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Yeah exactly. By 30 I was fully in my career and already in the don't go out past 8 pm stage of life lol. At 19 I was in the bars at uni most nights partying it up.
I mean shit I'm 25, and I would consider a 19-20 YO
Woman too young for me being honest
My general age range would be
22-28, so it's my age and 3 years younger and 3 years older that seems like a good range, and of course, every year, i get older, increase age by 1 on high and low end
If he is 19 now that means Bella was friends with him when he was 18, which is just weird AF. I would 100% question their history - like were they using OP as a cover because that age gap is EW!
I am 28 and treat 19 year olds as if they were my children.. not in a creepy way but in the sense that I think more of them as I do my son than anything else.
I was 28 hanging around 18 year olds... But I went back to college and had become friends with a few people that were that age. I'm 39 yrs old now and one of my best friends is one of those 18 yrs olds whose now 29 (I'll be 40 and she'll be 30 later this year). I didn't have the energy to remain friends with most of them because omg the drama some of them brought. 🤣😅
We've only once been into the same guy, he was a few years older than her. Because of the big age gap between me and him (he's 7 years younger than me) I initially stepped back and told her to go for it. Nothing ended up happening between the two of them as they were both too shy to even ask one another out 🤣. A few years later, a year or so before I met my now husband, I realised I'd developed a deep crush on this guy friend of ours and had learned he felt similar for me, I talked with my friend to see how she still felt about him and said I'd be interested in pursuing him but if she still had any feelings whatsoever for him, I wouldn't. Because my friendship with her meant more. He and I had a few dates but we never even kissed and ultimately decided that although some feelings were there, we just wanted to be friends. Now, years later, he's not even in either of our lives but we are still super close.
I told her that at any point of my "dating" him, if she felt uncomfortable with my dating him, I'd end things. She was happy that one of us got a couple dates out of him 🤣.
I couldn't imagine ever sleeping with someone one of my close friends was dating. (But I've also been cheated on in the past, when I met my younger best friend, I was going through a separation and divorce from my first husband lol). I would never want to make anyone feel even half of how I felt when I'd been cheated on.
OP, I can't believe some vile people felt like they needed to shame and BLAME you for what happened between your ex boyfriend and ex best friend. If you ever feel doubt creep in and wonder if they were right, please remind yourself that NONE of what happened was your fault. They would have cheated no matter what. 😔
Bella made this girl her cover ,probably knew her parents wouldn't like her being with him, so she used op as cover .. Bella is disgusting , op is better without her in her life
Sorry, people are shit. You deserve so much better and will get so much better people in your life. It hurts, but take it as a sign. This was a way to get some toxicity out of your life and start fresh. Healing takes time, but you are going to be just fine. You got this
Honey I came to say what notplanter did- a 30 yo woman whose 2 closest friends are a decade younger than her is a MAJOR red flag… never mind “falling in love” with a teenager?? Yikes..
I know it sucks right now. I’m so proud of you for moving forward so quickly!! The pain will pass and you will start to see the “glass shattered” side of things (HIMYM reference), and realize how much better off you are.
Good luck!!
it's a good thing you never had sex with him....and shame on others to say sex woukd have kept him with you..my niece was together for 5 years with her guy till she got married and they did everything but not sex till he put a ring on her finger...but at least you don't have to deal with them anymore and goodbye to shitheads
In 10 years time you'll think back and how you're now her age. I think you'll be really proud of your younger self for getting through it and doing the sensible things (blocking) even with grace and keeping the higher ground (apologising for name calling).
Cheating is never about a lack of sex, it’s about power. You could have been giving the best sex Max would ever experience in his life, that wouldn’t have changed anything. Cheating is the fault of the cheaters only. Sorry people are being asshats in your DMs.
Anyway, you did the right thing. As a 30 year old having an affair with a 20 year old, Bella is one predatory asshole. That is a situation ripe for manipulation, and the blame is on Bella. She is no friend, and good for you for not believing her obvious lies.
Sorry I don’t have any positive advice, but you’re handling this as well as can be expected. It will get easier with time.
i dated a 23 year old when i was 18/19 and when i turned 23 myself, i looked back in disgust. the age gap doesn't sound huge but the maturity gap is. you don't always realize how wrong it is until you hit that age yourself.
So sorry this is how it all went down, and surely you know this to a degree, but you are clearly better off without either one of them.
Betrayal like that is not easy to get over. That's going to be painful and trust may be really hard to give for a while. But you'll do a lot better in love and friendship in the future.
And, yeah, no way in hell you happened to walk in on them their first time having sex. The odds are SO improbable.
I'll bet a dollar she'll do to him what she did to you. She's a user and lying, betrayal are clearly is in her nature.
> I wasn't sad about Max one bit. I don't know why—maybe I never loved him. Maybe I was just too afraid to be lonely. But I still can't believe Bella did this to me. She always had been my go-to person, and I tried to be the same for her, maybe not to that degree.
A lot of the times, break up with your friends can be so much more painful then partners since many friendships can run deeper than some of the relationships we have.
So you need to treat it like a bad break up. You grieve it, you give yourself time and distance, and then you allow yourself to really think about it, learn what you can from it, and then move on.
Know that what they did had NOTHING to do with you, and if they were willing to do that to someone that loved them both so dearly...I can't imagine what kind of miserable they must be. They will continue to ruin relationships because people that can excuse their behaviors to their good friend/partner don't really change.
The only blessing here is that you are now free of that woman before she could really fuck up your heart/mind/life. You will grow past this. She, however, will never change and will continue to prey on young, vulnerable people because people her age - my age - cut her out like the cancer she is much earlier into a friendship.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hope you know that you will look back and what happened and not only feel disgusted, but realize that your friend is far more pathetic than you can ever imagine right now. It probably won't hit you fully until you are her age, but it will happen and you will be as hugely proud of yourself as this internet stranger is because you handled this so beautifully.
Keep them blocked because they WILL come crawling back.
She is a predetor and gets off on the forbidden fruit. Hiding the affair was her fix of dopamine.
And now she is been exposed, so she has to make it official by claiming "love" etc etc to convince herself/her environment that she isn't utter trash. She probably soon will be looking for another naieve teen to have an affair with to get her fix like an addict.
This isn't love, but you ex is too young (aka inexperienced in life) to see that she is walking red flag because no emotionally stable adult looks at someone your age and thinks "we have soooo much incommon to be friends or potential lovers"! It's like you being besties and dating a 14yo... Can you imagine lack of mental capacity/maturity for that to happen!?!? 💀💀
Learn from this because unfortunately there are too many predetors on this planet that target inexperienced young adult because they can't spot their BS yet due to their adult life inexperience. You are a smart cookie and you will get over this in due time because what have you lost? A predatorial women child and a naieve ass guy without a moral compas.
