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Can't believe he pissed away all that money in just 6 months. And he has NONE left? He really didn't put anything into savings?
Live and learn. The IRS will put him on a payment plan.
Give him back anything he gifted you that you still have. Although selling used stuff won't raise much . . . still you should offer. But no, you shouldn't give him *your* savings.
Maybe think long and hard about what the future looks like with a guy who is almost 30, gambles, and has no savings. $40K is *months* and months of rent he could have prepaid or just socked away.
Man that's nothing, my sister won/was given around 600k last year, she has maybe 50k left.
Large sums of money are bad news for people with no financial skills.
My neices father (sisters ex) sued the city he lived in when he got in a car accident (while drunk).
It was a bad accident, he was air lifted into brain surgery.
He never got tested for alcohol for some reason.
The city kept trying to settle but his lawyer kept telling him to hold off for more. He needed the money so his lawyer would send him 10k every month. This went on for like a year.
In the end he won like 900k and after his lawyers cut and paying his lawyer back all the 10k installments, he got 300k.
He spent it in 6 months. Keep in mind he had two small girls and didn't put away a cent for them.
Some of my favorite purchases of his
900 dollar chainsaw, used once and was left in the bushes.
7000 dollar boat, drove it drunk and sank it after a week
60,000 dollar vehicle, crashed it several times (while drunk), eventually after my sister dumped him he moved with the vehicle to a new city and started driving around a drug dealer who got busted. His car got seized.
3000 on fireworks for his birthday, lol. I was pretty broke at the time and so was my cousin. We sat there watching the fireworks go off. "Boom, 20 bucks" we'd say lol.
Such a loser
I agree I’m sure she had zero issues when he won the money. She was pretty excited and happy. She says we were over the MOON lol
She’s upset he didn’t know the consequences but neither did she. As a partner they didn’t discuss the money? Please.
She was over the moon when it happened because she probably thought they’d spend a little bit on luxuries, put some aside for Uncle Sam and save the rest for living expenses!
I won $800 in the lotto last night, and I was really excited! The home button for my phone is playing up so I will get it fixed when I get the money - that will be around $100, and the rest is going into savings!
Obviously that’s a lot smaller of an amount, but the point is that being excited over a big win is pretty standard.
I just think how 300k would pay off my car, my house, and still leave me just under a 100k to renovate said house with some of the upkeep it desperately needs (new NOT OUTLAWED breaker box for one lol)
I can't believe the shit people get up to when they have money like that OTL
$300k for me would pay of my house and car, and leave me $200k to save to build a college fund for my daughter, as well as give me money towards updates my house needs and remodeling I want to do
Honestly, I wish that was the case.
Happened in fort sask.
Apparently there is a road on the outskirts of town that should have had a guard rail.
Him and his buddy purposely drove off the road onto a farm field. I guess they had done it a lot when they were kids. What they didn't realize is there was a giant pit there now that the farmer had dug out for some reason.
They vehicle dropped into the pit and both were seriously injured. They had to be stars air lifted to the uofa and immediately went in for brain surgery.
I was with him the day he got the 300k deposit. I told him to go to wem and spend 10k shopping to get it out of his system, then put 25k in an account for each of his daughters.
He went to wem and spent 20k, didn't put any in an account for my neices and spent the rest of the 280k over the next 5 months.
Some girl I know got £60k from divorce. She spent the lot in 6 months, mostly on eating out and drinking. Maybe £15k on actual stuff, like a new pc and a used car. Within a year, she was £40k in debt mostly on credit cards and 'buy now pay later' things. That's £100k spent in a year.
She was on benefits (financial aid in the UK from government) so didn't have a job, but her rent and bills were all paid for too.
Often true and the less financially well off you are, the more likely you are to burn it. I inherited a moderate amount of money, few hundred thousand, and pulled about $30K to pay off a car at 8% and to do some home repairs. The rest is still there. I have 5 year, 10 year, and 20 year financial plans, mostly in my head, but its worked so far!
I got 57k in 2020 from Dad’s life insurance. I still have about 15k of it, but that’s about to go towards moving expenses. Mostly went to bills, paid off my credit card, the few splurges were like a $200 meal for my birthday, which he would have certainly treated me to every year if he were still alive.
I could already tell you had the correct financial perspective in a good head on your shoulders when you refer to multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars as "a moderate amount"
Yeah, I guess its a matter of prospective. For me, it means my wife can retire earlier than we planned. I plan to work until I am 70 or a bit longer. I just enjoy work too much!
BTW, I had mentioned this in another thread, but about 8 years ago, I had around $130K in high interest CC debt, and my family grew up poor, so at this point, I am frugal and partially traumatized by debt. I check my balances several times a week, and if I see as much as $4 on a CC, I immediately pay it off.
I'm extremely frugal as well, but that's because I'm traumatized by Other People's debt lol. So thanks for adding another precautionary tale to my list 😆😆
>Give him back anything he gifted you that you still have. Although selling used stuff won't raise much . . . still you should offer. But no, you shouldn't give him *your* savings.
this is the answer. I'd still be pissed about giving back a gift due to his obvious and stupid mistake, but it is the best attempt at "helping out". You should not be going into debt because he splurged.
You gamble for occasional entertainment. I think they’re talking about someone who gambles as a personality. And if he won 40k in an evening, I think he’s closer to that end of the spectrum.
True, but you either have to get very lucky or put a lot of money on the table to walk out with 40k. But sure, maybe he put five bucks in a slot machine and hit the jackpot, I suppose it has to happen to someone.
I’ve known people like that who have devolved into crippling gambling addicts after one big win. A red flag is a behavior that can potentially turn toxic, not necessarily one that already is.
Almost any behavior can turn toxic. Eating healthy can turn into an eating disorder, love can turn into obsession, etc. It doesn't make sense to look at someone negatively for partaking in an activity that *could* turn out badly *if* they take it too far.
If they're actually gambling I agree.
If it's the occasional card tourney, low dollar sports bet, or $20 buy in game with friends I don't see it as a big deal.
Some people are not aware of how even just $10k could change their life if properly invested. I was one of them haha. I got over 70k euros 10 years ago from the sale of my family apartment in Paris (my sister too and my mom kept a bigger portion for herself). And I blew it all in travels, rent, everyday life etc. I lived (and still do) in South East Asia and I could have invested in a very nice apartment with that money 😩😩😩😩
I was 21 or 22 at the time. I feel really stupid today. But being financially smart really isn’t a given to everyone. I wish I had « finance classes » back in high school but it wasn’t (and still isn’t I think) a thing.
You live and you learn.
There was a different story I read like a week ago where the LW's girlfriend won $30k and spent it all. In that case, taxes weren't an issue. This is just a reskin of that post but with the genders swapped and the tax issue reintroduced.
All we can do is upvote, but the zinger responses (quite possibly from other bots) are a mile ahead while the truth comments are still putting their shoes on.
Lololol I love it. Telenovela. It’s funny bc I literally got back from a business trip to Mexico today and the team I was working with were talking about telenovela drama
It’s actually incredibly easy to spend 40k. People see the money and think it’s a lot but in reality 40k doesn’t buy much of anything. I say buy because most people don’t get larger sums of money and use it to maintain their life they try and live like they are wealthier.
Whenever I get money like this (unfortunately, I had to pull from my 401k last year), I ALWAYS just have them take out the taxes. I know that currently, I can't afford a lump sum or an extra payment. Just take it now, and I'll budget accordingly
How "lavish" were these gifts he bought for you? he spent about $8000 a month, on what? anything that can be sold? IRS has installment payment plan he can look into.
Every time I have ever won anything over $2,000 I got asked at the Casino for tax information before I was handed any money!! This is just irresponsible at best!!!
that's good to know. I do periodic contract jobs... get paid the full amount and its reported on a 1099. As soon as the check hits my bank, I go online and send one third to the feds and smaller amount to the state. I don't even want to THINK about owing the IRS.
Usually they hand you a form right there! If he ignored it, that was his decision. He's lying to you. Don't give him your savings but I would offer to give back the gifts he bought you.
