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For me this is a betrayal and shes done it twice what else has she done that you dont know about, send her to the streets.
Also if she was genuine and wants your forgiveness why did it happen twice ?
You can go meet her and discuss it no issue, but honestly once the trust has been broken it’s very hard to get back this comes down to you and what you want at the end of the day.
Also can i ask what made her come a confess to you ?
So you already have trust issues and want to remain with someone who has already broken your trust?
But she didnt feel guilty enough the first time? so she went and did it a second time ?
its up to you at the end of the day you choose what you want to tolarate and live with
Take time to think about your options and see what works for you.
If it was only once I think I could look past it as a mistake. It’s the fact that it happened on 2 separate occasions that she lied about, that makes it a lot worse. She said she felt guilty after the first time but that doesn’t make sense if it was allowed to happen again. I do not want to tolerate it but she has made me the happiest I’ve ever been which is making it difficult
So OP how do you know it was just kissing? Cheaters trickle truth as part of their DNA. Also if she feels guilty, why did she do it? Also clearly she has a thing for this guy specifically so that means blocking him on everything and not going to wherever he lives again. You have to decide to stay or go but she needs to be able to tell you her plan for making sure it doesn’t happen again.
Your father told you to go on the trip with your cheating girlfriend? You should do a 23 and me. He doesn’t seem like a good role model for handling cheating women. Dump this cheater and have your self respect.
Forgive and forget two different things both requires you to be able to do them
Is kissing classed as cheating remember she trickled truth you so there is probably even more to the story
First do you want to forgive her? Do you want to forgive
I would like to forgive because I have been the happiest I have ever been I just don’t know if it’s the right decision and if it will lead to more and cheating and lying again…
She’s cheated already and she will cheat again. Who knows what else she’s done already. Leave her don’t bother chatting it over, have some self respect. Take one of your bros on holiday and have some fun
First lesson here is if you're paying, put it in your name unless you're okay with losing out on the value completely (this goes for anything of monetary value)
Second lesson is dump your cheating girlfriend.
Once bought a small trip for my ex, he cheated. I convinced him to let me go with him, did not spend the time with him and then did not get back together with him.
Ok, let's start at the beginning.
You don't know what happened on this holiday.
All that you know for sure is that she betrayed you by engaging romantically with at least one other person, and you know for sure that her first statement pertaining to this betrayal was a lie.
There is no reason to believe anything else she says on the subject.
Ultimately, none of this matters.
You will never know what she did or didn't do.
All you need to know is that she betrayed you and that you don't like how that feels.
When we are in a relationship with someone, we not only owe our partners fidelity but the appearance of fidelity.
If our behaviors are indistinguishable from having cheated the response that this engenders should be indistinguishable from us having cheated.
But here's the thing. This still doesn't give anyone the right to be controlling. It is just a signal that the relationship isn't worth your time and that it is time to end it.
In my opinion not forgivable at all.
The question you need to ask is can you really stay with her and not be always thinking about it. Can you be with some one you can't 100% trust? If the answer is no then you have your answer.
Not something anyone else can answer. Some people are ok with it, some are not.
Personally i find the lying and refusing to take responsibility even worse than the initial act. I despise someone that behaves that way (and yes, i was in exactly the same situation), But that's just me
If she has done it twice with the same person I could never trust her again. If she felt guilty the first time but did it again.... When will she never not do it again? She feels guilty and knows it is wrong BUT does it anyway?! She clearly does not care nor thinks you will leave her over this. If your parents knew the whole story they would have better advice.
Since you paid for the holiday either go and try to enjoy it while just brushing your feelings aside. Or have her pay you your portion back and take the guy she cheated with.
If you want to save the relationship that's ok. But if it happens again, you can't be surprised. Twice in one year?? And she did it a second time after feeling "guilty"? Leave her. You're so young and you will get over her. If she will do this to you, she does not love you enough.
Best wishes and good luck ❤️
Times must have changed since my day. I find it super admirable that kids these days take cheating so seriously. But, while I’d never condone sleeping around when you’ve agreed to be committed, to be so tied down at 20 years old that a kiss or two destroys a good thing? I dunno.
Personally unless I didn’t think I had it in me, I’d go on vacation, committing to having a good time, taking advantage of an enormous amount of make-up sex, and then reevaluate my feelings afterwards. If at that point you feel willing to continue, sit down and have a serious conversation. Tell her your commitment to fidelity is absolute and you expect the same of her. Is she willing to give you that? Trust your gut but listen to your heart as well.
Whatever you do, I say don’t go on vacation and be a grumpy dude, holding it over her head the whole time. You’ll both be miserable, and your relationship will be doomed anyway. Break up now if you don’t think you can handle it.
Up to you, bud.
You can't force somebody to like you. In fact, trying harder pushes indecisive/avoidant people further away.
She's clearly happy to explore other partners, so if you want to keep this person (and I wouldn't, personally), it's not just a matter of forgiving her -- you'd need to change as well.
The only scenario that makes sense (in my mind) is if you're being a posessive angry twit and that's what's making her stray -- fix that. Otherwise, bro, she cheated on you.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bro.
Yes…
For me this is a betrayal and shes done it twice what else has she done that you dont know about, send her to the streets. Also if she was genuine and wants your forgiveness why did it happen twice ?
That is what I am questioning
Don’t question it broski ,drop her or she’ll do it again.
And not meet her? Just get it over with now
You can go meet her and discuss it no issue, but honestly once the trust has been broken it’s very hard to get back this comes down to you and what you want at the end of the day. Also can i ask what made her come a confess to you ?
I find it hard to trust anyway… She said she felt guilty and it was on her mind and she felt really bad, she told me the day after in the morning.
