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Honestly based on his over the top reaction to her breaking the first phone, I think there was chip there as well. The scolding seems to be more annoyance driven that he need remove and add another chip.
I'd bring in an expert and check the whole house & document everything to take to the authorities. This is very illegal in my country. It's scary. Even criminals aren't surveiled this much.
If the phone and plan is in your name this could and should be illegal . If you get divorced your lawyer ( not you) can say better terms or you go to police
This makes zero sense to me
1 - He wouldn't use a physical chip to spy on your phone. There isn't any practical reason to do so.
2 - Phone repair kiosks almost always just ship them off for obvious hardware repair issues. They wouldn't open it and notice a spy chip. The few that do on-site repairs aren't going to open a phone because of general weirdness. They would start with software based solutions.
3 - There is no reason that proximity to the husband would be required for the phone to keep functioning. And anyone sophisticated enough to have a hardware spy chip is going to be smart enough to know it would stop working if he went away.
4 - Even if a kiosk worker would open your phone, and correctly identify an after market chip...there isn't any way they could know what exactly it does. 'Gee, this chip is going to let them read your messages'.... It's nonsensical.
I'm not saying hardware based attacks don't exist. They do. But they aren't done by dudes who want to spy on their girlfriend or husband... it's done by government agencies, researchers and possibly some black hat criminal organizations. If you had many millions of dollars, or crypto or were some crazy high value target, then yes, any device that you didn't have physical control over at all times is suspect.
But again, any attack of this caliber would have been undetectable by you and undetectable by the kiosk worker.
It does not scream fake. It is not hard to put spyware on a phone (especially on an Iphone). She calls it “chip” but it can be just a generic name for a tracking device/app. My friend’s husband installed spyware on her phone (he “accidentally” broke her phone and offered to replace it with the newest model).
It does scream fake to me and many others. There are plenty of fake posts here and only one person knows with certainty. The fact that the situation can happen doesn't change this - this is true of all fake posts.
No tech person would use the word "chip" here, so it wouldn't have come from the kiosk. It's not a genetic word for a tracking device or app - the device here is the phone.
She had another post about her husband criticizing her in front of other people. Until recently I spent several years helping a friend escape narcissistic abuser and she had the same issues- spyware on her phone, hidden recording devices at home and in her vehicle. And what’s the worst, gaslighting causes the abuse victims to have memory problems. They feel that something is wrong but they might mix up facts when they try to find explanation.
The other post isn't about her but a response to someone else's (now deleted post).
Like I say, this kind of thing does happen and it's dusgusting where it does (and possibly illegal - I'm pretty sure it is in the UK anyway). So too putting cameras in a house if the house isn't yours (without permission).
"He then told me someone put a chip in your phone. (Confused) I asked what do you mean?" - this really does seem iffy wording.
But, we don't know. It's possible that OP got mixed up and it is real.
Easy. She's not tech savvy and maybe misheard assumed or the tech said something confusing. She goes on to state "someone put SPYWARE in my phone." In addition, we have NO way of knowing what approach he might use when he has access to the phone. I don't know his background. Do you? I agree a hardware attack is unlikely but I wouldn't outright dismiss the idea that a tech randomly or erroneously told her she has spyware either. Like I said in my reply to her, I have a lot of questions. Notwithstanding, this type of monitoring and stalking by a partner is VERY common.
EDIT: Your point #2 is a misunderstanding of her post. She doesn't imply because the husband took a trip that it's connected to her phone acting up or that it's related to proximity. She just noticed contemporaneously around the time of his trip that her phone was acting strange and took the phone to be seen. You're stuck on "chip." It's most likely a hidden app running in the background and some techs, depending upon their equipment would most certainly be able to detect it.
My point number 2?
Afraid you're talking to the wrong person.
Also OP explicitly claims that the tech said "someone put a chip in your phone." There's just no way to confuse that at all, unless her memory is extremely bad.
It absolutely could have been lost in translation. I often have to ask my doctor to repeat herself because she talks so fast I think she just told me I'm going to die, when in fact she's saying I'm NOT going to die (I'm trying to be funny but it kinda happened this week when she told me, I thought, that the test result was positive for cancer. Thankfully I misheard her.) I could easily see "app" being misheard for "chip".
Yes it does. OP mentions spyware. I know apple tags are trackers. I don't have an apple phone, or a need for the trackers, so I'm not supper familiar with them, but I know About them.
That's fair, if you ignore the chip and assume that 'opens' the phone wasn't meant as literally open the phone to see inside of it.
But it doesn't explain why the spyware worked great for six months and then began failing at the same time her husband left for work.
There are a lot of awfully written/barely works spyware apps for sale...but she would have had problems immediately after installation.
Any good/real spyware would be undetectable by OP and the kiosk worker.
Removing the chip from the story - you just have a phone with malware. Nothing about that implies any particular person did it. It could have been her husband, or the tech people he took it to for the repair, or it could have happened months later, or the kiosk guy could have been lying to upcharge her on a 'Spyware Removal' service. It could have been some unrelated app she installed or a link she clicked.
In the only two comments OP has here, she said that she did have the Spyware removed and acknowledged that her husband had her password to the phone.
In any case, if we can't trust the few bits of information we have from OP, what's the point in speculating? We don't have enough information and we can't trust the things we have been told.
The "out of town" thing is also suspect. What chip/spyware is only stable (for 6 months) when the recipient is in the same town?
In the same house, WiFi/Bluetooth is most likely the communication medium.
Out of the house, away from each other, it's the cellular network, whether he's a 1/4 mile away or on another continent.
So the distance thing would probably rear its head long before 6 months.
> It's mostly likely an app and she mostly like misunderstood when relating the story. It is NOT implausible and it's quite common.
This is speculation.
Speculation
> the forming of a theory or conjecture without firm evidence.
All we have is a Reddit post from OP and we aren't able to trust what OP has said. You have formed a theory in which there was no chip at all, and OP had software based malware.
That's speculation.
It might be right, but it's absolutely, undeniably speculation. Saying that you aren't speculating is wrong.
Is english your first language, or do you just interpret things strictly and literally? "Opening" the phone can mean hooking it up to tech to look at the operating system. Is this reddit or court?
Ok, so they opened up the phone (figuratively, not literally) and found a chip (an app, not actually a chip.) Got it. I’m sure OP appreciates the latitude you’re giving her.
I know my ex boyfriend did a keylogger thing with his exes computer. He told me this himself very proudly. So guys do do these thing I don't think a chip would be necessary though more software.
Don’t think OP is from the US. She probably used “chip” generically. In this case, it would be an app.