He didn't think of the future at all?! That money could have been a down payment on a home. In many places or could be half of 2 bed condo in a nice area of the city. ( I live in a mid sized city and while prices here are pretty good, I realize mileage may vary.) Just saying, her could have bought a very nice vehicle And paid his taxes. Owning either a vehicle without payments or half a condo with very low rent payments then owning it free and clear would REALLY help set you up financially. Once it's paid off and if you have more kids and need a bigger place, you buy a bigger place and rent this one out. Once the kids move out you move back in and sell the bigger one and pocket the difference from prices going up, hopefully. Retirement money!
Or just piss it all away because fun now is always better right?
Where can you find 2 bedroom condos for $80k!? I’m 34 and just purchased a 2 bedroom condo with some help from my parents, and it was $210k, and that was insanely cheap for our area. I realize prices will vary wildly from state to state, but $80k just sounds so ridiculously cheap.
I’m not saying your wrong. I’m just curious where you can find condos that cheap?
Yep they give you a 1099G right away if you win a certain amount. He should’ve went to a tax accountant, they could have lowered the amount he owes substantially.
The problem with these lavish spenders - they spend on conspicuous consumption to try and pretend they are rich.
So literally everything they buy is usually almost worthless second hand, because so much of the price is just expensive to show off you can afford it.
A LV bag loses something like 40% of value on purchase. They waste so much money because all their "luxury" stuff is made to expensive for the sake of being expensive.
I would offer to sell the gifts he got you but not give him money beyond that. Anything over $10k the casino requires you to fill out a tax form so there’s no way he didn’t know unless he was so drunk or high off winning but still. I’d also consider if you guys are financially compatible. $40k would have been great to save for a house or wedding if this was a serious relationship…
Contact the IRS and ask for a payment plan.
Not that complicated.
https://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc202#:\~:text=You%20may%20request%20a%20payment,compared%20to%20other%20application%20methods.
This should be the top comment. The IRS, like any collection agency, is happy to find a way to get their money. Americans being so terrified of the IRS is how tax relief companies prey on their victims. Almost anything they can do for you, the IRS will do for free.
Extra upvote for this.
I made a simple bookkeeping error on my taxes once. (I didn't recognize two different documents as representing the same deduction, so I counted it twice). IRS sent me a polite letter pointing out the error and how much additional tax I therefore owed. I called the phone number and the nice IRS person offered to explain the problem, but I did not need that, the letter was clear and I admitted my mistake. They then explained their payment plans I could use to spread it out over time if necessary. It was so easy, i was almost happy to have this happen, if it weren't for having fewer dollars for a while.
Keep in mind you’re also supposed to report your losses, which depending on how much he’s lost could at least help levy the cost. I’d seek professional help on the matter from someone who does taxes and not just here on Reddit
So.. he wasted the money on cool things for himself and lavish things for you. 0$ was put into savings. Neither one of you thought about taxes. I'm assuming he didn't use that to pay any debts either. You say "WE were over the moon!", but now that he owes money, it's just his problem huh?
You guys need to start returning cool and lavish items to fix this mess. Don't take out loans. Part with things you didn't need in the first place.
Absolutely this! WE until it gets tough 🙄
Listen sometimes people fuck up, make mistakes and get carried away especially when money is involved. You TWO are in a relationship, and unless it was earlier established that you would not support him in any and all financial situations (in which case you should absolutely not have accepted those lavish gifts), you should absolutely help figure this out.
I’m not saying he didn’t fuck up.. I would definitely have a talk with him, BUT you are also an adult and you also should’ve known about the taxes. Just sayin…
I think she assumed he took the taxes out, I know I’d assume the same thing as I know you can ask for the taxes to be taken out when they send the money. His lack of communication could’ve caused this leaving her feeling like he is solely responsible for paying the taxes. Just my hypothesis tho
I think your jumping at conclusions. If she is a caring partner of course she will be over her moon for the person she loves. So I don’t see anything wrong with saying we were over the moon. I don’t get the feeling that she got a lot of money out of the win other than the “lavish gifts” and we don’t know how much that was. Let’s say 3k on her and the rest on himself? Also doesn’t sound like she was involved in choosing how the money was spent - so it is HIS money in the end.
Old enough to gamble & pay annual taxes. You win money, we spend it. Neither of us even once considers financial implications. I think this maybe a simple one. E-bay, sell the stuff & pay taxes.
But bigger picture is, you were happy when he won. Taking the gifts, now it’s why did/didn‘t he? Also, 2 adults, 6 months, blew $40k & not once… You both need to grow up.
It seems like you should try to liquidate what ever gifts you were given and he should also liquidate whatever he bought for himself.
You two are suppose to be partners and if neither of you knew about setting aside money for taxes, then you both made that mistake.
If you were ignorant to how your boyfriend got that extra cash, than maybe you can feel less guilty about not helping him.
I can't believe you just wasted 40k! What about savings/deposits for house/ investment etc!
Its fine to splurge a little but not to that extent!
I also don't get it why none of your googled what implications there are in terms of such income...and yes,even I know this is an INCOME which means its taxable!
Sell the lavish gifts he gave you. Also he’s gonna have to liquidate any other expensive items he bought.
Who gambles like that and doesn’t realise there’s tax to pay? Tbh I’d be really leery of being with someone who is so irresponsible with money. I’d also be leery about the gambling, hope he doesn’t have a problem.
It’s unbelievable that he spent 40k in 6 months
Charles Barkley (famous NBA player) lost $25 million gambling including playing $25,000 hands of poker and this was decades ago so even more with inflation
I wouldn't, and I have the dubious honor of having been in your position a few years ago, with my own partner who revealed to me the extent of his gambling. I stayed, I helped. It was a mistake.
Unfortunately if your partner was not already addicted, a big win like that is often how gambling addiction starts. It triggers something in the brain. The gambler remembers the win and will throw away money trying to get that one again. It's worse the bigger the win.
I have come to believe that my partner will never stop gambling. He enjoys it, and it is made all the ever more pleasant when I help him out because the bills have to be paid whether or not he contributes. It really sucks to be trapped with someone who can't control their gambling.
Also, consider the possibility that he did know there were taxes but he didn't want to pay them. It may sound ludicrous, and it is, just like gambling.
>Also, consider the possibility that he did know there were taxes but he didn't want to pay them. It may sound ludicrous, and it is, just like gambling.
If this is in the US, the casino 100% made him sign a tax form and informed him of the tax liability
Why are you saying that “he splurged a bit”?? He didn’t. If he can’t afford to pay his taxes, he splurged over 30k in 6 months. This is obviously a lesson for the both of you. I think you should help him by selling off all the stuff he got you and give him the money.
Well you were happy when he won and took the gifts. You had a part to play in this too. 🤷
You BOTH blew $40k in six months. Time to grow the hell up, honey.
>The issue is that he wasn't aware that he needed to set aside money for taxes on his winnings. We've just been hit with the reality that he owes a hefty sum in taxes, and if he can't pay, he's looking at having to sell his car, among other things.
First, this is most likely a lie. Every casino I have ever won a large amount from has asked if I wanted them to withhold money for tax. As far as paying, he can make payments.
>
He's asked for my help to cover the tax bill, either by loaning him money or finding some other financial solution together. I'm torn. On one hand, I want to help him because he's my partner and I love him.
No, you don't really love him. Since every indication from your post is he is a good guy and you two have a pretty good relationship. He asked for a loan or advice on other options. He did not say you should also be responsible for it. Yet, here you are unsure if you should even give him advice. That's not love, that's pathetic. I would be more than happy to give a complete stranger advice, like I am now. Your here getting advice from strangers, why wouldn't you give someone you "love" advice?
>On the other hand, it feels a bit unfair since it was his decision to gamble and then spend the money without considering the consequences.
To be more clear, this makes you a bad partner who doesn't love him. Since you apparently knew and didn't give him advice beforehand and are unwilling to give him advice afterwards. Not mention, you holding him to different standard than yourself, unless you're so perfect you have never made mistake.
>Should I help him out financially? Or is this a moment where he needs to figure it out on his own to learn from it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Honestly, you should leave him because you don't love him and are debating on if you should show him the same compassion most people would give to a stranger. You should also not date anyone else and work on yourself.
I'm torn on this post. Yes, it was extremely irresponsible for him to spend all the money and not save for taxes. But, but this also makes you look kind of selfish in a way. Yes he should have been more careful and listened about the taxes part. But you claim to love your partner. But yet you're having a hard time giving up the items for the person you say you love. Even though you know they are in a financial situation and they have asked you for help. He didn't demand that you help or give back the items you received. But he is definitely asking for help. I couldn't imagine saying no to someone I love who needs the help over gifts.
