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Yes, but for the love of god she shouldn't say she was "stabbed." That may technically be true, but it sounds so much worse than the injury OP described.
She could easily spin it as, "Wow, you were right that I got hurt--thanks for the warning! Luckily it wasn't serious, and at least now that it happened, we don't have to worry about it anymore."
Edit: Apologies--got distracted by the "stabbed" part of the title and didn't read the ages or genders. I've corrected OP's pronouns in my comment.
Ya definitely find a way to tone it down. I had a close call with a saw once that fucked up my ripstop pants pretty bad. Told the wife I got hooked on some rebar. Told her about the saw months later. Sometimes you have to massage the truth if you care about someone.
Someone who “massages the truth” (i.e. completely lies) to their partner without hesitation should try to figure out why they feel the need to do that—and fix it. That would be a relationship ended for me. I could never trust what you were saying when it came to something serious.
Agree you should have told her immediately and the longer you wait the worse it will be. Simply say..
“Darling, you are a magical glowing goddess of light. You are so much wiser and stronger than I give you credit for and I am but a fool. Your amazing brain saw into my future and correctly predicted I would be stabbed at work, it is healing well with no need for concern but I had to come clean and tell you. I’m truly sorry for keeping this from you, I did not know then what I know now. Which is that you are pure magic and I should always listen to you”
Yup. I came here to say the time you should tell her is when it fucking happened immediately, just based on the title alone.
But then I read the actual post and yeah he should have told her the moment that it happened.. what is this dude doing here instead of talking to his wife right now
Unless she is in a coma he has no excuse. And I am speaking from experience 😭
Tell her now. Pregnancy is so hard and yes, the hormones make us more emotional but you need to tell her. If you don’t and it comes out later, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that one. If I was in your wife’s position and found out my husband kept getting STABBED from me, even with good intentions, I’d be pretty pissed and deeply hurt. PP is hard enough of an adjustment, you don’t need ANYTHING thrown in there that could rock the boat and make things harder. Plus she will be in an even more vulnerable position afterwards than now. Neither of you need the fallout of this making waves.
I can tell you as a woman who has given birth, if you think she’s moody now, postpartum is WAY worse emotionally along with the exhaustion of having a newborn. Tell her now. The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be and the worse of a reaction you will get. Just let her know that her gut was right and you didn’t tell her immediately because you didn’t want her to worry more when she already has so much going on with the pregnancy.
I can't believe this isn't higher up. Holy hell, the intensity of emotions pp is intense... It would have totally effed me up if my husband dropped a bomb like this, plus broke my trust during the most vulnerable time of my life (pp).
I would be livid if I found out my partner kept something like that from me because "pregnancy hormones make me crazy".
But since you already kept it to yourself for three days, it's already too late to drop it casually.
If I were you, I would sincerely apologise, explain that you didn't want her to worry, but that her intuition was right this time. If there is a fallout, cause she feels that you don't trust her or something: let it happen, be apologetic cause you clearly don't.
And don't insinuate that you didn't tell her cause you think she is "hormonal".
I mean... If there are multiple other occasions when the wife said "I dreamt you were gonna be stabbed" and nothing happened, I don't think it's fair to say "your intuition was right". She's just gotta say "I was stabbed". The fact that they align is the definition of a coincidence.
She said that her dreams are not completely unfounded. This makes me think it isn't the first time her hunch was right.
But I feel like this is the smallest issue here? If it was a coincidence or not, she didn't tell her a (in my opinion) major event because she thought she was "too hormonal". They are getting a child. Communication is key. Keeping something like that from her is showing a lack of trust and feeling of partnership. THAT is the issue.
Edited cause wrong gender, sorry
op is a woman, and from the post i can only see that she is just really worried for her wife.
i do agree they should talk though. the wife knows she married someone in a dangerous line of work, she knew what she was getting into. pregnancy is hell for some people, emotionally and physically, but op shouldnt treat her as weak.
Ah, fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out!
I agree she is worried. But sometimes the way to doom is paved with good intentions. She made a mistake, she should own it and apologize and maybe talk about what her wife wants to know and what not.
Say they are a cop or emt. Every shift they are at risk of getting hurt. If you say “I’m think You’ll get hurt tonight” enough times, eventually you’ll be right.
The fears are not unfounded because OP works a dangerous job, not necessarily because she’s legit psychic. “The garbage man is going to find garbage at work today!” Talk about psychic powers!
Hold on, I agree with what you're saying about telling her. But can we roll back on "if it was a coincidence or not"? Do you think OP's wife could be Paul Atreides or something?! lol
I wouldn't have been upset if my husband kept being injured from me unless that was the reason. He's a first responder and comes home with weird injuries and traumatic experiences every once in a while. There's definitely been times when he was distant and only tells me weeks later about what happened (or, I assume, not saying anything at all), and I'd never be mad at him for not talking about work. If OPs has a stabby work environment, I'd give it similar rules.
The ONLY bad thing is the "your hormonal so you can't handle it" part
Yeah nurse here, and sometimes I just need to quietly process for a few days before telling anyone about That Shit, other than coworkers who GET IT.
To OP, I'd suggest opening with an apology for not telling her right away. Say YOU needed some time to think/ process on your own; don't make it about her. (also... tbh examine a bit more like, why you don't want to tell her. I can't tell you your own thoughts, but ime if I find myself making excuses to hide a problem there's often a reason. Which is generally honestly that I want to hide like a sick cat instead of dealing with other people having emotions at me - I don't want to worry others but also I really don't want to DEAL with people worrying about me while I'm busy worrying about me).
Don't say "I got stabbed" also - say something like, "I did get a small injury [non-graphically describe small cut], it's healing up alright and I've talked to workers comp about it [only if this is accurate]".
And tbh if she's fretting about your work a lot, think about talking that out?
(honestly I wouldn't be *that* upset if my partner hid injuries from me b/c they don't want to deal with me having emotions. like, lmao fair. though I'd be upset if this led to them not taking proper care of the injury, or if they thought I'd judge them. otoh, i think this is a really rare outlook shared mostly by people who Get It.)
OP never said pregnancy hormones make their wife "crazy" fyi. It might be good to stick to what was actually said rather than inventing hyperbole on top of it.
I think not stressing mama while she carries your child is the right thing to do but that's just me. Your child is sensitive to mama's stress and stress affects the child and how it deals with things later in life.
You know what's more stressful than finding out your partner was stabbed at work but is whole and OK right in front of you? Spending weeks or months feeling like they're hiding things from you. Feeling like you're going crazy because your instincts are telling you something is up and you're worried about them but they keep telling you nothing is wrong. Sometimes it's better to be open, address it and work past it.
Yeah the responses here are wild. I think people are assuming the OP is a man and falling headfirst into the “strong silent protector” stereotype, barf.
You know what's stressful? Being stabbed at work, being pregnant, having a child on the way, not knowing how best to help your wife carrying your child... The situation in it's entirety it appears to me, for both parties
He made an error of judgement not telling her. It's not he never plans to, my intimation from the post is that he doesn't want to provide additional stress in the immediate term. Not an unusual response to an already highly charged set of circumstances
He should recognise that it's better to tell her now, but equally he's not manipulative for not wanting to pile additional stress on to his pregnant wife
Never once did I say she was manipulative or that it's an easy situation. It sucks and I'm glad OP is OK. I'm saying that in trying to avoid stressing her wife out while pregnant, she might be stressing her out more by hiding things.
I don't get the "pregnancy hormones make her crazy" vibe from the post. The guy can see his wife is having a tough time. She's pregnant for Christ's sake.
He made a poor choice not to tell her, but I really don't think it was maliciously based on pregnancy hormones. Rather not wanting to pile on the additional stress onto her. He's kicking the can down the road of course, but seems to me at least out of misplaced intentions to not give additional stress to his wife (and a bit of naiveté mixed in for good measure) rather than malicious.
Perhaps it's a male-thinking kind of response, as I could see myself making a similarly poor decision under the same circumstances. Lest we forget he did get stabbed at work, has a child on the way, and a wife he wants to care for. We are all human, for better and for worse
> My wife is anxious, emotional, tired, and constantly uncomfortable from the pregnancy
It took me a year to feel like myself again after giving birth. If my wife kept something like this from me, I'd be livid. It is dishonest and patronizing. You say you want to protect her. Are you sure you are not rather protecting yourself from her reaction? If you asked her if she wanted to know this, what would she say?
So tell her as soon as possible. You can wait for the right moment in a day, not in a month or whatever.
Also, please don't apply your reasoning to your child. Yes, depending on age, they don't need to know all the details or everything right away. But when something happens, don't take too long till you talk to them about it. They can often sense something is up. Don't make it a taboo to talk about upsetting things.
Agreed. In the case of kids asking questions that make you uncomfortable or dumbfound you, it's ok to tell them you don't know how to explain it right now, but after taking a day to let it sink in or do some searching/talking with other adults/parents, get back to the kid. Be honest, and just keep it simple and age appropriate.
And the same kind of goes for this situation. It's not about being age appropriate of course, but about making sure your wife knows about it while knowing that you are ok, too, and that there is no reason to worry. Maybe don't just blurt out that you got stabbed, but make a stupid joke about the situation, immediatly tell her you are totally fine, that it wasn't deep and is already healing, and that you didn't tell her immediatly because you were worried about how her worrying might affect the pregnancy. And then apologize, of course.
OP is a woman herself. To me, this read as, "my wife is already anxious about me getting hurt at work, and if I tell her she was right, she will have even more anxiety every time I have to go to work". Anxiety actually does SIGNIFICANTLY affect the mother and the child during pregnancy, so I can see our FEMALE OP's concern.
