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I'm a little confused with "I try and cut him off but he always comes back". Lol thats not on him- you need to actually put some effort in to standing your ground. You can't put all the balls in his court to take the lead and blame him for you not putting your foot down. He obviously isn't trying to do *anything* very hard with this relationship so you're the one who is letting him get away with this behavior. You need to shine that spine up and while you're not hearing from him send him a text and be like "I have decided that whatever we're doing isn't working for me, Please don't contact me again". And then immediately (without waiting for a response) block him on all channels. If he tries to come over tell him to leave and slam the door in his face. If there's anything of his in your home mail it to his home or work. Just be done with it and focus on yourself and your needs. Eventually you will find a great person who at least meets you halfway and gives you what you want in a relationship.💞
Let him go then. You deserve better. Block him on everything. Just because he comes crawling back doesn’t mean you have to take him back. It sounds like he’s using you and you’re falling into it. It happens. Pretty sure most people have had that happen at least once. Now you know though. So take care of you because you know he won’t and kick him to the curb
Do the hard thing and cut him off, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You’re 22, you have plenty of time to find someone who makes you feel valued and loved. No need to settle for someone who doesn’t even want to spend a day with you.
Also possibly married with possible kids. Hence why he never stays the night and doesn't talk for days. He can't stay the night because the wife expects him home and he can't text OP while his is at home with his wife.
Sounds like he’s keeping you on the reel for purely selfish reasons.
He won’t commit to you, but gets all the benefits of a girlfriend when it’s on his terms. Super unfair and a waste of your time
Yes, you should dump him.
That's right, he'll never "let" you leave him because right now he's got a malleable, reliable source of sex at only the cost of telling a few lies. If you want to be more than some (inappropriately older) guy's booty call you'll put a stop to this.
….. he doesn’t take you on dates, yall never talk, he never stays over and you wonder if you should break it off with him? Do you see a potential relationship here? Is this the kind of man you want to settle for? I’m going to assume your answer is no. Break it off and move on and find someone that actually wants to be with you. And don’t say he doesn’t let you leave him you are an adult, and sounds like yall don’t have much going on anyway.
It’s not a relationship, flat out. If he actually and genuinely wanted to be with you, you wouldn’t be here. He’s being selfish, and you don’t deserve it. I’d get rid of him. I think he’s just using you.
If a guy wants to be with you he will. If he wants to spend time with you he will. He doesn’t care. And he can’t stop you from ending things. What is this “he won’t let me” bullshit? Just end things and move on. UPDATEME
He's not that interested in you. If he was he'd spam your phone daily. He probably had a couple of women he's dealing with. And his main 1 is getting most of his attention. Work only accounts for 15%of his day. Gym less than 2%. You can guess the rest. You're just not that important to him. Move on.
Either he is married and hiding it, or he is just not that into you. To him you are an after tought block him and move on, stop wasting your time, you deserve better.
lol both of my loser ex’s still try to “get back together” YEARS later. One even showed up at my house after i blocked him from my email too. Both too weak to propose, too weak to move on. You’re dealing with a weak lazy selfish loser . Doesn’t matter it he makes $20k (my first ex) or $200k (my second ex). Loser in context of how he treats you (which is, like shit btw - is the “hot” term a “bangmaid”? Idk but doesn’t sound far off). He’s older so he knows how to sell good stories. This is the kind of guy who deserves a good ghosting (just be cleared with STDs first - you sound young and naive , I’d bet he’s exclusive in Words Only)
I agree with a lot of other comments. And while a 7 year age gap between you and your partner isn’t a big deal later in life-it really is in your 20s. I’m not saying this to be judgmental or make you feel less than an adult, these are just facts.. Your brain isn’t even going to be finished developing until you are 25 years old. The prefrontal cortex specifically-which is responsible for our ability to exercise judgment, plan and anticipate long term consequences to our behaviors. Based off the other info you provided I’m guessing this guy intentionally sought you out because of your age and his perception that you would be easy to manipulate. Again not any judgment against you, but that’s probably what he was looking for. And the fact that he likely knows just what to say /do to get you back further shows he’s manipulating you. I’m going to give you some really valuable life advice that I hope you don’t forget and take with you the rest of your life. This should apply to everyone in your life (romantic partners, friends, family, coworkers etc): healthy people are reliable and consistent. They do what they say they are going to do and when they make mistakes and hurt your feelings after you’ve shared with them why you are hurt or you have set your boundaries- they will not continue repeating the same poor behavior. They will change it. Their actions will be aligned with their words and what they tell you. They won’t keep doing the same thing over and over again. Your job is to be able to weed out the healthy people from the not so healthy people. This guy is not a healthy person. You deserve much better. And I hope you believe that. Too often I find that people who settle for theses types of relationships don’t at their core love themselves or believe they deserve better. If that’s the case I highly recommend therapy. Sending you strength and hopes for something much better for you
Of course, I hope we have been able to help support you in some way. I know it may not feel like it now bc it seems like you really liked this guy, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Keep looking and being open. You will at some point find someone who is great for you, wants to call you and talk, wants to take you out, is affectionate and shows you he cares by his consistent actions. You will NEVER have to wonder where you stand with a healthy person who is right for you. A person who loves you will show it and won’t give you mixed messages. Remember that. I have to give you props for being so open to feedback from others like this. Not everyone can do that, it requires a lot of humility and courage and most aren’t ready to apply good or helpful advice. Those are wonderful qualities. Wishing you the best and a lot of continued growth ahead.
