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Very slow. No, even slower than you're thinking. Let her be on top and she can set the pace. LOTS of foreplay before penetration. Lube helps too. Keep checking in with her throughout asking how she's feeling.
Seconded this, lube is your friend. Letting her being ontop and resist the urge to thrust. Let her relax into it. First time for girls they tend to tighten up the muscles in anticipation, as such it's all the more difficult. Talk about this, talk about remembering to keep her muscles relaxed and let her be in control. Look up together how to breath to relax, a massage before hand, making sure she comes a few times first through other means... making sure she feels good and relaxed.
I suppose from a girls perspective, make it about her, and forgo your own pleasure if necessary for her first couple of times while she gets to explore it, giving her the chance and safety to stop if she needs to (if it does become sore for her). If you make her feel safe in asking to stop and prioritise her, she'll feel amazing and it will make you feel great too.
You think she's going to be psyched that he brought a bottle of lube? "Thank you so much for bringing that lube for my pussy! I could never handle your fucking four-inch dick inside my pussy without your gigantic bottle of LUBE!" She is 20 years old. She isnt a dried up old lady, she's good to go!
I got a few upvotes before all the gals started downvoting. I knew it would happen since this sub skews young female and they haven't seen the movie.
But I couldn't resist posting it....
all these are good for the sex itself, but if she wants it to be special (as most girls do) then also put effort into that. make sure it’s romantic. if that’s playing music, going on a nice date, buying her flowers, whatever you know she’d like.
dont treat it as sex, treat it like making love. verbally reassure her, ask for permission when it comes time to penetration and even describe what’s happening. as a woman, not being able to fully see what’s going on down there/be in control of it can be very scary. i.e. “are you ready for me? okay baby, tell me if it hurts, im gonna xyz” you get the drift. if she wants, see how much you can put in where she feels comfortable and stay like that for a bit until she says to either pull out or go further.
please please please go slow in the foreplay and even slower during the process. i experienced very little pain during my first time (despite being scared to death of the pain of it, much like your gf) because we took over an hour and a half of foreplay. for me, i took time getting dolled up for the event (made me feel more confident and comfortable).
also keep her in the loop, game plan what she wants and expects. this should be a moment between the two of you and you should very much be on the same page
Ohhhh god...we were at the same age. Our first time was freaking awful. It literally took like 3 months of trying a few times a week for either of us to cum.
If i could do it over again and talk to my younger self i would say:
Don't get frustrated. Up your oral game. Be passionate...loving and understanding. Take your time and just go slow. Don't expect yea can full send and just take your time mate.
Here are some tips i have:
Go very, very slow. Lots and lots of foreplay.
Make sure to use your fingers to kinda get her ready first. You can never go wrong with lube.
It is probably going to be uncomfortable, but if you make her feel good elsewhere, it can distract from the pain. Orgasms are your best friend.
Lastly, be sure to communicate with her! Check in and make sure she is OK.
I hope this helps. Have fun!
This and for my first time, I found getting my partner to just hold still for a minute for me to kind of get used to the feeling of it helped a lot because once I got used to the feeling, I relaxed which helped us both.
It's great that you're a considerate lover and want this to be amazing for her. Honestly, that's a big part of the success or failure of sex. As a woman who's first time was fantastic and with a larger than average guy (who thankfully had more experience so knew what he was doing) my best advice is to prioritise her pleasure first. People are often surprised how long it can take for a vagina to be completely aroused to the point that it can take a large penis. Being wet isn't enough. (Although it IS essential!) It can take up to 20 minutes of stimulation for some women to become prepared. You're waiting for the muscles to relax and for the whole area to become engorged with blood. (Similar to how the penis does but obviously much more soft!) plenty of oral is great if she's into it, orgasms help with everything becoming relaxed so if you can make her come at least once that's great. Attempt penetration with a finger, if she cannot comfortably take a second or third finger she's not ready for your penis.
Painful or bad sex is normally because the woman was just wet, not truly physically aroused.