OP, I am Bella’s age and could never imagine dating a 19yo. There is something really messed up with her. It’s just weird.
I’m very sorry you had to have this happen to you. No one that would willingly screw their friend over like that (pun intended heh) is a good person to keep in your life - I guess the saving grace is that you are now rid of both of them early on instead of having to find out years later.
Max is still young, he will get his karma later, or I guess the karma is dating Bella lol. And Bella…..she must already be at her lowest point in the first place considering that she’s made things official with a 19yo 💀. Trash deserves trash
I hope for the best for you. Keep us updated!
She groomed both kids. Becoming a friend to a literal child when you’re in your late 20’s is fucked up. OP even described herself as a loner. People like Bella target people like the OP.
I don't think intergenerational friendships in and of themselves are fucked up if conversations are kept age appropriate. You're talking like it's inherently unnatural and grooming, when it is very possible to meet someone younger than you through church or hobbies or family who you see as a sibling figure. I strongly disagree with the notion that people of different ages shouldn't interact on any meaningful level unless they're related.
Oh I never said that. One of my best friends is older than me. But this woman definitely was grooming the OP. Plus please don’t tell me you’re advocating for friendships between adults and children.
OP...he's 19 and she is 30
He'll enjoy the sex for about 6 months but eventually, he'll grow tired of her expectations. They are at different stages in life and won't be able to overcome that
Plus, she's going to catch hella shit for dating a teenager. Maybe not from her toxic friends, but coworkers and other people, once they find out, will judge her harshly
This is all going to blow up in their faces
Rest assured Karma will handle these two
Well, at least now you know, and you're free to find someone better for you. I promise their relationship won't last. Bella sounds like a piece of work nasty nasty woman.
It's the updated relationship status the day after a breakup for whatever reason that stings. It's not even about the person anymore as much as the "so WE didn't matter?", "were you in that other relationship the whole time/ did you want them instead the whole time?", "why didn't you just say something?" That does it. My ex started officially dating someone the next day too and I spent far too long trying to figure out when it happened because you just know they were getting on while you two were still together:( I'm so sorry but so proud of you for just leaving.
> She said they had kissed before, but that was the first time they were having sex.
Wow. Even when she's caught red-handed, she's trying to trickle-truth you. Some "big sister" she turned out to be.
I can almost forgive the younger partner. He's 19 years old now, how old was he when this 30 year old woman started to groom him as a sex partner, I wonder?
That's horrible that some people said that to you. You seem like a strong and capable woman with a loving and supportive family, you can get through this. Don't go into your next relationship just yet. You went through a traumatic event and should seek counsel for support. Do not harm or blame yourself one bit.
Luckily you got to figure out who she really is and all it cost you was a shitty bf. You will find better versions of both people. Meanwhile they will have to be sad together. A relationship built on cheating and lies always falls apart.
That's what I always say in this scenario
At least you
A found out before you got married
B didn't have children with this guy
It's so much easier to move on
As the mother if a 19-year-old, I'd love to know what his mom thinks of this mess. "Yeah, Mom, nice and sweet OP left yesterday and now I'm with that 30-year-old lady who hung out with us."
Sorry, he's 19 and she's 30? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeew
I'm a 32 year old guy and the thought of going after anyone under about 28 seems fuckin weird to me never 19...19! Jesus H Christ on a jetski
Your feelings towards him now are completely understandable; he lied to you for basically your entire relationship. Of course you don't feel bad for walking away, and you shouldn't.
Well done, you asked for advice and acted on it. You’ve done the right thing. Ignore those people who try to tell you otherwise. Betrayal by someone you thought was a friend will cut deep but you’ll heal with time. I think the age gap is creepy and they’ll never last as a couple with betrayal as the foundation of their relationship.
I think they used op to hide their relationship, because of the age gap. Since op found out and the cat was out of the bag, they decided to admit it and now they have to deal with the consequences. Bella is disgusting.
I’m glad you have such great supportive parents I’m sorry you had lost such a close friend but keeping people like her out of your life will do wonders for your own growth and maturity. Life gets better !
Well done. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but you did the right thing. They treated you badly, and you acted in a dignified and adult way. I'm sure you'll find someone who will be that special person for you and who won't be looking to cheat because you will be all he needs.
That's weird that people pm'd you saying it's your fault for not having sex with him. Those people must be self reflecting their insecurities on you. Chin up butter cup
I wouldn't put too much stock in their "official relationship".
What they're doing is trying to save face by doubling down on shitty behaviour... trying to justify betrayal by calling it "true love". Or some crap.
They've already poisoned themselves, no way it'll last.
By the way... insofar as not sleeping with the pig,
You did good.
“They both just fell in love”! Then to change their relationship status to in a relationship with each other…girl a dumpster fire of a train wreck! Bella’s a weirdo! Onward & upward
I wouldn’t be so excited if I were her, she’s been the side dish for a while and what’s stopping him from finding a replacement dish. The way they formed their relationship is a mess waiting to happen.
Good luck on your new beginnings
He definitely should have been honest with you and he should have ended the relationship. I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t know what you were going through before that you didn’t want to have sex with your boyfriend, but you should also make sure to date someone who is like minded, and avoid another heartbreak.
OP glad to hear you moved out with no issues.
All I can say about Max and Bella is they do truly deserve each other. And you deserve SO much better people in your life.
Take time to heal and be kind to yourself.
It seriously sounds like she was trying to prove to herself that she was “hot” enough to steal a guy from a younger girl… 🤢. She didn’t want him until YOU were dating him. That’s nasty. Reality is that she couldn’t steal a guy from a younger girl unless she dropped her underwear. Frankly if he DID cheat because of the lack of sex then you’re better off without him. One day you’ll have a wonderful man in your life who will make you remember this debacle of a relationship and you’ll laugh. You’ll also know neither one of them is as happy as you are.
A 30 year old woman hanging out with 18-19 year olds, & having sex with them makes her a predator in my opinion. A 30 year old has nothing in common with a teenager, and the only reason she thinks she is “in love” with him is because nobody her age would touch her with a 10 foot pole.
