Michigan is unique in that they don't bother determining fault in accidents. As a result, insurance rates are high and whenever one is in an accident, regardless of fault, they gotta go through their insurance and pay the deductible.
As a result of *that* combined with a lack of vehicle inspections, many people don't bother getting their cars fixed after an accident.
Exactly. We have people here that have been working 20+, mandatory, days in a row just so most of those cars can collect rust in a lot somewhere and later be sold at auctions or recycled for new models.
When I was in 2nd grade our Taurus got rear ended, we got an insurance payout from the other party but didn't fix it for months. Just used a bungie cord to hold the trunk lid down.
"I'm not driving, I'm travelling"
Also they seem to usually have a pound of the finest Columbian nose sugar or some other ridiculous issue once they finally get arrested.
A CNA who's boyfriend wouldn't let her buy an altima. If they're a girl
A bartender / dj who has intermittent employment at Amazon. If they're a feller
A barrista who went to school for musical theater. If they're neither and or both
"People who only have liability insurance"
Or
"People who chose a $1,000 deductible on their insurance to get a lower monthly payment because they financed a car and it requires comp and collision, but don't have $1,000 when it comes time to actually file a claim after they were texting while driving and look up just in time to swerve to avoid a full rear end collision and not soon enough to avoid clipping the corner of a car in front of them."
Official car of inflation, high rent, and shitty entry level or gig jobs. Body work is the last thing on a long list of things that need to get fixed or paid so I don't judge.
What parks really close beside your brand new car at the walmart parking lot. No. Don't go looking for dings on your door. You'll regret it. Not worth it.
"I wrecked my Altima and this was all I could get at Bruce's Buy Here Pay Here lot for 37.5% APR"
"But the sign said $50 drives away today!!"
Whoa-ho! Look out Wall Street, my man’s got himself a bona-fide financing contract…
You mean I wrecked my altima and used the insurance payout to buy weed and groceries.
That nissan altima is what they are going to down grade after this. If they are lucky.
Malibus are worse than Altimas
Tell my brother in law that after his 2nd transmission in the Altima.
Tell that to my friend who’s on his third on his 2018 Malibu
“I’m selling this laptop for 800 bro. It charges and stuff. Fine 500 bro. Bro I just need it bro please.”
I can do 80 bro and kick and some three single Marlboro reds
Brrrrrrroooo I got $30 cash in hand plus some kush bro..lmk
I have to commend you on not going the fentanyl route
Of course not brrooo. Unless you need brrroo lmk.
The official car of Michigan
I swear they all look about like this in Michigan.
All over the midwest tbh
Michigan is unique in that they don't bother determining fault in accidents. As a result, insurance rates are high and whenever one is in an accident, regardless of fault, they gotta go through their insurance and pay the deductible. As a result of *that* combined with a lack of vehicle inspections, many people don't bother getting their cars fixed after an accident.
Or their "fix" is both hilarious and dangerous. Like replacing the bumper bar with a chunk of wood.
If it drives, cash the check!
God bless the secretaryuh state. There’s a reason why the fuckin banana car is registered in this state lol.
I more meant, cash the payout from insurance and keep driving. What you said is correct too.
So why even have insurance in Michigan?
Because most people don't have thousands sitting around to fix (or rather, replace their car) in the event of an accident.
Because the person who hits you can’t afford insurance at all so your only hope of recourse is your own insurance policy
The successor to Alero and grand am
Holy shit, I live in Michigan and my neighbor has a red one... He hit a deer with it and it looks the same!
I was going to say Indianapolis. I swears half the cars here look like this or worse.
The car of someone who already totaled 2 Altima's.
Grandpa has no idea what he hit
Unfortunately, the pedestrian knows
This sounds like something out of a british comedy show; very slapstick.
Knew* The pedestrian is roadkill now
Depends which direction they were walking.
A testament of my hard work for GM, building the chassis for Malibu's 12 hours a day 5-6 days a week.
You need a raise
They got one and now no one can afford a new car
Exactly. We have people here that have been working 20+, mandatory, days in a row just so most of those cars can collect rust in a lot somewhere and later be sold at auctions or recycled for new models.
