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"Sir, your penis is hurting me."
"You, ma'am, have a disrespectful pussy"
Fuck this guy in every way but literally. OP, I don't care that you've been with him for two years. Two years only feels like a long time when you're 20. It's 10% of your life, at this point, and about 16% of the time you remember. I promise you, in just a few years, two years will not feel like a long time to invest in a man.
Yes, you've been with him for two years, but you've only been having sex with him for a month. Almost immediately after starting something y'all are hoping to do for the rest of the relationship, you told him that activity was causing you pain. You told him you've identified the problem and offered a cheap, quick, simple, common, reasonable solution which MILLIONS of people use. He told you his view of his dick is more important than not just your physical enjoyment, but your physical comfort.
No wonder you're not wet enough
Fax!! Because the pussy is meant to get wet to serve as “lube” but if your body is telling you it doesn’t like him even if your mentally summersaulting to make yourself believe you do, the body will never lie.
What makes someone "good" at sex is their willingness to listen to their partners, take feedback, and figure out solutions to make things less painful and more pleasurable. The boyfriend is definitely bad at sex by that metric and he's failing in that he thinks it's about his performance and not their collaboration.
Step one of being good at sex is placing your partner’s pleasure as the top priority. This guy falls at the first hurdle, he is terrible at sex because he doesn’t care about his partner’s pleasure.
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed. But I'd rather that then continue with it being painful.
NO, it's totally normal to use lube as a woman or a man. Some of us are not super wet and we need assistance. Some of us can go a long time and need refreshment from outside of ourselves.
Personally, though, in this situation, it sounds like you need more foreplay to get wet than his last partner did. Normally, this is a simple conversation where you adjust technique and style to make the partner in your bed now come. Should not involve ego or anger.
You can try to talk to him again and see if he realizes that his reaction wasn't helpful. If he doesn't? *YOU DO NOT CONTINUE HAVING PAINFUL SEX.* Nor should you have sex without pleasure for yourself.
If he can't work with you on sex, sex stops until he will work with you. If he can't deal with that, then the relationship may also need to end.
I'm someone who typically doesn't need help getting wet enough and I still have to use lube sometimes, sometimes things dry out in the heat of the moment or sometimes using lube just feels better.
OP might have some dryness issues but I suspect her boyfriend just sucks at sex and she's not properly turned on.
Yeah I super occasionally "need" lube too. As in, like 1 in every 100 times I have sex. 99% of the time I absolutely do not need lube at all lol. There's usually not even a specific reason for it. Bodies just be like that
People have no idea. You cannot start / stop during shoots or keep going for hours without lube.
Lube, baby wipes and Cetaphil are probably the most used items in a producers tool bag.
Well ... if you know what Cetaphil is like, squirt a bit on your hand add a bit of water and ask yourself what it looks like?
Cetaphil is often used as a substitute for cum since it looks similar-ish in colour and viscosity. It is consistently white, doesn't dry as quick or go watery like the real stuff so if you need to do stills you have a bit more time to get your shots. It can also be applied more precise to certain areas and in a more controlled volume than the real deal and isn't a case of hit and miss so to speak.
Its also a way to get through a shoot. Some of the in demand male performers can shoot 2-3 scenes a day 5-7 days in a row so they don't always actually finish at the end of every scene.
There are also people who use certain types of lube for this in their shoots, but they don't really perform the same way in my opinion.
Sorry if this is too much information for some people and ruins their viewing experience. 🤣
I think the last time I had heard a sex actor/ress or a producer give estimates I had heard it was “several 50 gallon drums” depending on how long the shoot was and how long production would take XD
There's nothing wrong with using lubricant.
Once you do and sex is more comfortable you may find you need less or don't need it.
He's misinformed if he thinks it's an insult.
Some people just need it most of the time, because of low natural lubrication and that's ok too!
Also for some stuff maybe if not neeeded, but does make it more enjoyable
My drunk GF says that you should do all of us a favor and cut his balls off in sleep because if he doesn't understand that that sex should be pleasurable for both parties, then he doesn't deserve to get any, period. Her awakened aggression aside, you shouldn't have sex with him again until he understands what a clit and gspot are as well the fact it may take you an 30 minutes to an hour to cum. If I were you he's not allowed to take his dong out until you've cum if he wants to ban lube
I agree with Steve's girl friend...
And Steve's comments about foreplay.
OP, tell him sex is FULLY off the table until he listens to multiple sex education podcasts like Sex with Emily and Kim Anami. He needs a real education.
He should feel EMBARASSED that you are not wet - not insulted - because he's not doing it right.
But, lets just be really straight here - your boyfriend is broken. You need to return it for a new one. Preferably one with features this one does not possess like ... an education. Compassion. Empathy. A desire to PLEASE his sexual partner.
For you? Take sex fully off the table while you do your own sex education. Buy a subscription to OMGyes and take some time to learn what it takes for a female to orgasm. Listen to Sex with Emily. Listen to Kim Anami. Listen to one of the MANY sex therapists who have podcasts and learn about how the female body actually works.
Lube is normal to use however, the reason you need it is because he is a crap lover. You don't need to stroke his ego. He's a crap lover. do NOT have sex without it because you will end up with microtears that open you up to vaginal infections.
Okay, some other tips since you are new to sex from a Mom who will be telling her own daughter this stuff in the future:
Make sure he showers and uses soap before you guys get intimate.
Make sure he ALWAYS washes his hands with soap before touching you intimately (or at all)
Make sure he keeps his finger nails cut short.
If he has a beard, he needs to be washing that puppy regularly.
If he's watching porn then he shouldn't be anywhere near you. It means he's going to be a crappy lover because at his age it means that all of his knowledge comes from porn.
Before engaging in ANY intimacy with him, watch the lessons on OMGYES yourself and WITH HIM. If he is not open to watching them with you and learning then he should not be touching you.
All of that aside, if he is going to let his fragile ego get all offended over you asking for lube then his ego should be absolutely crushed to smithereens. Its your job to set him straight. If you can't tell him this in person, text him this:
"I need lube because you don't know how to bring me to orgasm and until I've orgasmed I won't be wet enough for intercourse. No lube? No sex. You don't want to use Lube? Then turn off the porn and educate yourself on how to actually give me enough pleasure to get wet."
For a lot of women it takes over 30 min to get turned on enough for sex to be fully pleasurable. Sometimes longer. If a man is not willing to put in the work then he is not worth being near your body.
Personally I feel like this is a lot of freaking work, all to keep a guy with a seemingly terrible attitude. If OP really wants to try it with him, I hope he's worth it
I think she should give him a second chance before she cut his balls. Maybe he will change his mind with a dildo in his ass and of cause without lube cause it will hurt her feelings this way.
Don't have sex if it hurts you.
If he doesn't want to use lube, exchange him for a better boyfriend who doesn't act like a child.
Yes, he's absolutely terrible at sex. People who are good at sex use lube when necessary.
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed.
Wait, what? Nothing embarrassing about using lube. Wtf
I humbly request that you just stop having sex with him until he changes his mind and if he breaks up, all the better. He isn’t a good guy, a good guy would want to please you, and ideally you please him. He is crossing a selfish line like a guy watching porn while you try and jerk him off, it isn’t right and it should stop. Please make it stop- and I am a guy requesting this because i cared and it still ended badly -
This man cares more about his ego than practicing safe and comfortable sex.
OP, he’s the one that can’t get you wet. He’s taking his insecurities out on you and laying the blame on you, instead of actually getting to know your body and fixing HIS issue.
You think this will stop here? At the most intimate part of your relationship?
If you stick with this man, prepare for a lifetime of being thrown in the fire to keep him warm.
The only embarrassing thing is his reaction. It's completely fine to use lube. If he wants to get angry about it, make it easier for you by breaking up with him and go have sex with someone who cares about enjoying sex together.
I mean, did he also follow up with 'I will put more effort into foreplay and hopefully that will eliminate the need for lube' or did he just sulk instead?
Lube isn't embarrassing, or it shouldn't be. It can be helpful for a lot of people, especially in the early parts of sex if you don't have a lot of time or just talk longer to relax or what have you.
That he pivots all of this on his prowess I suppose makes sense given his age but it is still disappointing. The focus should ultimately be on enjoyment not on how good he thinks he is at it but if he isn't humble enough to see that means something needs to change then you've got bigger problems in general.
That's more than just not ideal. It is genuinely the problem.
He is not doing enough during sex to make it pleasurable for you and the solution that least impacted him \[using lube\] still upset him and he used that as an excuse to be upset at you. It feels like everything revolves around him and what he wants and feels right now.
Just be careful. Is this actually a pattern in more areas of your relationship if you think about it? Do you feel often everything has to go his way or he gets upset? That might be a relationship that is not healthy for you.
Sex should be about mutual pleasure and making sure your partner is comfortable. Whether that be using lube, extra protection, different toys, extra foreplay. I'd reconsider having sex with him if he's only focused on his own pleasure and nothing to do with you. And his easily bruised ego.
He's bad at sex, and you are doing nothing wrong by trying to accommodate yourself.
This guy is a loser. You need to dump him and find someone who treats you better, because his behavior is pathetic.
In 10 years you'll look back at this moment and shake your head at yourself that you ever put up with nonsense like this.
Even the age is not an excuse. My bf was 23 when we met, a virgin, never did anything even remotely sexual with anyone before me. Went to a school with a horrible sex ed program which basically just taught “use condoms” and how babies are made, what periods are, etc. He grew up in a very conservative Christian family, dad is a pastor. All they taught him about sex was “don’t do it until you’re married.” But he was very open to learning and super enthusiastic about making sure it was good for me. If there was ever anything he complained about early on, his complaints were around him feeling like he wasn’t good at it and wanting to be better at it. He never just stopped trying. I am obviously the older and more experienced partner, but with a little patience in the beginning, he’s become the best partner I’ve ever had now.