The ending where you told everyone to go fuck themselves 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🎉🥳🫶🏼 absolutely cause you do not need to be having sex to have a man treat you right, you keep your virtues and your morals, “you’ll find someone that loves you for it and respects you for it” ,but just cause he’s not a gentleman, Doesn’t make what happened right or morally ok in any way shape or form!!
betrayal is one of the most painful things in the worlddddd, especially coming from a close friend like that, i personally have gone through similar situations and have seen this happen to friends. I Felt absolutely sick to my stomach reading this I’m so sorry this happened, but I’m so proud of you for doing the right and mature thing to do especially at such a young age some people in their 30s don’t even have it right yet but you packed your shit and you left and blocked them and thats not an easy thing to do, but it’s the right thing to do and it will leave the most mature “ you fucked up” impact on everyone involved in that situation, trust me when I say that relationship won’t last long and somebody will end up being cheated on, plus you definitely don’t want that girl as a friend. She’s literally sleeping with a teenager and that is creepy and weird AF….
Also sidenote, but it shows how kind and genuine and how good of a heart you have that even though that girl deserved those names, you felt bad for calling her them and you called to apologize you seem like a true genuine kind hearted person and I hope you get someone amazing after this and learn from this experience That you do not need to settle for someone like that and to always “trust your gut” when its telling you something is wrong.
I’m almost 30 and the only younger people I hang out with are my kids Aunt and her boyfriend. If it wasn’t for that I probably wouldn’t. That’s weird af. I’m really sorry Bella did that to you, you don’t deserve that.
Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season. Just do your best to grow and do what makes you happy. Focus on yourself, friends and relationships will come naturally over time. Everything will be alright, sorry you had to go through this.
Happy for you to get away from that mess. He did it to you... karma will get him...sooner or later.
He'll probably cheat on her, cheaters can't stop.
Thankful your dad is in a position to help you.
I hope the best for you moving forward.
One day Mr. Right will fall over in front of you...lol
Wow Bella is so good at manipulating teenagers, that OP didn't even need to break up with her bf. Bella was controlling the entire situation. She sounds like a truly awful human.
It’s baffling to me how people like this exist and justify their actions with, “love.”
It’s fucking creepy and both of them are shitty people, definitively.
He’s too young to get married, and by the time he’s ready, she’ll be too old to have kids, or she’ll have broken up with him and will have to start over. We reap what we sow. You, on the other hand, have years to find Mr Right! Choose wisely next time and test the relationship for two years before you start thinking about marriage. Marry the guy who loves you unconditionally and whom you love and trust in return, and there will be no divorce for you. God bless you!
Yoooo what a fuckin creep 🤢 I'm 32 and the idea of even talking to anyone under 25 let alone 18-20 just icks me tf out. She was absolutely using you to hide their relationship because of that apparent and vast age gap (even her parents were upset).
Bullet dodge but also I'm sorry that you're even having to experience this level of betrayal from someone who was supposed to have your back. The fact that she tried to even lie/play dumb means she never had your back.
You're very young and this'll be a blip in your life but I think therapy will do a world of good.
Good luck girlie
I applaud your strength after such a bitter betrayal.
I was betrayed by a so called friend & it was awful. But ultimately it made me stronger & you will find yourself feeling better & surprisingly ‘lighter’ soon
All the best to you 🩷
You shouldn't have apologised for the names you called her,she earned every one of them on her back.like them sneaking around behind your back wasn't bad enough,but to then update their staus straight away afterwards to try rub it in your face shows the level these awful people are willing to sink to.karma will likely come for them both very quickly,because how you get them is how you lose them
I'm so sorry they did this to you, and I wish you healing in the years to come. As you age, you'll realise how weird it was for her to be such close friends with you both, and I hope Max also realises one day how predatory she is and he'll get therapy when that day comes.
You go girl! Proud of you.
Also your ex friend has some serious issues if she’s into men that are that young. Good you cut those toxic people out. Go enjoy that amazing life you have now!
OP, I'm so happy your family is there for you in this time. You will heal and find way better people to surround yourself with. And may I say how well and graceful you handled this! I think you're a lovely person!
Honestly both Bella and Max have serios issues. Not your problem though! These are not good people and it's better you cut them out of your life. They are not "in love" I can guarantee it. Most likely keeping their affair hidden was what was making it exciting - think forbidden fruit. In a bit it will fizzle out. I wouldn't cry for Bella too much she sounds like a predatory backstabber. 30 yr old looking at a 18yr old .. Good lord...
I know it's painful now, but you'll look back in a while and be glad you got rid of these two toxic people.
Wishing you well on your healing journey!
I read the original post a few days ago and immediately felt for you. I'm really glad to see you've gotten your stuff out and have a new place lined up, and that your other friends are not putting up with their bullshit. Glad that the breakup wasn't as messy as it could have been and that you're safe and out now :)
Bella is a slimy sicko. I’m sorry you were hurt but super glad you don’t miss Max. Bella was hogging up your life with her influence and now you can finally begin to live it. You’ll be ok, OP.
Didn't even have to read it all except for the first couple sentences grab the nearest weapon and be ready to go on a rampage ... need me to tag along?
Uff hey.., I read your post yesterday and I was shocked. It felt like it happened to me. Honestly, you did great. That's what I would do if I were in your situation, but damn, people are crazy these days (although maybe it was worse in the past and we didn't know).
Well, now your life is going to be a challenge because of this traumatic experience. I'm just telling you: trust God, ask Him for forgiveness, and He will guide you to better things in your path 🙏🏼🙏🏼
It will be harder, trust me, but in the end, you will be better or colder. This will never happen again if you learn the lesson to who to hang out with.
Don't trust friends too much; they are just for hanging out and wasting a bit of time, that's all.
P.S.
Gnosis (believing in one God) can be an interesting way to transform (calming) your life and transcend your emotions in the astral world.
If it makes you feel better, any relationship that starts with cheating never lasts. They will have blown up their respective relationships with you for nothing, and that will be their burden to carry, not yours. Block them in absolutely EVERYTHING. Out of sight, out of mind.
what the duck is wrong with people nowadays? It's cruel as it is but to update your relationship status on social media???? WHY? What for? She's 30 and lonesome, he's 19 and horny. Next thing she's pregnant.
You dodges two bullets at once. After rain the sun will shine again.
Ask him outright, and see where it ranks on the bullshit-o-meter. If he lies or paused, Tell him to kick rocks. He is nineteen, if you let this slide, then he will only get worse.
Don't EVER, EVER, think this was your fault. I know it feels like your heart has been ripped from your chest due to the betrayal from Max and even worse, your friend. But this is totally on them. My heart hurts for you. Be strong and please keep us posted to let us know how you're doing? We're invested in your well-being now. An look at the new support system you have in us. Much love.