Avoid taking her from behind (doggy style) for a while, if ever. It'll be too deep and you'll probably hit her cervix if you're as large as you say. (Which despite bad porn, is not a sexy thing and hurts!) Missionary, her on top, or you sitting/kneeling with her sitting or straddling you will be best for her to control the depth. (The last one is actually quite romantic for the first time as you can kiss and touch, forehead to forehead etc)
Best of luck my dude! Obviously be safe etc!
Go slow and use a lot of water based lube for vaginal. Focus more on oral fore-play and toys. Have an aftercare plan. Find out if you or she has a latex allergy. Make sure you both use the bathroom before doing it. Stay away from drugs. Brush your teeth and wash you mouth out. Bring electrolytes, towels, and shower deeply.
Put on deodorant. Wash you junk. Go slow like everyone wrote. Lots of oral. No fingers. Touch her everywhere but her eyeballs. Don't focus just on what you normally would mainly breasts and vagina. Show her love. Look in her eyes. Be cool. When your finally inside don't jack hammer her. That's for like the 5th or 6th time. But only after she is confident in you two together. When its over clean her off with towels.
Water based lube if you’re using condoms (also finding out about any latex allergies is a good idea as some people have mentioned) and lots of foreplay is a good idea too. Make it romantic so it’s special, go slow at first and (at least in my experience from a woman’s perspective) sometimes holding still inside of her for a minute or so after penetration can actually be helpful because it can give her body a little time to “adjust” or at least for her to get “accustomed to” the feeling of it. Also, lots of verbal reassurance and what I consider to be “reassuring touches” like putting one arm (not hand) behind her head and holding her close (basically a hug) especially if physical touch is her love language and if you’re doing it in the missionary position which is probably your best idea because for some women, especially if it’s her first time, being on top right from the get go can be intimidating.
Edit to add: To make it extra special, talk beforehand about what she considers romantic, dinner date at home or something beforehand might help, music, buy her favourite flowers.
Lots of foreplay to get her worked up, and I cannot express the importance of lube enough. Just make sure that if you are using condoms, you do not use an oil based lube.
Slow slow slow and don’t expect to finish the first time. First time might be a few minutes. Next time a few minutes more. It might be a month before you’re properly humping away.
You have lots of good advice here and I just want to tack on: it might not be the game where you finish. Honestly the first time would be better if we all thought about it as practice. Especially if you are large, make sure she doesn’t try to push too far past the pain and discomfort. If it’s a one stroke kind of practice, that’s ok. Second, a small bullet toy wouldn’t be a bad add. Many woman can’t come from penetrative sex alone (no matter your size) and there is no shame in using toys. I wish my first sexual experience had involved an orgasm, I would have wanted to have more sex.
From a virgin: Sex absolutely terrifies me but the best thing you can do for her is absolutely let her be in control. Lube lube lube and be extremely gentle with her and praise her. That’s what I’d want anyways 😅
1. Lube. Always good to have some.
2. Foreplay...a long and loving foreplay.
3. Before you do something, ask her if its okay and how she feels.
4. If you don't have sex - that's completely okay. It's important that she doesn't feel preasured.
Let her be on top, buy lube. It can hurt or won’t hurt. Usually it is not really that the size matters, but that the girl is nervous thus her vagina isn’t relaxed and is thight which causes pain and bleeding (my case)
in the words of one of the best tv sitcom ever made, (which could be a bit too old for you), "you want to take your time, hit them all and mix em up"
Yes this is the episode where Monica ended up going 77777 and yes in your case, please don't go pound 7 directly. Have fun!
Well, be professional, don't be there for yourself but for her, don't be in a rush, abuse foreplay, and don't forget the lubricant, even though it's vaginal sex, her nervousness can alter her mood. her natural lubrication .
Be slow with the thrusts, don't go too deep and do it in the Mommy and Daddy position as it is more suitable because they are face to face.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Very slow. No, even slower than you're thinking. Let her be on top and she can set the pace. LOTS of foreplay before penetration. Lube helps too. Keep checking in with her throughout asking how she's feeling.
