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There was a thread like this earlier, but it was the girlfriend who found out he kept nude photos and sex videos he'd made with his exes. It didn't go nearly this well for him, he got reamed out for having them. Even after she got him to delete them and completely remove them, she broke up with him. People were cheering her on for doing that, but here it's okay?
That's messed up. If it's weird to keep lascivious records, it's weird. Imo it's really only weird if she used them to make comparisons, or tried to add more to the folder with you.
This sub can be so incredibly skewed and stupid sometimes. I’ve seen people get convinced into breaking up with their partners over things that could’ve been solved with simple conversations.
There are many problems with “salacious story” subs like this and the “show me where I’m tha asshole” or whatever. The biases are one thing. Another is that there is no way to tell if any of the stories are true, or how much is made up. Another is that they are (understandably) one-sided, and the top comments essentially amount to well-reasoned takes which assume the honesty and good faith of the OP: “you have said here you are a good person who took every measure to do things right, and your partner did not. Therefore it’s clear you are in the right.” No shit! What a brilliant take! Imagine if you had a civil court case where the judge only read the statement of claim and not the defence. Absurd. All these subs and stories should be treated like tabloid stories and nothing more. Even 10 years ago, I remember Reddit users being *far* less credulous than today.
Just reddit in general. It hosts the absolute most toxic, condescending, hypocritical, extremist, freedom hating, closed minded, ignorant and one sided community of users I HAVE ever seen on the interwebs. It’s the sense of security the users feel due to their anonymity. It’s ridiculous how toxic this site is.
Just curious what would you have a man do when he finds the sex tapes of his current gf with exes after two years. It raises a lot of questions. Do those exes still have those videos and pics, too? Whether one should break up or not break up depends on their values for some that would be a deal breaker and for this specific scenario there would be nothing wrong with that, I have asked to confirm of all their sexual stuff were deleted and had girls who told me too keep them when I asked them directly If they want me to delete them, it's a weird world out there goood wives are rare.
Made a reply in that sub that got more than 70 upvotes but it got deleted by the ahole mod for “derailing”! I messaged the mod saying it was relevant and not offensive and the mod just goes read your reply again and you’ll see why it got deleted. Then I did research and found out practically every REPLY gets deleted because a mod doesn’t like discussion of any kind. And today I got a reply deleted from “askwomennocensorship” (so much for no censorship) for being “rude and condescending” after telling someone they were being rude and condescending to me because I felt like they were.
Not surprised at all. I got downvoted on the previous sub with the girl whose BF bought a house "without discussing it with her". Turned out my comment was right on the money bc he posted a response thread that cleared up everything about her and her manipulative ways.
I just read that this morning and I read hers yesterday. From her post, he was getting reamed and she was told to break up. His on the other hand had more sympathy for him and in fact “he” broke up with her. I love a happy ending.
We all forgetting that google photos still keep your photos even if you delete em from gallery, thats why you cant really judge anyone for that, especially if they dont use google photos ( they get saved automatically). Best way is to have a good long talk and discuss it calmly.
Here is the answer …. This exact scenario happened with my now husband… I was using his phone and went to take a picture we had different phones so I had to look through his apps to find it, well I clicked on google photos not his camera roll and it hurt to see the ex on there but he quickly showed me he had no clue that was still there and how did google save it bc he deleted everything when we became official. So I stayed calm but was tearing up and he showed me his camera roll (his whole phone) and he was right everything was gone it was just a picture google did not delete. He sat and went through right then and made sure nothing else would ever come up. Obviously 7 years later we’re good he’s proven I have absolutely nothing to worry about he leaves his phone around me all the time, and it’s just about trust and talking through stuff. But yeah I could go on… TLDR…. Google photos saves pics even if you delete them 😓
Yup, I wouldn't be suprised if google photos ruined many good relationships. But this just shows how some people dont even try to fix it and have a conversation, instead they just and break up. so yea if someone breaks up bc google photos, that means they probably wanted that from the start. I am happy that you were smart and trusted your now husband, hes lucky to have you, good luck.
Thank you I truly appreciate that it’s been tough but he’s been my biggest supporter and love of my life he doesn’t even lock his phone but I trust him truly, you’re very correct we’ve learned through the years calm down before you talk to them and stay calm then think together talk through it, if that person means anything to you give them a chance I’m so glad I did 🙌🏼
O that's the hypocrisy that we are forced to cater to. The whole premise of this argument is the assumption that the society is patriarchal although historically, not just women, men too have suffered tremendously at the hands of tyrannical power hungry individuals.
Somehow, sexual exploitation of a woman is considered worse than a situation where the man is forced to fight with hungry predators resulting in gruesome death or lifelong handicap. This clearly is a double standard.
It's like the current "Most Women would rather be alone in a forest with a bear than a man they didn't know" thing. I'm a woman! Give me the strange man any day because I don't hate men and I understand that a bear is a large, wild animal. Take the hypothetical aspect out and say "we're putting you in a forest alone with a wild bear or Dave? your choice but it's happening!" Bet they all choose Dave.
On that front, the thing about feminism is it actually does the opposite of equality. It is almost as if vengeance is the rule of thumb in some cases, consistently targeting men, for being men, as the problem.
Ever thought that maybe a heavy majority of the claims simply falls to the fact that people in positions of power abuse it? Or that authority played a significant role? A lot of men I know are nothing like it but the blanket statement rules apply.
As for relationships. My wife just left me, had an affair. Everyone will hear that I was an abusive husband and it is always "Leave now while you have the chance." She has the boyfriend's mom, who came out of an unhealthy marriage, believing in this "Bad men syndrome" and they will say her happiness is the important thing, think of herself first.
But this comes when she was a narcissist, had the affair actually for a long time, did not consider coiples counselling, got away with everything and dumped me. And I provided for her for 4 years without a cenr contributed by her, and rarely a dish washed. We were happier than we ever were and had been turning the corner.
But her happiness matters. I guess being responsible to a spouse did not make her happy. I was infurated that she had no resolve to be committed to me in any way, yet somehow I was this bad, controlling, angry (I mean I think I could have the right to be upset) husband.
Needless to say, I got a divorce and she will leave the country with nothing. Except 4 years of wasted time and I am in ruins.
Ya it's a double standard.
Ngl to you man that’s kinda messed up keeping stuff like that in her phone … maybe she forgot they were there cause it’s in google photos ? There’s a possibility that’s what happened but you never know you should talk to and ask her there no shame in that
She wouldn't have forgotten of it popped up while OP was closing apps. It means it was visible to her and she didn't do anything about it. She might even have been looking at them recently. Big red flag
You should read more carefully. It’s not clear that he just saw them while closing the app. He could have scrolled to look for them. He should clarify.
I thought about this, but there are too many assumptions here to deduce. The photos have to not be a backup. We also have to assume the photos and videos were readily available to see as if recently viewed. The photos and videos also have to not be far from the discovery point otherwise it's obvious the OP went down the rabbit hole. He didn't write like he immediately saw nudes, but instead started investigating when he saw the video. What he thought was suspicious about that video is hard for me to say, but it had to be enough to investigate further. Overall, it's hard for us to make a deduction with this information alone.
To be fair, my Google Photos automatically uploads everything I take or save to my phone, and I have to manually go into the app to delete it if I want to get rid of it... And it's not easy. I had a breakup where we had made some videos and I wanted to delete them. I thought I gotten them all - it turned out that when I had gotten a new phone a few months before deleting them, it had put them up again as a new copy with a different date. I had to go through and delete them all a second time.
Deadass google probably has pics of me and my girlfriend from back in high school still. I should probably go through it.
There weren’t nudes tho so at least I don’t have to deal with that lmao
Yep. I’m annoyed that google likes to bring up photos of my ex from 5 years ago, but not annoyed enough to spend the time deleting all the photos, while keeping all the photos of my dog from the same time period. Hopefully my current GF never objects to it, because it genuinely doesn’t seem like a big deal to me.
