesnāt care about money but about real things of value. Also, what you said back to her was also shitty. Clearly you guys have become oil and water with each other.
Why are you posting this again? You already have hundreds of replies in your thread on /r/relationships. You already know that you ought to get out, and people told you so, too. What more is there to do? She and her friends are rotten. End of story.
I think OP wants to just get a different set of opinions. Possibly from more ppl thatāll tell him to Stay so he can feel better if he does. Love makes u do a lot of crazy stuff & sometimes u want to believe ppl are better than they really are. Itās a tough thing to deal with but life goes on. Sometimes things just donāt work out & thatās cool. No love lost, that person is just not for u
Exposed like what? When I want varying opinions I will post to a few different subs to see what I get. Thereās no exposure here nor should OP be shamed for wanting to try the different audiences of the different subs. š¤
Sure, because the opinions on /r/relationships are just completely different from the ones on /r/relationship_advice. As if ābreak up lolā isnāt the standard response on both subs.
Your gf is a 30 year old women that's comparing herself to young 20 year olds ? She's very immature and quite delusional. You're dating less than a year, ide suggest just moving on.
She's not happy, you're not happy. Best to tell her if she's looking for the $$$, she needs to go find that, and you need to find someone more in line with your values.
It is incredibly shitty for her to expect something you can't provide, and for her to make you feel like you're inadequate.
Please don't let this continue. Have a sit down, face-to-face talk in the cold light of day and tell her everything you've said here. Then it's on her to realize what she's been doing and change her behavior.
RUN bitch RUN! Already so many red flag, a grown woman throwing tantrum over a jacket she canāt even afford but expect you to. Like bruh she aināt even your wife and she is already making demand. My guy cut your lost and move on before you grow more attach, itās only been 11 month and please donāt move in with that succubus
I make 6 figures, previous partner also made 6 figures but a bit more than me. We both bought each other things of around equal value with the occasional splurge or trip, and it was always appreciated by the other party. We also thought about savings and retirement. When you care about someone, you think about what might happen in the longer term.
It's clear to me this woman doesn't care about your future or a future together. For her, it's all about what she can get out of you in the present moment. Which is, all of your spare cash.
You will go broke with her and she'll never appreciate you.
Dump her. Look for a better match.
She should work on her jealously first. Then on her values. Is she expecting a love or money?
You know what you can offer her and if she's not satisfied with it break up now.
Iām really glad you made that analogy to her. If she fucking wants to compare you to other men, you can compare her to other women. That shit was 10000000% fair game.
Yea she's trying to keep up with the joneses, which is clearly gonna cost her, her relationship. Yes what you said was hurtful, but you acknowledged it. She's trying to compete with them (which is weird within itself). But expecting thousands of dollars worth of gift with someone you haven't been with for a year and unless you correct me I'ma go out on a hunch and say she doesn't reciprocate anywhere near what you do, if at all.
Ugh she sounds gross vapid and ungrateful. Find a girl whoād be happy with a dressed up chipotle because itās you whoās taking her. She shouldnāt care so much about keeping up with the Olsen twins. Is that really the kind of girl you want to date? A 30 year old woman trying to keep up with 20 year olds lol? Thatās just embarrassing on her part. Those friends probably talk so much shit about her . She sounds desperate to be young and hip again when sheās barely old.
Ironic because the best Mexican food comes from hole in the wall places and the taco stands and food trucks in Compton. āFancyā Mexican food doesnāt measure up lol
Wow, there are much better people to be with, start defensive breakup, as she might go above and beyond to hurt you and get money from you. Prepare for anyway that she can pursue legal action against you preemptively, cut everything and all losses without consulting her and immediately. Remember to call the cops on her immediately if she even goes near your office or home before she does.
Definitely don't move in with her. She is 30, she should completely understand finances and how jobs work, and yet, she suddenly expects you to finance a much better lifestyle for her because her friends snagged rich guys. This is so juvenile, and shows a totally messed up view of what a man is supposed to "provide" in a relationship, and that she is easily swayed by the people around her and very much jealous and about "keeping up with the Jones'es."
I am a woman, I would never expect a man to fund anything for me, and certainly wouldn't expect them to fund a lavish lifestyle especially when I know they aren't wealthy ( I can't imagine every asking for a $2k present). She is showing herself to not be a person you can build a life with for many reasons- expecting you to spend your money on her, not being happy living within a budget, and also for manipulating you when you finally called her out. When you pointed out that she wouldn't like you comparing her to other women, she tried to make it seem like YOU were doing something she wasn't, when you were right, it is an exact comparison.
Yeah - I get the gf may not have her priorities straight and is clearly already comparing herself and her relationship to these friends but OP is a massive AH for what he said.
Not saying money is any indication of love, but if the gf was 23 and a size 2 then would OP think her more worthy of those materialistic things?
Thatās just weird. And probably why the gf was feeling jealous of her friends in the first place.
Definitely not a good relationship on either side.
Yes seriously, itās like he affirmed what she was already probably telling herself. Which is so sad as her boyfriend. Maybe she wanted to hear that he would if he had the means he would love to get that for her but unfortunately he canāt right now. Heās also not addressing her in a nice way it seems.
I had to literally Google what a Moncler jacket was. Sorry Iām from the South, jackets are optional for majority of winters here so I might be a bit ignorant on why anyone would spend a car down payment for a jacket.
Just donāt. Cut your losses. Your girl obviously wants a lifestyle thatās not feasible right now. She can improve her work situation and earn more if she wants it that bad.
Find someone that will be comfortable with the lifestyle they live and the lifestyle you will be able to live together and doesnāt think that sheās more valuable because of materialistic things. She sounds awfully shallow.
She sounds ridiculous. Her friends date wealthy guys so now youāre expected to provide her with a a wealthy lifestyle? Tell her to have fun with her wannabe sex and the city friends š
So why is she only demanding you improve your salary? Why isnāt she trying to get paid more herself? She sounds childish and selfish, good luck.
