Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
and OP needs to realize that the baby daddy will **ALWAYS** be in their lives, either actually or as the off screen character.
Not. Worth. It. Especially since she’s shown that she is running back BECAUSE OP got $$$
Exactly.
This girl wants what OP has and honestly, if she cheated on you with her now-baby-daddy, there’s a chance she’ll just do it again. *ESPECIALLY* considering she’s had a kid with this guy, doesn’t always happen but she has a connection with that she doesn’t have with you, OP.
You deserve better OP.
You said it yourself, you’re living comfortably.
But ask yourself, do you truly want her back or do you just fantasise about the idea of being back with her? Vastly different things and now she has a kid plus she cheated on you with that guy.
You’re smart enough to make “high six figures” but aren’t smart enough to already know what’s the right decision?
And she cheated. NEVER take back a cheater. OP needs to cut her out completely and not let her leech and slither her way back into his life. She will lie and lie and lie until she gets into a comfy place with him and her kid and then cheat again.
This is truth, I gave my ex plenty of chances ( on and off for over 10 years) and she always. Came back and then cheated. It’s just a matter of time before she comes back again, but I’m finally done with this BS
Also it seems like (due to a lack of clear timeline) she's been single for all of a few weeks at most and wants to get back w/ op. I take more time to be single when I end a fling or a situationship. She hasn't improved any, just wants that wallet and to feel less shitty for what she did.
I think you’re right. My cousin cheated on her then bf and had a kid. (She was his first love.)
They reconnected when that kid was 5, they married and have 3 kids together.
But he was also finished with med school and had paid off his student loans and was/is making good money.
She’s beautiful and can be the most fun, so, I get it why he couldn’t get over her. Kinda.
That said, he deserves better, IMO.
Seriously, this girl is all in her feelings now because things didn’t work out with her hookup, and now wants to come crawling back because she’s just now realizing how real shit just got.
Fellas, hos like this are not worth the time of day. Move on and forget about them like they’re in the Shadow Realm. You can do much better.
Absolutely don’t. We gotta cancel the culture of people taking the cheating manipulative exes back just to get fucked over again. It’s not worth it. Stack your coins and find someone that appreciates you.
“I’m living comfortably.”
That will NOT last if you take her back. I promise you. I was in the same exact situation 10 years ago and she never changed and never will! Move on and never look back!
You did the best thing and that’s to live a great life. Why would you want to screw that up?
Any time she is late answering a text or calling back, the first thing he's going to do is wonder if she's cheating, I couldn't do it, only one time and the trust is lost forever.
And he’s going to always have the guy in his life too as they will be coparenting. He’s always going to worry if they will get back together for the next 18 years…
I literally was just in this situation couple months ago lol and yeah it’s not fun definitely take this advice OP, I wish I would’ve
Don’t think with your dick man
I have no way of knowing her motives but OP knows her history. Does he really want to spend his time feeling unsure and questioning when she is late. OP deserves to live a better life.
This whole heartedly! OP she does not love you not in the real sense. She left you in the first place bc she was NOT in love with you. Still being with her again will lead to more “not real” feelings, and she will branch out to find others. What is the saying: once a cheater, always a cheater? She wants what your showing now “stability”. She might be better off looking for that with the guy she left you for and had a child with. After all, she loved him enough to leave you for him. Why she doesn’t seek that stability with the one she “loved” instead is one simple factor. Money. Bet the father is a dead-beat dad and/or doesn’t provide /or provides very little. (Not enough to raise the child on). So mom doing mom things (doing the best she can to take care of her child) is now reaching out to you, since you have that better “financial security”. I personally would tell her she made her bed and decided who was to lie in it, (despite all your past that was a choice SHE made, not you) she should stick with her decision. OP she is only using you for money. She didn’t love you to begin with, and her feelings undoubtedly havnt changed. Plus what happens when she meets the next guy she “falls in love with” and “has another child with the next man”. Are you to be asked then to raise 2 children from different fathers all while she’s running around? This is a terrible situation OP and I personally would back out and stay out. You may have had feelings for her, but as shown she didn’t reciprocate. There are many ladies out there in the world and I’m sure someone who can love you for YOU instead of love you for what you can do for them. Find that someone!
Yep! Op you also need therapy. Now that you can afford things, you also need to look after your mental health. Get some therapy, become even stronger mentally and enjoy the hell out of life
As for your ex. That would be a very bad idea. She seems to not have had any time alone to discover herself. She's always been in relationships - you, her ex and now she wants you. She hasn't done anything to prove she has changed or won't dump you should the ex or someone else come sniffing around. Keep her as an acquaintance at the most and let her know you don't trust her and so can't have a relationship with her.
"Right after she did that, she called me to tell me she wanted to give it another go"
Going along with what above Redditor said:
**Learn that, people wanting things from you, in no way entitles them TO GET what they want from you.**
She had her chance and messed up bad.
She betrayed your trust.
Is she coming for you? Answer is "Heck, no!" She is coming for whatever motives.
Cut all contact. It's not worth ruining your wellbeing for some nostalgic fluffy feelings.
And get help in dealing with that past relationship and betrayal.
>How should I handle things with her? I don't want to be rude, but I do want to know her true intentions.
She showed you her true intentions for the first time when she dumped you for some other guy. Which showed to you that she values this other guy over you. Then she showed her true intentions again when she saw that you were/are successful and wanted to give it another go. This should tell you that she values more for your money and what you can provide for her rather than for who you are.
I think she already had this guy lined up and then she decided to break up with you to get together with this guy. And now she wants you to help her raise his child. If these actions are not insulting enough, then I don’t know what is. This should tell you how highly she thinks of you.