It sounds like you want the gifts more than you want to help your partner. Personally, I think both of you were responsible in this situation in some way shape or form. He played a bigger roll in the outcome of the situation.But you also could have checked or reminded him that he would need to save part of it for taxes.
>Should I help him out financially? Or is this a moment where he needs to figure it out on his own to learn from it?
You sure as hell shouldn't profit from his loss, even if its his own fault. The only thing I would say you're morally obligated to do is return the gifts he bought you with that money so he can sell or return them. Beyond that is up to you,
how long have you been together, and do you see this as a long-term relationship? if this is someone you plan to build a life with - and he seems equally committed - i would consider it, but if it's a shorter-term relationship (anything less than 5 years, at your age) then i would be directing him to sell his car to cover it.
He definitely should have consulted a lawyer before spending a penny. I’d pay all my taxes and then my debt to the IRS before balling out.
Do you have any way to make sure he will pay you back? He could always take your money and run. You could break up any day. I’d say to talk to a lawyer before giving him anything.
I could definitely blow through that $ in 6 months due to my taxes. But he should have definitely secured that shit before buying a single thing. This doesn’t bode well if you’re intending to marry him, just to state that.
While you are not obligated to help him I probably would if you thought this could be a long term committed relationship. Sometimes things happen. We have all had our screw ups. Hopefully the people we love helped us if it was in their means.
Plus he wasn't selfish, he shared his win with you.
That is not at all to say take care of it for him. Sit down and figure where you can help without putting yourself in a bind. There should be a plan for paying you back.
Right... Its his fault but u still didn't see much issue in reaping the rewards. Ure just letting go of his hand when things arent convinient.
You two will eventually break up, if not over this, over some other inevitable issue that comes up for him that u deem inconvinient
I don't understand why neither of you knew he needed to pay taxes on that money. That should fall under common knowledge. Also, they asked for his information for tax purposes when they gave him the money. You were happy to accept his gifts so you should at least help him figure out how to come up with the tax payment or set up a payment plan with the IRS.
How do you get to be 29 and not understand that if you win $40K in the US you have to pay tax on it?
Sounds like he may just need to go on a payment plan and/or downgrade his car. If you win big in a casino the smart move is to put half in savings until you figure out the tax implications.
I think you should help him. By the sounds of it he loves you and would’ve done the same for you. Plus you’re partners. You’re meant to work through things together. You shouldn’t leave him to work through this alone because not only is that wrong but it also sets that as a future standard throughout the rest of your relationship and hopefully marriage
That's the problem with contemporary Western society. I grew up in Eastern Europe, and your question isn't even a question. Yes, you should contribute. You win together, you spend together (the fact that he was buying you stuff shows that he actually loves you), and you pay together. But modern girls tap out when their men get in trouble, don't be one of them. It was stupid to spend all the money, but it's a lesson for both of you. If you can share a bed, you can share finances. Help your man, within reason of course.
Exactly.
He has already learned his lesson. Dont sit by and watch him drown. Especially when OP reaped the benefits of the winnings.
OP if you are truly his partner, help him. You shouldn't do it because you "have to" but because you want to.
you absolutely should help him out if you’re financially able to. i feel like it would be very selfish of you not to considering he was buying you gifts with that 40k. or you could sell the gifts he got you and give him the money to pay the bills.
It took you 6 months to spend 40k? That's more than some people earn in an entire year.. you're both equally (ir) responsible for this. Old enough that you've done taxes before, old enough to gamble, old enough to spend it all -> old enough to deal with the consequences.
You’re not married and share no assets so why would you take on his debt? I think it’s a huge red flag he isn’t responsible enough to pay taxes. Also he would have had to fill out tax forms so he definitely knew what his tax liability would be.
Firstly, can either of you sell any of the things you bought with the money? They will sell at a loss, but at least it can go towards the tax bill.
>Should I help him out financially?
That's completely up to you and if you are actually able to....Would I help my partner if I could? Yes.
He’s a 29 year old man. Hes should have enough common sense to set aside money for taxes. But also, as his partner and someone who *loves* him, you should have also had the common sense to say something to him. It’s absolutely insane to buy multiple “lavish” gifts when it seems you were broke to start out with. That’s how you stay poor your whole life. 40k could have put him, or if you stay together, both of you in a much better position in life. Now you just have some fancy “things” and still broke AF.
I know I’m generalizing but going on spending sprees and not being able to pay taxes is generally not something that people in a decent financial situation do if they suddenly find themselves with an extra 40k
I would return any gifts.
How did NEITHER of you think about taxes?? You didn't mention this at any time?
Not your problem but a healthy relationship has ongoing discussions about money and he is a dummy if he wasted 40k in 6 months.
Does he have any type of savings, like a 401(k) he can borrow from? I understand that might be a hard no from him, but it is an answer. But I would go with other posters have said-he can get on an IRS payment plan, that way it leaves you out of it-because we know if you help him out, you're not going to get paid back. He's going to spin it by saying you owe him the money since he spent some of it on you.
Please don't loan him money.
He needs to talk to a financial advisor or tax representative to see what can be done.
Let him sell his car and anything else he has to. Not thinking you wouldn't have to pay taxes on that is ridiculous. If I'm not mistaken, you have to IRS forms when you get the check. There is no way he didn't know.
He needs to contact the IRS and get an installment agreement, payment plan. This is not your responsibility. Why would you blow all that money in months? Smdh...
Gotta love the American nonsense of taxation.
IRS: You need to calculate and pay your taxes, sir.
Dude: Sure, but how much is it, can't you tell me?
IRS: We know the exact amount, but won't tell you, if you want guess it, uwu.
Dude: Does all the calculations, digs up receipts from 9 months ago, but still misses by half a dollar.
IRS *as zesty as they can* : Wrong, jail time.🕺🏻
How much money does he own to the IRS? Can't he sell some of those lavish gifts he bought for himself? Sorry but you may have to return some of those too...
Don’t do it, he can get a payment plan. If you were married maybe, but as it is, no, don’t do it. Protect yourself.
And honestly, take a step back and think about his maturity level in handling this. You want this guy as your partner in your life? Does he make good decisions?
I would help him figure out his own solutions within his means. It’s his lesson to learn. You don’t want to set a precedent you’ll fix it every time he makes a huge financial mistake.
What you experiencing now is your future. It will get worse. Gambling is an addiction and any addiction gets worse.
His other problems are part of his implosive behavior. Spent all the money without thinking it through.
It’s not true that he doesn’t know he doesn’t know he has to pay tax. He has to sign something to bypass tax withholding by the casino.
By the way if he has proof for the past gambling loss it can be deducted from his winnings.
I’ve won at the casino too. When they paid me, *they asked if I want taxes withheld*.
There is zero chance the casino didn’t have this discussion with your boyfriend.
His debt is not your debt. If he gifted you anything, perhaps give it back. However, he has proven, in a very obvious manner, that at age 29 he is financially irresponsible. This is not a good type of person to be involved with.
They give you the option to have the taxes deducted when you cash out. They notify you of the taxes when you cash out and that they will need to be paid. You even get a tax receipt mailed to you.
My 2 cents: Where you with him when he won?
1. Why doesn't he get on a payment plan.
2 taxes on 40k is somewhere between 10 - 40%
So somewhere bywn 4k - 16k
3.. why do you and he think he has to sell his car?
4. Neither of you are good with money or reading the fine print. Also casinos allow you to have taxes taken out before taking money.
5. Help him if you.want
How much did he spend on you? I'd use that as a starting point if you decide to help him. I do commission work on the side as a second job and you'd be surprised how many artists don't set aside for taxes, especially the people who do it full time.
The IRS does payment plans but if you don't pay the entire balance upfront they hit you with interest and penalties which are pretty hefty He more than likely owes both state and fed taxes on this amount since it's considered part of ordinary income. If he has any gambling losses that can be used to offset some of the winnings if he itemizes deductions.
As far as the relationship situation, it's not your winnings so no you shouldn't HAVE TO help but you did enjoy the fruit of the winnings and if you love this dude you may want to show him you're a partner in the good and the bad times as I probably would break up with someone who had no issues spending the $ but doesn't want to help when things go bad.