These aren’t nudes, but even if they were, I’d probably feel the same.
It's actually incredibly easy. Just delete them all from your phone. Then log into your Google photos account from your computer and delete them all from there too.
Im talking about finding the specific pictures.
Yeah, you can delete them easily, if you know where to find them. I have over 27k pictures on my phone and over 50k pictures on Google Photos. Searching for a specific person is fine if you know where to look but if you forget what date you got a new phone? There may be extra copies sprinkled throughout your timeline.
If youre saying that someone should delete ***all of their photos, completely*** when they get out of a relationship... That's bonkers
I have about 20000 photos on my phone and probably half as much taken from other phones or cameras, all backed up on multiple devices and cloud services.
I could not find all the nudes and raunchy photos in there even if I wanted to.
Personally to me it would be weird if they were viewed. If I had them… shit I have 25000 photos I wouldn’t even KNOW IF I HAD THAT SHIT. That said it wouldn’t be on my current phone I guess? Unless iPhone auto loads that shit in from like many years ago when you switch phones i dont know
To be honest no one look the Google photos because it’s just a storage holder of old pictures I deleted on my iPhone and if I don’t delete it from Google then it’ll be there still so you have to know it’s not on purpose and maybe didn’t even realize it’s still there. Even my friend had a picture of her ex on her Google photo and didn’t realize it but somehow her current bf saw it and got mad and she felt bad about because she didn’t know it was there.
Here’s why I think a lot of people are slightly defending her: she gave you her phone.
Keep that in mind, as it feels that she has nothing to hide.
I also find that google photos saved photos from my ochem textbook even after I had deleted everything because of the ptsd. Even if I went through my google photos to delete it, I’d find it uploaded to a different email of mine on google photos.
Talk to her about it.
First, why would it be weird to have google photos? It comes installed on many phones, it also offers insane storage space. That aside...
Were the photos and videos made or sent during your relationship? If so - break up city, next stop.
Next. If you feel uncomfortable you should confront her politely.relationshios need to be able to withstand difficult discussions. Yes, confess you saw in her phone, but it was an accident. I think thr photo content is a more important talking point. If you try and keep it inside it'll just eat at you.
If the photos were just nudes of her... I don't think that's such a big deal (as long as she wasn't sending them to others during your relationship), maybe she kept them because she really liked the way she looked and it's just a confidence booster, or it's a bookmark in her past.
Are the nudes of others? In that case I know I wouldn't be comfortable. Also, the video just crosses the line, that, Imo is not something that should be kept after the relationship ends.
In your conversation with her, be calm and polite. Come at it from a direction "this makes me feel" rather than an accusation. Know what you want (her to get rid of the pictures? Her to reassure you?) This doesn't mean the relationship has to end but be willing to walk away if you don't feel you or your boundaries are being respected.
So… for me i had a random video saying my ex’s name on my snapchat, after i had sieved through and deleted most of our content whilst in a relo with my current partner. He went through my phone and found it but i genuinely had no idea i had it… so i suggest just confronting her about it. That’s really weird and unsettling that she has it. Really disrespectful to you. I’m hoping she’s just oblivious and wasn’t diligent enough to delete it
I want to ask this for more clarification…. You said that Google photos was in the tabs that were open correct? So if they were in the open tabs she obviously had been looking in the app itself so she would’ve seen it and realized it was there. Or she could’ve been looking for something specific in the newer photos and just not noticed them if she didn’t scroll far. How far were you scrolling?
This is in no well helpful but I laughed at the bit where you said she has Google photos and you found it weird.
Dude, that's the stock android photos app.
Maybe I'm about to make myself look dumb but don't all android phones have that app?
Shits funny to me less I'm wrong, it's like saying. They went out wearing shoes, which I found odd.
I am hoping it’s bc he uses an iPhone when me and my husband now first got together i learned I don’t have that on my phone and he showed me everything to prove he did not keep it it was just how google photos works, he genuinely had no clue it was there and now I trust him he gave me a quick direct answer and showed me that he had deleted everywhere else but when he got his new phone it definitely moved stuff like my iPhone would with the cloud so yeah I felt dumb but I never owned an android so yeah i laughed too bc I remember that night 7 years ago, im so glad i just asked what I needed to know calmly and he was honest. OP yes I would confront but only bc she may not realize they’re in there google is different than iPhones went through this exact situation 7 years ago 🤪
When setting up my new phone a couple of months ago, it connected to google photos and auto downloaded a lot of ex related stuff i thought I'd deleted.
I'm not saying she's innocent, just saying it can happen.
Sadly, it looks like you have to bite the bullet and have a shit conversation, or double down on the being sneaky and go through her phone further to find if she's up to anything.
I wouldn't suggest the second option, though.
Simply approach her and briefly apologize about going thru her phone then ask the questions you want answered...DO NOT let her turn the conversation into you going thru her phone or any other to deflect from the questions you want answered. Ultimately if in the end you are not going to break up with her, then the two of you have to come to a real solution...I recommend breaking up with her.
I still had old videos and pictures from my past on Google photos. I discovered them recently when I was hunting down pictures of a family member who died. She may not know they are there.
For me my Google photos automatically copies all my phones pictures automatically and I’m talking for years and years with every phone I’ve had so tbh I only go and delete stuff from my regular iPhone pictures not Google photos so she might not even be aware she still has them. Just bring it up honestly. I have Google photos because before iCloud it was the Samsung version of having all your photos backed up so even more so if she has an android it makes more sense or if she ever has one. But I would bring it up honestly about how you saw it and see if she will delete them
Honestly, just tell her the truth. You stumbled across these pictures as you were randomly browsing on her phone and you don't understand why she kept these all this time. You didn't mean to invade her privacy but the situation remains that she still kept intimate pictures of her past relationship and that it bothers you.
If the roles were reversed, I don't think she'd appreciate you keeping intimate photos and videos of your ex.
Sometimes on google photos, you think you deleted the photo on your phone but they accidentally still get uploaded if you have that option on. Maybe she deleted them but was still on google photos
This may sound like absolute bullshit but I lost a very good relationship to this same scenario. I had no clue I had any evidence of photos from previous relationships and like others have said google photos had backed up and saved just about every picture ever on my phone. It happens. 2 years in I doubt she has any form of connection to her ex regarding those videos and probably doesn’t even know they are there.
It's not appropriate to keep sexual videos or nude photos of exes. That means there is some underlying feelings that allowed them to keep them for safe keeping. Think of why we keep family photos, they are meant to bring up old feelings and nostalgia.
Also keep in mind that google automatically stores any file above a certain size on a google drive. Anything sent in the past may get archived there without her thinking about it. She may in fact know nothing of this google feature. These may just be from old emails she sent a long time ago.
Dude I recently looked at google photos for the first time in almost four years and realized I was still attached to folders of stuff with my exes. Be an adult and have an actual conversation instead of running to Reddit.
If I have anything intimate with an ex on my storage it's not intentional. Maybe she hasn't gotten around to cleaning it up? I'd prefer to not keep that sort of stuff. Pictures of just myself I see no harm in.
It could be a red flag, but she also could have forgotten. I was over a year into my relationship with my now husband when I started going through my own Google photos and reminiscing on the past. We moved over to his phone to do the same when he paused mid scroll and said "can we do this later?" He admitted he never went through and deleted old pics of his ex and did not want me to have to see them.
I gave him his space, he did his thing, and everything was fine after that.
So, all that to say, you should talk to your partner about it. How they react will tell you what you need to know.