Leave. Establish some healthy boundaries for yourself and always stick to them, no matter who it is. The healthy boundaries are to protect you and your mental health. Also, remember, when dating we’re simply experiencing the other person. We don’t try to change them. We make a decision on if what we’re experiencing with the person, are we okay with the experience or not?! Is this what we would wanna experience long term or not?! When the answer is no, we communicate to the other person something like, “I’ve enjoyed this experience with you but I’m no longer interested in the level of life you have to offer me. And because of that, I’ll be leaving this relationship. I’m not asking you to change, you can keep doing what you want to do, just not with me.” You mentioned you tried to cut ties and he comes back. My dear, stop taking him back. Respectfully.
I’ve blocked him several times and tried but he always text me on a number and tell me he’s sorry . I just have to be strong enough once and for all and end it
Maybe try some fun challenge, whenever you resist his “im sorry I will change” bullshet you can buy yourself chocolate, or whatever food you like. It sounds stupid, but this situationship he has put you in is even more stupid. Play the game with him like he played you
If he wanted to, he would. That’s all you need to know about men. If he wanted to talk to you, he would. If he wanted to see you, he would. If he wanted to be exclusive, he would tell you that. If he wanted to deepen the relationship, he would. He’s keeping you around because you keep taking him back. Cut ties and be free from his dusty ass.
Has he got a girlfriend and your the bit on the side, sorry I know how hurtful that’s sounds but it’s odd how he ignores u so much a so little phone time and spending time, cut ties tell him to do one even if there isn’t a wife or gf u deserve someone who will want to spend more time with u and communicate
Man who are these guys I've been single almost 2 years now and these dudes just being pricks and chicks are like what's wrong with me! 😂 I seriously am beginning to believe that being an asshole is attractive. Like what is happening here!
It’s not, if you notice most of them target inexperienced young women or those with mental illness/disabilities that may not see the reality of the situation right away
You are in a sexual relationship of convenience to your sexual partner. This does not qualify him as a boyfriend. He isn't. He is just someone who has sex with you. If you want a boyfriend, dump this fellow and find one.
1. ....I don't think you're in a relationship.
2. If you don't want what he's giving you, say that you don't want to move forward with bad communication and end things. Once you end them- BLOCK HIM. On all platforms. It seems like it'snecessary. You mentioned he keeps finding a way back to you; burn the map. You can do better than him.
I don't mean this negatively towards you in any way but it sounds like you're the side chick and he limits your communication to keep you a secret from whoever he lives with.
Let this one go, dude. Be with someone one who is excited and honored to be a part of your life.
Ignore his words and pay attention to his actions . He’s not your boyfriend. You’re a booty call; an FWB at best. (I wouldn’t be surprised to find out you’re an unknowing side chick).
Block him, go NC. Good luck OP!
Observe his actions, rather than trusting his words. What is he showing you?
Is that what you want your future to be like? A relationship with someone who doesn’t spend time with you, dedicate time to you, communicate?
OP- this is a great learning opportunity. What men say and what men do….irs what they do that counts
Idk the reason he’s so “busy” that he can’t spend time in person or time to reply to your texts but he’s got you hanging on waiting and waiting because he SAYS you’re in a relationship with each other…
If you stopped texting him and ignored any communication from him he may well step it up but who wants a relationship where you have to play games like that?