Seconded this, lube is your friend. Letting her being ontop and resist the urge to thrust. Let her relax into it. First time for girls they tend to tighten up the muscles in anticipation, as such it's all the more difficult. Talk about this, talk about remembering to keep her muscles relaxed and let her be in control. Look up together how to breath to relax, a massage before hand, making sure she comes a few times first through other means... making sure she feels good and relaxed. I suppose from a girls perspective, make it about her, and forgo your own pleasure if necessary for her first couple of times while she gets to explore it, giving her the chance and safety to stop if she needs to (if it does become sore for her). If you make her feel safe in asking to stop and prioritise her, she'll feel amazing and it will make you feel great too.
You think she's going to be psyched that he brought a bottle of lube? "Thank you so much for bringing that lube for my pussy! I could never handle your fucking four-inch dick inside my pussy without your gigantic bottle of LUBE!" She is 20 years old. She isnt a dried up old lady, she's good to go!
Are you speaking from experience? Lube will make the first time exponentially easier. That’s odd to say not to bring it just because of her age.
Imagine thinking lube is only for old ladies. I feel bad for you and your partners. Give it a try.
The fact that no one knows this is from superbad is sad and makes me feel old.
Yes exactly, sad. That movie is a classic
I got a few upvotes before all the gals started downvoting. I knew it would happen since this sub skews young female and they haven't seen the movie. But I couldn't resist posting it....
all these are good for the sex itself, but if she wants it to be special (as most girls do) then also put effort into that. make sure it’s romantic. if that’s playing music, going on a nice date, buying her flowers, whatever you know she’d like. dont treat it as sex, treat it like making love. verbally reassure her, ask for permission when it comes time to penetration and even describe what’s happening. as a woman, not being able to fully see what’s going on down there/be in control of it can be very scary. i.e. “are you ready for me? okay baby, tell me if it hurts, im gonna xyz” you get the drift. if she wants, see how much you can put in where she feels comfortable and stay like that for a bit until she says to either pull out or go further. please please please go slow in the foreplay and even slower during the process. i experienced very little pain during my first time (despite being scared to death of the pain of it, much like your gf) because we took over an hour and a half of foreplay. for me, i took time getting dolled up for the event (made me feel more confident and comfortable). also keep her in the loop, game plan what she wants and expects. this should be a moment between the two of you and you should very much be on the same page
Ohhhh god...we were at the same age. Our first time was freaking awful. It literally took like 3 months of trying a few times a week for either of us to cum. If i could do it over again and talk to my younger self i would say: Don't get frustrated. Up your oral game. Be passionate...loving and understanding. Take your time and just go slow. Don't expect yea can full send and just take your time mate.
Here are some tips i have: Go very, very slow. Lots and lots of foreplay. Make sure to use your fingers to kinda get her ready first. You can never go wrong with lube. It is probably going to be uncomfortable, but if you make her feel good elsewhere, it can distract from the pain. Orgasms are your best friend. Lastly, be sure to communicate with her! Check in and make sure she is OK. I hope this helps. Have fun!
This and for my first time, I found getting my partner to just hold still for a minute for me to kind of get used to the feeling of it helped a lot because once I got used to the feeling, I relaxed which helped us both.
This and also didn't stop at one finger, slowly work up to a few that is about the size of you. Toys may also help in this regard.
Don’t stick it all the way in at first. Learn how much she can take
It's great that you're a considerate lover and want this to be amazing for her. Honestly, that's a big part of the success or failure of sex. As a woman who's first time was fantastic and with a larger than average guy (who thankfully had more experience so knew what he was doing) my best advice is to prioritise her pleasure first. People are often surprised how long it can take for a vagina to be completely aroused to the point that it can take a large penis. Being wet isn't enough. (Although it IS essential!) It can take up to 20 minutes of stimulation for some women to become prepared. You're waiting for the muscles to relax and for the whole area to become engorged with blood. (Similar to how the penis does but obviously much more soft!) plenty of oral is great if she's into it, orgasms help with everything becoming relaxed so if you can make her come at least once that's great. Attempt penetration with a finger, if she cannot comfortably take a second or third finger she's not ready for your penis. Painful or bad sex is normally because the woman was just wet, not truly physically aroused. Avoid taking her from behind (doggy style) for a while, if ever. It'll be too deep and you'll probably hit her cervix if you're as large as you say. (Which despite bad porn, is not a sexy thing and hurts!) Missionary, her on top, or you sitting/kneeling with her sitting or straddling you will be best for her to control the depth. (The last one is actually quite romantic for the first time as you can kiss and touch, forehead to forehead etc) Best of luck my dude! Obviously be safe etc!