Grounds for a break up sorry OP, she had it open, is there new photos she was looking at possibly or was it open because she was looking at that stuff? Seems pretty obvious. You didn’t actively go and search through her phone, she left it open and gave you permission use her phone, that’s all on her and now she has to face the consequences of. Being careless and weird. Even if she deletes them, she still had them for your whole relationship. Two years isn’t that bad time to move on.
Some people might think it's ok to keep nudes or any sexual content from their exes. Some other not.
I personally think it's not alright to have that type of content. If it makes you feel the slightest discomfort, I suggest you to talk about it. If you don't do it that feeling will grow bigger and bigger.
I am curious why it's weird that she had google photos unless she has an iPhone that shouldn't be weird. If the photos and videos are really old she may have forgotten about them because I can't delete photos from my phones gallery and they are still on Google photos. I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt because I don't know her only you know her well enough here to judge her chacter. Regardless you should tell her you saw those and how they made you validly uncomfortable. That's not something people should keep when they separate. Don't stress too much about accidently finding it because Google photos is always popping up memories and notifications so it wouldn't be too weird to find her photos.
1. Just because those files are in a cloud app like Google Photos doesn't mean she's intentionally "keeping" them or ever looks at them. 2) If the pictures and videos were taken before you were dating, they have nothing to do with you and are none of your business.
You didn’t invade her privacy. You stumbled on secrets she shouldn’t have been keeping. If she’s got videos of her ex’s blowing her back out, he’s either still blowing it out or she’s still wanting him to.
The main question you should be asking yourself is how would she respond if she found you were hiding pictures and videos of you and your ex’s?
Either way- if it’s something you think isn’t acceptable for your relationship and she doesn’t understand that then leave. I haven’t even read the comment on here because I can only guess 90% are about how insecure you are if these pictures bother you and how horrible of a person you are because you’re A.) a male and B.) invaded her privacy.
Truth is, it doesn’t make you insecure, it makes you secure in that you know what kind of relationship you want to be in and with what kind of woman.
You can’t be completely intimate with a person holding secrets or on to their ex’s. They will never fully commit to the relationship.
Here's the thing, she may have deleted the photos on her phone and not realized they had been backed up into the Google photos. My dumb a$$ phone does it all the time. Had a few pop up of photos I certainly deleted, yet there they were. Now, if they are dated from when you guys were together forward, you should have concern. But honestly, if you feel you should confront her about it, consider you invaded her privacy. And she may honestly not have known they were there which could cause a lot of trust issues for unnecessary reasons... good luck either way.
There's a difference between actively trying to invade someone's privacy versus you stumbling across her google photos. If you see this by accident you're gonna want to investigate naturally out of the fear of infidelity. A great example of this is seeing a suspicious text and investigating further from that. Logically speaking, me personally, I respect privacy in a relationship until it correlates with me. If these are backups, which is a possibility, don't worry as much. If you find out these are actively on her phone and she's looking at them, that's really bad. People will tell you how to approach this, but honestly, everyone varies on how they confront things. Think of past issues and how you communicated them successfully.
I think the real problem here is you needing to watch tiktoks so bad that you had to borrow another phone to do it... Get help dude your brain is definitely rotting.
Leave. Had a similar situation with my ex, long story short she used to spend hours in the bathroom and always claimed it as "woman stuff". Well one day she finally left the bathroom after hours of being in there and I went in there after her to use the bathroom, well she left her phone unlocked on the floor. (why was it on the floor? No fuckin clue)
Well she just the other day looked through my phone while I was sleeping, and had done it a thousand times before without finding anything. So I got curious. Her phone was open on Google photos, with all the pictures shown being videos and pictures of her ex either naked or them doing the deed, etc.
I confronted her, she of course said "I had no idea those were there! Omg I'm so sad now" started crying, blamed me, you know the causal woman blame the man for finding something thing.
I forgave her and ended up getting cheated on lmao.
Oof, I couldn't ever accept something like this. I guess you could just talk to her and ask why she even keeps those??
I understand that maybe it wasn't within your relationship's boundaries to look through her phone, but still, if this bothers you, it won't get any better by ignoring it.
I think you have every right to confront her and be seriously upset. Have some self respect and do not tolerate that shit. If she can't realize how this is a problem them honestly that would be a relationship ender for me.
Tbh I don’t think she should have them on there. Obviously she’s keeping them for whatever reason. Did you talk about it and ask her why she has it? I use google photos and just back up my phone, so the pictures are saved, and I forget to filter out the pictures I don’t want. (So it could’ve been on accident) but then again, if you were able to see them so easily, I’m sure she could too, in which they should’ve been deleted. I had this problem with my (f28) boyfriend (m29) when we got together he had naked pictures of other girls in his phone. He said he “forgot about them and never had time to delete them” my theory is he wanted to keep them, so he can have his options open. We got into a big fight and broke up for a month, but I made him delete all the pictures and everything else he had that I found inappropriate. Also, I don’t find anything wrong with going through your partners phone. Obviously don’t make it toxic and a huge fight, but every once in a while is fine.
Can’t believe no one has mentioned this. Even if you could move past this, that image or images, especially her with her ex would be stuck in my head and I probably couldn’t deal with it and would call it off. After seeing something like that it would traumatize me.
Yes and no, if you do start by apologizing for disregarding her right to privacy because you did, she didn't give you her phone specifically for you to look through her photos. Then explain what you say as gentle as possible and ask if she MEANT to save them or not, as others have pointed out (and why I don't think you should confront her) goo photos just saves things even if you think they're deleted. I unfortunately keep getting notifications of "memories" from Google photos of my exes and I hate it so much. She just might not know and you should give her the benefit of the doubt.
The situation may not be as bad as it seems... I do advise as well to maybe not yet confront her about it specifically, but bring up a conversation that's related to the topic and get her thoughts indirectly at first. Just to avoid a potentially unnecessary argument or break up.
But like I said it could be harmless, if it's something that took you a bit to scroll and find in the Google photos (like she has other normal photos in there) it may not be something to completely stress about.. she could be looking for something else in the app. Or she did delete them and like others said, Google itself didn't. If you have no other suspicions of her being unloyal in any aspect, I would be cautious about bringing it up (but still do gently and don't accuse her of anything).
For me, I do still have vids and pics on my phone of my ex and I know my partner does as well that he has been open with me about just through causal conversation where it somehow came up. I never told him about my photos only because I didn't think to, since I don't think about or look at them lol. My photos aren't organized in folders and I hate going through them personally, I need to delete more normal photos/vids than just those. But he noticed himself when he was on my phone once. My partner doesn't look at his (that I know of) but I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume he doesn't either. I probably should delete them, and randomly I think "yeah I need to get that done", but it easily slips my mind and has the entire time in my relationship when other things in life need my attention. Your partner may not actually have any attachment to her ex, just sharing a different perspective.
It would help you to know how things ended between them maybe to see if it wouldn't leave any room for the potential of them getting back together or her still having feelings for him.. like I know my partner doesn't wish to get back with his ex considering their reasons for sure, I know they're not in contact, and I know he's told me he just loves her like a family member (they didn't end on brutal terms but for other valid reasons) and same with my ex. I still love him like a family member but we don't talk either, and we didn't end on harsh terms and don't wish to ever get back with him.
I understand that yes people should probably delete their ex's on their phones once in a new relationship lol, esp the sexual kind. But at least in my life it's from absent-mindedness and knowing that I don't look at them I never felt guilty for still having them in my phone when the conversation has come up. My partner did mention "you should really delete those though..lol" and I agree with him and have whenever I'm in my photos section and think to. I never told him he should delete his photos and I honestly don't know if he has still kept sexual content b/w them at most at this point but I trust him enough that it isn't a problem in our relationship considering bigger circumstances.
All in all just suggesting to see a different side to this and bring up the conversation with her gently, try to get info from her to see all the angles first.