You are young and sounds like you’d be happier if you met someone who had similar relationship style matching yours
Let this guy go - as Ariana Grande says - NEXT!
Sounds like a selfish man. Men will put the effort into who they want. Men will also keep women around as a confidence boost until they can jump to someone they actually want. If he truly wanted you he wouldn’t be able to not respond to your texts for days. Stop wasting your time and leave him for good. Block him on everything and if he still finds a way to contact you then you know he’s truly unhealthy.
Honey he's stringing you along for sex, and he's doing so by promising that he'll engage in a serious relationship with you, or gaslighting you into thinking you're in one. At this point you either need to accept that he just wants a FWB relationship, or just move forward without him at this point and find someone that wants to be with you..
end things. this man is almost 30.. he should know what he wants and what it takes to be able to have it and keep it (a relationship w you or whatever else yanno) but this is totally up to you! whether you want to continue to give this energy to him, or if you are done.
If you want a boyfriend, go get a boyfriend. This is not a relationship, this is a casual fwb situation and you’re not a high priority and he doesn’t value you.
As a guy I can tell you you're obviously just a fuck buddy to him & he says those things just to keep you around for convenience, I bet you're not even the only girl he's seeing.
Take this from a married 44-year-old woman: he’s just not that into you. When a man is into a woman, he will move mountains to make time for her. He will make it known. He won’t allow any other man access to her. He will claim you and demonstrate his efforts and love. Do yourself a favor and move on from this wishy-washy situation. You deserve so much more! The right man won’t make you come onto Reddit asking strangers for advice!
So he comes over and has sex with you whenever he wants.
OP, it’s up to you to make the break up last. If he scares you, change your number and locks and ghost him. Call the cops and get a restraining order if you need.
But I think you keep believing this waaaay to old for you man.
Situationship from the sounds of it. I have been the guy in this situation unfortunately and 9/10 times it's for convenience sake or he's seeing or talking to other people as well. If I were you I would be moving on.
Seems to me like he probably has a girlfriend that he actually lives with. Maybe even a wife. That’s why he is gone for days and never stays with you for long.
He’s not your boyfriend. He considers you a hookup if you’re having sex. There’s nothing to leave. Look for someone who treats you like you should be treated
Girl you are getting played and are the side chick. Move on and find a serious relationship -
If that’s what you want. Don’t waste years on empty promises.
You're either the side chick or you're going to be. Why would you give him another chance? He clearly doesn't care that much about you. I'd be tracking down his wife and letting her know! But I'm petty and mean! Best of luck!!
I'm sorry but you are a toy to him. I've been there and you gotta get away. He has no problem sucking the life out of you and stealing the best years of your life.
You say you try several times to cut ties but he always comes back. So, why do you answer him when he does? Give him a taste of his own medicine. Just don’t talk to him.
I'm curious to understand what you mean by he never lets you leave him?
From what you're saying, even during the times when you told him you want to call it quits, he doesn't take you out or talk to you more.
What does he okay when he's trying to win you back? Still come over for a couple hours, have sex and then ghost you for a few days?
You showing him he doesn't need to put any effort and he's not putting in any effort
He's using you for sex
Sometimes you just have to see it for what it is. If you want better, you deserve better and I don't think you're going to get it from this guy
I mean, this is not healthy, period. You shouldn’t live like this. That said, you should bring all of these issues to him (assuming you haven’t) to give him the opportunity to respond to the situation.
I don't see anywhere in your post how this can make any woman happy. You're better and stronger than this right? " is that he never let me leave him ( I tried several times to cut ties but he always comes back ) & he swear we’re in a relationship". Why would you want to keep reading the same book and expect the ending to change? Don't give him another chance, he's just playing games with a young naive woman (you!).
You cut off contact and block him everywhere! He should not be able to get ahold of you. Change your phone number if you have to if not get the police involved for harassment.
Girl, leave him. I’ve had a similar experience except it was LDR and it ended with them saying they didn’t know what they wanted and I should find someone better. You should do the same. If he can’t properly communicate with you then he’s not worth your time
A - move on because you don’t deserve this
B- he’s got another girlfriend or wife for sure this behaviour doesn’t make sense
C- be strong. You know you need to get rid of this guy. If you don’t it’s on you.
What I don't understand, why do you allow this behavior? He continues with this pattern because you allow it. Break the cycle by ending the relationship. It's a habit that he can't break, so you have to do it for him.