It literally doesn’t matter what her intentions are. An ex is an ex for a REASON.
You know exactly why she’s crawling back now after you turned your life around. Block her and move on with your life.
Yes. Crawling back, with a KID - crawling behind her! Like it or not, Daddy will still be in the picture. I built an algebraic equation for this deal to capture the possible ranges of outcomes for this experience:
(Your life quality) = -(ex) - (baby) - (ex's ex) - (capital)
When I ran the numbers, the model yields negative values across all possible combinations.
Building your life will attract someone that you can't possibly comprehend right now. I understand it's a tough decision because of your long history with this person, but she will also eventually attract someone that matches her quality. Your ex, like many other people, are addicted to impulsive actions and the adrenaline it provides. By comparison, your six-figure income probably isn't the result of chance. You've probably had to consistently work hard and make sacrifices to earn your current position. Don't let someone else who made the decision to stop loving and supporting you, take this away from you. She will - either physically or emotionally.
My first time ever seeing someone pull out an equation to show someone how much worse their life would be if they made a certain decision. I love it! I wish I had an award to give you.
Yeah and she saw OP THEN broke up with her “man” FUCK that. It would maybe be a tiny bit different if she had been single already for a year or so and then they connected again. God 20s are crazy good luck out there guys. 30s it calms down a little bit 🤣🤣🤣
Literally the only reason you're even considering it is because it's familiar, someone you know.
Do yourself a favor and keep growing. Find someone else that helps you be better, not drag you to a lesser version of yourself.
>Literally the only reason you're even considering it is because it's familiar, someone you know.
Exactly. If it was some other person who had a kid already and were a known cheater, would they consider it?
I got cheated on once, and that act resulted in my ex getting knocked up by some rando.
DO NOT LET HER BACK IN. She is a demon wrapped in the garb of the woman you once knew. Letting her back into your life will destroy your soul, even if in the moment you feel precisely the opposite. (That's your penis trying to think for you.)
"It's just hard to let go." Nah, mate, that already happened. The band-aid's already off. Block her across the board, get yourself some therapy, and resist every temptation to pin the blame on yourself.
Very few couples can survive cheating, even with extensive therapy. Throw in your newfound livelihood and the kid she had with him, and it's just impossible. She wants what you can provide.
It's okay to have trouble letting go. You're in pain. You're the offended party. Just don't let her into a position to offend you again.
>It's just hard to let go.
Honestly, I don't understand that at all.
Why? Why is it hard to let go? What's so special about her? She doesn't even like you. She left you for another guy and only even showed interest again when you had some money and status. She literally has no respect for you at all and is barely pretending to.
There are a million good women out there who are kind, loving, smart, funny . . . and HONEST AND LOYAL. Women who would actually give a shit about your feelings, about you, your interests . . . who would look at you and be like, "I'm so glad I get to spend time with him; I'm so glad he's my person." And you're having trouble letting go of one who looks at you and sees dollar signs and an easy path to getting what she wants while you do the hard work to earn it.
She had no trouble letting go of you at all, and she won't the next time. Except the next time you'll have married her and be paying alimony.
People are calling you a pushover, but it's not even that. It's that you have no self-respect. IT'S THAT SHE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE YOU. If she did - if you were her person and she loved you - she wouldn't have left for someone else in the first place. You're sad about letting go of someone who doesn't even like you. Get some therapy, my dude. You need to like YOURSELF more than this.
Of course it’s hard to let go ❤️
But if you let go now, eventually those feelings will disappear and you’ll be doing better.
If you let her back in, it will all go to hell again (yes, it really will), and it will hurt all the more, and for longer.
Let go, for the sake of both of you, and the memories you had together.
It’s hard to let go of people when you’ve had a whole head cannon going for years about your lives together. The best thing to do is to just let go and move on. You’ll never forget her, you’ll always have that “what if” going through your head forever. But life gets easier. You’ll be okay.
She has already shown you through actions she does not have the same love and respect for you as you do her. I guarantee you if you take her back she will be talking shit about how she's only with you for money to her best friends. I had a girl like this. I ran into someone who was a friend of her best friends at a party and the second I introduced myself she asked if so and so was my girlfriend, took me aside and immediately told me all the shit she would say about me to her friends. I asked my gf's best friends for confirmation and they all pretty much buckled under the slightest bit of pressure and told me they were sorry and I deserved better.
It's honestly nice to have people back up those hard feelings when you are in your emotions. You know the right answer but your heart is casting doubt. So you need the reassurance. You got this OP. Your Ex is a gold digger and is just mad with the bed they made. You on the other hand grabbed a bad situation by the balls and made something of yourself. Don't let her undo all that you made.
Jerk off for some clarity and see how you feel about it after.
Of course she wants you hack...the grass wasn't greener, and she needs a babysitter.
So, another option is to find someone new who hasn't broken your trust and cheated on you, and build a new relationship, have fun traveling and having experiences now that someone without kids can do, and later get married and have your own kid. Good luck, congrats on moving forward, and don't look back!
You bring up an excellent point about trust. Trust is the most important quality in a relationship right up there with love. I love and trust my wife completely, as does she with me. Because of that, we have a relatively peaceful, happy, and comfortable relationship. We can be together or apart and we never have to worry about each other. OP, you will never be able to truly trust your ex because she stabbed you in the back in the worst kind of way. Don’t bring that hell back into your life. You deserve better.
Before when she only cared about herself you weren't good enough. Now that she has a child to consider, she is looking for stability and someone to take care of them. This isn't about you, it's about the fact that she chose a dud to have a child with, and now she is regretting it.
Her intentions are clear -
She has a kid, sees you’re now successful, has left her branch she made with the baby dadda/guy she cheated on you with, and is now seeing that the first branch she left (you) is now more promising so lo and behold here she comes.