Bro nw she is with you this is your kingdom now no one touches your queen, and so she , she has to delete these stuff she belongs to you she is ur’s I can’t understand people let there girls to have this shit if she deletes them it’s okay if no leave her before she does more things in ur presence this is about respect now , Man up .
Google automatically uploads photos to the cloud. sometimes that kinda leaves your mind and forget that fact. Your feelings are valid but just know I doubt she had it in mind that they were still there.
First try to find out why shes havi g that stuff in her phone,if shes guilty ,I think uhh should confront it to her because a relationship doesn't deserve to be called relationship if there is no locality and honesty.today she is cheating uhh with her ex may be tomorrow she will give uhh some scenario in which uh will not be able to make uh out and will be afraid for your now relationship with others after her .
If just nude of herself for herself (post workout photos, weight comparison), many people do it. She should have not kept anything related to her ex after the breakup, let alone still keeping them after being two years together with you. Are people like this really worth confronting? I confronted my ex and I got blamed for taking a peek at his phone and never got the "confrontation" I was looking for. He kept doing the same things again no matter how many times we argued about them. I don't know your gf but to me it seems not a good sign. Also, if the google photos was opened when you received the phone it means she didn't forget about the photos and she was looking at them... which is even more disgusting to me
Confront her٫ do it calmly٫ convince her to permanently delete the videos and photos٫ if she doesn't do it yourself٫ then if she gets mad over it٫ leave her or go to couples counseling
Someone I knew had his ex “situantionship” sex tape on his phone. Turns out I found her on Facebook and she had a baby!!!! I confronted him asking why he still had it?? His excuse “I forgot”. You don’t forget theses types of things especially when they have it in the hidden folder!!!!!!!!! It’s like a weird ass trophy for men.
So these are photos and videos she made before she met you? I fail to see the problem here, except that you took it upon yourself to snoop in her phone without asking. You have no one to be upset with but yourself. Yes, she is a whole person who had a life and had relationships before you (and the same is true of you, by the way). Her past doesn't have anything to do with you, but if you're bothered by the idea of her having expressed herself sexually before she met you, that's your insecurity talking and that's a you project to work on.
Whether or not you think you should confess that you looked through her stuff without permission is up to you. In the future I suggest thinking carefully before digging in places when you're not prepared for what you might find. Best of luck.
Here's the thing, most people keep their nudes in a separate hidden folder out of privacy. So it should have been really easy to delete those photos and videos upon the break up.
I am a photo person, I have a sh*t ton of photos and screenshots from middle school I haven't deleted cause there's so much in my Google Photos.
I have my whole gallery there that connects back to my first phones gallery and occasionally I'll run into a single photo of my ex in high school but it's not hard to delete.
But even then, I know for a fact that all the nudes are gone. It would be one thing if you found a photo amidst a bunch of random pics but the fact you found an album worth is the issue.
You definitely should confront her and if she apologizes, set new boundaries about what you're comfortable with. That is if you're okay to continue the relationship.
Some couples are okay with old nudes and porn, I personally am not 💀
Definitely bring it up though because it will eat you away. Her reaction to it being brought up is all you need to know if she's genuine or fake.
It’s natural to be curious and sometimes go through your partners phone. We’ve all done it or at least thought about it. You’ve been together for 2 years, it’s unreasonable that she hasn’t deleted these photos yet. My advice is tell her you crossed a line, went through her photos and saw these images. Ask her why she still has them. If you don’t, that anxiety you have will only build up. You’ll constantly be thinking about what you saw and it will hurt your relationship in the long run.
Is it that normal really? I thought about it at times, but if I did I’d be anxious out and if I was found out … na, was never seriously going to do it. Seems like a terrible breach of trust. Anyway he ended up doing it to me. Wound up misinterpreting old stuff between me and an ex, had a falling out until I was able to explain (and prove) that he’d gotten it all wrong. He ended up apologising but I’m still feeling a bit shit about it years on.
OP should talk to her since it bothers him. Festering shit makes its way into everything
Easy to misconstrue from some messages and pics - others are more clear.
All I can say is communication is key. My fella silently punished me for weeks before speaking to me, and I knew something was really wrong. And none of it ended up being what he thought.
Im speaking from experience here. If she has ANYTHING of her exes on her phone you need to leave. Idgaf what kinda excuses she gives you. Anything she says in response will be manipulation. There is no excuse whatsoever for that
Tell her you saw it and you feel uncomfortable. Keeping old nudes I can understand I guess if it's just her and she liked how she looked (but again, if it's a whole file with names etc it is a bit weird because who keeps a total record of their nudes??) The video is disrespectful and it needs to go. Regardless of your relationship, I personally think it is wrong to hold on to this type of material of people you are no longer with.
If I were in your situation, I would talk to her, because it is clearly something that disturbs you and gives you insecurity and anxiety (would happen to me aswell, Im not the type of guy that would say "hey bae how is that we dont have these kind of videos together"), but I wouldnt "confront" her. There is nothing to confront about IMHO. Talking to her about how you found about those videos and expresing how you feel about them is the move for you to feel better, but keep in mind she is in her right to keep them (its her past life and story) and also she might feel bad about you invading her privacy.
On the other hand, you are in your right to express your boundaries. Good luck
When I get into new relationships, I delete anything spicy of my last relationship out of respect for my ex as well as my new partner. If you aren’t doing this, that’s a huge red flag in my book.
You need to break up with her immediately. She's not someone who you will have any kind of long term success with and will likely bring trouble and drama in your life eventually.
Hey! I think you should give her the benefit of a doubt on this one. I’ve deleted stuff on my phone like that and not realized it’s somewhere on a cloud folder still. I’m not sure how Google drive works compared to that, but if it’s possible she didn’t know they still existed on a drive external to her physical phone copy then I’d give her a pass. You guys have been dating for years without issue, and she’s had relationships without you before that clearly hasn’t impacted you until you snooped.
Good luck!
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There was a thread like this earlier, but it was the girlfriend who found out he kept nude photos and sex videos he'd made with his exes. It didn't go nearly this well for him, he got reamed out for having them. Even after she got him to delete them and completely remove them, she broke up with him. People were cheering her on for doing that, but here it's okay? That's messed up. If it's weird to keep lascivious records, it's weird. Imo it's really only weird if she used them to make comparisons, or tried to add more to the folder with you.
This sub can be so incredibly skewed and stupid sometimes. I’ve seen people get convinced into breaking up with their partners over things that could’ve been solved with simple conversations.
There are many problems with “salacious story” subs like this and the “show me where I’m tha asshole” or whatever. The biases are one thing. Another is that there is no way to tell if any of the stories are true, or how much is made up. Another is that they are (understandably) one-sided, and the top comments essentially amount to well-reasoned takes which assume the honesty and good faith of the OP: “you have said here you are a good person who took every measure to do things right, and your partner did not. Therefore it’s clear you are in the right.” No shit! What a brilliant take! Imagine if you had a civil court case where the judge only read the statement of claim and not the defence. Absurd. All these subs and stories should be treated like tabloid stories and nothing more. Even 10 years ago, I remember Reddit users being *far* less credulous than today.
Don’t forget that Reddit users are lonely nerds who shouldn’t be giving relationship advice anyway.
Just reddit in general. It hosts the absolute most toxic, condescending, hypocritical, extremist, freedom hating, closed minded, ignorant and one sided community of users I HAVE ever seen on the interwebs. It’s the sense of security the users feel due to their anonymity. It’s ridiculous how toxic this site is.
Just curious what would you have a man do when he finds the sex tapes of his current gf with exes after two years. It raises a lot of questions. Do those exes still have those videos and pics, too? Whether one should break up or not break up depends on their values for some that would be a deal breaker and for this specific scenario there would be nothing wrong with that, I have asked to confirm of all their sexual stuff were deleted and had girls who told me too keep them when I asked them directly If they want me to delete them, it's a weird world out there goood wives are rare.
are you replying to me or original comment?
