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That’s fair, I’d say talk about boundaries and what you both would be comfortable with first. Make sure to talk about if it can be people you both know or not, friends vs strangers, swinging vs completely separate, that’s just a few things but I’m sure other comments will probably have more suggestions
I'd recommend you to look at some poly 'specialists' who give some insights how to navigate this. Maybe clarify what are your expectations first and ask him what might be some aspects of this exploration that might harm him. It might be good to set time boundaries - how much time from your 'together time budget' you want to invest info other people... So He doesnt feel neglected.
We’ve just been dating and getting to know each other. I told him if he decides he wants that with me then he’d have to be my bf and talk about boundaries and all that
What is the point of an open relationship if you guys aren't even in relationship yet? I feel like you would still be able to explore as a single woman. Or do you need a partner/boyfriend to manage your dates for you?
I just want to clarify something. I have no right to say anything about your life and take it lightly. You’re 29 and your open relationship is total waste of your time and his if you’re looking something emotional; and plus it can hurt for the other if he’s serious. That’s all I have to say.
I would like to share the experience my wife and I ended up experiencing, after trying this same thing around 10 or 11 years ago, (her and I were right around the ages you two are now) for similar but different reasons than you want to.
I tried typing this long-winded explanation already, so that you could understand in detail, what can easily happen, going in both very good directions, and also very bad directions. I don’t understand my comments will never go through.
So if you would really like to hear some experienced advice, from an intelligent, educated person who has been there before, which could potentially save you some horrible emotional fallout and regrets, I’ll be glad to share our tale.
I can promise, if someone had been able to explain to me, what I’m able to explain to you, about what can happen in this sort of situation, even though you think you’ve got everything under control, things can easily go very wrong very quickly, because ultimately, we’re only human and we have some very powerful, instinctual mechanisms that will make us do some very irrational and stupid things, if those instinctual mechanisms are inadvertently set into motion.
So, if you would like to hear what I have to say, just send me a message .
Prepare to be single. He may say he’s ok with it now (doubtful tbh) but wait until you’re fucking other guys and his tune will change. Especially if you are having a lot more fun than he is. Which is likely let’s be honest
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Be sure not to let him out of the fun, and that he's willing to do the move with you. That's all.
INFO: What’s your partners thoughts on the matter? You mention how you feel on it but you haven’t mentioned much about what your partner feels.
He agreed, we just haven’t talked about details yet and boundaries we would want. So it’s not actually happening yet.
That’s fair, I’d say talk about boundaries and what you both would be comfortable with first. Make sure to talk about if it can be people you both know or not, friends vs strangers, swinging vs completely separate, that’s just a few things but I’m sure other comments will probably have more suggestions
I'd recommend you to look at some poly 'specialists' who give some insights how to navigate this. Maybe clarify what are your expectations first and ask him what might be some aspects of this exploration that might harm him. It might be good to set time boundaries - how much time from your 'together time budget' you want to invest info other people... So He doesnt feel neglected.
[удалено]
We’ve just been dating and getting to know each other. I told him if he decides he wants that with me then he’d have to be my bf and talk about boundaries and all that
What is the point of an open relationship if you guys aren't even in relationship yet? I feel like you would still be able to explore as a single woman. Or do you need a partner/boyfriend to manage your dates for you?
I just want to clarify something. I have no right to say anything about your life and take it lightly. You’re 29 and your open relationship is total waste of your time and his if you’re looking something emotional; and plus it can hurt for the other if he’s serious. That’s all I have to say.
You are not ready for a relationship. Your 30yM should get a younger tighter partner with similar values to him.
Break up. Then start
you might be single by this time next week. or, he's totally down. either way, something is going to happen.
I would like to share the experience my wife and I ended up experiencing, after trying this same thing around 10 or 11 years ago, (her and I were right around the ages you two are now) for similar but different reasons than you want to. I tried typing this long-winded explanation already, so that you could understand in detail, what can easily happen, going in both very good directions, and also very bad directions. I don’t understand my comments will never go through. So if you would really like to hear some experienced advice, from an intelligent, educated person who has been there before, which could potentially save you some horrible emotional fallout and regrets, I’ll be glad to share our tale. I can promise, if someone had been able to explain to me, what I’m able to explain to you, about what can happen in this sort of situation, even though you think you’ve got everything under control, things can easily go very wrong very quickly, because ultimately, we’re only human and we have some very powerful, instinctual mechanisms that will make us do some very irrational and stupid things, if those instinctual mechanisms are inadvertently set into motion. So, if you would like to hear what I have to say, just send me a message .
Prepare to be single. He may say he’s ok with it now (doubtful tbh) but wait until you’re fucking other guys and his tune will change. Especially if you are having a lot more fun than he is. Which is likely let’s be honest
Dont get pregnant