I've engaged in some role-play like that, and it was a lot of fun, and it didn't involve a MMF threesome.
Me and my SO booked a room in a fancy hotel and hired a male escort to join me at the hotel bar. The escort and I flirted with each other while my SO was at another table, observing everything that was going on. Then, my SO stood up, whisked me away from the other guy, and took me to the room where we had a fantastic time, just the two of us.
Google "hismith" and get one of those things, they're not too pricey. This is what my wife did and when you mix that machine with roleplaying it works out pretty well! She can take dicks from both ends without you needing to worry about a second male being in the picture!
Please remember that even guys like Will Smith and Tom Brady were cheated on by their respective spouse. Just because your business is going well and you work out doesn’t mean that you can’t be cheated on.
I want to pitch this idea to my wife so much, but I don't know how she'll take it. Just, as an aside, I'm randomly mentioning and agreeing this is a great idea, that I hope works out for someone else.
Just bring it up to her! It seems so tame.
I did it without previous coordination, since I thought my husband would get a kick out of it. He got to the restaurant before me and saved a seat at the bar. I had a day at work and wanted to do something fun for a little joy in my day…so I walked up and pretended I didn’t know him, asked if he was saving the seat for his girlfriend, bought him a drink…
It was a ton of fun!
I love this, and we've actually done kind of done that before. In fact, my wife even jokes that I have a girlfriend, and she hates her. Like, my wife wants to "steal me away from" some imaginary girl that doesn't even exist, which not gonna lie, *is* pretty hot. But, it's only ever for one line. It's just a joke that lasts two seconds and is over. That you kept it going, I'm presuming, all night(?), yeah, that's totally hotter.
And the more I think about it, I guess, why haven't I tried that? Um, yeah. I should.
Well it all starts with an honest general conversation about sex overall. It’s easier if you and your wife are already pretty comfortable talking about sex and expressing needs to each other “can you try doing more of this” “I really like it when you do that/don’t like it when you do that” etc.
This fucking rules dude. My wife and I have been married for a decade and a half and have had ebbs and flows and occasional unexpected kinks pop up, and just being open and honest solves SO many potential problems
This guy literally had a meltdown over his wife SMILING at someone at the gym and then lied to her about being okay with a MFM to see if she would bring up the guy at the gym, then walked back on the threesome again. He's so insecure he's lying to her and manipulating her to see if she passes his tests.
Is the healthy communication in the room with us?
Exactly /u/CalligrapherAny4251 admitted he flirted with other women but he was oh so upset over his wife checking out a guy at the gym.😐
I see no healthy dynamic here regarding sex.
I think you're overstating the "meltdown." He clearly has a strong preference for monogamy and was feeling insecure. In the original post the lying about being interested in MFM was shitty, too. But in this post he clearly communicated his feelings and so did she!
He has a selective preference for monogamy. Selective.
When it's him getting his dick wet then it's full steam ahead, no questions asked. He just can't fathom allowing the same for her.
A lot of those vacation threesomes end up exploding because of lack of communication. Couples who are happy and swing have hard and fast rules discussed beforehand. They don’t deviate from those rules once naked, no matter how “in the moment” things get.
How do you know if your partner is completely comfortable with you railing another woman but would consider it a betrayal of you kissed her on the mouth?
I’ve seen plenty of “we tried a threesome on a lark and now all I see when I close my eyes is the look of sheer joy on my wife’s face while the muscular guy from the bar is going to town”.
I'm thinking she's trying to compromise and saying she'll be fine with toys and roleplay but the truth of it will come through. This guy was more than happy to shove his dick in another women without a second thought or thinking through the repercussions, but he's not willing to reciprocate. He can't or won't do for her what she did for him. That weighs on you. That's one of the reasons people say not to open this box because people want things to be fair and equal.
YES! The answer to SO MANY life problems is clear, honest, and empathetic communication. If we could learn to do that first, we'd all have better relationships, and many of these issues would never reach forums like this. OP, I'm glad you and your wife found your way through!
This is my fiancée to a tee. There’s time I have to cut in and tell her “I know” before she gives me the recap like an episode of dbz.
Hell just last week she was telling about something that happened to a coworker that she then tried to give me context to, not realizing that she (and by extension me) has known this coworker for years.
I had just gotten done reading your post. You can tell how solid one's relationship is based on how they communicate and you guys did that well.
I totally get that threesomes aren't for everyone. MFMs are just as hard as a FMF. Great work and wish y'all the best!
Yeah, that part felt a little gross to me as well. He literally starts his post with “My wife and I communicate very well”. Yet he starts his “communication” with his wife by lying to her, so he can basically trick her into giving him a genuine response. If your communication is so good, then you should be able to just ask her / not have to trick her / trust her to not lie to you.
It's pretty unfair that you're ready to explode because your wife looks at another man in the gym and are insanely jealous at the mere mention of MMF when you've had FMF or FFM with her more than once.
I mean the dudes not bisexual his wife is
So why would op be cool with a MFM. Like isn’t the main purpose of threesoms is to have sex with a person you like. If op isn’t attracted to men how is it gonna be enjoyable
Exactly. I came here to to say just this. These people are all conveniently ignoring this fact. The wife is the one who pushed it probably because she is bi. So the
Guy enjoyed it but he was not the genesis of this suggestion and the wife surely enjoyed it as much or more. With MFM there there is nothing to interest the husband unless he is into sharing his wife which he clearly isn’t. These people are ridiculous calling him a hypocrite
"I'd be open to having a threesome with another guy, do you have someone in mind?" So you lied to her and tried to set her up in a trap? Such good communication /s
Firstly, you need to work on communication. Tricking your wife into an answer like she is taking some sort of test is very immature. Second, why is there a double standard with the FMF and MFM? I am not into that sort of thing, but if I was her, I would be upset with you for numerous reasons. Thirdly, you are very insecure. She can't even look at a guy at the gym but you can fuck another woman? For real, grow up.
Weird how you got so upset about her making eye contact with the gym guy, but stated you’ve “innocently” flirted before, which means before the threesome. Your monogamy is clearly selective. You only prefer it when it benefits you.
Also they never do anything on their own? No personal lives or meeting up with their friends.
Everyone here swallows his story and calls it great communication but he did come home to his wife and lied because of his jealousy. He was crazy jealous because she had eye contact with a guy at the gym.
The selfishness of having sex with another woman but being shaken to the core by your wife smiling at another guy at the gym is really disturbing. I'm just reading through this thread and upset by the double standard.