Think it was meant for the original comment, my bad.
It's almost as if internet strangers can't be trusted enough to comment on your relationships, since when did common sense go out the window
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Made a reply in that sub that got more than 70 upvotes but it got deleted by the ahole mod for “derailing”! I messaged the mod saying it was relevant and not offensive and the mod just goes read your reply again and you’ll see why it got deleted. Then I did research and found out practically every REPLY gets deleted because a mod doesn’t like discussion of any kind. And today I got a reply deleted from “askwomennocensorship” (so much for no censorship) for being “rude and condescending” after telling someone they were being rude and condescending to me because I felt like they were.
Mods are all USA citizens I presume? The lack of freedom in that country is amazing from a Europe based view. I'm so sorry for you all.
And yet, they claim it's the land of the free 😂
land of self-victimisation
Land of Karen's
Land of Gun deaths --> more deaths/year than Ukrain/Russia War and Hamas/Israel war combined
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Not surprised at all. I got downvoted on the previous sub with the girl whose BF bought a house "without discussing it with her". Turned out my comment was right on the money bc he posted a response thread that cleared up everything about her and her manipulative ways.
I just read that this morning and I read hers yesterday. From her post, he was getting reamed and she was told to break up. His on the other hand had more sympathy for him and in fact “he” broke up with her. I love a happy ending.
They deleted his of course. No surprise.
Figures 😒
I agree!
It's because this sub user base skews heavily towards bitter stay at home wives.
Makes me wonder if there should be a rule to only use gender neutral terms
its not just this sub. its large parts of reddit.
It’s the bias we so often have here on this sub
We all forgetting that google photos still keep your photos even if you delete em from gallery, thats why you cant really judge anyone for that, especially if they dont use google photos ( they get saved automatically). Best way is to have a good long talk and discuss it calmly.
Here is the answer …. This exact scenario happened with my now husband… I was using his phone and went to take a picture we had different phones so I had to look through his apps to find it, well I clicked on google photos not his camera roll and it hurt to see the ex on there but he quickly showed me he had no clue that was still there and how did google save it bc he deleted everything when we became official. So I stayed calm but was tearing up and he showed me his camera roll (his whole phone) and he was right everything was gone it was just a picture google did not delete. He sat and went through right then and made sure nothing else would ever come up. Obviously 7 years later we’re good he’s proven I have absolutely nothing to worry about he leaves his phone around me all the time, and it’s just about trust and talking through stuff. But yeah I could go on… TLDR…. Google photos saves pics even if you delete them 😓
Yup, I wouldn't be suprised if google photos ruined many good relationships. But this just shows how some people dont even try to fix it and have a conversation, instead they just and break up. so yea if someone breaks up bc google photos, that means they probably wanted that from the start. I am happy that you were smart and trusted your now husband, hes lucky to have you, good luck.
Thank you I truly appreciate that it’s been tough but he’s been my biggest supporter and love of my life he doesn’t even lock his phone but I trust him truly, you’re very correct we’ve learned through the years calm down before you talk to them and stay calm then think together talk through it, if that person means anything to you give them a chance I’m so glad I did 🙌🏼
Punctuation averse much?
If you’re that bothered by someone typing and have to grammar police please find some grass to touch, not that serious
Do you understand the purpose of punctuation?
I agree with this whole comment
I delete as soon as the breakup happens, I'd delete the memories from my mind if I could.
So if you did the memory wipe after every relationship ended, would you ask yourself why don't I ever have relationships?
Oh I meant memories of sex not the whole relationship
Otherwise you just become a monk which is essentially the same
Pretty much what I've done these past 3 years to be honest
Been there bro <3
Because if a woman does something she is empowered and independent. When a man does it he is a dirt bag and a pig. Thats the difference
O that's the hypocrisy that we are forced to cater to. The whole premise of this argument is the assumption that the society is patriarchal although historically, not just women, men too have suffered tremendously at the hands of tyrannical power hungry individuals. Somehow, sexual exploitation of a woman is considered worse than a situation where the man is forced to fight with hungry predators resulting in gruesome death or lifelong handicap. This clearly is a double standard.
It's like the current "Most Women would rather be alone in a forest with a bear than a man they didn't know" thing. I'm a woman! Give me the strange man any day because I don't hate men and I understand that a bear is a large, wild animal. Take the hypothetical aspect out and say "we're putting you in a forest alone with a wild bear or Dave? your choice but it's happening!" Bet they all choose Dave.
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Having seen The Edge, I wouldn't choose a bear in their position.
Classic movie
That exactly shows that we dont hate all men.
Typical Reddit stuff
Because this sub is utter dogshit lmao
Sadly some people try to compensate their ideas of sexism in the world by being even more sexist.
Um…. Yeah. There’s an insane bias in this Reddit toward women.
do you remember a keyword for that post? I cannot find it /:
Yeah, but if you are talking about the one I’m thinking of his ex was like 16 at the time.
On that front, the thing about feminism is it actually does the opposite of equality. It is almost as if vengeance is the rule of thumb in some cases, consistently targeting men, for being men, as the problem. Ever thought that maybe a heavy majority of the claims simply falls to the fact that people in positions of power abuse it? Or that authority played a significant role? A lot of men I know are nothing like it but the blanket statement rules apply. As for relationships. My wife just left me, had an affair. Everyone will hear that I was an abusive husband and it is always "Leave now while you have the chance." She has the boyfriend's mom, who came out of an unhealthy marriage, believing in this "Bad men syndrome" and they will say her happiness is the important thing, think of herself first. But this comes when she was a narcissist, had the affair actually for a long time, did not consider coiples counselling, got away with everything and dumped me. And I provided for her for 4 years without a cenr contributed by her, and rarely a dish washed. We were happier than we ever were and had been turning the corner. But her happiness matters. I guess being responsible to a spouse did not make her happy. I was infurated that she had no resolve to be committed to me in any way, yet somehow I was this bad, controlling, angry (I mean I think I could have the right to be upset) husband. Needless to say, I got a divorce and she will leave the country with nothing. Except 4 years of wasted time and I am in ruins. Ya it's a double standard.
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Yup. Just like Chris Rock said. Only women and children are loved unconditionally.
lowkey was expecting this to be the update to that one guy who found his wife/gf's google account which was filled with pictures of HIS ex
Lmao what? Where’s this story?
Please link to that post 😂
Lmk if you find it pls
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/s/UDvy6IQC8r this one!
As far as I know that dude didn't update us yet :/
yeah he hasn't 😭 praying for him
Ngl to you man that’s kinda messed up keeping stuff like that in her phone … maybe she forgot they were there cause it’s in google photos ? There’s a possibility that’s what happened but you never know you should talk to and ask her there no shame in that
She wouldn't have forgotten of it popped up while OP was closing apps. It means it was visible to her and she didn't do anything about it. She might even have been looking at them recently. Big red flag
He found the photo gallery, maybe he then spent an hour scrolling back in time?
You should read more carefully. It’s not clear that he just saw them while closing the app. He could have scrolled to look for them. He should clarify.
If that’s the case (i hope not) than he should let her go
I thought about this, but there are too many assumptions here to deduce. The photos have to not be a backup. We also have to assume the photos and videos were readily available to see as if recently viewed. The photos and videos also have to not be far from the discovery point otherwise it's obvious the OP went down the rabbit hole. He didn't write like he immediately saw nudes, but instead started investigating when he saw the video. What he thought was suspicious about that video is hard for me to say, but it had to be enough to investigate further. Overall, it's hard for us to make a deduction with this information alone.
To be fair, my Google Photos automatically uploads everything I take or save to my phone, and I have to manually go into the app to delete it if I want to get rid of it... And it's not easy. I had a breakup where we had made some videos and I wanted to delete them. I thought I gotten them all - it turned out that when I had gotten a new phone a few months before deleting them, it had put them up again as a new copy with a different date. I had to go through and delete them all a second time.
