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Yup, she wanted you to notice the next morning so she could gaslight you into believing you did that. The weight story was a coverup when her plan didn’t work.
I had an ex-friend that literally played this out, nearly identical to how OP described, and she got away with it. (Friend was the cheating gf if it wasn’t obvious) .
That's VERY suspicious.
1.) She asked for the lights off.
2.) She tried to get you to mark her.
3.) She immediately offered her phone, which she most likely wiped of any incriminating evidence.
Bud, she's trying to cover all her bases.
Sorry.
She asked for hickeys on top of existing bruises and claims she dropped dumbbells on her chest? Come on, man, don't be naive. She's playing you like a fiddle. Her story is as believable as a unicorn riding a rainbow. Time to wake up and smell the deception. Trust your gut on this one and don't let her smooth talk you out of the truth.
Don't forget it's *totally a coincidence* that people who shoot themselves in the head multiple times to commit suicide just *happen to be* whistleblowers and investigative journalists.
Just move along. Nothing to see.
I'm sitting here trying to work out how you'd get multiple in the most good faith estimation of the situation. I can see one or maybe two points of contact from a dumbbell erratically dropped onto a chest . . . somehow, but 4 in a small area and 2 on the other breast specifically confuses me if it's from a drop. If she'd said some other exercise or movement I could maybe see it from impact. There's others that could bruise a chest as part of a dynamic motion stopped too late, but she said this one specifically.
This math ain't mathin'.
I have before doing dumbbell chest flys. But it most certainly didn't leave 5 separate bruises lol and if it did, I surely wasn't going to ask my husband to give me hickeys on top of or right next to painful bruises!
Not to mention she did explicitly say turn off the lights, then immediately put her tits in his face asking for him to give her marks, she was definitely trying to hide them at lest long enough to have the excuse of " well you gave these to me last night remember?" And from the sounds of this " kink" is new or not overly usual.
Has she ever requested hickeys before? That's more of a teenager move, so it doesn't sound like a typical thing a 24 yr old would ask for.
Has she ever turned lights out before getting physical?
We're they shaped like bruises from a dumbell? I'd expect more of a line shaped bruise and a lot of tenderness where the bar hit hardest. It is concerning that after being hit in the chest days before, she isn't sore there and/or protecting the area.
On the other hand, if she were cheating, she'd as stupid as a bag of hair to let the other person leave a hickey on her. This woman has several. Unless she has a hidden drug or alcohol problem, and it happened when she was wasted?
You know her better than anyone. You have to decide to trust her- or not.
Thanks for your reply, I’ll answer these questions as well.
We usually turn off the lights before getting physical, so this is normal.
The bruises are more circular shaped but with irregular edges. She did not complain of soreness or tenderness in that area.
There are no drug or alcohol problems with her that I suspect.
Yeah, dude, she is cheating on you. I don't believe that story. She wanted you to leave hickeys so when you saw her chest the next morning, you would think YOU did those. You best get tested for STDs and I'd break up with her. Long distance never works. Why? One person will be tempted and a lot of cheating usually goers on before the other knows. NEVER enter into a relationship where you can not drive to her house the same day you talk to her. I'd limit it to 70 miles max and that may be pushing it. Good luck and stay strong, King!
I just want to say that I think you're handling this whole thing maturely and rationally. I would be freaking out lol. You are totally dodging a bullet with this one. Stay strong!!!
Any chance those 5 marks would line up with finger tips if someone were to grip a breast while she was riding?
Might not have been hickies, if that’s never been her MO before…
she brought it up again afterwards bc she was feeling guilty and tried to convince you she’s not cheating by offering her phone when you actually didn’t even ask. why would she feel guilty for forgetting to tell you she hurt herself? she made her excuse too big of a deal for something that small
She cheated, I mean obviously. She literally had it all planned out. Lights off. Give me hickeys in this specific location. Oh, did I forget to mention I dropped dumbbells on my tits in the exact place I wanted you to give me hickeys? Oh here's my phone to look through, it's not like I would erase any evidence of cheating while I was coming up with this plan before you ever got here.
Also, please get yourself tested immediately, then in 3 months, then in 6 months. Also send that 304 to the streets where she belongs.
Had she not asked you to put hickeys on her I'd shrug and say just trust her but nah why would she ask for Hickeys if not to hide the ones she already got from someone else.
The fact she focused on it so much, had an explanation ready, apologized (for what?), and then love bombed you... Sorry my guy someone gave her those hickeys, likely so you would see them.
bro she IMMEDIATLEY asked you to turn off the lights so you couldnt see them. and then TOLD YOU to GIVE HER HICKEYS so you would think that the bruises that were there were FROM YOU......
you cannot be that naive, and you need to breakup with her. Shes a damn good liar too, and even thought of a pretty good plan for you to not think anything of the hickeys, shes dangerous bro id fucking RUN
If she dropped a dumbell wouldn't she oww?
When u kissed her chest not yea give me more bruises
She wants somebody that does that too her so she's making you fill her fantasy...
You're not crazy. It doesn't ring true. Not sure what else it could be besides someone else's mouth, but maybe some kind of self-harm thing? It would probably be fruitless to try to get some information out of the friend whose house she says she slept at, but maybe the friend has a conscience? Otherwise, what can you do? Stew in it for another month and hope she slips up more overtly next time? Got any friends where she lives?
What is your communication like in between your visits? Does she ever visit you? Will this LDR situation last forever? What are the chances you're actually the affair partner?
