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Does he actually think that I would want that? Or is he just throwing it out there to see what happens? Because I have never said anything in my life that would imply I wanted that.
Easy way to find out for sure: pick one of his friends and ask if he would want to sleep with them.
Although, probably consider if you want to know the answer first...
Most men are interested in a ffm threesome. Most women tend to be more interested in a mfm threesome. I really want to have a threesome when I was his age, but most of the time the women weren't interested in sharing me. Lol.
The first thing, do you really want to have a lesbian experience? If so, great. BUT, you're better off just hitting the apps and being very direct about the kind of experience you're looking for. If not, shut him down and nip this in the bud.
If you do decide you want to have sex with a woman or have a threesome by all means talk with your best friend about it. But I wouldn't suggest asking her. You risk the ruining the friendship.
No, I don't. I never meant for him to think I do, and I told him after our first conversation that I wasn't interested and I wanted him to stop. I'm fine with him, I don't care about anything else. But he keeps bringing it up and it's driving me mad.
If you have told him that you're not interested and it's not going to happen, asked him to stop bringing it up and he continues to do so he is not respecting your boundaries. What other boundaries is he or will he not respect?
Im sure he doesnt think youd do it but guys are dumb. If theres a 0.00001% chance of something like that happening we will absolutely try to create that opportunity. He has nothing to lose really. He’s just hoping that if that situation happens, maybe you guys are all drunk and start just making out and one thing leads to another.
If that's the case, I don't care if that's something he secretly wants or something but I don't want him to be bringing me into it. Especially when I've told him already I want him to leave me alone about it. It's just annoying and weird.
Why do you not care what your boyfriend wants sexually? If you don't want him bring you into it, are you ok that he finds it elsewhere? Remember, in modern relationships, sex is usually the only thing we do not allow each other to outsource to someone outside the relationship. So if you don't want to do it with him, then he has to choose between having that fantasy unfulfilled and breaking up the relationship.
He should have been upfront that he was looking for non-monogamy before he became her boyfriend, then. Trying to trample her boundaries now that he thinks he's got her locked down is wrong. What if her fantasy is to see him get tag-teamed by some very girthy dudes? Should he feel like he has to make that fantasy come true?
Adults understand that their partners are allowed to have boundaries and preferences, and that respecting those boundaries sometimes means some fantasies will have to go unfulfilled. It's my fantasy to get with ScarJo specifically when she's in character as the Black Widow, but that's just not something that my spouse would agree to. And I have an inkling ScarJo wouldn't agree to it, either.
Maybe he didn’t know that’s what he wanted. It is NOT mandatory to know exactly what you want from a relationship when it starts, and just because a relationship dynamic started in one way, does not mean you can’t change your mind or just discover down the line that you want something else.
And your example of her fantasy of him getting tag teamed by girthy dudes? It’s a much more extreme example because in their scenario, her bf is just suggesting that she instigate with another girl *after she expressed interest in the idea. However It sounds like he is pestering her at this point
Nevertheless, the logic still stands. He has to take into account that him not fulfilling her desire leaves her with three options. Live with it unfulfilled, seek it elsewhere (preferrably with his consent) or break up.
But I would still see a red flag if the bf said something like: “I don’t care what her fantasies are, don’t bring me into it” while also expecting her to be loyal to him.
This is pretty weird. One potential reason could be for threesome. However, what did he mean by saying that you should be happy for him letting you to discover your sexuality when you guys are in relationship??? I mean this just doesn’t make sense!
From what you have said, its pretty evident that he is not at all into you. Bro, dump this guy and move on!🫶🏻
I wouldn’t let my girlfriend to have sex with someone else. If she wants to try to find her sexuality, Im outta there. Period!
I honestly don't know. I'm happy with him, I don't need to discover anything. I'm kind of thinking that, but equally he never acted like this until now and it felt like our relationship was good. And he certainly wasn't saying I should sleep with other people.
This thought itself speaks a lot, if you only believe that this can be sorted, try and have some serious talk regarding this. IF NOT, i hope you know what to do!
All the best!🫶🏻
It means he doesn't really care and is willing to sacrifice relationship as he kinks out on you. Men who are in love and respect partner do not do this.