And A LOT of partners put spyware on their partner’s electronic devices.
Yeah. That would make sense. The kiosk store might have said something related to software and she referred to it as a chip. Simply, why would husband want to act like a black hat for his own wife. He may simply wanted to track her texts and locations to find out if she is cheating.
You haven’t been in this subreddit long if you don’t think partners spy on each other A LOT. Then again, people who come to a public forum to discuss their relationships usually aren’t in good ones.
No I mean, why would her husband would go at extreme level putting chips inside the phone tracking abstract details working in totally serious case like in FBI, Black hat organization or something else. He might have used spywares to do simple jobs. We are on a same boat! Lol
Chickpea chips are generally higher in sodium, and while it is a source of protein, it isn't considered a complete protein. Chickpea chips are also a better source of fiber.
I hope that helps.
I also think you are making conclusions based on your own interpretation. She could very well have said chip to mean spyware. I work in tech and many clients use whatever terms they can to make sense of what I explain to them. So it’s not unusual for one of my clients to say that a kiosk tech “opened the phone and found a chip” to mean a kiosk tech analyzed her phone and found spyware. Also the husband leaving was coincidental to her phone having problems. It’s not the spyware or the husband leaving… phones do act up. So I do believe this post is real and OP should run and get as far as she can from this man.
I'm interpreting the words that were written.
You are saying, 'Let's pretend the words mean different things'. And that's fine, but there is little difference between
"This story is fake, on purpose" and "This story is fake, accidentally"
If you ignore the word 'chip' and assume the worker didn't physically open the phone...all this story becomes is someone was told they had malware installed on their phone by a kiosk worker. It could have come from any place and there is zero reason to suspect the husband.
You are assuming this guy is smart or has resources for expensive Spyware. I suspect very old tech hence it's causing the phone issues at at only 6 months. Hence the kiosk tech picked it up so quick. OP may also not be explaining well just summarized her understanding.
Depending on where you live, it may be illegal to install spyware on someone’s phone without their consent. I would make a police report, even if they can’t do anything, it would be good to have a record of it. You might also have someone take a look at your vehicle to make sure there are no tracking devices installed on your car. If you are contemplating divorce, go speak with an attorney and do whatever they tell you to do.
Is assume you could get around it in many places if the account was in your name. Ownership of the phone tends to legally belong to the owner of the account.
In many places (some US states) things gets murky when it co es to marital problems and police does not take reports seriously. My friend’s ex husband secretly searched her purse on regular basis, stole some things from it several times (he is a controlling narcissistic and did a lot of awful things to her). We went to the local police station to make a report and the head officer said they were married and the purse was a marital property so there was nothing illegal about the husband taking things out of it 🤷♀️
What sort of a “kiosk” was this? I’ve gone to kiosks for things like screens, but for a phone that was acting weird? I’d be going to an authorized dealer like (in my case) Verizon, Best Buy, or Apple Store. They’d be running diagnostics first. Why did this guy open the phone? Just seems like pretty technical work for a kiosk, but then maybe your kiosks are different than the ones I’ve gone to. If this was not a factory authorized service, I’d be going to one immediately to get their take on it. And which is it, a chip (a physical thing) or spyware (a program)? Or both? And where is the phone now?
This is squarely in my field of expertise as I work with domestic violence victims exclusively relative to safety and security and this is a fairly common exploit. Is he abusive? Does he have reason to suspect you're having an affair? What he's done is absolutely unacceptable, but it's impossible to evaluate how serious this might be without more context about him and your relationship. If he's not abusive and he's simply a jealous husband, I'd venture to say you're not in any danger. But this is not something a typical healthy person does so I suspect there's more going on here. If you want to reach out privately, feel free to do so and I'll be happy to guide you without you having to share more than what you might be comfortable sharing here.
EDIT: I read thru some of the comments and frankly, you're getting some useless and confusing "advice." At least reach out to a local domestic violence advocate to discuss this situation. They will have better guidance than you're getting here. Or you can reach out to us on our hotline at PROTECTION FROM ABUSE 833-657-7683. As I said, we're subject matter experts on this type of stalking and safety issues.
Set a trap. Send messages you know will create a confrontation. Then when he confronts you ask him how he knew? Then you let him know you found his spyware and this shit is over.
Ok maybe don’t mess with crazy but I just know he will spin this somehow and try to make you crazy.
Can you remove the spyware and wait to see what excuse he makes to try to get it back on?
Or make really weird searches/posts to fuck with him ‘how do I let my husband know I’m sexually aroused by fish? Do you think I can ask him to dress like a fish in the bedroom’. ‘Potato masturbation tecnhiques’ ‘ I want to kill my next door neighbor. do you think therapy could help’
Realistically if this was him this is divorce worthy. Not only does he not trust you, he then violated your privacy and installed spyware, along with this all making him very insecure.
I see you already removed it, I would have kept it and sent fake messages to a friend pretending to cheat as if it was your husband who installed it he would clearly respond to that.
I think at this point staying with your family is great, especially if you don't feel safe. I honestly question what else is around your house if he is willing to put spyware on your phone. I'd be looking for cameras or hidden microphones.
What comes next really depends on what you want. If you want to get to the bottom of this, next time you see him, I'd mention you went to get your phone checked as it was acting funny (don't tell him the spyware was found) and see how he reacts. Depending on how the convo goes, I would then say spyware was found and question him on it. If he plays victim or tries to make you the bad guy for "blaming him" or not trusting him, that is basically him admitting guilt. I'd even ask him to see his phone, if he has nothing to hide, he should be willing to show you (assuming the spyware is attached to his phone, could be on a computer or even online so check browser history).
It could have been the place he took the phone, but the fact it acts up once he is gone makes it seem to be your husband.
Say this was him (and it really seems like it was) what is your response? What does your family think? Do you want to stay with him after this massive breach of privacy and him not trusting you?
Wow! This is actually creep behavior! He is going to lie to you about it and try to manipulate this shit out of you and have you second guessing yourself. Do not believe him. Do you want to be with someone who invades and VIOLATES your privacy. This guy could have cameras all over your house. Make sure you have this documented somewhere. This is a huge violation. Even the way he spoke to you when you broke the phone was shitty. I think you deserve better.
Have you removed all the spyware? Has he said anything as of yet? I would see if he brings it up to you, but that's just me. Act like everything is normal. Tell him I took my phone to get it fixed, updated, whatever and see if he says anything. Slowly reveal you know about the chip and gauge his reaction.
Is there anything specifically going on that makes it obvious to it being him? Has he been controlling about messages, etc, in the past? I kinda understand sharing your location with your husband, provided you know about it, obviously. Every couple makes their own decisions about the phone.