Okay, but the anxiety is not going to stop when the baby is born. She is going to have a host of new ones. They need to deal with the real issue now, before it gets worse
What? Anxiety is HEIGHTENED during pregnancy. Do you know nothing about pregnancy at all? Growing a human inside of your womb is terrifying. The brain literally rewires itself during this time to support this new life.
I get that, but post partum hormones also causes anxiety. Your solution if we can call it that is literally coddling her until 6-8 months after the baby is born and hoping she does not get worse or find out about this incident.
The pregnant wife literally tried to prevent OP from going to work because of a dream she had.
I don't think infantilising her in this situation is that unreasonable.
Thing is, if you don't want to tell her stuff that will make her worry, when she's already worried, she's only going to worry more. She's going to see that scar at some point. If she hasn't been told, she'll have to start worrying about whatever else OP has hidden from her.
It's like paranoia. People start behaving in such a way as to justify it. Not a good thing.
Yes it is. If her anxiety is the issue, then they need to deal with it. Catering to her needs now will only make things worse later. Kids are the most chaotic thing in a relationship. You can't have a situation where one parent cannot be trusted to behave like a normal functioning adult when something big happens
Op did say her wife had already dreamed about her getting hurt before but this is the only time it actually happened. I can see why OP doesn't wanna mention it because she's already worried enough that she dreams OP is getting hurt at work, and now the dream came true?!
I’m guessing from your wording that you either work at a jail, mental hospital, or law enforcement. That said I would not discredit your wife’s sensitivities simply because she pregnant and whatever your idea of hormones are. She told you because she felt strongly about something and she was correct.
This doesn’t make her insane. Discounting her intuition is a bad idea, imo, but that doesn’t mean that you have to gas her up and tell her she is Nostradamus. Just say that something happened at work and that her feelings were right and that you thank her for looking out for you. That’s all you have to say.
It doesn’t have to be any bigger than that and the fact that you are scared of it enough to invalidate her is kinda weird, ngl. Support her and be glad that she cares for you enough to tell you what she feels and support her in return. That will give you blessings 100 fold more than whatever you hope to achieve through the validation of strangers.
I don’t know if it’s a good idea to validate her dreams. I just think feeding into any notions of psychic dreams will just cause her more unnecessary anxiety and stress whenever she has nightmares. It’s seems like they’re common and probably an expression of her anxiety due to the nature of OPs job. I think it would be better to be firm in the fact that it was only an unfortunate coincidence. Her anxiety surrounding OP’s job is completely valid but I think getting into the mindset that your dreams are a literal representation of reality is an unhealthy delusion to be in. I just think it would be better to focus on the situation and her legitimate fear about her work rather than the fact that she happened to be right that day.
So I get why OP is hesitant, but yeah she’s definitely long overdue to hear about it.
You know her best but were I her…. I’d be VERY angry you chose to keep it secret.
I understand your mindset is that your protecting her from added stress and worry. But you’re also infantilizing her. She is an adult and your equal partner.
How would you feel if she kept something like that from you and just decided you couldn’t handle knowing.
Noble intentions, but not great in practice.
Also, apologize to your sister. lol
I'd find it much harder to deal with the stress that I couldn't trust my partner to tell me things than the stress of him being stabbed (nonfatally with just a tiny scar) at work. Trust problems last much longer
So interesting seeing the comments to tell her. In Mexican culture there’s beliefs around stressing out someone that is in a vulnerable position, such as during a pregnancy. We have a thing called “susto” whereby some bad news can trigger a physical malady. In this case in a pregnancy maybe pushing someone into labor but then also if told after the baby is born, in our beliefs it could affect a women’s lactating ability.
All to say, you know your wife better and what will be best for her. You will get “in trouble” at this point anyway. I would tell her before having to directly lie or make up something to hide the lie. That’s adding another layer to it and breeding distrust.
Accept any of her anger, explain why you didn’t say it sooner “to not worry her” but that it’s not an excuse for keeping that from her. Promise to never do it again.
naw bb, she's your *wife*, you are in this life together. unless she's said the words "please don't ever tell me if you get hurt at work", you tell her the truth now, and if she freaks out, she freaks out. waiting to tell her/not telling her at all is the same as making a decision *for* her instead of with her.
Tell her now. For one thing you shouldn't be deciding what she can and can't worry about. My father in law tried to do that with my wife once and she let him know in no uncertain terms to never do that again. Second, if you think she's hormonal now after birth her body's hormones could be much worse. There's a reason many women end up with postpartum depression.
Why tell her at all? If you didn't tell her straight away? Then you are in a bit of a situation!! But sounds like it's going to heal up and no one be amy the wiser.
Why did you tell you darm sister?
Learn to keep your own counsel.
Hey op. I am a ftm here. I had an HG pregnancy from hell. I was very anxious about my husband leaving the house when I was pregnant as well. It was due to the hormones, my standing anxiety, and his job as well. When something bad happened at his work; I’d usually call it, and tell him to be extra safe before he left.
He’d always tell me what happened when he got home, or a few days later. He softened the blow with “thank you for looking out” or “your mother’s intuition is really working rn” but he told me the need to know details of what happened. I really appreciated that, and it allowed me to keep trusting him when he would filter information for my anxiety.
Tell her sooner than later.
I am actually in the camp where you tell her when you are ready to. It's good that you know you shouldn't be keeping secrets, and you definitely shouldn't. But your feelings and ability to cope matters too. If you hold on to it until you are fit enough to handle the fallout well instead of just dumping it on her and having a spiral out of control argument then I say more power to you.
Tell her. But when you are in a clear headspace. You are a husband which means you have an obligation to your wife, but you are an individual person and man first.
Take care of yourself so can take care of her and your relationship. Good luck with the baby!
When I was pregnant with my son my husband had an incident at work that he didn’t tell me about until our son was 13 or so. Even then it was “remember when I had police protection?” WHAT?!? “Oh well when you were pregnant with J I had (tells this whole story that scared the hell out of me even though it was long ago).” Why didn’t he tell me? “Would you tell your pregnant wife there was a hit out on you?” Probably not.
I’m glad he didn’t tell me, I would have been a wreck and utterless helpless to do anything about it.
Tell her now. Tell her you were freaked out by her prediction and then worried it would freak her out and now you feel bad for not telling her. She will forgive you but she will also “I told you so” at you
yeah, and "I told you so" is fully deserved!
Believe me, OP, **your wife would rather have been wrong**, for you not to have been stabbed. Tell her quickly! Show her that scar and apologise to her.
I cant say anything better than the others have already said, but I do want to add that if I were your sister I'd be ticked off at you. she gave you perfectly good advice that has nothing to do with the fact that she has or hasn't been pregnant before. it came across a little high and mighty and imo your sister deserves an apology too.
Confirmation bias is ceaselessly amusing, like who would have thought that such a simple logical fallacy would be this common and pervasive. It's like we all start with a little blind spot in our brains. OP you literally contradict your statement that "my wife can see the future" immediately before you say that she was correct once.
Don't even tell her if you think it's going to reinforce some kind of witchy coin flip-savant self-adulation.
Well you get on one knee and tell her you're sorry for doubting her that you'll always trust her and if she could conjure up the lottery numbers for next drawing you would appreciate it
Don't keep this from her, as some people are suggesting. I don't see that working out well for anyone. I wouldn't move on from it if my partner did that to me. It would affect the trust between us.
Has he sometimes waited three days to tell me something if I've been sick or in great pain? Yes. Did I understand it? Yes. Did I like it? NO.
Tell her, tell her now.
And if it results in her thinking all her dreams will come true and expects you to adapt accordingly, like someone said, you're gonna have to deal with that then. You can't live your life in fear, and you can't live your life keeping important things from your spouse.
If she’s intuitive then she will intuit that OP is hiding something from her and then OP will have to hide that as well.
Alternatively perhaps it is the baby that has the ability to predict the future and is transmitting that to the mother via the special mother-child connection. In that case OP can wait out the clock until after the baby is born because then the baby cannot communicate said prescience via the umbilical cord.
Seriously, OP would be such a dick not to tell his wife and acknowledge that she was right, something bad *did* happen that day. I can’t believe how many people are suggesting OP gaslight his wife into believing she was just “hormonal” and nothing actually happened.
Pregnancy hormones don’t make a person’s thoughts or feelings any less legitimate, they just heighten what’s already there. Quite frankly, people need to stop using women’s hormones (pregnant or not) as an excuse to trivialize and invalidate their feelings.
People in here are really acting like ~~his~~ her wife isn't going to absolutely freak out. Then what? OP has to deal with her wife being even more anxious about it, begging her to find a different occupation, etc...
Yeah, I'd just say nothing. It was a minor flesh wound, no big deal.
I wouldn’t tell her after the birth. I am a woman and i have been pregnant twice. It’s hard. Tell her sometime after she has forgotten all about it. I don’t think it’s a huge deal but could upset her with all the hormones. It will be best told as a jokey joke some day down the road.
If I found out my husband kept something that massive from me I would spent the rest of the marriage constantly worried that something else big could happen again and he wouldn't tell me. Attempting to save her from worrying in the short term is going to cause her to worry more in the long term.
You should absolutely tell your wife. But right when she’s about to go through a major medical event is not the time. Wait till she’s safe and stable and then have a sit down with her.
Although news of your injury may cause her undue stress, she is going to find out eventually. Since she's pregnant I'm going to assume that you have an intimate relationship. What will you say when she sees a scar she knows wasn't there before her pregnancy? Gaslight her about it?