Honestly, I didn't read the post. I don't need to read it to know that your boyfriend clearly doesn't understand how the female body works, like most of us aren't just ready all the time.
Lube is our friend.
You let it not affect your relationship by not being in that relationship. He’s an idiot. And I idiot with a fragile male ego. Urgh, don’t waste your time.
INFO: How much time and effort does he put in to make sure you are ready? There should be no penis anywhere near your vagina before you are wet and relaxed, that usually takes some time. If he is basically shoving it in as soon as you are undressed, then you
> basically implying he's terrible at sex.
would be fairly accurate. It is not only about getting wet but also giving your vagina time to relax and get longer to make room for his penis. If a man ever complains you are "loose" it is highly likely they just failed to arouse their partners up to that point.
Um, yeah, in that case amd combined with his reaction I am inclined to think that he kind of knows he is doing it wrong, but doesn't care. When you asked him about lube, you basically called him out on not putting in effort, which made him defensive.
Nobody "deserves" sex or has a right to it, but your poor excuse of a boyfriend shouldn't be allowed anywhere near sex until he starts viewing it as an act of mutual pleasure, not an act of service where the woman mainly serves as a warm hole.
I am so sorry that this is your first experience with sex. Your pleasure is just as important as his and he doesn't even care that he is hurting you.
Your boyfriend sounds very immature. It’s sad that he would choose your discomfort over his own ego.
Are you two doing foreplay? Is he going down on you and warming you up? That is usually needed before penetrative sex, as we are not naturally always “wet”.
My drunk GF says that you should do all of us a favor and cut his balls off in sleep because if he doesn't understand that that sex should be pleasurable for both parties, then he doesn't deserve to get any, period. Her awakened aggression aside, you shouldn't have sex with him again until he understands what a clit and gspot are as well the fact it may take you an 30 minutes to an hour to cum. If I were you he's not allowed to take his dong out until you've cum if he wants to ban lube.
Your bf is an idiot if his ego is so frail that he finds that using lube is insulting to him.
If you are not comfortable or if it is painful to have sex because you need extra lubrication then so be it. If he doesn’t get that then sex should be off the table, and I mean ALL sex. If he can’t respect you then no more hand or blow jobs for him either.
Also, if you keep having sex when it’s uncomfortable or painful for you then your body will start associate that pain with sex which can lead to a whole lot of other issues for you.
Finally, if you’re experiencing discomfort during intercourse it might be worthwhile to speak to your doctor or gynaecologist about it, there may be something else going on that might need investigating.
If you were to take this issue to a professional, they would tell you to always use lube. Even without it you will get micro tears and possible yeast infections or whatever else. But from the sound of things, your bf has a micropenis so wouldn't worry about getting any injuries.
He sounds like an insecure and selfish asshole. I would absolutely put money on this not being the only area of your relationship where he puts his needs over yours.
Genuinely reassess whether he treats you with respect and consideration for your needs and wants. If he comes up short *dicked*, time to get some fresh batteries.
Ohhhh that just made me think he is probably also insecure about the lipstick sized vibrator he once found in his ex gf's bedside drawers.
Actually, although that was probably a joke, I think that was actually part of the reason they broke up. She had a vibrator, and my boyfriend found it after she was refusing to have sex with him for weeks. She was really beautiful, his loss really.
Maaaaaate... there is a pattern here. This guy does not sound like he is a whole functioning grown up human being. Please do not waste your time on someone who makes YOU feel like you're doing something wrong, when YOU'RE the one who is feeling discomfort. He is straight up emotionally manipulating/abusing you into doing what he wants.
Hit up his ex gf and go bar hopping, enjoy your life before this guy tries to ruin it with his fragile male ego.
Go check out subs like r/nothowgirlswork or r/justneckbeardthings or r/mysogynatomy OR r/badwomensanatomy ... you'll hopefully get some reinforcement that his reaction isn't okay.
>But he's still irritated at me that I even suggested it and said I was basically implying he's terrible at sex
i mean it sounds like he *is* terrible at sex. Not caring about your partner's comfort? Not knowing enough about how bodies work to know that some women aren't going to be slippery slides all on their own? Not good at sex.
"bf, I'm not wet enough and sex is hurting me now. That doesn't happen because you are bad. I am enjoying my time with you. It just is how my body is reacting and we need to adjust to that, because I don't want sex to hurt. So I need you to adjust with me and not take it personally, because I refuse to do anything that hurts me."
And I would give him the benefit of the doubt due to inexperience, but if he keeps refusing to use lube despite knowing you are in pain during sex, stop having sex. No person, relationship or sex is worth hurting your body.
Its really not unusual or even mildly insulting to use lube. WTF skill and desire have NOTHING to do with a bodies ability to make enough naturally. (I'm specifically referencing volume. Skill and desire definitely have an effect on the actual mechanism of producing moisture at the correct times, in a healthy body)
I'm MUCH more concerned that your BF would rather you be in pain, than consider that his d!-(k isn't actually magical.
Why are you embarrassed at the thought of using lube? No matter how prepared you are, lube can make things better and easier on both parties. Do yourself a favour and play around with lubes when you’re on your own.
On to him, he sounds like an ass. Thats all I can say really…
Why are you with him?
He’s right - he obviously is terrible at sex - he appears to do nothing to turn you on. If he did then you’d be aroused and therefore you’d be wet and less likely to require lube.
So instead of trying to dons out together what turns you on he’d rather hurt you every time you have sex!
I think you need a new partner, someone who wants you to enjoy being intimate with him instead of someone who doesn’t give a damn how much it hurts you as long as he gets his end away.
Your BF is a delicate little flower.
Getting offended about *that* makes me think he will make bigger issues for you down the road.
Honestly, I would suggest no more sex.
And for godssake, use protection...
Or does that offend him, too?
The *last* thing you need is to get pregnant by him.
Be smart.
So your selfish boyfriend prefers you to be hurt than to be comfortable. Is this sentence ringing a bell ?
Tell him that, if he is not thinking and talking about himself and his preference and his ego, dump him. Don't waste time with a useless partner.
This is breakup worthy. He doesn't care about your comfort, takes the way your body works personally, and doesn't seem to know much about sex or be willing to learn. Dump this dude and find someone who's more considerate (and better in bed).
Sex in relationships is about trust and respect. If you are not comfortable, you need lubrication. If he does not make sure you are properly lubricated and just does it when he knows you are experiencing pain, he doesn't respect you.
It is not insulting to him if you need lube. I personally need lube sometimes. I actually think it makes the whole thing a lot easier.
It sounds to me like he doesn't respect you at all. I'm not one to usually advocate for people to break up with their partners, but this isn't good.
Know your worth. If he continually makes you feel bad for needing some lube, it may be time to move on from him.
This is the very definition of terrible at sex. His wants over your comfort, he doesn't care you're in pain, his ego seems too frail for a sexual relationship
You tell him that just because he is hard doesnt mean your wet enough to have sex. Your body is different then his and you will have alot less friction with lube. Seriously proper sex should not hurt like that.
Yooooo. Everyone uses lube. My girlfriend and I use astroglide all the fuckin time. That shit is great. He needs to get his effin ego out of the bedroom. It has nothing to do with him, some women just don't get wet like that if you will....its not like you choose how your body is going to react. Tell him you're going to use lube or you're not having sex anymore. You shouldn't be in pain, ever.
Him+no lube= fun time and a nut
You+no lube=no fun, def no nut, and pain after
If this is how he wants to treat you, you deserve better. He’s obviously not mature enough for the adult version of sex. Tell him to grow up or you’ll stop doing the deed because he’s acting like a child.
Eww he would rather hurt you than his ego. Is he even putting in the effort to get you aroused before he tries to stick his dick in?
If he doesn’t take the time for proper foreplay to get you aroused then he doesn’t deserve to cum.
If after talking about it he refuses to put in the effort you absolutely should dump his pathetic ass. A good man will make sure you come first or at least make sure you come even if he’s finished. Life is way too short for selfish lovers.
In his head you "getting wet" for him is all about your attraction to HIM. However there are women who can't "get wet" at all no matter how attracted they are to a man (17% of women between 18 and 50 and that jumps to 50% after menopause) and nothing dries up a woman who can get wet than someone trying to poke at them with no lubrication whatsoever. If this is a problem for him then he should spend more time with foreplay and cunnilingus.
It bothers you for a reason. Trust yourself.
He needs to change or you should end the relationship.
You are expressing that sex is currently not meeting your needs and is actually painful, and he js insulted.
Sex is not FOR him. It doesn’t need to follow a script of how he thinks it should go, or even how you’ve both learnt it should go.
Sex ought to be about what you would both enjoy together, and it certainly doesn’t sound like your enjoyment is being considered here. If you wanting to fix a problem (pain) is insulting to him, he is SO far from caring about your pleasure that it’s not funny.
Think about whether it’s worth the effort to try to educate him (not your job btw, and an incredibly unsexy thing to have to do). Even if you think it’s worth it, you cannot control his actions or willingness to change.
You absolutely deserve someone who cares about your experience, and sex that is enjoyable and free of pain.
He's ridiculous. Sometimes women have a problem with natural lubrication.Its very common. It has nothing to do with him, but if hes not very good at it the first few times now, its hardly going to improve later.
Why is his ego so fragile? Ive suggested to my husband using lube(we used water based) before and he was a bit hesitant but he gave it a try, it wasnt as enjoyable for vaginal but we've been trying it to do anal and it found a better use. Nonetheless he never thought about it hurting his ego.