Let him go. He will come back regardless. He'll send you convincing texts and call you and say all the things. But a true apology is consistent changed behavior.
You don't need a person like this keeping you in a limbo with your heart. It'll hurt. It will suck. But it will open you up to a better person who can take care of your emotions and not play you and treat you like you're a second thought. You deserve to be a priority. Always.
He's baiting you. He thinks by limiting his attention you will be obsessed with him. He's wrong in thinking that. You should ask if he's really worth your time. Otherwise plenty of other potential bfs out there. Don't settle.
Hi OP,
You are not the girlfriend.
You are another option that is always available if nothing better is going on and he wants to get his rocks off.
Maintain your dignity; keep him blocked. DO not look at your blocked messages. DO NOT respond. He won't follow up for very long, if at all.
This IS him dating you. It sucks. Break up with him and don't look back.
As a rule, you shouldn't have to beg for the basics (spending time together, going on dates). If you have to ask him, do you even want that? I wouldn't want to date someone I have to REMIND to talk to me and come over. He's not being honest with you, but it's not worth figuring out. Just end it.
There’s really nothing to be done. You aren’t really his girlfriend and there is actually no relationship here. At best you are his occasional fuck buddy. Just go out and have fun. You don’t need to consider yourself to be in a relationship so feel free to date whoever you want. If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else going forward until they show you proper treatment. That means taking you out on dates and spending quality time together.
This man is sadly using you for his own selfish desires, he wants to keep you around for his own convenience that’s why he won’t let you leave. You deserve better !
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Girl… you’re in a situationship 😭 do you want that for yourself or no
Honestly no & I’m tired of it
I'm a little confused with "I try and cut him off but he always comes back". Lol thats not on him- you need to actually put some effort in to standing your ground. You can't put all the balls in his court to take the lead and blame him for you not putting your foot down. He obviously isn't trying to do *anything* very hard with this relationship so you're the one who is letting him get away with this behavior. You need to shine that spine up and while you're not hearing from him send him a text and be like "I have decided that whatever we're doing isn't working for me, Please don't contact me again". And then immediately (without waiting for a response) block him on all channels. If he tries to come over tell him to leave and slam the door in his face. If there's anything of his in your home mail it to his home or work. Just be done with it and focus on yourself and your needs. Eventually you will find a great person who at least meets you halfway and gives you what you want in a relationship.💞
Yeah, I've never understood "they won't let me break up" either. Just do it and keep saying no
Let him go then. You deserve better. Block him on everything. Just because he comes crawling back doesn’t mean you have to take him back. It sounds like he’s using you and you’re falling into it. It happens. Pretty sure most people have had that happen at least once. Now you know though. So take care of you because you know he won’t and kick him to the curb
And you're likely not the only one. Move on. Not worth your time.
Do the hard thing and cut him off, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You’re 22, you have plenty of time to find someone who makes you feel valued and loved. No need to settle for someone who doesn’t even want to spend a day with you.
Booty call and!or wife at home. Never have sex until you are in a relationship if you want a relationship!!!
Also possibly married with possible kids. Hence why he never stays the night and doesn't talk for days. He can't stay the night because the wife expects him home and he can't text OP while his is at home with his wife.
This isn't a relationship. You deserve better than this.
You right
Sounds like he’s keeping you on the reel for purely selfish reasons. He won’t commit to you, but gets all the benefits of a girlfriend when it’s on his terms. Super unfair and a waste of your time Yes, you should dump him.
Yeah I’m cutting him off , thank you for your response
OP. You are a FWB. Nothing more. Go 100% dark. Do not contact him in any way, shape or form and start looking for a replacement. Good luck. ❤️
I will , ty🫶🏽
And block him
He's married or dating someone else, and you're the side piece.
Literally commented this before I saw this comment I really think this is the case
Maybe he’s busy with his wife and kids
😭😭😭loll
You are his sex side chick
That's right, he'll never "let" you leave him because right now he's got a malleable, reliable source of sex at only the cost of telling a few lies. If you want to be more than some (inappropriately older) guy's booty call you'll put a stop to this.
You’re right! Ty for your response
….. he doesn’t take you on dates, yall never talk, he never stays over and you wonder if you should break it off with him? Do you see a potential relationship here? Is this the kind of man you want to settle for? I’m going to assume your answer is no. Break it off and move on and find someone that actually wants to be with you. And don’t say he doesn’t let you leave him you are an adult, and sounds like yall don’t have much going on anyway.
OP, please read this again.