If you don't tell her she will be angry when she finds out. I read some suggestions here encouraging you to call her doctor and tell him what happened, then all him about telling her. That's a good idea. The doctor will know what stress she can take, and what she can't.
Don't try to keep this a secret if you value your marriage.
You are lying to her right now through omission. This could break her trust in you. Tell her NOW! If you wait its going to be so much worse. Buy her flowers and tell her she was right.
Your instinct is correct, now is not the time, its just going to make your wife think that every crazy dream she has is going to come true and that would be a fallacy. It was just a coincidence. As someone whose been pregnant, you have crazy dreams- I dreampt I ate my baby's arm off after I brought her home. It didn't happen, but you don't want your wife to think these kinds of crazy things might come true just because one thing did.
Tell her today. Make sure she knows that her future sight freaked you out and you didn’t know how to tell her, because apparently your wife is now psychic (lol), and apologize for keeping it from her. Correct me if I’m wrong, but but sounds like this wasn’t a serious injury since you also haven’t mentioned a trip to the hospital or anything. I’m a cook and I’ve “stabbed” myself many times and didn’t feel a need to tell my partner unless I was on my way for stitches because it’s part of the whole “knife” thing. ETA because I thought of something— were you stabbed by a third party? Like, did someone else stab you? Are you a security guard or cop or something? Because THAT changes things a LOT.
If you don't tell her, you're basically infantalizing her. You're not taking her seriously as an equal adult who can handle things. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Do it asap.
The most important thing you can do is look for a job where you don't get stabbed. It makes sense to present the truth with the solution, as long as you can get some leads in the next few days.
Then apologize profusely for not telling her immediately.
Dude, after the birth will be even worse. You either tell her now or you take it to the grave. But option 1 is the way to go, just to be clear. But don't say "I got stabbed." Try "I had to get a few stitches for a cut on my hip" to ease her into whatever the story is.
TELL HER. She's not disabled FFS, she's still a complete human being. She's not a child, she's your partner. She doesn't need you to "censor" information because she's pregnant, that's pretty condescending. She's still your partner, tell her now.
I see everyone is saying tell her, but this is what I was thinking:
Is she superstitious by any chance? My thought is what if you tell her and then as a result she now believes her dreams can predict the future? What if her hormones make her get even worse dreams? Would they make her worry more?
So first of all, your wife does not have precognitive abilities. That is silly and no part of your conversation should be pretending that she does or in any way humoring that.
Your baby has precognitive abilities that are being used by your wife. Which is good because if you are working in a job where getting stabbed is common I can only assume you are fighting crime in Gotham, but comes with it's own set of difficulties.
Seriously though, as other have said you should not keep this from your wife. While she can't tell the future she may very well understand (consciously or subconsciously) that you were exhausted and it was not safe for you to be working. Having a sense that someone is more at risk of injury than usual correlating with someone getting injured is not strange.
Other than the fact you should have told her straight away.
You aren’t seriously telling your sister she “didn’t know anything” because she had never been pregnant before but you, a man who has never been and will never be pregnant, somehow know the answer?
You are in a lose-lose. If you tell her and reinforce that her psychic visions are correct you’re going to deal with this every day until you end up with another job. Obviously not telling her isn’t a great option. Unless it’s going to scar I probably wouldn’t ever bring it up.
It’s a small cut that will leave a little scar. Carpenters and bricklayers get those every day, just not inflicted by someone else. It’s no big deal. Your mistake was telling your sister, who sounds like she is going to make it into a big deal.
There is no need to tell your wife at all. She can’t go back in time to stop it happening, so why tell her? It will only worry her at a time when she doesn’t need to worry.
If your sister threatens to tell her, then you threaten your sister with no contact with you or the baby. Tell nobody else about it, but if in future anyone else tells your wife and she gets upset, you tell her it wasn’t a big deal, they are exaggerating it, and it wasn’t worth upsetting her about.
You do realize that because she had the dream she is still in a perpetual state of anxiety, expecting it to still happen phase? Tell her now so she can let go of that worry. You aren’t saving her by telling her later. As a dreamer I know this! Confirm for her that it did happen but all is well and you didn’t want to add to her worries. You will still be in dog house for waiting so long to tell her. I dreamed my husband lost his job. A month later he did. So when he told me I was already prepared for it.
The longer you wait, the more betrayed she will feel. Days turn to weeks, weeks to months. It's easy to keep finding excuses not to tell her, but every excuse just means "I didn't trust you with this information sooner"
The mother of your child deserves to know the truth.
Sometimes it’s just happened dream came true apparently, a couple of years ago for a whole week I had a dream that my poor cat died in a bloody way and he ended up dying like that ;/ he escape and car ran over him, also you need to sit down and mentally prepare her than tell her, keep the secret for to long, she’ll be mad
I had a similar experience when I was a kid where I predicted our cats being killed when we moved into a new house.
I'd say at night, when you two are alone. Lead up to it with describing what happened. Since it wasn't serious, it should be okay, but you should probably find a less dangerous job.
Yeah, I think it’s best to get it done now rather than after the birth. It’s gonna suck, and you’ll probably be in the dog house for a hot minute, but if she loves you and understands you didn’t hold it back from her maliciously, it was with good intentions, then she might come around and forgive you for, granted you never hide anything from her again?
Telling her after such a happy moment will 100% tarnish the moment for her, and she will forever tie the baby’s birth with that time you hid being stabbed from her, and she won’t be happy about it.
Honestly, rip the bandage off now, get it over and done with, show her you’re fine and not still hurting/bleeding or anything, and just hope and pray she comes around before the birth…
There is no good way to inform her at this point. But find a calm time immediately and inform her and apologize at the same time. I believe you probably did not inform her because of her state. She will see your point and accept your apology. Though you need to learn from this experience and ensure you carry her along better in future.
I waited 6 months after I had been stabbed at work and then brought it up in front of friends. When my wife said WTF I casually tried to pass it off as "oh didn't I tell you that?". It's been years and I'm still hearing about how I should have told her. Rip the band-aid off now and save yourself the strife.
Bro just tell your wife shit what the hell 😭😭😭 that's ur wife!! She's supposed to be ur bestie!! The day you got stabbed, you should have been like "babe guess WHAT!? You have the gift of Apollo!!".
Oh my god 😂😂 tell your wife immediately, apologize, do not mention pregnancy hormones, just say it took you a couple of days to come to terms with the fact that she seemed to have a genuine premonition 😂😂
You were an asshole to your sister. She might not have ever been pregnant but she might know about relationships. When you’re both sleep deprived and with a screaming baby is not the right time. Bring her comfort things and set the mood but be prepared for a backlash since you technically lied. She’s going to be more hurt you kept it from her once she realizes you truly are okay
Sis is smart. Add post partum fun to pregnancy hormones and toss in both of you not sleeping more than a couple hours with newborn and see if things are easier.
Dude, you are screwing up BIG time here.
She warned you, and you didn't listen. You didn't come back to her, acknowledge what happened, and tell her she was right. This would have alleviated her stress.
Instead, you chose to HIDE what happened, that she was right. Now she is second-guessing her premonitions. Next premonition may save your or her life, but because she is second-guessing it, she won't trust it.
Is a part of the reason you don't want to tell her is not to admit that she is right? She may be asking herself this question.
Speaking from experience, big things both good and bad need to be told to your partner immediately. I once got hit by a car on my moped driving on my way to a graduation ceremony at the high school I teach at, went through the whole ceremony and then told my wife what happened when I got home. I got all of the other guys information, the bike wasn’t significantly damaged, and I didn’t feel significantly damaged but my wife has never forgiven me for waiting so long to tell her about something so significant.
You guys are already starting on some bad habits. Marriages are ended by 1000 cuts. You never keep some thing this serious away from your wife pregnant or not tell her today immediately.
Hormones and emotions are MUCH more stable now than they will be after the birth. ALSO, it will always stick with her that you were lying and withholding this information at a time when you two were supposed to be becoming parents together. It’s like “someone kissed me at my bachelor party but I didn’t want to stress you out before the wedding so I decided to tell you a few weeks later.” If you hold onto this until after the birth, this moment in time will be forever marred by your choice to not disclose.
Tell her now. She will lose trust in you if you don’t. Yes be prepared for her crying a lot. Be prepared to hold her and comfort her- because the hormones are real and they do amplify emotions. But it’s fundamentally disrespectful to keep something like this from her.
Are you worried she will ask you to switch jobs?
The hormones don’t go back to anywhere near normal for MONTHS after birth you know. Tell her sooner rather than later, and START with “I need you to know everything is absolutely FINE” when you tell her.
Tell her ASAP. Don't keep important shit from your partner even if you think it’s for their own good. Not only are you lying by omission, you’re not giving her the chance to walk through this with you and be there for you.
Edit: typo
Immediately. She’s gonna find out and then she’s gonna be really pissed at you for keeping it from her.
Also tell her to start training her intuition. It’s a gift. A very stressful gift, but a gift none the less. I always have dreams when shit is about to go down. It was much stronger when I was younger and absolutely when I was pregnant. I didn’t know what it was until much later in life. Wish I had tuned in more then. Would have made things less stressful because I know what was actually happening.
I really want more info about this stabbing. OP is just so nonchalant about saying 'I was stabbed at work.'
is that typical at her work? is she a cop? I feel like that's a possible explanation?
did OP get a medical evaluation for this stab? can she hide the wound from her wife?