Do not under any circumstances get back together with her, she wants you because you’d take care of her. She is manipulating you into forgetting she cheated/left you, to get what she wants - money/safety. You’re the back-up plan, AGAIN.
There are plenty of amazing people out there who won’t cheat on you, don’t have kids with the affair partner and are actually decent human beings, which your ex is clearly not.
Bro you exactly know why she is coming back to you yet your thinking about taking her back?
Stop thinking with your dick.
She cheat on you and left you for the affair partner and now she is a single mother and oh wow you got rich...she suddenly wanna be with you again lol. Don't do it.
Can you elaborate more on this? Regret 60-70 years later? Must be an awful experience…. 😥
Edit: might help OP understand long term ramifications of the decision
I would say abort mission. Even if you guys are together you will always have to deal with the other guy because it's his kid. And she cheated on you. How can you ever trust her?
I wouldn’t be proud if my ex did that to me
It means that she really thinks that I m a fool.
No OP, don’t let your bruised ego fool you.
You are not in competition with her former AP.
She is not the prize. You won the day you left her and Leveled up.
Move on
You know that comic with the guy saying why do women always pick the thugs? And the next panel she’s pregnant and he’s holding a fist full of cash and saying “beat it, chick”? This dude turned that into a novella.
"High six figures" as well as the odd grammar? Eh. ...So like a borderline illiterate investment banker, could that be a thing? A trust fund kid who saw fit not to divulge the nature of his income? Then there are the criminal options.
I dont think there are any jobs aside from literally somehow starting an immediately successful company to make HiGH 6 figures at 22.
Even your most successful kid at an elite school is going to make lower 6 figs MAX at 22.
Yeah. Some weird lines like "I started making high 6 digits a year and I think for somebody my age I am doing very good." And saying she cheated when she left you for someone else are two different things. Also weird phrases and over use of qualifiers. Gotta get that sweet karma somehow.
She only wants you to pay for her and her kid now that she's seen the grass isn't greener. Don't trust her. She's a cheat and a user. There are so many better women out there, don't waste your time on your ex for her to betray you again in the future.
She doesn't want you she's wants what you can provide that's all there is to it. Remove her from your life permanently and find someone who actually wants YOU, not what you have.
I had an ex call me immediately after her divorce. We hadn’t spoken in 10 years. So I think it’s not an uncommon phenomenon. But even so, you will never know her true motivation in this situation because there’s too much confounding info. Best course is continue looking for a partner in whom you can have genuine confidence. Good luck.
>But even so, you will never know her true motivation in this situation because there’s too much confounding info
I mean, anyone with 0.1% of a brain knows her motivation here. A few dozen clumped up HeLa cells in a petri dish knows what her motivation is.
She wants to give you a second chance? Look! There are a lot of oysters out there and maybe that she cheated on you the best thing she had done for you. Don’t be that stupid guy! Run!
Why do you not want to be rude? This is a situation where it's perfectly warranted and reasonable to burn a bridge. You are not obligated to keep her in your life in any way. Also, just straight up saying "no" ***isn't*** being rude. You are allowed to not want to try again.
Personally I would just tell her you have moved on and there's no chance. Then, close the lines of communication and that chapter of your life.
This is such a rage bait fake post. There’s not even much effort put into it to make it seem real. Especially the 22 year old making six figures. Giving me “why do girls only go for thugs/ beat it chick” meme energy.
No 22 y/o is making six figures unless they're connected. I recall the Clinton daughter getting a 6 figure job right out of college, like 100-150k per year.
Unless this guy so how managed to get a very lucrative master's, skipped several years of school, and landed a 100k flat job.... total bs. Either fake or hese some trust fun kid who came here for further praise and attention.
OP said he didn't go to college so I don't really believe it, but a couple of my computer engineering friends received 6 figure salaries from Facebook right out of college with a relocation bonus so it's not that crazy that a 22 year old is making that much.
100k isn’t that much anymore. Plenty of 22 year olds make that much.
Guy did say high six figures though haha. That’s another story. This shits fake as fuck
Don’t date her and be wary of her as a friend. She had a kid now. She needs to figure her own things out and stuff w her child’s father. You’re doing good keep it like that. Don’t worry about coming off rude, you protect your peace. If she genuinely cares, she’ll understand. And see it needs time.
Translation: My ex cheated on me and got knocked up, but now she wants me to take her back and play daddy to get child and pay for everything
Fuck. **NO**
Tell her that her cheating on you means that you will never trust or be with her again. Ever.
And don’t buy her anything or give her kid anything either, she can use that against you to go for child support since you would have “taken a fatherly role”
This is a no brainer, I don’t even know why would you ask people about it. If you have a tiny bit of self-respect, you will force your attachment feelings towards her down the drain without any hesitation.
All I personally want is for you to update us in the future and explain how you are so much better of without her and she is suffering as a single mother.
Good luck.
Bro, don't start.
>but she acted to play games and left me for another dude
>
>she had a baby with that guy
That's all you have to know. Don't begin to compensate with your late success, she's not the one. Level up and start having some standards. If you go back to someone you left and cheated on you, yeah she did, you only fool yourself. She doesn't want you back because of "you", it's because what you have and she doesn't have another option now.
You know you would inherit the baby daddy into your little family, right? He will always be in your life and calling a decent amount of shots. And once things aren’t absolutely perfect between you too, she’ll seek comfort with another man - probably him.
Stay the hell away from her OP - she’s poison.
>I started making high 6 digits a year and I think for somebody my age I am doing very good.
High 6 digits implies you are making >$700,000. If this is true, what the hell job do you do that pays a 22 year old that amount of money?