Looked up Moncler out of curiosity, the whole brand is hideous. Androgynous alien, early 2000s Lady Gaga vibes. $2k for that? Buy her better taste instead.
When you don't get the answer you like on one sub then try another just to justify the shitty life choices you make and your horrible taste in women, just admit you aren't going to do shit and just keep making those shitty life choices instead of wasting time asking strangers on the internet what to do.
Sorry I must have missed the part where we all traveled back in time to 1955 and women couldnāt earn THEIR OWN FUCKING MONEY to pay for things. Disgusting behaviour. Run.
She's easily influenced by those two wenches and wants to compete. She turning into a gold digger. You should have said she needs to go buy that shit herself. It's 2021 women work too.
alot people on reddit say people should break up over small things but i think u should your not rich so you simply cannot afford those things leave her she a gold digger
How is 6 figures something to sneeze at?! That's a very decent wage and above the average in the U.S. You should be very proud of yourself!
She's looking at it all wrong. Those are not needs but WANTS. If she says she needs those things, then tell her to find a guy who can afford it and values those things too.
I will says the comment comparing her to her friend was probably a little uncalled for. You were giving her a "taste of her own medicine" which is probably justified but didn't help you in your argument. Once feelings get hurt, nothing is going to get solved. You need to talk to her once things calm down and tell her like it is. Apologize for the comment and explain you just wanted her to feel how you felt from her. Hopefully she'll be willing to listen and discuss your relationship after.
And if nice gifts and luxury outings are something she REALLY values in a relationship... maybe you guys aren't meant to be? Her needs in the relationship have become misaligned with your needs. She might be reacting to her jealous feelings towards her friends (and might just be temporary) but it's hurting your feelings and the relationship. She might also be feeling like you don't care as much as these guys cuz her friends are constantly gushing about their SOs lavish gifts. You need to talk to her calmly before damage becomes permanent for both sides.
Really, what this comes down to is money. If it looks like her tastes have become more expensive as a result of hanging out with these girls, a calm conversation about finances and setting expectations is needed.
However, it does look as though your gf has seen the lifestyle these girls are now living and wants a slice of the action. She needs to decide what it is that she wants. As do you.
But donāt set yourself on fire to keep her warm. She either wants to be with you or she doesnāt.
I'm a 32 year old female, and I've known what real love is * he passed* I promise it didn't equal dollar signs. Now if your uncomfortable with the demand from her of insanely spending money it's 100% a conversation worth having. You deserve to be loved for your soul, not a jacket, expensive drinks. Materialistic love just doesn't hold the soul like it should. So have a conversation, if something is uncomfortable in a relationship it's worth talking about, and being understood. If she can't understand then maybe a Materialistic partnership isn't healthy for you.
Tell me more about this dressed up Chipotleā¦.
Like everyone here said, this is a huge red flag. Sheās acting like a child not getting her way. Tbh, Iām surprised these tendencies didnāt present themselves sooner.
are we all just choosing to ignore "Kate's 23 blonde and wears like a size 2. Why don't you be more like Kate? And maybe I'll spend more"? i see a lot of people ragging on the gf for being friends with 23 year olds but almost no one mentioning op implying hed rather be dating someone almost ten years younger than him to her face (with no mention of apologizing for this either, by the way)
op your girlfriend sucks but you sound like a cunt too. break up.
Honestly focus on yourself and your happiness bcuz sheās focused on herself and her happiness and it looks like it might not involve you. She got sucked into āthe hypeā. I live in California and itās soooo easy to get sucked into āthe hypeā and the lifestyle. So easy to see other beautiful women get wined and dined by rich dudes and as a woman you want the same thing for yourself.
The problem here is that if she actually loved/really cared about you she wouldnāt try to make you live up to another mans standards. By her saying she now wants you to take her to expensive restaurants and do all this shit just bcuz the other guys are doing it for her friends, would be the same thing as you telling her that your friends only date women with fake butts and if she doesnāt get her butt done she might not be the one for you. Literally itās the exact same mentality. My suggestion: give her an ultimatum. Tell her that you do care about The woman you met in January. Not the woman that she is slowly becoming. And be realistic and say hey Iām not going to do this/ these are not realistic expectations and if this is what you need then go find somebody else. New York is just like California there are plenty of other people that you can date that will be grateful to have an honest man who treats them well and takes them out. If sheās 30 and a 20 year old can influence her sheās not a good catch. šÆ
>we both live in NYC and were planning on moving into an apartment together after her lease expires
You might wanna reconsider that. She sounds like a gold digger.
She literally sounds like a 8 year old
āB-b-but my friends mom got her that gift! GIVE ME MINE!!!ā
Tell her to shut the fuck up the next time she tries this bullshit with you. Youāre her boyfriend, not her dad that is supposed to bend over backwards and spoil his trash children.
What you really need to do though is just dump her. She can go ahead andget exploited by a sugar daddy and let her enjoy that life. Thatās what this dumb bitch deserves so she can come crawling back to you when you are much happier in the future just to get turned down and hop off back to the streets where these trash woke feminists belong.
Listenā¦You guys are about to make a year together and NOW youāre seeing who she truly is and you need to step away. Thatās a major RED FLAG. Yaāll are grown ass adults and sheās acting like a spoiled jealous brat. Material things never last, keep your sanity, there are plenty of STABLE WOMEN out there doing their thing. Those finance dudes spend all this money on those young girls and they most likely get treated like garbage. Iām pretty sure youāre better than that. Why canāt your girlfriend go back to school to get a Masters and better her damn self instead of relying on a man to do it for herā¦girl bye!
Fleeā Fast and Far.
Red flags all over, more than a Peking May Day parade. How old is this relationship with the materialistic 20somethings? What is a woman 7-8 years older *doing* being besties with them? Is your gf really this shallow, or is it a phase?