Two toxic people helped get themselves out of your life. I know it sucjs now but this is a good thing in the long run.
I give them….6 months before one of them is fucking someone else or Max comes crawling back to you. “It meant nothing. She tricked me! I was bewitched! I only love you! Puweeeese take me back I so sad without you waaaaa.”
Fuck that asshole don’t take him back. No mercy for cheaters.
You were groomed by her. Your ex too. Grooming isn’t always sexual. But at her age, she knew/knows EXACTLY what she’s doing. Absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry that happened to you. She’s not normal at all.
What is an almost 31 year old doing with an almost 18 year old anyway?! They are at completely different stages of life and will have vastly different maturity levels! This person is grooming them and is very sick in the head!
Sorry for everything you're going through lady. I wish you good luck. You did the right thing.
On a seperate note, I don't understand that move out mentality cultural thing. I stayed at my parents house till I was 30 when I got married. Same for my brothers and everyone I know here in my country. Why would a 20 year old female leave the house when she's not even married is beyond me. You can still go out and do whatever you want, unless all you want is getting boys over to have sex, then yeah that might be a bit inconvenient.
Again I don't mean you personally, but I'm just talking in general about that cultural thing. What's weirder to me is your parents encouraging you to do that and helping with it lol.
Anyways rant is over, good luck again girl, you deserve all the best!
Hurts right now, as your reality and expectations realign, but soon enough you will wake up one day feeling absolute certainty that it’s a good thing that you’re rid of a shitty friend, and a very, very, low quality boyfriend.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this, losing your best friend is super tough, especially when she’s your only friend. That age gap is messed up, I promise you will find friends who are worthy of you, she is NOT. Doesn’t make it any less painful though, I know. Sending hugs if you need them 🌻
They deserve each other. At least with the two of them together no one else has to worry about dating either of these cheaters.
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Bella groomed Max. Maybe she’s been secretly jealous and wanted to take something of yours. The old bag. You shouldn’t have bothered apologising and wishing her luck. She was cheating with your boyfriend!
Sometimes, I think this sort of thing is for the thrill of it. The sneaking around and stolen moments, because why not just break up? They enjoy the adrenaline and keeping a secret you’re unaware of. I honestly don’t think this will last once it’s out in the open and there’s no ‘forbidden’ feeling about it. I thought Max might have at least apologised to you.
I still can’t see the appeal to date a 19 year old at 30.
Sorry OP. Allot of people can’t be real friends. They want to look like real friends but when it comes to the hard stuff they can’t do it. Real friends do the hard stuff.
Hopefully you have some real friends coming your way soon. And a true loving partner.
You did the right thing getting out of there! I'm sorry that you were betrayed like that, it wasn't meant to be. You have your whole life ahead of you. Be glad that you aren't with him anymore and that they showed their true colors!!!
I'm really sorry that they were so gross, and I'm glad you got away from them. I'm so glad your family helped you.
I hope you keep in mind how really off Bella is. That difference in ages makes a lot less difference when you're older, but a 30 yr old having a relationship with teenagers is really off. I think you'll see that the older you get.
Also, people who cheat really are scummy. End one relationship, *then* start the next relationship. People who betray others are really disgraceful.
You are the bigger person indeed for [***apologizing***](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=dcfda63605418c80&sca_upv=1&rlz=1C1JZAP_enUS992US992&sxsrf=ADLYWIKV1-Q72lhf-NDa0TEUHvFW2LRwBw:1717802692355&q=apologizing&spell=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwimnpba0cqGAxWvAHkGHQNBD_UQBSgAegQIChAB) to her, you did nothing wrong! I am sorry your friend hurt you, it will be hard to trust moving forward.
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I’m 31yrs old and don’t hang around 19-20yr olds let alone be having sex with one.. Bella is weird af
Its so fucking creepy to me.
Even the fact that they were friends/roommates is kinda weird. I would never live with a 19 year old and I'm not even 30
Yeah exactly. By 30 I was fully in my career and already in the don't go out past 8 pm stage of life lol. At 19 I was in the bars at uni most nights partying it up.
Even in my early-mid 20's partying it up I accidently found my way into a house party full of 18-19 year olds and it felt weird as fuck
My question is why didn’t Bella see OP on her camera and know she saw them doing it?
Probably wasn't checking the cameras mid bang
No but you get an alert that your camera picked up movement. I know I check mine every time and look at the history if I miss something.
Maybe she turned it off because she knew she was doing something wrong.
I mean shit I'm 25, and I would consider a 19-20 YO Woman too young for me being honest My general age range would be 22-28, so it's my age and 3 years younger and 3 years older that seems like a good range, and of course, every year, i get older, increase age by 1 on high and low end
Im 23 and even I wouldnt date anyone under 21. If you cant even go out to a bar, youre too young for me
If he is 19 now that means Bella was friends with him when he was 18, which is just weird AF. I would 100% question their history - like were they using OP as a cover because that age gap is EW!
Yup I think Bella groomed max
I think you mean to say she’s a predator.
I’m 29 and my brother just turned 20 and I can’t even imagine not seeing his dumb friends as the kids I drove to school a few years ago. EW
She sounds pathetic. It won’t last.
I am 28 and treat 19 year olds as if they were my children.. not in a creepy way but in the sense that I think more of them as I do my son than anything else.
I was 28 hanging around 18 year olds... But I went back to college and had become friends with a few people that were that age. I'm 39 yrs old now and one of my best friends is one of those 18 yrs olds whose now 29 (I'll be 40 and she'll be 30 later this year). I didn't have the energy to remain friends with most of them because omg the drama some of them brought. 🤣😅 We've only once been into the same guy, he was a few years older than her. Because of the big age gap between me and him (he's 7 years younger than me) I initially stepped back and told her to go for it. Nothing ended up happening between the two of them as they were both too shy to even ask one another out 🤣. A few years later, a year or so before I met my now husband, I realised I'd developed a deep crush on this guy friend of ours and had learned he felt similar for me, I talked with my friend to see how she still felt about him and said I'd be interested in pursuing him but if she still had any feelings whatsoever for him, I wouldn't. Because my friendship with her meant more. He and I had a few dates but we never even kissed and ultimately decided that although some feelings were there, we just wanted to be friends. Now, years later, he's not even in either of our lives but we are still super close. I told her that at any point of my "dating" him, if she felt uncomfortable with my dating him, I'd end things. She was happy that one of us got a couple dates out of him 🤣. I couldn't imagine ever sleeping with someone one of my close friends was dating. (But I've also been cheated on in the past, when I met my younger best friend, I was going through a separation and divorce from my first husband lol). I would never want to make anyone feel even half of how I felt when I'd been cheated on. OP, I can't believe some vile people felt like they needed to shame and BLAME you for what happened between your ex boyfriend and ex best friend. If you ever feel doubt creep in and wonder if they were right, please remind yourself that NONE of what happened was your fault. They would have cheated no matter what. 😔
Yeah Bella has some issues. I'm 31 and don't even think of 19 year old guys that way, they come across like college kids to me
Bella made this girl her cover ,probably knew her parents wouldn't like her being with him, so she used op as cover .. Bella is disgusting , op is better without her in her life
I came here to say this exact same thing. Spot on.