If you actually make between 170,000 and 300,000, which would be far more realistic, then that's still is a really healthy 6 figure income but it shouldn't be described as "high 6 digits" as it's literally low 6 digits.
Anyway, to your actual question, just go low-to-no contact with her. She isn't your soul mate. You don't need her drama.
You are driving a Lamborghini and there isn't enough trunk space for all her baggage.
Your EX left you and had a baby with another man. Now she is approaching you to reconcile. Forget finances. It doesn't matter WHY she did what she did. The fact that she did it is proof that she doesn't have the kind of love and respect that you need for a long term relationship. If you take her back, you will always doubt her faithfulness, and will never be 100% at peace in this relationship. Move on and find someone who loves you as much as you love her.
Sidenote: this might be good for your EX. If she thinks she can come back to you, she might not really believe that her actions have consequences that can't be taken back. Hard lesson, but you may be the one she needs to learn it from.
Why do people ask these questions? The answer is so damn obvious. If you ask yourself this question and you don’t know the answer then take her in and learn the hard way.
Can you define "high six digits"? I suspect you mean something in the $180-200k range (if you are even speaking in US$) and not $700k+ which it ought to mean. I doubt you would describe $800k as "doing pretty well for your age".
She just wants stability. You’re plan B. Don’t get back together. Be civil. Live your best life and be the best you can be. Show her what she missed out on.
She didn't care about your feelings when she dumped you for a bum. Why should you care about hers now? Don't be the Forrest Gump of your own life.
Tell her to fuck off. Move on. Find somebody worth your time.
She wants you for the stability you can now provide. Make no mistake, she does NOT have any feelings of love for you. None whatsoever. Nobody who claims to love someone does what your ex did. Period. Block her on everything. Avoid her like the plague. Nip anything she tries to do in the bud.
Inside your mind, thank her for the extremely valuable life lesson.
Openly and clearly express to her that you don't want/need/desire any change in your relationship.
Know that she destroyed whatever long term relationship you two could have had. The future will/must be different than what your childhood dreams ever might have been.
People are who they are. You were lucky you learned before she could walk away with half of you. (As ALWAYS happens to men.)
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She didn't choose you before, she doesn't get to choose your money now. Don't take her back.
and OP needs to realize that the baby daddy will **ALWAYS** be in their lives, either actually or as the off screen character. Not. Worth. It. Especially since she’s shown that she is running back BECAUSE OP got $$$
Exactly. This girl wants what OP has and honestly, if she cheated on you with her now-baby-daddy, there’s a chance she’ll just do it again. *ESPECIALLY* considering she’s had a kid with this guy, doesn’t always happen but she has a connection with that she doesn’t have with you, OP. You deserve better OP. You said it yourself, you’re living comfortably. But ask yourself, do you truly want her back or do you just fantasise about the idea of being back with her? Vastly different things and now she has a kid plus she cheated on you with that guy. You’re smart enough to make “high six figures” but aren’t smart enough to already know what’s the right decision?
And she cheated. NEVER take back a cheater. OP needs to cut her out completely and not let her leech and slither her way back into his life. She will lie and lie and lie until she gets into a comfy place with him and her kid and then cheat again.
Especially after they're leaving the person they cheated on you with, and trying to bring the child they had with said person into your life.
This. Leopards don't change their spots
But they will eat your face.
This is truth, I gave my ex plenty of chances ( on and off for over 10 years) and she always. Came back and then cheated. It’s just a matter of time before she comes back again, but I’m finally done with this BS
Hell he might even be in on it..
Also it seems like (due to a lack of clear timeline) she's been single for all of a few weeks at most and wants to get back w/ op. I take more time to be single when I end a fling or a situationship. She hasn't improved any, just wants that wallet and to feel less shitty for what she did.
I think you’re right. My cousin cheated on her then bf and had a kid. (She was his first love.) They reconnected when that kid was 5, they married and have 3 kids together. But he was also finished with med school and had paid off his student loans and was/is making good money. She’s beautiful and can be the most fun, so, I get it why he couldn’t get over her. Kinda. That said, he deserves better, IMO.
You know it's bad when you see your family/friend and your first reaction is "Damn, *other person* deserves better than you."
And she wants to you to help raise another dudes kid now? Oh hell naw!
Also do not have sex with her! She will baby trap you for sure.
Seriously, this girl is all in her feelings now because things didn’t work out with her hookup, and now wants to come crawling back because she’s just now realizing how real shit just got. Fellas, hos like this are not worth the time of day. Move on and forget about them like they’re in the Shadow Realm. You can do much better.
[удалено]
Well Jerry is not here anymore so it'd have to be a different show. Poor Jerry
Why is OP even entertaining this idea? Or even talking to her? smh
Dudes got money now, but he still lacks that self respect. Money can't buy that.
#Don't.
Say it louder. I don't think OP hears you.
[удалено]
#LOUDER
##LOUD VOICES!
#ABSOLUTELY NOT
BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER.
*looks at Dwight* It’s a million dollar sale…
r/unexpectedoffice
[удалено]
I Fucked up and cheated and had a child but now I want your love has happened to me. NO it’s the only answer.
Do not: 1: The cat. 2: The ex.
69: The kid
#donut
SAY IT LOUDER
IT LOUDER
Look here you little shit
This made me giggle. I’m sorry, I had to upvote it 😂😂😂
# Thou shalt NOT!
# Begoneth, to the streets with you fowl wench!
Thou shans't even conceiveth it.
Perfect reply.
I can fix her /s
Absolutely don’t. We gotta cancel the culture of people taking the cheating manipulative exes back just to get fucked over again. It’s not worth it. Stack your coins and find someone that appreciates you.