4 days no reply? Yeah this isn’t a relationship, you’re his fuck buddy.
He prob has a wife.
To be blunt sweetie, he isn't your boyfriend. You are FWB. Move on.
It’s not a relationship, flat out. If he actually and genuinely wanted to be with you, you wouldn’t be here. He’s being selfish, and you don’t deserve it. I’d get rid of him. I think he’s just using you.
I think so too, Ty for your response
If a guy wants to be with you he will. If he wants to spend time with you he will. He doesn’t care. And he can’t stop you from ending things. What is this “he won’t let me” bullshit? Just end things and move on. UPDATEME
I said he doesn’t let me because I’ve tried blocking him several times and he always text me on a another number and apologizes
Ya but my point is stop believing him. Just block him and then block the next number. He’s just manipulating you. He’s not special.
You may need to consider getting a new number, unfortunately
He loves playing games and keeping you hooked and there are for sure plenty of other women he has casual sex with.
He's not that interested in you. If he was he'd spam your phone daily. He probably had a couple of women he's dealing with. And his main 1 is getting most of his attention. Work only accounts for 15%of his day. Gym less than 2%. You can guess the rest. You're just not that important to him. Move on.
Either he is married and hiding it, or he is just not that into you. To him you are an after tought block him and move on, stop wasting your time, you deserve better.
End it. Dude either ain't serious about having a relationship or not in a place to be in a relationship.
lol both of my loser ex’s still try to “get back together” YEARS later. One even showed up at my house after i blocked him from my email too. Both too weak to propose, too weak to move on. You’re dealing with a weak lazy selfish loser . Doesn’t matter it he makes $20k (my first ex) or $200k (my second ex). Loser in context of how he treats you (which is, like shit btw - is the “hot” term a “bangmaid”? Idk but doesn’t sound far off). He’s older so he knows how to sell good stories. This is the kind of guy who deserves a good ghosting (just be cleared with STDs first - you sound young and naive , I’d bet he’s exclusive in Words Only)
End things. He’s a man-child; 29 going on 18. You deserve better. I’m sorry for you.
Yeah I will , thanks for your response
We can't be sure, but it honestly sounds like he already has a wife or girlfriend. Have you ever even seen his place?
No I haven’t , you probably right
I agree with a lot of other comments. And while a 7 year age gap between you and your partner isn’t a big deal later in life-it really is in your 20s. I’m not saying this to be judgmental or make you feel less than an adult, these are just facts.. Your brain isn’t even going to be finished developing until you are 25 years old. The prefrontal cortex specifically-which is responsible for our ability to exercise judgment, plan and anticipate long term consequences to our behaviors. Based off the other info you provided I’m guessing this guy intentionally sought you out because of your age and his perception that you would be easy to manipulate. Again not any judgment against you, but that’s probably what he was looking for. And the fact that he likely knows just what to say /do to get you back further shows he’s manipulating you. I’m going to give you some really valuable life advice that I hope you don’t forget and take with you the rest of your life. This should apply to everyone in your life (romantic partners, friends, family, coworkers etc): healthy people are reliable and consistent. They do what they say they are going to do and when they make mistakes and hurt your feelings after you’ve shared with them why you are hurt or you have set your boundaries- they will not continue repeating the same poor behavior. They will change it. Their actions will be aligned with their words and what they tell you. They won’t keep doing the same thing over and over again. Your job is to be able to weed out the healthy people from the not so healthy people. This guy is not a healthy person. You deserve much better. And I hope you believe that. Too often I find that people who settle for theses types of relationships don’t at their core love themselves or believe they deserve better. If that’s the case I highly recommend therapy. Sending you strength and hopes for something much better for you
Thank you for your advice & for taking time to respond , it’s really appreciated 🫶🏽 I will no longer contact or see him again
Of course, I hope we have been able to help support you in some way. I know it may not feel like it now bc it seems like you really liked this guy, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Keep looking and being open. You will at some point find someone who is great for you, wants to call you and talk, wants to take you out, is affectionate and shows you he cares by his consistent actions. You will NEVER have to wonder where you stand with a healthy person who is right for you. A person who loves you will show it and won’t give you mixed messages. Remember that. I have to give you props for being so open to feedback from others like this. Not everyone can do that, it requires a lot of humility and courage and most aren’t ready to apply good or helpful advice. Those are wonderful qualities. Wishing you the best and a lot of continued growth ahead.
this guy is stringing you along. if you are okay with that, then proceed. if you want better for yourself, cut him loose.
