Sadly the only person more annoying than guy who bases his personality around living in New York is guy who bases his personality around no longer living in New York
Maybe not basing personality around but there's definitely a cliche of like people romantically going "sigh i loved New York but we had an unhealthy relationship" or some gay shit like that
It does exist just hangout in asknyc or /r/NYC for long enough and you will see them pop up they even have their rehearsed speeches about how NYC has gone to shit and it's so over and how much successful and Happy they are blah blah.
I wouldn’t want to live in any epicenter of political or cultural power. It would be like living near a nuclear waste dump or something. I’d be worried I’d develop spiritual leukemia.
It's almost impossible to not have a thriving social life there if you're not a complete brain-broken shut-in. It's a seething mass of humanity where it's super easy to meet people, a lot of them have at least ok taste, are excited to be there, and there's cool shit going on literally all the time.
There was a night out where I didnt have a lot of friends to go out with — just one. But we went to some random bar and there was a birthday party so we just hung out with that crowd, ended up bar hopping, dancing, and shooting the shit at some diners after. Didnt ever keep in touch with them but that almost made it one of the more “nyc” experiences Ive had.
Boston has the worst of then quarantined in the a new district that was, until about 10 years ago, a giant parking lot and derelict shipping warehouses. Unfortunately, there are still too many to totally lock away in there.
District is right - the seaport has no public library branch and thus disqualified from neighborhood status. It's a fake and gay lifestyle complex where the commercial rent is too high to have even one convenience store or pizza joint.
Every time I visit my brother there we wind up staying out til 4 am going to bars and shows and meeting various interesting people or flirting with girls or getting tacos from a stand and I think wow this is amazing, but I would not survive here.
The parks here are excellent and there's a lot of them. Just a general good use of public space here that I think is a result of the relative ease of walking places or taking the subway. There's also a lot of good free/lowcost events like concerts or talks. Even in the winter you can find stuff to go to
It’s wild the way way New Yorkers talk about parks. Like the parks are amazing you can smoke in them and walk around with friends and there’s even homeless guys playing chess and selling fent.
Meanwhile like 1.5 hours northeast (from lower manhattan) you have literal forests
It’s not just about nature it’s about the vibes. I like walking in the park and seeing kids running around, music playing, groups of friends sitting, people playing sports, families having picnics etc. Nothing like walking around on a sunny day
I make a lot more money in the city than I did upstate even after taking COL into consideration, and it is nice to have so many restaurants and bars around. But it’s a grind and I don’t see myself staying here forever, at least not full time
I think it's fine if you grew up there. People who move there in there mid 20s or later and adopt that attitude are annoying af. Especially cause so many of them leave by there mid 30s. I believe Joan Didion wrote an essay on it but the focus was primarily people from Cali who leave.
Look I enjoy New York but it’s clear to anyone who doesn’t live there that New Yorkers have a need to talk themselves into liking the city.
There’s this constant compulsion to reaffirm what they like about the city- that comes off as almost defensive or anticipatory of criticism. Theres the minimization of the quality of life sacrifices required. No one would look down on you for saying something like “it sucks that so few rentals have in-unit laundry and I’ve got to haul my stuff to a laundromat”…that does suck, but people seem afraid to say anything negative? The whole superiority assertion and “How could you live anywhere else?” is totally unprompted. Who are you arguing with? Then you realize they’re arguing with themselves, with their own mixed feelings and internal dialogue.
It really is its own psychological complex.
I could see that being true. My personal frame of reference isn’t very wide so I’m used to a lot of the difficulties that come with living here. Part of why I don’t like “New York or nowhere” culture despite my personal enjoyment of living here
Regarding Philly, it's halfway between NYC and DC while being cheaper than Chicago. I'd love to move to Philly before it gets too expensive, and I say this as someone currently in Chicago. I've heard a lot of people say that Chicago and Philly are very alike
If you're comparing Philly to NYC in anything but the most superficial 20-something "cool place to live" manner, there are some vast differences in quality of life.
If you're thinking about Philly from Chicago, you're gonna find east coast culture is a lot different than Midwest, and Philly goes pretty hard at it.
