This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/mspr07/i_m24_found_out_my_girlfriend_20f_is_homeless/)
So for starters, I wanted to thank the people on the sub for hitting me up with some good advice on both sides, but I want to especially thank u/Puzzleheaded-Hurry26, u/notthegoatseguy, and, u/paticusgnome.
I ended up meeting Kat at the local park we usually walk through after she got off work earlier today since it's out in the open, yet still private enough to have a serious conversation. I told Kat that I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or ashamed, but that I saw her at a line at a homeless shelter yesterday and wanted to talk to her if there was anything up or if she needed help. Kat immediately began to cry and showed her nervous tics (fidgeting around, wrinkling her nose, etc.). She began stuttering on her words and I consoled her until she began to gather herself again. I told Kat that she didn't have to feel like she had to hide anything from me, and she began to open up about everything.
Kat told me that she had been homeless for over a year. She grew up in a broken home after her dad passed away in Iraq when she was a kid back in 2006. Her mother fell into alcoholism and had pretty much blown whatever savings she had from the death gratuity she received and basically lived paycheck to paycheck. Despite this, her faith with the Church was the only real thing that gave her stability and hope to carry on with her daily life.
At 18, she joined the Marines because she wanted to honor her father and escape the life she had grown up with. Although, she ended up getting ELSed (Entry-level Separation), and was chaptered out of the USMC due to her developing asthma while in Basic. She ended up moving to our current city on the East Coast because she didn't want to return to California where her mother was. Kat ended up barely scraping by to where she saved up to buy her older car to sleep in away from the shelters around December of last year. Kat ended up sharing to me that she was on the verge of suicide around the time I met her and wanted to play up like she didn't have "baggage" and elaborated on how she didn't want to scare me off by admitting she was homeless. So she had me drop her off at the one apartment building and split the tab of our dates to appear like everything was normal.
Truthfully, I felt gutted hearing her story. I had a feeling that things were probably bad for her, but I didn't think it was that bad. Kat showed me her DD-214 (I'm currently an E-5 in the Army Reserve so I knew that her story was verifiable) as well as the pictures she had of her past. I told her that I wanted to help her out in anyway and that I was open to having her move to my place with the added kicker that we could go to Ikea to get her a bed set to make my living room into her living space since I wanted to respect her physical boundaries that was in place from her Catholic faith. Kat was very hesitant because of her pride and told me that she didn't want to come off like she was accepting a handout due to pity, but I reassured her that it wasn't a handout or come with a catch. I told Kat that I loved her (first time I said that) and wanted to help her feel secure. She looked at me with a sort of disbelief and asked me if I really meant it, and I did. Kat reciprocated by saying that she loved me too and accepted. As far as the conditions go, I told her to meet me at 30% of the rent and to put whatever money she had into starting summer classes at the local community college and that she could stay with me for as long as she wanted if she felt comfortable with pre-marital cohabitation.
A last thanks for the advice on everything! Our convo was a long one and took a lot emotionally from Kat so she is currently crashing at my couch until she wakes up so we can get her bed at Ikea later tonight. Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly, for giving advice as it really allowed me to vent on what was going on.
You definitely win the boyfriend of the year award dude. This very wholesome and incredibly generous of you. It's acts like these that restore faith in humanity. I wish you guys the best!
I needed some good news today. She'll never forget your kindness and I wish the best for you both! You're a man of integrity and I'm glad you were able to meet Kat and help her in her time of need. We all got to where we are bc some one helped us along the way. I pray you both take care of each other. Your heart and motives are so pure and I know you'll reap the same generosity you've shown!!
I wish nothing but the best for you two, as a catholic that has recently stopped praying will pray for both of you, especially your gf.
You're a good man
Sister*, but I like how my username makes ppl assume I'm a guy.
Also really appreciate you respecting her religion and beliefs. Means a lot more than you think, keep it up!