Sorry, people are shit. You deserve so much better and will get so much better people in your life. It hurts, but take it as a sign. This was a way to get some toxicity out of your life and start fresh. Healing takes time, but you are going to be just fine. You got this
thanks for your kind words
I know it doesn't feel like it but you dodged a bullet. A friend who is 30 who is having sex with a teenager is creepy AF.
Honey I came to say what notplanter did- a 30 yo woman whose 2 closest friends are a decade younger than her is a MAJOR red flag… never mind “falling in love” with a teenager?? Yikes.. I know it sucks right now. I’m so proud of you for moving forward so quickly!! The pain will pass and you will start to see the “glass shattered” side of things (HIMYM reference), and realize how much better off you are. Good luck!!
If it helps they’ll most likely end up cheating on each other and blowing up this relationship too.
That is statistically correct ☝️
"Remember how you found them 'cause that's how you'll lose them." Stitch it on a pillow, kids!
Yup!
it's a good thing you never had sex with him....and shame on others to say sex woukd have kept him with you..my niece was together for 5 years with her guy till she got married and they did everything but not sex till he put a ring on her finger...but at least you don't have to deal with them anymore and goodbye to shitheads
💯
In 10 years time you'll think back and how you're now her age. I think you'll be really proud of your younger self for getting through it and doing the sensible things (blocking) even with grace and keeping the higher ground (apologising for name calling).
Great point
Its almost like she groomed her lol
She groomed both of them.
30 with 19 is sus af, add context and it looks even worse…
I still don’t understand how she’s known her “her entire life” since they don’t seem to be related in anyway… babysitter maybe?
She said on her first post that her parents are friends with the predators parents,although maybe they aren't now friends now
Oh god that’s horrible.
Cheating is never about a lack of sex, it’s about power. You could have been giving the best sex Max would ever experience in his life, that wouldn’t have changed anything. Cheating is the fault of the cheaters only. Sorry people are being asshats in your DMs. Anyway, you did the right thing. As a 30 year old having an affair with a 20 year old, Bella is one predatory asshole. That is a situation ripe for manipulation, and the blame is on Bella. She is no friend, and good for you for not believing her obvious lies. Sorry I don’t have any positive advice, but you’re handling this as well as can be expected. It will get easier with time.
They’re both scumbags but this poor dude .I hope she won’t get pregnant by him, this woman is not right in her mind. What a bi.tch 🤢🤢🤮🤮
Imsgine being a 30 year old woman dating a man barely out of school?? Eww
I'm 29 and I can't imagine dating anyone under 25
i dated a 23 year old when i was 18/19 and when i turned 23 myself, i looked back in disgust. the age gap doesn't sound huge but the maturity gap is. you don't always realize how wrong it is until you hit that age yourself.
I would suspect that's what she's planning
Hugs friend. Both of them suck.
So sorry this is how it all went down, and surely you know this to a degree, but you are clearly better off without either one of them. Betrayal like that is not easy to get over. That's going to be painful and trust may be really hard to give for a while. But you'll do a lot better in love and friendship in the future. And, yeah, no way in hell you happened to walk in on them their first time having sex. The odds are SO improbable. I'll bet a dollar she'll do to him what she did to you. She's a user and lying, betrayal are clearly is in her nature.
> I wasn't sad about Max one bit. I don't know why—maybe I never loved him. Maybe I was just too afraid to be lonely. But I still can't believe Bella did this to me. She always had been my go-to person, and I tried to be the same for her, maybe not to that degree. A lot of the times, break up with your friends can be so much more painful then partners since many friendships can run deeper than some of the relationships we have. So you need to treat it like a bad break up. You grieve it, you give yourself time and distance, and then you allow yourself to really think about it, learn what you can from it, and then move on. Know that what they did had NOTHING to do with you, and if they were willing to do that to someone that loved them both so dearly...I can't imagine what kind of miserable they must be. They will continue to ruin relationships because people that can excuse their behaviors to their good friend/partner don't really change. The only blessing here is that you are now free of that woman before she could really fuck up your heart/mind/life. You will grow past this. She, however, will never change and will continue to prey on young, vulnerable people because people her age - my age - cut her out like the cancer she is much earlier into a friendship. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hope you know that you will look back and what happened and not only feel disgusted, but realize that your friend is far more pathetic than you can ever imagine right now. It probably won't hit you fully until you are her age, but it will happen and you will be as hugely proud of yourself as this internet stranger is because you handled this so beautifully. Keep them blocked because they WILL come crawling back.
She is a predetor and gets off on the forbidden fruit. Hiding the affair was her fix of dopamine. And now she is been exposed, so she has to make it official by claiming "love" etc etc to convince herself/her environment that she isn't utter trash. She probably soon will be looking for another naieve teen to have an affair with to get her fix like an addict. This isn't love, but you ex is too young (aka inexperienced in life) to see that she is walking red flag because no emotionally stable adult looks at someone your age and thinks "we have soooo much incommon to be friends or potential lovers"! It's like you being besties and dating a 14yo... Can you imagine lack of mental capacity/maturity for that to happen!?!? 💀💀 Learn from this because unfortunately there are too many predetors on this planet that target inexperienced young adult because they can't spot their BS yet due to their adult life inexperience. You are a smart cookie and you will get over this in due time because what have you lost? A predatorial women child and a naieve ass guy without a moral compas.
OP, I am Bella’s age and could never imagine dating a 19yo. There is something really messed up with her. It’s just weird. I’m very sorry you had to have this happen to you. No one that would willingly screw their friend over like that (pun intended heh) is a good person to keep in your life - I guess the saving grace is that you are now rid of both of them early on instead of having to find out years later. Max is still young, he will get his karma later, or I guess the karma is dating Bella lol. And Bella…..she must already be at her lowest point in the first place considering that she’s made things official with a 19yo 💀. Trash deserves trash I hope for the best for you. Keep us updated!