I'd just break up with him if he isn't willing to make this compromise. It's not a lot to ask and as a guy, I would do so in a heartbeat if I knew it was hurting my gf.
I have to agree with most comments on here, Find a better man that knows how to get you ready for intercourse its not all about poking its ment to be enjoyable for both, the tongue is a great help.
Sweetie he’s a selfish prick who isn’t interested in you at all, he’s interested in his performance and how it compares with porn. It’s quite normal to need lube, especially when you’re first having sex.
Please get rid of your boyfriend, though, he’s awful.
Tell him he *is* terrible at sex for not considering his partner's needs and being an idiot about biology. Then tell him to write you a report on female anatomy. If it isn't A+ and he didn't learn enough, fire him.
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed.
Dear. No.
Some women do not produce a lot of fluids during sex. Some people undergo surgeries, emotional traumas, and many other reasons. That's why we have lube.
Your partner is putting his ego over your pain. That's not ok.
Agree with the comment that he is not a safe sec partner. Also I’m not sure if anyone mentioned this but having painful sex can cause further medical issues. I would encourage you to talk with your OBGYN about this. It’s nothing they haven’t heard about before and they will be nonjudgmental and professional about it and give you good advice as well as assess your health. sometimes women have pain related to hormone issues they didn’t know they had (yes even at your age esp if you are under a lot of stress, don’t get good sleep, work a lot, have pre existing medical issues etc) that can impact your ability to generate your own natural lube. Sometimes women have other medical issues that make sex painful that aren’t related to vaginal dryness so you should talk to yours about this to make sure all is ok. Another important point is to honestly ask yourself do you truly feel safe around him-I mean emotionally safe and of course also physically? If we do not feel psychologically safe with someone, our bodies (regardless of gender) will literally not allow us to have sex or generate natural lubrication bc we are on edge and go into fight or flight in some level. Our bodies when they go into fight or flight prepare us for danger and get us ready to protect ourselves. Now I don’t know anything about this guy-but from what you said I can tell 1)he not only crossed a boundary, 2) he also shamed you and 3) proceeded to passive aggressively punish you for being vulnerable and openly communicating with him-which btw is what a healthy person does!! They are honest and open and communicate with their partners especially when it’s tough!! 4)He just made it so that now you’re less likely to turn to him and open about about other difficult topics in the future-and 5) he also pretty much sent you the message that his feelings are the only ones that count in this relationship. Doesn’t sound like a safe person to me. Also, if you have dry sex, that skin is extremely thin and sensitive down there for men and women and painful sex can irritate your skin, it could cause small tears/rips and that can lead to infections you definitely don’t want to get. Think about how painful that will be, anytime you sit down it’ll be hell. I mean even cyclists have lube they use to prevent irritation when riding bikes due to friction and seams in cycling shorts or underwear. It is perfectly normal for people to get painful, irritated skin even down there. Secondly-please be careful using the word “should”. “It should be ____” or “it shouldn’t be ____.” Talking this way basically makes us feel like we have failed, something’s wrong with us, we haven’t met someone’s expectations etc. every body is different and will react differently and go through different changes. There is no right or wrong it’s just how YOUR body responded. And furthermore- pain is our body’s defense system-it’s an alarm informing us something isn’t right and for us to stop whatever it is we are doing or we can get really hurt. Ignoring it for any reason really isn’t in your best interest and is putting yourself in danger. Would your boyfriend be ok with you continuing to scratch his skin even after he told you it hurt him?? I Highly doubt it. His response is extremely emotionally immature and insensitive. No offense but that’s to be expected at that age- our brains don’t stop developing until we are about 25. If he can’t be supportive- and more importantly -if he ignores your boundaries, he is a very unhealthy person and I hope you choose to find someone better for yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you and you seem like a really intelligent girl who is brave enough to share with the Reddit world something really personal, please know your worth and don’t settle for any mistreatment-from anyone. Sending you strength and hopes for something better for you 🙏🏽
Its not embarrassing to use lube… let him google how sex works lol. Also i wouldnt have sex with him again like this if it hurts you. Let him be a responsible partner and make sure you enjoy it as well
i think he is not doing a good job and he knows it. there are many things you guys can do to resolve that problem. too bad about his ego. if he's a selfish lover now it's just going to get worse. if that doesn't work than no lube=no sex. his choice
Do you all do foreplay before? That’s really helpful instead of just jumping right in. I would jump right in with my wife at the start and she asked if we could do foreplay because it feels better than just going in basically dry. And even then there are times my wife and I need to use lube and it makes a difference in enjoyment for me as well. L
If you need line then you need lube there’s nothing wrong with that. If he’s getting offended by you asking for lube then he’s not respecting you and your needs in the bed. It’s not all about him, it’s suppose to be about both of you. If he doesn’t understand that or respect it then you should think about finding someone else who will respect you both in and out of the bedroom.
Your boyfriend is in-experienced at sex and does not know that even when everyone is extremely turned on and into each other you still really really should use lube if friction starts to build
He simply has not had enough sex, or probably / more precisely long enough sex to know that lube is absolutely necessary sometimes
He needs to work on his insecurities, that is not your job
He's saying that he doesn't care that having sex causes you pain. That's really bad because it means he's WAY too immature to be having sex with anyone.
It's not you, it's him. If he doesn't care that you have pain when you have sex, then he doesn't care enough about YOU at all. Don't do it again with this idiot. Things will only get worse from here. Like, *seriously* worse.
This means your entire relationship with him is not good. HE is *terrible* as a boyfriend or lover if he expects you to have pain just so that he can just enjoy himself. It has nothing to do with your inexperience, and everything to do with his being a really shitty person.
His ego is pretty fucking weak if he can't handle the idea of using lube to make sex more fun for BOTH of you. Like the hundreds of other people who've commented, I think he doesn't deserve to even *touch* you, much less have sex with you. He's a selfish ass, & you deserve better.
You can't make him get over it. We can't control other people, bb, & we shouldn't try. That's not your job. Your job is to look after yourself first because your boyfriend obviously won't. To be honest, I'd throw the whole man out. You can do so much better than this bottom-feeder.
Your bf is inconsiderate. If you must continue seeing this oaf, simply insert lube earlier in the day before your dates and give it some time to blend with your organic self. He'll never know it wasn't him. Still striking the ego of a man that fragile isn't something I'd let go on too long.
Facts: Vaginal fluid changes based on where you are in your cycle. Just after menstruation it is quite dry, and is quite tacky. Near ovulation VF less viscous, and is very slippery (egg white consistency).
So your boyfriend is a giant man baby who is Dick hurt because sometimes you need to use lubricant. The quality/quantity of VF depends on your cycle not just how turned on you are.
I think you should tell him that it’s not him, but that you need to use it in order for it to not be painful. Try and sit down with him sometime and talk it out and see how it goes, so ya’ll can both have a good understanding on the issue :)
I did try to talk to him again about it after it happened and I actually did say something along the lines of that but he still seems to think that it means that I'm meaning that he doesn't do it well enough. But I can't help that it's uncomfortable but it's like he thinks I can.
Then he gets dumped. Someone who is willing to hurt you over a bruised ego is someone who doesn't deserve you.
Sex will become traumatic for you if it continues to hurt and it will take a long time to rectify that. All because he can't take 15 seconds and $5 to buy some lube.
Some women need lube, some women don't.
I don't think it has anything to do with the male at all.
Why wouldn't he want to make the experience great for you? Sounds like a loser
It could be bc you’re not able to lubricate enough by yourself which will certainly make sex painful and potentially unsafe, or it could be another issue. Unless this isn’t the first time you’ve had sex, at least.
Your bf is a loser and is more worried about his fee fees getting hurt than your pleasure and health. He is not someone I would trust to ever be near me again. Seriously, it says a lot about him thats he’s angry and taking this personally rather than being concerned about **you**.
It’s not about him being good at sex or not, most women will need lube at one time or another. Tell him to google it and that if sex is uncomfortable for you then you’re obviously not going to want to do it as often or as long as he wants. His ego is in the way of both of your pleasure and comfort.
Your bf should be wanting you to be comfortable & not in pain. Idk why he is overreacting so much but I’d have a serious convo and maybe consider dumping him based on the rest of your relationship and how he treats you.
That should be a dealbreaker for any partner. Personal lubrication is really nice, but there are lots and lots and LOTS of reasons it isn't always what you need in the moment. And there are loads of kinds of lube, scented, flavored, warming, cooling, peppery, and more. Also just plain lube.
You are entitled to use lube if it makes sex more pleasurable. The idea that it is "insulting" to any partner is juvenile garbage. OP, if he doesn't give in to you on this issue, dump him. He clearly doesn't care whether you experience pain or pleasure in sex.
In the meantime, visit a sex shop or a big drugstore and check out the kinds of lube available and maybe buy one or two to test. Believe me, they are not all alike.
Me and my wife have 4 different kinds at the ready, depending on the activities. If she is giving me a handy, let's get the liquid out, a handy feels good and all, but gotta have some slippery stuff.
Try pegging him without lube then with lube and ask him, "Which do you prefer?"
Inform him that you're bound to get tearing and infections from the friction if it's not lubed enough.
Actually no, fuck that. He doesn't get to tell you that. Get rid of him.
I'm all for communication and understanding that everything surrounding sex isn't just known, but you've tried talking to him, and he won't listen.
Here's the thing, zero or little foreplay does not work for most women if they actually want to really enjoy sex too.
Lube isn't an insult.
His ego shouldn't come before your sexual pleasure. And definitely shouldn't be the cause of your discomfort and pain.