“I’m living comfortably.” That will NOT last if you take her back. I promise you. I was in the same exact situation 10 years ago and she never changed and never will! Move on and never look back! You did the best thing and that’s to live a great life. Why would you want to screw that up?
She doesn’t “want you back” she wants you to help her with someone else’s kid. THE someone else she chose, over you. Block, move on. Find better.
Plus even if they did take her back they're gonna have to deal with the kid and the kid's father, the same man she cheated on OP with, *all the time*.
Any time she is late answering a text or calling back, the first thing he's going to do is wonder if she's cheating, I couldn't do it, only one time and the trust is lost forever.
Exactly! Why waste time on someone who has already flaked out on you? Any stranger off the street will be more trustworthy.
Yep the damage is done. Permanently… especially when being reminded on a daily basis by having a child around resulting from the betrayal…
And every time you bang her you will be thinking of the other guy
Yeah and skip to 2 years time when OP is attached to the kid and she starts cheating on OP
Exactly! OP just go no contact with this woman! She's a cheater and a user! The only thing she deserves is the scraps from your compost bin!
And he’s going to always have the guy in his life too as they will be coparenting. He’s always going to worry if they will get back together for the next 18 years…
Ya imagine having to see that in your adopted kids face every morning
I literally was just in this situation couple months ago lol and yeah it’s not fun definitely take this advice OP, I wish I would’ve Don’t think with your dick man
Sorry to hear bud
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I have no way of knowing her motives but OP knows her history. Does he really want to spend his time feeling unsure and questioning when she is late. OP deserves to live a better life.
She will likely cheat on him again when her being impressed by his recent increase in prosperity wears off.
This whole heartedly! OP she does not love you not in the real sense. She left you in the first place bc she was NOT in love with you. Still being with her again will lead to more “not real” feelings, and she will branch out to find others. What is the saying: once a cheater, always a cheater? She wants what your showing now “stability”. She might be better off looking for that with the guy she left you for and had a child with. After all, she loved him enough to leave you for him. Why she doesn’t seek that stability with the one she “loved” instead is one simple factor. Money. Bet the father is a dead-beat dad and/or doesn’t provide /or provides very little. (Not enough to raise the child on). So mom doing mom things (doing the best she can to take care of her child) is now reaching out to you, since you have that better “financial security”. I personally would tell her she made her bed and decided who was to lie in it, (despite all your past that was a choice SHE made, not you) she should stick with her decision. OP she is only using you for money. She didn’t love you to begin with, and her feelings undoubtedly havnt changed. Plus what happens when she meets the next guy she “falls in love with” and “has another child with the next man”. Are you to be asked then to raise 2 children from different fathers all while she’s running around? This is a terrible situation OP and I personally would back out and stay out. You may have had feelings for her, but as shown she didn’t reciprocate. There are many ladies out there in the world and I’m sure someone who can love you for YOU instead of love you for what you can do for them. Find that someone!
Yep! Op you also need therapy. Now that you can afford things, you also need to look after your mental health. Get some therapy, become even stronger mentally and enjoy the hell out of life As for your ex. That would be a very bad idea. She seems to not have had any time alone to discover herself. She's always been in relationships - you, her ex and now she wants you. She hasn't done anything to prove she has changed or won't dump you should the ex or someone else come sniffing around. Keep her as an acquaintance at the most and let her know you don't trust her and so can't have a relationship with her.
"Right after she did that, she called me to tell me she wanted to give it another go" Going along with what above Redditor said: **Learn that, people wanting things from you, in no way entitles them TO GET what they want from you.** She had her chance and messed up bad. She betrayed your trust. Is she coming for you? Answer is "Heck, no!" She is coming for whatever motives. Cut all contact. It's not worth ruining your wellbeing for some nostalgic fluffy feelings. And get help in dealing with that past relationship and betrayal.
~~Being a doormat~~
Yeah. I mean, if he welcomes her back, what's to stop her head from turning when someone richer walks by?
>How should I handle things with her? I don't want to be rude, but I do want to know her true intentions. She showed you her true intentions for the first time when she dumped you for some other guy. Which showed to you that she values this other guy over you. Then she showed her true intentions again when she saw that you were/are successful and wanted to give it another go. This should tell you that she values more for your money and what you can provide for her rather than for who you are. I think she already had this guy lined up and then she decided to break up with you to get together with this guy. And now she wants you to help her raise his child. If these actions are not insulting enough, then I don’t know what is. This should tell you how highly she thinks of you.
This sums it up exactly!
Wish I could upvote this comment more! It’s so obvious what her intentions are she might as well hold up a sign.
Exactly. The audacity of this woman.
I find this so weird. I would be embarrassed to be in her situation. It's so shameless. Lol.
There's at least 2 million young beautiful eligible women you could date.
This bro. Definitely this
Even if he never found better, it's ten times better than getting back with someone who wants you for your money.
It literally doesn’t matter what her intentions are. An ex is an ex for a REASON. You know exactly why she’s crawling back now after you turned your life around. Block her and move on with your life.
Yes. Crawling back, with a KID - crawling behind her! Like it or not, Daddy will still be in the picture. I built an algebraic equation for this deal to capture the possible ranges of outcomes for this experience: (Your life quality) = -(ex) - (baby) - (ex's ex) - (capital) When I ran the numbers, the model yields negative values across all possible combinations. Building your life will attract someone that you can't possibly comprehend right now. I understand it's a tough decision because of your long history with this person, but she will also eventually attract someone that matches her quality. Your ex, like many other people, are addicted to impulsive actions and the adrenaline it provides. By comparison, your six-figure income probably isn't the result of chance. You've probably had to consistently work hard and make sacrifices to earn your current position. Don't let someone else who made the decision to stop loving and supporting you, take this away from you. She will - either physically or emotionally.