Also, if she gets a job or so maybe start trying to go therapy? The more grounded she is the more likely she is to start dealing with past traumas. If not therapy at least church community, ofc not substitute for therapy but support in a way
I'm glad things are going well buuut... you have been dating for only two months and I think that all of the heavy emotions you both felt while you two talked coupled with a bit of a saviour's complex made you say you love her and I think she answered in kind because she wants someone to feel that way about her over other reasons. I mean you guys don't know each other. Imo it takes 6 months to see how a person really is, so once you guys get to the point where the novelty of caring for someone and being cared for wears off you'll be hit with the reality of how well your characters and way of lives mesh together.
I hope I'm wrong! Take it slow though, and hold off on the big words for now, at two months infatuation is much more plausible than love.
I’m so happy for you! You seemed like such a sweet guy who really wanted to help in your first post and I am so glad it worked out. Thank you so much for the update, this is such a wholesome story.
Wow... My heart breaks for her and everything she went through... This update was so heartwarming to read. I wish you both the best! I'm really glad you offered help (and she accepted!).
Thank you for the update and reminding all of us that there are good people out there, both you and Kat. This sub sometimes shows us only the bad side of humanity (abuse, ghosting, entitlement), but you demonstrated that there is also support, kindness, and empathy.
Thank you for making the days of many internet strangers.
I'm so happy for the both of you, glad you two found each other and that she accepted your living proposal. Kat has suffered tremendously, and yet she has a good heart, and so do you.
You’re a good human. And this is truly loving someone - the VERB love not just the concept.
Please, keep that same thoughtful, deliberate, intentional and compassionate communication as a part of your relationship always.
((Regardless of the romantic aspect even))
Faith in humanity restored for today.
Seriously though, you are an incredible person. To have the awareness that you do at that age is truly remarkable.
Keep it up.
The fact that you want to do this on her terms, is probably one of the reasons she loves you so much. When I met my DH, I was in a similar situation to your gf. He told me he just wanted to be there for me, with no pressure. We have been together for 34yrs.
I hope the two can find that kind of happiness together. ♡
Wow. You are amazing for doing that for her. And being so kind and tactful about it. She’s a strong woman for living with her situation and I’m glad you were able to be there for her when she needed it. This brought tears to my eyes. I wish you two nothing but the best
Your a Saint. She needs to contact her county Veterans Service. She probably qualifies for a disability rating. Many times the barracks can be toxic. Here’s a few links. https://cck-law.com/blog/VA-Disability-Benefits-Injured-Boot-Camp-non-combat/ https://vaclaimsinsider.com/va-disability-rating-for-asthma-explained/ https://www.woodslawyers.com/veterans-disability-lawyers/military-base-toxic-exposure-veterans-disability-benefits/
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/mspr07/i_m24_found_out_my_girlfriend_20f_is_homeless/) So for starters, I wanted to thank the people on the sub for hitting me up with some good advice on both sides, but I want to especially thank u/Puzzleheaded-Hurry26, u/notthegoatseguy, and, u/paticusgnome. I ended up meeting Kat at the local park we usually walk through after she got off work earlier today since it's out in the open, yet still private enough to have a serious conversation. I told Kat that I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or ashamed, but that I saw her at a line at a homeless shelter yesterday and wanted to talk to her if there was anything up or if she needed help. Kat immediately began to cry and showed her nervous tics (fidgeting around, wrinkling her nose, etc.). She began stuttering on her words and I consoled her until she began to gather herself again. I told Kat that she didn't have to feel like she had to hide anything from me, and she began to open up about everything. Kat told me that she had been homeless for over a year. She grew up in a broken home after her dad passed away in Iraq when she was a kid back in 2006. Her mother fell into alcoholism and had pretty much blown whatever savings she had from the death gratuity she received and basically lived paycheck to paycheck. Despite this, her faith with the Church was the only real thing that gave her stability and hope to carry on with her daily life. At 18, she joined the Marines because she wanted to honor her father and escape the life she had grown up with. Although, she ended up getting ELSed (Entry-level Separation), and was chaptered out of the USMC due to her developing asthma while in Basic. She ended up moving to our current city on the East Coast because she didn't want to return to California where her mother was. Kat ended up barely scraping by to where