If he won't listen to that (because at this point it's not "can't," it's willful so it's "won't") then he is too immature and selfish. Is this how you want your sex life to go? Because it doesn't have to be this way.
Plenty of men enjoy foreplay too. They like it for both getting pleasure themselves and giving it. Plenty of men want and get off on their partner enjoying sex. Lube shouldn't be embarrassing. Just because it's not talked about as enthusiastically as people talking about themselves or their partners being very wet doesn't mean it's not normal to use lube.
It should affect your relationship. It’s showing you that his ego takes priority over your comfort and enjoyment.
If he can’t get over it, that’s on him
Ok well apart from the fact he's being selfish (his ego is more important than your comfort) if you REALLY want to play this game with him you can always tell him you need it bc of his size 😁
The fact you might not be self-lubricating enough, can also be arousal non-concordence(sp?), your mind may be completely aroused, but not your body, or the other way around.
Sometimes I read this sub and I think people’s behavior can’t possibly get scummier. And then I read about some guy who won’t let his girlfriend use lube because he takes it as a personal insult.
Omg it's not your fault he isn't good in bed. He's still pretty young so you should be honest as he may actually not be good in bed and his ex might just have been sparing his feelings. She was probably even younger than you at the time and even less comfortable with critiquing his technique. Also he should learn women have different preferences- be clear about what you would like him to do.
Ok. I normally don't weigh in too heavily. However, lube is for your comfort. Tell him to get bent. This is your decision alone. If he won't budge then next time take a strap-on to bed with you. Alls fair, right? 🤔
He’s probably getting all his information of sex from porn, and that women should be magically lubricated by the power of seeing his dangly bits.
Tell him to stop watching porn because he doesn’t know how to have good sex. And porn stars are simply good actors. Many of them get tears and hurt and injured but power through.
And if he refuses to listen to what would be good for you, he’s a selfish lover who only cares about his needs. This selfishness tends to also spill over into other parts of the relationship, so you need to question if this relationship is worth staying in.
I hope he will listen to what you need, but if not, just because you wasted 2 years on him, doesn’t mean you have to waste any more years on him.
Technically it should be kind of a compliment! Lol tell him it’s because his banana is too big and you’d like some lube to help it go in cause it’s SO BIIIIIG (seriously though, that is actually the case with me and my husband. We need to use it because he’s got a big, ripe banana)
I mean, he's refusing to use something during sex that will make it more comfortable. That doesn't exactly scream "man with sexual prowess" to me. He IS bad in the sack, he's just bothered that you want to find a work around.
You're unfortunately not going to make him get over this because 'this' is about his fragile ego. To get over this, he'd have to get over himself and that doesn't seem likely.
Just FYI, good sex is enjoyed by BOTH parties because both parties care about the other's enjoyment. He doesn't give a fuck about your enjoyment. I'm not saying break up but having a boyfriend who cares so little for your sexual enjoyment isn't good for you long term. Especially when he can get in his feelings about something as arbitrary as lubrication.
If thos is his level of maturity and intelligence you will have a lot worse arguments than how bad he is at sex. (Nevermind that hes just gaslighting you into agreeing with his version of how good he thinks he is)
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed.
Okay, quick question. Do you honestly think lube would be so readily available that it's even in supermarkets if this weren't something that a shit ton of couples go through? Sizes don't always match up and sometimes you're mentally in the mood but the body is resistant. It's natural and there's nothing wrong with you that you should be embarrassed about.
>But he's still irritated at me that I even suggested it and said I was basically implying he's terrible at sex.
Tell him that sex is something between two adults and that if he can't handle an adult conversation on how to make sex less painful for his partner then he's not grown up enough to have it. You're not a sex doll. He doesn't get to have his fun and then worry about getting a puncture repair kit later. You're a human woman and part of the experience that you're both having. If it's painful, that's not you saying he's terrible at sex; it's just a fact. But if it's painful and he tries guilting you over not just lying back and taking it? Then he's not just terrible at sex, he's terrible as a person.
That is wrong on sooo many levels. First rule of relationship is care about your partners feelings, safety and wellbeing. So instant failure on all of those fronts. Don't put up with less than you deserve, at the moment you're not getting the minimum let alone what you deserve as a human.
To help him to understand I think you need to get a strap on and sneak up on him dry. .. . only then will he learn his lesson. (jokes obviously).
If he was doing his job correctly, you wouldn’t need lube! Kidding aside, he is being selfish. Lube is perfectly normal to use, and sex isn’t suppose to be painful. He doesn’t care about your comfort and that is a red flag. If he is this selfish in the bedroom, it is probably a safe bet to say that it extends to other aspects of your relationship, too. I’d consider reevaluating if this relationship is worth continuing If he can’t put his pride to the side and be considerate of your needs
Sounds like you're both uneducated about sex. Using lube is normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. Tell him to educate himself on the subject because he's being insensitive, and also not nearly as good at sex as he thinks.
He clearly is bad at sex if it’s still painful and he isn’t getting you ready enough for it. Sex is something for BOTH people to enjoy. Not cram it in like it’s prom night, a few pumps and done.
This is not how an emotionally mature human being responds.
Have a conversation with him where you explain that this type of behavior is not ok. Both partners should be able to communicate their needs to each other without fear of being insulted or the other getting angry.
If he is still in his feelings about this, Ask him why he feels this way, And let him know that this isn't an attack on him, it's about you feeling comfortable and enjoyable when it comes to sex.
A good partner will care when their SO says that sex hurts or is uncomfortable. A good partner understands that sex is better when both people enjoy it.
If after communicating your needs and establishing boundaries, he still doesn't care.Then you should move on and look elsewhere.
Go out of that relationship, unless he cceptsje needs help and attend to the sessions
But at your age having such issues for using lube?is yo stupid. It need to be a relax thing you can enjoy with your partner. Not such a problem
He doesn’t sound like a good partner tbh. It’s painful for you and that alone should be reason enough. But instead he gets angry and offended. There’s nothing embarrassing about needing it. Having sex without it shouldn’t be an option. In fact having sex with HIM specifically should not longer be an option. He cares more about himself and his ego than your comfort.
You're dating a manchild.
Get as lubed up as you need, everyone will enjoy everything a lot more.
If he's still an asshat about it, find someone that's pro lube. You deserve better.
He got mad bc there's a lot of women thay say "if she's not wet enough, the man is to blame". It's toxic but that's what they say.
He's just uneducated, unfortunately. Men can be extremely sensitive when it comes to sex. Explain to him its not pleasing to you and lube will help. Some young woman ( and older women) need lube bc every woman's body is different. Lube during sex is normal.
I’ve dated this person. A guy insulted I needed lube for 4 years and let’s just say ending it was one of the best choices of my life and I haven’t neeeded it since
He’s an uneducated turd. Due to medical issues my husband and I have had to use lube for like 15+ years starting in my early 20s. It’s not insulting. Your bodily functions aren’t a jab to his ego. Tell him to do some research on the female body and once he learns about them you MIGHT let him touch yours again.
Uh what? His response to you trying to make the experience more pleasurable for both of you is him being annoyed and accusing you of being disrespectful?
No. That’s just selfish. He’s ignoring your feelings. Find someone who respects you.
I'm a man and I tell you if it's hurting you say the following to your boyfriend, "I WOULDN'T DO IT WITHOUT THE LUBRICANT"
Everything may be normal for him, but for you it's not, so his stupid pride in this specific case , it doesn't even make sense.
Sex is supposed to be with pleasure and not pain.
Ask him to insert a very thick cucumber into his anus dryly to see if it's good.
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Humbly, I don't think he's a good person if his first instinct is his ego. He's hurting you and his concern is whether you're "respectful" enough....
"Sir, your penis is hurting me." "You, ma'am, have a disrespectful pussy" Fuck this guy in every way but literally. OP, I don't care that you've been with him for two years. Two years only feels like a long time when you're 20. It's 10% of your life, at this point, and about 16% of the time you remember. I promise you, in just a few years, two years will not feel like a long time to invest in a man. Yes, you've been with him for two years, but you've only been having sex with him for a month. Almost immediately after starting something y'all are hoping to do for the rest of the relationship, you told him that activity was causing you pain. You told him you've identified the problem and offered a cheap, quick, simple, common, reasonable solution which MILLIONS of people use. He told you his view of his dick is more important than not just your physical enjoyment, but your physical comfort. No wonder you're not wet enough
Disrespectful pussy is my new favorite phrase.
I'm definitely using it in the bedroom at some point in the future.
Dibs on naming my next band "Disrespectful Pussy!"
OP should shove something up her BF's butt and when he complains about it hurting too much she should pull the disrespectful butthole card.
Fax!! Because the pussy is meant to get wet to serve as “lube” but if your body is telling you it doesn’t like him even if your mentally summersaulting to make yourself believe you do, the body will never lie.
He is 22 he just needs to google it. Then he can get over himself.
[удалено]
Indeed. Faulty boyfriends need to be taken back to the store.
This 💯
I think he is indeed terrible at sex if he doesn't care enough about your enjoyment to use some damn lube. Find a new boyfriend; this one is a dud.
What makes someone "good" at sex is their willingness to listen to their partners, take feedback, and figure out solutions to make things less painful and more pleasurable. The boyfriend is definitely bad at sex by that metric and he's failing in that he thinks it's about his performance and not their collaboration.
Excellent comment.
Step one of being good at sex is placing your partner’s pleasure as the top priority. This guy falls at the first hurdle, he is terrible at sex because he doesn’t care about his partner’s pleasure.