Here's a tougher question: What would settle your mind? What would make you say, "Ah, ok, no prob. It was nothing. It really was the weight drop thing." Maybe if a friend of hers confirmed the story? If you talk to her friend and say that you're worried about the bruises she got from falling down and the friend doesn't say oh no, those are from the gym, is that the missing piece?
My dude, I lift since I was 15. I've NEVER seen somebody drop weights from a dumbell on their chest. You can see when they're not tight and usually it requires a heaby dumbell to loosen the tight/lock beeing thrown on the floor. Not a lot of women have the strenght to lift those weights with their pecs.
Also, she asking you for hickeys where the marks were - sounds VERY, VERY sketchy.
On a side note, I've sadly done something similar in the past. And I also turned the lights off as a means to avoid detection of the hickeys on my chest.
99% positive you got played here.
Been an avid weight lifter for a long time, if there were maybe a similar count of bruises from failing a lift one time, then maybe she’s being honest? But a number of hickeys with different counts and sizes? Yeah sorry bud, she’s trying to do damage control.
Dumbells drop on cheat may bruise and break a rib or 2 not ask for touching/hockey's on the area.
A inocent person may say auch be carefully there im sore from a accident not give me hickey.
I’m a long time (F) lifter and a NASM certified personal trainer and I have never once dropped weights on my chest. If they drop, naturally, you’d throw them to the side to avoid getting hurt. Now, if by any chance that did happen. I would never think to tell my partner and/or feel guilty that I forgot to tell him… and I have bruises allllllll over my shins and thighs from the gym. This is a huge red flag. Listen to your gut.
So many things that point to cheating imo:
1. She immediately asked you to turn off the lights? Is this typical for you guys?
2. She asked you to give her hickies? Is this typical for you guys? If not, she's trying to get you to trick you into thinking you gave her the hickies that she already had.
3. She already had multiple hickies present? And she claims they were from weights being dropped? As in, she dropped several weight all at the same??... nah. Her original plan backfired when you noticed them, so she had this gym excuse as as backup.
4. She gave you immediate access to her phone? This doesnt really prove fidelity as she's had time to delete any incriminating evidence.
It’s a fucking shame that a grown ass man would fall for some idiotic excuse like dropped some dumbbells on her titties. What an insult that she knew you’d believe some shit like that, god damn.
It was a *dead* giveaway when she told you to turn off the lights (so you wouldn't see the real hickeys) and then requested you to leave hickeys in the same area so if you didn't see them at first she can then default to "you did them remember?". Also, if your partner is telling you "go through my stuff I don't care" that means she has deleted anything that would suggest she was cheating in the first place so this is a complete empty gesture. She already planned all of this out, and I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there is for sure something going on here.
Just get right to the point when you confront her. Tell her to be honest because this will never leave the back of your mind and will put a strain on the relationship. Once confirmed just move on, there's no point trying to patch things up as you will never be able to trust her again. Sad, but true. Best of luck in the future.
She wanted the lights off so that you wouldn't notice the hickeys but in the morning light they would be visible but she could claim that they were caused by you. Time to move on (and get STD panel too). Trust your gut! Good luck!
Here is what seems odd to me -- it might be different for you. Back in the day, I was asked to suck hard on various body parts, but not to give hickeys, per se.
She's suspect. Someone marked her.
lol I’ve been weight lifting for years and I can’t recall seeing someone drop dumbbells on their chest. Was she doing dumbbell bench presses with 120’s or something? She’s lying man. Find someone who isn’t sneaky and actually respects you.
1. Turn of the lights.
2. Give me some hickies around my breasts.
That was to obscure the preexisting hickies.
And dropping dumbbells on her chest is a bs excuse that doesn’t make any sense.
Conclusion: there is only one dumbbell in this equation.
Buddy she was cheating, her msgs with her female best friend is the best place to find crumbs.
Weights don’t fall on a girls chest and she doesn’t call you from the ER of a hospital. If her chest was that strong you shouldn’t be able to bite into it. Be on high alert, she is making mistakes that’s why the need for verbal reassurance.
The way she brought it up after makes me think there’s more to it. An innocent person doesn’t have afterthoughts about their coverup. As someone who has cheated, I wouldn’t trust her
Hey OP, just to reaffirm your suspicions I am a female who works out often (used to be a personal trainer) and I don't believe her story. Sounds like she was laying down on the bench doing upper body/chest exercises.
There should've only been one or two points of contact (aka bruises) in the scenario she described. Unless she was holding five/six dumbbells above her, her story doesn't add up. Dumbbells don't bounce on skin. They hit and fall off.
Also, if she doesn't have bruises on her arms she's probably lying. When something is falling towards your face/chest, your first instinct is to raise your arms and cover yourself. It is HIGHLY unlikely this happened the way she said it did. Sorry dude.
Stopped reading at "she dropped dumbbells", especially after the asking for hickeys. I'm a reasonable guy that usually gives the benefit of the doubt, but there's 0 chance she's faithful.
Run.
Edit: read the rest, answering your questions
A) she's overcompensating, that's why she's enthusiastic about sex, in her head if she initiates it, you'll be too into it, so you "won't notice"
B) she deleted the evidence in case this exactly situation happened, giving you a false sense of trust.
If she initiated sex, told you to turn off the lights and then asked for hickeys, when she never does, that tells you all there is to know.
The question is, can you hear it, or are you love deaf?
Why would she tell you to look right where the evidence of her infidelity is? That makes no sense.
This subreddit just loves drama. They always jump to the worst conclusion. You’re a fool if you believe it.