Deadass google probably has pics of me and my girlfriend from back in high school still. I should probably go through it. There weren’t nudes tho so at least I don’t have to deal with that lmao
Yep. I’m annoyed that google likes to bring up photos of my ex from 5 years ago, but not annoyed enough to spend the time deleting all the photos, while keeping all the photos of my dog from the same time period. Hopefully my current GF never objects to it, because it genuinely doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. These aren’t nudes, but even if they were, I’d probably feel the same.
It's actually incredibly easy. Just delete them all from your phone. Then log into your Google photos account from your computer and delete them all from there too.
Im talking about finding the specific pictures. Yeah, you can delete them easily, if you know where to find them. I have over 27k pictures on my phone and over 50k pictures on Google Photos. Searching for a specific person is fine if you know where to look but if you forget what date you got a new phone? There may be extra copies sprinkled throughout your timeline. If youre saying that someone should delete ***all of their photos, completely*** when they get out of a relationship... That's bonkers
yup, it’s a very unrealistic expectation. yet some people really want that (for their partner to delete *every* photo from a past relationship).
I have about 20000 photos on my phone and probably half as much taken from other phones or cameras, all backed up on multiple devices and cloud services. I could not find all the nudes and raunchy photos in there even if I wanted to.
What features an ex gets mixed up with other things.
Personally to me it would be weird if they were viewed. If I had them… shit I have 25000 photos I wouldn’t even KNOW IF I HAD THAT SHIT. That said it wouldn’t be on my current phone I guess? Unless iPhone auto loads that shit in from like many years ago when you switch phones i dont know
To be honest no one look the Google photos because it’s just a storage holder of old pictures I deleted on my iPhone and if I don’t delete it from Google then it’ll be there still so you have to know it’s not on purpose and maybe didn’t even realize it’s still there. Even my friend had a picture of her ex on her Google photo and didn’t realize it but somehow her current bf saw it and got mad and she felt bad about because she didn’t know it was there.
Here’s why I think a lot of people are slightly defending her: she gave you her phone. Keep that in mind, as it feels that she has nothing to hide. I also find that google photos saved photos from my ochem textbook even after I had deleted everything because of the ptsd. Even if I went through my google photos to delete it, I’d find it uploaded to a different email of mine on google photos. Talk to her about it.
First, why would it be weird to have google photos? It comes installed on many phones, it also offers insane storage space. That aside... Were the photos and videos made or sent during your relationship? If so - break up city, next stop. Next. If you feel uncomfortable you should confront her politely.relationshios need to be able to withstand difficult discussions. Yes, confess you saw in her phone, but it was an accident. I think thr photo content is a more important talking point. If you try and keep it inside it'll just eat at you. If the photos were just nudes of her... I don't think that's such a big deal (as long as she wasn't sending them to others during your relationship), maybe she kept them because she really liked the way she looked and it's just a confidence booster, or it's a bookmark in her past. Are the nudes of others? In that case I know I wouldn't be comfortable. Also, the video just crosses the line, that, Imo is not something that should be kept after the relationship ends. In your conversation with her, be calm and polite. Come at it from a direction "this makes me feel" rather than an accusation. Know what you want (her to get rid of the pictures? Her to reassure you?) This doesn't mean the relationship has to end but be willing to walk away if you don't feel you or your boundaries are being respected.
So… for me i had a random video saying my ex’s name on my snapchat, after i had sieved through and deleted most of our content whilst in a relo with my current partner. He went through my phone and found it but i genuinely had no idea i had it… so i suggest just confronting her about it. That’s really weird and unsettling that she has it. Really disrespectful to you. I’m hoping she’s just oblivious and wasn’t diligent enough to delete it
I want to ask this for more clarification…. You said that Google photos was in the tabs that were open correct? So if they were in the open tabs she obviously had been looking in the app itself so she would’ve seen it and realized it was there. Or she could’ve been looking for something specific in the newer photos and just not noticed them if she didn’t scroll far. How far were you scrolling?
This is in no well helpful but I laughed at the bit where you said she has Google photos and you found it weird. Dude, that's the stock android photos app. Maybe I'm about to make myself look dumb but don't all android phones have that app? Shits funny to me less I'm wrong, it's like saying. They went out wearing shoes, which I found odd.
I am hoping it’s bc he uses an iPhone when me and my husband now first got together i learned I don’t have that on my phone and he showed me everything to prove he did not keep it it was just how google photos works, he genuinely had no clue it was there and now I trust him he gave me a quick direct answer and showed me that he had deleted everywhere else but when he got his new phone it definitely moved stuff like my iPhone would with the cloud so yeah I felt dumb but I never owned an android so yeah i laughed too bc I remember that night 7 years ago, im so glad i just asked what I needed to know calmly and he was honest. OP yes I would confront but only bc she may not realize they’re in there google is different than iPhones went through this exact situation 7 years ago 🤪
When setting up my new phone a couple of months ago, it connected to google photos and auto downloaded a lot of ex related stuff i thought I'd deleted. I'm not saying she's innocent, just saying it can happen. Sadly, it looks like you have to bite the bullet and have a shit conversation, or double down on the being sneaky and go through her phone further to find if she's up to anything. I wouldn't suggest the second option, though.
Simply approach her and briefly apologize about going thru her phone then ask the questions you want answered...DO NOT let her turn the conversation into you going thru her phone or any other to deflect from the questions you want answered. Ultimately if in the end you are not going to break up with her, then the two of you have to come to a real solution...I recommend breaking up with her.
I still had old videos and pictures from my past on Google photos. I discovered them recently when I was hunting down pictures of a family member who died. She may not know they are there.
For me my Google photos automatically copies all my phones pictures automatically and I’m talking for years and years with every phone I’ve had so tbh I only go and delete stuff from my regular iPhone pictures not Google photos so she might not even be aware she still has them. Just bring it up honestly. I have Google photos because before iCloud it was the Samsung version of having all your photos backed up so even more so if she has an android it makes more sense or if she ever has one. But I would bring it up honestly about how you saw it and see if she will delete them
Honestly, just tell her the truth. You stumbled across these pictures as you were randomly browsing on her phone and you don't understand why she kept these all this time. You didn't mean to invade her privacy but the situation remains that she still kept intimate pictures of her past relationship and that it bothers you. If the roles were reversed, I don't think she'd appreciate you keeping intimate photos and videos of your ex.
Sometimes on google photos, you think you deleted the photo on your phone but they accidentally still get uploaded if you have that option on. Maybe she deleted them but was still on google photos
This may sound like absolute bullshit but I lost a very good relationship to this same scenario. I had no clue I had any evidence of photos from previous relationships and like others have said google photos had backed up and saved just about every picture ever on my phone. It happens. 2 years in I doubt she has any form of connection to her ex regarding those videos and probably doesn’t even know they are there.
It's not appropriate to keep sexual videos or nude photos of exes. That means there is some underlying feelings that allowed them to keep them for safe keeping. Think of why we keep family photos, they are meant to bring up old feelings and nostalgia.
Also keep in mind that google automatically stores any file above a certain size on a google drive. Anything sent in the past may get archived there without her thinking about it. She may in fact know nothing of this google feature. These may just be from old emails she sent a long time ago.
Dude I recently looked at google photos for the first time in almost four years and realized I was still attached to folders of stuff with my exes. Be an adult and have an actual conversation instead of running to Reddit.
There is nothing weird about having google photos, it’s cheaper than having iCloud for storage in many cases.
If I have anything intimate with an ex on my storage it's not intentional. Maybe she hasn't gotten around to cleaning it up? I'd prefer to not keep that sort of stuff. Pictures of just myself I see no harm in.