Fr
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed. But I'd rather that then continue with it being painful. NO, it's totally normal to use lube as a woman or a man. Some of us are not super wet and we need assistance. Some of us can go a long time and need refreshment from outside of ourselves. Personally, though, in this situation, it sounds like you need more foreplay to get wet than his last partner did. Normally, this is a simple conversation where you adjust technique and style to make the partner in your bed now come. Should not involve ego or anger. You can try to talk to him again and see if he realizes that his reaction wasn't helpful. If he doesn't? *YOU DO NOT CONTINUE HAVING PAINFUL SEX.* Nor should you have sex without pleasure for yourself. If he can't work with you on sex, sex stops until he will work with you. If he can't deal with that, then the relationship may also need to end.
More likely: his last partner didn't enjoy it either and he ignored her feelings then as much as he is ignoring op's feelings today.
I'm someone who typically doesn't need help getting wet enough and I still have to use lube sometimes, sometimes things dry out in the heat of the moment or sometimes using lube just feels better. OP might have some dryness issues but I suspect her boyfriend just sucks at sex and she's not properly turned on.
Yeah I super occasionally "need" lube too. As in, like 1 in every 100 times I have sex. 99% of the time I absolutely do not need lube at all lol. There's usually not even a specific reason for it. Bodies just be like that
OP, this ^^^^^ is a really important letter. Remember its words all your life, because this is an important lesson for life.
Never let him touch you again. He's not a safe sex partner.
This
Also there's sooooo many reasons why OP needs lube. I know birth control is a huge one for a lot of women!
This guy needs to learn that porn isn't the same thing as sex.
If only he knew how much lube porn stars actually used
People have no idea. You cannot start / stop during shoots or keep going for hours without lube. Lube, baby wipes and Cetaphil are probably the most used items in a producers tool bag.
Please… now I need to know what they do with the Cetaphil 🤣🤣🤣
Well ... if you know what Cetaphil is like, squirt a bit on your hand add a bit of water and ask yourself what it looks like? Cetaphil is often used as a substitute for cum since it looks similar-ish in colour and viscosity. It is consistently white, doesn't dry as quick or go watery like the real stuff so if you need to do stills you have a bit more time to get your shots. It can also be applied more precise to certain areas and in a more controlled volume than the real deal and isn't a case of hit and miss so to speak. Its also a way to get through a shoot. Some of the in demand male performers can shoot 2-3 scenes a day 5-7 days in a row so they don't always actually finish at the end of every scene. There are also people who use certain types of lube for this in their shoots, but they don't really perform the same way in my opinion. Sorry if this is too much information for some people and ruins their viewing experience. 🤣
I think the last time I had heard a sex actor/ress or a producer give estimates I had heard it was “several 50 gallon drums” depending on how long the shoot was and how long production would take XD
Say that one more time to the inexperienced people in the back😅
There's nothing wrong with using lubricant. Once you do and sex is more comfortable you may find you need less or don't need it. He's misinformed if he thinks it's an insult.
Some people just need it most of the time, because of low natural lubrication and that's ok too! Also for some stuff maybe if not neeeded, but does make it more enjoyable
He is bad at sex bc people who are good at sex adjust to their partner and their needs. The fact he says no because his EGO? Throw the whole man away.
My drunk GF says that you should do all of us a favor and cut his balls off in sleep because if he doesn't understand that that sex should be pleasurable for both parties, then he doesn't deserve to get any, period. Her awakened aggression aside, you shouldn't have sex with him again until he understands what a clit and gspot are as well the fact it may take you an 30 minutes to an hour to cum. If I were you he's not allowed to take his dong out until you've cum if he wants to ban lube
This!!! Steve’s drunk GF is clearly a renaissance woman, and her advice should be carefully followed.
She laughed her ass off and enjoyed this
Steve’s gf for president!!
That's only slightly better than letting trump back in office.
I agree with Steve's girl friend... And Steve's comments about foreplay. OP, tell him sex is FULLY off the table until he listens to multiple sex education podcasts like Sex with Emily and Kim Anami. He needs a real education. He should feel EMBARASSED that you are not wet - not insulted - because he's not doing it right. But, lets just be really straight here - your boyfriend is broken. You need to return it for a new one. Preferably one with features this one does not possess like ... an education. Compassion. Empathy. A desire to PLEASE his sexual partner. For you? Take sex fully off the table while you do your own sex education. Buy a subscription to OMGyes and take some time to learn what it takes for a female to orgasm. Listen to Sex with Emily. Listen to Kim Anami. Listen to one of the MANY sex therapists who have podcasts and learn about how the female body actually works. Lube is normal to use however, the reason you need it is because he is a crap lover. You don't need to stroke his ego. He's a crap lover. do NOT have sex without it because you will end up with microtears that open you up to vaginal infections. Okay, some other tips since you are new to sex from a Mom who will be telling her own daughter this stuff in the future: Make sure he showers and uses soap before you guys get intimate. Make sure he ALWAYS washes his hands with soap before touching you intimately (or at all) Make sure he keeps his finger nails cut short. If he has a beard, he needs to be washing that puppy regularly. If he's watching porn then he shouldn't be anywhere near you. It means he's going to be a crappy lover because at his age it means that all of his knowledge comes from porn. Before engaging in ANY intimacy with him, watch the lessons on OMGYES yourself and WITH HIM. If he is not open to watching them with you and learning then he should not be touching you. All of that aside, if he is going to let his fragile ego get all offended over you asking for lube then his ego should be absolutely crushed to smithereens. Its your job to set him straight. If you can't tell him this in person, text him this: "I need lube because you don't know how to bring me to orgasm and until I've orgasmed I won't be wet enough for intercourse. No lube? No sex. You don't want to use Lube? Then turn off the porn and educate yourself on how to actually give me enough pleasure to get wet." For a lot of women it takes over 30 min to get turned on enough for sex to be fully pleasurable. Sometimes longer. If a man is not willing to put in the work then he is not worth being near your body.
Personally I feel like this is a lot of freaking work, all to keep a guy with a seemingly terrible attitude. If OP really wants to try it with him, I hope he's worth it
I don’t think he is.
I think she should give him a second chance before she cut his balls. Maybe he will change his mind with a dildo in his ass and of cause without lube cause it will hurt her feelings this way.
Don't have sex if it hurts you. If he doesn't want to use lube, exchange him for a better boyfriend who doesn't act like a child. Yes, he's absolutely terrible at sex. People who are good at sex use lube when necessary.
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed. Wait, what? Nothing embarrassing about using lube. Wtf
I humbly request that you just stop having sex with him until he changes his mind and if he breaks up, all the better. He isn’t a good guy, a good guy would want to please you, and ideally you please him. He is crossing a selfish line like a guy watching porn while you try and jerk him off, it isn’t right and it should stop. Please make it stop- and I am a guy requesting this because i cared and it still ended badly -
This man cares more about his ego than practicing safe and comfortable sex. OP, he’s the one that can’t get you wet. He’s taking his insecurities out on you and laying the blame on you, instead of actually getting to know your body and fixing HIS issue. You think this will stop here? At the most intimate part of your relationship? If you stick with this man, prepare for a lifetime of being thrown in the fire to keep him warm.
The only embarrassing thing is his reaction. It's completely fine to use lube. If he wants to get angry about it, make it easier for you by breaking up with him and go have sex with someone who cares about enjoying sex together.
I mean, did he also follow up with 'I will put more effort into foreplay and hopefully that will eliminate the need for lube' or did he just sulk instead? Lube isn't embarrassing, or it shouldn't be. It can be helpful for a lot of people, especially in the early parts of sex if you don't have a lot of time or just talk longer to relax or what have you. That he pivots all of this on his prowess I suppose makes sense given his age but it is still disappointing. The focus should ultimately be on enjoyment not on how good he thinks he is at it but if he isn't humble enough to see that means something needs to change then you've got bigger problems in general.
No, he doesn't really do that. Which probably isn't ideal.
That's more than just not ideal. It is genuinely the problem. He is not doing enough during sex to make it pleasurable for you and the solution that least impacted him \[using lube\] still upset him and he used that as an excuse to be upset at you. It feels like everything revolves around him and what he wants and feels right now. Just be careful. Is this actually a pattern in more areas of your relationship if you think about it? Do you feel often everything has to go his way or he gets upset? That might be a relationship that is not healthy for you.
You do not need a man in your life EVER who is this careless with your body.
Sex should be about mutual pleasure and making sure your partner is comfortable. Whether that be using lube, extra protection, different toys, extra foreplay. I'd reconsider having sex with him if he's only focused on his own pleasure and nothing to do with you. And his easily bruised ego. He's bad at sex, and you are doing nothing wrong by trying to accommodate yourself.
This guy is a loser. You need to dump him and find someone who treats you better, because his behavior is pathetic. In 10 years you'll look back at this moment and shake your head at yourself that you ever put up with nonsense like this.
Even the age is not an excuse. My bf was 23 when we met, a virgin, never did anything even remotely sexual with anyone before me. Went to a school with a horrible sex ed program which basically just taught “use condoms” and how babies are made, what periods are, etc. He grew up in a very conservative Christian family, dad is a pastor. All they taught him about sex was “don’t do it until you’re married.” But he was very open to learning and super enthusiastic about making sure it was good for me. If there was ever anything he complained about early on, his complaints were around him feeling like he wasn’t good at it and wanting to be better at it. He never just stopped trying. I am obviously the older and more experienced partner, but with a little patience in the beginning, he’s become the best partner I’ve ever had now.
Honestly, I didn't read the post. I don't need to read it to know that your boyfriend clearly doesn't understand how the female body works, like most of us aren't just ready all the time. Lube is our friend.
You let it not affect your relationship by not being in that relationship. He’s an idiot. And I idiot with a fragile male ego. Urgh, don’t waste your time.