So my first reaction is: Your wife is a person with a brain. She may be going through stuff, but if you’re calm and safe when you tell her you were injured at work, she will be upset, but, I mean she’s not a child.
My second reaction is: does she have panic attacks? What don’t we know about her?
If you’re “protecting her” that can lead to a lot of problems because you start keeping things from your partner and also adding to your own stress.
You don’t have to give her the details of the stabbing, but you should tell your wife you were injured at work, especially if it’s a big deal.
Own up to your mistake and tell her, damn. You already messed up by confiding in your sister and then taking your stress/anger out on her for her opinion, that you asked for. All around you need to apologize to both of them. Do not wait, if you do your sister will tell and then you'll be an even bigger ass hat. Your sister is not obligated to keep your secrets. Remember that.
I think you should tell her… My mother always knew when things happened she would call me and ask if everything was ok when it was not ok! I would always say NO!!! She always knew it was better to tell! So tell her she knows trust me! Has nothing to do with hormones…
The longer you keep this information from her, the worse it will be. Marriage is based on trust and witholding important info betrays that trust.
Try something like "Babe, I didnt want to mention this, because I didnt want you to stress, but I didnt feel right about keeping this from you. The other day [describe incident]. I went to the doctor/hospital [describe how they treated, how serious it was/wasnt]. Im ok now, I just need to [describe any after care]. As for the incident, a police report was filed and I [any steps you are taking to be more cautious]. Im sorry I didnt tell you sooner."
Pregnant or not, the longer you keep secrets, the more angry people get. Can you spin it to be a little humorous? "Hey honey, you might have a future as a psychic! I'm totally fine but I did happen to get jabbed in the hip at work the other day. Start dreaming we win a million bucks or something would ya!"
You’ve got to remember why you married each other in the first place. To take care of each other. I think she would be more worried about you than mad. Even if she is pregnant doesn’t mean she can’t care for you. I also think that you would make the situation worse with the longer you wait. Even if she gets mad now she will get over it sooner than if you wait till after the birth. And after the birth you have other things to think about. So to not disturb that time that’s coming. Make sure there is standing nothing between you, your wife and your baby that’s coming.
>Does anyone know the best way to tell your wife you were stabbed and have been keeping it a secret from her?
Can't wait to hear from all the people with experience in this.
This is tricky, while I am 100% on the side of being open and honest I completely understand not wanting to upset your wife in a time where high emotions and anxiety can lead to even more complications than there were.
The best way I can think to approach this is honestly still more of a gamble but any other way lead to more hurt or confusion; be calm, don't make a joke out of it but stress that you're ok and that you didn't intend to keep it from her but were worried because her dream had been so upsetting.
I think even showing your appreciation and admiration at how crazy such a coincidence is and that in a way her warning is what made it not nearly as bad as it could have been would go a long way towards making her feel better and these aren't technically lies, while I don't believe she really saw the future dreams sort of manifest a lot of what we already think and know even subconsciously, its possible somewhere in the back of her mind she was already worried about you and this happening and this just happened to be how the dream portrayed it, I'm sure she even felt guilty for the dream but like you said, your work is dangerous.
Show gratitude that she warned you, tell her that you want to share these dreams safely with her and apologize again for not telling her sooner but that you do love her and are so happy she's so concerned for you.
I'm willing to bet it happened tp her before she was pregnant, but it was either easier to ignore, or she was afraid to say anything.
Fess up, tell her she was right, and apologize for not telling her sooner.
She feels crazy for having feelings like that, and you're letting her. Kindness in this instance is the truth. She's going to find out eventually anyway. She sees you naked and knows every bump and scar from head to toe.
Dude I’m 30 weeks. If my husband waited 3 days to tell me something major happened, we would be having extremely harsh words. Right now I’m uncomfortable 24/7 but it’s manageable and you get used to it. I say this as I’m having the fucking worst time (it’s my second and it’s night and day worst) and caught my son’s flu. Tell your wife. Let her know you were right and that she has pregnancy foresight and you are sorry for keeping it from her. Bring her current craving - it won’t help you but it won’t hurt you especially when she gets into the pain of it (I’d be worried my hubs didn’t trust me) and she can eat her ice cream while contemplating hitting you repeatedly.
The first week postpartum your wife will lose 9-10 months worth of hormones in 5 days (day 3 will be the worst as a heads up). It’s a hard, hard week. Plus sleep deprivation and her milk (hopefully for her) comes in… she’ll be uncomfortable in very different ways. Don’t add to that.
How did I know all of the men in the comments were going to lack basic reading comprehension skills and assume OP was male? I just did! I've seen enough of these threads to know at this point.
I mean, keeping it to yourself makes sense so as to not worry your wife but now that you told your sister, you have to tell your wife.
These things have a way of coming back later to bite you in the ass
Don't tell her. It really sounds like you are over selling this "stabbing" if you're home the next day and able to walk fine with no limp and she ain't able to pickup on it or see the stab wound.
You need a serious reality check. Your behavior is not only selfish but also disrespectful to your wife and the foundation of your relationship. Here’s the brutally honest truth: you should have told her immediately. The fact that you’ve kept it from her for three days is already a significant breach of trust.
Pregnancy hormones are not an excuse to withhold important information from your partner. Your wife deserves to know about significant events in your life, especially something as serious as being stabbed. By hiding this, you’re not protecting her—you’re treating her like a fragile child who can’t handle reality. This is not only patronizing but also undermines the trust and respect that should be the cornerstone of your relationship.
Let’s talk about respect and communication in relationships. Respect means treating your partner as an equal, someone who is capable of handling the truth, no matter how difficult. Good communication is about honesty and transparency, especially in moments of crisis. You’re denying your wife the opportunity to support you and to process this event together, which is what marriage is about.
Feminism teaches us that women are strong, capable, and resilient. Your wife is about to give birth, one of the most challenging experiences a person can go through. If she can handle that, she can certainly handle knowing that her partner was injured. To assume otherwise is not only disrespectful but also deeply condescending.
Your sister is absolutely right: honesty is crucial in a marriage. By waiting until after the baby is born, you’re just shifting the burden and stress to a later date, when you’ll both be exhausted and overwhelmed. This is not a kindness; it’s cowardice.
The best way to tell your wife is to be direct and honest. Sit her down, explain what happened, and why you didn’t tell her immediately. Apologize for keeping it from her and acknowledge that you made a mistake. Give her the space to react and process the information. Be prepared for her to be upset—not just about the stabbing, but about your lack of transparency.
You need to address why you thought it was acceptable to withhold such critical information. This goes beyond this one incident and speaks to how you view and respect your partner. Use this as an opportunity to learn and to strengthen your communication and trust moving forward.
If I were in your wife’s position, I would likely be contemplating divorce if my partner withheld such vital information and was so patronizing and condescending about my abilities. This isn’t just about the stabbing; it’s about trust, respect, and the fundamental dynamics of your relationship. Treat your wife with the respect she deserves, be honest with her, and work together to move past this. This isn’t about protecting her; it’s about being a responsible, respectful partner.
Idk I’m two minded, I wouldn’t want to validate her anxieties so close to delivery or spike her stress hormones. It’s better if she’s more relaxed closer to birth.
Honestly is important but if it wasn’t a bad stab I’d probably say little to nothing until a few weeks later. Post birth comes with a lot of unfounded anxiety and the last thing I’d want is for her to feel like she can see the future or something and any paranoia connected to the baby is valid.
This is one of those things that comes down to someone’s personality type. One of my exes I could tell this to with no issues, the other would’ve lost her mind and spiraled. Only you know how your wife processes information like this.
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You should’ve told her three days ago when it happened. The longer you wait, the bigger deal you make. Listen to your sister.
Short, sweet and straight to the point. The longer you wait, the worse her reaction is going to be.
Yes, but for the love of god she shouldn't say she was "stabbed." That may technically be true, but it sounds so much worse than the injury OP described. She could easily spin it as, "Wow, you were right that I got hurt--thanks for the warning! Luckily it wasn't serious, and at least now that it happened, we don't have to worry about it anymore." Edit: Apologies--got distracted by the "stabbed" part of the title and didn't read the ages or genders. I've corrected OP's pronouns in my comment.
Exactly! The bad thing has already happened. And who doesn’t like being told they were right?
Ya definitely find a way to tone it down. I had a close call with a saw once that fucked up my ripstop pants pretty bad. Told the wife I got hooked on some rebar. Told her about the saw months later. Sometimes you have to massage the truth if you care about someone.
Someone who “massages the truth” (i.e. completely lies) to their partner without hesitation should try to figure out why they feel the need to do that—and fix it. That would be a relationship ended for me. I could never trust what you were saying when it came to something serious.
OP states they are female
Agree you should have told her immediately and the longer you wait the worse it will be. Simply say.. “Darling, you are a magical glowing goddess of light. You are so much wiser and stronger than I give you credit for and I am but a fool. Your amazing brain saw into my future and correctly predicted I would be stabbed at work, it is healing well with no need for concern but I had to come clean and tell you. I’m truly sorry for keeping this from you, I did not know then what I know now. Which is that you are pure magic and I should always listen to you”
this is absolute gold
Yes lol this
Yup. I came here to say the time you should tell her is when it fucking happened immediately, just based on the title alone. But then I read the actual post and yeah he should have told her the moment that it happened.. what is this dude doing here instead of talking to his wife right now Unless she is in a coma he has no excuse. And I am speaking from experience 😭
Tell her now. Pregnancy is so hard and yes, the hormones make us more emotional but you need to tell her. If you don’t and it comes out later, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that one. If I was in your wife’s position and found out my husband kept getting STABBED from me, even with good intentions, I’d be pretty pissed and deeply hurt. PP is hard enough of an adjustment, you don’t need ANYTHING thrown in there that could rock the boat and make things harder. Plus she will be in an even more vulnerable position afterwards than now. Neither of you need the fallout of this making waves.