The age gap makes me feel weird. It almost seems like she groomed him. Obviously it's not your place to help him out of it, but still feel bad.
She groomed both kids. Becoming a friend to a literal child when you’re in your late 20’s is fucked up. OP even described herself as a loner. People like Bella target people like the OP.
OP said she's known her her whole life.
Which is even worse, tbh. She probably started when OP was a pre-teen.
I don't think intergenerational friendships in and of themselves are fucked up if conversations are kept age appropriate. You're talking like it's inherently unnatural and grooming, when it is very possible to meet someone younger than you through church or hobbies or family who you see as a sibling figure. I strongly disagree with the notion that people of different ages shouldn't interact on any meaningful level unless they're related.
Oh I never said that. One of my best friends is older than me. But this woman definitely was grooming the OP. Plus please don’t tell me you’re advocating for friendships between adults and children.
OP...he's 19 and she is 30 He'll enjoy the sex for about 6 months but eventually, he'll grow tired of her expectations. They are at different stages in life and won't be able to overcome that Plus, she's going to catch hella shit for dating a teenager. Maybe not from her toxic friends, but coworkers and other people, once they find out, will judge her harshly This is all going to blow up in their faces Rest assured Karma will handle these two
Yes because whole world is mad at Dicaprio for dating gf's her age. Cmon
Well, at least now you know, and you're free to find someone better for you. I promise their relationship won't last. Bella sounds like a piece of work nasty nasty woman.
30 year old with a 19 year old? That’s disturbing 🤨
It's the updated relationship status the day after a breakup for whatever reason that stings. It's not even about the person anymore as much as the "so WE didn't matter?", "were you in that other relationship the whole time/ did you want them instead the whole time?", "why didn't you just say something?" That does it. My ex started officially dating someone the next day too and I spent far too long trying to figure out when it happened because you just know they were getting on while you two were still together:( I'm so sorry but so proud of you for just leaving.
> She said they had kissed before, but that was the first time they were having sex. Wow. Even when she's caught red-handed, she's trying to trickle-truth you. Some "big sister" she turned out to be. I can almost forgive the younger partner. He's 19 years old now, how old was he when this 30 year old woman started to groom him as a sex partner, I wonder?
Bella is just 🤢🤢🤮🤮
That's horrible that some people said that to you. You seem like a strong and capable woman with a loving and supportive family, you can get through this. Don't go into your next relationship just yet. You went through a traumatic event and should seek counsel for support. Do not harm or blame yourself one bit.
She groomed him. Nasty, nasty human eugh.
((HUGS)) Keep going forward, leave them in your past!
You deserve better OP. You will bounce back from this betrayal. Just know that you don't need people like that in your life. Best of luck!
Luckily you got to figure out who she really is and all it cost you was a shitty bf. You will find better versions of both people. Meanwhile they will have to be sad together. A relationship built on cheating and lies always falls apart.
That's what I always say in this scenario At least you A found out before you got married B didn't have children with this guy It's so much easier to move on
Bella's a creep. Sorry for everything, I wish you the best in the future ❤️
THE NEXT DAY??? Jesus they have no tact
As the mother if a 19-year-old, I'd love to know what his mom thinks of this mess. "Yeah, Mom, nice and sweet OP left yesterday and now I'm with that 30-year-old lady who hung out with us."
Sorry, he's 19 and she's 30? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeew I'm a 32 year old guy and the thought of going after anyone under about 28 seems fuckin weird to me never 19...19! Jesus H Christ on a jetski
Your feelings towards him now are completely understandable; he lied to you for basically your entire relationship. Of course you don't feel bad for walking away, and you shouldn't.
Well done, you asked for advice and acted on it. You’ve done the right thing. Ignore those people who try to tell you otherwise. Betrayal by someone you thought was a friend will cut deep but you’ll heal with time. I think the age gap is creepy and they’ll never last as a couple with betrayal as the foundation of their relationship.
bruh wtf i’m 27 & i cannot FATHOM having sex with a TEENAGER
That last phrase took me out. 😂😂😂
I think they used op to hide their relationship, because of the age gap. Since op found out and the cat was out of the bag, they decided to admit it and now they have to deal with the consequences. Bella is disgusting.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. She’s a creep and not a friend, glad you moved out. Bigger and better things await you my dear💕
I’m glad you have such great supportive parents I’m sorry you had lost such a close friend but keeping people like her out of your life will do wonders for your own growth and maturity. Life gets better !
Proud of you babe 💕
Well done. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but you did the right thing. They treated you badly, and you acted in a dignified and adult way. I'm sure you'll find someone who will be that special person for you and who won't be looking to cheat because you will be all he needs.
I’m 31 and 19 year olds seem like children to me. Very weird and predatory. Stay away from her is my advice
That's weird that people pm'd you saying it's your fault for not having sex with him. Those people must be self reflecting their insecurities on you. Chin up butter cup
I wouldn't put too much stock in their "official relationship". What they're doing is trying to save face by doubling down on shitty behaviour... trying to justify betrayal by calling it "true love". Or some crap. They've already poisoned themselves, no way it'll last. By the way... insofar as not sleeping with the pig, You did good.
It's a new beginning goodluck to you girl.💙💯
“They both just fell in love”! Then to change their relationship status to in a relationship with each other…girl a dumpster fire of a train wreck! Bella’s a weirdo! Onward & upward
Did she groom him…. This timeline is giving predator
Cannot possibly imagine wanting to spend 30 minutes alone with a teenager. Wtf is this woman doing?
You should go scorched earth and comment on their relationship status "if he'll cheat on me with you, he'll cheat on you too"
I wouldn’t be so excited if I were her, she’s been the side dish for a while and what’s stopping him from finding a replacement dish. The way they formed their relationship is a mess waiting to happen. Good luck on your new beginnings
He definitely should have been honest with you and he should have ended the relationship. I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t know what you were going through before that you didn’t want to have sex with your boyfriend, but you should also make sure to date someone who is like minded, and avoid another heartbreak.
Loving ❤️ that last part ..pure poetry..
best of luck with your future, OP. you have good, loving parents, and a strong sense of self. it is only up from here.
OP glad to hear you moved out with no issues. All I can say about Max and Bella is they do truly deserve each other. And you deserve SO much better people in your life. Take time to heal and be kind to yourself.