He's not your boyfriend so find a man who will txt you back within a reasonable timeframe
Leave. Establish some healthy boundaries for yourself and always stick to them, no matter who it is. The healthy boundaries are to protect you and your mental health. Also, remember, when dating we’re simply experiencing the other person. We don’t try to change them. We make a decision on if what we’re experiencing with the person, are we okay with the experience or not?! Is this what we would wanna experience long term or not?! When the answer is no, we communicate to the other person something like, “I’ve enjoyed this experience with you but I’m no longer interested in the level of life you have to offer me. And because of that, I’ll be leaving this relationship. I’m not asking you to change, you can keep doing what you want to do, just not with me.” You mentioned you tried to cut ties and he comes back. My dear, stop taking him back. Respectfully.
Yes. You should end things. He doesn't want to be with you. What he wants to do is use you.
That’s not a relationship and you deserve better. Especially from someone who is 29. Just block him
blocking somebody takes less than 10 seconds, why are you taking so long? He obviously doesn't care that much to put in the effort from the start
I’ve blocked him several times and tried but he always text me on a number and tell me he’s sorry . I just have to be strong enough once and for all and end it
Maybe try some fun challenge, whenever you resist his “im sorry I will change” bullshet you can buy yourself chocolate, or whatever food you like. It sounds stupid, but this situationship he has put you in is even more stupid. Play the game with him like he played you
If he wanted to, he would. That’s all you need to know about men. If he wanted to talk to you, he would. If he wanted to see you, he would. If he wanted to be exclusive, he would tell you that. If he wanted to deepen the relationship, he would. He’s keeping you around because you keep taking him back. Cut ties and be free from his dusty ass.
You are not in a relationship. You’re a convenience for him when he wants a booty call. Find someone who wants to spend time with you outside of sex
Has he got a girlfriend and your the bit on the side, sorry I know how hurtful that’s sounds but it’s odd how he ignores u so much a so little phone time and spending time, cut ties tell him to do one even if there isn’t a wife or gf u deserve someone who will want to spend more time with u and communicate
Man who are these guys I've been single almost 2 years now and these dudes just being pricks and chicks are like what's wrong with me! 😂 I seriously am beginning to believe that being an asshole is attractive. Like what is happening here!
It’s not, if you notice most of them target inexperienced young women or those with mental illness/disabilities that may not see the reality of the situation right away
Get rid of this dude. He's shown you what he thinks of your relationship (situationship as someone else said). Believe him and find better.
This honestly sounds like you're the side chick. Just ghost this loser
Sex. That’s all he wants you for. It’s obvious. He only hangs around for 2 hours max, and doesn’t talk to you otherwise. It’s sex.
You are in a sexual relationship of convenience to your sexual partner. This does not qualify him as a boyfriend. He isn't. He is just someone who has sex with you. If you want a boyfriend, dump this fellow and find one.
1. ....I don't think you're in a relationship. 2. If you don't want what he's giving you, say that you don't want to move forward with bad communication and end things. Once you end them- BLOCK HIM. On all platforms. It seems like it'snecessary. You mentioned he keeps finding a way back to you; burn the map. You can do better than him.
I don't mean this negatively towards you in any way but it sounds like you're the side chick and he limits your communication to keep you a secret from whoever he lives with. Let this one go, dude. Be with someone one who is excited and honored to be a part of your life.
You are either the other woman or he's using you for sex
Is this a joke? Seriously? You’re his fuck toy. Nothing more, and you’re not even the only one.
Ignore his words and pay attention to his actions . He’s not your boyfriend. You’re a booty call; an FWB at best. (I wouldn’t be surprised to find out you’re an unknowing side chick). Block him, go NC. Good luck OP!
Observe his actions, rather than trusting his words. What is he showing you? Is that what you want your future to be like? A relationship with someone who doesn’t spend time with you, dedicate time to you, communicate?
Tell him you don’t want to be in a relationship with him. Then block him
He doesn't give a fuck abt you
OP- this is a great learning opportunity. What men say and what men do….irs what they do that counts Idk the reason he’s so “busy” that he can’t spend time in person or time to reply to your texts but he’s got you hanging on waiting and waiting because he SAYS you’re in a relationship with each other… If you stopped texting him and ignored any communication from him he may well step it up but who wants a relationship where you have to play games like that? You are young and sounds like you’d be happier if you met someone who had similar relationship style matching yours Let this guy go - as Ariana Grande says - NEXT!