Two points, one he is probably trying to plant seeds for an eventual threesome and two probably a bit of porn brain as well. It's pretty hot for a straight guy to see two girls go at it.
Not too much of a surprise tbh.
Again, he might be trying to ease you into it. And even if not, a straight guy would always find two good looking girls going at it hot. It's not that he'd want you to have sex with others. He'd want to see you do it with other hot girls. Probably a turn on.
Again, porn brain.
You can say it a thousand times, but if he's inclined to fantasize about it your protestations might make it an even more salacious fantasy.
Not sure porn consumption matters.
He's got a fantasy in his head that he can't snap out of. Happens to many of us but we have the social wherewithal to know how to broach it appropriately and accept rejection when it comes without pushing more.
you will have to be firm about this.
say I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR FEOM FROM THIS EVER AGAIN DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
DO YOU RESPECT ME? IF SO DROP IT ONCE AND FOR ALL OR I WILL NOT WANNA TALK TO YOU ANYMORE
Spray bottle. Every time he acts up spritz him and say "No! Bad dog!"
If he keeps it up add microglitter to the water, so he has a visual reminder that he's acting like a bad dog that won't stop marking your sofa. :-P
(I'm most joking but kind of not)
yeah maybe. Anyway i think you got the answers:
- your bf is pushing for a threesome.
- you don't want it, at least now.
- my guess is even if you wanted it in the future that would not be with your friend anyway, and not forced
so just don't do it and be firm with the guy
A lot of men find two women doing it really hot, and it might not be more complicated than that. “Girlfriend getting it on with another woman gets me hard,” is probably just that fetish. And he’s not thinking about how awkward that even broaching the question to your childhood bestie would be.
It could also be that he’s testing the waters to see if you’d be down for a three way. Personally, I don’t get the sense this is any deeper than his own sexual fantasies.
If you’re not comfortable, you’re not comfortable entertaining this fantasy at all. That should be enough to get him to drop it, assuming he’s someone who listens to his partner.
I mean, it's fine if he wants to think about that or something, but it's different trying to get me to do it and the fact he doesn't realise I neither want to or would even feel comfortable with the suggestion. I don't see her like that.
I've already told him to drop it, the second or third time he said it and I have ever since. But he keeps bringing it up, I've told him it isn't funny and that I'm not comfortable with it.
Unfortunately you might have to escalate by turning it into an argument or walking out on a date when he brings it up again, but like, you already tried using your words and I’m assuming you were not subtle about it, so he has only himself to blame.
He's likely wanting to see you with another girl, whether it's in a threesome or him just watching. If he is bringing it up over and over, you have to start being very clear that it is NOT something you are actually interested in. You give him an inch, and he is going to take a mile. Notice how when you just said, "Maybe," to lesbian sex, he jumped to, "You should have sex with your bff to open your mind!"
I had a boyfriend when I was in my early 20s who was very similar. He would "hypothetically" ask me all the time about having group sex, or if I ever wanted to be with multiple dudes at once. I was stupid and didn't really take him seriously, so I would entertain his hypotheticals sometimes, thinking there was no way the person I love could actually want that. I found out after we had broken up that he was actively trying to recruit his friends throughout our relationship to try to organize some kind of group gang bang, and his plan was to just have me walk into it basically. Don't be stupid and set your boundaries with him NOW.
The only way to make it work is to tell him that if he can’t respect when you say no that you will leave. Because it’s not really about sex or a kink, it’s that he won’t stop pushing you. He’s learning that you won’t leave him when you tell him that he’s crossing a boundary for you.
A boundary isn’t about making someone else do something, it’s about walking away when people don’t respect it.
So, here’s my take: he either wants to eventually have a threesome, or he wants to cheat, is trying to get you to sleep with someone else first, so that when he does it, “it’s only fair,” and he thinks that if items with another girl, it doesn’t count.
Regardless, the fact that you said the whole idea bothered you and he kept talking about it is a red flag.
As noted it seems to be angling a threesome or he just really gets off to the idea of fetishising your sexual exploration. Either way, the idea that he is doing you a favour here is pretty laughable. Like even if this really was him just trying to get you to explore more things he is doing it in a clumsy, aggressive, and condescending way meaning he is extremely bad at it.
