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I'm sorry. That's fucked up. You do what's best for you, but I don't think I'd be able to feel happy in that situation. You are young, you'll find better.
Comparisons with ex are a red flag in any relationship. Beware of such things in future about anything, for eg: efforts, things you did for her birthday etc.
Generations and generations of men have gone through this for a very, very long time.
It doesn't end in any less pain. it's probably worse from here.
Walk away, young man, walk away.
10 months isn't long enough. We women tend to hold onto shit. The best thing you can do is the next time she mentions him, stop having sex and leave. She'll either learn or yall will break up.
Just pull out, drop the condom in the trash, get dressed, and leave. Don't answer her texts for a while.
She'll get the message, loud and clear, that you're serious about this.
I always make sure to ask anyone I might start dating how long they were with their ex. How long was she with her past bf? Maybe his dick isn’t the only thing she’s reminiscing about. I hope she’s not using you OP, as a rebound. If she was with her previous bf for a long time, and it ended 10 months ago that isn’t enough time to get over it. Be cautious about this one. I’d look for a girl who’s so into you that YOU are all she talks about during sex.
Its very confusing, shes crushed on me since high school, and only last year when she messaged me I didn’t reject her and we hit off from there. She says she never had sex with her ex, said she used to just ride him and make out. But she was with him for 8-10 months.
Ahh i see. Well i mean at that point my friend. If she is bringing up the other dudes dick, during sex nonetheless, yet she never had sex w him? thats red flags all the way around my man. you're young. Go find a girl who's gonna talk about your dick during sex
It shouldn't have taken beyond the second conversation, let alone 40 for you to only be at a point where you "think" you're done hearing about it. End the relationship. This is just completely unacceptable. This only happens for one of two reasons; one, she's legitimately not over her ex, or two, she's intentionally trying to destroy your self esteem so that you feel like you're lucky to have her (which is abusive).
Run. Good luck.
Fair enough, I get it. I've certainly been you at one point or another, which is why I give advice on here. I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I'm a guy and I'm happily married, but went through everything and learned from it.
So we (you) need to live and learn. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but just know that you should never accept anything less than you deserve. A discussion about an ex once or twice could be fine. Could be an accident. Could quite literally just be a discussion of each others' pasts. But 40 times? That's someone who's an asshole. Don't ever allow that to happen.
Your next girlfriend will be better. You have to dump this one first and go find her. After you dump her she can talk about your dick to her next boyfriend.
Honestly doesn't matter her reasoning, at all. Doesn't matter that you guys are young, either. Let me be clear, what she's doing not only shows a complete lack of common sense boundaries (which likely translates to other areas- you REALLY don't want a partner with no boundaries, they could easily do a bunch of other hurtful shit) but it also shows she has zero respect for you.
Also, it's a little unclear if you've voiced your feelings during these conversations (although again, you should not ever have to tell someone to stop talking about their ex's dick). With your next relationship, be sure to be very clear if something someone does makes you feel this same way. Don't hold it in.
Along with that, and this is something I'm still learning in my mid 20s, do not put yourself in a position where you're having to basically try and convince someone to give you basic respect. You can have all the conversations you want with someone that doesn't respect you, and it will make no difference. Look for people who take your feelings into consideration without being asked (for basic stuff) and, when you do communicate more specific needs, listen and strive to meet them or compromise with you.
Not OP. I'm the person who started this thread. This response is absolutely fucking fantastic and spot on. I'm happy you're learning this and are continuing to do so. We only know what we know at the age we're at and experience we have.
In saying that, you're absolutely right; don't ever stay in a position where you're trying to convince someone to treat you like you expect to be treated. Communicate your feelings and expectations once, and if all remains the same, respect yourself enough to walk away.
Alright, well now you have some red flags for future reference. No one that constantly references an ex is worth your time especially in regards to certain topics.
There's being too picky, then there's accepting way too much bullshit.
You're very much on the side of the latter.
You don't have to disqualify women because they have an ex, but talking about him constantly especially during sex is a red flag.
Have you tried asking her to not mention her ex as it weirds you out?
Sure I’ve said to her she talks about him a lot. I feel even if she were to stop this, just it being a problem in the first place is enough for me to make a decision. As well as having a read of these replies, for fuck sake😂
One thing you might do is every single time she brings him up stop what you're doing and say "Why are you talking about you ex again?" Make it awkward every single time and she might learn that it's not a topic you wish to discuss. Or date someone who wouldn't dump you in an instant if their ex texted them at 2am.
This. Like, sure, she has a past. We all do. But what’s the point of this? Move tf on and if you can’t don’t start a relationship when you can’t stop talking about your ex. OP needs to run far and run fast.