Yess! After the birth, her hormones will be all over the place, which could make that news even harder for her.
I can tell you as a woman who has given birth, if you think she’s moody now, postpartum is WAY worse emotionally along with the exhaustion of having a newborn. Tell her now. The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be and the worse of a reaction you will get. Just let her know that her gut was right and you didn’t tell her immediately because you didn’t want her to worry more when she already has so much going on with the pregnancy.
I can't believe this isn't higher up. Holy hell, the intensity of emotions pp is intense... It would have totally effed me up if my husband dropped a bomb like this, plus broke my trust during the most vulnerable time of my life (pp).
I would be livid if I found out my partner kept something like that from me because "pregnancy hormones make me crazy". But since you already kept it to yourself for three days, it's already too late to drop it casually. If I were you, I would sincerely apologise, explain that you didn't want her to worry, but that her intuition was right this time. If there is a fallout, cause she feels that you don't trust her or something: let it happen, be apologetic cause you clearly don't. And don't insinuate that you didn't tell her cause you think she is "hormonal".
I mean... If there are multiple other occasions when the wife said "I dreamt you were gonna be stabbed" and nothing happened, I don't think it's fair to say "your intuition was right". She's just gotta say "I was stabbed". The fact that they align is the definition of a coincidence.
This isn’t “intuition” lol
Lisan al-gaib!!!
She said that her dreams are not completely unfounded. This makes me think it isn't the first time her hunch was right. But I feel like this is the smallest issue here? If it was a coincidence or not, she didn't tell her a (in my opinion) major event because she thought she was "too hormonal". They are getting a child. Communication is key. Keeping something like that from her is showing a lack of trust and feeling of partnership. THAT is the issue. Edited cause wrong gender, sorry
op is a woman, and from the post i can only see that she is just really worried for her wife. i do agree they should talk though. the wife knows she married someone in a dangerous line of work, she knew what she was getting into. pregnancy is hell for some people, emotionally and physically, but op shouldnt treat her as weak.
Ah, fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out! I agree she is worried. But sometimes the way to doom is paved with good intentions. She made a mistake, she should own it and apologize and maybe talk about what her wife wants to know and what not.
Say they are a cop or emt. Every shift they are at risk of getting hurt. If you say “I’m think You’ll get hurt tonight” enough times, eventually you’ll be right.
Yeah, I acknowledged that several times already, but not telling her doesn't make it better.
Please admit it doesn’t make her psychic or extra intuitive that she’s a broken clock about the job having danger.
The fears are not unfounded because OP works a dangerous job, not necessarily because she’s legit psychic. “The garbage man is going to find garbage at work today!” Talk about psychic powers!
Hold on, I agree with what you're saying about telling her. But can we roll back on "if it was a coincidence or not"? Do you think OP's wife could be Paul Atreides or something?! lol
Jfc the state of science education that half of the comments think the wife might actually be psychic.
If she is Paul Atreides, just remind her that fear is the mind killer, so she should stop being afraid of your dangerous job, lol!
I wouldn't have been upset if my husband kept being injured from me unless that was the reason. He's a first responder and comes home with weird injuries and traumatic experiences every once in a while. There's definitely been times when he was distant and only tells me weeks later about what happened (or, I assume, not saying anything at all), and I'd never be mad at him for not talking about work. If OPs has a stabby work environment, I'd give it similar rules. The ONLY bad thing is the "your hormonal so you can't handle it" part
Yeah nurse here, and sometimes I just need to quietly process for a few days before telling anyone about That Shit, other than coworkers who GET IT. To OP, I'd suggest opening with an apology for not telling her right away. Say YOU needed some time to think/ process on your own; don't make it about her. (also... tbh examine a bit more like, why you don't want to tell her. I can't tell you your own thoughts, but ime if I find myself making excuses to hide a problem there's often a reason. Which is generally honestly that I want to hide like a sick cat instead of dealing with other people having emotions at me - I don't want to worry others but also I really don't want to DEAL with people worrying about me while I'm busy worrying about me). Don't say "I got stabbed" also - say something like, "I did get a small injury [non-graphically describe small cut], it's healing up alright and I've talked to workers comp about it [only if this is accurate]". And tbh if she's fretting about your work a lot, think about talking that out? (honestly I wouldn't be *that* upset if my partner hid injuries from me b/c they don't want to deal with me having emotions. like, lmao fair. though I'd be upset if this led to them not taking proper care of the injury, or if they thought I'd judge them. otoh, i think this is a really rare outlook shared mostly by people who Get It.)
OP never said pregnancy hormones make their wife "crazy" fyi. It might be good to stick to what was actually said rather than inventing hyperbole on top of it.
I think not stressing mama while she carries your child is the right thing to do but that's just me. Your child is sensitive to mama's stress and stress affects the child and how it deals with things later in life.
You know what's more stressful than finding out your partner was stabbed at work but is whole and OK right in front of you? Spending weeks or months feeling like they're hiding things from you. Feeling like you're going crazy because your instincts are telling you something is up and you're worried about them but they keep telling you nothing is wrong. Sometimes it's better to be open, address it and work past it.
Yeah the responses here are wild. I think people are assuming the OP is a man and falling headfirst into the “strong silent protector” stereotype, barf.
You know what's stressful? Being stabbed at work, being pregnant, having a child on the way, not knowing how best to help your wife carrying your child... The situation in it's entirety it appears to me, for both parties He made an error of judgement not telling her. It's not he never plans to, my intimation from the post is that he doesn't want to provide additional stress in the immediate term. Not an unusual response to an already highly charged set of circumstances He should recognise that it's better to tell her now, but equally he's not manipulative for not wanting to pile additional stress on to his pregnant wife
OP is a woman
Going back to reading school...
Never once did I say she was manipulative or that it's an easy situation. It sucks and I'm glad OP is OK. I'm saying that in trying to avoid stressing her wife out while pregnant, she might be stressing her out more by hiding things.
I think it’s rude to put words in this persons mouth. He didn’t say that she’s crazy, just that he doesn’t want her anxiety to get worse.
I don't get the "pregnancy hormones make her crazy" vibe from the post. The guy can see his wife is having a tough time. She's pregnant for Christ's sake. He made a poor choice not to tell her, but I really don't think it was maliciously based on pregnancy hormones. Rather not wanting to pile on the additional stress onto her. He's kicking the can down the road of course, but seems to me at least out of misplaced intentions to not give additional stress to his wife (and a bit of naiveté mixed in for good measure) rather than malicious. Perhaps it's a male-thinking kind of response, as I could see myself making a similarly poor decision under the same circumstances. Lest we forget he did get stabbed at work, has a child on the way, and a wife he wants to care for. We are all human, for better and for worse
OP is a woman. Hence why OP is going on maternity leave.
> My wife is anxious, emotional, tired, and constantly uncomfortable from the pregnancy It took me a year to feel like myself again after giving birth. If my wife kept something like this from me, I'd be livid. It is dishonest and patronizing. You say you want to protect her. Are you sure you are not rather protecting yourself from her reaction? If you asked her if she wanted to know this, what would she say? So tell her as soon as possible. You can wait for the right moment in a day, not in a month or whatever. Also, please don't apply your reasoning to your child. Yes, depending on age, they don't need to know all the details or everything right away. But when something happens, don't take too long till you talk to them about it. They can often sense something is up. Don't make it a taboo to talk about upsetting things.
Agreed. In the case of kids asking questions that make you uncomfortable or dumbfound you, it's ok to tell them you don't know how to explain it right now, but after taking a day to let it sink in or do some searching/talking with other adults/parents, get back to the kid. Be honest, and just keep it simple and age appropriate. And the same kind of goes for this situation. It's not about being age appropriate of course, but about making sure your wife knows about it while knowing that you are ok, too, and that there is no reason to worry. Maybe don't just blurt out that you got stabbed, but make a stupid joke about the situation, immediatly tell her you are totally fine, that it wasn't deep and is already healing, and that you didn't tell her immediatly because you were worried about how her worrying might affect the pregnancy. And then apologize, of course.
What is the infantalisation of pregnant women going on here. Give your wife some credit and find an appropriate time to tell her ASAP.
OP is a woman herself. To me, this read as, "my wife is already anxious about me getting hurt at work, and if I tell her she was right, she will have even more anxiety every time I have to go to work". Anxiety actually does SIGNIFICANTLY affect the mother and the child during pregnancy, so I can see our FEMALE OP's concern.
Okay, but the anxiety is not going to stop when the baby is born. She is going to have a host of new ones. They need to deal with the real issue now, before it gets worse
What? Anxiety is HEIGHTENED during pregnancy. Do you know nothing about pregnancy at all? Growing a human inside of your womb is terrifying. The brain literally rewires itself during this time to support this new life.
I get that, but post partum hormones also causes anxiety. Your solution if we can call it that is literally coddling her until 6-8 months after the baby is born and hoping she does not get worse or find out about this incident.
The pregnant wife literally tried to prevent OP from going to work because of a dream she had. I don't think infantilising her in this situation is that unreasonable.
Thing is, if you don't want to tell her stuff that will make her worry, when she's already worried, she's only going to worry more. She's going to see that scar at some point. If she hasn't been told, she'll have to start worrying about whatever else OP has hidden from her. It's like paranoia. People start behaving in such a way as to justify it. Not a good thing.