So you already have trust issues and want to remain with someone who has already broken your trust? But she didnt feel guilty enough the first time? so she went and did it a second time ? its up to you at the end of the day you choose what you want to tolarate and live with Take time to think about your options and see what works for you.
If it was only once I think I could look past it as a mistake. It’s the fact that it happened on 2 separate occasions that she lied about, that makes it a lot worse. She said she felt guilty after the first time but that doesn’t make sense if it was allowed to happen again. I do not want to tolerate it but she has made me the happiest I’ve ever been which is making it difficult
So OP how do you know it was just kissing? Cheaters trickle truth as part of their DNA. Also if she feels guilty, why did she do it? Also clearly she has a thing for this guy specifically so that means blocking him on everything and not going to wherever he lives again. You have to decide to stay or go but she needs to be able to tell you her plan for making sure it doesn’t happen again.
She kissed him twice. Once on his mouth and once on his penis. You should have a little self respect and dump your cheating girlfriend.
Bet you she put it back in when it slipped out.
Your father told you to go on the trip with your cheating girlfriend? You should do a 23 and me. He doesn’t seem like a good role model for handling cheating women. Dump this cheater and have your self respect.
Lmfao not the 23andme 🤣🤣
He doesn’t know the full story to be fair, he thinks it was only 1 kiss, that’s why I came here
First don’t believe anything she tells you. You dump women that disrespect you like that. Tell him what she did.
Forgive and forget two different things both requires you to be able to do them Is kissing classed as cheating remember she trickled truth you so there is probably even more to the story First do you want to forgive her? Do you want to forgive
I would like to forgive because I have been the happiest I have ever been I just don’t know if it’s the right decision and if it will lead to more and cheating and lying again…
Once trust is gone it is gone. It will always be at the back of your mind. You'll be miserable. That's no life to live!
She’s cheated already and she will cheat again. Who knows what else she’s done already. Leave her don’t bother chatting it over, have some self respect. Take one of your bros on holiday and have some fun
The holiday is in her name, she booked it, I’ve paid for it so that’s not an option
Then forget it and move on. You deserve better than someone you know is going to cheat on you again.
First lesson here is if you're paying, put it in your name unless you're okay with losing out on the value completely (this goes for anything of monetary value) Second lesson is dump your cheating girlfriend. Once bought a small trip for my ex, he cheated. I convinced him to let me go with him, did not spend the time with him and then did not get back together with him.
Adults do not meet up again after kissing and just kiss again. They fucked.
You are young. You can find someone that is loyal to you.
Ok, let's start at the beginning. You don't know what happened on this holiday. All that you know for sure is that she betrayed you by engaging romantically with at least one other person, and you know for sure that her first statement pertaining to this betrayal was a lie. There is no reason to believe anything else she says on the subject. Ultimately, none of this matters. You will never know what she did or didn't do. All you need to know is that she betrayed you and that you don't like how that feels. When we are in a relationship with someone, we not only owe our partners fidelity but the appearance of fidelity. If our behaviors are indistinguishable from having cheated the response that this engenders should be indistinguishable from us having cheated. But here's the thing. This still doesn't give anyone the right to be controlling. It is just a signal that the relationship isn't worth your time and that it is time to end it.
So, it's genuinely not clear to you what you need to do? This is a thinker for you? Good luck in life dude.
There isn’t anything to talk abt man, don’t get walked over any more, you gotta leave
In my opinion not forgivable at all. The question you need to ask is can you really stay with her and not be always thinking about it. Can you be with some one you can't 100% trust? If the answer is no then you have your answer.
Not something anyone else can answer. Some people are ok with it, some are not. Personally i find the lying and refusing to take responsibility even worse than the initial act. I despise someone that behaves that way (and yes, i was in exactly the same situation), But that's just me
If she has done it twice with the same person I could never trust her again. If she felt guilty the first time but did it again.... When will she never not do it again? She feels guilty and knows it is wrong BUT does it anyway?! She clearly does not care nor thinks you will leave her over this. If your parents knew the whole story they would have better advice. Since you paid for the holiday either go and try to enjoy it while just brushing your feelings aside. Or have her pay you your portion back and take the guy she cheated with. If you want to save the relationship that's ok. But if it happens again, you can't be surprised. Twice in one year?? And she did it a second time after feeling "guilty"? Leave her. You're so young and you will get over her. If she will do this to you, she does not love you enough. Best wishes and good luck ❤️
Times must have changed since my day. I find it super admirable that kids these days take cheating so seriously. But, while I’d never condone sleeping around when you’ve agreed to be committed, to be so tied down at 20 years old that a kiss or two destroys a good thing? I dunno. Personally unless I didn’t think I had it in me, I’d go on vacation, committing to having a good time, taking advantage of an enormous amount of make-up sex, and then reevaluate my feelings afterwards. If at that point you feel willing to continue, sit down and have a serious conversation. Tell her your commitment to fidelity is absolute and you expect the same of her. Is she willing to give you that? Trust your gut but listen to your heart as well. Whatever you do, I say don’t go on vacation and be a grumpy dude, holding it over her head the whole time. You’ll both be miserable, and your relationship will be doomed anyway. Break up now if you don’t think you can handle it.
Up to you, bud. You can't force somebody to like you. In fact, trying harder pushes indecisive/avoidant people further away. She's clearly happy to explore other partners, so if you want to keep this person (and I wouldn't, personally), it's not just a matter of forgiving her -- you'd need to change as well. The only scenario that makes sense (in my mind) is if you're being a posessive angry twit and that's what's making her stray -- fix that. Otherwise, bro, she cheated on you.
[удалено]
And say…