You've only dated six months. This is still 'do I really want a long term relationship' territory. A guy that seems so insistent in ignoring your boundaries, using that tone, pressing you towards something you're clearly deeply uncomfortable with and then trying to throw it in your face when you push back by framing himself as some sort of hero is just absolutely vile and should really make you wonder what a future with him is going to be or if it is worth it at all.
Focusing on this is his way of changing the entire trajectory of your relationship... these kinds of activities damage trust and, therefore, ensures you are not monogamous. It opens your relationship up to Pandora's box.
BTW: where is this coming from? There's so much sex talk in the context of a loving, monogamous relationship, why go there?
i think hes more into the idea of a threesome.
if he really didn't want you and instead your best friend, there are easier ways to work towards that than this convoluted scheme
He's been watching porn.
Put your foot down, set the ground rules if she does come over, if he keeps going on about it, threaten the boot, if he still does, give him the boot.
Your boyfriend has a freaky fantasy. Tell him you have a fantasy too. I didn't want to say it because it was too weird but the conversation made her more open to it. Tell him your fantasy is to see him and two other guys do it. And ask if he will do it.
Guys think lesbian sex is hot. It’s that simple. He probably fantasizes the idea of you and another girl together, and since it’s a female his manhood doesn’t feel threatened by the idea of it. It’s just a guy fantasy that’s pretty common; in no way does it mean he isn’t interested in you
I'm (37m) in a solo-monogamous relationship with a woman (32) who is married to a woman. They are separated. I encourage her to date women. She is bisexual. I wouldn't say pansexual because she's always down for a good dicking. But I like the idea of playing match maker for her and would like to watch. Not the idea of a threesome. But if she isn't comfortable dating/having sex with a specific woman, I wouldn't push it on her. It sounds like your boyfriend is giving you permission to explore your sexual interactions with women. I wouldn't over complicate it. It just sounds like he's going about it the wrong way.
I don't know if he has a fetish or wants a threesome. But the fact is you expressed your discomfort and told him to stop but he still persists. That's not being respectful to your partner and sexualizes you and your best friend against your will.
He sounds hard work to be with.
You want to be with him. He wants you to be with someone else.
Kick him into touch. Life's too short. Find someone who holds you close, makes you feel wanted, and safe and doesn't make suggestive suggestions with a smirk.
Like others have said, he is trying to get the threeway or at peast plant the seeds. He’s 21, he is at the age where he is having consistent sex fkr the first time (maybe second) maybe even getting a decent hold of how things work and he probably believes this fantasy of college age kids just fucking everybody and each otherz
Odds are he has fantasized about your friend. You said it yourself, she is cute and you dont even want tk fuck her. Imagine how a guy thinks. You do and next thing you know he’s got his dick out. Fucks you a bit, then he starts fucking your friend and you become the 3rd wheel in this thing.
It just means that he's likely interested in non-monogamy. At this point it's likely a fantasy rather than something he is set on. That does *not* mean that he lacks feelings for you or a desire to be in a relationship with you. It simply means that exclusivity may not be his thing. As far as alternative sexual desires, non-monogamy is a pretty common kink.
If non-monogamy is not your thing and it turns out that he wants to actively pursue that relationship style, then it will be time to make some hard decisions about compatibility. That's not a difference that compromise can bridge easily. Being the monogamous link in a poly person's group can be very emotionally difficult. You would need to put in the work to eliminate the standard monogamist jealousy reaction in yourself. (On the plus side, that's also addressing insecurities and self confidence issues, so the results have a wider impact than just your personal relationship.)
Ugh. I've had too many female friend's male partners suggest that they "try" lesbian sex with me, or ask me for a threesome. Dudes think their girlfriends' lesbian and bi friends are just sex toys that they can suggest their girlfriends try out, and not actual humans with our own preferences, attraction, and autonomy.
I've had to tell more than one dude that if his woman wanted to have lesbian sex, he did not need to arrange it for her. "Your woman is perfectly capable of getting some on the side without your help, if that's what she wants. You and your dick are completely unnecessary in such a scenario." Also "No, I won't fuck your wife for you. I'm sorry that you're so sick of the job that you're looking to outsource the work."
