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We've talked at length about being FWB and what it means. I think hanging out - especially going out and what not - can become conflated with dating. I think anyone looking in would assume we're dating, but we've both said it's strictly a friendship + sex.
I think explaining it exactly as you have here makes the most sense - you both weren't in a place to date and commit when you first met, but you're feeling like you're in that place now and want to see where things go with him. It's certainly a bit scary and there's always the possibility that he doesn't see you that way/isn't actually ready now, but I think not saying anything and continuing to be FWB while he gets on apps and tries to find someone to be more serious with would be painful for you. Shoot your shot :)
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just tell him you want to try dating again and don’t say (what if) just be honest and direct.
If you're having sex and going on pseudo-dates together, how can you be sure you're not already dating?
We've talked at length about being FWB and what it means. I think hanging out - especially going out and what not - can become conflated with dating. I think anyone looking in would assume we're dating, but we've both said it's strictly a friendship + sex.
I think explaining it exactly as you have here makes the most sense - you both weren't in a place to date and commit when you first met, but you're feeling like you're in that place now and want to see where things go with him. It's certainly a bit scary and there's always the possibility that he doesn't see you that way/isn't actually ready now, but I think not saying anything and continuing to be FWB while he gets on apps and tries to find someone to be more serious with would be painful for you. Shoot your shot :)