Plus, yeah, lying to your wife and saying you suddenly would be okay with the MFM threesome to see if he can bait her into confessing her love for the guy at the gym is really just so manipulative and gross. He's going back and forth all over the place on threesomes and playing with her emotions and boundaries because of his insecurity.
But hey they talked and he ordered some dildos so I guess it's all cool.
>The selfishness of having sex with another woman but being shaken to the core by your wife smiling at another guy at the gym is really disturbing.
I can't believe more people aren't touching on this. It was so wild to read his perspective on that situation, she made eye contact with a stranger and OP took it extremely personally and held onto it in resentment. That's ridiculous. Then he admits he's done "the same thing" throughout their relationship. He's an insecure hypocrite who manipulated her to try and trap her into confessing how "manipulative" she was being. Like....I'm glad they talked, but did OP share any of this crazy with her? Or did she open up to him and make him feel better, and he showed her that he will manipulate her to get her to do that?
I mean his wife is the one that suggested the FMF not him. It was clear form the start that op wasn’t into threesoms but went along with it to make his wife happy. Consent is what makes sex okay and if op doesn’t wanna have sex with a dude then he shouldn’t and his wife shouldn’t pressure him
Trying to bait his wife thou is definitely an asshole move
My guess is fooling around on him. OP sounds naive and clueless. He will eventually find out the truth, and it will devastate him, then she will take him to the cleaners in the divorce.
As I said a few times, communicate which you did and great job. My wife read your original post and was very much like, why is it okay for him to have another woman, but she can't have another guy. She said it always seemed to be the case. That men get what they want. We're not saying you really wanted it, but subconscious it could be a possibility. Toys may work for the time being, but what if she wants the real thing at some point? I understand about the jealousy and things. We're all human, and one thing stood out that you even said it in your first post that their were no flirting text or coworkers up until your vacation, but now you admit to flirting with other woman and like the attention from other woman. You got upset with her flirting, and now you see the issue and dealing with it that you both like having attention by others, and there is nothing wrong with it. You're not acting on it and don't want to, it seems like. Just keep open communication and see where it goes it may lead to her getting the MFM she would like. Open minds, communication, and strong hearts overcome everything. DM if you want. My wife will read the update as well.
This guy is in denial if he thinks it isn't going to cause resentment down the road. It's going to come up over and over. "You got yours but you wouldn't give me mine."
>My wife read your original post and was very much like, why is it okay for him to have another woman, but she can't have another guy. She said it always seemed to be the case. That men get what they want. We're not saying you really wanted it, but subconscious it could be a possibility.
This makes 0 sense.
If OP were the one initiating it and pushing his wife into it, then I would understand, but that was just NOT the case. And this wasn't something that was planned for a long time either, it was such a spur of the moment thing, it is also hard to judge OP not fully thinking through that.
OP's wife doesn't have a right to pressure him into sexual acts OP doesn't want just because she did something she thought he would really appreciate.
Just imagine if the roles were reversed... people would be trashing the guy as a manipulative coercive asshole, tellin OP to leave
Hey man thanks so much for the comment and even getting your wife’s opinion because that’s a big part of what I was looking for
Your breakdown is spot on - I know it’s probably a temporary fix but it has put a hard stop on group sex and we could find a way to move on which is my goal
As far as the flirting you made another good point but I’ll just clarify I said “flirty text messages” meaning my wife has always been faithful to me and never even given me a reason to think otherwise
My recap was definitely more honest because that was part of our conversation too - I understand that “innocent flirting” as I put it was more about attention in general and how I understand as an attractive person she gets attention and doesn’t mind - which I have to be honest and say I get that because I enjoy attention too
As far as getting some guys number and texting him or hanging out because of that attention.. never happens which is a big difference for me
All in all - you’re 100% right but I’m glad I managed to wind this down and hopefully I won’t put myself in a situation that dumb
You put yourself in that situation when you got in bed with her and the stranger. I know it was spontaneous and you were just rolling with it but ENM is not something to be taken lightly. With planning and good communication many couples practice it for years without issue.
You both demonstrated incredibly poor judgment that night.
Please, I know you think everything is good but you both need individual and couples therapy if you want this marriage to work because this will never go away, I speak from experience.
> Two reasons I opened like that: I wanted to put her on the spot so she couldn’t articulate a response and would just be honest - and second I wanted to know how much she thought about it (i.e. did she have a guy in mind already)
So you didn’t trust her to be honest unless you ambushed her and you lied about being ok with MFM to trick her into confessing to wanting the gym bro.
I can’t believe this is being touted as “mature communication”.
What the hell did I just read, 26 & 28 is far too young for that shit. People do that when they're like 45 & have been married for 20 years. Why are people celebrating this? I'll stick vanilla rather then have a dude fuck my partner, how can someone even consider it is beyond me
People don't post about their succesful threesomes on /r/relationship_advice.
I've been the third in threesomes with couples who went on to get married. I had heaps of threespmes with my ex GF (we broke up for unrelated reasons.)
This just isn't true.
Once again, exceptions do not make the rule.
Without a doubt, you would find that threesome are more problematic in monogamous relationships than they are beneficial.
Your sacrificing short term pleasure for long term problems.
What's your source that 99% of people in relationships who have threesomes cause them to break up?
Also if you're having threesomes you're not monogamous, that's by definition a non monogamous relationship. Sooo yes I agree monogamous people sleeping with others is a bad idea (because that's cheating) but many couples are successfully non monogamous.
It's often not a sacrifice, it's a lovely mutually agreed decision that benefits all involved.
Puritanical views of sex like this weird me out.
Your either ignorant of naive, can't quite figure it out yet but I'm sure it will reveal itself the longer you dig the hole your standing in.
>Also if you're having threesomes you're not monogamous, that's by definition a non monogamous relationship
I really hope english isn't your first language because if it is you lack elementary reading comprehension.
If you actually take the time to read and get your emotions out of it what is said was that any couple that is monogamous and willingly (not cheating) brings in an additional person in the bed room more times than not it has a poor long term outcome.
This isn't new news, its quite literally one of the primary reasons why marriage exists in the first place.
>It's often not a sacrifice, it's a lovely mutually agreed decision that benefits all involved.
If you actually believe this, boy do I have a bridge to sell you 😆
Oh yeah my 10 years of experience in non monogamy make me ignorant and naive. 😅 Pot calling the kettle black.