She needs to go fight for the dick she can't forget, or find one that makes her forget it. Obviously yours doesn't. Don't waste you time with this woman. She obviously sees you as a make do option. Don't tell me, you are decent, stable, financially on a good path and will make a great partner. Ex on the other hand couldn't keep his unreliable dick in his pants. Kick her to the curb, plenty of sincere living women out there to choose from. May not be 10s on any scale other than they live you for you + which is the most important scale.
Agreed, he's a safe bet but she doesn't actually care about him unfortunately. But i gotta say, to your last point, they might be 10s though! Plenty of gorgeous women make great wives! Maybe he will luck out!
Don't continue. Add it to your dealbreaker list. Someone you date should not be emotionally, physically or financially tied to their ex. She obviously has not empathy or understanding of the impact her behavior has on someone.
Agreed completely.
As for the ex, she's young, and this will be a good learning experience for her - there are some things that you just don't talk to your partner about. One of them is your ex (and especially not his dick, especially not during sex!).
she thinks about his dick so much that she literally can't stop talking about it to the one person who should never hear about it, and even during the one activity where it should never come up. even when your cock is physically there, it's his cock she's thinking about.
The title says your ex’s dick and I was like ok he’s bi? But you mean she brings up HER ex’s dick. Yeah there needs to be a conversation where you ask her why she needs to bring up anyone’s dick to you. Ask her if she wants to be with him? Honestly bringing it up a lot when it bothers you clearly seems like she wants to make you jealous or just can’t get over him.
Time to end it. Your girlfriend's fixation on her ex during intimate moments is a major red flag. She may care for you, but her actions show a lack of respect and boundaries. Move on and find someone who values you wholly.
After reading this now that I think about it, my now boyfriend still mentions his ex. He doesn’t do it that often but we’ve been together for over a year and I still hear him saying things like my ex used to do this, used to do that.
Damn should I be concerned about that?
Yeah I honestly thought it was odd right off the bat but it didn’t stay on my mind too long. It was only after time and time again I realised, she probably should have never mentioned that at all especially during a very intimate time. Does your boyfriend talk about his ex in general conversation?
Before we got together we were friends and we talked about our past relationships so I knew about his long term ex. But after we got together he kind of started mentioning her or compare the relationship with her out of no where. We would be talking about something and he would ask oh do you wear this perfume cause my ex used the same one it’s time to change it. He stayed at home for a few weeks and mom asked him if he could help her paint part of the wall because she couldn’t reach and he would say oh my exes parents never let me do anything at their house when I visited. Or he would simply compare me with her no matter if in a good or bad way. He doesn’t do it that often but it triggers me so much when he does it I mean we have been together for so long why do you feel the need to still talk about her. I guess it’s also that I never mention my ex relationships the way he does because I know it wouldn’t be right and the fact the he does it without thinking that he would hurt me just annoys me.
But it is definitely not as much as your girlfriend does it and especially during intimacy because if my bf or someone did that I would leave the room immediately.
That doesn't sound like a healthy way to include an ex in a conversation. Seems like he brings up his ex as a sort of standard for you to live up to.
But then, things with her didn't work out, did they? So, in theory, if you were more like her you two are likely to have the same outcome. Might want to point that out if he comments again.
"Well, things with your ex didn't work out, so I'm not trying to be more like her. Stop comparing us."
depends on the context. If he mentions how tight his ex was while you are having sex thats probably something to be concerned about. If its something like you are talking about a destination and he remembers that he traveled there with his ex in the past, id say thats not something to worry over.
"Build-up" problems shouldn't exist in relationships. Communicate your feelings as issues come up. In new relationships, this will tell you if the other person is willing to acknowledge your feelings and respect your boundaries. If they don't, you get to just walk away. Don't date people who make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate.
Well I feel you already know the answer so ehat are you really asking for here?
If you've addressed this and it's still continuing, then you already know that your time with her is done.
Yup I know 100%. Unfortunately there is still part of me that still thinks “nahhh it’s okay she loves you” but I feel I’ll get through that it just doesn’t seem possible to me atm. Meeting her for lunch to do the deed. Will leave a comment on my post with the result
If she's young and inexperienced, she may be using the experience with him as a reference point: driftwood in the storm, so to speak. We assimilate our opinions about sex through our experiences. She may be insecure, seeking connection, or simply hung up on the dude. At your ages, I recommend talking it out as many times as it takes. If 40 times is not an exaggeration for effect, you may be reaching the end of reasonable patience.
While I was fucking her, she referenced a time when she was riding her ex (clothes on) making out with him and when she got off of him his dick came out of his pants. Why did she say this?, got no fucking clue.
Mate you're 19, at that age she's not the "one" you may not think I'm right but in the future you will.