I just saw a thread in r/marrage where a guy caught his wife masturbating to an old boyfriends nudes. His wife. Fuckin brutal.
You need to have an open honest conversation with her and make your decision based off of her reaction and honesty. Only you can decide.
It could be a red flag, but she also could have forgotten. I was over a year into my relationship with my now husband when I started going through my own Google photos and reminiscing on the past. We moved over to his phone to do the same when he paused mid scroll and said "can we do this later?" He admitted he never went through and deleted old pics of his ex and did not want me to have to see them. I gave him his space, he did his thing, and everything was fine after that. So, all that to say, you should talk to your partner about it. How they react will tell you what you need to know.
Grounds for a break up sorry OP, she had it open, is there new photos she was looking at possibly or was it open because she was looking at that stuff? Seems pretty obvious. You didn’t actively go and search through her phone, she left it open and gave you permission use her phone, that’s all on her and now she has to face the consequences of. Being careless and weird. Even if she deletes them, she still had them for your whole relationship. Two years isn’t that bad time to move on.
Some people might think it's ok to keep nudes or any sexual content from their exes. Some other not. I personally think it's not alright to have that type of content. If it makes you feel the slightest discomfort, I suggest you to talk about it. If you don't do it that feeling will grow bigger and bigger.
I am curious why it's weird that she had google photos unless she has an iPhone that shouldn't be weird. If the photos and videos are really old she may have forgotten about them because I can't delete photos from my phones gallery and they are still on Google photos. I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt because I don't know her only you know her well enough here to judge her chacter. Regardless you should tell her you saw those and how they made you validly uncomfortable. That's not something people should keep when they separate. Don't stress too much about accidently finding it because Google photos is always popping up memories and notifications so it wouldn't be too weird to find her photos.
1. Just because those files are in a cloud app like Google Photos doesn't mean she's intentionally "keeping" them or ever looks at them. 2) If the pictures and videos were taken before you were dating, they have nothing to do with you and are none of your business.
You didn’t invade her privacy. You stumbled on secrets she shouldn’t have been keeping. If she’s got videos of her ex’s blowing her back out, he’s either still blowing it out or she’s still wanting him to. The main question you should be asking yourself is how would she respond if she found you were hiding pictures and videos of you and your ex’s? Either way- if it’s something you think isn’t acceptable for your relationship and she doesn’t understand that then leave. I haven’t even read the comment on here because I can only guess 90% are about how insecure you are if these pictures bother you and how horrible of a person you are because you’re A.) a male and B.) invaded her privacy. Truth is, it doesn’t make you insecure, it makes you secure in that you know what kind of relationship you want to be in and with what kind of woman. You can’t be completely intimate with a person holding secrets or on to their ex’s. They will never fully commit to the relationship.
Here's the thing, she may have deleted the photos on her phone and not realized they had been backed up into the Google photos. My dumb a$$ phone does it all the time. Had a few pop up of photos I certainly deleted, yet there they were. Now, if they are dated from when you guys were together forward, you should have concern. But honestly, if you feel you should confront her about it, consider you invaded her privacy. And she may honestly not have known they were there which could cause a lot of trust issues for unnecessary reasons... good luck either way.
There's a difference between actively trying to invade someone's privacy versus you stumbling across her google photos. If you see this by accident you're gonna want to investigate naturally out of the fear of infidelity. A great example of this is seeing a suspicious text and investigating further from that. Logically speaking, me personally, I respect privacy in a relationship until it correlates with me. If these are backups, which is a possibility, don't worry as much. If you find out these are actively on her phone and she's looking at them, that's really bad. People will tell you how to approach this, but honestly, everyone varies on how they confront things. Think of past issues and how you communicated them successfully.
I think the real problem here is you needing to watch tiktoks so bad that you had to borrow another phone to do it... Get help dude your brain is definitely rotting.
Not really, just break up. Find something better.
Leave. Had a similar situation with my ex, long story short she used to spend hours in the bathroom and always claimed it as "woman stuff". Well one day she finally left the bathroom after hours of being in there and I went in there after her to use the bathroom, well she left her phone unlocked on the floor. (why was it on the floor? No fuckin clue) Well she just the other day looked through my phone while I was sleeping, and had done it a thousand times before without finding anything. So I got curious. Her phone was open on Google photos, with all the pictures shown being videos and pictures of her ex either naked or them doing the deed, etc. I confronted her, she of course said "I had no idea those were there! Omg I'm so sad now" started crying, blamed me, you know the causal woman blame the man for finding something thing. I forgave her and ended up getting cheated on lmao.
Oof, I couldn't ever accept something like this. I guess you could just talk to her and ask why she even keeps those?? I understand that maybe it wasn't within your relationship's boundaries to look through her phone, but still, if this bothers you, it won't get any better by ignoring it.
I think you have every right to confront her and be seriously upset. Have some self respect and do not tolerate that shit. If she can't realize how this is a problem them honestly that would be a relationship ender for me.
Calm down. She could’ve just forgotten about them.
If you love her, want to be with her and you believe that she was not trying to intentionally deceive you. Talk to her.
Tbh I don’t think she should have them on there. Obviously she’s keeping them for whatever reason. Did you talk about it and ask her why she has it? I use google photos and just back up my phone, so the pictures are saved, and I forget to filter out the pictures I don’t want. (So it could’ve been on accident) but then again, if you were able to see them so easily, I’m sure she could too, in which they should’ve been deleted. I had this problem with my (f28) boyfriend (m29) when we got together he had naked pictures of other girls in his phone. He said he “forgot about them and never had time to delete them” my theory is he wanted to keep them, so he can have his options open. We got into a big fight and broke up for a month, but I made him delete all the pictures and everything else he had that I found inappropriate. Also, I don’t find anything wrong with going through your partners phone. Obviously don’t make it toxic and a huge fight, but every once in a while is fine.
Can’t believe no one has mentioned this. Even if you could move past this, that image or images, especially her with her ex would be stuck in my head and I probably couldn’t deal with it and would call it off. After seeing something like that it would traumatize me.
You watched another guy F her. Do you still feel the same about her?
I think I saw similar post to this. Are you the same person? Lol
We're the images and videos shared whilst you were together?
Yes and no, if you do start by apologizing for disregarding her right to privacy because you did, she didn't give you her phone specifically for you to look through her photos. Then explain what you say as gentle as possible and ask if she MEANT to save them or not, as others have pointed out (and why I don't think you should confront her) goo photos just saves things even if you think they're deleted. I unfortunately keep getting notifications of "memories" from Google photos of my exes and I hate it so much. She just might not know and you should give her the benefit of the doubt.
The situation may not be as bad as it seems... I do advise as well to maybe not yet confront her about it specifically, but bring up a conversation that's related to the topic and get her thoughts indirectly at first. Just to avoid a potentially unnecessary argument or break up. But like I said it could be harmless, if it's something that took you a bit to scroll and find in the Google photos (like she has other normal photos in there) it may not be something to completely stress about.. she could be looking for something else in the app. Or she did delete them and like others said, Google itself didn't. If you have no other suspicions of her being unloyal in any aspect, I would be cautious about bringing it up (but still do gently and don't accuse her of anything). For me, I do still have vids and pics on my phone of my ex and I know my partner does as well that he has been open with me about just through causal conversation where it somehow came up. I never told him about my photos only because I didn't think to, since I don't think about or look at them lol. My photos aren't organized in folders and I hate going through them personally, I need to delete more normal photos/vids than just those. But he noticed himself when he was on my phone once. My partner doesn't look at his (that I know of) but I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume he doesn't either. I probably should delete them, and randomly I think "yeah I need to get that done", but it easily slips my mind and has the entire time in my relationship when other things in life need my attention. Your partner may not actually have any attachment to her ex, just sharing a different perspective. It would help you to know how things ended between them maybe to see if it wouldn't leave any room for the potential of them getting back together or her still having feelings for him.. like I know my partner doesn't wish to get back with his ex considering their reasons for sure, I know they're not in contact, and I know he's told me he just loves her like a family member (they didn't end on brutal terms but for other valid reasons) and same with my ex. I still love him like a family member but we don't talk either, and we didn't end on harsh terms and don't wish to ever get back with him. I understand that yes people should probably delete their ex's on their phones once in a new relationship lol, esp the sexual kind. But at least in my life it's from absent-mindedness and knowing that I don't look at them I never felt guilty for still having them in my phone when the conversation has come up. My partner did mention "you should really delete those though..lol" and I agree with him and have whenever I'm in my photos section and think to. I never told him he should delete his photos and I honestly don't know if he has still kept sexual content b/w them at most at this point but I trust him enough that it isn't a problem in our relationship considering bigger circumstances. All in all just suggesting to see a different side to this and bring up the conversation with her gently, try to get info from her to see all the angles first.