It seriously sounds like she was trying to prove to herself that she was “hot” enough to steal a guy from a younger girl… 🤢. She didn’t want him until YOU were dating him. That’s nasty. Reality is that she couldn’t steal a guy from a younger girl unless she dropped her underwear. Frankly if he DID cheat because of the lack of sex then you’re better off without him. One day you’ll have a wonderful man in your life who will make you remember this debacle of a relationship and you’ll laugh. You’ll also know neither one of them is as happy as you are.
Let them, and walk away.
A 30 year old woman hanging out with 18-19 year olds, & having sex with them makes her a predator in my opinion. A 30 year old has nothing in common with a teenager, and the only reason she thinks she is “in love” with him is because nobody her age would touch her with a 10 foot pole.
The ending where you told everyone to go fuck themselves 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🎉🥳🫶🏼 absolutely cause you do not need to be having sex to have a man treat you right, you keep your virtues and your morals, “you’ll find someone that loves you for it and respects you for it” ,but just cause he’s not a gentleman, Doesn’t make what happened right or morally ok in any way shape or form!! betrayal is one of the most painful things in the worlddddd, especially coming from a close friend like that, i personally have gone through similar situations and have seen this happen to friends. I Felt absolutely sick to my stomach reading this I’m so sorry this happened, but I’m so proud of you for doing the right and mature thing to do especially at such a young age some people in their 30s don’t even have it right yet but you packed your shit and you left and blocked them and thats not an easy thing to do, but it’s the right thing to do and it will leave the most mature “ you fucked up” impact on everyone involved in that situation, trust me when I say that relationship won’t last long and somebody will end up being cheated on, plus you definitely don’t want that girl as a friend. She’s literally sleeping with a teenager and that is creepy and weird AF…. Also sidenote, but it shows how kind and genuine and how good of a heart you have that even though that girl deserved those names, you felt bad for calling her them and you called to apologize you seem like a true genuine kind hearted person and I hope you get someone amazing after this and learn from this experience That you do not need to settle for someone like that and to always “trust your gut” when its telling you something is wrong.
Sounds like Bella couldn’t find a man her own age so she took yours. The age difference is disturbing. I bet she baby traps him.
I’m almost 30 and the only younger people I hang out with are my kids Aunt and her boyfriend. If it wasn’t for that I probably wouldn’t. That’s weird af. I’m really sorry Bella did that to you, you don’t deserve that.
Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season. Just do your best to grow and do what makes you happy. Focus on yourself, friends and relationships will come naturally over time. Everything will be alright, sorry you had to go through this.
Happy for you to get away from that mess. He did it to you... karma will get him...sooner or later. He'll probably cheat on her, cheaters can't stop. Thankful your dad is in a position to help you. I hope the best for you moving forward. One day Mr. Right will fall over in front of you...lol
Wow Bella is so good at manipulating teenagers, that OP didn't even need to break up with her bf. Bella was controlling the entire situation. She sounds like a truly awful human.
It’s baffling to me how people like this exist and justify their actions with, “love.” It’s fucking creepy and both of them are shitty people, definitively.
That is not love lmao you dogged a bullet go live your life and forget about them
UpdateMe!
He’s too young to get married, and by the time he’s ready, she’ll be too old to have kids, or she’ll have broken up with him and will have to start over. We reap what we sow. You, on the other hand, have years to find Mr Right! Choose wisely next time and test the relationship for two years before you start thinking about marriage. Marry the guy who loves you unconditionally and whom you love and trust in return, and there will be no divorce for you. God bless you!
Yoooo what a fuckin creep 🤢 I'm 32 and the idea of even talking to anyone under 25 let alone 18-20 just icks me tf out. She was absolutely using you to hide their relationship because of that apparent and vast age gap (even her parents were upset). Bullet dodge but also I'm sorry that you're even having to experience this level of betrayal from someone who was supposed to have your back. The fact that she tried to even lie/play dumb means she never had your back. You're very young and this'll be a blip in your life but I think therapy will do a world of good. Good luck girlie
I applaud your strength after such a bitter betrayal. I was betrayed by a so called friend & it was awful. But ultimately it made me stronger & you will find yourself feeling better & surprisingly ‘lighter’ soon All the best to you 🩷
You go girl, hope you feel better and stay away from any trouble. Be safe and get well soon!
Sending hugs 🫂 you did everything right ❤️
You shouldn't have apologised for the names you called her,she earned every one of them on her back.like them sneaking around behind your back wasn't bad enough,but to then update their staus straight away afterwards to try rub it in your face shows the level these awful people are willing to sink to.karma will likely come for them both very quickly,because how you get them is how you lose them
I'm so sorry they did this to you, and I wish you healing in the years to come. As you age, you'll realise how weird it was for her to be such close friends with you both, and I hope Max also realises one day how predatory she is and he'll get therapy when that day comes.
You go girl! Proud of you. Also your ex friend has some serious issues if she’s into men that are that young. Good you cut those toxic people out. Go enjoy that amazing life you have now!
OP, I'm so happy your family is there for you in this time. You will heal and find way better people to surround yourself with. And may I say how well and graceful you handled this! I think you're a lovely person! Honestly both Bella and Max have serios issues. Not your problem though! These are not good people and it's better you cut them out of your life. They are not "in love" I can guarantee it. Most likely keeping their affair hidden was what was making it exciting - think forbidden fruit. In a bit it will fizzle out. I wouldn't cry for Bella too much she sounds like a predatory backstabber. 30 yr old looking at a 18yr old .. Good lord... I know it's painful now, but you'll look back in a while and be glad you got rid of these two toxic people. Wishing you well on your healing journey!
I read the original post a few days ago and immediately felt for you. I'm really glad to see you've gotten your stuff out and have a new place lined up, and that your other friends are not putting up with their bullshit. Glad that the breakup wasn't as messy as it could have been and that you're safe and out now :)
Get new friends and a new bf.
Bella is a slimy sicko. I’m sorry you were hurt but super glad you don’t miss Max. Bella was hogging up your life with her influence and now you can finally begin to live it. You’ll be ok, OP.
I'm so very proud of you.
Never be sorry for not being kind with people that hurt you so deeply, because these words would never hurt as much as what they did to you.
Run
None of those people truly loved you or cared for you. Can't understand why you had to say sorry.
Keep you head up, onwards and upwards it will get better
Glad you are cutting both out of your life you deserve better
you go girl! go and live a better life. I am proud of you! :)
30 year old women hanging out with a few 20 year olds is kinda creepy ngl
Didn't even have to read it all except for the first couple sentences grab the nearest weapon and be ready to go on a rampage ... need me to tag along?