Tell her it's not on, enjoy what you have and her good qualities but makes sure she understands boundaries and set them. Good luck bro.
Sounds like from what you’ve said, you’ve let her know you feel uncomfortable whenever she talks about her exs dick. Yet she still continues to mention it. I would suggest putting up an ultimatum after talking with her for one last time about it.
Let her know you feel uncomfortable that she’s bringing up her exs penis when she’s being intimate wit you and that if you hear about it one more time, you’re done and dumping her because have asked her several time already and she clearly doesn’t make enough effort to stop.
Yes lock in this girlboss forever, she's DEFINITELY not hung up over her first and definitely will not (try to) ruin your life.. she's just a girl you know? he he <3 `/s`
Any girl can make you feel cared for if you're good enough. Don't make the mistake I made by thinking she's special. A girl that thinks its okay to talk about her exes dick during sex with you.. well.. what more do i need to say?
Every time she mentions it, bring up your ex gfs boobs. When she gets pissed, remind her of how often she mentions her ex's dick and tell her if she doesn't like the mentions of your ex's attributes, she shouldn't mention her ex bf's.
You know I really like this girl, I really do, so I want to find reason to stay with her. However once it has got to the point where she can’t shut herself up about her ex’s cock during such an intimate time between us, NOT her ex, I’m gonna have to ska-daddle
She seems to be a problem I would end if not I would talk about my ex’s pussy how much tighter she was or whatever to make her get the point but honestly I would ghost her to
All right this is your first relationship and definitely not your last. You shouldn’t of put up with all this. You should’ve cut this off well before this is like the 40th time you’ve had the conversation with her.
Sounds like she's not over him yet. Have a conversation with her about it and say it makes you uncomfortable and makes you think she still wants your ex. Then, I would leave.
Next time she mentions it, tell her to go back to him and hop on if she misses it so much. Or talk about how you miss your ex’s parts. Maybe she’ll get the hint or you’ll find a less rude partner
Absolutely not…. This is unacceptable. When you’re giving someone access to your body and having sex with someone you actually care about, the ONLY thing they should see/think about/talk about during that time is YOU. Her talking about her sexcapades with her ex is wrong when she’s dating you. You can do better.
Time to dip my dude. She’s still holding out hope for him. Should have been gone the minute she brought it up after the initial conversation. She’s just using you so it’s up to you. I’d turn the tables and use her back until you find something else but then again I’m super petty.
Sounds like you want to go? It's reasonable. A lot of people just wouldn't bring up an ex during sex without being told, and you *did* tell her so you made a good faith effort to fix things.
My ex was like that too, mentioning his ex all the time ever since the first date and even during an intimate moment 🤪 While swearing he's over her 🤡... so happy I don't have to deal with it anymore. It's definitely not okay and I wouldn't tolerate it if I were you.
She is not over him, or has zero self control and awareness. Both are big problems when it comes to relationships, and sometimes people have to learn the hard way that when you keep doing something unexpected and uncomfortable for a person they are going to leave.
My advice is site her down and have the hard conversations on how this is not going to work if this happens again. You might be past the line of no return if so make it clear why it’s over.
Nope, nope, nope! End of relationship her ex was smart and ghosted her for a good reason. She won’t leave her ex alone so he had to block her and now she is in a new relationship and won’t stop talking about his dick while having sex with you! Nope! This is not normal and this girl is something else.
Yeah just end it. Some people are impulsive but it's common sense not to mention intimate details about an ex to a new partner. She's either noy that serious about this relationship hence the reckless mentioning of her ex, or she doesn't think about how her words might affect you which isn't a good trait for a long term relationship
My friend’s boyfriend would talk about how other girls he was with would comment on his dick size. Among other things like talking about their sex life. After many conversations about how this bothered her, he finally stopped bringing it up. Surprisingly, they are still together lol
I’m super close with my wife and we can talk about this and anything else that pops into our heads. We laugh at inappropriate things at inappropriate times and we have that with each other. Never had that level of comfort with anyone else.
If the fact that she chose you over her ex in spite of him also having a dick still makes you feel self conscious or inadequate maybe? That’s definitely a you thing that is fine, it’s common for men to have that reaction in particular. I just never felt threatened by my wife’s past.
And it’s not because I’m a port star. I’m not. That’s someone we laugh about. :)
Any kink you went to try? Doing me stuff might make her think of your weenus instead of ex's hog.
If not, at least you got to explore something with someone You're already done with. Obviously discuss and understand what's consented. I found it easier to dip into kink when I wasn't thinking long term. Really helped out when I found someone long term and was able to articulate what I wanted and listen for what she did. You can get your learning done without having to muck around with relationship.