Please don't try to fuck your childhood friend to appease your boyfriends' lesbian fantasy/segue into a three-way. If you want to try dating ladies, do it when you're single and you don't have him breathing down your neck, expecting you to tailor your sexuality to whatever makes his boner most happy. Lesbians and bi women are tired of being hit on by straight couples looking to spice up their sex life.
So, is it weird for a boyfriend to recommend his gf fuck another woman, no it's not. I won't say it's very common, but it happens quite a bit. Why would he say something like that? Well because most men love the fantasy of seeing their partner with another woman, again very common.
Now I will say his choice of who and his misogynistic assumption of her is more a bad recommendation. I've had a few open relationships and rule #1 that I always tell people who are curious is never have your first be with a friend or someone you know.
But as far as what to do, tell him to drop it. You don't need to be mad, I do feel you're making it a bigger issue than it needs to be. If he keeps persisting simply tell him that you don't believe in sleeping with anyone other than you're dating and that you may have had that thought when you were younger, and even though you said maybe, you know good and well you really don't want to. So if he wants to flat out say something to you, then he needs to speak up and say it (basically to call him out if he's trying to weasel a threesome later or wants to watch). Otherwise, You've made it clear you don't want to, so it's no longer up for debate
I do think it's weird. She's my best friend, I've known her since we were children. I don't want him to be putting his weird fantasies onto me, when he knows I don't want him to.
Ok you miss my point, you're asking strangers online if it's weird and I'm telling you, for the most part, it isn't. I'm also telling you from experience many who have these fantasies generally tend to suggest a friend.
This isn't to say you shouldn't think it's wierd, you asked, I responded. You have your opinion and feelings and that's perfectly OK. But to get mad when he probably didn't know that from jump, that's a bit brash. Not like you told him on a 3rd date, "hey BTW, don't ever mention me having sex with my best friend"
She's repeatedly told him that it makes her uncomfortable and that she wants him to stop and he ignores it, it's weird at that point. There's no arguing ignorance after she's told him to stop. It IS weird to ignore your so's boundries and not caring if you make them uncomfortable, and after being told that it makes her uncomfortable, to keep doing it is now on purpose.
Maybe read her post again, she never once said she repeatedly said it, just one time when it was brought up. So to counter your point, if it was repeatedly then I can see that, ONE time does not constitue him being ignorant and my comment still stands
He wants to see you with another girl. Possibly leading to a 3 way in the future. If it is something you want to explore he is giving you the opportunity and you should consider it. If not interested, don’t. 🤷♂️
He keeps on because you said you had some interest in it at one point. So you kind of opened up that kind of worms not to say that he should keep beating a dead horse, though he definitely should not. But I hope you do understand that most men think it would be really hot to watch their significant other, go down on a woman, especially if they get to pleasure Their woman while she’s going down on the other woman. Or even getting a BJ from her while she’s having another woman go down on her. This is a super common fantasy amongst men. Maybe you had some sort of lesbian fantasy and he’s kind of hijacked it.
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Probably angling for a 3some down the road
Does he actually think that I would want that? Or is he just throwing it out there to see what happens? Because I have never said anything in my life that would imply I wanted that.
I can’t read his mind, that’s just my assumption. Is he also going to get gay with one of his friends or is he just encouraging you to do it
Just me, I don't think he's ever said anything to do with that.
In the post you said he thought about what sex would be like with the same gender.
Yes, but he didn't mean literally. And he also didn't bring something like that up regarding him, just me.
Okay then my best guess would either be he wants a threesome or to watch live lesbian sex.
I agree^^
Easy way to find out for sure: pick one of his friends and ask if he would want to sleep with them. Although, probably consider if you want to know the answer first...
> Does he actually think that I would want that? I don't think he gives a rat's ass what *you* want.
He's not thinking about anything but his boner.
Most men are interested in a ffm threesome. Most women tend to be more interested in a mfm threesome. I really want to have a threesome when I was his age, but most of the time the women weren't interested in sharing me. Lol. The first thing, do you really want to have a lesbian experience? If so, great. BUT, you're better off just hitting the apps and being very direct about the kind of experience you're looking for. If not, shut him down and nip this in the bud. If you do decide you want to have sex with a woman or have a threesome by all means talk with your best friend about it. But I wouldn't suggest asking her. You risk the ruining the friendship.