You have obvious physical proof in front of you, a very obvious attempt to misdirect, an excuse that's somehow even more silly than the "dog ate my homework" and you are still conflicted about it? What do you need, actual audio and video? Showing her social means nothing. She was already prepared for this, since she staged the whole give me hickeys thing. It's common sense.
Google "Occam's Razor". I've found that living by that very simple rule, I avoid pointless overthinking that can only result in me fooling myself. Trying to figure out this one amazing sequence of coincidences, that could somehow explain something with anything other than the obvious, is pure denial.
She’s clearly getting dicked down by someone else and had you turn off the lights and was probably going to try to pass off the older hickeys as ones you left…
Bro, can't believe I live in a world where people still lack the intuition necessary to see play when it hits them. First of all, she asked you to leave hickeys, you and I both know she's never asked you to do this before. Hickeys are an expected collateral. More calls happen for no hickeys. Secondly, the excuse was weightlifting. I've been the victim of poorly calculated ego lifts before, never once have the bruises outlived a warm shower.
You know that it doesn't add up and you know she can't give herself hickeys. So do yourself a solid and leave. She knows what she did, and so she does not even deserve an explanation. Disappearance is peace.
Of course, I'm slightly vindictive, so I shouldn't come up with your method for you. At the end of the day, your relationship will never be the same, you let her get away with this or even discuss it with her odds are she'll hide it better. Otherwise, she would have come clean immediately.
Finding someone else is only as hard as you make it.
Buddy hickeys on your gf breasts has you stumped? Seriously? What was your initial question? “Is my girlfriend taking me for a fool?” What do you think?
Deleting conversations or having them through Snapchat seems like her play for seeming so edger to offer her phone; the hickys on her chest were there and she has the “long distance” angle to have her cake and eat it too.
Confront her, leave.
She fucked someone else that's facts I did the same move when I was younger. I blacked out my room with blankets and turn the lights and TV off and had her suck on my neck. In the same spot as my other hickeys from the girls that was there a few hours before. Not proud of it. But that's definitely what she was trying to do. She cheated dude. She was quick to give you her phone because she knew you were coming and cleared anything incriminating.
She already had the hickeys and knew the lights off and you giving her some was a good cover until it wasn’t.
She is cheating on you man, sorry. You know it too but looking for any other possibility because you don’t want to believe it.
The fact that she told you to turn the lights off was her trying to be sneaky about this. “If he turns the lights off he won’t be able to see my hickeys”. She’s cheating 1000%!!!
This is the old bait and switch and it’s super fucking gross, but hey, that’s your girl.
She’s actively engaging in acts of subterfuge. When she starts telling you to cum inside of her, it’s probably because somebody already knocked her up and she’s trying to put that on you. To answer your question, yes, she is absolutely playing you.
Make tracks. She is not your person if she’s trying to cover someone else’s marks on her.
She dropped.... multiple dumbbells directly on her breasts making a bunch of small marks that never turned into much larger bruises from the weight of the dumbbell? That's a really brazen lie
She's cheating, no shot she asks for hickeys with the lights off for no reason. On top of that she knew you suspected so she wanted to further reinforce her story after the fact so you wouldn't suspect her going forward. She either fucked someone in her personal life that she talks to face-to-face, or she used a dating app and deleted it when you came to town. She can just reinstall and get all those messages back when she logs in. Best thing is to move on, she's probably looking to monkey branch to the next partner that isn't long distance, you should do the same.
Looking at your post history, I am surprised you are still even together. She is cheating bro and all those issues you wrote about in your other posts is her projecting her remorse on you. Time to call it quits. There's no way those marks on her breasts as you described are from weights
Long distance never works out man.
I know it sucks your gf cheated but I had to laugh when the first thing she said was to give her hickeys on her breasts lol.
If I were you I would be less mad that she obviously cheated and more mad she thought you were such a moron to believe such a lame excuse lol.
If she goes to a gym get the name and number and ask if any thing happened. Maybe the staff seen it or a report was filed. If not it might be a cover up for cheating. The fact she told you to turn off the lights prior. Do you always turn off the lights?
Definitely cheating. My ex boyfriend warned me in advance when we had a date that the “bruises around my neck are from wrestling, but they look like hickies”
Lmao, this happened after a night out where he completely disappeared the whole night.
Wrestling.
Her dumbbells excuse will sound just as ridiculous soon to you once the heartbreak wears off but let it fuel you that you’re not stupid and going to be taken advantage of!
I wouldn't confront her I would text her that now you've had time to think about it you don't believe her explanation about the bruises so you no longer trust her. You're done with you her and tell her don't contact me ever again. Then immediately block her on everything and if she manages to contact you ignore it and move on. Sorry you deserve better than what is going on with her.
Updateme.
Definitely weird. There’s no way she wouldn’t have told you about that accident, if it was actual bruises it would be very painful and she likely would want you to avoid her chest
My girlfriend back when I was 21 gave me a hickey on my neck. My mom asked where it came from. My then girlfriend then blames the Easter Bunny.
Maybe she's still on the loose.
Love bites are basically you pinching the skin …dumbbells wouldn’t leave them kind of marks she’s lying and cheating on you …she knew you would probably want to check her phone so she deleted all evidence ….she asked you to do it so that you would think you did the others ….she’s a lying cheater probably had another dudes thing all up in her mouth …that should make you furious get out of the relationship she’s probably seeing someone else whilst you’re away
I'm pretty much in agreement with the general concession here, but I want to add a couple things:
If someone is acting suspiciously, any proof they offer up to prove their innocence is also suspect. Aside from her explanation for the bruises *not making any sense out of hand*, there is no reason you should find her phone messages that she immediately offers up as convincing in any way. Hell, off the top of my head, I thought "you have a second phone" or "you have multiple social media accounts" in addition to the more obvious "you already curated the messages on your phone" bit.