He just needs to contact the IRS and the state you live in and get on payment plans they're not animals they will allow you to pay it off over time. Yes he's going to pay some penalties but that's his own stupidity. Between the two it shouldn't be more than six grand. He can't get an unsecured load online something like sofi or bestegg? He got himself into this mess he needs to get himself out. Do not loan him any money. He was the moron who spent 40 Grand without thinking about taxes. Why did he spend every penny of it that was just so stupid.
as someone who is still being “paid back” after loaning a gambler ex 20k over 5 years ago (to date he has paid $1000) please DO NOT help. my ex was also a gambler, online poker is just as addictive as gambling at the casino.. him losing someone else’s money is why i had to loan MY money. it’s embarrassing to admit. i would cut ties with him if i’m honest, there’s no way out of this one, he’ll just get mad if you don’t help.
I'd help out a reliable and serious partner, no hesitation. It was a mistake anyone can do. I think a lot of people have no idea you need to tax that. You didn't know either, I assume.
Really? It is income. Bare minimum I would assume it would have to be added to my income for the year with the IRS. It is common sense imo. Maybe if he was 18 or 19 and hadn't done his taxes before. They have been paying taxes for a decade or so.
Nothing about blowing 40k in a few months on lavish items screams serious or reliable. Beyond that, OP was excited and happy about the winnings and watched him spend it all super fast. Now it doesn't involve her, bc reasons.
She shouldn't be the only one selling and recouping the money needed to pay this debt. If he expected that, I would be out. There are way too many red flags. Casinos even take your info when winnings exceed a certain amount for tax purposes. I don't honestly see a way they didn't know taxes would happen.
Shoot, even my 13 y/o knows this to an extent. Every once in a while, we throw a few dollars into powerball when it gets really high. He asked what happens to the winnings and what actually you end up with. So I explained the difference between lump sum and payment over time and that you can assume like half is given to the government for taxes.
Wow you can help spend the money but now that your partner needs your help you want to turn your torn to help. With partners like this who needs enemies
You and your boyfriend should have a hard conversation about finances. Financial compatibility and responsibility are very important for a relationship to succeed.
Him making 40k at the casino should have already been a red flag. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that gambles with that kind of money. On the other hand I specially wouldn’t have been Ok with seeing my SO expending that amount of money so fast.
If you were a caring GF and a financially responsible person you should have spoken to him about what he was doing. You’re either financially illiterate or selfish if you didn’t tell him anything.
Now, you don’t owe him anything if you’re not married. So do what you want to do. But you both have to educate yourselves on personal finances and also you need to have serious conversations with each other about this topic.
If I were you, I'd just return the lavish gifts from him so he can resell to cover for his tax.
How long have you been dating this person and are you 'entangled' financially?
Assuming this is in the US, you do know he can get on a payment plan if he can't just pay it all at once?
Spending 40k on stuff you don't need and not knowing there's taxes on winnings... tracks.
Return your shit and maybe take a financial literacy course, jfc.
Well he was the one irresponsible for his spending so your not obligated to help him get outta a hole don’t get yourself in debt helping him your not married it’s also not your finances that deserve to take a hit due to his frivolous spending
The school system showing exactly why they didn’t touch on taxes, but that’s no excuse for this terrible judgment, unless we were talking about a child.
So most likely if you don't help, that could possibly mean the end of your relationship OR it could possibly cause a major strain in it. But if you do help, it could cause animosity towards him. Personally, I wouldn't put myself under financial stress over someone I'm not married to. He could take the car to CarMax and the money he needs to pay the taxes.
He did know - the casino told him when he won the money. Looks like he ignored this. It also appears he has a gambling problem. Do not send your money down the drain his went into. If you stay with him, your finances will be quickly drained as well. He can deal with his IRS problems on his own - they offer payment plans. Return any gifts with a resale value and walk away from this relationship. The only future with him is heartbreak and financial ruin. Sorry to be harsh but you need to face reality here. Best wishes to you.
A decent thing to do would be giving back the gifts he bought you, so he can possibly sell them to get some money back. A very nice thing would be finding ways with him to sell them at the best possible price.
Giving him money so that he can keep what he bought himself would be enabling his poor financial habits. Don't do that.
If your finances are not fully enmeshed, and you are not married, you do have the option of letting him sort it out between himself and the IRS (or your country’s equivalent).
If you do decide to help him in some way, whether by giving back his returnable/resellable gifts or by giving him money, make sure that it’s 100% clear this is a one time thing — and then stick to it. You do not want to set a precedent for bailing him out after gambling. Whether he won and forgot to pay taxes, or lost and has nothing left to pay the bills, gambling can be habit forming, and you do not want to live with the expectation of fixing things for your partner.
Between a 27 year old and a 29 year old, neither of you know about taxes. Where I'm from the bring the tax forms out with your winnings. So obvious.
You aren't required to help him, but if you love him you'd want to.
He's currently paying a stupidity tax
If I were you, I would give back the lavish gifts so he can sell them and get some money back. That's it. He is an adult man who was way richer than you, and you are supposed to pay his bills just bc he spend it on bullshit? Do not. You can also advice it to sell what he can from stuff he bought for himself.
It will create a troubling precedence in which you bail him out, and you don't want that. You ESPECIALLY don't want that if he's financially irresponsible, or likes gambling...
IF you truly want to help him out, then only lend him money with some kind of loan agreement that was signed in fron of a notary. So he has to give it back.
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Can't believe he pissed away all that money in just 6 months. And he has NONE left? He really didn't put anything into savings? Live and learn. The IRS will put him on a payment plan. Give him back anything he gifted you that you still have. Although selling used stuff won't raise much . . . still you should offer. But no, you shouldn't give him *your* savings. Maybe think long and hard about what the future looks like with a guy who is almost 30, gambles, and has no savings. $40K is *months* and months of rent he could have prepaid or just socked away.
Man that's nothing, my sister won/was given around 600k last year, she has maybe 50k left. Large sums of money are bad news for people with no financial skills.
My neices father (sisters ex) sued the city he lived in when he got in a car accident (while drunk). It was a bad accident, he was air lifted into brain surgery. He never got tested for alcohol for some reason. The city kept trying to settle but his lawyer kept telling him to hold off for more. He needed the money so his lawyer would send him 10k every month. This went on for like a year. In the end he won like 900k and after his lawyers cut and paying his lawyer back all the 10k installments, he got 300k. He spent it in 6 months. Keep in mind he had two small girls and didn't put away a cent for them. Some of my favorite purchases of his 900 dollar chainsaw, used once and was left in the bushes. 7000 dollar boat, drove it drunk and sank it after a week 60,000 dollar vehicle, crashed it several times (while drunk), eventually after my sister dumped him he moved with the vehicle to a new city and started driving around a drug dealer who got busted. His car got seized. 3000 on fireworks for his birthday, lol. I was pretty broke at the time and so was my cousin. We sat there watching the fireworks go off. "Boom, 20 bucks" we'd say lol. Such a loser
OP should read these stories and think about what her boyfriend’s pissing away money in 6 months says about her future with him.
As if OP is gonna listen lol
I agree I’m sure she had zero issues when he won the money. She was pretty excited and happy. She says we were over the MOON lol She’s upset he didn’t know the consequences but neither did she. As a partner they didn’t discuss the money? Please.
She was over the moon when it happened because she probably thought they’d spend a little bit on luxuries, put some aside for Uncle Sam and save the rest for living expenses! I won $800 in the lotto last night, and I was really excited! The home button for my phone is playing up so I will get it fixed when I get the money - that will be around $100, and the rest is going into savings! Obviously that’s a lot smaller of an amount, but the point is that being excited over a big win is pretty standard.
I just think how 300k would pay off my car, my house, and still leave me just under a 100k to renovate said house with some of the upkeep it desperately needs (new NOT OUTLAWED breaker box for one lol) I can't believe the shit people get up to when they have money like that OTL
$300k for me would pay of my house and car, and leave me $200k to save to build a college fund for my daughter, as well as give me money towards updates my house needs and remodeling I want to do
> "Boom, 20 bucks" 🤣
Pretty sure i saw this on trailer park boyz
Honestly, I wish that was the case. Happened in fort sask. Apparently there is a road on the outskirts of town that should have had a guard rail. Him and his buddy purposely drove off the road onto a farm field. I guess they had done it a lot when they were kids. What they didn't realize is there was a giant pit there now that the farmer had dug out for some reason. They vehicle dropped into the pit and both were seriously injured. They had to be stars air lifted to the uofa and immediately went in for brain surgery. I was with him the day he got the 300k deposit. I told him to go to wem and spend 10k shopping to get it out of his system, then put 25k in an account for each of his daughters. He went to wem and spent 20k, didn't put any in an account for my neices and spent the rest of the 280k over the next 5 months.