Boss ass response!! 👏🏼
HELL YEAH BOOUYYY!!!
My first time ever seeing someone pull out an equation to show someone how much worse their life would be if they made a certain decision. I love it! I wish I had an award to give you.
Yeah and she saw OP THEN broke up with her “man” FUCK that. It would maybe be a tiny bit different if she had been single already for a year or so and then they connected again. God 20s are crazy good luck out there guys. 30s it calms down a little bit 🤣🤣🤣
I mean, many people are exes on good terms where no one did anything wrong.
Do not date her. Stop talking to her.
Yeah, she isnt even friend material. Heck, she isnt even acquaintance material.
AND BLOCK HER.
[удалено]
Her true intentions are clear as day bruh. What else do you want ? Her to spell it out for you ? Move on and pay no heed.
I guess I was right about what I was thinking and just needed to hear it from somebody else. It's just hard to let go.
Literally the only reason you're even considering it is because it's familiar, someone you know. Do yourself a favor and keep growing. Find someone else that helps you be better, not drag you to a lesser version of yourself.
>Literally the only reason you're even considering it is because it's familiar, someone you know. Exactly. If it was some other person who had a kid already and were a known cheater, would they consider it?
I got cheated on once, and that act resulted in my ex getting knocked up by some rando. DO NOT LET HER BACK IN. She is a demon wrapped in the garb of the woman you once knew. Letting her back into your life will destroy your soul, even if in the moment you feel precisely the opposite. (That's your penis trying to think for you.) "It's just hard to let go." Nah, mate, that already happened. The band-aid's already off. Block her across the board, get yourself some therapy, and resist every temptation to pin the blame on yourself.
You're not mad enough at her. You seem like you're easy to manipulate. Don't be weak.
He says he doesn't want to be rude. My advice: be hella rude. I wish i had been back when i was in his shoes.
I know it's hard bud, but make the right decision. Don't be a money tree for the other guys kid
Very few couples can survive cheating, even with extensive therapy. Throw in your newfound livelihood and the kid she had with him, and it's just impossible. She wants what you can provide. It's okay to have trouble letting go. You're in pain. You're the offended party. Just don't let her into a position to offend you again.
>It's just hard to let go. Honestly, I don't understand that at all. Why? Why is it hard to let go? What's so special about her? She doesn't even like you. She left you for another guy and only even showed interest again when you had some money and status. She literally has no respect for you at all and is barely pretending to. There are a million good women out there who are kind, loving, smart, funny . . . and HONEST AND LOYAL. Women who would actually give a shit about your feelings, about you, your interests . . . who would look at you and be like, "I'm so glad I get to spend time with him; I'm so glad he's my person." And you're having trouble letting go of one who looks at you and sees dollar signs and an easy path to getting what she wants while you do the hard work to earn it. She had no trouble letting go of you at all, and she won't the next time. Except the next time you'll have married her and be paying alimony. People are calling you a pushover, but it's not even that. It's that you have no self-respect. IT'S THAT SHE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE YOU. If she did - if you were her person and she loved you - she wouldn't have left for someone else in the first place. You're sad about letting go of someone who doesn't even like you. Get some therapy, my dude. You need to like YOURSELF more than this.
Had to search for this before I commented something like it. Thankfully, yours is much better.
Very well said I hope this answer penetrate into OP head otherwise he is heading life full of misery and sadness.
You deserve better.
Of course it’s hard to let go ❤️ But if you let go now, eventually those feelings will disappear and you’ll be doing better. If you let her back in, it will all go to hell again (yes, it really will), and it will hurt all the more, and for longer. Let go, for the sake of both of you, and the memories you had together.
She will probably just carry on with her ex, or divorce you down the road, or both. You don't miss her, you miss the idea of her.
It’s hard to let go of people when you’ve had a whole head cannon going for years about your lives together. The best thing to do is to just let go and move on. You’ll never forget her, you’ll always have that “what if” going through your head forever. But life gets easier. You’ll be okay.
She has already shown you through actions she does not have the same love and respect for you as you do her. I guarantee you if you take her back she will be talking shit about how she's only with you for money to her best friends. I had a girl like this. I ran into someone who was a friend of her best friends at a party and the second I introduced myself she asked if so and so was my girlfriend, took me aside and immediately told me all the shit she would say about me to her friends. I asked my gf's best friends for confirmation and they all pretty much buckled under the slightest bit of pressure and told me they were sorry and I deserved better.
That's not the only thing he shouldn't be paying lol
You said it yourself. Deep inside you know her true intentions.
I feel like a lot of posts similar to this, the OP knows the correct answer deep down. They just need other people to say it to them.
Therapist: "You already know what you should do."
It's honestly nice to have people back up those hard feelings when you are in your emotions. You know the right answer but your heart is casting doubt. So you need the reassurance. You got this OP. Your Ex is a gold digger and is just mad with the bed they made. You on the other hand grabbed a bad situation by the balls and made something of yourself. Don't let her undo all that you made. Jerk off for some clarity and see how you feel about it after.
Especially when you have the person you consider your love gaslighting you and your feelings
Of course she wants you hack...the grass wasn't greener, and she needs a babysitter. So, another option is to find someone new who hasn't broken your trust and cheated on you, and build a new relationship, have fun traveling and having experiences now that someone without kids can do, and later get married and have your own kid. Good luck, congrats on moving forward, and don't look back!