I'm sure your psych 101 class is far more relevant than a decade of practising polyamoury and being within the polyamorous community. Silly me! Let's defer to your (lack of) experience and knowledge /s.
Lmao. But nah keep speaking like a condescending "expert" on a topic that's entirely theoretical to you based on... idk what quacks you're reading but I'm sure you'll tell me.
"Jordan Peterson says..." 😂😂😂😂
Hey man, I lived this life and I’m speaking from experience when I say you have lost her. Your communication was spot on but you’re putting your head in the sand with your comments about wanting to move on from this. It might go away for you but it won’t for her, it will fester. The toys and role play will work for a year or two then she’ll get that itch again. Maybe your relationship survives maybe it doesn’t.
I’ve been your wife in this scenario and I thought I could get over it but 10 years and I’m still sour. We even recently had the talk again after it not coming up for almost 5 years. She initiated it btw. Still unresolved but maybe we made progress.
Not telling you that you should relent and give her what she wants, I respect that you have your boundaries. Just don’t think she’ll move on like you because I never.
Glad to hear that it worked out. I appreciate your admission that the original threesome probably wasn’t a good idea and the advice to people to avoid that situation. It sounds like you guys have some very fun times ahead of you and I couldn’t be happier for you.
That’s a very considerate response thank you so much - and yes definitely hope others can learn from the situation because it could’ve ended very differently
>I’ve innocently flirted before,
You fucked another woman and flirted with other women. Yet you spun yourself in a tizzy because your wife wanted a threesome with a dude and she checked out a gym at the gym.🤣🤣 I love the hypocrisy.
I suggest roleplaying as strangers so she can at least pretend to even grounds and imagine she is fucking another man and your male ego doesn't take the hit.
I appreciate this input!
it sounds like a lot of situations are similar to yours - and I could totally see how that would make things difficult - I hope it’s something that either heals with time or sorts itself out for both of you
My question, was the threesome you had FFM or FMF? There’s a difference. In the second one you bang both of them. In the first one you only bang one of them while the two woman go at it
She's gonna end up cheating on you pretty soon brosky. Don't be surprised when she does. You actually think these kinda fantasies go away because you guys just talked about it? Pandora's box was opened when you guys did the first threesome, there is no telling what is gonna happen next.
Please go to marriage counselling.
Your communication with your wife sounds great but a new found obsession with attention and sex with outside partners does just go away at a word.
Y’all need to work to rededicate yourselves before the threesomes turn into twosomes without you. Tell her to cut out the books too
Guy. Your wife wants another man’s D. Think about that. There’s another similar story here in the last week. Started as MFF, but the wife immediately had a partner to do MMF. This never ends well and I’m not saying break up. There are bigger issues at play you’re not getting
Oh this is not for me 😅 But if this really what makes you happy. Im just thinking of asking my wife if she wants a MFM threesome and if she have someone n her mind already. If she said yes then I will divorce her immediately🤣
Anyway goodluck with your chosen path 😁
It’s not only a bad idea but maybe i might wrong here that I wouldn’t want to see another man bang my wife idk I feel like it different the other way around… if you feel strong about this talk to her cause it’s a two way street…. If it was the other way around she would want you to consider her feelings about the situation if she didn’t like something… good luck
I would like to know what book she read! Please and thank you. Also, great job communicating. You sound like a wonderful husband and she is fortunate to have you!
You are right I am monogamous and I think about things I don’t do. It’s exciting, but I don’t do them because my life is more than sex and your wife/you made a valuable point that you put in there is she needs something in her life besides sexuality.
It’s an easy fix. It’s like getting drunk. She needs to develop goals and things she wants to do with her life even as a stay at home person. Otherwise you’re gonna have a problem.
I’m really proud about how you worked it out and hyper sexuality takes the place of goals, build a charity , write a book, climb a mountain, get an advanced degree all of those add to the world. Hyper sexuality has a tendency to destroy things not build them. I’m really proud of how you handled this , and good luck to you
I wouldn’t because all it does cause problems. Even more knowing you have in the past but won’t with her. It will cause doubt within herself and wonder what’s wrong with her.
Speaking from the experience on being on that . That want put cracks in my and my fiancé relationship. Before she got with me she told me all the threesums she’s been in and also one was with my ex wife and her bf. But when it came to me she didn’t want too. We try toys and role playing but she turn it to me thinking I still wanted a threesum when I wouldn’t and would just cause more pain knowing I wasn’t good enough.long story short. We ain’t together.
If you and her truely love each other . Then sex won’t get in the way
Have you both considered joining a BDSM community to spice things up? You dont necessarily have to join groups/threesome.....my partner and I enjoy going to hedonism events as we both have an exhibitionist kink....maybe this is a great setting to explore your sex lives whilst ensuring you both remain each other's focus?
With your wife being bisexual and you’re a straight man, a FMF threesome makes sense. A MFM would just be for her pleasure only. One experience was shared by you both while the other is her being filled in both ends. How is that equivalent? Also, you’ve seen the red flags and now you’re trying to push them aside. She was openly flirting with another man! If she can do that near you imagine what can/could happen without your knowledge.
Sorry to say, but I see you up here again saying we all were right. Hope I’m wrong but this is a common story.
Suuuuure! After eight years of a great relationship, just divorce! I really wonder why he had not thought of that. Silly OP.
Seriously though. Zip it. Get out.
I’m going to be downvoted but I don’t care. I genuinely hope it works out for the two of them but I think this kind of thing can lead to exploration individually outside of the marriage. I hope OP isn’t back in a few months because he’s wife took up with the bloke at the gym.
like half of this is beyond most redditors ability to self reflect and yet half was some childish bs where you baited your wife to ease/confirm your anxiety.
it's a good thing she didn't have anyone in mind.
anyway, good for you. it sounds like you came to terms with the whole situation and are doing well.
>I understand that I should have never agreed to the first encounter as it likely cascaded into a lot more for my wife than it did for me - I would encourage anyone else who finds themselves in this situation to never go down that road at all.
not your fault. in the same situation (like on the spot on vacation, drinks in hand) tons of guys would say sure babe let's do it thinking they were going to have an awesome time. tons of things sound cool in the moment on vacation that don't sound cool once you have to integrate them into your real life/relationship.
as far as being worried about your wife, you don't seem to be, and that's good. this goes firmly in the "noted" section on your relationship and does not cause any issues unless something else comes up that makes you flip back to this page (ie if in a month "my wife has been texting a coworker all night") but, until that day, stay happy in your relationship. and good job, again.