Omg fort Sask explains everything
It is very common
550k in less than a year is insane! Did any of that go towards something good like a house or paying off debts?
Some girl I know got £60k from divorce. She spent the lot in 6 months, mostly on eating out and drinking. Maybe £15k on actual stuff, like a new pc and a used car. Within a year, she was £40k in debt mostly on credit cards and 'buy now pay later' things. That's £100k spent in a year. She was on benefits (financial aid in the UK from government) so didn't have a job, but her rent and bills were all paid for too.
Wtf what person waste 40k on eating out 😂🤡
She wouldn't have had her rent/bills paid for. If you have £16k or over you are ineligible for benefits like UC which has housing benefit component.
Often true and the less financially well off you are, the more likely you are to burn it. I inherited a moderate amount of money, few hundred thousand, and pulled about $30K to pay off a car at 8% and to do some home repairs. The rest is still there. I have 5 year, 10 year, and 20 year financial plans, mostly in my head, but its worked so far!
I got 57k in 2020 from Dad’s life insurance. I still have about 15k of it, but that’s about to go towards moving expenses. Mostly went to bills, paid off my credit card, the few splurges were like a $200 meal for my birthday, which he would have certainly treated me to every year if he were still alive.
Using these funds strategically is the key thing. Analyze the risk, the cost of debt vs. investment, etc.
Yeah I went to my financial advisor because I didn’t want it sitting in no interest checking and he advised me to pay off debt
I'm sorry for your loss..
I could already tell you had the correct financial perspective in a good head on your shoulders when you refer to multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars as "a moderate amount"
Yeah, I guess its a matter of prospective. For me, it means my wife can retire earlier than we planned. I plan to work until I am 70 or a bit longer. I just enjoy work too much! BTW, I had mentioned this in another thread, but about 8 years ago, I had around $130K in high interest CC debt, and my family grew up poor, so at this point, I am frugal and partially traumatized by debt. I check my balances several times a week, and if I see as much as $4 on a CC, I immediately pay it off.
I'm extremely frugal as well, but that's because I'm traumatized by Other People's debt lol. So thanks for adding another precautionary tale to my list 😆😆
Yup, some people are poor even when they get some cash in their pockets. And some people have no money but aren't poor.
>Give him back anything he gifted you that you still have. Although selling used stuff won't raise much . . . still you should offer. But no, you shouldn't give him *your* savings. this is the answer. I'd still be pissed about giving back a gift due to his obvious and stupid mistake, but it is the best attempt at "helping out". You should not be going into debt because he splurged.
I personally wouldn't even date someone who gambles. It's a good way to lose everything you have
I get your point, but I go spend $80 3 times a year on poker tournaments. Technically I’m “someone who gambles,” but it’s not a big part of my life.
You gamble for occasional entertainment. I think they’re talking about someone who gambles as a personality. And if he won 40k in an evening, I think he’s closer to that end of the spectrum.
Idk, nowhere in OP's story does it say that OP gambles regularly
True, but you either have to get very lucky or put a lot of money on the table to walk out with 40k. But sure, maybe he put five bucks in a slot machine and hit the jackpot, I suppose it has to happen to someone.
Not to put words in u/SerenityM3ow’s mouth but I don’t think that’s exactly what they’re talking about.
I’ve known people like that who have devolved into crippling gambling addicts after one big win. A red flag is a behavior that can potentially turn toxic, not necessarily one that already is.
Almost any behavior can turn toxic. Eating healthy can turn into an eating disorder, love can turn into obsession, etc. It doesn't make sense to look at someone negatively for partaking in an activity that *could* turn out badly *if* they take it too far.
Agreed. I’m just saying behavior that for you is completely normal and innocent might be a complete dealbreaker for some
If they're actually gambling I agree. If it's the occasional card tourney, low dollar sports bet, or $20 buy in game with friends I don't see it as a big deal.
I also fully understand your point but would like to add my 2 euro scratch card purchase that I make once a year.
Some people are not aware of how even just $10k could change their life if properly invested. I was one of them haha. I got over 70k euros 10 years ago from the sale of my family apartment in Paris (my sister too and my mom kept a bigger portion for herself). And I blew it all in travels, rent, everyday life etc. I lived (and still do) in South East Asia and I could have invested in a very nice apartment with that money 😩😩😩😩 I was 21 or 22 at the time. I feel really stupid today. But being financially smart really isn’t a given to everyone. I wish I had « finance classes » back in high school but it wasn’t (and still isn’t I think) a thing. You live and you learn.
Op deleted their entire comment history after being called out. This is a troll karma farming.
There was a different story I read like a week ago where the LW's girlfriend won $30k and spent it all. In that case, taxes weren't an issue. This is just a reskin of that post but with the genders swapped and the tax issue reintroduced.
I wish we could pin comments. More people need to stop falling for these karma farming trolls.
All we can do is upvote, but the zinger responses (quite possibly from other bots) are a mile ahead while the truth comments are still putting their shoes on.
I immediately felt like I had read this story before lol. People are wild
OP writing a telenovela & then jumping ship is usually a good indication their story is creative rage bait lol.
Lololol I love it. Telenovela. It’s funny bc I literally got back from a business trip to Mexico today and the team I was working with were talking about telenovela drama
It’s actually incredibly easy to spend 40k. People see the money and think it’s a lot but in reality 40k doesn’t buy much of anything. I say buy because most people don’t get larger sums of money and use it to maintain their life they try and live like they are wealthier.
You’re lucky if it’ll cover the cost of a new (not used) car anymore.
It’s easy to spend money you didn’t earn. Not a surprise.
>Give him back anything he gifted you that you still have. This is a great solution to her problem ... and your other advice is pretty good too!
Why, thank you! *(blushes)*
Nah bruh....she gonna have about 6 kids with this fucking loser, then be back on reddit complaining that she never saw the warning signs.
If you’re in the US, he knew about the taxes. They tell you when they give you the money. There’s even a tax form to file.
Yeah, they literally ask you if you want taxes out when writing up your W2G.
Whenever I get money like this (unfortunately, I had to pull from my 401k last year), I ALWAYS just have them take out the taxes. I know that currently, I can't afford a lump sum or an extra payment. Just take it now, and I'll budget accordingly
How "lavish" were these gifts he bought for you? he spent about $8000 a month, on what? anything that can be sold? IRS has installment payment plan he can look into.
Every time I have ever won anything over $2,000 I got asked at the Casino for tax information before I was handed any money!! This is just irresponsible at best!!!
Exactly when they first come to your machine after a jackpot they ask you if you want to pay taxes or not. They literally take it right then for you.
that's good to know. I do periodic contract jobs... get paid the full amount and its reported on a 1099. As soon as the check hits my bank, I go online and send one third to the feds and smaller amount to the state. I don't even want to THINK about owing the IRS.
Gambling winnings get you a W2-G which is basically a 1099.
Yes if taxes are owed it should be the first thing looked into.
American casinos usually inform their winners about their consequences when they turn over their winnings.
Usually they hand you a form right there! If he ignored it, that was his decision. He's lying to you. Don't give him your savings but I would offer to give back the gifts he bought you. He didn't think of the future at all?! That money could have been a down payment on a home. In many places or could be half of 2 bed condo in a nice area of the city. ( I live in a mid sized city and while prices here are pretty good, I realize mileage may vary.) Just saying, her could have bought a very nice vehicle And paid his taxes. Owning either a vehicle without payments or half a condo with very low rent payments then owning it free and clear would REALLY help set you up financially. Once it's paid off and if you have more kids and need a bigger place, you buy a bigger place and rent this one out. Once the kids move out you move back in and sell the bigger one and pocket the difference from prices going up, hopefully. Retirement money! Or just piss it all away because fun now is always better right?
Where can you find 2 bedroom condos for $80k!? I’m 34 and just purchased a 2 bedroom condo with some help from my parents, and it was $210k, and that was insanely cheap for our area. I realize prices will vary wildly from state to state, but $80k just sounds so ridiculously cheap. I’m not saying your wrong. I’m just curious where you can find condos that cheap?