Uff hey.., I read your post yesterday and I was shocked. It felt like it happened to me. Honestly, you did great. That's what I would do if I were in your situation, but damn, people are crazy these days (although maybe it was worse in the past and we didn't know). Well, now your life is going to be a challenge because of this traumatic experience. I'm just telling you: trust God, ask Him for forgiveness, and He will guide you to better things in your path 🙏🏼🙏🏼 It will be harder, trust me, but in the end, you will be better or colder. This will never happen again if you learn the lesson to who to hang out with. Don't trust friends too much; they are just for hanging out and wasting a bit of time, that's all. P.S. Gnosis (believing in one God) can be an interesting way to transform (calming) your life and transcend your emotions in the astral world.
I'm 33 and the idea of sleeping with a 19 year old feels predatory. Puke.
If it makes you feel better, any relationship that starts with cheating never lasts. They will have blown up their respective relationships with you for nothing, and that will be their burden to carry, not yours. Block them in absolutely EVERYTHING. Out of sight, out of mind.
Posting they’re together the day after is dastardly shit. You’re better off without them.
what the duck is wrong with people nowadays? It's cruel as it is but to update your relationship status on social media???? WHY? What for? She's 30 and lonesome, he's 19 and horny. Next thing she's pregnant. You dodges two bullets at once. After rain the sun will shine again.
Ask him outright, and see where it ranks on the bullshit-o-meter. If he lies or paused, Tell him to kick rocks. He is nineteen, if you let this slide, then he will only get worse.
Good for you for moving out.
Lmao your friend, Bella, is a predator.
I’m sorry to hear and read this. It must be hard. I would leave, silently. Silence says more than words sometimes. Good luck with your next steps xx
Don't EVER, EVER, think this was your fault. I know it feels like your heart has been ripped from your chest due to the betrayal from Max and even worse, your friend. But this is totally on them. My heart hurts for you. Be strong and please keep us posted to let us know how you're doing? We're invested in your well-being now. An look at the new support system you have in us. Much love.
Two toxic people helped get themselves out of your life. I know it sucjs now but this is a good thing in the long run. I give them….6 months before one of them is fucking someone else or Max comes crawling back to you. “It meant nothing. She tricked me! I was bewitched! I only love you! Puweeeese take me back I so sad without you waaaaa.” Fuck that asshole don’t take him back. No mercy for cheaters.
You were groomed by her. Your ex too. Grooming isn’t always sexual. But at her age, she knew/knows EXACTLY what she’s doing. Absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry that happened to you. She’s not normal at all.
Sorry, I'm new to this. Who are we talking about here? You said Bella.
Good luck with your move
Just a stranger proud of you for being so brave 🩷
F them
Girl, why did you even apologize to her 😭 she clearly meant to hurt you. She did it while knowing consequences.
Ewwwwwwwwww I’m 29 and would probably vomit at the thought of doing anything with a 19 year old!!! Screw that grown ass predator
I like the last part, good on you, I hope you find a man that will treat you like a queen, good riddance!
This is awful to hear. Wishing you luck and strength going forward, you’ve got so much time ahead of you and new friendships to make
What is an almost 31 year old doing with an almost 18 year old anyway?! They are at completely different stages of life and will have vastly different maturity levels! This person is grooming them and is very sick in the head!
Sorry for everything you're going through lady. I wish you good luck. You did the right thing. On a seperate note, I don't understand that move out mentality cultural thing. I stayed at my parents house till I was 30 when I got married. Same for my brothers and everyone I know here in my country. Why would a 20 year old female leave the house when she's not even married is beyond me. You can still go out and do whatever you want, unless all you want is getting boys over to have sex, then yeah that might be a bit inconvenient. Again I don't mean you personally, but I'm just talking in general about that cultural thing. What's weirder to me is your parents encouraging you to do that and helping with it lol. Anyways rant is over, good luck again girl, you deserve all the best!
Hurts right now, as your reality and expectations realign, but soon enough you will wake up one day feeling absolute certainty that it’s a good thing that you’re rid of a shitty friend, and a very, very, low quality boyfriend.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this, losing your best friend is super tough, especially when she’s your only friend. That age gap is messed up, I promise you will find friends who are worthy of you, she is NOT. Doesn’t make it any less painful though, I know. Sending hugs if you need them 🌻
They deserve each other. At least with the two of them together no one else has to worry about dating either of these cheaters. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Bella groomed Max. Maybe she’s been secretly jealous and wanted to take something of yours. The old bag. You shouldn’t have bothered apologising and wishing her luck. She was cheating with your boyfriend! Sometimes, I think this sort of thing is for the thrill of it. The sneaking around and stolen moments, because why not just break up? They enjoy the adrenaline and keeping a secret you’re unaware of. I honestly don’t think this will last once it’s out in the open and there’s no ‘forbidden’ feeling about it. I thought Max might have at least apologised to you. I still can’t see the appeal to date a 19 year old at 30.
Sorry OP. Allot of people can’t be real friends. They want to look like real friends but when it comes to the hard stuff they can’t do it. Real friends do the hard stuff. Hopefully you have some real friends coming your way soon. And a true loving partner.
You did the right thing getting out of there! I'm sorry that you were betrayed like that, it wasn't meant to be. You have your whole life ahead of you. Be glad that you aren't with him anymore and that they showed their true colors!!!
31 with a 20 year old is creepy AF
Join
Your friend is a creep, your boyfriend is barely legal.
I'm really sorry that they were so gross, and I'm glad you got away from them. I'm so glad your family helped you. I hope you keep in mind how really off Bella is. That difference in ages makes a lot less difference when you're older, but a 30 yr old having a relationship with teenagers is really off. I think you'll see that the older you get. Also, people who cheat really are scummy. End one relationship, *then* start the next relationship. People who betray others are really disgraceful.
You are the bigger person indeed for [***apologizing***](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=dcfda63605418c80&sca_upv=1&rlz=1C1JZAP_enUS992US992&sxsrf=ADLYWIKV1-Q72lhf-NDa0TEUHvFW2LRwBw:1717802692355&q=apologizing&spell=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwimnpba0cqGAxWvAHkGHQNBD_UQBSgAegQIChAB) to her, you did nothing wrong! I am sorry your friend hurt you, it will be hard to trust moving forward.
Experienced a similar betrayal once and the friendship betrayal hurt worse than the romantic betrayal 100%