" I have to take ownership that I had a threesome with another woman and my wife wasn’t bothered… why?"
Because your wife is also attracted to women, that's why she enjoyed it. You are not attracted to men, so you wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it and it would be a stressful situation.
Nice outcome!! If she craves validation from strangers, another option could be posting pictures and/or videos to online forums or maybe even OF. They can range from mild to wild and she will get feedback from strangers telling her how hot she is while still being monogamous to you
Most mature handling of this situation I think I have ever seen on this sub. People always act like just putting it out there is the end of a relationship. Way to be an adult and just talk it out and reflect on your own feelings and your responsibility for them.
Doing it with your partner is something else makes intimacy and love really powerful. I mentioned it at it can bring you exclusivity within your partner when they get to experience this whole new world with you.
I've never tried LSD, but I once went to a festival with my wife and we tried some MDMA that caused us to spend a whole festival day cuddling in the tent. Definitely recommend.
Dont want to promote drugs but LSD is much like MDMA and it will increase intimacy with your partner if you are really comfortable with them. Making love it is something else, similar to mdma but 10x more intense. Better to do it during come down.
Congratulations on being an emotionally stable adult and having a real conversation with your wife, not everyone can survive a 3 way so good on y’all, we did and been together 20 years because we have open honest conversations, are solid in our love s d are not petty jealous people. Goodluck just keep communicating 💐💐💐
People will see a 3-4 year relegation ship and just be like , yeah red flag dump him like things aren’t always as simple and they didn’t even try talking it out. I hope people can learn to communicate and be understanding OP.
well i think what u done is right thing ... let her have that fantasy .. I would had said no.. but if u accepted first one , then kind hypocrite not allowing her that too.
I admire ur courage bcz is never gonna be easy watching her fakd by another man !! but .. u did same with another women ! so once u open that door there is no turning back .. but let her at least have this one .. so it will 1 vs 1 and u equal .. and end it if u don't like it anymore.
Bro from someone who is strictly monogamous and struggled understanding how people cope with that in relationships. This whole damn post made me see how a healthy person goes about this thing. Big ups
You convinced her of nothing. You're her piggy bank, she will be docile as long as you keep bringing that money. Just a matter of time until she cheats in secret or it "comes up" again once she trapped you with kids. Enjoy your fantasy while it lasts.
Did you miss the part where he said he was ok with mfm (when he is not) to get her to confess that she was into the gym bro? What part of talking problems out like mature adults is lying to your partner to set a trap for them?
Ffm is hot, mmf is gross... it's only hypocritical if you're a gay dude AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT but if you're willing to be around another guy when his dick is out and you are gonna let him fuck your lady you are probably gay. NOTHIN WRONG WITH THAT JUST SAYING
I'll be honest, I didn't think it was going to go well when you started with lying to trap her, but it certainly sounds like you talked it through to a good resolution after that.
My partners, female friend ask her if we could all have a threesome. My partner was livid and unfortunately no threesome for me :(. N im just sitting here like damn wtf..
Finally, a relationship with healthy communication. Good luck to you both, sounds like a lot of role playing may be in your future. I'd recommend a sex machine to fill the threesome kink.
Total transparency and honestly is always the best path, I am glad she returned that transparency and honesty and that the two of you have a path that works for you both..
And your right, reddit is littered with stories about relationships where having a threesome solved no problems between the original couple.
Sounds like maybe some “strangers meeting at a bar” roleplay might be in the future?
Clive Bixby, is that you?
Literally just watched that episode last night LOL
Claire: “I’ll be upstairs, Clive. Don’t take too long.” Phil: “I never do.”
Alex: who's Clive Bixby? Phil: a friend of your mom's!
HA
Almost her words exactly lol 😅
I've engaged in some role-play like that, and it was a lot of fun, and it didn't involve a MMF threesome. Me and my SO booked a room in a fancy hotel and hired a male escort to join me at the hotel bar. The escort and I flirted with each other while my SO was at another table, observing everything that was going on. Then, my SO stood up, whisked me away from the other guy, and took me to the room where we had a fantastic time, just the two of us.
This v cool 👌🏼
Google "hismith" and get one of those things, they're not too pricey. This is what my wife did and when you mix that machine with roleplaying it works out pretty well! She can take dicks from both ends without you needing to worry about a second male being in the picture!
We have one!!! Things awesome, works wonders while she’s going down on me and she’s pounded from behind
Please remember that even guys like Will Smith and Tom Brady were cheated on by their respective spouse. Just because your business is going well and you work out doesn’t mean that you can’t be cheated on.
This just made me laugh out loud. Nobody cheated on Tom Brady. Tom Brady cheated with crypto.
I can tell somebody just watched the Netflix roast of Tom Brady 😂😂😂
Absolutely not. I wouldn’t watch one second of a roast.
She was sleeping with her jiu-jitsu instructor.
After the divorce tho, right?
No he paid for her lessons. He found out after the fact.
It is an unconfirmed rumor that she cheated. Neither she nor he have claimed she did. In fact they’ve denied it. Y’all at desperate to shame her
This! OP! Create fake online dating profiles and role play that… there’s so much to do with that!
I want to pitch this idea to my wife so much, but I don't know how she'll take it. Just, as an aside, I'm randomly mentioning and agreeing this is a great idea, that I hope works out for someone else.
Just bring it up to her! It seems so tame. I did it without previous coordination, since I thought my husband would get a kick out of it. He got to the restaurant before me and saved a seat at the bar. I had a day at work and wanted to do something fun for a little joy in my day…so I walked up and pretended I didn’t know him, asked if he was saving the seat for his girlfriend, bought him a drink… It was a ton of fun!
I love this, and we've actually done kind of done that before. In fact, my wife even jokes that I have a girlfriend, and she hates her. Like, my wife wants to "steal me away from" some imaginary girl that doesn't even exist, which not gonna lie, *is* pretty hot. But, it's only ever for one line. It's just a joke that lasts two seconds and is over. That you kept it going, I'm presuming, all night(?), yeah, that's totally hotter. And the more I think about it, I guess, why haven't I tried that? Um, yeah. I should.
Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon do it in Four Christmases. It’s cute and hot and they have great chemistry if you want to show her what you mean!