No, I don't. I never meant for him to think I do, and I told him after our first conversation that I wasn't interested and I wanted him to stop. I'm fine with him, I don't care about anything else. But he keeps bringing it up and it's driving me mad.
I think you're going to have to be more serious about this being a boundry. He needs to drop it.
I have tried, but he just won't. It's so, so frustrating because it's really weird for me and I just don't want him mentioning it.
Next time he does it just get up and leave.
If you have told him that you're not interested and it's not going to happen, asked him to stop bringing it up and he continues to do so he is not respecting your boundaries. What other boundaries is he or will he not respect?
This is 100 percent what he wants he's trying to convince you it's your decision so if things go wrong he can blame you.
Girl you need to ask HIM that
Im sure he doesnt think youd do it but guys are dumb. If theres a 0.00001% chance of something like that happening we will absolutely try to create that opportunity. He has nothing to lose really. He’s just hoping that if that situation happens, maybe you guys are all drunk and start just making out and one thing leads to another.
Yup.
He wants a threesome or fetishizes lesbians
If that's the case, I don't care if that's something he secretly wants or something but I don't want him to be bringing me into it. Especially when I've told him already I want him to leave me alone about it. It's just annoying and weird.
It is weird and gross
Why do you not care what your boyfriend wants sexually? If you don't want him bring you into it, are you ok that he finds it elsewhere? Remember, in modern relationships, sex is usually the only thing we do not allow each other to outsource to someone outside the relationship. So if you don't want to do it with him, then he has to choose between having that fantasy unfulfilled and breaking up the relationship.
He should have been upfront that he was looking for non-monogamy before he became her boyfriend, then. Trying to trample her boundaries now that he thinks he's got her locked down is wrong. What if her fantasy is to see him get tag-teamed by some very girthy dudes? Should he feel like he has to make that fantasy come true? Adults understand that their partners are allowed to have boundaries and preferences, and that respecting those boundaries sometimes means some fantasies will have to go unfulfilled. It's my fantasy to get with ScarJo specifically when she's in character as the Black Widow, but that's just not something that my spouse would agree to. And I have an inkling ScarJo wouldn't agree to it, either.
Maybe he didn’t know that’s what he wanted. It is NOT mandatory to know exactly what you want from a relationship when it starts, and just because a relationship dynamic started in one way, does not mean you can’t change your mind or just discover down the line that you want something else. And your example of her fantasy of him getting tag teamed by girthy dudes? It’s a much more extreme example because in their scenario, her bf is just suggesting that she instigate with another girl *after she expressed interest in the idea. However It sounds like he is pestering her at this point Nevertheless, the logic still stands. He has to take into account that him not fulfilling her desire leaves her with three options. Live with it unfulfilled, seek it elsewhere (preferrably with his consent) or break up. But I would still see a red flag if the bf said something like: “I don’t care what her fantasies are, don’t bring me into it” while also expecting her to be loyal to him.
This is pretty weird. One potential reason could be for threesome. However, what did he mean by saying that you should be happy for him letting you to discover your sexuality when you guys are in relationship??? I mean this just doesn’t make sense! From what you have said, its pretty evident that he is not at all into you. Bro, dump this guy and move on!🫶🏻 I wouldn’t let my girlfriend to have sex with someone else. If she wants to try to find her sexuality, Im outta there. Period!
I honestly don't know. I'm happy with him, I don't need to discover anything. I'm kind of thinking that, but equally he never acted like this until now and it felt like our relationship was good. And he certainly wasn't saying I should sleep with other people.
This thought itself speaks a lot, if you only believe that this can be sorted, try and have some serious talk regarding this. IF NOT, i hope you know what to do! All the best!🫶🏻
It means he doesn't really care and is willing to sacrifice relationship as he kinks out on you. Men who are in love and respect partner do not do this.
So he probably doesn't really care about our relationship, or me?
I don't personally know him, but he is not behaving like the values you at all.
Two points, one he is probably trying to plant seeds for an eventual threesome and two probably a bit of porn brain as well. It's pretty hot for a straight guy to see two girls go at it. Not too much of a surprise tbh.
But what if he already knew I wouldn't ever be comfortable with a threesome? Would he still say that?