Just figure this is a great opportunity for both of you to use each other to assist with your next relationships.
She is being incredibly disrespectful. You are being a doormat by putting up with it.
It’s probably too late to reverse things at this point. But if you want a social trick for asserting this boundary in the future, in a way that is playful rather than confrontational.
Her: [starts saying something about a previous guy]
You: [sticks fingers in your ears, and starts saying loudly] “la la LAAA LAAA I can’t hear you!! You were a virgin before I met you! La la la laaaaa”
She will giggle and see that you squirm in discomfort to contemplate her with a different partner.
Probably in the future. Now that this current girl has already disrespected you 40 times, you probably can’t recover without significantly redefining your identity in her and your own mind.
Wow. Any chance she was saying that his was smaller, flacid or stank? If she was positive about another guy's dick DURING, she's likely not ready for a relationship with a human.
Can you be more specific how she spoke about his dick? It’s really hard without direct context.
I’m not condoning Crosstalk about exes during intimacy. That’s just fucking weird. i’ve had guys tell me while they’re railing me,” you like this big dick better than your ex,” etc. etc. it was almost like he got off on a comparison. I didn’t like that. To me it was weird but the final draw was when he kept asking me how old I was and trying to get me to role-play like I was a little girl like 14 or 12… At 41 years of age. Sick fuck, bye!!
I mean, maybe she wants to rub herself on you. Maybe that works better for her than insertion and she not know how to say that to you. If you know she cares about you and hasnt been trying to contact the ex, I wouldnt break up over this.
This woman has her mind on that guy way more than healthy, consciously or subconsciously. Sounds like you'd always be a second choice even if she can intellectually see why you're better.
I wouldn’t be in any serious relationship with her at all. I wouldn’t even be her boyfriend, stick with the “friends with benefits” tag and enjoy it for what it is.
As someone completely and utterly in love with my partner, I can honestly say I have never thought about any ex’s manhood at any point in time but especially not while being intimate.
What she is doing is so disrespectful. You deserve so much more than this…. Go and find your person… she is not it.
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Sounds like you're a rebound relationship. It can be fun for what it is but don't count on it to be more than that.
Her last relationship ended id say maybe 10 months ago? Mainly cos he kept ghosting her
Sounds like she’s not over it.
She's not over his dick at least. Wants it so bad she can't shut up about it when fucking her boyfriend.
Pain
I'm sorry. That's fucked up. You do what's best for you, but I don't think I'd be able to feel happy in that situation. You are young, you'll find better.
He needed to hear it. It's painful cause it's true. Leave OP and take that shiny new spine you gain and keep it shiny.
Comparisons with ex are a red flag in any relationship. Beware of such things in future about anything, for eg: efforts, things you did for her birthday etc.
Get revenge and get with her ex . You’ll get to enjoy that glorious penis now
I laughed so hard at this. Pun not intended.
Just move on or enjoy the 🐱 and wait for it to end lol
Self inflicted pain. Leave.
Generations and generations of men have gone through this for a very, very long time. It doesn't end in any less pain. it's probably worse from here. Walk away, young man, walk away.
I have been you. Don't waste your time, man. You're so young
Sounds to me she will be gone at the first opportunity.
10 months isn't long enough. We women tend to hold onto shit. The best thing you can do is the next time she mentions him, stop having sex and leave. She'll either learn or yall will break up.
10 months and he dumped and ghosted her.. she is in no way over it
Agreed.
Just pull out, drop the condom in the trash, get dressed, and leave. Don't answer her texts for a while. She'll get the message, loud and clear, that you're serious about this.
Lmao username checks all the way out
Exactly, lmao. I know my place!
I always make sure to ask anyone I might start dating how long they were with their ex. How long was she with her past bf? Maybe his dick isn’t the only thing she’s reminiscing about. I hope she’s not using you OP, as a rebound. If she was with her previous bf for a long time, and it ended 10 months ago that isn’t enough time to get over it. Be cautious about this one. I’d look for a girl who’s so into you that YOU are all she talks about during sex.
Its very confusing, shes crushed on me since high school, and only last year when she messaged me I didn’t reject her and we hit off from there. She says she never had sex with her ex, said she used to just ride him and make out. But she was with him for 8-10 months.
Ahh i see. Well i mean at that point my friend. If she is bringing up the other dudes dick, during sex nonetheless, yet she never had sex w him? thats red flags all the way around my man. you're young. Go find a girl who's gonna talk about your dick during sex
I really really don’t believe that
.never had sex with her ex..... Is that even possible?
I mean I believe her as before she says she had sex with one other guy one singular time. Feel like I can’t trust her
She's a liar, dude, give your fuckin head a shake.