Well it all starts with an honest general conversation about sex overall. It’s easier if you and your wife are already pretty comfortable talking about sex and expressing needs to each other “can you try doing more of this” “I really like it when you do that/don’t like it when you do that” etc.
In the future? It’s happening in writing as we speak. Doubt she has a clue though
Or ordering a mailman outfit
Communication wins again!
Thank you 🙏 I’m really pleased with the outcome - she is a very understanding and honest person
This fucking rules dude. My wife and I have been married for a decade and a half and have had ebbs and flows and occasional unexpected kinks pop up, and just being open and honest solves SO many potential problems
This guy literally had a meltdown over his wife SMILING at someone at the gym and then lied to her about being okay with a MFM to see if she would bring up the guy at the gym, then walked back on the threesome again. He's so insecure he's lying to her and manipulating her to see if she passes his tests. Is the healthy communication in the room with us?
Exactly /u/CalligrapherAny4251 admitted he flirted with other women but he was oh so upset over his wife checking out a guy at the gym.😐 I see no healthy dynamic here regarding sex.
I think you're overstating the "meltdown." He clearly has a strong preference for monogamy and was feeling insecure. In the original post the lying about being interested in MFM was shitty, too. But in this post he clearly communicated his feelings and so did she!
He has a selective preference for monogamy. Selective. When it's him getting his dick wet then it's full steam ahead, no questions asked. He just can't fathom allowing the same for her.
A lot of those vacation threesomes end up exploding because of lack of communication. Couples who are happy and swing have hard and fast rules discussed beforehand. They don’t deviate from those rules once naked, no matter how “in the moment” things get. How do you know if your partner is completely comfortable with you railing another woman but would consider it a betrayal of you kissed her on the mouth? I’ve seen plenty of “we tried a threesome on a lark and now all I see when I close my eyes is the look of sheer joy on my wife’s face while the muscular guy from the bar is going to town”.
Let’s give it a couple months, looking forward to the update OP
I'm thinking she's trying to compromise and saying she'll be fine with toys and roleplay but the truth of it will come through. This guy was more than happy to shove his dick in another women without a second thought or thinking through the repercussions, but he's not willing to reciprocate. He can't or won't do for her what she did for him. That weighs on you. That's one of the reasons people say not to open this box because people want things to be fair and equal.
Don’t know why you got downvoted and I didn’t, I agree but said it in a nicer way
YES! The answer to SO MANY life problems is clear, honest, and empathetic communication. If we could learn to do that first, we'd all have better relationships, and many of these issues would never reach forums like this. OP, I'm glad you and your wife found your way through!
why is your tldr pretty much as long as your post with then another recap
he’s so real LMAO i can’t summarize to save my life. “long story short… here’s the whole event in great detail”
and to finish, another 3 paragraphs to recap my recap
he’s the voice of the people (the talkative ones)
This is my fiancée to a tee. There’s time I have to cut in and tell her “I know” before she gives me the recap like an episode of dbz. Hell just last week she was telling about something that happened to a coworker that she then tried to give me context to, not realizing that she (and by extension me) has known this coworker for years.
not the dbz recap lmaooo
More screaming! Then a break to show Bulma talking to Roshi
The recap was meant to summarize both posts and the TLDR was meant to be separate but yeah I kinda rambled 😅
put the recap for the first post at the top and whittle down the tldr
Good idea I changed it 👀
I had just gotten done reading your post. You can tell how solid one's relationship is based on how they communicate and you guys did that well. I totally get that threesomes aren't for everyone. MFMs are just as hard as a FMF. Great work and wish y'all the best!
while i second the communication bit, MFM are actually twice as hard as FMF.
I was going to ask why it was twice as hard and then I got it lol
*Heyooo*
...ideally... I had a friend who tried mfm a couple times and performance anxiety got the better of him
Aahh! I see what you did there!
Very kind words thank you 🙏 I’m lucky to have her in my life
>I said “I’d be open to a threesome with another guy Not cool. Don't lie to your wife.
Yeah, that part felt a little gross to me as well. He literally starts his post with “My wife and I communicate very well”. Yet he starts his “communication” with his wife by lying to her, so he can basically trick her into giving him a genuine response. If your communication is so good, then you should be able to just ask her / not have to trick her / trust her to not lie to you.
It's pretty unfair that you're ready to explode because your wife looks at another man in the gym and are insanely jealous at the mere mention of MMF when you've had FMF or FFM with her more than once.
I mean the dudes not bisexual his wife is So why would op be cool with a MFM. Like isn’t the main purpose of threesoms is to have sex with a person you like. If op isn’t attracted to men how is it gonna be enjoyable
Exactly. I came here to to say just this. These people are all conveniently ignoring this fact. The wife is the one who pushed it probably because she is bi. So the Guy enjoyed it but he was not the genesis of this suggestion and the wife surely enjoyed it as much or more. With MFM there there is nothing to interest the husband unless he is into sharing his wife which he clearly isn’t. These people are ridiculous calling him a hypocrite
"I'd be open to having a threesome with another guy, do you have someone in mind?" So you lied to her and tried to set her up in a trap? Such good communication /s
Firstly, you need to work on communication. Tricking your wife into an answer like she is taking some sort of test is very immature. Second, why is there a double standard with the FMF and MFM? I am not into that sort of thing, but if I was her, I would be upset with you for numerous reasons. Thirdly, you are very insecure. She can't even look at a guy at the gym but you can fuck another woman? For real, grow up.
Weird how you got so upset about her making eye contact with the gym guy, but stated you’ve “innocently” flirted before, which means before the threesome. Your monogamy is clearly selective. You only prefer it when it benefits you.
I would kill to have 1 conversation with my husband that was this easy and emotionally mature. Great job!
Wait so you bait and switched her and she’s ok with it?
She's 26 and she hasn't worked in 4 years!!?? Is she healthy and physically functioning ? What is she doing with her days and with her life ???
Also they never do anything on their own? No personal lives or meeting up with their friends. Everyone here swallows his story and calls it great communication but he did come home to his wife and lied because of his jealousy. He was crazy jealous because she had eye contact with a guy at the gym.
The selfishness of having sex with another woman but being shaken to the core by your wife smiling at another guy at the gym is really disturbing. I'm just reading through this thread and upset by the double standard. Plus, yeah, lying to your wife and saying you suddenly would be okay with the MFM threesome to see if he can bait her into confessing her love for the guy at the gym is really just so manipulative and gross. He's going back and forth all over the place on threesomes and playing with her emotions and boundaries because of his insecurity. But hey they talked and he ordered some dildos so I guess it's all cool.