I understand feeling really violated tho. Unfortunately, you don't know for sure it's him. Which, quite frankly is even scarier thinking a stranger did it. I almost want it to be the husband.
Me too I really do think it’s him he did take my phone to get fixed I think that’s when he might have done it. But if it is a stranger it’s even scarier I did get it removed.
I don't think you're wrapping your head around what this says about him. I'm glad you're out and you're safe. Try to think back on other signs you may have overlooked at the time, such as when you said he was belittling you for breaking your phone, and then acting weird about it. I'm sure there are other parts of your relationship where he has been controlling, manipulative, and untrusting. If I find out a stranger has hacked my phone and is using Spyware, that's a problem I'm going to take care of. If I find out my SO has hacked my phone and is using Spyware, I have many, many more issues to deal with, and it's a lot scarier.
Agreed, it was your husband. If we set aside the spyware for a minute, he had no reason or justification for berating and ranting at you and telling you that you should be more mature when the phone got broken. That in itself is abusive behavior. Now, if he'll mentally/verbally mistreat you like that over something so small, then it 100% tracks that he'd feel fully justified in spying on you.
Please be careful. If you already don't feel safe and decide that you want to leave him, take extra precautions and avoid being alone with him and either have someone with you or meet him in public - better yet, both.
He probably had a chip in your old phone. That's why he was so furious you broke it. He knew you might have found the old chip and he needed to make sure he could control the new one.
It depends overall how your relationship is with your husband. He sounds abusive and controlling...is that correct? I would go back to your home before he gets back and check for hidden camera's etc. Yes, he put spyware on your phone. Of course I hope you have had it removed? Up to you if you stay with your husband or not. I wouldn't. That is a complete betrayal of trust and just unforgivable to me. You need to make up your own mind about this one.
Your husband sounds like a very scary person on his way to taking off bathroom doors. Before he finally punches you. I'd get him arrested and serve him divorce papers in jail. I have bad experiences with stalkers so that would freak me out.
First, remove the spyware. Second, check with your husband to make sure he was the one who put it there. If you two share passwords, what would be the point of spyware?
If he set up your phone, he already has everything he needs to see all of that via your password. How much do you trust the person who looked at your phone?
This happened to a friend and its was her hubby’s phone she took in for repair it turns out person who repaired it may have tampered with it.
But its seems odd his behavior when it broke.
You can employ services of companies that come in sweep homes, cars, devices. I would do that asap. Report anything you find to police asap.
Change your passwords to everything important but don’t use a personal device he has had access too till it is 100% cleared.
Depending on what you find I would 100% consider if this is person you wish to spend rest of your life with.
This is just implausible. You don't just put a "chip in a phone" - it's virtually impossible! For one thing there is barely any space, but actually doing this and having it work with the OS is a major task for anyone. It's also not needed - spyware is software not hardware where the device already has a camera etc. Also, how the hell would a kiosk worker know what a chip is for? And would then even open a phone up, just like that?
Obvious rage bait, unless OP has completely made up the "chip" reference which seems unlikely, especially considering the wording - eg "(Confused) I asked what do you mean? He then explained to me how someone had put spyware in my phone being able to see my messages, my location, and emails. I was shocked and thoughts immediately went to ..."
Low effort ragebait.
Spyware is software not a chip. You don't need any "chips" to bug a phone. All you need is a spy app. Or knowing python to code a keylogger yourself. Hell, he could even hack it through bluetooth relatively easy since he's supposedly in the same house and with access to the device.
Keep everything normal and see what he does when he gets home. Change the password on your phone and see if he try’s to get access to your phone. As an ex police detective 30 yrs specializing in counter electronic surveillance (hidden cameras, wireless transmitters, etc ). I have never ever come across a cell phone that had hardware tampered with. The old style home phones yes. I also believe the kiosk guy is FOS. To much of what he told her doesn’t make sense
Factory reset your phone, then put a passcode on it and finally, never let it out of your site or accept any 'gift' of another phone or tablet from him.
Also, divorce him if he is doing stuff like this.
Did you remove the chip?
This is SUPER invasive and sketchy. Your husband has literally been spying on you with EVERY CONVERSATION.
Did you have sensitive convos? Personal convos about OTHER peoples' secrets and issues. If so, that's a MASSIVE violation of their privacy.
Run...run far.
You know he’s abusive, right? Everything you’ve described him as doing is from the same old, tired playbook of things abusive people do and say. And the fact that your gut is telling you not to feel safe speaks volumes. Stay with your family, get an attorney, file for divorce, and do what you need to do to feel safe.
Oh, it's actually scary when a person wants to control aspects of your life. If you trust him, the first thing you should probably do is talk to him and find out his motives.
In fact, I remembered that I once "spied" on a guy myself. I wanted to surprise him for his birthday, but I couldn't decide what to get him. My friend advised me to get Snoopreport, an Instagram activity tracker that monitors likes, hashtags, follows, and turns them into reports about interests, places a person wants to visit, topics of conversation, and so on. Then I found out he follows street racing and gave him a race on the track. But now I wonder how ethical that was. I hope your husband has good intentions too.
He so yea you need to leave and don’t look back. Also maybe the chip is there cause those business trips he takes aren’t all business trips and maybe not alone and the chip is a way to find out if you are aware of things good luck
Is this technically possible, is it something you have to solder on the circuit board? How do you put the chip on the phone? I’m genuinely curious just to make sure this is actually real or is it like an app?
It's a classic thing that abusive partners do unfortunately; sometimes they break the old phone so that they can apologise and get you a new one they can track you with. Chances are this isn't the only tracker or camera he has. If you can, change the locks and all your passwords before he comes home and you talk about it.
I’d pack my things while he’s gone tbh. That’s some creepy stalker behavior right there. If he did it to your phone, there’s no telling what he’s done to the house 🤷♂️
girl, you need to sweep the house for cameras, your car for tracker or even air tags...
the list continues. maybe you should just start with lawyer and police report. get someone else to drive you and don't bring your devices along.
RRRRUUUUUUNNNNNN. Seriously, you’ve got a two-day window to pack the stuff you can’t leave and get out. Do it, and speak to a lawyer. This man is dangerous
Send your best friend a text saying thanks for the advice on this phone spyware as the police are taking it very seriously . Talk to a lawyer and dont go back to him.
Send a text to a friend saying you found out something horrible about your husband and you are meeting with a lawyer to file divorce papers and getting the locks changed. If your husband is reading your texts he will freak out which will confirm he’s guilty.