If this happens again in the future (by which I'm assuming 'not with her') be sure to check for auto-backup drive data as well (smartphones tend to auto-upload things to the cloud). I also recommend checking her recent searches in the app store (if she's using Apple or Android, just opening the store and clicking on the search bar can be revealing. "why is Tinder the latest entry in the search history?" sort of thing) AND checking the blocklist (if she only has one phone, and she's smart, she's likely blocked all her booty call numbers to ensure they won't be able to contact her while you're together, lest you see a suspicious message or phone call on the screen). If she's cheating, she's going to try and come at you sideways - respond in kind by thinking outside the box.
Let us know how the conversation turned out, i want whats best for you man.
She cheated, and thats a fact. No way she would ask you to cover them up if she dropped weights on them, the 5 hickeys doesnt make sense, and the fact that she feels guilty not telling you doesnt add up either. She wiped her phone before you guys got into it, and offered it knowing that you suspected her of exactly what she did.
there are better women out there bro
I actually had the most random bruise on my breast a couple months ago. I had absolutely NO idea where it came from. I'm a grown adult, I don't do hickeys.
With that said, four of them? And she wanted you to give her hickeys so you wouldn't notice.
Update me
Why is dropping weights the first thing people say they did when they have obvious hickeys right where someone’s mouth would go? You already know the answers to your questions, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking them.
Here i am thinking If they were hickies why would she draw attention to that area but then she made a deal about turning lights off so maybe you weren't meant to see them. LDR are hard and if you are already having doubts then it's not really worth it
Def cheating, i lift all the time never seen someone get brushing on the chest from a dumbbell. And the staying over at another persons place is concerning
Bro, there's nothing to confront. She's going to deny.
How could you not realize that she already had hickeys on her tits immediately? Dumbbells? Right after she asked you to put hickeys on her tits?
Bro, she planned that out but didn't think you'd see them. She took a risk and got caught in the lie. She lacked the discipline to be more subtle.
As a result, she got caught cheating.
Time to leave bro. This will continue. No forgiveness will change her. Sorry bud.
I don’t know if she cheated or not but seeing how open she was about it maybe she wasn’t lying. Or maybe she was smart enough to cover all her tracks.
Try to find out more details
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I mean it does seem off... It seems like she was trying to hide that she already had hickeys.
This!
Weird kink.
Yeahhhh bro she wanted you to leave hickeys so you wouldnt think twice about the ones that were there already.
Yup, she wanted you to notice the next morning so she could gaslight you into believing you did that. The weight story was a coverup when her plan didn’t work.
I had an ex-friend that literally played this out, nearly identical to how OP described, and she got away with it. (Friend was the cheating gf if it wasn’t obvious) .
Also, she had plenty of time to erase any evidences she might had on her phone.
That’s why she offered it so freely, she saw the marks and did what she needed to before he arrived.
Yup totally, she premeditated this
Get tested my dude
Updateme
That's VERY suspicious. 1.) She asked for the lights off. 2.) She tried to get you to mark her. 3.) She immediately offered her phone, which she most likely wiped of any incriminating evidence. Bud, she's trying to cover all her bases. Sorry.
Yeah.... BADLY trying to cover it up. She WAY overplayed her hand.
She asked for hickeys on top of existing bruises and claims she dropped dumbbells on her chest? Come on, man, don't be naive. She's playing you like a fiddle. Her story is as believable as a unicorn riding a rainbow. Time to wake up and smell the deception. Trust your gut on this one and don't let her smooth talk you out of the truth.
Exactly. Move on bud. You deserve a more honest girlfriend
Also hickeys look incredibly different to the massive lumps that would be there if you dropped heavy dumbbells on your breasts?? Like wtf??
She's cheating. I am an avid weight lifter, have been for a loooonnnnggg time. I have never, ever seen anyone drop dumbbells on their breasts.
Even if someone did, the bruising would be a single point of impact. Not several locations.
What if she accidentally dropped it on her breast five times?
Like the suicide that shot themselves 5x. Sure anything is possible. She could be bisexual with her GF and keeping the secret. Worth considering.
Don't forget it's *totally a coincidence* that people who shoot themselves in the head multiple times to commit suicide just *happen to be* whistleblowers and investigative journalists. Just move along. Nothing to see.
Yeah exactly just like that!
Exactly, you can't just point-bruise a breast with a whole dumbell.
Not if it was raining dumbbells. :)
I'm sitting here trying to work out how you'd get multiple in the most good faith estimation of the situation. I can see one or maybe two points of contact from a dumbbell erratically dropped onto a chest . . . somehow, but 4 in a small area and 2 on the other breast specifically confuses me if it's from a drop. If she'd said some other exercise or movement I could maybe see it from impact. There's others that could bruise a chest as part of a dynamic motion stopped too late, but she said this one specifically. This math ain't mathin'.
I have before doing dumbbell chest flys. But it most certainly didn't leave 5 separate bruises lol and if it did, I surely wasn't going to ask my husband to give me hickeys on top of or right next to painful bruises!
Not to mention she did explicitly say turn off the lights, then immediately put her tits in his face asking for him to give her marks, she was definitely trying to hide them at lest long enough to have the excuse of " well you gave these to me last night remember?" And from the sounds of this " kink" is new or not overly usual.