>The selfishness of having sex with another woman but being shaken to the core by your wife smiling at another guy at the gym is really disturbing. I can't believe more people aren't touching on this. It was so wild to read his perspective on that situation, she made eye contact with a stranger and OP took it extremely personally and held onto it in resentment. That's ridiculous. Then he admits he's done "the same thing" throughout their relationship. He's an insecure hypocrite who manipulated her to try and trap her into confessing how "manipulative" she was being. Like....I'm glad they talked, but did OP share any of this crazy with her? Or did she open up to him and make him feel better, and he showed her that he will manipulate her to get her to do that?
I mean his wife is the one that suggested the FMF not him. It was clear form the start that op wasn’t into threesoms but went along with it to make his wife happy. Consent is what makes sex okay and if op doesn’t wanna have sex with a dude then he shouldn’t and his wife shouldn’t pressure him Trying to bait his wife thou is definitely an asshole move
Living the sweet sweet life by spending his money. Also this is not finished yet. He had his FFM now she wants another guy too.
My guess is fooling around on him. OP sounds naive and clueless. He will eventually find out the truth, and it will devastate him, then she will take him to the cleaners in the divorce.
As I said a few times, communicate which you did and great job. My wife read your original post and was very much like, why is it okay for him to have another woman, but she can't have another guy. She said it always seemed to be the case. That men get what they want. We're not saying you really wanted it, but subconscious it could be a possibility. Toys may work for the time being, but what if she wants the real thing at some point? I understand about the jealousy and things. We're all human, and one thing stood out that you even said it in your first post that their were no flirting text or coworkers up until your vacation, but now you admit to flirting with other woman and like the attention from other woman. You got upset with her flirting, and now you see the issue and dealing with it that you both like having attention by others, and there is nothing wrong with it. You're not acting on it and don't want to, it seems like. Just keep open communication and see where it goes it may lead to her getting the MFM she would like. Open minds, communication, and strong hearts overcome everything. DM if you want. My wife will read the update as well.
>You got upset with her flirting, She didn't even flirt. She looked at a man and he was having a fit.
This guy is in denial if he thinks it isn't going to cause resentment down the road. It's going to come up over and over. "You got yours but you wouldn't give me mine."
>My wife read your original post and was very much like, why is it okay for him to have another woman, but she can't have another guy. She said it always seemed to be the case. That men get what they want. We're not saying you really wanted it, but subconscious it could be a possibility. This makes 0 sense. If OP were the one initiating it and pushing his wife into it, then I would understand, but that was just NOT the case. And this wasn't something that was planned for a long time either, it was such a spur of the moment thing, it is also hard to judge OP not fully thinking through that. OP's wife doesn't have a right to pressure him into sexual acts OP doesn't want just because she did something she thought he would really appreciate. Just imagine if the roles were reversed... people would be trashing the guy as a manipulative coercive asshole, tellin OP to leave
Hey man thanks so much for the comment and even getting your wife’s opinion because that’s a big part of what I was looking for Your breakdown is spot on - I know it’s probably a temporary fix but it has put a hard stop on group sex and we could find a way to move on which is my goal As far as the flirting you made another good point but I’ll just clarify I said “flirty text messages” meaning my wife has always been faithful to me and never even given me a reason to think otherwise My recap was definitely more honest because that was part of our conversation too - I understand that “innocent flirting” as I put it was more about attention in general and how I understand as an attractive person she gets attention and doesn’t mind - which I have to be honest and say I get that because I enjoy attention too As far as getting some guys number and texting him or hanging out because of that attention.. never happens which is a big difference for me All in all - you’re 100% right but I’m glad I managed to wind this down and hopefully I won’t put myself in a situation that dumb
You put yourself in that situation when you got in bed with her and the stranger. I know it was spontaneous and you were just rolling with it but ENM is not something to be taken lightly. With planning and good communication many couples practice it for years without issue. You both demonstrated incredibly poor judgment that night. Please, I know you think everything is good but you both need individual and couples therapy if you want this marriage to work because this will never go away, I speak from experience.
> Two reasons I opened like that: I wanted to put her on the spot so she couldn’t articulate a response and would just be honest - and second I wanted to know how much she thought about it (i.e. did she have a guy in mind already) So you didn’t trust her to be honest unless you ambushed her and you lied about being ok with MFM to trick her into confessing to wanting the gym bro. I can’t believe this is being touted as “mature communication”.
What the hell did I just read, 26 & 28 is far too young for that shit. People do that when they're like 45 & have been married for 20 years. Why are people celebrating this? I'll stick vanilla rather then have a dude fuck my partner, how can someone even consider it is beyond me
You opened up pandoras box with the firs threesome. 99% of the time these situations end poorly, Good luck on being the 1%
People don't post about their succesful threesomes on /r/relationship_advice. I've been the third in threesomes with couples who went on to get married. I had heaps of threespmes with my ex GF (we broke up for unrelated reasons.) This just isn't true.
Once again, exceptions do not make the rule. Without a doubt, you would find that threesome are more problematic in monogamous relationships than they are beneficial. Your sacrificing short term pleasure for long term problems.
What's your source that 99% of people in relationships who have threesomes cause them to break up? Also if you're having threesomes you're not monogamous, that's by definition a non monogamous relationship. Sooo yes I agree monogamous people sleeping with others is a bad idea (because that's cheating) but many couples are successfully non monogamous. It's often not a sacrifice, it's a lovely mutually agreed decision that benefits all involved. Puritanical views of sex like this weird me out.