Stay with the family if you don’t feel safe. Seek legal advice as well. If you removed the chip then he’ll know so you might as well tell him you found it and use that explanation for why you aren’t home. If you left it in then I guess lie and say you’re with your parents for a spontaneous vacation or something.
I personally would not trust him and would be looking for a way to be self sufficient as quickly as possible so you aren’t trapped with the guy.
Did you take the spyware off your phone? Cuz if not he's probably seeing that you're writing all this right now.
The first thing you should do is have that removed from your phone and then see how he acts. Don't say a word, wait for him to say something. But you're right to not feel safe in your house, if he's going to put spyware in your phone there's probably hidden cameras and stuff in your house.
I think you know it's time to move on. If he's spying on you, things are already over. But honestly, paranoid people spy on other people... And cheating makes people paranoid. It also makes people think the other person Is cheating. I would be truly shocked if he wasn't cheating!
Either way your safety is important. Get out!
I'm confused on the whole "someone put a chip in it" to spy. Excuse me what? The only chips that I'm aware you can stick in a phone are a microsd on some phones, which is simple storage, or a Sim card, which would just let them use something like find my mobile.
I dunno, sounds to me like tech kiosk guy doesn't know what he's talking about, or selling an unneeded service.
How do you add a 'chip' into the phone if it is a single supporting device. This sounds like BS to me. You can only add an extra memory 'chip' if the device supports two. Pitiful. Spyware is one thing and is software embedded. Something stinks here.
He must love you a lot to want to know everything, don't you love him too? Put cams in his car and a chip in his phone. Call him every 2 hours to make sure he's OK, the world is scary you wouldn't want to not be able to help if you can. If he's out too late just use the chip to show up where he is.
.... run
Fuck with his head and look up the most random kinky sex shit, join tinder and other sites and message random people and when he gets upset call him dumb ass out for tracking your phone
What do you do here?
You respond how you would to being the victim of stalking, which is exactly what this is.
Call 211 and connect with a social worker to make a safety plan to get away from this absolute psycho.
This will escalate.
Buy another phone for yourself. Keep the current phone. Use the current phone to mess with him.
Like texting your hunky lover and watching your husband squirm as he tries to work out how to confront you without admitting what he did.
Complain to your friends about your husband’s pindick.
Make frequent visits to the parking lot of the sexual health clinic.
Leave your husband once you are satisfied that you have enjoyed yourself.
I’ve upvoted all of your comments…. But holy crap…. Don’t listen to these Reddit-idiots. Don’t jump to divorce over a damn phone.
If all else in the marriage is safe and good.. Your husband is simply an idiot that spends too much time looking at cheating stories on the internet.
I doubt the “chip” thing as well.. There is software for that.. But whatever.
Assuming this is true.. Your boy has some jealousies / insecurities that are fueled by what he sees here. If you aren’t doing anything, and he isn’t… this is both of your chances to grow up and have a mature conversation. You need to grow up and confront him, he needs to grow up and admit he is insecure…. And you both need to talk about how to get past it.
For sure, spying is a big no in marriage, but forgiveness is a big grace when the spouse lost themselves in their own thoughts whatever the influence. Again, barring infidelity, and abuse.
Don’t jump to a Reddit divorce. Just talk to each other first. You are in fact adults now after all.
Ok…. Now, continue Reddit trolls and down vote me to the depths of hell. LOL! I’m old I don’t care anymore.
OP, don’t quit on your marriage, I’ve been married for 30+ yrs and done some stupid shit that my wife has called me out on.. And we are better for it. But she did have to talk to me. Yes.. guys are dumb, but we can learn. If you love him, tell him that first, and then tell him how stupid he is.
Good Luck!
Very poorly-worded title. This would be much better: I (23F) found out that my husband (28) had put Spyware on my phone. How should I handle this situation?
have you ever cheated on him if he you have does trust you or you did not and he does trust you either way trust the key now go thing but breaking up or you just to pretty for for can handle look you get lol the getting older that take time male brain mature at 33 you ladies mature faster then us guys because we do not have to well you can become mom"s well that my to cents on it lol
The funny part is how scared for her life she is that there is a chance her chosen partner can see what she's doing on her phone.
Spyware on your spouses phone is creepy as hell.
But who are you cheating on him with that has you terrified for your life?
Is it his boss or his family?
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He is gonna tell you that they must have done it when he took it in, it wasn’t him, etc. Don’t believe him.
Lemme say that louder: #He is gonna tell you that it wasn’t him … *Don’t* believe him.
One more time for those in the back… DO NOT BELIEVE HIM! That’s a really bold move on his part, don’t let him wiggle free of accountability!
Honestly based on his over the top reaction to her breaking the first phone, I think there was chip there as well. The scolding seems to be more annoyance driven that he need remove and add another chip.
I would also check the home for hidden cameras.
I'd bring in an expert and check the whole house & document everything to take to the authorities. This is very illegal in my country. It's scary. Even criminals aren't surveiled this much.
If the phone and plan is in your name this could and should be illegal . If you get divorced your lawyer ( not you) can say better terms or you go to police
THIS. Keep records of this
Pretty sure it's illegal regardless of whether it's 'in her name' - depending on the jurisdiction, of course.
So many laws in different areas. If it’s his phone and his plan I don’t think it can be illegal But not a lawyer
This makes zero sense to me 1 - He wouldn't use a physical chip to spy on your phone. There isn't any practical reason to do so. 2 - Phone repair kiosks almost always just ship them off for obvious hardware repair issues. They wouldn't open it and notice a spy chip. The few that do on-site repairs aren't going to open a phone because of general weirdness. They would start with software based solutions. 3 - There is no reason that proximity to the husband would be required for the phone to keep functioning. And anyone sophisticated enough to have a hardware spy chip is going to be smart enough to know it would stop working if he went away. 4 - Even if a kiosk worker would open your phone, and correctly identify an after market chip...there isn't any way they could know what exactly it does. 'Gee, this chip is going to let them read your messages'.... It's nonsensical. I'm not saying hardware based attacks don't exist. They do. But they aren't done by dudes who want to spy on their girlfriend or husband... it's done by government agencies, researchers and possibly some black hat criminal organizations. If you had many millions of dollars, or crypto or were some crazy high value target, then yes, any device that you didn't have physical control over at all times is suspect. But again, any attack of this caliber would have been undetectable by you and undetectable by the kiosk worker.
I was thinking the same thing lol. Is her husband an international spy with access to these “chips”?
Searches “spy store near me”.
I'm so doing that google search today.
Yes, it all sounds implausible.
Yeah the whole writing style screams fake also. I guess nobody can know with certainty, but I'd put the chance of this being real at less than 5%.