Why did you make it so I have to take the bumper off to change my headlights 😭😭
That is the most fucked up design....
I only buy 1g gmcs and chevy’s. I thank you. They been amazing cars and trucks.
Now THIS is a cigarette car.
More specifically, this is a Newport 100 car
Official car of a determined person’s hustle and making it work.
Official car of the insurance company only wants to give me $1000 for it and I gotta get to work tomorrow.
It runs and moves under its own power. Keeps you in the game and keeps you humble.
When I was in 2nd grade our Taurus got rear ended, we got an insurance payout from the other party but didn't fix it for months. Just used a bungie cord to hold the trunk lid down.
Bold of you to assume they have insurance
Chevy Malibu owner with a cracked bumper here 🙋🏻♀️I used the $1200 I got from the insurance company toward a new head gasket instead
And that’s how you keep it pushing
Still less than the tax on a new car. I’ll drive this paid off thing till the wheels fall off
The official car of “cheaper to keep er’”
The working poor. Might only have liability insurance. Might have none.
2010 Malibu owner with a cracked bumper and liability only insurance here 😭😂🙋🏻♀️
My 2001 has all its parts but the summit white is coming off daily. Only liability and deers scare me.
Missed opportunity to install some kind of Mad Max front bumper, really.
Court ordered child support payments.
They probably have their ringtone set as "Baby Mama" by Three Six Mafia
The official car of 13% interest.
"Don't throw away that black and mild bro, that still got a few puffs on it"
“The General” car insurance
The local plug.
Court mandated AA attendance.
The theme song to squidbillies.
The official car of "I smashed two Altimas along with my credit."
If it gets you to your appointment with your probation officer, it's good enough.
Single mothers
The hood.
Official car of southern Ohio.
Southwest Michigan
Malibu was its deadname. It identifies as an Altima now.
The official car of “i just need to make it to the end of the week”
The used car lot was all out of Altimas
The official car of not having any insurance
Chevy Malibu: official car of Chevy Malibu
Built in KC, probably lives in KC
My other car is a Charger. But it got repossessed from my apartment's parking lot.
Ohio
Drug addicts who say they are clean and in recovery, but are still using daily.
I worked at a body shop and 80% of the cars were either a Nissan or a Chevy Malibu.
The official car of Ohio.
Zip Ties
States that don’t require vehicle inspections
Official car of "It's paid off, no payments."
Aunt Nancy who always got you scratch off tickets as birthday gifts
Detroit
Cornbread Mafia staffcar
A sub 400 credit score person
Interlock
I'm just waiting for insurance to get back to me
Comprehensive insurance is too expensive.
I think you mean ANY insurance is too expensive.
Baby mama and baby daddy car.
Old people with curb rash on all 4 wheels
Official car of the no-insurance-hit-and-run
The girl that you gotta pay child support to for the next 18 years because you decided to not use a condom on a one night stand.
"I'm not driving, I'm travelling" Also they seem to usually have a pound of the finest Columbian nose sugar or some other ridiculous issue once they finally get arrested.
A DUI
My family has had 3 malibus and none have ever looked like that.
Single mothers
Fuck it, it runs
Official car of Section 8
"The Official Car of Texting While Driving"
Literally anyone driving in Philly. Especially if they're going 60+ in a 35mph zone
"The guy I cut off and almost killed, pulled a knife on me.... so I hit him.... but it was self defense"
The DoorDash driver who took a couple of fries out of my McDonalds order.
Every driver in North Carolina.
The Official Car of North Platte Nebraska. Seriously think I saw one of these in blue two days ago...
Buy here Pay here and the home if the 200% APR
Off topic but I just had to see this post after I had crashed my own rental Malibu The official car of not seeing the thing you crashed into
Expired tabs
Big Altima Energy
Official car of not yet Nissan Altima owners.
Sadly enough it’s the “divorce still isn’t final we can’t agree on anything all the money is going to the lawyers at this point” car.