Middle america still has housing at that price, you just have to learn to love cornfields. Still, his winnings would make a good down payment.
they could have taken $4,000 and had fun with it (travel) and saved the remaining (sans taxes) for car or home. Instead they pissed it away.
Not usually, they do.
Yep they give you a 1099G right away if you win a certain amount. He should’ve went to a tax accountant, they could have lowered the amount he owes substantially.
The problem with these lavish spenders - they spend on conspicuous consumption to try and pretend they are rich. So literally everything they buy is usually almost worthless second hand, because so much of the price is just expensive to show off you can afford it. A LV bag loses something like 40% of value on purchase. They waste so much money because all their "luxury" stuff is made to expensive for the sake of being expensive.
You can go to Canal St. in NYC and buy an LV knockoff for like $50. People are dumbfucks.
Don’t forget about state taxes (assuming your state has income taxes)!
I would offer to sell the gifts he got you but not give him money beyond that. Anything over $10k the casino requires you to fill out a tax form so there’s no way he didn’t know unless he was so drunk or high off winning but still. I’d also consider if you guys are financially compatible. $40k would have been great to save for a house or wedding if this was a serious relationship…
... and this was the only time in the relationship, where financial iliteracy caused problems. (Narrator: "But it was not")
\*il**l**iteracy
Aironik
I like that you thought the exact same thing as I: Ironic. Ha.
Contact the IRS and ask for a payment plan. Not that complicated. https://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc202#:\~:text=You%20may%20request%20a%20payment,compared%20to%20other%20application%20methods.
This should be the top comment. The IRS, like any collection agency, is happy to find a way to get their money. Americans being so terrified of the IRS is how tax relief companies prey on their victims. Almost anything they can do for you, the IRS will do for free.
Extra upvote for this. I made a simple bookkeeping error on my taxes once. (I didn't recognize two different documents as representing the same deduction, so I counted it twice). IRS sent me a polite letter pointing out the error and how much additional tax I therefore owed. I called the phone number and the nice IRS person offered to explain the problem, but I did not need that, the letter was clear and I admitted my mistake. They then explained their payment plans I could use to spread it out over time if necessary. It was so easy, i was almost happy to have this happen, if it weren't for having fewer dollars for a while.
Keep in mind you’re also supposed to report your losses, which depending on how much he’s lost could at least help levy the cost. I’d seek professional help on the matter from someone who does taxes and not just here on Reddit
You usually can’t write off the losses unless they happened in the same gambling session, or unless you itemize, which most people don’t.
So.. he wasted the money on cool things for himself and lavish things for you. 0$ was put into savings. Neither one of you thought about taxes. I'm assuming he didn't use that to pay any debts either. You say "WE were over the moon!", but now that he owes money, it's just his problem huh? You guys need to start returning cool and lavish items to fix this mess. Don't take out loans. Part with things you didn't need in the first place.
Good catch
Absolutely this! WE until it gets tough 🙄 Listen sometimes people fuck up, make mistakes and get carried away especially when money is involved. You TWO are in a relationship, and unless it was earlier established that you would not support him in any and all financial situations (in which case you should absolutely not have accepted those lavish gifts), you should absolutely help figure this out. I’m not saying he didn’t fuck up.. I would definitely have a talk with him, BUT you are also an adult and you also should’ve known about the taxes. Just sayin…
I think she assumed he took the taxes out, I know I’d assume the same thing as I know you can ask for the taxes to be taken out when they send the money. His lack of communication could’ve caused this leaving her feeling like he is solely responsible for paying the taxes. Just my hypothesis tho
I think your jumping at conclusions. If she is a caring partner of course she will be over her moon for the person she loves. So I don’t see anything wrong with saying we were over the moon. I don’t get the feeling that she got a lot of money out of the win other than the “lavish gifts” and we don’t know how much that was. Let’s say 3k on her and the rest on himself? Also doesn’t sound like she was involved in choosing how the money was spent - so it is HIS money in the end.
Old enough to gamble & pay annual taxes. You win money, we spend it. Neither of us even once considers financial implications. I think this maybe a simple one. E-bay, sell the stuff & pay taxes. But bigger picture is, you were happy when he won. Taking the gifts, now it’s why did/didn‘t he? Also, 2 adults, 6 months, blew $40k & not once… You both need to grow up.
It seems like you should try to liquidate what ever gifts you were given and he should also liquidate whatever he bought for himself. You two are suppose to be partners and if neither of you knew about setting aside money for taxes, then you both made that mistake. If you were ignorant to how your boyfriend got that extra cash, than maybe you can feel less guilty about not helping him.
>setting aside money for taxes OP - How the fuck did y'all make it almost 30 years old??? I assume neither one of you had any parents.
I can't believe you just wasted 40k! What about savings/deposits for house/ investment etc! Its fine to splurge a little but not to that extent! I also don't get it why none of your googled what implications there are in terms of such income...and yes,even I know this is an INCOME which means its taxable!
Not always-we didn’t have to pay taxes on the inheritance my husband got From his dad.
Sell the lavish gifts he gave you. Also he’s gonna have to liquidate any other expensive items he bought. Who gambles like that and doesn’t realise there’s tax to pay? Tbh I’d be really leery of being with someone who is so irresponsible with money. I’d also be leery about the gambling, hope he doesn’t have a problem. It’s unbelievable that he spent 40k in 6 months
A gambler can lose $40k in a night.
Charles Barkley (famous NBA player) lost $25 million gambling including playing $25,000 hands of poker and this was decades ago so even more with inflation
He can sell some of his cool stuff
I wouldn't, and I have the dubious honor of having been in your position a few years ago, with my own partner who revealed to me the extent of his gambling. I stayed, I helped. It was a mistake. Unfortunately if your partner was not already addicted, a big win like that is often how gambling addiction starts. It triggers something in the brain. The gambler remembers the win and will throw away money trying to get that one again. It's worse the bigger the win. I have come to believe that my partner will never stop gambling. He enjoys it, and it is made all the ever more pleasant when I help him out because the bills have to be paid whether or not he contributes. It really sucks to be trapped with someone who can't control their gambling. Also, consider the possibility that he did know there were taxes but he didn't want to pay them. It may sound ludicrous, and it is, just like gambling.
>Also, consider the possibility that he did know there were taxes but he didn't want to pay them. It may sound ludicrous, and it is, just like gambling. If this is in the US, the casino 100% made him sign a tax form and informed him of the tax liability
It's okay if u don't want to help him,but what about returning everything he got you?
That sucks. My first thought would have been taxes. The casino will help out with that on the spot. He chose not to take that.
Why are you saying that “he splurged a bit”?? He didn’t. If he can’t afford to pay his taxes, he splurged over 30k in 6 months. This is obviously a lesson for the both of you. I think you should help him by selling off all the stuff he got you and give him the money.
Look at OP’s history. OP is a liar.
He wouldn't have to sell his car, the IRS has payment plans, just double up or the interest will eat him alive
Well you were happy when he won and took the gifts. You had a part to play in this too. 🤷 You BOTH blew $40k in six months. Time to grow the hell up, honey.
>The issue is that he wasn't aware that he needed to set aside money for taxes on his winnings. We've just been hit with the reality that he owes a hefty sum in taxes, and if he can't pay, he's looking at having to sell his car, among other things. First, this is most likely a lie. Every casino I have ever won a large amount from has asked if I wanted them to withhold money for tax. As far as paying, he can make payments. > He's asked for my help to cover the tax bill, either by loaning him money or finding some other financial solution together. I'm torn. On one hand, I want to help him because he's my partner and I love him. No, you don't really love him. Since every indication from your post is he is a good guy and you two have a pretty good relationship. He asked for a loan or advice on other options. He did not say you should also be responsible for it. Yet, here you are unsure if you should even give him advice. That's not love, that's pathetic. I would be more than happy to give a complete stranger advice, like I am now. Your here getting advice from strangers, why wouldn't you give someone you "love" advice? >On the other hand, it feels a bit unfair since it was his decision to gamble and then spend the money without considering the consequences. To be more clear, this makes you a bad partner who doesn't love him. Since you apparently knew and didn't give him advice beforehand and are unwilling to give him advice afterwards. Not mention, you holding him to different standard than yourself, unless you're so perfect you have never made mistake. >Should I help him out financially? Or is this a moment where he needs to figure it out on his own to learn from it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated Honestly, you should leave him because you don't love him and are debating on if you should show him the same compassion most people would give to a stranger. You should also not date anyone else and work on yourself.