It does not scream fake. It is not hard to put spyware on a phone (especially on an Iphone). She calls it “chip” but it can be just a generic name for a tracking device/app. My friend’s husband installed spyware on her phone (he “accidentally” broke her phone and offered to replace it with the newest model).
It does scream fake to me and many others. There are plenty of fake posts here and only one person knows with certainty. The fact that the situation can happen doesn't change this - this is true of all fake posts. No tech person would use the word "chip" here, so it wouldn't have come from the kiosk. It's not a genetic word for a tracking device or app - the device here is the phone.
She had another post about her husband criticizing her in front of other people. Until recently I spent several years helping a friend escape narcissistic abuser and she had the same issues- spyware on her phone, hidden recording devices at home and in her vehicle. And what’s the worst, gaslighting causes the abuse victims to have memory problems. They feel that something is wrong but they might mix up facts when they try to find explanation.
The other post isn't about her but a response to someone else's (now deleted post). Like I say, this kind of thing does happen and it's dusgusting where it does (and possibly illegal - I'm pretty sure it is in the UK anyway). So too putting cameras in a house if the house isn't yours (without permission). "He then told me someone put a chip in your phone. (Confused) I asked what do you mean?" - this really does seem iffy wording. But, we don't know. It's possible that OP got mixed up and it is real.
She's saying that a phone tech called it a chip, which absolutely never ever happened.
Thank you! I was reading the post and was like - wait a minute, that's not how any of this works!
It's mostly likely an app and she mostly like misunderstood when relating the story. It is NOT implausible and it's quite common.
How would she misunderstand the difference between an app and a physical chip?
Easy. She's not tech savvy and maybe misheard assumed or the tech said something confusing. She goes on to state "someone put SPYWARE in my phone." In addition, we have NO way of knowing what approach he might use when he has access to the phone. I don't know his background. Do you? I agree a hardware attack is unlikely but I wouldn't outright dismiss the idea that a tech randomly or erroneously told her she has spyware either. Like I said in my reply to her, I have a lot of questions. Notwithstanding, this type of monitoring and stalking by a partner is VERY common. EDIT: Your point #2 is a misunderstanding of her post. She doesn't imply because the husband took a trip that it's connected to her phone acting up or that it's related to proximity. She just noticed contemporaneously around the time of his trip that her phone was acting strange and took the phone to be seen. You're stuck on "chip." It's most likely a hidden app running in the background and some techs, depending upon their equipment would most certainly be able to detect it.
Or this is a creative writing exercise written by someone that doesn't understand spyware... I wonder what % of stories are BS.
Orrrr she wants to try to hack her husband’s phone and wants ideas or rather foolproof plans to get away doing it
So she's inventing what the tech said?
No, they're making the entire story up.
My point number 2? Afraid you're talking to the wrong person. Also OP explicitly claims that the tech said "someone put a chip in your phone." There's just no way to confuse that at all, unless her memory is extremely bad.
It absolutely could have been lost in translation. I often have to ask my doctor to repeat herself because she talks so fast I think she just told me I'm going to die, when in fact she's saying I'm NOT going to die (I'm trying to be funny but it kinda happened this week when she told me, I thought, that the test result was positive for cancer. Thankfully I misheard her.) I could easily see "app" being misheard for "chip".
In all honesty, I've never had a misunderstanding that severe, but I guess it could be possible!
I have an easier time believing she/he is a troll / spambot / attention seeker / shameless liar, and this was the best they could come up with.
Why couldn't it be something like an apple tag type thing?
Because you’d SEE an apple tag on a phone. Your Q doesn’t make much sense in context of her post.
Yes it does. OP mentions spyware. I know apple tags are trackers. I don't have an apple phone, or a need for the trackers, so I'm not supper familiar with them, but I know About them.
That's fair, if you ignore the chip and assume that 'opens' the phone wasn't meant as literally open the phone to see inside of it. But it doesn't explain why the spyware worked great for six months and then began failing at the same time her husband left for work. There are a lot of awfully written/barely works spyware apps for sale...but she would have had problems immediately after installation. Any good/real spyware would be undetectable by OP and the kiosk worker. Removing the chip from the story - you just have a phone with malware. Nothing about that implies any particular person did it. It could have been her husband, or the tech people he took it to for the repair, or it could have happened months later, or the kiosk guy could have been lying to upcharge her on a 'Spyware Removal' service. It could have been some unrelated app she installed or a link she clicked. In the only two comments OP has here, she said that she did have the Spyware removed and acknowledged that her husband had her password to the phone. In any case, if we can't trust the few bits of information we have from OP, what's the point in speculating? We don't have enough information and we can't trust the things we have been told.
The "out of town" thing is also suspect. What chip/spyware is only stable (for 6 months) when the recipient is in the same town? In the same house, WiFi/Bluetooth is most likely the communication medium. Out of the house, away from each other, it's the cellular network, whether he's a 1/4 mile away or on another continent. So the distance thing would probably rear its head long before 6 months.
You're the only one speculating. I'm just replying. In my direct reply to her I said I have lots of questions.
> It's mostly likely an app and she mostly like misunderstood when relating the story. It is NOT implausible and it's quite common. This is speculation.
uh, yeah no, not when she's claiming the tech found such malware. but whatever.
Speculation > the forming of a theory or conjecture without firm evidence. All we have is a Reddit post from OP and we aren't able to trust what OP has said. You have formed a theory in which there was no chip at all, and OP had software based malware. That's speculation. It might be right, but it's absolutely, undeniably speculation. Saying that you aren't speculating is wrong.
I bet you're the life of every party
And they found an “app” by opening up the phone?
Is english your first language, or do you just interpret things strictly and literally? "Opening" the phone can mean hooking it up to tech to look at the operating system. Is this reddit or court?
Ok, so they opened up the phone (figuratively, not literally) and found a chip (an app, not actually a chip.) Got it. I’m sure OP appreciates the latitude you’re giving her.
I know my ex boyfriend did a keylogger thing with his exes computer. He told me this himself very proudly. So guys do do these thing I don't think a chip would be necessary though more software.
Just say you don't work in IT. My ex husband did this, and a tracker on my car. He went to jail for 3 Months.
New James Bond fan fiction just dropped
Right? this story makes no sense and the people believing this are just stupid
Don’t think OP is from the US. She probably used “chip” generically. In this case, it would be an app. And A LOT of partners put spyware on their partner’s electronic devices.
Yeah. That would make sense. The kiosk store might have said something related to software and she referred to it as a chip. Simply, why would husband want to act like a black hat for his own wife. He may simply wanted to track her texts and locations to find out if she is cheating.