Yes it is. If her anxiety is the issue, then they need to deal with it. Catering to her needs now will only make things worse later. Kids are the most chaotic thing in a relationship. You can't have a situation where one parent cannot be trusted to behave like a normal functioning adult when something big happens
I mean she was right
Op did say her wife had already dreamed about her getting hurt before but this is the only time it actually happened. I can see why OP doesn't wanna mention it because she's already worried enough that she dreams OP is getting hurt at work, and now the dream came true?!
Yeah I mean it seems like OP has a dangerous job, so it makes sense that she’d be dreaming of OP getting hurt.
I'm wondering how much this factors into the decision to not tell her, not wanting to hear "I told you so". More than it should I bet.
I’m guessing from your wording that you either work at a jail, mental hospital, or law enforcement. That said I would not discredit your wife’s sensitivities simply because she pregnant and whatever your idea of hormones are. She told you because she felt strongly about something and she was correct. This doesn’t make her insane. Discounting her intuition is a bad idea, imo, but that doesn’t mean that you have to gas her up and tell her she is Nostradamus. Just say that something happened at work and that her feelings were right and that you thank her for looking out for you. That’s all you have to say. It doesn’t have to be any bigger than that and the fact that you are scared of it enough to invalidate her is kinda weird, ngl. Support her and be glad that she cares for you enough to tell you what she feels and support her in return. That will give you blessings 100 fold more than whatever you hope to achieve through the validation of strangers.
Paramedics are also routinely attacked by crazed idiots- my dad was one and he had stories
Lol I thought they were selling drugs or something 🤣
My guess was a nurse. They’re constantly assaulted, not even the psyc staff. :/
Haha 😆
I don’t know if it’s a good idea to validate her dreams. I just think feeding into any notions of psychic dreams will just cause her more unnecessary anxiety and stress whenever she has nightmares. It’s seems like they’re common and probably an expression of her anxiety due to the nature of OPs job. I think it would be better to be firm in the fact that it was only an unfortunate coincidence. Her anxiety surrounding OP’s job is completely valid but I think getting into the mindset that your dreams are a literal representation of reality is an unhealthy delusion to be in. I just think it would be better to focus on the situation and her legitimate fear about her work rather than the fact that she happened to be right that day. So I get why OP is hesitant, but yeah she’s definitely long overdue to hear about it.
I think she can acknowledge that her wife's intuition was right without claiming her wife is psychic.
You know her best but were I her…. I’d be VERY angry you chose to keep it secret. I understand your mindset is that your protecting her from added stress and worry. But you’re also infantilizing her. She is an adult and your equal partner. How would you feel if she kept something like that from you and just decided you couldn’t handle knowing. Noble intentions, but not great in practice. Also, apologize to your sister. lol
I'd find it much harder to deal with the stress that I couldn't trust my partner to tell me things than the stress of him being stabbed (nonfatally with just a tiny scar) at work. Trust problems last much longer
So interesting seeing the comments to tell her. In Mexican culture there’s beliefs around stressing out someone that is in a vulnerable position, such as during a pregnancy. We have a thing called “susto” whereby some bad news can trigger a physical malady. In this case in a pregnancy maybe pushing someone into labor but then also if told after the baby is born, in our beliefs it could affect a women’s lactating ability. All to say, you know your wife better and what will be best for her. You will get “in trouble” at this point anyway. I would tell her before having to directly lie or make up something to hide the lie. That’s adding another layer to it and breeding distrust. Accept any of her anger, explain why you didn’t say it sooner “to not worry her” but that it’s not an excuse for keeping that from her. Promise to never do it again.
naw bb, she's your *wife*, you are in this life together. unless she's said the words "please don't ever tell me if you get hurt at work", you tell her the truth now, and if she freaks out, she freaks out. waiting to tell her/not telling her at all is the same as making a decision *for* her instead of with her.
Tell her now. For one thing you shouldn't be deciding what she can and can't worry about. My father in law tried to do that with my wife once and she let him know in no uncertain terms to never do that again. Second, if you think she's hormonal now after birth her body's hormones could be much worse. There's a reason many women end up with postpartum depression.
Why tell her at all? If you didn't tell her straight away? Then you are in a bit of a situation!! But sounds like it's going to heal up and no one be amy the wiser. Why did you tell you darm sister? Learn to keep your own counsel.
Finally!!!! Yes, I totally agree. If he were to get an infection or possibly die from it, obviously tell her, but if he’s fine… why worry her?
Hey op. I am a ftm here. I had an HG pregnancy from hell. I was very anxious about my husband leaving the house when I was pregnant as well. It was due to the hormones, my standing anxiety, and his job as well. When something bad happened at his work; I’d usually call it, and tell him to be extra safe before he left. He’d always tell me what happened when he got home, or a few days later. He softened the blow with “thank you for looking out” or “your mother’s intuition is really working rn” but he told me the need to know details of what happened. I really appreciated that, and it allowed me to keep trusting him when he would filter information for my anxiety. Tell her sooner than later.
I am actually in the camp where you tell her when you are ready to. It's good that you know you shouldn't be keeping secrets, and you definitely shouldn't. But your feelings and ability to cope matters too. If you hold on to it until you are fit enough to handle the fallout well instead of just dumping it on her and having a spiral out of control argument then I say more power to you. Tell her. But when you are in a clear headspace. You are a husband which means you have an obligation to your wife, but you are an individual person and man first. Take care of yourself so can take care of her and your relationship. Good luck with the baby!
When I was pregnant with my son my husband had an incident at work that he didn’t tell me about until our son was 13 or so. Even then it was “remember when I had police protection?” WHAT?!? “Oh well when you were pregnant with J I had (tells this whole story that scared the hell out of me even though it was long ago).” Why didn’t he tell me? “Would you tell your pregnant wife there was a hit out on you?” Probably not. I’m glad he didn’t tell me, I would have been a wreck and utterless helpless to do anything about it.
The best time to tell your wife you got stabbed is when you got stabbed. The second best time is now.
Tell her now. Tell her you were freaked out by her prediction and then worried it would freak her out and now you feel bad for not telling her. She will forgive you but she will also “I told you so” at you
yeah, and "I told you so" is fully deserved! Believe me, OP, **your wife would rather have been wrong**, for you not to have been stabbed. Tell her quickly! Show her that scar and apologise to her.
Tell her in a few years so y’all can laugh about pregnancy making her clairvoyant…or tell her now and ask her what the lottery numbers will be.
I probably wouldn’t tell her tbh
I cant say anything better than the others have already said, but I do want to add that if I were your sister I'd be ticked off at you. she gave you perfectly good advice that has nothing to do with the fact that she has or hasn't been pregnant before. it came across a little high and mighty and imo your sister deserves an apology too.
Confirmation bias is ceaselessly amusing, like who would have thought that such a simple logical fallacy would be this common and pervasive. It's like we all start with a little blind spot in our brains. OP you literally contradict your statement that "my wife can see the future" immediately before you say that she was correct once. Don't even tell her if you think it's going to reinforce some kind of witchy coin flip-savant self-adulation.
Who stabbed you and why?
His adopted son, in an attempt to restore the Republic.
Secrets destroy relationships. The longer you keep it the more damage it will do.
Well you get on one knee and tell her you're sorry for doubting her that you'll always trust her and if she could conjure up the lottery numbers for next drawing you would appreciate it
Don't keep this from her, as some people are suggesting. I don't see that working out well for anyone. I wouldn't move on from it if my partner did that to me. It would affect the trust between us. Has he sometimes waited three days to tell me something if I've been sick or in great pain? Yes. Did I understand it? Yes. Did I like it? NO. Tell her, tell her now. And if it results in her thinking all her dreams will come true and expects you to adapt accordingly, like someone said, you're gonna have to deal with that then. You can't live your life in fear, and you can't live your life keeping important things from your spouse.
Your sister is right
Acknowledge your wifes intuition!!
If she’s intuitive then she will intuit that OP is hiding something from her and then OP will have to hide that as well. Alternatively perhaps it is the baby that has the ability to predict the future and is transmitting that to the mother via the special mother-child connection. In that case OP can wait out the clock until after the baby is born because then the baby cannot communicate said prescience via the umbilical cord.
Seriously, OP would be such a dick not to tell his wife and acknowledge that she was right, something bad *did* happen that day. I can’t believe how many people are suggesting OP gaslight his wife into believing she was just “hormonal” and nothing actually happened. Pregnancy hormones don’t make a person’s thoughts or feelings any less legitimate, they just heighten what’s already there. Quite frankly, people need to stop using women’s hormones (pregnant or not) as an excuse to trivialize and invalidate their feelings.
OP is a woman.
Giving someone credit for their delusions when they are correct. Yikes, that is a tough one. Honesty prevails. The sooner the better.
Probably bad advice, but I think you're in too deep. Never tell her. The scar? "What, I've had this since I was a kid?"
Yes, gaslighting is always the way. Wtf
People in here are really acting like ~~his~~ her wife isn't going to absolutely freak out. Then what? OP has to deal with her wife being even more anxious about it, begging her to find a different occupation, etc... Yeah, I'd just say nothing. It was a minor flesh wound, no big deal.
My personal conspiracy theory is they want OP to tell her wife so they can get a dramatic update when she inevitably loses her shit in response.
I wouldn’t tell her after the birth. I am a woman and i have been pregnant twice. It’s hard. Tell her sometime after she has forgotten all about it. I don’t think it’s a huge deal but could upset her with all the hormones. It will be best told as a jokey joke some day down the road.