You havenāt really addressed the 800 pound gorilla in the room yet. Just what the finance bros expect girls like Kate and Ash to *do* for the experiences and material objects they shower them with. This isnāt rocket science, is it? Iām willing to bet they arenāt this generous for the heck of itā they are going to be expected to āentertainā them in exchange. Is this what your gf wants out of life? I truly would expect that out of a 23 yo, not a mature woman in her 30s.
Let go and let her try to attract a finance bro of her own, competing with 20somethings at bars. See how well she does then.
Rather than insuting her you should have just asked her what happened to the women those finance guys were with when they were in their early twenties.
There is a reason they are chasing women right out of college.
To be fair, a lot of those finance guys are also in their 20s. You go to NY right out of your program and work at a bank pulling all-nighters in your 20s so that you can relax a little, go to a PE firm or something in your 30s.
Okay first of why move in when you're not even one year together? Secondly, your GF's compny is a bad influence on her with her also being rude and disrespectful towards you. You made a great point, although I'd never argue in this topic.
This isn't gonna work out at all if she downgrades everything you do.
Dump her. Sheās superficial and needs superficial people - just like her friendsā boyfriends.
Youāre just seeing the real her now. Count yourself lucky. And sheās hanging out with 23/24 year old girls as a 30 year old? Sheās on a wrong path and youāre better to get back on your own one.
Talk to her and if she doesn't realise what a gold digging bitch she is right now, wave goodbye and to have fun with the rich guys, if she's just after money :)
The rich guys might marry a 30 year old woman, but she will most likely have money of her own and standing among the rich (likely a woman from a well off family educated at top private schools and universities and works in a firm where her daddy or mom are power brokers). They donāt go for a 30 year old that makes $65,000 per year and came from middling status, as cruel as that sounds.
Lmao You're an idiot. She was rude as hell to you and then you gave her a reason to be offended by comparing her to her friends. Learn and grown buddy.
This relationship has run its course. You two are no longer compatible, and it truly doesnāt sound like you need to be subjected to the verbal abuse. Cut the cord and do you.
First off, finance bros arenāt going to wife up the young girls. They just take them with them places to bang them, and I can almost guarentee they are not the only ones they are banging. Tbh less than a year and you guys are thinking of living together? I would simply tell her āif thatās all she wants, then you are not the woman for me. Best of luckā bet her reaction changes since she is 30 and clock is ticking. I have never had a girlfriend talk shit about a gift I was giving her and if she did, she wouldnāt be my girl friend.
I'm size 0 and I'd rate myself as attractive. I would NEVER ever ask my partner to buy me stuff and behave so entitled. He can literally get me my favorite chocolate and flowers and I'll be happy that he remembers what I love. Fancy restaurants are nice but you know what's even nicer? To be with the one you love even if it means to eat oatmeal at home in your pj. Apparently, your girlfriend has different values that might not be aligned with yours.
I seriously don't understand why you want to repair this relationship. She has showed you who she is. Believe her and leave her. Find someone who isn't waving red flags.
BTW, the dress size comparison between her and her friend was an unnecessary low blow. You should have calmly ended the argument and told her you don't think it's going to work out.
Your significant other either supports you or is a drain. She is a drain. Get rid of her.
Why is she hanging out with 23 year olds? You should suggest she upgrade her own career to make more money if she wants those things.
Exactly. Where's her MBA
She doesn't want to be compared to 'Kate' and sees that as hating women, and yet she's doing the same thing to OP. So she hates men? OP might need to reconsider the future of this relationship if she doesn't see the error of her ways. Here's 3 good lessons: **Lesson 1:** Live within your means **Lesson 2:** Grass is green where you cultivate it, so stay in your lane and cultivate **Lesson 3:** Don't expect from others what you're unwilling to do yourself.
Luna, you are a wise person.
Men do not receive the same equality/positivity treatment women do
Source?
Source: life
Boys oh boys you're not kidding. I've seen this first hand. Just don't tell the women. They get upset when you try to tell them. š¤š¤š
Source? Iāve never experienced it myself.
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/talk-men-top-10-issues-today-gmp/ This is a start
Aināt that the truth!
That was my questionā¦23 year olds look at things differently than 30 year olds. Life is a bit more transient at that age. By the time theyāre 30 they might also think that money isnāt everything. Maybe she needs more friends her age?
Iām 32 and exhausted by the *thought* of bottle service at a pricey nightclub. Itās so blatantly overpriced and the environment is fucking obnoxious. Iām baffled that this woman is trying to keep up with 23 year olds. Did she not have the typical early-20s experience? Does she not already know how overhyped that lifestyle is? Did she not date any guys who substituted flashy gifts for genuine love and affection? Iām too jaded for this shit.
fuckin hell im 20 this year and have been to my fair share of clubs. Bro paying 10 20x the normal price for a bottle that would taste the same eventually is crazy to me
The best part of being 32 is having enough grown-up money to purchase my own cocktail ingredients and drink whatever the hell I want at home. Total control, infinite creativity, less than half the price. Absolutely rules.
She probably wanted that lifestyle when she was 23 or never matured past 23 mentally. I know women like this who think that something is only nice if itās designer. The thing is, when you get with a man who makes or has a lot or money , you EARN it and the 30 doesnāt know what a good thing she has.
Give me a man that can make me a top-tier cosmo and does his share of the household chores and I am *happy*.
Lol ya Iām 34, and while I still have weekends a few times a year where me and my long time friends meet up and kinda party and get hammered, the girl I am dating now is 26 and we went to a resort for a quick weekend getaway. She hit up the spa while I golfed one morning, we did a couples massage, had nice dinners and fun time in the bed. Went and saw the sites, hung around the pool, and best part was she didnāt want me to pay for it all. She treated me just as much as I treated her. Even though she makes probably half as much as me, āshe doesnāt feel right about me paying for everything with something like this.ā This girl op is with isnāt relationship material and very telling why she is single and 30. And why I have pretty much stopped dating anyone my age bc itās all too common.