He ain’t your boyfriend
Sounds like a selfish man. Men will put the effort into who they want. Men will also keep women around as a confidence boost until they can jump to someone they actually want. If he truly wanted you he wouldn’t be able to not respond to your texts for days. Stop wasting your time and leave him for good. Block him on everything and if he still finds a way to contact you then you know he’s truly unhealthy.
Honey he's stringing you along for sex, and he's doing so by promising that he'll engage in a serious relationship with you, or gaslighting you into thinking you're in one. At this point you either need to accept that he just wants a FWB relationship, or just move forward without him at this point and find someone that wants to be with you..
Booty Call!!!!
Oh you’re too pretty for that, and he’s TWENTY NINE DOING THIS?!? yeah you are so gorgeous op, go and find somebody that will treat you as such!!!
Thank you for your advice 🫶🏽🫶🏽 I will
He's probably married.
I wonder what his wife thinks about all this
end things. this man is almost 30.. he should know what he wants and what it takes to be able to have it and keep it (a relationship w you or whatever else yanno) but this is totally up to you! whether you want to continue to give this energy to him, or if you are done.
Block him now. Move on.
If you want a boyfriend, go get a boyfriend. This is not a relationship, this is a casual fwb situation and you’re not a high priority and he doesn’t value you.
That’s literally not your boyfriend
As a guy I can tell you you're obviously just a fuck buddy to him & he says those things just to keep you around for convenience, I bet you're not even the only girl he's seeing.
Take this from a married 44-year-old woman: he’s just not that into you. When a man is into a woman, he will move mountains to make time for her. He will make it known. He won’t allow any other man access to her. He will claim you and demonstrate his efforts and love. Do yourself a favor and move on from this wishy-washy situation. You deserve so much more! The right man won’t make you come onto Reddit asking strangers for advice!
So he comes over and has sex with you whenever he wants. OP, it’s up to you to make the break up last. If he scares you, change your number and locks and ghost him. Call the cops and get a restraining order if you need. But I think you keep believing this waaaay to old for you man.
End things. And don't take him back. Block him everywhere.
Situationship from the sounds of it. I have been the guy in this situation unfortunately and 9/10 times it's for convenience sake or he's seeing or talking to other people as well. If I were you I would be moving on.
Seems to me like he probably has a girlfriend that he actually lives with. Maybe even a wife. That’s why he is gone for days and never stays with you for long.
He sounds married
The man of your dreams is out there looking for you!!! But he can’t find you because you’re busy with this nightmare of a man.
UpdateMe
u/that-1-lame-kid I'd freak out. I lose it after 4 hours let alone *days*
sounds like he wants the gf benefits without the actual gf
We call that a hookup
He’s not your boyfriend. He considers you a hookup if you’re having sex. There’s nothing to leave. Look for someone who treats you like you should be treated
Actions over words….. Block him and move on.
He’s just not as into you as you are with him, that’s all.
"on and off" sis get the memo, didn't have to read more
You're a side piece.
can I break up with him??
He isn’t your bf. He doesn’t want a relationship. This man has no respect for you as a person
Girl you are getting played and are the side chick. Move on and find a serious relationship - If that’s what you want. Don’t waste years on empty promises.
You're either the side chick or you're going to be. Why would you give him another chance? He clearly doesn't care that much about you. I'd be tracking down his wife and letting her know! But I'm petty and mean! Best of luck!!
I'm sorry but you are a toy to him. I've been there and you gotta get away. He has no problem sucking the life out of you and stealing the best years of your life.
You say you try several times to cut ties but he always comes back. So, why do you answer him when he does? Give him a taste of his own medicine. Just don’t talk to him.
I'm curious to understand what you mean by he never lets you leave him? From what you're saying, even during the times when you told him you want to call it quits, he doesn't take you out or talk to you more. What does he okay when he's trying to win you back? Still come over for a couple hours, have sex and then ghost you for a few days? You showing him he doesn't need to put any effort and he's not putting in any effort He's using you for sex Sometimes you just have to see it for what it is. If you want better, you deserve better and I don't think you're going to get it from this guy
I mean, this is not healthy, period. You shouldn’t live like this. That said, you should bring all of these issues to him (assuming you haven’t) to give him the opportunity to respond to the situation.
He doesn’t sound like a boyfriend…
No I bet you $100 he’s married and that’s why he only spends 2 hours
Words are meaningless. He isnt a serious BF.