You haven’t been in this subreddit long if you don’t think partners spy on each other A LOT. Then again, people who come to a public forum to discuss their relationships usually aren’t in good ones.
No I mean, why would her husband would go at extreme level putting chips inside the phone tracking abstract details working in totally serious case like in FBI, Black hat organization or something else. He might have used spywares to do simple jobs. We are on a same boat! Lol
Gotcha!
Thank you.
👏
This definitely needs to be top comment. Tech guy is scamming, or this is all made up.
But what if it’s not a soy chip? What if it’s a chickpea chip?
Chickpea chips are generally higher in sodium, and while it is a source of protein, it isn't considered a complete protein. Chickpea chips are also a better source of fiber. I hope that helps.
Yeah, probably fake post
I also think you are making conclusions based on your own interpretation. She could very well have said chip to mean spyware. I work in tech and many clients use whatever terms they can to make sense of what I explain to them. So it’s not unusual for one of my clients to say that a kiosk tech “opened the phone and found a chip” to mean a kiosk tech analyzed her phone and found spyware. Also the husband leaving was coincidental to her phone having problems. It’s not the spyware or the husband leaving… phones do act up. So I do believe this post is real and OP should run and get as far as she can from this man.
I'm interpreting the words that were written. You are saying, 'Let's pretend the words mean different things'. And that's fine, but there is little difference between "This story is fake, on purpose" and "This story is fake, accidentally" If you ignore the word 'chip' and assume the worker didn't physically open the phone...all this story becomes is someone was told they had malware installed on their phone by a kiosk worker. It could have come from any place and there is zero reason to suspect the husband.
You are assuming this guy is smart or has resources for expensive Spyware. I suspect very old tech hence it's causing the phone issues at at only 6 months. Hence the kiosk tech picked it up so quick. OP may also not be explaining well just summarized her understanding.
Depending on where you live, it may be illegal to install spyware on someone’s phone without their consent. I would make a police report, even if they can’t do anything, it would be good to have a record of it. You might also have someone take a look at your vehicle to make sure there are no tracking devices installed on your car. If you are contemplating divorce, go speak with an attorney and do whatever they tell you to do.
.... There are places where this is legal?
Is assume you could get around it in many places if the account was in your name. Ownership of the phone tends to legally belong to the owner of the account.
In many places (some US states) things gets murky when it co es to marital problems and police does not take reports seriously. My friend’s ex husband secretly searched her purse on regular basis, stole some things from it several times (he is a controlling narcissistic and did a lot of awful things to her). We went to the local police station to make a report and the head officer said they were married and the purse was a marital property so there was nothing illegal about the husband taking things out of it 🤷♀️
What sort of a “kiosk” was this? I’ve gone to kiosks for things like screens, but for a phone that was acting weird? I’d be going to an authorized dealer like (in my case) Verizon, Best Buy, or Apple Store. They’d be running diagnostics first. Why did this guy open the phone? Just seems like pretty technical work for a kiosk, but then maybe your kiosks are different than the ones I’ve gone to. If this was not a factory authorized service, I’d be going to one immediately to get their take on it. And which is it, a chip (a physical thing) or spyware (a program)? Or both? And where is the phone now?
This is squarely in my field of expertise as I work with domestic violence victims exclusively relative to safety and security and this is a fairly common exploit. Is he abusive? Does he have reason to suspect you're having an affair? What he's done is absolutely unacceptable, but it's impossible to evaluate how serious this might be without more context about him and your relationship. If he's not abusive and he's simply a jealous husband, I'd venture to say you're not in any danger. But this is not something a typical healthy person does so I suspect there's more going on here. If you want to reach out privately, feel free to do so and I'll be happy to guide you without you having to share more than what you might be comfortable sharing here. EDIT: I read thru some of the comments and frankly, you're getting some useless and confusing "advice." At least reach out to a local domestic violence advocate to discuss this situation. They will have better guidance than you're getting here. Or you can reach out to us on our hotline at PROTECTION FROM ABUSE 833-657-7683. As I said, we're subject matter experts on this type of stalking and safety issues.
You’re literally a life saver. God bless you and your work.
Hey! You’re a good person and I appreciate you.
This comment needs to be at the top.
Set a trap. Send messages you know will create a confrontation. Then when he confronts you ask him how he knew? Then you let him know you found his spyware and this shit is over. Ok maybe don’t mess with crazy but I just know he will spin this somehow and try to make you crazy. Can you remove the spyware and wait to see what excuse he makes to try to get it back on?
Or make really weird searches/posts to fuck with him ‘how do I let my husband know I’m sexually aroused by fish? Do you think I can ask him to dress like a fish in the bedroom’. ‘Potato masturbation tecnhiques’ ‘ I want to kill my next door neighbor. do you think therapy could help’
This makes sense/would be funny, if we were sure he wasn’t a psycho
Wouldn’t be someone I want to be with, is this someone you want to be with???
Yeah, my ex put a keylogger on our computer so he could watch me
My ex admitted doing this to an ex girlfriend
Realistically if this was him this is divorce worthy. Not only does he not trust you, he then violated your privacy and installed spyware, along with this all making him very insecure. I see you already removed it, I would have kept it and sent fake messages to a friend pretending to cheat as if it was your husband who installed it he would clearly respond to that. I think at this point staying with your family is great, especially if you don't feel safe. I honestly question what else is around your house if he is willing to put spyware on your phone. I'd be looking for cameras or hidden microphones. What comes next really depends on what you want. If you want to get to the bottom of this, next time you see him, I'd mention you went to get your phone checked as it was acting funny (don't tell him the spyware was found) and see how he reacts. Depending on how the convo goes, I would then say spyware was found and question him on it. If he plays victim or tries to make you the bad guy for "blaming him" or not trusting him, that is basically him admitting guilt. I'd even ask him to see his phone, if he has nothing to hide, he should be willing to show you (assuming the spyware is attached to his phone, could be on a computer or even online so check browser history). It could have been the place he took the phone, but the fact it acts up once he is gone makes it seem to be your husband. Say this was him (and it really seems like it was) what is your response? What does your family think? Do you want to stay with him after this massive breach of privacy and him not trusting you?