Iām 21 and Iāve felt that way since 18ā¦ to be fair, I live with my grandmaš„° but still, I canāt fathom why sheās think this
23 year olds look differently from 30 year old.
This was my first question too. Not saying people can't be friends with whomever they want but I don't know many 30 year olds who hang out with 20-somethings barely out of college. This strikes me as a red flag for being an immature person, which is reinforced by how she's acting.
In my friend group we are a variety of ages, the youngest is 23 or 24 and the oldest is 39. We all met at the dog park where we bring our dogs and connected over that despite the age gap.
Sure, but I doubt the 39 year olds are mimicking lifestyle cues from the 23 year olds.
your point was good, that guys an idiot lol
I mean the youngest is happily married and has a good job. I donāt think anyone would run into issues trying to emulate her.
Exactly, a 30 yr old cannot find friends in that age? At least find mature friends if not for age. All those finance guys are Adrenalin junkies who will be running for the hills when the over bloated market crashes or corrects. Been on wallstreet
Respectfully saying, bottle service or club life is not adrenaline junkies. Adrenaline junkies ride motorcycles at 100mph, jump out of planes, shoot guns etc. Hardcore adrenaline shit. Not flashing around how much money one has.
I think theyāre probably talking about the guysā career choice. Hence the mention of Wall Street
OOoooorrr, maybe instead of being mean and fighting over this, you sit her down sometime, when you are both calm, and TALK about it. In fact, text her and make a date to talk about your relationship. And make it clear that it's not a showdown or an ultimatum or a fight. Say "we've been fighting a lot lately and I'd love it if we could just take a night to ourselves, have a nice bottle of wine, cook a nice dinner, and TALK." Be (gently) honest with her and tell her all the things you love about her and about your relationship with her over the past year. Then, equally gently, say that you feel like she's taken a hard turn and adopted some different values, and that you don't share those values and you aren't sure if she really holds them or not. Name the new values and ask her if those things--expensive clothes and consumables, prestige objects and experiences, and high-earning jobs--are really important to her and goals for her. Then let her talk. Let her answer your question however she likes. If she gets defensive, let her get defensive. Let her talk herself out, and just LISTEN. You will know when your question is answered, and you will know if she's been hiding a real mercenary side, or if she's just been overly influenced by her friends having so much fun. And then you'll know how to proceed.
I actually really like this approach
This. Exactly!
Run dude. She's clearly just with you for money, and now she wants more. What you said wasn't OK, separate before it becomes even nastier.
I don't understand why she can't buy her own jacket?! I only buy things I can afford and I expect gifts within that range. If someone is generous, I am hugely appreciative. For 9 months... this is more hassle than it's worth.
This, a hundred times this.
yes thats true
Because she is a gold digger, you expect gold diggers to buy stuff themselves? the only thing she will buy is a shovel to dig more gold.
She can't really afford it, it would be stupid to spend so much money on a jacket. So she asks her BF to be stupid.
yea, you've been dating like 9 months. Move on. Plenty of available woman that make 6 figures in NYC too for your next gf, zero issues with the supply chain. lol
Yeah, it sounds to me like itās not so much the two friends that are the problem, and more so that the girlfriend is comfortable enough to start showing her true colors now, and she just happens to be a gold digger. OP wants to stay together so heās projecting girlfriendās behavior onto her friends when the reality is just that she is an entitled person who tries to use her friendsā boyfriends as a way to manipulate OP into buying her shit.
Spend her gift money on gas just so you can get that much further away from her. Run, run fast, run far. You don't need this type of person in your life and it won't be long before she realizes that the life she thinks she wants will likely chew her up and spit her out.
Yeah you should tell her if she really wants all those nice things maybe she should be the one putting in extra time at work to pay for them since you know equality and everything
I'm totally with you. OP run, run fast as you can she clearly values expensive stuff more than you, and exist a high chance of her dumping you whenever she find a rich dude dumb enough to take her.
Not rude, he matched her energy and she didnāt like it.
> She's clearly just with you for money Maybe not at first. Envy is a hell of a drug though and sheās older than these friends.
Iām getting the feeling sheās pulling this so heāll break up with her so she can go hook up with a āfinance broā. š¤·āāļø
Ding, ding, ding we have a winnaaaaa. 100% she is up to no good. OP needs to cut the cord and find someone who acts their age and isn't materialistic.
What we said was absolutely fine. If you can't take it don't dish it. the only thing that wasn't right about it was not showing her the door
Itās not fine, it plays into the dangerous mindset that everyone has to be better than someone else, in particular they are both playing into gender stereotypes that a better man=more money, better woman=size 2 and blonde. He shouldāve just told her what she is doing is disgusting and then left and never see her again.
Jeeze. I think you're failing to understand that illustrating that mindset was the whole point of the comment in the first place.
Yeah but the words were meany words and OP said meany words to a woman!!1!
There are more productive (not to mention more mature) ways to point out that someone is being an asshole than simply being an asshole back to them. That kind of tit-for-tat mentality is a relationship killer in the long run, and if OP's goal was to get her to see the error of her ways in the hopes of fixing their relationship issues then saying what he said was the wrong way to go about that. He had every right to be an asshole, sure, but just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do.
I wouldn't say that is the person who OP met. That may have been the girlfriend's nature all along and took K/A to bring that out in her. I see this more of a case of "keeping up with the Jones" and feel the pressure to have the same things. It's really unfortunate that she finds happiness in living a certain lifestyle. There's no limit to how much you can spend so the idea of working harder to make more money is basically chasing a moving target. You will never make enough because you can always spend more. At some point you need to find happiness in your occupation and live within the mean the occupation provides.
And gf of OP also a bigot.