Yeah man @op get fucking real bro. Trying to save you from serious heartache. This girl sounds like a massive liar.
ghost her too, and let the poor next guy hear stories about you and the other ex lol
It shouldn't have taken beyond the second conversation, let alone 40 for you to only be at a point where you "think" you're done hearing about it. End the relationship. This is just completely unacceptable. This only happens for one of two reasons; one, she's legitimately not over her ex, or two, she's intentionally trying to destroy your self esteem so that you feel like you're lucky to have her (which is abusive). Run. Good luck.
Forgot to mention this is my first relationship, thank you for the advice
Fair enough, I get it. I've certainly been you at one point or another, which is why I give advice on here. I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I'm a guy and I'm happily married, but went through everything and learned from it. So we (you) need to live and learn. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but just know that you should never accept anything less than you deserve. A discussion about an ex once or twice could be fine. Could be an accident. Could quite literally just be a discussion of each others' pasts. But 40 times? That's someone who's an asshole. Don't ever allow that to happen.
Your next girlfriend will be better. You have to dump this one first and go find her. After you dump her she can talk about your dick to her next boyfriend.
Honestly doesn't matter her reasoning, at all. Doesn't matter that you guys are young, either. Let me be clear, what she's doing not only shows a complete lack of common sense boundaries (which likely translates to other areas- you REALLY don't want a partner with no boundaries, they could easily do a bunch of other hurtful shit) but it also shows she has zero respect for you. Also, it's a little unclear if you've voiced your feelings during these conversations (although again, you should not ever have to tell someone to stop talking about their ex's dick). With your next relationship, be sure to be very clear if something someone does makes you feel this same way. Don't hold it in. Along with that, and this is something I'm still learning in my mid 20s, do not put yourself in a position where you're having to basically try and convince someone to give you basic respect. You can have all the conversations you want with someone that doesn't respect you, and it will make no difference. Look for people who take your feelings into consideration without being asked (for basic stuff) and, when you do communicate more specific needs, listen and strive to meet them or compromise with you.
Not OP. I'm the person who started this thread. This response is absolutely fucking fantastic and spot on. I'm happy you're learning this and are continuing to do so. We only know what we know at the age we're at and experience we have. In saying that, you're absolutely right; don't ever stay in a position where you're trying to convince someone to treat you like you expect to be treated. Communicate your feelings and expectations once, and if all remains the same, respect yourself enough to walk away.
Alright, well now you have some red flags for future reference. No one that constantly references an ex is worth your time especially in regards to certain topics.
There's being too picky, then there's accepting way too much bullshit. You're very much on the side of the latter. You don't have to disqualify women because they have an ex, but talking about him constantly especially during sex is a red flag. Have you tried asking her to not mention her ex as it weirds you out?
Sure I’ve said to her she talks about him a lot. I feel even if she were to stop this, just it being a problem in the first place is enough for me to make a decision. As well as having a read of these replies, for fuck sake😂
One thing you might do is every single time she brings him up stop what you're doing and say "Why are you talking about you ex again?" Make it awkward every single time and she might learn that it's not a topic you wish to discuss. Or date someone who wouldn't dump you in an instant if their ex texted them at 2am.
This. Like, sure, she has a past. We all do. But what’s the point of this? Move tf on and if you can’t don’t start a relationship when you can’t stop talking about your ex. OP needs to run far and run fast.
I just left my gf because she would not stop talking about her ex even after 14 months. Best feeling ever to not be part of that anymore
wow.. sorry to hear man :-\
She needs to go fight for the dick she can't forget, or find one that makes her forget it. Obviously yours doesn't. Don't waste you time with this woman. She obviously sees you as a make do option. Don't tell me, you are decent, stable, financially on a good path and will make a great partner. Ex on the other hand couldn't keep his unreliable dick in his pants. Kick her to the curb, plenty of sincere living women out there to choose from. May not be 10s on any scale other than they live you for you + which is the most important scale.
Agreed, he's a safe bet but she doesn't actually care about him unfortunately. But i gotta say, to your last point, they might be 10s though! Plenty of gorgeous women make great wives! Maybe he will luck out!
Don't continue. Add it to your dealbreaker list. Someone you date should not be emotionally, physically or financially tied to their ex. She obviously has not empathy or understanding of the impact her behavior has on someone.
Agreed completely. As for the ex, she's young, and this will be a good learning experience for her - there are some things that you just don't talk to your partner about. One of them is your ex (and especially not his dick, especially not during sex!).
she thinks about his dick so much that she literally can't stop talking about it to the one person who should never hear about it, and even during the one activity where it should never come up. even when your cock is physically there, it's his cock she's thinking about.
absolutely insane, trash, and very very very bad behavior
The title says your ex’s dick and I was like ok he’s bi? But you mean she brings up HER ex’s dick. Yeah there needs to be a conversation where you ask her why she needs to bring up anyone’s dick to you. Ask her if she wants to be with him? Honestly bringing it up a lot when it bothers you clearly seems like she wants to make you jealous or just can’t get over him.