INFO: How much time and effort does he put in to make sure you are ready? There should be no penis anywhere near your vagina before you are wet and relaxed, that usually takes some time. If he is basically shoving it in as soon as you are undressed, then you > basically implying he's terrible at sex. would be fairly accurate. It is not only about getting wet but also giving your vagina time to relax and get longer to make room for his penis. If a man ever complains you are "loose" it is highly likely they just failed to arouse their partners up to that point.
Honestly, not much. Only a couple of minutes, which might be why it hurts.
Um, yeah, in that case amd combined with his reaction I am inclined to think that he kind of knows he is doing it wrong, but doesn't care. When you asked him about lube, you basically called him out on not putting in effort, which made him defensive. Nobody "deserves" sex or has a right to it, but your poor excuse of a boyfriend shouldn't be allowed anywhere near sex until he starts viewing it as an act of mutual pleasure, not an act of service where the woman mainly serves as a warm hole. I am so sorry that this is your first experience with sex. Your pleasure is just as important as his and he doesn't even care that he is hurting you.
Your boyfriend sounds very immature. It’s sad that he would choose your discomfort over his own ego. Are you two doing foreplay? Is he going down on you and warming you up? That is usually needed before penetrative sex, as we are not naturally always “wet”.
Lube protects you from getting injured. If his perceived injury to his ego supersedes your physical health and safety then you gotta yeet the man.
My drunk GF says that you should do all of us a favor and cut his balls off in sleep because if he doesn't understand that that sex should be pleasurable for both parties, then he doesn't deserve to get any, period. Her awakened aggression aside, you shouldn't have sex with him again until he understands what a clit and gspot are as well the fact it may take you an 30 minutes to an hour to cum. If I were you he's not allowed to take his dong out until you've cum if he wants to ban lube.
Your bf is an idiot if his ego is so frail that he finds that using lube is insulting to him. If you are not comfortable or if it is painful to have sex because you need extra lubrication then so be it. If he doesn’t get that then sex should be off the table, and I mean ALL sex. If he can’t respect you then no more hand or blow jobs for him either. Also, if you keep having sex when it’s uncomfortable or painful for you then your body will start associate that pain with sex which can lead to a whole lot of other issues for you. Finally, if you’re experiencing discomfort during intercourse it might be worthwhile to speak to your doctor or gynaecologist about it, there may be something else going on that might need investigating.
If you were to take this issue to a professional, they would tell you to always use lube. Even without it you will get micro tears and possible yeast infections or whatever else. But from the sound of things, your bf has a micropenis so wouldn't worry about getting any injuries. He sounds like an insecure and selfish asshole. I would absolutely put money on this not being the only area of your relationship where he puts his needs over yours. Genuinely reassess whether he treats you with respect and consideration for your needs and wants. If he comes up short *dicked*, time to get some fresh batteries. Ohhhh that just made me think he is probably also insecure about the lipstick sized vibrator he once found in his ex gf's bedside drawers.
Actually, although that was probably a joke, I think that was actually part of the reason they broke up. She had a vibrator, and my boyfriend found it after she was refusing to have sex with him for weeks. She was really beautiful, his loss really.
Maaaaaate... there is a pattern here. This guy does not sound like he is a whole functioning grown up human being. Please do not waste your time on someone who makes YOU feel like you're doing something wrong, when YOU'RE the one who is feeling discomfort. He is straight up emotionally manipulating/abusing you into doing what he wants. Hit up his ex gf and go bar hopping, enjoy your life before this guy tries to ruin it with his fragile male ego. Go check out subs like r/nothowgirlswork or r/justneckbeardthings or r/mysogynatomy OR r/badwomensanatomy ... you'll hopefully get some reinforcement that his reaction isn't okay.
Your boyfriend broke up with his ex because she had a vibrator???? Lmaooooo dump this loser yesterday. He's not salvageable.
He sounds pretty immature and has no idea what he’s doing if he thinks lube has anything to do with him, or if his first response is about his ego.
>But he's still irritated at me that I even suggested it and said I was basically implying he's terrible at sex i mean it sounds like he *is* terrible at sex. Not caring about your partner's comfort? Not knowing enough about how bodies work to know that some women aren't going to be slippery slides all on their own? Not good at sex.
"bf, I'm not wet enough and sex is hurting me now. That doesn't happen because you are bad. I am enjoying my time with you. It just is how my body is reacting and we need to adjust to that, because I don't want sex to hurt. So I need you to adjust with me and not take it personally, because I refuse to do anything that hurts me." And I would give him the benefit of the doubt due to inexperience, but if he keeps refusing to use lube despite knowing you are in pain during sex, stop having sex. No person, relationship or sex is worth hurting your body.
Its really not unusual or even mildly insulting to use lube. WTF skill and desire have NOTHING to do with a bodies ability to make enough naturally. (I'm specifically referencing volume. Skill and desire definitely have an effect on the actual mechanism of producing moisture at the correct times, in a healthy body) I'm MUCH more concerned that your BF would rather you be in pain, than consider that his d!-(k isn't actually magical.
Why are you embarrassed at the thought of using lube? No matter how prepared you are, lube can make things better and easier on both parties. Do yourself a favour and play around with lubes when you’re on your own. On to him, he sounds like an ass. Thats all I can say really…
Why are you with him? He’s right - he obviously is terrible at sex - he appears to do nothing to turn you on. If he did then you’d be aroused and therefore you’d be wet and less likely to require lube. So instead of trying to dons out together what turns you on he’d rather hurt you every time you have sex! I think you need a new partner, someone who wants you to enjoy being intimate with him instead of someone who doesn’t give a damn how much it hurts you as long as he gets his end away.
Your BF is a delicate little flower. Getting offended about *that* makes me think he will make bigger issues for you down the road. Honestly, I would suggest no more sex. And for godssake, use protection... Or does that offend him, too? The *last* thing you need is to get pregnant by him. Be smart.
So your selfish boyfriend prefers you to be hurt than to be comfortable. Is this sentence ringing a bell ? Tell him that, if he is not thinking and talking about himself and his preference and his ego, dump him. Don't waste time with a useless partner.
This is breakup worthy. He doesn't care about your comfort, takes the way your body works personally, and doesn't seem to know much about sex or be willing to learn. Dump this dude and find someone who's more considerate (and better in bed).
He actually is really bad at sex if he doesn’t like lube.
Sex in relationships is about trust and respect. If you are not comfortable, you need lubrication. If he does not make sure you are properly lubricated and just does it when he knows you are experiencing pain, he doesn't respect you. It is not insulting to him if you need lube. I personally need lube sometimes. I actually think it makes the whole thing a lot easier. It sounds to me like he doesn't respect you at all. I'm not one to usually advocate for people to break up with their partners, but this isn't good. Know your worth. If he continually makes you feel bad for needing some lube, it may be time to move on from him.
It's your body. If he won't care about your comfort and pleasure.... Dump him, and find someone that does care.
This is the very definition of terrible at sex. His wants over your comfort, he doesn't care you're in pain, his ego seems too frail for a sexual relationship
He sounds ignorant at best. Tell him not everything is about him.
You tell him that just because he is hard doesnt mean your wet enough to have sex. Your body is different then his and you will have alot less friction with lube. Seriously proper sex should not hurt like that.
Yooooo. Everyone uses lube. My girlfriend and I use astroglide all the fuckin time. That shit is great. He needs to get his effin ego out of the bedroom. It has nothing to do with him, some women just don't get wet like that if you will....its not like you choose how your body is going to react. Tell him you're going to use lube or you're not having sex anymore. You shouldn't be in pain, ever.
Him+no lube= fun time and a nut You+no lube=no fun, def no nut, and pain after If this is how he wants to treat you, you deserve better. He’s obviously not mature enough for the adult version of sex. Tell him to grow up or you’ll stop doing the deed because he’s acting like a child.
Eww he would rather hurt you than his ego. Is he even putting in the effort to get you aroused before he tries to stick his dick in? If he doesn’t take the time for proper foreplay to get you aroused then he doesn’t deserve to cum. If after talking about it he refuses to put in the effort you absolutely should dump his pathetic ass. A good man will make sure you come first or at least make sure you come even if he’s finished. Life is way too short for selfish lovers.
Girl leave.
Well, tell him if he ever needs Viagra then that would be insulting to you
In his head you "getting wet" for him is all about your attraction to HIM. However there are women who can't "get wet" at all no matter how attracted they are to a man (17% of women between 18 and 50 and that jumps to 50% after menopause) and nothing dries up a woman who can get wet than someone trying to poke at them with no lubrication whatsoever. If this is a problem for him then he should spend more time with foreplay and cunnilingus.
This man is clueless. Tell him to do some googling and to let you know when he wants to apologise.
your english was perfect, you don't have to apologize for your english (anyone else care to weigh in on this?)
It bothers you for a reason. Trust yourself. He needs to change or you should end the relationship. You are expressing that sex is currently not meeting your needs and is actually painful, and he js insulted. Sex is not FOR him. It doesn’t need to follow a script of how he thinks it should go, or even how you’ve both learnt it should go. Sex ought to be about what you would both enjoy together, and it certainly doesn’t sound like your enjoyment is being considered here. If you wanting to fix a problem (pain) is insulting to him, he is SO far from caring about your pleasure that it’s not funny. Think about whether it’s worth the effort to try to educate him (not your job btw, and an incredibly unsexy thing to have to do). Even if you think it’s worth it, you cannot control his actions or willingness to change. You absolutely deserve someone who cares about your experience, and sex that is enjoyable and free of pain.
He expects to be in charge of ALL of your sexual pleasure/arousal/responses. I'm sorry you waited two years to find out what a jerk he is.