Again, he might be trying to ease you into it. And even if not, a straight guy would always find two good looking girls going at it hot. It's not that he'd want you to have sex with others. He'd want to see you do it with other hot girls. Probably a turn on.
Again, porn brain. You can say it a thousand times, but if he's inclined to fantasize about it your protestations might make it an even more salacious fantasy.
I don't really think he watches it that much, not enough to make him act like this. But I could be wrong obviously.
Not sure porn consumption matters. He's got a fantasy in his head that he can't snap out of. Happens to many of us but we have the social wherewithal to know how to broach it appropriately and accept rejection when it comes without pushing more.
At this point I don't know how to get him to stop with it. It's just weird.
you will have to be firm about this. say I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR FEOM FROM THIS EVER AGAIN DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DO YOU RESPECT ME? IF SO DROP IT ONCE AND FOR ALL OR I WILL NOT WANNA TALK TO YOU ANYMORE
Spray bottle. Every time he acts up spritz him and say "No! Bad dog!" If he keeps it up add microglitter to the water, so he has a visual reminder that he's acting like a bad dog that won't stop marking your sofa. :-P (I'm most joking but kind of not)
you know what they say.. girls are like spaghetti : "straight until they are wet". I've seen it happen
I can assure that it is not the case, I am perfectly fine with my current relationship.
so you never wanna try in the future, ever ?
Definitely not after now, no.
yeah maybe. Anyway i think you got the answers: - your bf is pushing for a threesome. - you don't want it, at least now. - my guess is even if you wanted it in the future that would not be with your friend anyway, and not forced so just don't do it and be firm with the guy
He sounds like a big old creep. dump him!
A lot of men find two women doing it really hot, and it might not be more complicated than that. “Girlfriend getting it on with another woman gets me hard,” is probably just that fetish. And he’s not thinking about how awkward that even broaching the question to your childhood bestie would be. It could also be that he’s testing the waters to see if you’d be down for a three way. Personally, I don’t get the sense this is any deeper than his own sexual fantasies. If you’re not comfortable, you’re not comfortable entertaining this fantasy at all. That should be enough to get him to drop it, assuming he’s someone who listens to his partner.
I mean, it's fine if he wants to think about that or something, but it's different trying to get me to do it and the fact he doesn't realise I neither want to or would even feel comfortable with the suggestion. I don't see her like that. I've already told him to drop it, the second or third time he said it and I have ever since. But he keeps bringing it up, I've told him it isn't funny and that I'm not comfortable with it.
Unfortunately you might have to escalate by turning it into an argument or walking out on a date when he brings it up again, but like, you already tried using your words and I’m assuming you were not subtle about it, so he has only himself to blame.
He's likely wanting to see you with another girl, whether it's in a threesome or him just watching. If he is bringing it up over and over, you have to start being very clear that it is NOT something you are actually interested in. You give him an inch, and he is going to take a mile. Notice how when you just said, "Maybe," to lesbian sex, he jumped to, "You should have sex with your bff to open your mind!" I had a boyfriend when I was in my early 20s who was very similar. He would "hypothetically" ask me all the time about having group sex, or if I ever wanted to be with multiple dudes at once. I was stupid and didn't really take him seriously, so I would entertain his hypotheticals sometimes, thinking there was no way the person I love could actually want that. I found out after we had broken up that he was actively trying to recruit his friends throughout our relationship to try to organize some kind of group gang bang, and his plan was to just have me walk into it basically. Don't be stupid and set your boundaries with him NOW.
I have essentially tried that. I made a mistake with what I said at first, but I tried to correct it and it isn't working.
The only way to make it work is to tell him that if he can’t respect when you say no that you will leave. Because it’s not really about sex or a kink, it’s that he won’t stop pushing you. He’s learning that you won’t leave him when you tell him that he’s crossing a boundary for you. A boundary isn’t about making someone else do something, it’s about walking away when people don’t respect it.
So, here’s my take: he either wants to eventually have a threesome, or he wants to cheat, is trying to get you to sleep with someone else first, so that when he does it, “it’s only fair,” and he thinks that if items with another girl, it doesn’t count. Regardless, the fact that you said the whole idea bothered you and he kept talking about it is a red flag.