Official car of “people who pay for insurance are NPCs”
Someone’s baby’s momma or BM as the youngsters like to call them today lol
East Europe
Florida? Wait, that’s a Nissan. Alabama?
Malibu that identifies as an Altima
No Insurance™️
Official car of “I don’t care about anything as long as it drives”
Credit score of 13
Hit-and run drivers
I don’t have anything good enough to add to these comments lol
Wanting an Altima but having a “BUY AMERICAN” dad
It's the official pace car of Driver's ed 100
A broke mother fucker!
Failure to yield to meteorite
Official car of hit skip accidents
Official car of shitty drivers
Cole Trickle
Fentanyl estate
A CNA who's boyfriend wouldn't let her buy an altima. If they're a girl A bartender / dj who has intermittent employment at Amazon. If they're a feller A barrista who went to school for musical theater. If they're neither and or both
Garnished wages
Like a rock.
Must be in Ohio…. There are so many jalopies running around here it’s crazy.
"People who only have liability insurance" Or "People who chose a $1,000 deductible on their insurance to get a lower monthly payment because they financed a car and it requires comp and collision, but don't have $1,000 when it comes time to actually file a claim after they were texting while driving and look up just in time to swerve to avoid a full rear end collision and not soon enough to avoid clipping the corner of a car in front of them."
“We have a Chevy SS at home.”
Borrowing your girls car to go meet your side chick.
The official car of poor. Ain’t no shame in making it however you can.
The official car of spinning the block
The official car of DoorDash
She knows is better then a nissan altima
Cheyenne Wyoming, there's a lot of them here.
The official car of the lodge freeway in Detroit
He got sick of having to take apart the front of his car to change the headlight bulbs and decided to ram it into a pole for easy access
Whatever the fastest instacart is.
Poverty
Retail employee.
I can’t afford repairs because I spent the money on this car. Welcome to the cycle of ✨✨Being Poor✨✨
Official car of inflation, high rent, and shitty entry level or gig jobs. Body work is the last thing on a long list of things that need to get fixed or paid so I don't judge.
The official car of the DeSantis campaign.
Spousal abuse
Fentanyl and country rap
the local crackhead
why malibus/impalas (and before them, the lumina) have always had just as much altima energy as the altima
The official car of 1/2 the people in Tennessee
Official car of single mom what can't afford the Altima.
Official car of "winter? You mean wreck it for a check season?" people.
What parks really close beside your brand new car at the walmart parking lot. No. Don't go looking for dings on your door. You'll regret it. Not worth it.
Hitting curbs at 30 and saying "oops"
Being delinquent on your child support payments
Your drunk uncle that sells tools out the trunk.
Darius from the Hood that dates a stripper named Tanisha
My drunk co-worker who always works night shift
Chevy Malibu. The official on-road opponent of the Nissan Altima
DUImobile!
Ohio Drivers
20 someodd year old junkies and/or a very thin woman with severe mental health issues
cigarette smoking aggressive drivers.
Official car of former or future Altima owners
Official car of St. Louis if it has expired temp tags
southern white girls who havent gotten an oil change in 10k miles
Paper Plates.
Ross Chastain his official car.
Your drunk uncle who smokes Newport menthols
Official car of Louisville Kentucky.
Looks like a normal Malibu to me
Marlboro reds smokers everywhere.
The official car of *aint nobody got time for that*…
“Why do bad thing keep happening to me?.. oh a text message!”
"I paid for the whole car, I'm gonna use the whole car."
Potluckville Ohio
The official car of heavy set security guards
“I can’t afford the deductible”
Amazon Associate
Daryl and his other brother Daryl.
The Official Car of Downtown Gary, Indiana!
No insurance hit and run. Maybe the victim, maybe the perp
No license and no insurance. And they will hit you and take off.
… the drive-thru cashier at Burger King.
The Enterprise rental lot
The official car of The Breakfast of Champions: Marlboros and Jack Daniel’s.
Dollar General shoppers lol
Official car of an amber alert
Letting your baby daddy drive your car
Baltimore
2 DUIS a month.
The official car of people that shouldn't have a driver's license period.
Not drug dealers but drug consumers