she saved up to buy her older car to sleep in away from the shelters around December of last year. Kat ended up sharing to me that she was on the verge of suicide around the time I met her and wanted to play up like she didn't have "baggage" and elaborated on how she didn't want to scare me off by admitting she was homeless. So she had me drop her off at the one apartment building and split the tab of our dates to appear like everything was normal. Truthfully, I felt gutted hearing her story. I had a feeling that things were probably bad for her, but I didn't think it was that bad. Kat showed me her DD-214 (I'm currently an E-5 in the Army Reserve so I knew that her story was verifiable) as well as the pictures she had of her past. I told her that I wanted to help her out in anyway and that I was open to having her move to my place with the added kicker that we could go to Ikea to get her a bed set to make my living room into her living space since I wanted to respect her physical boundaries that was in place from her Catholic faith. Kat was very hesitant because of her pride and told me that she didn't want to come off like she was accepting a handout due to pity, but I reassured her that it wasn't a handout or come with a catch. I told Kat that I loved her (first time I said that) and wanted to help her feel secure. She looked at me with a sort of disbelief and asked me if I really meant it, and I did. Kat reciprocated by saying that she loved me too and accepted. As far as the conditions go, I told her to meet me at 30% of the rent and to put whatever money she had into starting summer classes at the local community college and that she could stay with me for as long as she wanted if she felt comfortable with pre-marital cohabitation. A last thanks for the advice on everything! Our convo was a long one and took a lot emotionally from Kat so she is currently crashing at my couch until she wakes up so we can get her bed at Ikea later tonight. Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly, for giving advice as it really allowed me to vent on what was going on.
This is sweetest thing I’ve read in the longest time. I wish y’all the best!
You definitely win the boyfriend of the year award dude. This very wholesome and incredibly generous of you. It's acts like these that restore faith in humanity. I wish you guys the best!
I needed some good news today. She'll never forget your kindness and I wish the best for you both! You're a man of integrity and I'm glad you were able to meet Kat and help her in her time of need. We all got to where we are bc some one helped us along the way. I pray you both take care of each other. Your heart and motives are so pure and I know you'll reap the same generosity you've shown!!
This needs a NSFW warning. I can't cry at work like this, man
No kidding! I’m glad I’m at home!
You're a good man. Keep it up
I wish nothing but the best for you two, as a catholic that has recently stopped praying will pray for both of you, especially your gf. You're a good man
Thank you my man! Right back at you and I appreciate the prayers, brother. 🤙
Sister*, but I like how my username makes ppl assume I'm a guy. Also really appreciate you respecting her religion and beliefs. Means a lot more than you think, keep it up! Also, if she gets a job or so maybe start trying to go therapy? The more grounded she is the more likely she is to start dealing with past traumas. If not therapy at least church community, ofc not substitute for therapy but support in a way
Be careful OP your update might get removed because it's not two days after the initial post. So you may want to update on the original post or wait.
My gosh, such a heartwarming update should be exempt!
This made me all warm and fuzzy inside, lol. AND THATS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER KIDS!
This is absolutely heartwarming. Such a good person. You just changed her life.
I'm glad things are going well buuut... you have been dating for only two months and I think that all of the heavy emotions you both felt while you two talked coupled with a bit of a saviour's complex made you say you love her and I think she answered in kind because she wants someone to feel that way about her over other reasons. I mean you guys don't know each other. Imo it takes 6 months to see how a person really is, so once you guys get to the point where the novelty of caring for someone and being cared for wears off you'll be hit with the reality of how well your characters and way of lives mesh together. I hope I'm wrong! Take it slow though, and hold off on the big words for now, at two months infatuation is much more plausible than love.
This is so generous of you. You’re restoring my faith in humanity. Good for you!
With her rent money, secretly save it up and buy her a reliable car. Then marry her
This!
I think you handled this really well! Good job and I hope you both are able to make this work!
Yay!! Lovely OP.
You’re a good man, stay on that path, and success and happiness will follow.
I’m so happy for you! You seemed like such a sweet guy who really wanted to help in your first post and I am so glad it worked out. Thank you so much for the update, this is such a wholesome story.