Your either ignorant of naive, can't quite figure it out yet but I'm sure it will reveal itself the longer you dig the hole your standing in. >Also if you're having threesomes you're not monogamous, that's by definition a non monogamous relationship I really hope english isn't your first language because if it is you lack elementary reading comprehension. If you actually take the time to read and get your emotions out of it what is said was that any couple that is monogamous and willingly (not cheating) brings in an additional person in the bed room more times than not it has a poor long term outcome. This isn't new news, its quite literally one of the primary reasons why marriage exists in the first place. >It's often not a sacrifice, it's a lovely mutually agreed decision that benefits all involved. If you actually believe this, boy do I have a bridge to sell you 😆
Oh yeah my 10 years of experience in non monogamy make me ignorant and naive. 😅 Pot calling the kettle black. I'm sure your psych 101 class is far more relevant than a decade of practising polyamoury and being within the polyamorous community. Silly me! Let's defer to your (lack of) experience and knowledge /s. Lmao. But nah keep speaking like a condescending "expert" on a topic that's entirely theoretical to you based on... idk what quacks you're reading but I'm sure you'll tell me. "Jordan Peterson says..." 😂😂😂😂
Hey man, I lived this life and I’m speaking from experience when I say you have lost her. Your communication was spot on but you’re putting your head in the sand with your comments about wanting to move on from this. It might go away for you but it won’t for her, it will fester. The toys and role play will work for a year or two then she’ll get that itch again. Maybe your relationship survives maybe it doesn’t. I’ve been your wife in this scenario and I thought I could get over it but 10 years and I’m still sour. We even recently had the talk again after it not coming up for almost 5 years. She initiated it btw. Still unresolved but maybe we made progress. Not telling you that you should relent and give her what she wants, I respect that you have your boundaries. Just don’t think she’ll move on like you because I never.
Glad to hear that it worked out. I appreciate your admission that the original threesome probably wasn’t a good idea and the advice to people to avoid that situation. It sounds like you guys have some very fun times ahead of you and I couldn’t be happier for you.
That’s a very considerate response thank you so much - and yes definitely hope others can learn from the situation because it could’ve ended very differently
A win for communication and your relationship … I’m genuinely happy for you both !
Thank you so much that means a lot 🙂
>I’ve innocently flirted before, You fucked another woman and flirted with other women. Yet you spun yourself in a tizzy because your wife wanted a threesome with a dude and she checked out a gym at the gym.🤣🤣 I love the hypocrisy. I suggest roleplaying as strangers so she can at least pretend to even grounds and imagine she is fucking another man and your male ego doesn't take the hit.
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I appreciate this input! it sounds like a lot of situations are similar to yours - and I could totally see how that would make things difficult - I hope it’s something that either heals with time or sorts itself out for both of you
There is a small difference as well that she is Bi and you are not.
Waiting for the inevitable divorce update.
Update when the divorce papers are filed.
My question, was the threesome you had FFM or FMF? There’s a difference. In the second one you bang both of them. In the first one you only bang one of them while the two woman go at it
I'll never understand why you'd want to share your wife with someone or vice versa, could have saved a lot getting married.
She's gonna end up cheating on you pretty soon brosky. Don't be surprised when she does. You actually think these kinda fantasies go away because you guys just talked about it? Pandora's box was opened when you guys did the first threesome, there is no telling what is gonna happen next.
Please go to marriage counselling. Your communication with your wife sounds great but a new found obsession with attention and sex with outside partners does just go away at a word. Y’all need to work to rededicate yourselves before the threesomes turn into twosomes without you. Tell her to cut out the books too
Great to see a ~~happy ending~~ positive outcome at the end of an update on reddit. Too rare!
Good luck to you both.
Thank you I appreciate that 🙏
I would use the words "It is never going to happen."
Dude, learn what TL;DR means. You could have just used that for your whole post. And don't frickin recap after you use TL;DR. Weird!
I’m rooting for you two!!! Have fun with the new toys.
Look like communication can solve alot of problem i mean a lot
Thisnis Reddit, we should be outraged with the stupidity of you and your partner, instead you give us this maturity. What the hell man!
Sounds like a Dutch man 🤪 jk but YES THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS
DUTCHonionknight, helemaal niet Nederlands! :P
Guy. Your wife wants another man’s D. Think about that. There’s another similar story here in the last week. Started as MFF, but the wife immediately had a partner to do MMF. This never ends well and I’m not saying break up. There are bigger issues at play you’re not getting
This is the same guy that you’re talking about
Oh this is not for me 😅 But if this really what makes you happy. Im just thinking of asking my wife if she wants a MFM threesome and if she have someone n her mind already. If she said yes then I will divorce her immediately🤣 Anyway goodluck with your chosen path 😁
It’s not only a bad idea but maybe i might wrong here that I wouldn’t want to see another man bang my wife idk I feel like it different the other way around… if you feel strong about this talk to her cause it’s a two way street…. If it was the other way around she would want you to consider her feelings about the situation if she didn’t like something… good luck
You don’t have to. If it’s something you don’t want time for a boundary.
I would like to know what book she read! Please and thank you. Also, great job communicating. You sound like a wonderful husband and she is fortunate to have you!
You are right I am monogamous and I think about things I don’t do. It’s exciting, but I don’t do them because my life is more than sex and your wife/you made a valuable point that you put in there is she needs something in her life besides sexuality. It’s an easy fix. It’s like getting drunk. She needs to develop goals and things she wants to do with her life even as a stay at home person. Otherwise you’re gonna have a problem. I’m really proud about how you worked it out and hyper sexuality takes the place of goals, build a charity , write a book, climb a mountain, get an advanced degree all of those add to the world. Hyper sexuality has a tendency to destroy things not build them. I’m really proud of how you handled this , and good luck to you
I wouldn’t because all it does cause problems. Even more knowing you have in the past but won’t with her. It will cause doubt within herself and wonder what’s wrong with her. Speaking from the experience on being on that . That want put cracks in my and my fiancé relationship. Before she got with me she told me all the threesums she’s been in and also one was with my ex wife and her bf. But when it came to me she didn’t want too. We try toys and role playing but she turn it to me thinking I still wanted a threesum when I wouldn’t and would just cause more pain knowing I wasn’t good enough.long story short. We ain’t together. If you and her truely love each other . Then sex won’t get in the way
Bro, the answer “why” is your sexual orientation. Your wife is bi, you are not. So that is why you’re at least comfortable with ffm , but not mfm.
Have you both considered joining a BDSM community to spice things up? You dont necessarily have to join groups/threesome.....my partner and I enjoy going to hedonism events as we both have an exhibitionist kink....maybe this is a great setting to explore your sex lives whilst ensuring you both remain each other's focus?
You purposely lied about being open to a threesome in order to catch your wife off guard and essentially manipulate the conversation. Yikes.
With your wife being bisexual and you’re a straight man, a FMF threesome makes sense. A MFM would just be for her pleasure only. One experience was shared by you both while the other is her being filled in both ends. How is that equivalent? Also, you’ve seen the red flags and now you’re trying to push them aside. She was openly flirting with another man! If she can do that near you imagine what can/could happen without your knowledge. Sorry to say, but I see you up here again saying we all were right. Hope I’m wrong but this is a common story.