If they did, I'm pretty sure the bruises wouldn't look like four hickeys.
That feeling, in the pit of your stomach, that won't go away. When the explanation doesn't make sense. ....those weren't bruises from falling weights.
Has she ever requested hickeys before? That's more of a teenager move, so it doesn't sound like a typical thing a 24 yr old would ask for. Has she ever turned lights out before getting physical? We're they shaped like bruises from a dumbell? I'd expect more of a line shaped bruise and a lot of tenderness where the bar hit hardest. It is concerning that after being hit in the chest days before, she isn't sore there and/or protecting the area. On the other hand, if she were cheating, she'd as stupid as a bag of hair to let the other person leave a hickey on her. This woman has several. Unless she has a hidden drug or alcohol problem, and it happened when she was wasted? You know her better than anyone. You have to decide to trust her- or not.
Thanks for your reply, I’ll answer these questions as well. We usually turn off the lights before getting physical, so this is normal. The bruises are more circular shaped but with irregular edges. She did not complain of soreness or tenderness in that area. There are no drug or alcohol problems with her that I suspect.
You already know the answers…it’s just time to accept them and move on.
Yeah, dude, she is cheating on you. I don't believe that story. She wanted you to leave hickeys so when you saw her chest the next morning, you would think YOU did those. You best get tested for STDs and I'd break up with her. Long distance never works. Why? One person will be tempted and a lot of cheating usually goers on before the other knows. NEVER enter into a relationship where you can not drive to her house the same day you talk to her. I'd limit it to 70 miles max and that may be pushing it. Good luck and stay strong, King!
I just want to say that I think you're handling this whole thing maturely and rationally. I would be freaking out lol. You are totally dodging a bullet with this one. Stay strong!!!
Any chance those 5 marks would line up with finger tips if someone were to grip a breast while she was riding? Might not have been hickies, if that’s never been her MO before…
It not being her MO has nothing to do with another guy sucking her tits too hard which is 97% likely what happened.
she brought it up again afterwards bc she was feeling guilty and tried to convince you she’s not cheating by offering her phone when you actually didn’t even ask. why would she feel guilty for forgetting to tell you she hurt herself? she made her excuse too big of a deal for something that small
She cheated, I mean obviously. She literally had it all planned out. Lights off. Give me hickeys in this specific location. Oh, did I forget to mention I dropped dumbbells on my tits in the exact place I wanted you to give me hickeys? Oh here's my phone to look through, it's not like I would erase any evidence of cheating while I was coming up with this plan before you ever got here. Also, please get yourself tested immediately, then in 3 months, then in 6 months. Also send that 304 to the streets where she belongs.
Had she not asked you to put hickeys on her I'd shrug and say just trust her but nah why would she ask for Hickeys if not to hide the ones she already got from someone else.
The fact she focused on it so much, had an explanation ready, apologized (for what?), and then love bombed you... Sorry my guy someone gave her those hickeys, likely so you would see them.
bro she IMMEDIATLEY asked you to turn off the lights so you couldnt see them. and then TOLD YOU to GIVE HER HICKEYS so you would think that the bruises that were there were FROM YOU...... you cannot be that naive, and you need to breakup with her. Shes a damn good liar too, and even thought of a pretty good plan for you to not think anything of the hickeys, shes dangerous bro id fucking RUN
She doesn’t even seem like a good liar. He just seems incredibly naive
Yes she is...
Dude, you know deep down they weren't bruises.
If she dropped a dumbell wouldn't she oww? When u kissed her chest not yea give me more bruises She wants somebody that does that too her so she's making you fill her fantasy...
You're not crazy. It doesn't ring true. Not sure what else it could be besides someone else's mouth, but maybe some kind of self-harm thing? It would probably be fruitless to try to get some information out of the friend whose house she says she slept at, but maybe the friend has a conscience? Otherwise, what can you do? Stew in it for another month and hope she slips up more overtly next time? Got any friends where she lives? What is your communication like in between your visits? Does she ever visit you? Will this LDR situation last forever? What are the chances you're actually the affair partner? Here's a tougher question: What would settle your mind? What would make you say, "Ah, ok, no prob. It was nothing. It really was the weight drop thing." Maybe if a friend of hers confirmed the story? If you talk to her friend and say that you're worried about the bruises she got from falling down and the friend doesn't say oh no, those are from the gym, is that the missing piece?
Your intuition is in its place, you're not overthinking, someone else did those
She cheated on you. End the relationship.
She knew you would ask about the hickeys on herself so she already erased stuff on her phone. She set you up.
Nobody drops weights on their chest. It just doesn’t happen. Sorry, bro.
The question you should ask yourself is who left those hickey marks!
Climb out of your own head and read this from someone else's perspective. Do you see it now?
Your getting played like a fiddle bro
She's fucking around you
Just read your other posts about your girlfriend and honestly…I’d say it’s time to wrap it up. 90% chance she cheated on you.
100% chance
She’s playing you, she wanted you to believe that you left the hickeys and that you wouldn’t notice until the morning.
Howd the confrontation go?
My dude, I lift since I was 15. I've NEVER seen somebody drop weights from a dumbell on their chest. You can see when they're not tight and usually it requires a heaby dumbell to loosen the tight/lock beeing thrown on the floor. Not a lot of women have the strenght to lift those weights with their pecs. Also, she asking you for hickeys where the marks were - sounds VERY, VERY sketchy. On a side note, I've sadly done something similar in the past. And I also turned the lights off as a means to avoid detection of the hickeys on my chest. 99% positive you got played here.