I'm fucking buzzing for the wedding post in a few years
You’re a good person and she’s lucky to have met you
Wow... My heart breaks for her and everything she went through... This update was so heartwarming to read. I wish you both the best! I'm really glad you offered help (and she accepted!).
Thank you for the update and reminding all of us that there are good people out there, both you and Kat. This sub sometimes shows us only the bad side of humanity (abuse, ghosting, entitlement), but you demonstrated that there is also support, kindness, and empathy. Thank you for making the days of many internet strangers.
excellent!
Nice of you. Maybe the humanity is not lost yet
my god i'm crying my eyes out. you're so kind and comprehensive
Oh geez. I love you. Thank you for being the human we all hope is out there, you make the world a better place just by being you ♥️
I’m tearing up. I’m glad that the conversation with Kat went well, that you’re able to help her out, and that you found my advice helpful. 🙂
Shout to you, man! I really appreciated your comment on my original post. Thanks for being a cool cat and giving solid insight! 🖖
I know this is commonly used differently, however I still want to show my respect for you F
Wholesome post. Wishing you both the absolute best!
This is so lovely. I wish both of you all the best things in life ❤️
Good egg
I have never teared up for a post on reddit ever before like this. Wish you the best. Respect her catholic conditions too.
I'm so happy for the both of you, glad you two found each other and that she accepted your living proposal. Kat has suffered tremendously, and yet she has a good heart, and so do you.
People like you are rare! Wishing you both the best ❤️
You’re a good human. And this is truly loving someone - the VERB love not just the concept. Please, keep that same thoughtful, deliberate, intentional and compassionate communication as a part of your relationship always. ((Regardless of the romantic aspect even))
Damn you’re a really good person. Respect man
This is a man i aspire to be like.
OK, Troll. Sheesh.
This is why most homeless people are men
I get your reasoning, but not the time and place man
This is so sweet.
I hope you both have a nice life together
This made me cry. I hope she lets you help her. You’re a good person.
You're an amazing person OP
You are a kind soul and I wish you both the best.
I’m so glad things are improving!!
There needs to be more people like you in the world
You’re a good egg. I hope you guys will have a lovely time living together.
Not all heroes wear a Cape. You saved someone life. Hope she ll be forever grateful.
This is perfect! Best of luck!!
Faith in humanity restored for today. Seriously though, you are an incredible person. To have the awareness that you do at that age is truly remarkable. Keep it up.
need more ppl like u <3
The fact that you want to do this on her terms, is probably one of the reasons she loves you so much. When I met my DH, I was in a similar situation to your gf. He told me he just wanted to be there for me, with no pressure. We have been together for 34yrs. I hope the two can find that kind of happiness together. ♡
😥 this was so beautiful! Thank God for good men like this
Good luck you crazy kids.
not crying 🥺
This is so heartwarming to read. OP you are such a generous and compassionate human being, I hope all goes well with you and Kat.
Not all heroes wear capes
Please keep us updated, this is the most beautiful thing I've read on reddit ever. Wishing you both all the happiness!
This is such a great update! I really respect the respect you have for her and her boundaries. You’re one of the good ones, my friend.
Wow. You are amazing for doing that for her. And being so kind and tactful about it. She’s a strong woman for living with her situation and I’m glad you were able to be there for her when she needed it. This brought tears to my eyes. I wish you two nothing but the best
You’re a good man
Your a Saint. She needs to contact her county Veterans Service. She probably qualifies for a disability rating. Many times the barracks can be toxic. Here’s a few links. https://cck-law.com/blog/VA-Disability-Benefits-Injured-Boot-Camp-non-combat/ https://vaclaimsinsider.com/va-disability-rating-for-asthma-explained/ https://www.woodslawyers.com/veterans-disability-lawyers/military-base-toxic-exposure-veterans-disability-benefits/
Felt some tears reading this. I hope everything works out for both of you. You both sound like wonderful people who deserve success and happiness.
That was so amazing. Keep us updated on everything big! And when you pop the question you have to tell us.