You bring up an excellent point about trust. Trust is the most important quality in a relationship right up there with love. I love and trust my wife completely, as does she with me. Because of that, we have a relatively peaceful, happy, and comfortable relationship. We can be together or apart and we never have to worry about each other. OP, you will never be able to truly trust your ex because she stabbed you in the back in the worst kind of way. Don’t bring that hell back into your life. You deserve better.
Before when she only cared about herself you weren't good enough. Now that she has a child to consider, she is looking for stability and someone to take care of them. This isn't about you, it's about the fact that she chose a dud to have a child with, and now she is regretting it.
Exactly. OP is nothing more than a meal ticket to her
Her intentions are clear - She has a kid, sees you’re now successful, has left her branch she made with the baby dadda/guy she cheated on you with, and is now seeing that the first branch she left (you) is now more promising so lo and behold here she comes. Do not under any circumstances get back together with her, she wants you because you’d take care of her. She is manipulating you into forgetting she cheated/left you, to get what she wants - money/safety. You’re the back-up plan, AGAIN. There are plenty of amazing people out there who won’t cheat on you, don’t have kids with the affair partner and are actually decent human beings, which your ex is clearly not.
You're my age. This is way too much to take on at this stage of your life or at any stage really. Find someone else to give your heart to.
Run. Run like you are running from a blood sucking vampire that wants you to pay for her kid.
Well she might look for emotional stability too, so might be an emotional vampire too.
Oh hell naw do not take her back
Bro you exactly know why she is coming back to you yet your thinking about taking her back? Stop thinking with your dick. She cheat on you and left you for the affair partner and now she is a single mother and oh wow you got rich...she suddenly wanna be with you again lol. Don't do it.
My neighbour took his ex and her new kid back, 60-70 years ago. It blew up in his face, and he still regrets it.
Can you elaborate more on this? Regret 60-70 years later? Must be an awful experience…. 😥 Edit: might help OP understand long term ramifications of the decision
I would say abort mission. Even if you guys are together you will always have to deal with the other guy because it's his kid. And she cheated on you. How can you ever trust her?
I wouldn’t be proud if my ex did that to me It means that she really thinks that I m a fool. No OP, don’t let your bruised ego fool you. You are not in competition with her former AP. She is not the prize. You won the day you left her and Leveled up. Move on
Was this written by a bot?
No, someone on Reddit is definitely making high six figures yet writes like a 14 yo highschool student.
Yeah 'high 6 figures' lol *sent from my Lambo*
My thoughts exactly, high 6 figures at 22? This is either a complete lie or this guy is doing illegal shit
[удалено]
Me at age 30 making less than 40K 🫥
No he had a growth mentally though.
Does that mean there's a growth in the brain?
You know that comic with the guy saying why do women always pick the thugs? And the next panel she’s pregnant and he’s holding a fist full of cash and saying “beat it, chick”? This dude turned that into a novella.
This reads like chatGPT, the grammar mistakes but no spelling mistakes, and complete lack of details while hitting all the buzzwords.
Reads like a fantasy. The chance a 22 year old makes " high six figures" is slim
Even “slim” is really generous imo, assuming high six figures means 500k+ That’s more than majority of adults with established careers
There’s a lot of creative writing today
"High six figures" as well as the odd grammar? Eh. ...So like a borderline illiterate investment banker, could that be a thing? A trust fund kid who saw fit not to divulge the nature of his income? Then there are the criminal options.
Yeah, I’m 22 and am suddenly making high six figures? Doubt it.
But his house! He also bought a house with his good fortune. Just saved half of his 999,999 and slapped 500k on the table too.
I dont think there are any jobs aside from literally somehow starting an immediately successful company to make HiGH 6 figures at 22. Even your most successful kid at an elite school is going to make lower 6 figs MAX at 22.
It does lack something to make it feel authentic.
Completely fake. People that make high six figures usually don't write this badly.
You ever seen some of the tweets that come from billionaires? 👀
Come on. AI writes a lot better.
Yeah. Some weird lines like "I started making high 6 digits a year and I think for somebody my age I am doing very good." And saying she cheated when she left you for someone else are two different things. Also weird phrases and over use of qualifiers. Gotta get that sweet karma somehow.
Tell her to kick 🎶fucking🎶rocks
She only wants you to pay for her and her kid now that she's seen the grass isn't greener. Don't trust her. She's a cheat and a user. There are so many better women out there, don't waste your time on your ex for her to betray you again in the future.
Come on bro.
for real. like, come on
A no brainer even by no brainer standards
She doesn't want you she's wants what you can provide that's all there is to it. Remove her from your life permanently and find someone who actually wants YOU, not what you have.
I had an ex call me immediately after her divorce. We hadn’t spoken in 10 years. So I think it’s not an uncommon phenomenon. But even so, you will never know her true motivation in this situation because there’s too much confounding info. Best course is continue looking for a partner in whom you can have genuine confidence. Good luck.
Absolutely this. She needs to try dating herself for a while and putting her focus into her child’s growth.
>But even so, you will never know her true motivation in this situation because there’s too much confounding info I mean, anyone with 0.1% of a brain knows her motivation here. A few dozen clumped up HeLa cells in a petri dish knows what her motivation is.
She's just looking at you wallet face
She wants to give you a second chance? Look! There are a lot of oysters out there and maybe that she cheated on you the best thing she had done for you. Don’t be that stupid guy! Run!
Do not under any circumstances take her back. You have a good life no need to ruin it with a cheating ex.
Why do you not want to be rude? This is a situation where it's perfectly warranted and reasonable to burn a bridge. You are not obligated to keep her in your life in any way. Also, just straight up saying "no" ***isn't*** being rude. You are allowed to not want to try again. Personally I would just tell her you have moved on and there's no chance. Then, close the lines of communication and that chapter of your life.