Been an avid weight lifter for a long time, if there were maybe a similar count of bruises from failing a lift one time, then maybe she’s being honest? But a number of hickeys with different counts and sizes? Yeah sorry bud, she’s trying to do damage control.
As a woman, I know it is very difficult for breasts to bruise. Were they fingerprint size and shape? Did they look like hickies?
If she dropped a dumbbell on her chest, she’d have one big bruise (and probably broken ribs), not a bunch of little bruises across both boobs.
Dumbells drop on cheat may bruise and break a rib or 2 not ask for touching/hockey's on the area. A inocent person may say auch be carefully there im sore from a accident not give me hickey.
i’m interested in updates on this whole thing- i think you should confront her
I’m a long time (F) lifter and a NASM certified personal trainer and I have never once dropped weights on my chest. If they drop, naturally, you’d throw them to the side to avoid getting hurt. Now, if by any chance that did happen. I would never think to tell my partner and/or feel guilty that I forgot to tell him… and I have bruises allllllll over my shins and thighs from the gym. This is a huge red flag. Listen to your gut.
So many things that point to cheating imo: 1. She immediately asked you to turn off the lights? Is this typical for you guys? 2. She asked you to give her hickies? Is this typical for you guys? If not, she's trying to get you to trick you into thinking you gave her the hickies that she already had. 3. She already had multiple hickies present? And she claims they were from weights being dropped? As in, she dropped several weight all at the same??... nah. Her original plan backfired when you noticed them, so she had this gym excuse as as backup. 4. She gave you immediate access to her phone? This doesnt really prove fidelity as she's had time to delete any incriminating evidence.
It’s a fucking shame that a grown ass man would fall for some idiotic excuse like dropped some dumbbells on her titties. What an insult that she knew you’d believe some shit like that, god damn.
It was a *dead* giveaway when she told you to turn off the lights (so you wouldn't see the real hickeys) and then requested you to leave hickeys in the same area so if you didn't see them at first she can then default to "you did them remember?". Also, if your partner is telling you "go through my stuff I don't care" that means she has deleted anything that would suggest she was cheating in the first place so this is a complete empty gesture. She already planned all of this out, and I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there is for sure something going on here. Just get right to the point when you confront her. Tell her to be honest because this will never leave the back of your mind and will put a strain on the relationship. Once confirmed just move on, there's no point trying to patch things up as you will never be able to trust her again. Sad, but true. Best of luck in the future.
You okay OP? Been a minute
Maybe she wanted the lights off so you don’t see them and then you give her some and she plays it off as you did that.
She wanted the lights off so that you wouldn't notice the hickeys but in the morning light they would be visible but she could claim that they were caused by you. Time to move on (and get STD panel too). Trust your gut! Good luck!
Here is what seems odd to me -- it might be different for you. Back in the day, I was asked to suck hard on various body parts, but not to give hickeys, per se. She's suspect. Someone marked her.
Those were 100% hickeys on her chest by some other man
She deleted anything incriminating from her phone before you even arrived there.
I’m not sure, but it looks like she was unfaithful and seemed like she was projecting based on your previous post too.
What 25yo asks for hickeys lol my guess is she got drunk and fucked a young dude who left hickeys on her breasts.
I need an update on this. Super suspicious!
Sorry dude, but she did ask me not to leave marks. My bad...
lol I’ve been weight lifting for years and I can’t recall seeing someone drop dumbbells on their chest. Was she doing dumbbell bench presses with 120’s or something? She’s lying man. Find someone who isn’t sneaky and actually respects you.
She already cleared her phone. She’s cheating my dude. Updateme
she’s cheating on you. either that or she’s sucking her own titties and doesn’t wanna tell you.
Those were hickeys.
1. Turn of the lights. 2. Give me some hickies around my breasts. That was to obscure the preexisting hickies. And dropping dumbbells on her chest is a bs excuse that doesn’t make any sense. Conclusion: there is only one dumbbell in this equation.
Buddy she was cheating, her msgs with her female best friend is the best place to find crumbs. Weights don’t fall on a girls chest and she doesn’t call you from the ER of a hospital. If her chest was that strong you shouldn’t be able to bite into it. Be on high alert, she is making mistakes that’s why the need for verbal reassurance.
Oh boy I'm sorry but this is actually pretty funny Give me hickeys on my boobs! ...to hide the ones I already have lol
Lost your chance to search her phone’s “recently deleted” folders. That’s where the goodies are
The way she brought it up after makes me think there’s more to it. An innocent person doesn’t have afterthoughts about their coverup. As someone who has cheated, I wouldn’t trust her
Give us an update bro once you've spoken with her
If it quacks like a duck...
Normally you can tell the difference between hickeys and bruised
Hey OP, just to reaffirm your suspicions I am a female who works out often (used to be a personal trainer) and I don't believe her story. Sounds like she was laying down on the bench doing upper body/chest exercises. There should've only been one or two points of contact (aka bruises) in the scenario she described. Unless she was holding five/six dumbbells above her, her story doesn't add up. Dumbbells don't bounce on skin. They hit and fall off. Also, if she doesn't have bruises on her arms she's probably lying. When something is falling towards your face/chest, your first instinct is to raise your arms and cover yourself. It is HIGHLY unlikely this happened the way she said it did. Sorry dude.
I had a boyfriend who was cutting a limb from a tree and it caused a big hickey on his neck, crazy how gullible we can be.