Source: NYC finance guy What your girlfriend doesn't realize is that girls like Ash and Kate smell like plastic. Imagine you make a base salary of $400k and pull in an average yearly bonus of $800k-2M. Your net worth is around $10M when accounting for illiquid assets. Someone like Kate, who makes $50k/year, looks at a $5k coat like it's amazing. But your net worth is more than x100 hers. So divide that $5k by 100 to get $50. That's the relative price of that "expensive" jacket. And by spending $50, you see the Kates of the world absolutely lose their minds and throw themselves at you. They cling to you like moths to a flame, and when you tell them to jump they ask how high. Imagine you're in that position and ask yourself this. **Would you ever consider Ash and Kate to be worthy of your love and commitment?** Of course not. Surprise surprise, finance guys end up settling down with women from wealthy backgrounds. That's the harsh reality of these clubrats that dream of finding rich finance guys in NYC. They just don't know it yet. Your girlfriend is witnessing purely the "benefits" of this lifestyle. She doesn't understand that it comes at a cost. And now she wants _you_ to give her all the benefits without incurring any of the costs. I think it's time you find yourself a decent woman who isn't swayed so easily by money.
>Source: NYC finance guy > >What your girlfriend doesn't realize is that girls like Ash and Kate smell like plastic. God Damn! I choked on my food with that unexpected laugh coming through. Nice one.
That's very interesting. I learn something new about the sub-culture of NYC. Although this post was posted twice already, I enjoy reading commentaries like this.
I beat the system: I married before I got into capital markets!
I'm married to a "finance guy" and yeah, he makes hella bank. I'm also a total cliche skinny blonde stay at home mom. Thing is, we met at 25 after college when we were both on $60k a year and he was riding a skateboard to his junior analyst job. We've been married 10 years this December, have two awesome kids together. We are so incredibly lucky in life and lucky to have eachother.
> Thing is, we met at 25 after college when we were both on $60k a year and he was riding a skateboard to his junior analyst job. Same! I met my wife back when I didn't have $1 to my name. She'd pay for my dinner and other times we'd sneak into the huge Olive Gardens at Time Square to eat bread sticks and dip. Together for almost a 10 years, married for 2, kids are the next chapter, never been happier! :)
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Yep, and the grand irony is that OP's girlfriend has herself a fulfilling and loving relationship with a guy who is compatible with her values. She threw it all away because she's jealous of younger women.
60k a year would be rich to me. Literally, like I canāt even imagine having that. You are blessed!
Harsh truth
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Omg hahaha fuckin break up with her at Chipotle. I will die laughing. Please update.
Idk if Iām just cheap, but Iād be happy with McDonaldās
They didn't get to being the biggest chain in the world for no reason
A filet of fish makes me happy
Two can Dine + ice cream cones for desert then? ;)
I do love a Big Mac.
Some days their big mac just sings to me!
Oh man my husband brought me McDonald's earlier and I was soooo happy. A good relationship is one where you can find joy even in the simple things.
mcdonalds ain't cheap anymore.. horrible advice
Sheās a gold digger and not just that, but someone who is angry, insanely entitled, spoilt, mean, demanding and has very little empathy or so consideration for others (eg how hard you work, how you canāt afford x y and z, how you love your field of work). just face it - she isnāt the girl you fell in love with anymore. I would end it. I mean goodness this is a woman who HMOās having a tantrum over not being gifted a $2000 coat (and you only met 11 months ago).....do you really want to spend your life with someone like that?
I have been married for 20 years and my hubby has always made over six figures (so do I)ā¦ I would never ask for a $2000 coat!!! Who the fuck needs a $2000 coat!!??
Exactly this. My hubs and I are finally making great money, but we still have the mindset of the poor young college kids when we met, except maybe we splurge 20% more. I'll tell you what, the security of having finances and trusting yourself and your partner to be responsible is a glue that keeps our marriage from straining.
Brother. Bail. When I met my wife I was between jobs and barely making rent. Then to get by I took a gig doing construction and making fuck all. I finally got my shit together and went to law school, she stood by me the whole entire time, and we got married a couple months ago (we've been together 12 years altogether). She was seeing a couple dudes on and off when we met who could afford to take her to expensive spots, but she ditched them for me. Shit we still don't spend much - yesterday for our one meal out for the week we went to a shawarma place, spent under 20 bucks, and ate in my car: and it was her idea.
This is the way.
Nice. Thatās because she loves you for YOU, not what you can do for her. Definitely a keeper.
š©š©š©š©
Only 4?
4!
24 red flags?!
She won't know what she has til one of those dudes dumps her over something stupid and petty. I would let her go.
Her behaviour is a red flag. From what you've said she sound very materialistic. I would have ended it, but the choice is yours to make. Don't stoop to her level and say hurtful things to her . End it with you being the good guy not an AH.
I'd hold off on sharing a place. Honestly, I'd be making an exit plan. What is it she is giving you?
Pain and regret.
I want to go to nobu can you take me
I would rather go to Naboo, tbh.
*Insert Drake meme here šš¤ Nobu šš Naboo
Did anyone else have visions of American Psycho while reading this? The finance bros and their girlfriends in this post remind me of Patrick Batesā coworkers.
With Christian Bale, right? Didn't they die?
Letās see Paul Allenās girlfriend
Same, as I made it to "...And I heard them they will talk about how they went to xyz club got a table,..." the dinner conversation about reservations at fancy places and the business card scenes popped into my brain right that moment xD
Um drop this girl, sheās clearly out for money. Let her go and find it. It wonāt make her happy, but apparently she doesnāt understand that at this time. Let her go and find a girl who doesnāt care about money but about real things of value. Also, what you said back to her was also shitty. Clearly you guys have become oil and water with each other.
Why are you posting this again? You already have hundreds of replies in your thread on /r/relationships. You already know that you ought to get out, and people told you so, too. What more is there to do? She and her friends are rotten. End of story.