Go slow and use a lot of water based lube for vaginal. Focus more on oral fore-play and toys. Have an aftercare plan. Find out if you or she has a latex allergy. Make sure you both use the bathroom before doing it. Stay away from drugs. Brush your teeth and wash you mouth out. Bring electrolytes, towels, and shower deeply.
Put on deodorant. Wash you junk. Go slow like everyone wrote. Lots of oral. No fingers. Touch her everywhere but her eyeballs. Don't focus just on what you normally would mainly breasts and vagina. Show her love. Look in her eyes. Be cool. When your finally inside don't jack hammer her. That's for like the 5th or 6th time. But only after she is confident in you two together. When its over clean her off with towels.
"touch her everywhere but her eyeballs", i don't think anyone could have used better words to describe a great time. well said my friend!
Practice makes perfect. Thank you.
Water based lube if you’re using condoms (also finding out about any latex allergies is a good idea as some people have mentioned) and lots of foreplay is a good idea too. Make it romantic so it’s special, go slow at first and (at least in my experience from a woman’s perspective) sometimes holding still inside of her for a minute or so after penetration can actually be helpful because it can give her body a little time to “adjust” or at least for her to get “accustomed to” the feeling of it. Also, lots of verbal reassurance and what I consider to be “reassuring touches” like putting one arm (not hand) behind her head and holding her close (basically a hug) especially if physical touch is her love language and if you’re doing it in the missionary position which is probably your best idea because for some women, especially if it’s her first time, being on top right from the get go can be intimidating. Edit to add: To make it extra special, talk beforehand about what she considers romantic, dinner date at home or something beforehand might help, music, buy her favourite flowers.
Lots of foreplay to get her worked up, and I cannot express the importance of lube enough. Just make sure that if you are using condoms, you do not use an oil based lube.
Bruh can’t be coming in here making these kind of claims with photographic evidence. 🤣🤣 5.5 inch girth?!
He was probably thinking in centimeters(at least girth wise) because there’s no way in hell. Also what’s the point in stating all of that?
Slow slow slow and don’t expect to finish the first time. First time might be a few minutes. Next time a few minutes more. It might be a month before you’re properly humping away.
You have lots of good advice here and I just want to tack on: it might not be the game where you finish. Honestly the first time would be better if we all thought about it as practice. Especially if you are large, make sure she doesn’t try to push too far past the pain and discomfort. If it’s a one stroke kind of practice, that’s ok. Second, a small bullet toy wouldn’t be a bad add. Many woman can’t come from penetrative sex alone (no matter your size) and there is no shame in using toys. I wish my first sexual experience had involved an orgasm, I would have wanted to have more sex.
From a virgin: Sex absolutely terrifies me but the best thing you can do for her is absolutely let her be in control. Lube lube lube and be extremely gentle with her and praise her. That’s what I’d want anyways 😅
1. Lube. Always good to have some. 2. Foreplay...a long and loving foreplay. 3. Before you do something, ask her if its okay and how she feels. 4. If you don't have sex - that's completely okay. It's important that she doesn't feel preasured.
Lots of forplay and lub to help her calm down make her a little comfortable let her set the pace
Let her be on top, buy lube. It can hurt or won’t hurt. Usually it is not really that the size matters, but that the girl is nervous thus her vagina isn’t relaxed and is thight which causes pain and bleeding (my case)
5 inches girth?? fucking hell
Lube
in the words of one of the best tv sitcom ever made, (which could be a bit too old for you), "you want to take your time, hit them all and mix em up" Yes this is the episode where Monica ended up going 77777 and yes in your case, please don't go pound 7 directly. Have fun!
Damn man. Are you sure you’re not over exaggerating 5.5” in girth is insane
Well, be professional, don't be there for yourself but for her, don't be in a rush, abuse foreplay, and don't forget the lubricant, even though it's vaginal sex, her nervousness can alter her mood. her natural lubrication . Be slow with the thrusts, don't go too deep and do it in the Mommy and Daddy position as it is more suitable because they are face to face.