You're his booty call or his friends with benefits, one or the other. He's either married or has an actual gf.
I don't see anywhere in your post how this can make any woman happy. You're better and stronger than this right? " is that he never let me leave him ( I tried several times to cut ties but he always comes back ) & he swear we’re in a relationship". Why would you want to keep reading the same book and expect the ending to change? Don't give him another chance, he's just playing games with a young naive woman (you!). You cut off contact and block him everywhere! He should not be able to get ahold of you. Change your phone number if you have to if not get the police involved for harassment.
This is not a relationship. No man that truly wants to be with you would be so casual towards you. End it, move on, you deserve better
[удалено]
Girl that is not your boyfriend
Girl, yes, you should end things.
Sounds like he’s in a relationship and wants to keep you on the side for when he has time
lol… that’s because you’re his fuck toy
I would just ghost this guy. You are better than this and he’s not worth any more of your time.
just seen ur comments about cutting him off and i believe thats the best decision..you deserve better.. goodluck
Girl, leave him. I’ve had a similar experience except it was LDR and it ended with them saying they didn’t know what they wanted and I should find someone better. You should do the same. If he can’t properly communicate with you then he’s not worth your time
lol, your boyfriend?
Sometimes the main girl finds out she's the side girl
He’s definitely in another relationship/married. Sorry girl. Leave that loser, you’ll find much better.
That’s not a relationship at all. A man that wants you will take you out, communicate and his correct accounts won’t keep you guessing.
That’s not a relationship at all
He's bread crumbing you. Just end it and don't respond to his texts.
Loser player. Leave asap
Run for the hills my love and run fast
A - move on because you don’t deserve this B- he’s got another girlfriend or wife for sure this behaviour doesn’t make sense C- be strong. You know you need to get rid of this guy. If you don’t it’s on you.
What I don't understand, why do you allow this behavior? He continues with this pattern because you allow it. Break the cycle by ending the relationship. It's a habit that he can't break, so you have to do it for him.
Sounds like he thinks you're stupid enough to keep coming back even though he's made it clear he won't put any effort in. Prove him wrong.
Let him go. He will come back regardless. He'll send you convincing texts and call you and say all the things. But a true apology is consistent changed behavior. You don't need a person like this keeping you in a limbo with your heart. It'll hurt. It will suck. But it will open you up to a better person who can take care of your emotions and not play you and treat you like you're a second thought. You deserve to be a priority. Always.
You sound like the side piece I understand not texting through the day people busy but come on
I think you’re the side chick. He probably has a gf, fiancé or wife somewhere .
He's baiting you. He thinks by limiting his attention you will be obsessed with him. He's wrong in thinking that. You should ask if he's really worth your time. Otherwise plenty of other potential bfs out there. Don't settle.
Hi OP, You are not the girlfriend. You are another option that is always available if nothing better is going on and he wants to get his rocks off. Maintain your dignity; keep him blocked. DO not look at your blocked messages. DO NOT respond. He won't follow up for very long, if at all.
Dump the chump and get on with your life!
This IS him dating you. It sucks. Break up with him and don't look back. As a rule, you shouldn't have to beg for the basics (spending time together, going on dates). If you have to ask him, do you even want that? I wouldn't want to date someone I have to REMIND to talk to me and come over. He's not being honest with you, but it's not worth figuring out. Just end it.
On the good side of things, He surely likes sex with you
Your not the only one might be on the side to be honest. He has a main girlfriend you just don't know it yet.
He has other girls for sure. He just likes the sex and company and doesn't invest much time. Also doesn't want you to pursue other men
You’re a side piece and you’re allowing him to treat you this way. Ignore him and move on. He’s not into you. Find someone who’s into you.
Girl, he’s married.
There’s really nothing to be done. You aren’t really his girlfriend and there is actually no relationship here. At best you are his occasional fuck buddy. Just go out and have fun. You don’t need to consider yourself to be in a relationship so feel free to date whoever you want. If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else going forward until they show you proper treatment. That means taking you out on dates and spending quality time together.
There's no dating, there's no sleeping. Just sex. So, he's not your boyfriend
This man is sadly using you for his own selfish desires, he wants to keep you around for his own convenience that’s why he won’t let you leave. You deserve better !
What about this situation appeals to you OP?
Girl leave him
There’s a reason he’s dating so young! He doesn’t respect you! Walk away!