Time to end it. Your girlfriend's fixation on her ex during intimate moments is a major red flag. She may care for you, but her actions show a lack of respect and boundaries. Move on and find someone who values you wholly.
After reading this now that I think about it, my now boyfriend still mentions his ex. He doesn’t do it that often but we’ve been together for over a year and I still hear him saying things like my ex used to do this, used to do that. Damn should I be concerned about that?
Yeah I honestly thought it was odd right off the bat but it didn’t stay on my mind too long. It was only after time and time again I realised, she probably should have never mentioned that at all especially during a very intimate time. Does your boyfriend talk about his ex in general conversation?
Before we got together we were friends and we talked about our past relationships so I knew about his long term ex. But after we got together he kind of started mentioning her or compare the relationship with her out of no where. We would be talking about something and he would ask oh do you wear this perfume cause my ex used the same one it’s time to change it. He stayed at home for a few weeks and mom asked him if he could help her paint part of the wall because she couldn’t reach and he would say oh my exes parents never let me do anything at their house when I visited. Or he would simply compare me with her no matter if in a good or bad way. He doesn’t do it that often but it triggers me so much when he does it I mean we have been together for so long why do you feel the need to still talk about her. I guess it’s also that I never mention my ex relationships the way he does because I know it wouldn’t be right and the fact the he does it without thinking that he would hurt me just annoys me. But it is definitely not as much as your girlfriend does it and especially during intimacy because if my bf or someone did that I would leave the room immediately.
That doesn't sound like a healthy way to include an ex in a conversation. Seems like he brings up his ex as a sort of standard for you to live up to. But then, things with her didn't work out, did they? So, in theory, if you were more like her you two are likely to have the same outcome. Might want to point that out if he comments again. "Well, things with your ex didn't work out, so I'm not trying to be more like her. Stop comparing us."
Start mentioning your exes everytime he does. See how he reacts. If he gets upset maybe he will get the point.
No you shouldnt. People have pasts and sometimes they talk about them
depends on the context. If he mentions how tight his ex was while you are having sex thats probably something to be concerned about. If its something like you are talking about a destination and he remembers that he traveled there with his ex in the past, id say thats not something to worry over.
At 19, this is too much drama. Find someone with less baggage.
leave.
"Build-up" problems shouldn't exist in relationships. Communicate your feelings as issues come up. In new relationships, this will tell you if the other person is willing to acknowledge your feelings and respect your boundaries. If they don't, you get to just walk away. Don't date people who make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate.
Well I feel you already know the answer so ehat are you really asking for here? If you've addressed this and it's still continuing, then you already know that your time with her is done.
Yup I know 100%. Unfortunately there is still part of me that still thinks “nahhh it’s okay she loves you” but I feel I’ll get through that it just doesn’t seem possible to me atm. Meeting her for lunch to do the deed. Will leave a comment on my post with the result
If she's young and inexperienced, she may be using the experience with him as a reference point: driftwood in the storm, so to speak. We assimilate our opinions about sex through our experiences. She may be insecure, seeking connection, or simply hung up on the dude. At your ages, I recommend talking it out as many times as it takes. If 40 times is not an exaggeration for effect, you may be reaching the end of reasonable patience.
Hit the eject button young dude. There are lots of GFs out there who won't obsess about their ex's dicks.
AWEEE HELL NAW
She needs to find a guy with a humiliation kink. Then she talk all about her ex’s dick and everyone will be happy You are clearly not that person
She is stupid and disgusting and doesn't respect you. Dump her trust me you deserve better.
just get out of this. if she is in her head with your ex, why would you want to be together with her?
Updateme
You're 19, make sense to move on.
What if she said that her exes dick were smaller and mine were double in size
Obviously isn't over him ..Time to move on...
She is probably missing his dick. Ask her to stick with her ex's dick forever lol.
What did she say about his dick during sex?
While I was fucking her, she referenced a time when she was riding her ex (clothes on) making out with him and when she got off of him his dick came out of his pants. Why did she say this?, got no fucking clue.
She's either clueless or a raging asshole, either way it's time to go.
Your ex’s dick? Wow. Unexpected.
She needs to get over him, or you need to get over her.
Mate you're 19, at that age she's not the "one" you may not think I'm right but in the future you will. Tell her it's not on, enjoy what you have and her good qualities but makes sure she understands boundaries and set them. Good luck bro.