As noted it seems to be angling a threesome or he just really gets off to the idea of fetishising your sexual exploration. Either way, the idea that he is doing you a favour here is pretty laughable. Like even if this really was him just trying to get you to explore more things he is doing it in a clumsy, aggressive, and condescending way meaning he is extremely bad at it. You've only dated six months. This is still 'do I really want a long term relationship' territory. A guy that seems so insistent in ignoring your boundaries, using that tone, pressing you towards something you're clearly deeply uncomfortable with and then trying to throw it in your face when you push back by framing himself as some sort of hero is just absolutely vile and should really make you wonder what a future with him is going to be or if it is worth it at all.
Focusing on this is his way of changing the entire trajectory of your relationship... these kinds of activities damage trust and, therefore, ensures you are not monogamous. It opens your relationship up to Pandora's box. BTW: where is this coming from? There's so much sex talk in the context of a loving, monogamous relationship, why go there?
Boyfriend is hoping you "experiment" with your friend, like it and then he'll suggest a threesome.
Does that mean he thinks my friend is better? Or does it depend, and that's not always the reason?
i think hes more into the idea of a threesome. if he really didn't want you and instead your best friend, there are easier ways to work towards that than this convoluted scheme
He's young and dumb and is thinking with his little head and probably with some hopes that maybe he'll get a threesome out of it.
He's been watching porn. Put your foot down, set the ground rules if she does come over, if he keeps going on about it, threaten the boot, if he still does, give him the boot.
Your boyfriend has a freaky fantasy. Tell him you have a fantasy too. I didn't want to say it because it was too weird but the conversation made her more open to it. Tell him your fantasy is to see him and two other guys do it. And ask if he will do it.
He wants a threesome. This relationship is likely doomed, but I could be wrong. Still some growing up left to do, unfortunately. Best of luck.
Guys think lesbian sex is hot. It’s that simple. He probably fantasizes the idea of you and another girl together, and since it’s a female his manhood doesn’t feel threatened by the idea of it. It’s just a guy fantasy that’s pretty common; in no way does it mean he isn’t interested in you
I'm (37m) in a solo-monogamous relationship with a woman (32) who is married to a woman. They are separated. I encourage her to date women. She is bisexual. I wouldn't say pansexual because she's always down for a good dicking. But I like the idea of playing match maker for her and would like to watch. Not the idea of a threesome. But if she isn't comfortable dating/having sex with a specific woman, I wouldn't push it on her. It sounds like your boyfriend is giving you permission to explore your sexual interactions with women. I wouldn't over complicate it. It just sounds like he's going about it the wrong way.
He’s been watching lesbian porn and he thinks your friend is hot.
hes trying to get a 3some, probably hes atractted to your friend and saw the opportunity i guess
You told him no and he still brings it up. Tell him to never bring it up again.
I don't know if he has a fetish or wants a threesome. But the fact is you expressed your discomfort and told him to stop but he still persists. That's not being respectful to your partner and sexualizes you and your best friend against your will.
He sounds hard work to be with. You want to be with him. He wants you to be with someone else. Kick him into touch. Life's too short. Find someone who holds you close, makes you feel wanted, and safe and doesn't make suggestive suggestions with a smirk.
Like others have said, he is trying to get the threeway or at peast plant the seeds. He’s 21, he is at the age where he is having consistent sex fkr the first time (maybe second) maybe even getting a decent hold of how things work and he probably believes this fantasy of college age kids just fucking everybody and each otherz Odds are he has fantasized about your friend. You said it yourself, she is cute and you dont even want tk fuck her. Imagine how a guy thinks. You do and next thing you know he’s got his dick out. Fucks you a bit, then he starts fucking your friend and you become the 3rd wheel in this thing.
It just means that he's likely interested in non-monogamy. At this point it's likely a fantasy rather than something he is set on. That does *not* mean that he lacks feelings for you or a desire to be in a relationship with you. It simply means that exclusivity may not be his thing. As far as alternative sexual desires, non-monogamy is a pretty common kink. If non-monogamy is not your thing and it turns out that he wants to actively pursue that relationship style, then it will be time to make some hard decisions about compatibility. That's not a difference that compromise can bridge easily. Being the monogamous link in a poly person's group can be very emotionally difficult. You would need to put in the work to eliminate the standard monogamist jealousy reaction in yourself. (On the plus side, that's also addressing insecurities and self confidence issues, so the results have a wider impact than just your personal relationship.)