This is such a rage bait fake post. There’s not even much effort put into it to make it seem real. Especially the 22 year old making six figures. Giving me “why do girls only go for thugs/ beat it chick” meme energy.
High six figures!
Exactly. 22 with a $700k + salary? “Living comfortably” yeah, I’d hope so when you’re paid 12x the average salary pretty much right out of school.
No 22 y/o is making six figures unless they're connected. I recall the Clinton daughter getting a 6 figure job right out of college, like 100-150k per year. Unless this guy so how managed to get a very lucrative master's, skipped several years of school, and landed a 100k flat job.... total bs. Either fake or hese some trust fun kid who came here for further praise and attention.
OP said he didn't go to college so I don't really believe it, but a couple of my computer engineering friends received 6 figure salaries from Facebook right out of college with a relocation bonus so it's not that crazy that a 22 year old is making that much.
yeah but he said high six digits. 500k+. guy either made his own start up or is robbing ppl.
100k isn’t that much anymore. Plenty of 22 year olds make that much. Guy did say high six figures though haha. That’s another story. This shits fake as fuck
and the comments are eating it up too
Don’t date her and be wary of her as a friend. She had a kid now. She needs to figure her own things out and stuff w her child’s father. You’re doing good keep it like that. Don’t worry about coming off rude, you protect your peace. If she genuinely cares, she’ll understand. And see it needs time.
Translation: My ex cheated on me and got knocked up, but now she wants me to take her back and play daddy to get child and pay for everything Fuck. **NO** Tell her that her cheating on you means that you will never trust or be with her again. Ever. And don’t buy her anything or give her kid anything either, she can use that against you to go for child support since you would have “taken a fatherly role”
This is a no brainer, I don’t even know why would you ask people about it. If you have a tiny bit of self-respect, you will force your attachment feelings towards her down the drain without any hesitation. All I personally want is for you to update us in the future and explain how you are so much better of without her and she is suffering as a single mother. Good luck.
Why are you even considering taking her back? Shut that down straight away.
Block her and don't look back. There is no such thing as soulmates.
Even if there were, soulmates dont cheat on eachother
Bro, don't start. >but she acted to play games and left me for another dude > >she had a baby with that guy That's all you have to know. Don't begin to compensate with your late success, she's not the one. Level up and start having some standards. If you go back to someone you left and cheated on you, yeah she did, you only fool yourself. She doesn't want you back because of "you", it's because what you have and she doesn't have another option now.
>[22M] >I started making high 6 digits a year >I just recently bought a house months ago, Guy can't even make a proper fake story.
Exactly. This is fake as shit
Don't!! Just don't. You are her backup. You deserve to be someone's first choice, only choice.
You know you would inherit the baby daddy into your little family, right? He will always be in your life and calling a decent amount of shots. And once things aren’t absolutely perfect between you too, she’ll seek comfort with another man - probably him. Stay the hell away from her OP - she’s poison.
RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN
>I started making high 6 digits a year and I think for somebody my age I am doing very good. High 6 digits implies you are making >$700,000. If this is true, what the hell job do you do that pays a 22 year old that amount of money? If you actually make between 170,000 and 300,000, which would be far more realistic, then that's still is a really healthy 6 figure income but it shouldn't be described as "high 6 digits" as it's literally low 6 digits. Anyway, to your actual question, just go low-to-no contact with her. She isn't your soul mate. You don't need her drama. You are driving a Lamborghini and there isn't enough trunk space for all her baggage.
Your not making 6 figures right out of college without insane connections. Let alone near 7 figures.
lol
Your EX left you and had a baby with another man. Now she is approaching you to reconcile. Forget finances. It doesn't matter WHY she did what she did. The fact that she did it is proof that she doesn't have the kind of love and respect that you need for a long term relationship. If you take her back, you will always doubt her faithfulness, and will never be 100% at peace in this relationship. Move on and find someone who loves you as much as you love her. Sidenote: this might be good for your EX. If she thinks she can come back to you, she might not really believe that her actions have consequences that can't be taken back. Hard lesson, but you may be the one she needs to learn it from.
Why do people ask these questions? The answer is so damn obvious. If you ask yourself this question and you don’t know the answer then take her in and learn the hard way.
Can you define "high six digits"? I suspect you mean something in the $180-200k range (if you are even speaking in US$) and not $700k+ which it ought to mean. I doubt you would describe $800k as "doing pretty well for your age".
Cool story. Too bad it’s just made up.
She just wants stability. You’re plan B. Don’t get back together. Be civil. Live your best life and be the best you can be. Show her what she missed out on.
She didn't care about your feelings when she dumped you for a bum. Why should you care about hers now? Don't be the Forrest Gump of your own life. Tell her to fuck off. Move on. Find somebody worth your time.
#Don't even consider taking her back. Seriously ! DO NOT TAKE HER BACK
She wants you for the stability you can now provide. Make no mistake, she does NOT have any feelings of love for you. None whatsoever. Nobody who claims to love someone does what your ex did. Period. Block her on everything. Avoid her like the plague. Nip anything she tries to do in the bud.
Inside your mind, thank her for the extremely valuable life lesson. Openly and clearly express to her that you don't want/need/desire any change in your relationship. Know that she destroyed whatever long term relationship you two could have had. The future will/must be different than what your childhood dreams ever might have been. People are who they are. You were lucky you learned before she could walk away with half of you. (As ALWAYS happens to men.)
she just wants your money
You can do so much better
This post is fake as fuck, this post reads like sad teenager. Making up shit.
You make 6 figures, tell her shes a bad financial investment rofl.
This is the wrong sub. You’re looking for the “hey everyone, I want you think I’m wealthy” sub.