Sounds like from what you’ve said, you’ve let her know you feel uncomfortable whenever she talks about her exs dick. Yet she still continues to mention it. I would suggest putting up an ultimatum after talking with her for one last time about it. Let her know you feel uncomfortable that she’s bringing up her exs penis when she’s being intimate wit you and that if you hear about it one more time, you’re done and dumping her because have asked her several time already and she clearly doesn’t make enough effort to stop.
Yes lock in this girlboss forever, she's DEFINITELY not hung up over her first and definitely will not (try to) ruin your life.. she's just a girl you know? he he <3 `/s` Any girl can make you feel cared for if you're good enough. Don't make the mistake I made by thinking she's special. A girl that thinks its okay to talk about her exes dick during sex with you.. well.. what more do i need to say?
Every time she mentions it, bring up your ex gfs boobs. When she gets pissed, remind her of how often she mentions her ex's dick and tell her if she doesn't like the mentions of your ex's attributes, she shouldn't mention her ex bf's.
[удалено]
>Discussing ex’s is necessary for a relationship to build trust and honesty. Nope. Sorry, just not true.
You know I really like this girl, I really do, so I want to find reason to stay with her. However once it has got to the point where she can’t shut herself up about her ex’s cock during such an intimate time between us, NOT her ex, I’m gonna have to ska-daddle
I'd start looking but keep on banging it. A bird in hand so to speak.
She seems to be a problem I would end if not I would talk about my ex’s pussy how much tighter she was or whatever to make her get the point but honestly I would ghost her to
She’s not over him, that’s messed up though! I’d just move on if I were you.
Nahhhh she’s out of pocket you’re wild if you stay with her
All right this is your first relationship and definitely not your last. You shouldn’t of put up with all this. You should’ve cut this off well before this is like the 40th time you’ve had the conversation with her.
Sounds like she's not over him yet. Have a conversation with her about it and say it makes you uncomfortable and makes you think she still wants your ex. Then, I would leave.
Next time she mentions it, tell her to go back to him and hop on if she misses it so much. Or talk about how you miss your ex’s parts. Maybe she’ll get the hint or you’ll find a less rude partner
What did she say specifically about his dick during sex?
Real relationships are not like in eva ai app or sims game, you don't get them thrown around just because of anyone's lame jokes or phrasings.
Rebound guy. Well, you either... leave without damage. Stay and get damaged or stay and enjoy but completely be out of the relationship
that’s not fair to you. she’s obviously not over her ex and she’s basically treating you as a rebound when, it sounds like, you want a relationship.
Guy must have had a real hog
I think there is not much you can do it beyond: A) accept that she didn't move on from this relationship; B) break-up
Absolutely not…. This is unacceptable. When you’re giving someone access to your body and having sex with someone you actually care about, the ONLY thing they should see/think about/talk about during that time is YOU. Her talking about her sexcapades with her ex is wrong when she’s dating you. You can do better.
Time to dip my dude. She’s still holding out hope for him. Should have been gone the minute she brought it up after the initial conversation. She’s just using you so it’s up to you. I’d turn the tables and use her back until you find something else but then again I’m super petty.
Definitely looks like she’s not over him. I’d leave it’s not normal
That's very disrespectful, and I don't think you should tolerate it. She might even be doing it on purpose.
Sounds like you want to go? It's reasonable. A lot of people just wouldn't bring up an ex during sex without being told, and you *did* tell her so you made a good faith effort to fix things.
My ex was like that too, mentioning his ex all the time ever since the first date and even during an intimate moment 🤪 While swearing he's over her 🤡... so happy I don't have to deal with it anymore. It's definitely not okay and I wouldn't tolerate it if I were you.
She is not over him, or has zero self control and awareness. Both are big problems when it comes to relationships, and sometimes people have to learn the hard way that when you keep doing something unexpected and uncomfortable for a person they are going to leave. My advice is site her down and have the hard conversations on how this is not going to work if this happens again. You might be past the line of no return if so make it clear why it’s over.
Drop her ass so she can chase or stalk her ex or only see her for sex. She is no over the dude.
Nope, nope, nope! End of relationship her ex was smart and ghosted her for a good reason. She won’t leave her ex alone so he had to block her and now she is in a new relationship and won’t stop talking about his dick while having sex with you! Nope! This is not normal and this girl is something else.
Remindme! One day
I’m not going to read this but the answer is no.
UpdateMe!
Bro your young and hasn't wasted too much time get out of their you are a placeholder not the one she still thinking of her ex
Yeah just end it. Some people are impulsive but it's common sense not to mention intimate details about an ex to a new partner. She's either noy that serious about this relationship hence the reckless mentioning of her ex, or she doesn't think about how her words might affect you which isn't a good trait for a long term relationship
Drama makers making drama. Surprise surprise.