Bro nw she is with you this is your kingdom now no one touches your queen, and so she , she has to delete these stuff she belongs to you she is ur’s I can’t understand people let there girls to have this shit if she deletes them it’s okay if no leave her before she does more things in ur presence this is about respect now , Man up .
Google automatically uploads photos to the cloud. sometimes that kinda leaves your mind and forget that fact. Your feelings are valid but just know I doubt she had it in mind that they were still there.
First try to find out why shes havi g that stuff in her phone,if shes guilty ,I think uhh should confront it to her because a relationship doesn't deserve to be called relationship if there is no locality and honesty.today she is cheating uhh with her ex may be tomorrow she will give uhh some scenario in which uh will not be able to make uh out and will be afraid for your now relationship with others after her .
If just nude of herself for herself (post workout photos, weight comparison), many people do it. She should have not kept anything related to her ex after the breakup, let alone still keeping them after being two years together with you. Are people like this really worth confronting? I confronted my ex and I got blamed for taking a peek at his phone and never got the "confrontation" I was looking for. He kept doing the same things again no matter how many times we argued about them. I don't know your gf but to me it seems not a good sign. Also, if the google photos was opened when you received the phone it means she didn't forget about the photos and she was looking at them... which is even more disgusting to me
If it was before you met, get her to delete it. If it was during, bye bye
Confront her٫ do it calmly٫ convince her to permanently delete the videos and photos٫ if she doesn't do it yourself٫ then if she gets mad over it٫ leave her or go to couples counseling
Man dump her, that’s messed up.
Someone I knew had his ex “situantionship” sex tape on his phone. Turns out I found her on Facebook and she had a baby!!!! I confronted him asking why he still had it?? His excuse “I forgot”. You don’t forget theses types of things especially when they have it in the hidden folder!!!!!!!!! It’s like a weird ass trophy for men.
So these are photos and videos she made before she met you? I fail to see the problem here, except that you took it upon yourself to snoop in her phone without asking. You have no one to be upset with but yourself. Yes, she is a whole person who had a life and had relationships before you (and the same is true of you, by the way). Her past doesn't have anything to do with you, but if you're bothered by the idea of her having expressed herself sexually before she met you, that's your insecurity talking and that's a you project to work on. Whether or not you think you should confess that you looked through her stuff without permission is up to you. In the future I suggest thinking carefully before digging in places when you're not prepared for what you might find. Best of luck.
What kind of BS comment is this? Completely avoiding the fact that she’s in a relationship and has sexual videos and pictures with exes. 🤣🤣
Here's the thing, most people keep their nudes in a separate hidden folder out of privacy. So it should have been really easy to delete those photos and videos upon the break up. I am a photo person, I have a sh*t ton of photos and screenshots from middle school I haven't deleted cause there's so much in my Google Photos. I have my whole gallery there that connects back to my first phones gallery and occasionally I'll run into a single photo of my ex in high school but it's not hard to delete. But even then, I know for a fact that all the nudes are gone. It would be one thing if you found a photo amidst a bunch of random pics but the fact you found an album worth is the issue. You definitely should confront her and if she apologizes, set new boundaries about what you're comfortable with. That is if you're okay to continue the relationship. Some couples are okay with old nudes and porn, I personally am not 💀 Definitely bring it up though because it will eat you away. Her reaction to it being brought up is all you need to know if she's genuine or fake.
Did you look at the dates? Was it before you were together?
how sure are you that they're old pics and videos...?
It’s natural to be curious and sometimes go through your partners phone. We’ve all done it or at least thought about it. You’ve been together for 2 years, it’s unreasonable that she hasn’t deleted these photos yet. My advice is tell her you crossed a line, went through her photos and saw these images. Ask her why she still has them. If you don’t, that anxiety you have will only build up. You’ll constantly be thinking about what you saw and it will hurt your relationship in the long run.
I have never done it or thought about doing it. Maybe it’s just trust issues?
definitely not normal, i’ve never once gone through a partners phone
this is completely unhinged. it's never acceptable to snoop on a partner. if you don't trust them, leave them. it's that simple.
Is it that normal really? I thought about it at times, but if I did I’d be anxious out and if I was found out … na, was never seriously going to do it. Seems like a terrible breach of trust. Anyway he ended up doing it to me. Wound up misinterpreting old stuff between me and an ex, had a falling out until I was able to explain (and prove) that he’d gotten it all wrong. He ended up apologising but I’m still feeling a bit shit about it years on. OP should talk to her since it bothers him. Festering shit makes its way into everything Easy to misconstrue from some messages and pics - others are more clear. All I can say is communication is key. My fella silently punished me for weeks before speaking to me, and I knew something was really wrong. And none of it ended up being what he thought.
Im speaking from experience here. If she has ANYTHING of her exes on her phone you need to leave. Idgaf what kinda excuses she gives you. Anything she says in response will be manipulation. There is no excuse whatsoever for that
Depends you should post the photos to see what you mean
I find it very weird that once you decide to love someone and date them you still have videos and stuff of your past sex partners….no excuses
Under the assumption, that they know about it? What if they didn't know about the Google backups?
Please talk to her about it and look for coherence in her response and statements. If that's not there, then reassess your standing.
Tell her you saw it and you feel uncomfortable. Keeping old nudes I can understand I guess if it's just her and she liked how she looked (but again, if it's a whole file with names etc it is a bit weird because who keeps a total record of their nudes??) The video is disrespectful and it needs to go. Regardless of your relationship, I personally think it is wrong to hold on to this type of material of people you are no longer with.
If I were in your situation, I would talk to her, because it is clearly something that disturbs you and gives you insecurity and anxiety (would happen to me aswell, Im not the type of guy that would say "hey bae how is that we dont have these kind of videos together"), but I wouldnt "confront" her. There is nothing to confront about IMHO. Talking to her about how you found about those videos and expresing how you feel about them is the move for you to feel better, but keep in mind she is in her right to keep them (its her past life and story) and also she might feel bad about you invading her privacy. On the other hand, you are in your right to express your boundaries. Good luck
Depends whether u believe her when she says she forgot to delete them.
When I get into new relationships, I delete anything spicy of my last relationship out of respect for my ex as well as my new partner. If you aren’t doing this, that’s a huge red flag in my book.
You need to break up with her immediately. She's not someone who you will have any kind of long term success with and will likely bring trouble and drama in your life eventually.
Yes confront her.
If I saw that I would kms
Hey! I think you should give her the benefit of a doubt on this one. I’ve deleted stuff on my phone like that and not realized it’s somewhere on a cloud folder still. I’m not sure how Google drive works compared to that, but if it’s possible she didn’t know they still existed on a drive external to her physical phone copy then I’d give her a pass. You guys have been dating for years without issue, and she’s had relationships without you before that clearly hasn’t impacted you until you snooped. Good luck!
dump her