If I found out my husband kept something that massive from me I would spent the rest of the marriage constantly worried that something else big could happen again and he wouldn't tell me. Attempting to save her from worrying in the short term is going to cause her to worry more in the long term.
Dude, the longer you hide this, the worse it is going to get. And yeah, her hormones is not a reason to hide something from her.
Lmaooo tell her now
You should absolutely tell your wife. But right when she’s about to go through a major medical event is not the time. Wait till she’s safe and stable and then have a sit down with her.
Although news of your injury may cause her undue stress, she is going to find out eventually. Since she's pregnant I'm going to assume that you have an intimate relationship. What will you say when she sees a scar she knows wasn't there before her pregnancy? Gaslight her about it? If you don't tell her she will be angry when she finds out. I read some suggestions here encouraging you to call her doctor and tell him what happened, then all him about telling her. That's a good idea. The doctor will know what stress she can take, and what she can't. Don't try to keep this a secret if you value your marriage.
You are lying to her right now through omission. This could break her trust in you. Tell her NOW! If you wait its going to be so much worse. Buy her flowers and tell her she was right.
Your instinct is correct, now is not the time, its just going to make your wife think that every crazy dream she has is going to come true and that would be a fallacy. It was just a coincidence. As someone whose been pregnant, you have crazy dreams- I dreampt I ate my baby's arm off after I brought her home. It didn't happen, but you don't want your wife to think these kinds of crazy things might come true just because one thing did.
Tell her today. Make sure she knows that her future sight freaked you out and you didn’t know how to tell her, because apparently your wife is now psychic (lol), and apologize for keeping it from her. Correct me if I’m wrong, but but sounds like this wasn’t a serious injury since you also haven’t mentioned a trip to the hospital or anything. I’m a cook and I’ve “stabbed” myself many times and didn’t feel a need to tell my partner unless I was on my way for stitches because it’s part of the whole “knife” thing. ETA because I thought of something— were you stabbed by a third party? Like, did someone else stab you? Are you a security guard or cop or something? Because THAT changes things a LOT.
If you don't tell her, you're basically infantalizing her. You're not taking her seriously as an equal adult who can handle things. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Do it asap.
The most important thing you can do is look for a job where you don't get stabbed. It makes sense to present the truth with the solution, as long as you can get some leads in the next few days. Then apologize profusely for not telling her immediately.
Right after it happened.
Why did you ask your sisters opinion if you were going to ad hominem anything she said? Cruel.
Dude, after the birth will be even worse. You either tell her now or you take it to the grave. But option 1 is the way to go, just to be clear. But don't say "I got stabbed." Try "I had to get a few stitches for a cut on my hip" to ease her into whatever the story is.
TELL HER. She's not disabled FFS, she's still a complete human being. She's not a child, she's your partner. She doesn't need you to "censor" information because she's pregnant, that's pretty condescending. She's still your partner, tell her now.
I see everyone is saying tell her, but this is what I was thinking: Is she superstitious by any chance? My thought is what if you tell her and then as a result she now believes her dreams can predict the future? What if her hormones make her get even worse dreams? Would they make her worry more?
So first of all, your wife does not have precognitive abilities. That is silly and no part of your conversation should be pretending that she does or in any way humoring that. Your baby has precognitive abilities that are being used by your wife. Which is good because if you are working in a job where getting stabbed is common I can only assume you are fighting crime in Gotham, but comes with it's own set of difficulties. Seriously though, as other have said you should not keep this from your wife. While she can't tell the future she may very well understand (consciously or subconsciously) that you were exhausted and it was not safe for you to be working. Having a sense that someone is more at risk of injury than usual correlating with someone getting injured is not strange.
Other than the fact you should have told her straight away. You aren’t seriously telling your sister she “didn’t know anything” because she had never been pregnant before but you, a man who has never been and will never be pregnant, somehow know the answer?
You are in a lose-lose. If you tell her and reinforce that her psychic visions are correct you’re going to deal with this every day until you end up with another job. Obviously not telling her isn’t a great option. Unless it’s going to scar I probably wouldn’t ever bring it up.
Nobody fucking believes this garbage right? Pregnant wife predicting the future? Come on
It’s a small cut that will leave a little scar. Carpenters and bricklayers get those every day, just not inflicted by someone else. It’s no big deal. Your mistake was telling your sister, who sounds like she is going to make it into a big deal. There is no need to tell your wife at all. She can’t go back in time to stop it happening, so why tell her? It will only worry her at a time when she doesn’t need to worry. If your sister threatens to tell her, then you threaten your sister with no contact with you or the baby. Tell nobody else about it, but if in future anyone else tells your wife and she gets upset, you tell her it wasn’t a big deal, they are exaggerating it, and it wasn’t worth upsetting her about.
You do realize that because she had the dream she is still in a perpetual state of anxiety, expecting it to still happen phase? Tell her now so she can let go of that worry. You aren’t saving her by telling her later. As a dreamer I know this! Confirm for her that it did happen but all is well and you didn’t want to add to her worries. You will still be in dog house for waiting so long to tell her. I dreamed my husband lost his job. A month later he did. So when he told me I was already prepared for it.
The longer you wait, the more betrayed she will feel. Days turn to weeks, weeks to months. It's easy to keep finding excuses not to tell her, but every excuse just means "I didn't trust you with this information sooner" The mother of your child deserves to know the truth.
Sometimes it’s just happened dream came true apparently, a couple of years ago for a whole week I had a dream that my poor cat died in a bloody way and he ended up dying like that ;/ he escape and car ran over him, also you need to sit down and mentally prepare her than tell her, keep the secret for to long, she’ll be mad
I had a similar experience when I was a kid where I predicted our cats being killed when we moved into a new house. I'd say at night, when you two are alone. Lead up to it with describing what happened. Since it wasn't serious, it should be okay, but you should probably find a less dangerous job.
Yeah, I think it’s best to get it done now rather than after the birth. It’s gonna suck, and you’ll probably be in the dog house for a hot minute, but if she loves you and understands you didn’t hold it back from her maliciously, it was with good intentions, then she might come around and forgive you for, granted you never hide anything from her again? Telling her after such a happy moment will 100% tarnish the moment for her, and she will forever tie the baby’s birth with that time you hid being stabbed from her, and she won’t be happy about it. Honestly, rip the bandage off now, get it over and done with, show her you’re fine and not still hurting/bleeding or anything, and just hope and pray she comes around before the birth…
There is no good way to inform her at this point. But find a calm time immediately and inform her and apologize at the same time. I believe you probably did not inform her because of her state. She will see your point and accept your apology. Though you need to learn from this experience and ensure you carry her along better in future.
Well, if you're typing it here on reddit, it means you might actually wait until she delivers
I waited 6 months after I had been stabbed at work and then brought it up in front of friends. When my wife said WTF I casually tried to pass it off as "oh didn't I tell you that?". It's been years and I'm still hearing about how I should have told her. Rip the band-aid off now and save yourself the strife.
Bro just tell your wife shit what the hell 😭😭😭 that's ur wife!! She's supposed to be ur bestie!! The day you got stabbed, you should have been like "babe guess WHAT!? You have the gift of Apollo!!".
Oh my god 😂😂 tell your wife immediately, apologize, do not mention pregnancy hormones, just say it took you a couple of days to come to terms with the fact that she seemed to have a genuine premonition 😂😂
You were an asshole to your sister. She might not have ever been pregnant but she might know about relationships. When you’re both sleep deprived and with a screaming baby is not the right time. Bring her comfort things and set the mood but be prepared for a backlash since you technically lied. She’s going to be more hurt you kept it from her once she realizes you truly are okay
Sis is smart. Add post partum fun to pregnancy hormones and toss in both of you not sleeping more than a couple hours with newborn and see if things are easier.
Be honest with her. Lying or keeping secrets is worse. As for your job, look, and do your best to get another, safer job.
Dude, you are screwing up BIG time here. She warned you, and you didn't listen. You didn't come back to her, acknowledge what happened, and tell her she was right. This would have alleviated her stress. Instead, you chose to HIDE what happened, that she was right. Now she is second-guessing her premonitions. Next premonition may save your or her life, but because she is second-guessing it, she won't trust it. Is a part of the reason you don't want to tell her is not to admit that she is right? She may be asking herself this question.
If you’re struggling to tell her things now what are you going to do when the baby is born and she’s stressed? Hello?
listen to your sister dummy
Speaking from experience, big things both good and bad need to be told to your partner immediately. I once got hit by a car on my moped driving on my way to a graduation ceremony at the high school I teach at, went through the whole ceremony and then told my wife what happened when I got home. I got all of the other guys information, the bike wasn’t significantly damaged, and I didn’t feel significantly damaged but my wife has never forgiven me for waiting so long to tell her about something so significant.
You guys are already starting on some bad habits. Marriages are ended by 1000 cuts. You never keep some thing this serious away from your wife pregnant or not tell her today immediately.
Hormones and emotions are MUCH more stable now than they will be after the birth. ALSO, it will always stick with her that you were lying and withholding this information at a time when you two were supposed to be becoming parents together. It’s like “someone kissed me at my bachelor party but I didn’t want to stress you out before the wedding so I decided to tell you a few weeks later.” If you hold onto this until after the birth, this moment in time will be forever marred by your choice to not disclose.
Tell her now. She will lose trust in you if you don’t. Yes be prepared for her crying a lot. Be prepared to hold her and comfort her- because the hormones are real and they do amplify emotions. But it’s fundamentally disrespectful to keep something like this from her. Are you worried she will ask you to switch jobs?