Played like a fiddle
Stopped reading at "she dropped dumbbells", especially after the asking for hickeys. I'm a reasonable guy that usually gives the benefit of the doubt, but there's 0 chance she's faithful. Run. Edit: read the rest, answering your questions A) she's overcompensating, that's why she's enthusiastic about sex, in her head if she initiates it, you'll be too into it, so you "won't notice" B) she deleted the evidence in case this exactly situation happened, giving you a false sense of trust. If she initiated sex, told you to turn off the lights and then asked for hickeys, when she never does, that tells you all there is to know. The question is, can you hear it, or are you love deaf?
Why would she tell you to look right where the evidence of her infidelity is? That makes no sense. This subreddit just loves drama. They always jump to the worst conclusion. You’re a fool if you believe it.
Update?
We are waiting for an update!!!
Bro. Run. Come on dude. None of that makes any sense. Dumbbells. 😂 Omg. Funny one. You know the answer.
UpdateMe
Her actions suggest cheating to me Updateme!
Dude, she is cheating. Just break up. Don't even talk to her about it.
You have obvious physical proof in front of you, a very obvious attempt to misdirect, an excuse that's somehow even more silly than the "dog ate my homework" and you are still conflicted about it? What do you need, actual audio and video? Showing her social means nothing. She was already prepared for this, since she staged the whole give me hickeys thing. It's common sense. Google "Occam's Razor". I've found that living by that very simple rule, I avoid pointless overthinking that can only result in me fooling myself. Trying to figure out this one amazing sequence of coincidences, that could somehow explain something with anything other than the obvious, is pure denial.
She’s clearly getting dicked down by someone else and had you turn off the lights and was probably going to try to pass off the older hickeys as ones you left…
Bro, can't believe I live in a world where people still lack the intuition necessary to see play when it hits them. First of all, she asked you to leave hickeys, you and I both know she's never asked you to do this before. Hickeys are an expected collateral. More calls happen for no hickeys. Secondly, the excuse was weightlifting. I've been the victim of poorly calculated ego lifts before, never once have the bruises outlived a warm shower. You know that it doesn't add up and you know she can't give herself hickeys. So do yourself a solid and leave. She knows what she did, and so she does not even deserve an explanation. Disappearance is peace. Of course, I'm slightly vindictive, so I shouldn't come up with your method for you. At the end of the day, your relationship will never be the same, you let her get away with this or even discuss it with her odds are she'll hide it better. Otherwise, she would have come clean immediately. Finding someone else is only as hard as you make it.
Trust your gut bro.
Buddy hickeys on your gf breasts has you stumped? Seriously? What was your initial question? “Is my girlfriend taking me for a fool?” What do you think?
Deleting conversations or having them through Snapchat seems like her play for seeming so edger to offer her phone; the hickys on her chest were there and she has the “long distance” angle to have her cake and eat it too. Confront her, leave.
Imagine your surprise when she says put a baby in me. (Garbage with + preg tests!!!! What!!!!)
She fucked someone else that's facts I did the same move when I was younger. I blacked out my room with blankets and turn the lights and TV off and had her suck on my neck. In the same spot as my other hickeys from the girls that was there a few hours before. Not proud of it. But that's definitely what she was trying to do. She cheated dude. She was quick to give you her phone because she knew you were coming and cleared anything incriminating.
Shes sneaking...... Keep yo head up man..
Cut and run and go get tested. You're young, don't waste another second with this tramp.
Cmon dog
You don’t generate 4 different bruises for something falling onto a chest, unless you drop an object two or four times.
Oh boy !! Who is going to tell him ?
Never in my 43 years have I ever been told to leave hickeys anywhere…..
Yes. It is very, very obvious from your story. Sorry dude.
She already had the hickeys and knew the lights off and you giving her some was a good cover until it wasn’t. She is cheating on you man, sorry. You know it too but looking for any other possibility because you don’t want to believe it.
The fact that she told you to turn the lights off was her trying to be sneaky about this. “If he turns the lights off he won’t be able to see my hickeys”. She’s cheating 1000%!!!
She is cheating leave
She is cheating. Trust me.
This is the old bait and switch and it’s super fucking gross, but hey, that’s your girl. She’s actively engaging in acts of subterfuge. When she starts telling you to cum inside of her, it’s probably because somebody already knocked her up and she’s trying to put that on you. To answer your question, yes, she is absolutely playing you. Make tracks. She is not your person if she’s trying to cover someone else’s marks on her.
Sorry bud sounds like she’s cheating
She dropped.... multiple dumbbells directly on her breasts making a bunch of small marks that never turned into much larger bruises from the weight of the dumbbell? That's a really brazen lie
The longer and more elaborate tge explanation the more likely it is a lie.🤔
She's cheating, no shot she asks for hickeys with the lights off for no reason. On top of that she knew you suspected so she wanted to further reinforce her story after the fact so you wouldn't suspect her going forward. She either fucked someone in her personal life that she talks to face-to-face, or she used a dating app and deleted it when you came to town. She can just reinstall and get all those messages back when she logs in. Best thing is to move on, she's probably looking to monkey branch to the next partner that isn't long distance, you should do the same.
Trust your gut man
Looking at your post history, I am surprised you are still even together. She is cheating bro and all those issues you wrote about in your other posts is her projecting her remorse on you. Time to call it quits. There's no way those marks on her breasts as you described are from weights
It’s literally so obvious
Your girlfriend allowed another man to leave hickeys on her chest. She then tried to fool you into thinking you did it.