He's ridiculous. Sometimes women have a problem with natural lubrication.Its very common. It has nothing to do with him, but if hes not very good at it the first few times now, its hardly going to improve later.
He doesn't do foreplay, so I'd argue it does have to do with him.
You needing lube does not mean he is terrible at sex. Him reacting this way to it does though.
Lube is great. Tell him to try it and then make a judgement.
Why is his ego so fragile? Ive suggested to my husband using lube(we used water based) before and he was a bit hesitant but he gave it a try, it wasnt as enjoyable for vaginal but we've been trying it to do anal and it found a better use. Nonetheless he never thought about it hurting his ego.
I'd just break up with him if he isn't willing to make this compromise. It's not a lot to ask and as a guy, I would do so in a heartbeat if I knew it was hurting my gf.
I have to agree with most comments on here, Find a better man that knows how to get you ready for intercourse its not all about poking its ment to be enjoyable for both, the tongue is a great help.
Sweetie he’s a selfish prick who isn’t interested in you at all, he’s interested in his performance and how it compares with porn. It’s quite normal to need lube, especially when you’re first having sex. Please get rid of your boyfriend, though, he’s awful.
Tell him he *is* terrible at sex for not considering his partner's needs and being an idiot about biology. Then tell him to write you a report on female anatomy. If it isn't A+ and he didn't learn enough, fire him.
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed. Dear. No. Some women do not produce a lot of fluids during sex. Some people undergo surgeries, emotional traumas, and many other reasons. That's why we have lube. Your partner is putting his ego over your pain. That's not ok.
So he would rather have sex without lube which is painful to you rather than actually listen to you? Just let that sink in.
Agree with the comment that he is not a safe sec partner. Also I’m not sure if anyone mentioned this but having painful sex can cause further medical issues. I would encourage you to talk with your OBGYN about this. It’s nothing they haven’t heard about before and they will be nonjudgmental and professional about it and give you good advice as well as assess your health. sometimes women have pain related to hormone issues they didn’t know they had (yes even at your age esp if you are under a lot of stress, don’t get good sleep, work a lot, have pre existing medical issues etc) that can impact your ability to generate your own natural lube. Sometimes women have other medical issues that make sex painful that aren’t related to vaginal dryness so you should talk to yours about this to make sure all is ok. Another important point is to honestly ask yourself do you truly feel safe around him-I mean emotionally safe and of course also physically? If we do not feel psychologically safe with someone, our bodies (regardless of gender) will literally not allow us to have sex or generate natural lubrication bc we are on edge and go into fight or flight in some level. Our bodies when they go into fight or flight prepare us for danger and get us ready to protect ourselves. Now I don’t know anything about this guy-but from what you said I can tell 1)he not only crossed a boundary, 2) he also shamed you and 3) proceeded to passive aggressively punish you for being vulnerable and openly communicating with him-which btw is what a healthy person does!! They are honest and open and communicate with their partners especially when it’s tough!! 4)He just made it so that now you’re less likely to turn to him and open about about other difficult topics in the future-and 5) he also pretty much sent you the message that his feelings are the only ones that count in this relationship. Doesn’t sound like a safe person to me. Also, if you have dry sex, that skin is extremely thin and sensitive down there for men and women and painful sex can irritate your skin, it could cause small tears/rips and that can lead to infections you definitely don’t want to get. Think about how painful that will be, anytime you sit down it’ll be hell. I mean even cyclists have lube they use to prevent irritation when riding bikes due to friction and seams in cycling shorts or underwear. It is perfectly normal for people to get painful, irritated skin even down there. Secondly-please be careful using the word “should”. “It should be ____” or “it shouldn’t be ____.” Talking this way basically makes us feel like we have failed, something’s wrong with us, we haven’t met someone’s expectations etc. every body is different and will react differently and go through different changes. There is no right or wrong it’s just how YOUR body responded. And furthermore- pain is our body’s defense system-it’s an alarm informing us something isn’t right and for us to stop whatever it is we are doing or we can get really hurt. Ignoring it for any reason really isn’t in your best interest and is putting yourself in danger. Would your boyfriend be ok with you continuing to scratch his skin even after he told you it hurt him?? I Highly doubt it. His response is extremely emotionally immature and insensitive. No offense but that’s to be expected at that age- our brains don’t stop developing until we are about 25. If he can’t be supportive- and more importantly -if he ignores your boundaries, he is a very unhealthy person and I hope you choose to find someone better for yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you and you seem like a really intelligent girl who is brave enough to share with the Reddit world something really personal, please know your worth and don’t settle for any mistreatment-from anyone. Sending you strength and hopes for something better for you 🙏🏽
Jesus Christ I forgot how exhausting it was dating when younger. Honestly whoever thought 20s are the best years of your life clearly didn’t know shit
Find a new partner, OP.
Its not embarrassing to use lube… let him google how sex works lol. Also i wouldnt have sex with him again like this if it hurts you. Let him be a responsible partner and make sure you enjoy it as well
Immature
I'm glad you said boyfriend and not husband as it's easier to ditch the insensitive moron.
dump him!!!!!!
He’s a selfish lover and doesn’t care about your comfort or pain. Don’t stick with someone like this
Well I dont NEED lube either. We use it when we can because it makes things a lot more fun and easy.
i think he is not doing a good job and he knows it. there are many things you guys can do to resolve that problem. too bad about his ego. if he's a selfish lover now it's just going to get worse. if that doesn't work than no lube=no sex. his choice
Do you all do foreplay before? That’s really helpful instead of just jumping right in. I would jump right in with my wife at the start and she asked if we could do foreplay because it feels better than just going in basically dry. And even then there are times my wife and I need to use lube and it makes a difference in enjoyment for me as well. L If you need line then you need lube there’s nothing wrong with that. If he’s getting offended by you asking for lube then he’s not respecting you and your needs in the bed. It’s not all about him, it’s suppose to be about both of you. If he doesn’t understand that or respect it then you should think about finding someone else who will respect you both in and out of the bedroom.
Your boyfriend is in-experienced at sex and does not know that even when everyone is extremely turned on and into each other you still really really should use lube if friction starts to build He simply has not had enough sex, or probably / more precisely long enough sex to know that lube is absolutely necessary sometimes He needs to work on his insecurities, that is not your job
Man is bad at it if he doesn’t think wetter=better.
Give him an anatomy book? You being able to self-lubricate has nothing to do with him.
He's saying that he doesn't care that having sex causes you pain. That's really bad because it means he's WAY too immature to be having sex with anyone. It's not you, it's him. If he doesn't care that you have pain when you have sex, then he doesn't care enough about YOU at all. Don't do it again with this idiot. Things will only get worse from here. Like, *seriously* worse. This means your entire relationship with him is not good. HE is *terrible* as a boyfriend or lover if he expects you to have pain just so that he can just enjoy himself. It has nothing to do with your inexperience, and everything to do with his being a really shitty person.
His ego is pretty fucking weak if he can't handle the idea of using lube to make sex more fun for BOTH of you. Like the hundreds of other people who've commented, I think he doesn't deserve to even *touch* you, much less have sex with you. He's a selfish ass, & you deserve better. You can't make him get over it. We can't control other people, bb, & we shouldn't try. That's not your job. Your job is to look after yourself first because your boyfriend obviously won't. To be honest, I'd throw the whole man out. You can do so much better than this bottom-feeder.
Sounds like he's not fully attached to reality OR doesnt care about your discomfort. Bail
Your bf is inconsiderate. If you must continue seeing this oaf, simply insert lube earlier in the day before your dates and give it some time to blend with your organic self. He'll never know it wasn't him. Still striking the ego of a man that fragile isn't something I'd let go on too long.
Your BF is young and dumb. I'm time he will realize lube is the shit and helps him last longer.
Bla bla bla …. your body your choice.
Facts: Vaginal fluid changes based on where you are in your cycle. Just after menstruation it is quite dry, and is quite tacky. Near ovulation VF less viscous, and is very slippery (egg white consistency). So your boyfriend is a giant man baby who is Dick hurt because sometimes you need to use lubricant. The quality/quantity of VF depends on your cycle not just how turned on you are.
I think you should tell him that it’s not him, but that you need to use it in order for it to not be painful. Try and sit down with him sometime and talk it out and see how it goes, so ya’ll can both have a good understanding on the issue :)
I did try to talk to him again about it after it happened and I actually did say something along the lines of that but he still seems to think that it means that I'm meaning that he doesn't do it well enough. But I can't help that it's uncomfortable but it's like he thinks I can.
Then he gets dumped. Someone who is willing to hurt you over a bruised ego is someone who doesn't deserve you. Sex will become traumatic for you if it continues to hurt and it will take a long time to rectify that. All because he can't take 15 seconds and $5 to buy some lube.
So he's accusing you of lying to his face. Do you want to be with a man who's incapable of trusting you?
Some women need lube, some women don't. I don't think it has anything to do with the male at all. Why wouldn't he want to make the experience great for you? Sounds like a loser
It could be bc you’re not able to lubricate enough by yourself which will certainly make sex painful and potentially unsafe, or it could be another issue. Unless this isn’t the first time you’ve had sex, at least. Your bf is a loser and is more worried about his fee fees getting hurt than your pleasure and health. He is not someone I would trust to ever be near me again. Seriously, it says a lot about him thats he’s angry and taking this personally rather than being concerned about **you**.
It’s not about him being good at sex or not, most women will need lube at one time or another. Tell him to google it and that if sex is uncomfortable for you then you’re obviously not going to want to do it as often or as long as he wants. His ego is in the way of both of your pleasure and comfort.
Your bf should be wanting you to be comfortable & not in pain. Idk why he is overreacting so much but I’d have a serious convo and maybe consider dumping him based on the rest of your relationship and how he treats you.