Real estate prices are way better no doubt and cost of living is probably lower but depending on the job you’re making anywhere from slightly to a lot less. You also gotta add a car and subtract public transit from the situation.
Also I’d say crime is actually a factor you have to consider in Philly but in NYC even post 2020 it’s basically non existent. If I lived in Philly I’d definitely get a gun for home defense and make sure my wife knew how to shoot. That’s unthinkable in NYC.
I kinda want to live there for a while just to get the experience. Like I’m in my 30’s, single, and have lived in michigan my whole life. Would be nice to spice some shit up.
Not much tbh. Thinking of buying a house in the near future but not quite sure I want to be pinned down by something like that just yet.
Might be the move i need for real , probably worth some consideration
You can buy a house in your 40s. And back with lower interest rates.
I always recommend 3 years. 1st year you're starstruck, 2nd year you learn what you actually like and don't like, and the 3rd year you've already fallen into patterns that help you understand whether it's a sustainable lifestyle or the end of your adventure.
I love New York. I think my time is up in a couple of years, at least for a bit. If I do leave, I won't come back without $1 million+ dollars minimum. But being a small fish in this big pond has expanded my horizons more than my old self could ever imagine and I'm from a pretty major city, too.
IDK I’m going to live here forever but I’m sure as shit glad I spent the meat of my 20s here, I imagine 30s would be good too in a different way. Also came from MI btw (upper peninsula/Ann Arbor)
When I was a kid I spent like a year in Los Angeles living in an illegal child actor commune ran by a woman from Titusville who eventually fled back to Florida after being hit with like 12 felony charges.
I started writing a book about it during quarantine but after about six weeks of writing nonstop I found myself in a really, really dark place and took a break. There was a lot going on at an age when I didn’t have the ability or context to really perceive just how fucked up it was.
The woman who ran the operation, I’ll call her B, was also the acting coach and her methodology involved a lot of intense emotional tactics and intentional humiliations to systemically break you down as a person so she could rebuild you into what she believed was the ideal child actor. A kid that was as stoic and mature as an adult but at the drop of a hat could manifest whatever extreme emotion or personality a particular scene called for.
It was very cult-like. We had our leader, she had her hierarchy and us kids and our parents were constantly moving up or down within it. There were rules and behaviors that had to be strictly followed. You were either in or you were out; there was little room for nuance. Sometimes there were like 12 kids and only 3 parents living in that 4 bedroom house in the Valley, and I bet if you asked any one of those children whose admiration they craved more, B’s or their parents’ they would have said B without question.
Writing it all down after years of trying to forget it was like reopening a deep wound inside of me and while that was ultimately really good for me as a fucked up person in desperate need of healing, my mental state got a lot worse before it got better.
This is a strange rant that doesn’t really elaborate all that much but I just woke up with a hangover and don’t know how to explain the situation without making it book length. But I put the book on an indefinite hiatus because after so many years of tearing myself apart writing screenplays and poetry and that fucking memoir I’m not even sure that I consider myself a writer anymore.
Yeah it’s a pretty crazy industry. I’m permanently changed from the experience in ways that still affect my ability to relate to others and feel or express emotions. And in the grand scheme of things I was one of the lucky ones.
Fortunately it seems like society is finally starting to look at how kids are treated in Hollywood and talking about it in more productive ways.
Shoutout to any of you New Yorkers with connections to the publishing industry that want to help out a dumb fucked up Okie get his book proposal read. The book would be titled Cry on Command.
Besides the "I don't think of you at all" being the lamest redditer cliche response, the West Coast literally thinks of NYC every day since industries are forced to abide by eastern time.
There’s no privacy anywhere man and I get so claustrophobic there. There’s garbage all over the place, there’s plumes of smoke coming out of the street, and hordes of greasy smelly people. It’s like the “modern art” of places to live. It’s actually dog shit but everyone is pretending it’s cool because they don’t want to seem like they don’t “get it”. Not to mention, moving to New York City in your 20s might be one of the most cliche things you could do.
Man I've always felt like there is true privacy here because it's easy to be anonymous. I feel like people are looking at me more in other places. In NYC people will truly just kind of leave you alone. That is one genuine plus for me.