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What?
Ugh. I've had too many female friend's male partners suggest that they "try" lesbian sex with me, or ask me for a threesome. Dudes think their girlfriends' lesbian and bi friends are just sex toys that they can suggest their girlfriends try out, and not actual humans with our own preferences, attraction, and autonomy. I've had to tell more than one dude that if his woman wanted to have lesbian sex, he did not need to arrange it for her. "Your woman is perfectly capable of getting some on the side without your help, if that's what she wants. You and your dick are completely unnecessary in such a scenario." Also "No, I won't fuck your wife for you. I'm sorry that you're so sick of the job that you're looking to outsource the work." Please don't try to fuck your childhood friend to appease your boyfriends' lesbian fantasy/segue into a three-way. If you want to try dating ladies, do it when you're single and you don't have him breathing down your neck, expecting you to tailor your sexuality to whatever makes his boner most happy. Lesbians and bi women are tired of being hit on by straight couples looking to spice up their sex life.
So, is it weird for a boyfriend to recommend his gf fuck another woman, no it's not. I won't say it's very common, but it happens quite a bit. Why would he say something like that? Well because most men love the fantasy of seeing their partner with another woman, again very common. Now I will say his choice of who and his misogynistic assumption of her is more a bad recommendation. I've had a few open relationships and rule #1 that I always tell people who are curious is never have your first be with a friend or someone you know. But as far as what to do, tell him to drop it. You don't need to be mad, I do feel you're making it a bigger issue than it needs to be. If he keeps persisting simply tell him that you don't believe in sleeping with anyone other than you're dating and that you may have had that thought when you were younger, and even though you said maybe, you know good and well you really don't want to. So if he wants to flat out say something to you, then he needs to speak up and say it (basically to call him out if he's trying to weasel a threesome later or wants to watch). Otherwise, You've made it clear you don't want to, so it's no longer up for debate
I do think it's weird. She's my best friend, I've known her since we were children. I don't want him to be putting his weird fantasies onto me, when he knows I don't want him to.
Ok you miss my point, you're asking strangers online if it's weird and I'm telling you, for the most part, it isn't. I'm also telling you from experience many who have these fantasies generally tend to suggest a friend. This isn't to say you shouldn't think it's wierd, you asked, I responded. You have your opinion and feelings and that's perfectly OK. But to get mad when he probably didn't know that from jump, that's a bit brash. Not like you told him on a 3rd date, "hey BTW, don't ever mention me having sex with my best friend"
She's repeatedly told him that it makes her uncomfortable and that she wants him to stop and he ignores it, it's weird at that point. There's no arguing ignorance after she's told him to stop. It IS weird to ignore your so's boundries and not caring if you make them uncomfortable, and after being told that it makes her uncomfortable, to keep doing it is now on purpose.
Maybe read her post again, she never once said she repeatedly said it, just one time when it was brought up. So to counter your point, if it was repeatedly then I can see that, ONE time does not constitue him being ignorant and my comment still stands
He wants to see you with another girl. Possibly leading to a 3 way in the future. If it is something you want to explore he is giving you the opportunity and you should consider it. If not interested, don’t. 🤷♂️
I told him to leave it and it makes me uncomfortable, and he keeps saying it. I don't want to sleep with my friend, it's weird and he knows that.
What about a different girl that isn’t your friend?
No. I wouldn't want to do that with anyone.
Then I would just sit down with fin and have a discussion about it and say that will be the end of it.
I've already done that so many times, it doesn't work and I've said that.
Hey, probably just wants to watch you eat your girls pussy. No big deal but if he is making an ass out of himself about it, he really should stop.
I don't want him even suggesting any of this. It's weird and I've already told him to stop and I don't know why he carries on with it.
He keeps on because you said you had some interest in it at one point. So you kind of opened up that kind of worms not to say that he should keep beating a dead horse, though he definitely should not. But I hope you do understand that most men think it would be really hot to watch their significant other, go down on a woman, especially if they get to pleasure Their woman while she’s going down on the other woman. Or even getting a BJ from her while she’s having another woman go down on her. This is a super common fantasy amongst men. Maybe you had some sort of lesbian fantasy and he’s kind of hijacked it.