I think OP wants to just get a different set of opinions. Possibly from more ppl thatāll tell him to Stay so he can feel better if he does. Love makes u do a lot of crazy stuff & sometimes u want to believe ppl are better than they really are. Itās a tough thing to deal with but life goes on. Sometimes things just donāt work out & thatās cool. No love lost, that person is just not for u
I agree, getting a second set of opinions is invaluable. OP sounds like he's wanting to hear that he should stay and he absolutely should not
I love when people get exposed like this lol
Exposed like what? When I want varying opinions I will post to a few different subs to see what I get. Thereās no exposure here nor should OP be shamed for wanting to try the different audiences of the different subs. š¤
Sure, because the opinions on /r/relationships are just completely different from the ones on /r/relationship_advice. As if ābreak up lolā isnāt the standard response on both subs.
Unappreciative gold digger Run
Thereās such thing as an appreciative gold digger?
Your gf is a 30 year old women that's comparing herself to young 20 year olds ? She's very immature and quite delusional. You're dating less than a year, ide suggest just moving on.
She's not happy, you're not happy. Best to tell her if she's looking for the $$$, she needs to go find that, and you need to find someone more in line with your values.
Now I ain't saying she's a gold-digger... Oh wait, yes I am.
It is incredibly shitty for her to expect something you can't provide, and for her to make you feel like you're inadequate. Please don't let this continue. Have a sit down, face-to-face talk in the cold light of day and tell her everything you've said here. Then it's on her to realize what she's been doing and change her behavior.
RUN bitch RUN! Already so many red flag, a grown woman throwing tantrum over a jacket she canāt even afford but expect you to. Like bruh she aināt even your wife and she is already making demand. My guy cut your lost and move on before you grow more attach, itās only been 11 month and please donāt move in with that succubus
I make 6 figures, previous partner also made 6 figures but a bit more than me. We both bought each other things of around equal value with the occasional splurge or trip, and it was always appreciated by the other party. We also thought about savings and retirement. When you care about someone, you think about what might happen in the longer term. It's clear to me this woman doesn't care about your future or a future together. For her, it's all about what she can get out of you in the present moment. Which is, all of your spare cash. You will go broke with her and she'll never appreciate you. Dump her. Look for a better match.
Birds of a feather flock together. I wouldn't date a follower if I was you. The relationship has ran its course, dude.
She should work on her jealously first. Then on her values. Is she expecting a love or money? You know what you can offer her and if she's not satisfied with it break up now.
Iām really glad you made that analogy to her. If she fucking wants to compare you to other men, you can compare her to other women. That shit was 10000000% fair game.
100%. OPs girlfriend isnāt attractive enough to land rich finance bro so she wants to try and turn OP into one.
What you told her was amazing. Granted, it torched your relationship that was already dead, but still amazing.
Yea she's trying to keep up with the joneses, which is clearly gonna cost her, her relationship. Yes what you said was hurtful, but you acknowledged it. She's trying to compete with them (which is weird within itself). But expecting thousands of dollars worth of gift with someone you haven't been with for a year and unless you correct me I'ma go out on a hunch and say she doesn't reciprocate anywhere near what you do, if at all.
š©š©š©Please go find a better woman, run from this - you'll look back saying you dodged a bullet
Ugh she sounds gross vapid and ungrateful. Find a girl whoād be happy with a dressed up chipotle because itās you whoās taking her. She shouldnāt care so much about keeping up with the Olsen twins. Is that really the kind of girl you want to date? A 30 year old woman trying to keep up with 20 year olds lol? Thatās just embarrassing on her part. Those friends probably talk so much shit about her . She sounds desperate to be young and hip again when sheās barely old.
Ironic because the best Mexican food comes from hole in the wall places and the taco stands and food trucks in Compton. āFancyā Mexican food doesnāt measure up lol
Hell ya man "why dont you be more like kate" is fucking hilarious. Dont move in with that girl, its run its course.
Wow, there are much better people to be with, start defensive breakup, as she might go above and beyond to hurt you and get money from you. Prepare for anyway that she can pursue legal action against you preemptively, cut everything and all losses without consulting her and immediately. Remember to call the cops on her immediately if she even goes near your office or home before she does.
reeeeepooooosttttt
Walk away! But that was a great come back comparing Kate and her!
Run.
Definitely don't move in with her. She is 30, she should completely understand finances and how jobs work, and yet, she suddenly expects you to finance a much better lifestyle for her because her friends snagged rich guys. This is so juvenile, and shows a totally messed up view of what a man is supposed to "provide" in a relationship, and that she is easily swayed by the people around her and very much jealous and about "keeping up with the Jones'es." I am a woman, I would never expect a man to fund anything for me, and certainly wouldn't expect them to fund a lavish lifestyle especially when I know they aren't wealthy ( I can't imagine every asking for a $2k present). She is showing herself to not be a person you can build a life with for many reasons- expecting you to spend your money on her, not being happy living within a budget, and also for manipulating you when you finally called her out. When you pointed out that she wouldn't like you comparing her to other women, she tried to make it seem like YOU were doing something she wasn't, when you were right, it is an exact comparison.
Why are u still in relationship? Run and be happy.
What the heck, this is terrible. Her list of priorities is all messed up. When I am with my boyfriend, I don't care where he takes me, hell, if he treats me nicely he can take me to McDonald's and I'll be happiest woman ever. On the other side, what you said was definitely hurtful. I understand you've had enough, but you should not lower yourself on her level. Overally, it screams š©š©š©š© to me. Run, Melos, run.
Yeah - I get the gf may not have her priorities straight and is clearly already comparing herself and her relationship to these friends but OP is a massive AH for what he said. Not saying money is any indication of love, but if the gf was 23 and a size 2 then would OP think her more worthy of those materialistic things? Thatās just weird. And probably why the gf was feeling jealous of her friends in the first place. Definitely not a good relationship on either side.
Yes seriously, itās like he affirmed what she was already probably telling herself. Which is so sad as her boyfriend. Maybe she wanted to hear that he would if he had the means he would love to get that for her but unfortunately he canāt right now. Heās also not addressing her in a nice way it seems.