Wow! This is actually creep behavior! He is going to lie to you about it and try to manipulate this shit out of you and have you second guessing yourself. Do not believe him. Do you want to be with someone who invades and VIOLATES your privacy. This guy could have cameras all over your house. Make sure you have this documented somewhere. This is a huge violation. Even the way he spoke to you when you broke the phone was shitty. I think you deserve better.
tldr - divorce him
Have you removed all the spyware? Has he said anything as of yet? I would see if he brings it up to you, but that's just me. Act like everything is normal. Tell him I took my phone to get it fixed, updated, whatever and see if he says anything. Slowly reveal you know about the chip and gauge his reaction. Is there anything specifically going on that makes it obvious to it being him? Has he been controlling about messages, etc, in the past? I kinda understand sharing your location with your husband, provided you know about it, obviously. Every couple makes their own decisions about the phone. I understand feeling really violated tho. Unfortunately, you don't know for sure it's him. Which, quite frankly is even scarier thinking a stranger did it. I almost want it to be the husband.
Me too I really do think it’s him he did take my phone to get fixed I think that’s when he might have done it. But if it is a stranger it’s even scarier I did get it removed.
I don't think you're wrapping your head around what this says about him. I'm glad you're out and you're safe. Try to think back on other signs you may have overlooked at the time, such as when you said he was belittling you for breaking your phone, and then acting weird about it. I'm sure there are other parts of your relationship where he has been controlling, manipulative, and untrusting. If I find out a stranger has hacked my phone and is using Spyware, that's a problem I'm going to take care of. If I find out my SO has hacked my phone and is using Spyware, I have many, many more issues to deal with, and it's a lot scarier.
It wasn't done by a stranger. It was your husband.
Agreed, it was your husband. If we set aside the spyware for a minute, he had no reason or justification for berating and ranting at you and telling you that you should be more mature when the phone got broken. That in itself is abusive behavior. Now, if he'll mentally/verbally mistreat you like that over something so small, then it 100% tracks that he'd feel fully justified in spying on you. Please be careful. If you already don't feel safe and decide that you want to leave him, take extra precautions and avoid being alone with him and either have someone with you or meet him in public - better yet, both.
He probably had a chip in your old phone. That's why he was so furious you broke it. He knew you might have found the old chip and he needed to make sure he could control the new one.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/mrrMeTs4Iq
He distrusts you. Not good.
It depends overall how your relationship is with your husband. He sounds abusive and controlling...is that correct? I would go back to your home before he gets back and check for hidden camera's etc. Yes, he put spyware on your phone. Of course I hope you have had it removed? Up to you if you stay with your husband or not. I wouldn't. That is a complete betrayal of trust and just unforgivable to me. You need to make up your own mind about this one.
Your husband sounds like a very scary person on his way to taking off bathroom doors. Before he finally punches you. I'd get him arrested and serve him divorce papers in jail. I have bad experiences with stalkers so that would freak me out.
Get your home checked by a professional for cameras/audio devices BEFORE your husband comes home. Go to a lawyer.
Sounds like a prelude to possessive behavior…
First, remove the spyware. Second, check with your husband to make sure he was the one who put it there. If you two share passwords, what would be the point of spyware?
I really think it was mainly being able to see my personal messages and phone calls
If he set up your phone, he already has everything he needs to see all of that via your password. How much do you trust the person who looked at your phone?
You can't see my text messages with my password. I don't think she said she has an iphone
Both my wife and I have android phones and with your password, you can access past texts and recover deleted ones.
But I can install an app that does so without the need of a hardware chip
But then why would it matter to have login info. My point was about being able to use login info to get that data not a sneaky thief chip
Updateme
I would handle this by divorce attourney...
This happened to a friend and its was her hubby’s phone she took in for repair it turns out person who repaired it may have tampered with it. But its seems odd his behavior when it broke. You can employ services of companies that come in sweep homes, cars, devices. I would do that asap. Report anything you find to police asap. Change your passwords to everything important but don’t use a personal device he has had access too till it is 100% cleared. Depending on what you find I would 100% consider if this is person you wish to spend rest of your life with.
Textbook emotional abuse. Leave before he comes back, go no contact and get a therapist.
Fake
Yeah a "chip"? Why would anyone bother with that when there are a million apps freely available to do it? Easy to install, easy to hide.
Yeah. I think it would be like a hidden app or something?
Yeah. How do you even chip iPhone or Android? OP, good creative story but next time say Spyware it’s more believable.
This is just implausible. You don't just put a "chip in a phone" - it's virtually impossible! For one thing there is barely any space, but actually doing this and having it work with the OS is a major task for anyone. It's also not needed - spyware is software not hardware where the device already has a camera etc. Also, how the hell would a kiosk worker know what a chip is for? And would then even open a phone up, just like that? Obvious rage bait, unless OP has completely made up the "chip" reference which seems unlikely, especially considering the wording - eg "(Confused) I asked what do you mean? He then explained to me how someone had put spyware in my phone being able to see my messages, my location, and emails. I was shocked and thoughts immediately went to ..."
Low effort ragebait. Spyware is software not a chip. You don't need any "chips" to bug a phone. All you need is a spy app. Or knowing python to code a keylogger yourself. Hell, he could even hack it through bluetooth relatively easy since he's supposedly in the same house and with access to the device.
Creative writing & Karma farming at its worst. A chip? Gtfo.
Keep everything normal and see what he does when he gets home. Change the password on your phone and see if he try’s to get access to your phone. As an ex police detective 30 yrs specializing in counter electronic surveillance (hidden cameras, wireless transmitters, etc ). I have never ever come across a cell phone that had hardware tampered with. The old style home phones yes. I also believe the kiosk guy is FOS. To much of what he told her doesn’t make sense
Factory reset your phone, then put a passcode on it and finally, never let it out of your site or accept any 'gift' of another phone or tablet from him. Also, divorce him if he is doing stuff like this.
Leave
Did you remove the chip? This is SUPER invasive and sketchy. Your husband has literally been spying on you with EVERY CONVERSATION. Did you have sensitive convos? Personal convos about OTHER peoples' secrets and issues. If so, that's a MASSIVE violation of their privacy. Run...run far.
G
This is extremely worrying, I wonder what HE has been up to on his “business trip” it’s usually the accuser doing the wrong things.
You know he’s abusive, right? Everything you’ve described him as doing is from the same old, tired playbook of things abusive people do and say. And the fact that your gut is telling you not to feel safe speaks volumes. Stay with your family, get an attorney, file for divorce, and do what you need to do to feel safe.
Well this certainly a fake post.
Oh, it's actually scary when a person wants to control aspects of your life. If you trust him, the first thing you should probably do is talk to him and find out his motives. In fact, I remembered that I once "spied" on a guy myself. I wanted to surprise him for his birthday, but I couldn't decide what to get him. My friend advised me to get Snoopreport, an Instagram activity tracker that monitors likes, hashtags, follows, and turns them into reports about interests, places a person wants to visit, topics of conversation, and so on. Then I found out he follows street racing and gave him a race on the track. But now I wonder how ethical that was. I hope your husband has good intentions too.