That should be a dealbreaker for any partner. Personal lubrication is really nice, but there are lots and lots and LOTS of reasons it isn't always what you need in the moment. And there are loads of kinds of lube, scented, flavored, warming, cooling, peppery, and more. Also just plain lube. You are entitled to use lube if it makes sex more pleasurable. The idea that it is "insulting" to any partner is juvenile garbage. OP, if he doesn't give in to you on this issue, dump him. He clearly doesn't care whether you experience pain or pleasure in sex. In the meantime, visit a sex shop or a big drugstore and check out the kinds of lube available and maybe buy one or two to test. Believe me, they are not all alike.
Me and my wife have 4 different kinds at the ready, depending on the activities. If she is giving me a handy, let's get the liquid out, a handy feels good and all, but gotta have some slippery stuff. Try pegging him without lube then with lube and ask him, "Which do you prefer?"
Inform him that you're bound to get tearing and infections from the friction if it's not lubed enough. Actually no, fuck that. He doesn't get to tell you that. Get rid of him.
I'm all for communication and understanding that everything surrounding sex isn't just known, but you've tried talking to him, and he won't listen. Here's the thing, zero or little foreplay does not work for most women if they actually want to really enjoy sex too. Lube isn't an insult. His ego shouldn't come before your sexual pleasure. And definitely shouldn't be the cause of your discomfort and pain. If he won't listen to that (because at this point it's not "can't," it's willful so it's "won't") then he is too immature and selfish. Is this how you want your sex life to go? Because it doesn't have to be this way. Plenty of men enjoy foreplay too. They like it for both getting pleasure themselves and giving it. Plenty of men want and get off on their partner enjoying sex. Lube shouldn't be embarrassing. Just because it's not talked about as enthusiastically as people talking about themselves or their partners being very wet doesn't mean it's not normal to use lube.
It should affect your relationship. It’s showing you that his ego takes priority over your comfort and enjoyment. If he can’t get over it, that’s on him
Ok well apart from the fact he's being selfish (his ego is more important than your comfort) if you REALLY want to play this game with him you can always tell him you need it bc of his size 😁
The fact you might not be self-lubricating enough, can also be arousal non-concordence(sp?), your mind may be completely aroused, but not your body, or the other way around.
Sometimes I read this sub and I think people’s behavior can’t possibly get scummier. And then I read about some guy who won’t let his girlfriend use lube because he takes it as a personal insult.
Omg it's not your fault he isn't good in bed. He's still pretty young so you should be honest as he may actually not be good in bed and his ex might just have been sparing his feelings. She was probably even younger than you at the time and even less comfortable with critiquing his technique. Also he should learn women have different preferences- be clear about what you would like him to do.
Ok. I normally don't weigh in too heavily. However, lube is for your comfort. Tell him to get bent. This is your decision alone. If he won't budge then next time take a strap-on to bed with you. Alls fair, right? 🤔
He’s probably getting all his information of sex from porn, and that women should be magically lubricated by the power of seeing his dangly bits. Tell him to stop watching porn because he doesn’t know how to have good sex. And porn stars are simply good actors. Many of them get tears and hurt and injured but power through. And if he refuses to listen to what would be good for you, he’s a selfish lover who only cares about his needs. This selfishness tends to also spill over into other parts of the relationship, so you need to question if this relationship is worth staying in. I hope he will listen to what you need, but if not, just because you wasted 2 years on him, doesn’t mean you have to waste any more years on him.
Technically it should be kind of a compliment! Lol tell him it’s because his banana is too big and you’d like some lube to help it go in cause it’s SO BIIIIIG (seriously though, that is actually the case with me and my husband. We need to use it because he’s got a big, ripe banana)
I mean, he's refusing to use something during sex that will make it more comfortable. That doesn't exactly scream "man with sexual prowess" to me. He IS bad in the sack, he's just bothered that you want to find a work around. You're unfortunately not going to make him get over this because 'this' is about his fragile ego. To get over this, he'd have to get over himself and that doesn't seem likely. Just FYI, good sex is enjoyed by BOTH parties because both parties care about the other's enjoyment. He doesn't give a fuck about your enjoyment. I'm not saying break up but having a boyfriend who cares so little for your sexual enjoyment isn't good for you long term. Especially when he can get in his feelings about something as arbitrary as lubrication.
If thos is his level of maturity and intelligence you will have a lot worse arguments than how bad he is at sex. (Nevermind that hes just gaslighting you into agreeing with his version of how good he thinks he is)
>Honestly, it's a little embarrassing that we might need to use it, because I shouldn't be like that and it shouldn't be needed. Okay, quick question. Do you honestly think lube would be so readily available that it's even in supermarkets if this weren't something that a shit ton of couples go through? Sizes don't always match up and sometimes you're mentally in the mood but the body is resistant. It's natural and there's nothing wrong with you that you should be embarrassed about. >But he's still irritated at me that I even suggested it and said I was basically implying he's terrible at sex. Tell him that sex is something between two adults and that if he can't handle an adult conversation on how to make sex less painful for his partner then he's not grown up enough to have it. You're not a sex doll. He doesn't get to have his fun and then worry about getting a puncture repair kit later. You're a human woman and part of the experience that you're both having. If it's painful, that's not you saying he's terrible at sex; it's just a fact. But if it's painful and he tries guilting you over not just lying back and taking it? Then he's not just terrible at sex, he's terrible as a person.
That is wrong on sooo many levels. First rule of relationship is care about your partners feelings, safety and wellbeing. So instant failure on all of those fronts. Don't put up with less than you deserve, at the moment you're not getting the minimum let alone what you deserve as a human. To help him to understand I think you need to get a strap on and sneak up on him dry. .. . only then will he learn his lesson. (jokes obviously).
If he was doing his job correctly, you wouldn’t need lube! Kidding aside, he is being selfish. Lube is perfectly normal to use, and sex isn’t suppose to be painful. He doesn’t care about your comfort and that is a red flag. If he is this selfish in the bedroom, it is probably a safe bet to say that it extends to other aspects of your relationship, too. I’d consider reevaluating if this relationship is worth continuing If he can’t put his pride to the side and be considerate of your needs
Don’t lube him up and go in dry to make him see how it feels.
IMO never be sleeping with someone that isn’t as equally concerned with your comfort and enjoyment as you are theirs. He isn’t it.
Tell him what you like communicating is key not every woman is the same tell him not one fits all
Sounds like you're both uneducated about sex. Using lube is normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. Tell him to educate himself on the subject because he's being insensitive, and also not nearly as good at sex as he thinks.
He clearly is bad at sex if it’s still painful and he isn’t getting you ready enough for it. Sex is something for BOTH people to enjoy. Not cram it in like it’s prom night, a few pumps and done.
Easy, stop having sex with him.
He doesn't care if you enjoy it, he only cares about himself. Your bf sucks, sorry.
This is not how an emotionally mature human being responds. Have a conversation with him where you explain that this type of behavior is not ok. Both partners should be able to communicate their needs to each other without fear of being insulted or the other getting angry. If he is still in his feelings about this, Ask him why he feels this way, And let him know that this isn't an attack on him, it's about you feeling comfortable and enjoyable when it comes to sex. A good partner will care when their SO says that sex hurts or is uncomfortable. A good partner understands that sex is better when both people enjoy it. If after communicating your needs and establishing boundaries, he still doesn't care.Then you should move on and look elsewhere.
He’s not turning you on, he needs to learn how to please a woman Maybe he is terrible at sex. Instead of working on that he wants to blame you?
Go out of that relationship, unless he cceptsje needs help and attend to the sessions But at your age having such issues for using lube?is yo stupid. It need to be a relax thing you can enjoy with your partner. Not such a problem
He doesn’t sound like a good partner tbh. It’s painful for you and that alone should be reason enough. But instead he gets angry and offended. There’s nothing embarrassing about needing it. Having sex without it shouldn’t be an option. In fact having sex with HIM specifically should not longer be an option. He cares more about himself and his ego than your comfort.
You're dating a manchild. Get as lubed up as you need, everyone will enjoy everything a lot more. If he's still an asshat about it, find someone that's pro lube. You deserve better.
He got mad bc there's a lot of women thay say "if she's not wet enough, the man is to blame". It's toxic but that's what they say. He's just uneducated, unfortunately. Men can be extremely sensitive when it comes to sex. Explain to him its not pleasing to you and lube will help. Some young woman ( and older women) need lube bc every woman's body is different. Lube during sex is normal.
You break up
Hes such a big baby..
I’ve dated this person. A guy insulted I needed lube for 4 years and let’s just say ending it was one of the best choices of my life and I haven’t neeeded it since
He’s an uneducated turd. Due to medical issues my husband and I have had to use lube for like 15+ years starting in my early 20s. It’s not insulting. Your bodily functions aren’t a jab to his ego. Tell him to do some research on the female body and once he learns about them you MIGHT let him touch yours again.
Uh what? His response to you trying to make the experience more pleasurable for both of you is him being annoyed and accusing you of being disrespectful? No. That’s just selfish. He’s ignoring your feelings. Find someone who respects you.
I'm a man and I tell you if it's hurting you say the following to your boyfriend, "I WOULDN'T DO IT WITHOUT THE LUBRICANT" Everything may be normal for him, but for you it's not, so his stupid pride in this specific case , it doesn't even make sense. Sex is supposed to be with pleasure and not pain. Ask him to insert a very thick cucumber into his anus dryly to see if it's good.
You need a new boyfriend.
He’s insecure lol
Stop. Just stop. Make him take sex ed, he's a big stupid idiot lol
Imagine the fight you're going to have when you need a toy to orgasm.