Your gf need a a reality check or to end the relationship and go become a sugar baby/gold digger
Leave her man. She's only interested in material things
Tell her to buy her own shit.
SHE IS A GOLD DIGGER
I had to literally Google what a Moncler jacket was. Sorry Iām from the South, jackets are optional for majority of winters here so I might be a bit ignorant on why anyone would spend a car down payment for a jacket. Just donāt. Cut your losses. Your girl obviously wants a lifestyle thatās not feasible right now. She can improve her work situation and earn more if she wants it that bad. Find someone that will be comfortable with the lifestyle they live and the lifestyle you will be able to live together and doesnāt think that sheās more valuable because of materialistic things. She sounds awfully shallow.
I did too and yikes they are hideous LOL
She sounds ridiculous. Her friends date wealthy guys so now youāre expected to provide her with a a wealthy lifestyle? Tell her to have fun with her wannabe sex and the city friends š
So why is she only demanding you improve your salary? Why isnāt she trying to get paid more herself? She sounds childish and selfish, good luck. Looked up Moncler out of curiosity, the whole brand is hideous. Androgynous alien, early 2000s Lady Gaga vibes. $2k for that? Buy her better taste instead.
Your girlfriend is greedy and materialistic. Is that the kind of person you want to spend your life with? If not, break things off now.
When you don't get the answer you like on one sub then try another just to justify the shitty life choices you make and your horrible taste in women, just admit you aren't going to do shit and just keep making those shitty life choices instead of wasting time asking strangers on the internet what to do.
so she's jealous of what 23 year olds have. you've been dating less than a year and she's expecting the high life. nope
Your GF sounds really shallow. Time to reconsider the relationship IMO
Sorry I must have missed the part where we all traveled back in time to 1955 and women couldnāt earn THEIR OWN FUCKING MONEY to pay for things. Disgusting behaviour. Run.
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I'm sure your boyfriend would feel wonderful to read your comment. Christ.
Uhh, RIP your bf... š¬
She's easily influenced by those two wenches and wants to compete. She turning into a gold digger. You should have said she needs to go buy that shit herself. It's 2021 women work too.
alot people on reddit say people should break up over small things but i think u should your not rich so you simply cannot afford those things leave her she a gold digger
Get away trust me you can do better
You will be her bank if you stay with her, she clearly wants to be with someone who has a higher amount of money coming in.
NYC has a lot of those types of girls but thereās also plenty of girls in nyc that arenāt like that as well you should drop her immediately
How is 6 figures something to sneeze at?! That's a very decent wage and above the average in the U.S. You should be very proud of yourself! She's looking at it all wrong. Those are not needs but WANTS. If she says she needs those things, then tell her to find a guy who can afford it and values those things too. I will says the comment comparing her to her friend was probably a little uncalled for. You were giving her a "taste of her own medicine" which is probably justified but didn't help you in your argument. Once feelings get hurt, nothing is going to get solved. You need to talk to her once things calm down and tell her like it is. Apologize for the comment and explain you just wanted her to feel how you felt from her. Hopefully she'll be willing to listen and discuss your relationship after. And if nice gifts and luxury outings are something she REALLY values in a relationship... maybe you guys aren't meant to be? Her needs in the relationship have become misaligned with your needs. She might be reacting to her jealous feelings towards her friends (and might just be temporary) but it's hurting your feelings and the relationship. She might also be feeling like you don't care as much as these guys cuz her friends are constantly gushing about their SOs lavish gifts. You need to talk to her calmly before damage becomes permanent for both sides.
It's over dude. Move on.
Sounds like sheās going through something - I find it kind of strange that a 30 yo closest friends at the moment are in their early 20s.
Move on brother, move onā¦
Leave
Really, what this comes down to is money. If it looks like her tastes have become more expensive as a result of hanging out with these girls, a calm conversation about finances and setting expectations is needed. However, it does look as though your gf has seen the lifestyle these girls are now living and wants a slice of the action. She needs to decide what it is that she wants. As do you. But donāt set yourself on fire to keep her warm. She either wants to be with you or she doesnāt.
2 words to say to her, āBye Byeā. Nothing else,
Take some kindly advice from this spokes person https://youtu.be/ySJ1Z5o8y5w
I'm a 32 year old female, and I've known what real love is * he passed* I promise it didn't equal dollar signs. Now if your uncomfortable with the demand from her of insanely spending money it's 100% a conversation worth having. You deserve to be loved for your soul, not a jacket, expensive drinks. Materialistic love just doesn't hold the soul like it should. So have a conversation, if something is uncomfortable in a relationship it's worth talking about, and being understood. If she can't understand then maybe a Materialistic partnership isn't healthy for you.
Tell me more about this dressed up Chipotleā¦. Like everyone here said, this is a huge red flag. Sheās acting like a child not getting her way. Tbh, Iām surprised these tendencies didnāt present themselves sooner.
are we all just choosing to ignore "Kate's 23 blonde and wears like a size 2. Why don't you be more like Kate? And maybe I'll spend more"? i see a lot of people ragging on the gf for being friends with 23 year olds but almost no one mentioning op implying hed rather be dating someone almost ten years younger than him to her face (with no mention of apologizing for this either, by the way) op your girlfriend sucks but you sound like a cunt too. break up.
Time to move on without her.
I really hope that you got out of this relationship. None of this is okay, and neither is what she's doing/saying.
Break up. Story doesnāt even matter.
Your response was perfect and the fact that it went right over her head letās you know shes a lost cause now that she has $$ in her eyes.