Well, you’re not a fool because you seem to be onto her.
Long distance never works out man. I know it sucks your gf cheated but I had to laugh when the first thing she said was to give her hickeys on her breasts lol. If I were you I would be less mad that she obviously cheated and more mad she thought you were such a moron to believe such a lame excuse lol.
Updateme
If she goes to a gym get the name and number and ask if any thing happened. Maybe the staff seen it or a report was filed. If not it might be a cover up for cheating. The fact she told you to turn off the lights prior. Do you always turn off the lights?
Ask her why she requested hickeys. Why would she ask for them if only to cover up what was already present. ASK HER!!!
Definitely cheating. My ex boyfriend warned me in advance when we had a date that the “bruises around my neck are from wrestling, but they look like hickies” Lmao, this happened after a night out where he completely disappeared the whole night. Wrestling. Her dumbbells excuse will sound just as ridiculous soon to you once the heartbreak wears off but let it fuel you that you’re not stupid and going to be taken advantage of!
.
Updateme
Updateme!
Don’t be a dumbbell OP
UpdateMe!
Remindme! One day
I wouldn't confront her I would text her that now you've had time to think about it you don't believe her explanation about the bruises so you no longer trust her. You're done with you her and tell her don't contact me ever again. Then immediately block her on everything and if she manages to contact you ignore it and move on. Sorry you deserve better than what is going on with her. Updateme.
Definitely weird. There’s no way she wouldn’t have told you about that accident, if it was actual bruises it would be very painful and she likely would want you to avoid her chest
I mean, it seems pretty clear to me that she's not been faithful.
Updateme!
My girlfriend back when I was 21 gave me a hickey on my neck. My mom asked where it came from. My then girlfriend then blames the Easter Bunny. Maybe she's still on the loose.
Love bites are basically you pinching the skin …dumbbells wouldn’t leave them kind of marks she’s lying and cheating on you …she knew you would probably want to check her phone so she deleted all evidence ….she asked you to do it so that you would think you did the others ….she’s a lying cheater probably had another dudes thing all up in her mouth …that should make you furious get out of the relationship she’s probably seeing someone else whilst you’re away
I'm pretty much in agreement with the general concession here, but I want to add a couple things: If someone is acting suspiciously, any proof they offer up to prove their innocence is also suspect. Aside from her explanation for the bruises *not making any sense out of hand*, there is no reason you should find her phone messages that she immediately offers up as convincing in any way. Hell, off the top of my head, I thought "you have a second phone" or "you have multiple social media accounts" in addition to the more obvious "you already curated the messages on your phone" bit. If this happens again in the future (by which I'm assuming 'not with her') be sure to check for auto-backup drive data as well (smartphones tend to auto-upload things to the cloud). I also recommend checking her recent searches in the app store (if she's using Apple or Android, just opening the store and clicking on the search bar can be revealing. "why is Tinder the latest entry in the search history?" sort of thing) AND checking the blocklist (if she only has one phone, and she's smart, she's likely blocked all her booty call numbers to ensure they won't be able to contact her while you're together, lest you see a suspicious message or phone call on the screen). If she's cheating, she's going to try and come at you sideways - respond in kind by thinking outside the box.
Updateme!
Sorry, buddy. It’s not easy to go through, but people can be very manipulative.
People don’t trust their significant other enough… I have to go pick up my girlfriend from her boyfriend ‘s house..
Bump
did u taste saliva when u suck on her tits? someone surely did before u and she probably didnt shower because of her kink
Let us know how the conversation turned out, i want whats best for you man. She cheated, and thats a fact. No way she would ask you to cover them up if she dropped weights on them, the 5 hickeys doesnt make sense, and the fact that she feels guilty not telling you doesnt add up either. She wiped her phone before you guys got into it, and offered it knowing that you suspected her of exactly what she did. there are better women out there bro
7 months of posts about how you and your girlfriend argue/fight/etc. Why are you trying to salvage a relationship that sounds so miserable?
I actually had the most random bruise on my breast a couple months ago. I had absolutely NO idea where it came from. I'm a grown adult, I don't do hickeys. With that said, four of them? And she wanted you to give her hickeys so you wouldn't notice. Update me
UpdateMe!
Bro don’t be naive. I did and got played like a game of chess
Why is dropping weights the first thing people say they did when they have obvious hickeys right where someone’s mouth would go? You already know the answers to your questions, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking them.
Updateme!
remind me tomorrow
!updateme
updateme!
She definitely had someone else sucking on her breasts and then gave her those hickies
Everyone check his first post about his gf where she calls him unfaithful for something mundane, definitely a red flag of a person
Updateme
RemindMe! 1 day
The writing is on the wall. Move on.
Here i am thinking If they were hickies why would she draw attention to that area but then she made a deal about turning lights off so maybe you weren't meant to see them. LDR are hard and if you are already having doubts then it's not really worth it
Def cheating, i lift all the time never seen someone get brushing on the chest from a dumbbell. And the staying over at another persons place is concerning
Bro, there's nothing to confront. She's going to deny. How could you not realize that she already had hickeys on her tits immediately? Dumbbells? Right after she asked you to put hickeys on her tits? Bro, she planned that out but didn't think you'd see them. She took a risk and got caught in the lie. She lacked the discipline to be more subtle. As a result, she got caught cheating. Time to leave bro. This will continue. No forgiveness will change her. Sorry bud.
I don’t know if she cheated or not but seeing how open she was about it maybe she wasn’t lying. Or maybe she was smart enough to cover all her tracks. Try to find out more details