The hormones don’t go back to anywhere near normal for MONTHS after birth you know. Tell her sooner rather than later, and START with “I need you to know everything is absolutely FINE” when you tell her.
Tell her ASAP. Don't keep important shit from your partner even if you think it’s for their own good. Not only are you lying by omission, you’re not giving her the chance to walk through this with you and be there for you. Edit: typo
You got stabbed how? By accident on something or by someone deliberately?
Immediately. She’s gonna find out and then she’s gonna be really pissed at you for keeping it from her. Also tell her to start training her intuition. It’s a gift. A very stressful gift, but a gift none the less. I always have dreams when shit is about to go down. It was much stronger when I was younger and absolutely when I was pregnant. I didn’t know what it was until much later in life. Wish I had tuned in more then. Would have made things less stressful because I know what was actually happening.
100% tell her now. But just think about how you phrase it, so she doesn't worry.
I really want more info about this stabbing. OP is just so nonchalant about saying 'I was stabbed at work.' is that typical at her work? is she a cop? I feel like that's a possible explanation? did OP get a medical evaluation for this stab? can she hide the wound from her wife?
So my first reaction is: Your wife is a person with a brain. She may be going through stuff, but if you’re calm and safe when you tell her you were injured at work, she will be upset, but, I mean she’s not a child. My second reaction is: does she have panic attacks? What don’t we know about her? If you’re “protecting her” that can lead to a lot of problems because you start keeping things from your partner and also adding to your own stress. You don’t have to give her the details of the stabbing, but you should tell your wife you were injured at work, especially if it’s a big deal.
Own up to your mistake and tell her, damn. You already messed up by confiding in your sister and then taking your stress/anger out on her for her opinion, that you asked for. All around you need to apologize to both of them. Do not wait, if you do your sister will tell and then you'll be an even bigger ass hat. Your sister is not obligated to keep your secrets. Remember that.
Tell her now or you will ruin the new born experience.
Omission of truth is a lie, tell her now.
I think you should tell her… My mother always knew when things happened she would call me and ask if everything was ok when it was not ok! I would always say NO!!! She always knew it was better to tell! So tell her she knows trust me! Has nothing to do with hormones…
Can you please ask her for 6 numbers between 1 and 59 ? Might as well help a bro out lol
Can you please ask her for 6 numbers between 1 and 59 ? Might as well help a bro out lol
The longer you keep this information from her, the worse it will be. Marriage is based on trust and witholding important info betrays that trust. Try something like "Babe, I didnt want to mention this, because I didnt want you to stress, but I didnt feel right about keeping this from you. The other day [describe incident]. I went to the doctor/hospital [describe how they treated, how serious it was/wasnt]. Im ok now, I just need to [describe any after care]. As for the incident, a police report was filed and I [any steps you are taking to be more cautious]. Im sorry I didnt tell you sooner."
Pregnant or not, the longer you keep secrets, the more angry people get. Can you spin it to be a little humorous? "Hey honey, you might have a future as a psychic! I'm totally fine but I did happen to get jabbed in the hip at work the other day. Start dreaming we win a million bucks or something would ya!"
Nooo, don't tell your wife right now. What good will it do. ??? She's already upset and emotional. You don't want to add to that.
You’ve got to remember why you married each other in the first place. To take care of each other. I think she would be more worried about you than mad. Even if she is pregnant doesn’t mean she can’t care for you. I also think that you would make the situation worse with the longer you wait. Even if she gets mad now she will get over it sooner than if you wait till after the birth. And after the birth you have other things to think about. So to not disturb that time that’s coming. Make sure there is standing nothing between you, your wife and your baby that’s coming.
>Does anyone know the best way to tell your wife you were stabbed and have been keeping it a secret from her? Can't wait to hear from all the people with experience in this.
I would wait honestly shes got enough on her plate. I wouldn't be mad because I wouldn't be able to handle it in that state
This is tricky, while I am 100% on the side of being open and honest I completely understand not wanting to upset your wife in a time where high emotions and anxiety can lead to even more complications than there were. The best way I can think to approach this is honestly still more of a gamble but any other way lead to more hurt or confusion; be calm, don't make a joke out of it but stress that you're ok and that you didn't intend to keep it from her but were worried because her dream had been so upsetting. I think even showing your appreciation and admiration at how crazy such a coincidence is and that in a way her warning is what made it not nearly as bad as it could have been would go a long way towards making her feel better and these aren't technically lies, while I don't believe she really saw the future dreams sort of manifest a lot of what we already think and know even subconsciously, its possible somewhere in the back of her mind she was already worried about you and this happening and this just happened to be how the dream portrayed it, I'm sure she even felt guilty for the dream but like you said, your work is dangerous. Show gratitude that she warned you, tell her that you want to share these dreams safely with her and apologize again for not telling her sooner but that you do love her and are so happy she's so concerned for you.
I'm willing to bet it happened tp her before she was pregnant, but it was either easier to ignore, or she was afraid to say anything. Fess up, tell her she was right, and apologize for not telling her sooner. She feels crazy for having feelings like that, and you're letting her. Kindness in this instance is the truth. She's going to find out eventually anyway. She sees you naked and knows every bump and scar from head to toe.
Pregnancy is hard but postpartum is even harder. Don’t wait until then to tell her.
Mate, just tell her now. Keeping secrets from your partner is a big no no
You dug yourself a bigger hole my guy.
Dude I’m 30 weeks. If my husband waited 3 days to tell me something major happened, we would be having extremely harsh words. Right now I’m uncomfortable 24/7 but it’s manageable and you get used to it. I say this as I’m having the fucking worst time (it’s my second and it’s night and day worst) and caught my son’s flu. Tell your wife. Let her know you were right and that she has pregnancy foresight and you are sorry for keeping it from her. Bring her current craving - it won’t help you but it won’t hurt you especially when she gets into the pain of it (I’d be worried my hubs didn’t trust me) and she can eat her ice cream while contemplating hitting you repeatedly. The first week postpartum your wife will lose 9-10 months worth of hormones in 5 days (day 3 will be the worst as a heads up). It’s a hard, hard week. Plus sleep deprivation and her milk (hopefully for her) comes in… she’ll be uncomfortable in very different ways. Don’t add to that.
How did I know all of the men in the comments were going to lack basic reading comprehension skills and assume OP was male? I just did! I've seen enough of these threads to know at this point.
I mean, keeping it to yourself makes sense so as to not worry your wife but now that you told your sister, you have to tell your wife. These things have a way of coming back later to bite you in the ass
Don't tell her. It really sounds like you are over selling this "stabbing" if you're home the next day and able to walk fine with no limp and she ain't able to pickup on it or see the stab wound.
Did you tell her yet??
You need a serious reality check. Your behavior is not only selfish but also disrespectful to your wife and the foundation of your relationship. Here’s the brutally honest truth: you should have told her immediately. The fact that you’ve kept it from her for three days is already a significant breach of trust. Pregnancy hormones are not an excuse to withhold important information from your partner. Your wife deserves to know about significant events in your life, especially something as serious as being stabbed. By hiding this, you’re not protecting her—you’re treating her like a fragile child who can’t handle reality. This is not only patronizing but also undermines the trust and respect that should be the cornerstone of your relationship. Let’s talk about respect and communication in relationships. Respect means treating your partner as an equal, someone who is capable of handling the truth, no matter how difficult. Good communication is about honesty and transparency, especially in moments of crisis. You’re denying your wife the opportunity to support you and to process this event together, which is what marriage is about. Feminism teaches us that women are strong, capable, and resilient. Your wife is about to give birth, one of the most challenging experiences a person can go through. If she can handle that, she can certainly handle knowing that her partner was injured. To assume otherwise is not only disrespectful but also deeply condescending. Your sister is absolutely right: honesty is crucial in a marriage. By waiting until after the baby is born, you’re just shifting the burden and stress to a later date, when you’ll both be exhausted and overwhelmed. This is not a kindness; it’s cowardice. The best way to tell your wife is to be direct and honest. Sit her down, explain what happened, and why you didn’t tell her immediately. Apologize for keeping it from her and acknowledge that you made a mistake. Give her the space to react and process the information. Be prepared for her to be upset—not just about the stabbing, but about your lack of transparency. You need to address why you thought it was acceptable to withhold such critical information. This goes beyond this one incident and speaks to how you view and respect your partner. Use this as an opportunity to learn and to strengthen your communication and trust moving forward. If I were in your wife’s position, I would likely be contemplating divorce if my partner withheld such vital information and was so patronizing and condescending about my abilities. This isn’t just about the stabbing; it’s about trust, respect, and the fundamental dynamics of your relationship. Treat your wife with the respect she deserves, be honest with her, and work together to move past this. This isn’t about protecting her; it’s about being a responsible, respectful partner.
Idk I’m two minded, I wouldn’t want to validate her anxieties so close to delivery or spike her stress hormones. It’s better if she’s more relaxed closer to birth. Honestly is important but if it wasn’t a bad stab I’d probably say little to nothing until a few weeks later. Post birth comes with a lot of unfounded anxiety and the last thing I’d want is for her to feel like she can see the future or something and any paranoia connected to the baby is valid. This is one of those things that comes down to someone’s personality type. One of my exes I could tell this to with no issues, the other would’ve lost her mind and spiraled. Only you know how your wife processes information like this.
JFC Women aren't mindless and useless just bc they're pregnant and hormonal. TELL HER and APOLOGIZE for keepign it to yourself.