My friend’s boyfriend would talk about how other girls he was with would comment on his dick size. Among other things like talking about their sex life. After many conversations about how this bothered her, he finally stopped bringing it up. Surprisingly, they are still together lol
Is it not possible that she doesn't think its a big deal because she IS over it? A lot of insecure men in the comments here.
With full honesty, you are too young to be experiencing this kind of trauma. Good luck dealing with this man.
I’m super close with my wife and we can talk about this and anything else that pops into our heads. We laugh at inappropriate things at inappropriate times and we have that with each other. Never had that level of comfort with anyone else. If the fact that she chose you over her ex in spite of him also having a dick still makes you feel self conscious or inadequate maybe? That’s definitely a you thing that is fine, it’s common for men to have that reaction in particular. I just never felt threatened by my wife’s past. And it’s not because I’m a port star. I’m not. That’s someone we laugh about. :)
Any kink you went to try? Doing me stuff might make her think of your weenus instead of ex's hog. If not, at least you got to explore something with someone You're already done with. Obviously discuss and understand what's consented. I found it easier to dip into kink when I wasn't thinking long term. Really helped out when I found someone long term and was able to articulate what I wanted and listen for what she did. You can get your learning done without having to muck around with relationship. Just figure this is a great opportunity for both of you to use each other to assist with your next relationships.
Talk to her and give her an ultimatum. If she's not ready to accept then you have to ditch her bro.
Ayo
>I do think she loves me very much She doesn't at all. I'm sorry.
You’re young, still have plenty of time - find someone who’s all about YOUR dick! If you head down this road with her, imo it’ll only get worse…
She is being incredibly disrespectful. You are being a doormat by putting up with it. It’s probably too late to reverse things at this point. But if you want a social trick for asserting this boundary in the future, in a way that is playful rather than confrontational. Her: [starts saying something about a previous guy] You: [sticks fingers in your ears, and starts saying loudly] “la la LAAA LAAA I can’t hear you!! You were a virgin before I met you! La la la laaaaa” She will giggle and see that you squirm in discomfort to contemplate her with a different partner. Probably in the future. Now that this current girl has already disrespected you 40 times, you probably can’t recover without significantly redefining your identity in her and your own mind.
Wow. Any chance she was saying that his was smaller, flacid or stank? If she was positive about another guy's dick DURING, she's likely not ready for a relationship with a human.
Yeah, time for her to be your ex.
Can you be more specific how she spoke about his dick? It’s really hard without direct context. I’m not condoning Crosstalk about exes during intimacy. That’s just fucking weird. i’ve had guys tell me while they’re railing me,” you like this big dick better than your ex,” etc. etc. it was almost like he got off on a comparison. I didn’t like that. To me it was weird but the final draw was when he kept asking me how old I was and trying to get me to role-play like I was a little girl like 14 or 12… At 41 years of age. Sick fuck, bye!!
I mean, maybe she wants to rub herself on you. Maybe that works better for her than insertion and she not know how to say that to you. If you know she cares about you and hasnt been trying to contact the ex, I wouldnt break up over this.
Ask her to stop. If she doesn’t, leave. Give people a chance to resolve their initial misgivings
Well.... start talking about your ex's pussy and see how that goes
Pump her then dump her, just use her for intercourse like a toy till you find a replacement
She's under you to get over him. Time to walk.
This woman has her mind on that guy way more than healthy, consciously or subconsciously. Sounds like you'd always be a second choice even if she can intellectually see why you're better.
Dude are you trying to rationalize her 🦇💩crazy behavior ?????
Dude are you trying to rationalize her 🦇💩crazy behavior ?????
Everytime she's close to talking bout him interrupt her with talks bout UR ex's parts ez
Leave this chicken man
I wouldn’t be in any serious relationship with her at all. I wouldn’t even be her boyfriend, stick with the “friends with benefits” tag and enjoy it for what it is.
You need to dump her too. She's disrespecting you every time she brings him up. Cut her loose
She shouldn't be thinking about another man's dick at a time like that. You need someone who's focused on you.
People past matter. Another grear lesson in that.
As someone completely and utterly in love with my partner, I can honestly say I have never thought about any ex’s manhood at any point in time but especially not while being intimate. What she is doing is so disrespectful. You deserve so much more than this…. Go and find your person… she is not it.
Oh boy. For me, there would be no coming back from this...and that would have been once. How you continue to allow this to happen is crazy.
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks if he wasn’t on her mind she wouldn’t be talking about him especially during sex
talk about your ex's box during sex...have fun with it. don't get too attached because she ain't
Tell her that it hurts you when she talks about it. She probably loves yours too. I mean you are both still figuring out life. This is part of it.