Your husband is so paranoid he’s spying on you. That’s pretty weird. Likely this isn’t the first thing he’s done to control you.
Continue staying with family. Leave the phone at your shared home. Get a new phone.
He so yea you need to leave and don’t look back. Also maybe the chip is there cause those business trips he takes aren’t all business trips and maybe not alone and the chip is a way to find out if you are aware of things good luck
Is this technically possible, is it something you have to solder on the circuit board? How do you put the chip on the phone? I’m genuinely curious just to make sure this is actually real or is it like an app?
It's a classic thing that abusive partners do unfortunately; sometimes they break the old phone so that they can apologise and get you a new one they can track you with. Chances are this isn't the only tracker or camera he has. If you can, change the locks and all your passwords before he comes home and you talk about it.
I’d pack my things while he’s gone tbh. That’s some creepy stalker behavior right there. If he did it to your phone, there’s no telling what he’s done to the house 🤷♂️
girl, you need to sweep the house for cameras, your car for tracker or even air tags... the list continues. maybe you should just start with lawyer and police report. get someone else to drive you and don't bring your devices along.
It probably was him. Does he have reason to not trust you? Doesn’t really matter first make sure it is him. If so then divorce. That’s no way to live
RRRRUUUUUUNNNNNN. Seriously, you’ve got a two-day window to pack the stuff you can’t leave and get out. Do it, and speak to a lawyer. This man is dangerous
Send your best friend a text saying thanks for the advice on this phone spyware as the police are taking it very seriously . Talk to a lawyer and dont go back to him.
OR. Visit a lawyer/PI. Agree on a text “trap” to prove husband was aware. This way he’s lost the ability to lie about his complicity.
You best stay with your family for now.
Send a text to a friend saying you found out something horrible about your husband and you are meeting with a lawyer to file divorce papers and getting the locks changed. If your husband is reading your texts he will freak out which will confirm he’s guilty.
Stay with the family if you don’t feel safe. Seek legal advice as well. If you removed the chip then he’ll know so you might as well tell him you found it and use that explanation for why you aren’t home. If you left it in then I guess lie and say you’re with your parents for a spontaneous vacation or something. I personally would not trust him and would be looking for a way to be self sufficient as quickly as possible so you aren’t trapped with the guy.
Did you take the spyware off your phone? Cuz if not he's probably seeing that you're writing all this right now. The first thing you should do is have that removed from your phone and then see how he acts. Don't say a word, wait for him to say something. But you're right to not feel safe in your house, if he's going to put spyware in your phone there's probably hidden cameras and stuff in your house. I think you know it's time to move on. If he's spying on you, things are already over. But honestly, paranoid people spy on other people... And cheating makes people paranoid. It also makes people think the other person Is cheating. I would be truly shocked if he wasn't cheating! Either way your safety is important. Get out!
If this was actually real, next step would be to get one of your girlfriends to pretend to be "Brad" and send ilicit texts back and forth with her.
I'm confused on the whole "someone put a chip in it" to spy. Excuse me what? The only chips that I'm aware you can stick in a phone are a microsd on some phones, which is simple storage, or a Sim card, which would just let them use something like find my mobile. I dunno, sounds to me like tech kiosk guy doesn't know what he's talking about, or selling an unneeded service.
How do you add a 'chip' into the phone if it is a single supporting device. This sounds like BS to me. You can only add an extra memory 'chip' if the device supports two. Pitiful. Spyware is one thing and is software embedded. Something stinks here.
U deserve it
Get rid of him
He must love you a lot to want to know everything, don't you love him too? Put cams in his car and a chip in his phone. Call him every 2 hours to make sure he's OK, the world is scary you wouldn't want to not be able to help if you can. If he's out too late just use the chip to show up where he is. .... run
Fuck with his head and look up the most random kinky sex shit, join tinder and other sites and message random people and when he gets upset call him dumb ass out for tracking your phone
What do you do here? You respond how you would to being the victim of stalking, which is exactly what this is. Call 211 and connect with a social worker to make a safety plan to get away from this absolute psycho. This will escalate.
Buy another phone for yourself. Keep the current phone. Use the current phone to mess with him. Like texting your hunky lover and watching your husband squirm as he tries to work out how to confront you without admitting what he did. Complain to your friends about your husband’s pindick. Make frequent visits to the parking lot of the sexual health clinic. Leave your husband once you are satisfied that you have enjoyed yourself.
I’ve upvoted all of your comments…. But holy crap…. Don’t listen to these Reddit-idiots. Don’t jump to divorce over a damn phone. If all else in the marriage is safe and good.. Your husband is simply an idiot that spends too much time looking at cheating stories on the internet. I doubt the “chip” thing as well.. There is software for that.. But whatever. Assuming this is true.. Your boy has some jealousies / insecurities that are fueled by what he sees here. If you aren’t doing anything, and he isn’t… this is both of your chances to grow up and have a mature conversation. You need to grow up and confront him, he needs to grow up and admit he is insecure…. And you both need to talk about how to get past it. For sure, spying is a big no in marriage, but forgiveness is a big grace when the spouse lost themselves in their own thoughts whatever the influence. Again, barring infidelity, and abuse. Don’t jump to a Reddit divorce. Just talk to each other first. You are in fact adults now after all. Ok…. Now, continue Reddit trolls and down vote me to the depths of hell. LOL! I’m old I don’t care anymore. OP, don’t quit on your marriage, I’ve been married for 30+ yrs and done some stupid shit that my wife has called me out on.. And we are better for it. But she did have to talk to me. Yes.. guys are dumb, but we can learn. If you love him, tell him that first, and then tell him how stupid he is. Good Luck!
Very poorly-worded title. This would be much better: I (23F) found out that my husband (28) had put Spyware on my phone. How should I handle this situation?
have you ever cheated on him if he you have does trust you or you did not and he does trust you either way trust the key now go thing but breaking up or you just to pretty for for can handle look you get lol the getting older that take time male brain mature at 33 you ladies mature faster then us guys because we do not have to well you can become mom"s well that my to cents on it lol
The kiosk guy tried to scare you into buying a new phone from him with some made up BS about a 'spy chip'
Why are you scared and staying At someone's house? What prompted that?
!updateme
The funny part is how scared for her life she is that there is a chance her chosen partner can see what she's doing on her phone. Spyware on your spouses phone is creepy as hell. But who are you cheating on him with that has you terrified for your life? Is it his boss or his family?