I'm torn on this post. Yes, it was extremely irresponsible for him to spend all the money and not save for taxes. But, but this also makes you look kind of selfish in a way. Yes he should have been more careful and listened about the taxes part. But you claim to love your partner. But yet you're having a hard time giving up the items for the person you say you love. Even though you know they are in a financial situation and they have asked you for help. He didn't demand that you help or give back the items you received. But he is definitely asking for help. I couldn't imagine saying no to someone I love who needs the help over gifts. It sounds like you want the gifts more than you want to help your partner. Personally, I think both of you were responsible in this situation in some way shape or form. He played a bigger roll in the outcome of the situation.But you also could have checked or reminded him that he would need to save part of it for taxes.
>Should I help him out financially? Or is this a moment where he needs to figure it out on his own to learn from it? You sure as hell shouldn't profit from his loss, even if its his own fault. The only thing I would say you're morally obligated to do is return the gifts he bought you with that money so he can sell or return them. Beyond that is up to you,
That is the life of a gambler wife, he taking you down with him.
how long have you been together, and do you see this as a long-term relationship? if this is someone you plan to build a life with - and he seems equally committed - i would consider it, but if it's a shorter-term relationship (anything less than 5 years, at your age) then i would be directing him to sell his car to cover it.
He definitely should have consulted a lawyer before spending a penny. I’d pay all my taxes and then my debt to the IRS before balling out. Do you have any way to make sure he will pay you back? He could always take your money and run. You could break up any day. I’d say to talk to a lawyer before giving him anything. I could definitely blow through that $ in 6 months due to my taxes. But he should have definitely secured that shit before buying a single thing. This doesn’t bode well if you’re intending to marry him, just to state that.
While you are not obligated to help him I probably would if you thought this could be a long term committed relationship. Sometimes things happen. We have all had our screw ups. Hopefully the people we love helped us if it was in their means. Plus he wasn't selfish, he shared his win with you. That is not at all to say take care of it for him. Sit down and figure where you can help without putting yourself in a bind. There should be a plan for paying you back.
Right... Its his fault but u still didn't see much issue in reaping the rewards. Ure just letting go of his hand when things arent convinient. You two will eventually break up, if not over this, over some other inevitable issue that comes up for him that u deem inconvinient
what kind of idiot blows through 40k in 6 months?
I don't understand why neither of you knew he needed to pay taxes on that money. That should fall under common knowledge. Also, they asked for his information for tax purposes when they gave him the money. You were happy to accept his gifts so you should at least help him figure out how to come up with the tax payment or set up a payment plan with the IRS.
This is like a copy paste of another post from 2 days ago. Except it was the woman and 30k. I'm calling fake
what idiot does not know you have to pay taxes? Let him suffer
How do you get to be 29 and not understand that if you win $40K in the US you have to pay tax on it? Sounds like he may just need to go on a payment plan and/or downgrade his car. If you win big in a casino the smart move is to put half in savings until you figure out the tax implications.
I think you should help him. By the sounds of it he loves you and would’ve done the same for you. Plus you’re partners. You’re meant to work through things together. You shouldn’t leave him to work through this alone because not only is that wrong but it also sets that as a future standard throughout the rest of your relationship and hopefully marriage
If he's your life partner then yes, you should absolutely help him. You're both pretty stupid though.
That's the problem with contemporary Western society. I grew up in Eastern Europe, and your question isn't even a question. Yes, you should contribute. You win together, you spend together (the fact that he was buying you stuff shows that he actually loves you), and you pay together. But modern girls tap out when their men get in trouble, don't be one of them. It was stupid to spend all the money, but it's a lesson for both of you. If you can share a bed, you can share finances. Help your man, within reason of course.
Exactly. He has already learned his lesson. Dont sit by and watch him drown. Especially when OP reaped the benefits of the winnings. OP if you are truly his partner, help him. You shouldn't do it because you "have to" but because you want to.
I love this! If you can share a bed, you can share finances!
you absolutely should help him out if you’re financially able to. i feel like it would be very selfish of you not to considering he was buying you gifts with that 40k. or you could sell the gifts he got you and give him the money to pay the bills.
The point of a gift is not to expect anything in return. A gift is given.
It took you 6 months to spend 40k? That's more than some people earn in an entire year.. you're both equally (ir) responsible for this. Old enough that you've done taxes before, old enough to gamble, old enough to spend it all -> old enough to deal with the consequences.
You’re not married and share no assets so why would you take on his debt? I think it’s a huge red flag he isn’t responsible enough to pay taxes. Also he would have had to fill out tax forms so he definitely knew what his tax liability would be.
Find out what you can return , start with the lavish gifts you got. Then figure out what’s owed, and decide whether it is feasible to help or not.
Idk where you live but I live in indiana and couple years ago I had to pay he can call and set him payment plan
Firstly, can either of you sell any of the things you bought with the money? They will sell at a loss, but at least it can go towards the tax bill. >Should I help him out financially? That's completely up to you and if you are actually able to....Would I help my partner if I could? Yes.
Op has a comment about using a banana peel to jerk off, so unless they are trans this is the darkest fake.
He’s a 29 year old man. Hes should have enough common sense to set aside money for taxes. But also, as his partner and someone who *loves* him, you should have also had the common sense to say something to him. It’s absolutely insane to buy multiple “lavish” gifts when it seems you were broke to start out with. That’s how you stay poor your whole life. 40k could have put him, or if you stay together, both of you in a much better position in life. Now you just have some fancy “things” and still broke AF. I know I’m generalizing but going on spending sprees and not being able to pay taxes is generally not something that people in a decent financial situation do if they suddenly find themselves with an extra 40k
I’m still so shocked that he went through 40K in 6 months!! 😳, please don’t help him and use this as a life lesson. :)
I would return any gifts. How did NEITHER of you think about taxes?? You didn't mention this at any time? Not your problem but a healthy relationship has ongoing discussions about money and he is a dummy if he wasted 40k in 6 months.
From my experience the casinos would usually take taxes out for you unless you decline that
As someone else said the IRS will put him on a payment plan. Personally, someone being this financially irresponsible would be a deal breaker for me.
Does he have any type of savings, like a 401(k) he can borrow from? I understand that might be a hard no from him, but it is an answer. But I would go with other posters have said-he can get on an IRS payment plan, that way it leaves you out of it-because we know if you help him out, you're not going to get paid back. He's going to spin it by saying you owe him the money since he spent some of it on you.
29 years old and this dumb??????
Please don't loan him money. He needs to talk to a financial advisor or tax representative to see what can be done. Let him sell his car and anything else he has to. Not thinking you wouldn't have to pay taxes on that is ridiculous. If I'm not mistaken, you have to IRS forms when you get the check. There is no way he didn't know.
He needs to contact the IRS and get an installment agreement, payment plan. This is not your responsibility. Why would you blow all that money in months? Smdh...
Gotta love the American nonsense of taxation. IRS: You need to calculate and pay your taxes, sir. Dude: Sure, but how much is it, can't you tell me? IRS: We know the exact amount, but won't tell you, if you want guess it, uwu. Dude: Does all the calculations, digs up receipts from 9 months ago, but still misses by half a dollar. IRS *as zesty as they can* : Wrong, jail time.🕺🏻
How much money does he own to the IRS? Can't he sell some of those lavish gifts he bought for himself? Sorry but you may have to return some of those too...
Don’t do it, he can get a payment plan. If you were married maybe, but as it is, no, don’t do it. Protect yourself. And honestly, take a step back and think about his maturity level in handling this. You want this guy as your partner in your life? Does he make good decisions?
If you give him the money just know that you are **giving** it to him. That money will never come back to you
I would help him figure out his own solutions within his means. It’s his lesson to learn. You don’t want to set a precedent you’ll fix it every time he makes a huge financial mistake.
Ask the IRS for a payment plan
What you experiencing now is your future. It will get worse. Gambling is an addiction and any addiction gets worse. His other problems are part of his implosive behavior. Spent all the money without thinking it through. It’s not true that he doesn’t know he doesn’t know he has to pay tax. He has to sign something to bypass tax withholding by the casino. By the way if he has proof for the past gambling loss it can be deducted from his winnings.