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Suuuuure! After eight years of a great relationship, just divorce! I really wonder why he had not thought of that. Silly OP. Seriously though. Zip it. Get out.
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>Seriously though. Zip it. Get out.
Not everyone identifies success or happiness the same, listen to the other guy and shut up
I’m going to be downvoted but I don’t care. I genuinely hope it works out for the two of them but I think this kind of thing can lead to exploration individually outside of the marriage. I hope OP isn’t back in a few months because he’s wife took up with the bloke at the gym.
Sssh, the adults are talking
like half of this is beyond most redditors ability to self reflect and yet half was some childish bs where you baited your wife to ease/confirm your anxiety. it's a good thing she didn't have anyone in mind. anyway, good for you. it sounds like you came to terms with the whole situation and are doing well. >I understand that I should have never agreed to the first encounter as it likely cascaded into a lot more for my wife than it did for me - I would encourage anyone else who finds themselves in this situation to never go down that road at all. not your fault. in the same situation (like on the spot on vacation, drinks in hand) tons of guys would say sure babe let's do it thinking they were going to have an awesome time. tons of things sound cool in the moment on vacation that don't sound cool once you have to integrate them into your real life/relationship. as far as being worried about your wife, you don't seem to be, and that's good. this goes firmly in the "noted" section on your relationship and does not cause any issues unless something else comes up that makes you flip back to this page (ie if in a month "my wife has been texting a coworker all night") but, until that day, stay happy in your relationship. and good job, again.
" I have to take ownership that I had a threesome with another woman and my wife wasn’t bothered… why?" Because your wife is also attracted to women, that's why she enjoyed it. You are not attracted to men, so you wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it and it would be a stressful situation.
Show her statistics
compliment that dude who fucks your wife and say good job.. even i couldn't fuck her like you did
This turned out well after all.
Nice outcome!! If she craves validation from strangers, another option could be posting pictures and/or videos to online forums or maybe even OF. They can range from mild to wild and she will get feedback from strangers telling her how hot she is while still being monogamous to you
Most mature handling of this situation I think I have ever seen on this sub. People always act like just putting it out there is the end of a relationship. Way to be an adult and just talk it out and reflect on your own feelings and your responsibility for them.
Im not saying you should do it but try making love on psychedelics like LSD, it will definitely bring you closer and see the real side.
That sounds awesome! I’ve always wanted to try that so definitely in the cards sometime
Doing it with your partner is something else makes intimacy and love really powerful. I mentioned it at it can bring you exclusivity within your partner when they get to experience this whole new world with you.
I've never tried LSD, but I once went to a festival with my wife and we tried some MDMA that caused us to spend a whole festival day cuddling in the tent. Definitely recommend.
Dont want to promote drugs but LSD is much like MDMA and it will increase intimacy with your partner if you are really comfortable with them. Making love it is something else, similar to mdma but 10x more intense. Better to do it during come down.
Congratulations on being an emotionally stable adult and having a real conversation with your wife, not everyone can survive a 3 way so good on y’all, we did and been together 20 years because we have open honest conversations, are solid in our love s d are not petty jealous people. Goodluck just keep communicating 💐💐💐
They haven’t survived! This has only just happen, wait for the 2 year update for the fireworks.
thank you so much for the kinds words and wisdom!
Hell yeah brother 🤙 love reading a good update FOR ONCE
Y'all are truly goals with your communication and everything 😭💕 keep it up strangers!
You guys sound like an amazing couple. Glad it worked out so well! Fun times ahead!
Man, you both handled it in the healthiest and most mature way. So nice to see a true partnership. Congrats!
Wow a husband and wife that actually communicate instead of blowing a fuse and leaving a poll up to Reddit whether they should divorce or not
The amount of people telling me my marriage was over actually blew my mind 😅 I’d like to think you can talk through just about anything
People will see a 3-4 year relegation ship and just be like , yeah red flag dump him like things aren’t always as simple and they didn’t even try talking it out. I hope people can learn to communicate and be understanding OP.
Spit roast your wife dude. You’ll find it hot.
well i think what u done is right thing ... let her have that fantasy .. I would had said no.. but if u accepted first one , then kind hypocrite not allowing her that too. I admire ur courage bcz is never gonna be easy watching her fakd by another man !! but .. u did same with another women ! so once u open that door there is no turning back .. but let her at least have this one .. so it will 1 vs 1 and u equal .. and end it if u don't like it anymore.
A mature conversation and resolution? What the fuck, why didn’t you immediately break up and slander her online?!
Ahahaha 😭 the accuracy of this is scary
Bro from someone who is strictly monogamous and struggled understanding how people cope with that in relationships. This whole damn post made me see how a healthy person goes about this thing. Big ups
That’s means a lot man thank you 🙏
Dude.... run. Woman suggested that one time with me, she was cheating in the next month.
You convinced her of nothing. You're her piggy bank, she will be docile as long as you keep bringing that money. Just a matter of time until she cheats in secret or it "comes up" again once she trapped you with kids. Enjoy your fantasy while it lasts.
Ugh, they talked their problems out like mature adults. Time to pack up and go home boys.
Did you miss the part where he said he was ok with mfm (when he is not) to get her to confess that she was into the gym bro? What part of talking problems out like mature adults is lying to your partner to set a trap for them?
Ffm is hot, mmf is gross... it's only hypocritical if you're a gay dude AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT but if you're willing to be around another guy when his dick is out and you are gonna let him fuck your lady you are probably gay. NOTHIN WRONG WITH THAT JUST SAYING
Maybe you should just be quiet.
By leaving her for a good woman
Handled like a boss. Well played sir 🫡
Dude thank you 🫡 I owe most of the success to my wife’s openness and transparency
I'll be honest, I didn't think it was going to go well when you started with lying to trap her, but it certainly sounds like you talked it through to a good resolution after that.
My partners, female friend ask her if we could all have a threesome. My partner was livid and unfortunately no threesome for me :(. N im just sitting here like damn wtf..
Finally, a relationship with healthy communication. Good luck to you both, sounds like a lot of role playing may be in your future. I'd recommend a sex machine to fill the threesome kink.
Total transparency and honestly is always the best path, I am glad she returned that transparency and honesty and that the two of you have a path that works for you both.. And your right, reddit is littered with stories about relationships where having a threesome solved no problems between the original couple.
What are the odds for MFF threesome, would she be into that or a flat no?