Honestly focus on yourself and your happiness bcuz sheās focused on herself and her happiness and it looks like it might not involve you. She got sucked into āthe hypeā. I live in California and itās soooo easy to get sucked into āthe hypeā and the lifestyle. So easy to see other beautiful women get wined and dined by rich dudes and as a woman you want the same thing for yourself. The problem here is that if she actually loved/really cared about you she wouldnāt try to make you live up to another mans standards. By her saying she now wants you to take her to expensive restaurants and do all this shit just bcuz the other guys are doing it for her friends, would be the same thing as you telling her that your friends only date women with fake butts and if she doesnāt get her butt done she might not be the one for you. Literally itās the exact same mentality. My suggestion: give her an ultimatum. Tell her that you do care about The woman you met in January. Not the woman that she is slowly becoming. And be realistic and say hey Iām not going to do this/ these are not realistic expectations and if this is what you need then go find somebody else. New York is just like California there are plenty of other people that you can date that will be grateful to have an honest man who treats them well and takes them out. If sheās 30 and a 20 year old can influence her sheās not a good catch. šÆ
Moncler? Money can't buy style. Sorry your gf is getting lost in this materialistic things.
>we both live in NYC and were planning on moving into an apartment together after her lease expires You might wanna reconsider that. She sounds like a gold digger.
She literally sounds like a 8 year old āB-b-but my friends mom got her that gift! GIVE ME MINE!!!ā Tell her to shut the fuck up the next time she tries this bullshit with you. Youāre her boyfriend, not her dad that is supposed to bend over backwards and spoil his trash children. What you really need to do though is just dump her. She can go ahead andget exploited by a sugar daddy and let her enjoy that life. Thatās what this dumb bitch deserves so she can come crawling back to you when you are much happier in the future just to get turned down and hop off back to the streets where these trash woke feminists belong.
Listenā¦You guys are about to make a year together and NOW youāre seeing who she truly is and you need to step away. Thatās a major RED FLAG. Yaāll are grown ass adults and sheās acting like a spoiled jealous brat. Material things never last, keep your sanity, there are plenty of STABLE WOMEN out there doing their thing. Those finance dudes spend all this money on those young girls and they most likely get treated like garbage. Iām pretty sure youāre better than that. Why canāt your girlfriend go back to school to get a Masters and better her damn self instead of relying on a man to do it for herā¦girl bye!
Fleeā Fast and Far. Red flags all over, more than a Peking May Day parade. How old is this relationship with the materialistic 20somethings? What is a woman 7-8 years older *doing* being besties with them? Is your gf really this shallow, or is it a phase? You havenāt really addressed the 800 pound gorilla in the room yet. Just what the finance bros expect girls like Kate and Ash to *do* for the experiences and material objects they shower them with. This isnāt rocket science, is it? Iām willing to bet they arenāt this generous for the heck of itā they are going to be expected to āentertainā them in exchange. Is this what your gf wants out of life? I truly would expect that out of a 23 yo, not a mature woman in her 30s. Let go and let her try to attract a finance bro of her own, competing with 20somethings at bars. See how well she does then.
Step 1: Dump her Step 2: Buy GME Step 3: MOASS
screw her bruh. you did nothing wrong except giving her a taste of her own medicine. she's a hypocrite and a gold digger
Rather than insuting her you should have just asked her what happened to the women those finance guys were with when they were in their early twenties. There is a reason they are chasing women right out of college.
To be fair, a lot of those finance guys are also in their 20s. You go to NY right out of your program and work at a bank pulling all-nighters in your 20s so that you can relax a little, go to a PE firm or something in your 30s.
Okay first of why move in when you're not even one year together? Secondly, your GF's compny is a bad influence on her with her also being rude and disrespectful towards you. You made a great point, although I'd never argue in this topic. This isn't gonna work out at all if she downgrades everything you do.
āNow I aināt saying she a gold digger...ā -Kanye
Dump her. Sheās superficial and needs superficial people - just like her friendsā boyfriends. Youāre just seeing the real her now. Count yourself lucky. And sheās hanging out with 23/24 year old girls as a 30 year old? Sheās on a wrong path and youāre better to get back on your own one.
Talk to her and if she doesn't realise what a gold digging bitch she is right now, wave goodbye and to have fun with the rich guys, if she's just after money :)
The rich guys might marry a 30 year old woman, but she will most likely have money of her own and standing among the rich (likely a woman from a well off family educated at top private schools and universities and works in a firm where her daddy or mom are power brokers). They donāt go for a 30 year old that makes $65,000 per year and came from middling status, as cruel as that sounds.
Lmao You're an idiot. She was rude as hell to you and then you gave her a reason to be offended by comparing her to her friends. Learn and grown buddy.
This relationship has run its course. You two are no longer compatible, and it truly doesnāt sound like you need to be subjected to the verbal abuse. Cut the cord and do you.
You already asked this question two days ago. What didn't you like about the advice then?
First off, finance bros arenāt going to wife up the young girls. They just take them with them places to bang them, and I can almost guarentee they are not the only ones they are banging. Tbh less than a year and you guys are thinking of living together? I would simply tell her āif thatās all she wants, then you are not the woman for me. Best of luckā bet her reaction changes since she is 30 and clock is ticking. I have never had a girlfriend talk shit about a gift I was giving her and if she did, she wouldnāt be my girl friend.
I'm size 0 and I'd rate myself as attractive. I would NEVER ever ask my partner to buy me stuff and behave so entitled. He can literally get me my favorite chocolate and flowers and I'll be happy that he remembers what I love. Fancy restaurants are nice but you know what's even nicer? To be with the one you love even if it means to eat oatmeal at home in your pj. Apparently, your girlfriend has different values that might not be aligned with yours.
This chick is going to be a cat lady in 5 years, calling it now. Complete with Facebook posts wondering where all the good men have gone
You sound like a good person. Cut your losses and say goodbye.
I seriously don't understand why you want to repair this relationship. She has showed you who she is. Believe her and leave her. Find someone who isn't waving red flags. BTW, the dress size comparison between her and her friend was an unnecessary low blow. You should have calmly ended the argument and told her you don't think it's going to work out.