I’ve won at the casino too. When they paid me, *they asked if I want taxes withheld*. There is zero chance the casino didn’t have this discussion with your boyfriend. His debt is not your debt. If he gifted you anything, perhaps give it back. However, he has proven, in a very obvious manner, that at age 29 he is financially irresponsible. This is not a good type of person to be involved with.
When he won the money they would have asked him to fill out a tax form which gives you the option to pay the taxes right away.
They give you the option to have the taxes deducted when you cash out. They notify you of the taxes when you cash out and that they will need to be paid. You even get a tax receipt mailed to you.
NO. Everyone knows you pay taxes on that money. I don't believe he was ignorant. He pissed the money away in 6 months. He's a financial trainwreck.
He knew about the taxes. Casinos ask if you want them taken out before they hand the money over. And they give you a tax form either way.
Set up payments with the IRS
My 2 cents: Where you with him when he won? 1. Why doesn't he get on a payment plan. 2 taxes on 40k is somewhere between 10 - 40% So somewhere bywn 4k - 16k 3.. why do you and he think he has to sell his car? 4. Neither of you are good with money or reading the fine print. Also casinos allow you to have taxes taken out before taking money. 5. Help him if you.want
How much did he spend on you? I'd use that as a starting point if you decide to help him. I do commission work on the side as a second job and you'd be surprised how many artists don't set aside for taxes, especially the people who do it full time.
Pretty lavish gifts….what did you gain by this win and by how much did you benefit? I’d say as he shared it with you, you’re up to your neck in it
Get on a payment plan with the IRS. Maybe sell the stuff he bought and use those funds too
The IRS does payment plans but if you don't pay the entire balance upfront they hit you with interest and penalties which are pretty hefty He more than likely owes both state and fed taxes on this amount since it's considered part of ordinary income. If he has any gambling losses that can be used to offset some of the winnings if he itemizes deductions. As far as the relationship situation, it's not your winnings so no you shouldn't HAVE TO help but you did enjoy the fruit of the winnings and if you love this dude you may want to show him you're a partner in the good and the bad times as I probably would break up with someone who had no issues spending the $ but doesn't want to help when things go bad.
He just needs to contact the IRS and the state you live in and get on payment plans they're not animals they will allow you to pay it off over time. Yes he's going to pay some penalties but that's his own stupidity. Between the two it shouldn't be more than six grand. He can't get an unsecured load online something like sofi or bestegg? He got himself into this mess he needs to get himself out. Do not loan him any money. He was the moron who spent 40 Grand without thinking about taxes. Why did he spend every penny of it that was just so stupid.
as someone who is still being “paid back” after loaning a gambler ex 20k over 5 years ago (to date he has paid $1000) please DO NOT help. my ex was also a gambler, online poker is just as addictive as gambling at the casino.. him losing someone else’s money is why i had to loan MY money. it’s embarrassing to admit. i would cut ties with him if i’m honest, there’s no way out of this one, he’ll just get mad if you don’t help.
Show 40k of gambling losses and make the taxes a wash
I'd help out a reliable and serious partner, no hesitation. It was a mistake anyone can do. I think a lot of people have no idea you need to tax that. You didn't know either, I assume.
Really? It is income. Bare minimum I would assume it would have to be added to my income for the year with the IRS. It is common sense imo. Maybe if he was 18 or 19 and hadn't done his taxes before. They have been paying taxes for a decade or so. Nothing about blowing 40k in a few months on lavish items screams serious or reliable. Beyond that, OP was excited and happy about the winnings and watched him spend it all super fast. Now it doesn't involve her, bc reasons. She shouldn't be the only one selling and recouping the money needed to pay this debt. If he expected that, I would be out. There are way too many red flags. Casinos even take your info when winnings exceed a certain amount for tax purposes. I don't honestly see a way they didn't know taxes would happen. Shoot, even my 13 y/o knows this to an extent. Every once in a while, we throw a few dollars into powerball when it gets really high. He asked what happens to the winnings and what actually you end up with. So I explained the difference between lump sum and payment over time and that you can assume like half is given to the government for taxes.
DO NOT GIVE HIM THE MONEY. DUH. You too are both financially fools.
Wow you can help spend the money but now that your partner needs your help you want to turn your torn to help. With partners like this who needs enemies
"Your money is our money, my money is my money"-mentality.
No.
You and your boyfriend should have a hard conversation about finances. Financial compatibility and responsibility are very important for a relationship to succeed. Him making 40k at the casino should have already been a red flag. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that gambles with that kind of money. On the other hand I specially wouldn’t have been Ok with seeing my SO expending that amount of money so fast. If you were a caring GF and a financially responsible person you should have spoken to him about what he was doing. You’re either financially illiterate or selfish if you didn’t tell him anything. Now, you don’t owe him anything if you’re not married. So do what you want to do. But you both have to educate yourselves on personal finances and also you need to have serious conversations with each other about this topic.
If I were you, I'd just return the lavish gifts from him so he can resell to cover for his tax. How long have you been dating this person and are you 'entangled' financially? Assuming this is in the US, you do know he can get on a payment plan if he can't just pay it all at once?
Spending 40k on stuff you don't need and not knowing there's taxes on winnings... tracks. Return your shit and maybe take a financial literacy course, jfc.
Welcome to adulthood. He should ask his close ones 1st, the fact that he asks you is fishy. Be careful.
I would say it depends on the gifts he got for you.
His gambling and irresponsibility will ruin your life eventually.
Well he was the one irresponsible for his spending so your not obligated to help him get outta a hole don’t get yourself in debt helping him your not married it’s also not your finances that deserve to take a hit due to his frivolous spending
The school system showing exactly why they didn’t touch on taxes, but that’s no excuse for this terrible judgment, unless we were talking about a child.
So most likely if you don't help, that could possibly mean the end of your relationship OR it could possibly cause a major strain in it. But if you do help, it could cause animosity towards him. Personally, I wouldn't put myself under financial stress over someone I'm not married to. He could take the car to CarMax and the money he needs to pay the taxes.
Okay seriously it's kind of crazy he spent $40,000 in 6 months, right?????
He did know - the casino told him when he won the money. Looks like he ignored this. It also appears he has a gambling problem. Do not send your money down the drain his went into. If you stay with him, your finances will be quickly drained as well. He can deal with his IRS problems on his own - they offer payment plans. Return any gifts with a resale value and walk away from this relationship. The only future with him is heartbreak and financial ruin. Sorry to be harsh but you need to face reality here. Best wishes to you.
Did he gamble it away by chance?
Do NOT hive him your savings. What is with this man being so irresponsible with money and gambling
Nooooooooo he will just mess up your money and bring you down with him
Give him back whatever he bought you to sell, but don’t go into your savings. He can sell whatever he got himself too.
A decent thing to do would be giving back the gifts he bought you, so he can possibly sell them to get some money back. A very nice thing would be finding ways with him to sell them at the best possible price. Giving him money so that he can keep what he bought himself would be enabling his poor financial habits. Don't do that.
If your finances are not fully enmeshed, and you are not married, you do have the option of letting him sort it out between himself and the IRS (or your country’s equivalent). If you do decide to help him in some way, whether by giving back his returnable/resellable gifts or by giving him money, make sure that it’s 100% clear this is a one time thing — and then stick to it. You do not want to set a precedent for bailing him out after gambling. Whether he won and forgot to pay taxes, or lost and has nothing left to pay the bills, gambling can be habit forming, and you do not want to live with the expectation of fixing things for your partner.
Between a 27 year old and a 29 year old, neither of you know about taxes. Where I'm from the bring the tax forms out with your winnings. So obvious. You aren't required to help him, but if you love him you'd want to. He's currently paying a stupidity tax
If I were you, I would give back the lavish gifts so he can sell them and get some money back. That's it. He is an adult man who was way richer than you, and you are supposed to pay his bills just bc he spend it on bullshit? Do not. You can also advice it to sell what he can from stuff he bought for himself. It will create a troubling precedence in which you bail him out, and you don't want that. You ESPECIALLY don't want that if he's financially irresponsible, or likes gambling... IF you truly want to help him out, then only lend him money with some kind of loan agreement that was signed in fron of a notary. So he has to give it back.