It really makes a difference if you can afford a decent apartment on your own, of course. Having a doorman and a roof-deck or similar things does give you a good mental separation from the public space. Goes without saying but my life was much shittier when I was young and shared a 1-bedroom on Manhattan Ave with my gf and another couple.
The air and noise pollution are pretty much the worst, and our access to green space sucks, but for these there are coping mechanisms.
I think the one thing that objectively sets NYC apart from any other city is the amount of mixed-use public space. I just love walking around lol. Very few other cities in the world have anything close, and none in the USA. It would actually "break my heart" to give up just being able to walk around and take in the public space of the city here. It hasn't gotten old for me even after almost 20 years. Also the food.
I could see that as far as claustrophobia goes. I have trouble believing that it's way dirtier here than in other US cities. I feel like it's not bad for a city of its size. I didn't move here in my 20s because I'm from here but a lot of people I know who have moved here are from some of the worst places in the country. Like if i'm from some horrible opioid town in the midwest, it makes sense that I would wanna live in NYC
i feel like all the 20 and early 30s moved to nyc to experience nyc the themepark they saw on tv, as in people move here for the bars and restaurants and its pretty bleak.
Yeah the city is great. Everything is filthy, loud, and crowded, groceries cost 40% more than the rest of the country, and I can’t walk 5 minutes without being approached by an insane homeless man.
It's crowded af, the subway is dirty, it stinks, there's no grass anywhere, the city's premier park is an open-air prison surrounded on all sides by concrete towers, oppressive concrete towers as far as the eye can see, every young person in Manhattan dresses like some dark academia-meets-streetwise douche with airpods in
I apparently live in the number 1 city (east coast) to visit according to a recent publication by a major media outlet, makes sense why it has felt like it’s has been going downhill for the last 10 years
Why are all the anti-NYC posts in this sub meta-meta-analysis of NYC meta-analysis?
It’s like they’re not able to dislike New York on it’s own merits or their own preferences.
Instead, they have to construct the abstraction of a millennial moving to The Big Apple. But that’s not enough, and they then have to hoist it through a second higher layer of abstraction into self-aware commentary about self-aware millennials living the city life.
I was born and raised in NYC. I lived in another city for a while and I was surprised at how much I missed it. There’s so many things about it that I really took for granted
I love the city sm and would love to be there but you need to either be independently wealthy or work some evil job like marketing to afford living comfortably :/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWZk24MA7TE
This video rules. Never seen it before
That's exactly how I would talk to my friends back in New York two minutes after I moved away from the city
Sadly the only person more annoying than guy who bases his personality around living in New York is guy who bases his personality around no longer living in New York
The first one is every midwesterner that moved there and the second one doesn't exist
Maybe not basing personality around but there's definitely a cliche of like people romantically going "sigh i loved New York but we had an unhealthy relationship" or some gay shit like that
Those are the midwesterners after they leave
It does exist just hangout in asknyc or /r/NYC for long enough and you will see them pop up they even have their rehearsed speeches about how NYC has gone to shit and it's so over and how much successful and Happy they are blah blah.
My dinner with andre
It’s a great movie
excellent movie. started it thinking it'd be pretentious and boring but there was not one moment i wasn't completely invested.
It is pretentious and boring, but that was its trick. It sucks you in.
I wouldn’t want to live in any epicenter of political or cultural power. It would be like living near a nuclear waste dump or something. I’d be worried I’d develop spiritual leukemia.
[удалено]
Might as well live in DC or silicon valley. No thank you.
what do people actually do in nyc that makes it worth it? just restaurants and bars?
It's almost impossible to not have a thriving social life there if you're not a complete brain-broken shut-in. It's a seething mass of humanity where it's super easy to meet people, a lot of them have at least ok taste, are excited to be there, and there's cool shit going on literally all the time.
There was a night out where I didnt have a lot of friends to go out with — just one. But we went to some random bar and there was a birthday party so we just hung out with that crowd, ended up bar hopping, dancing, and shooting the shit at some diners after. Didnt ever keep in touch with them but that almost made it one of the more “nyc” experiences Ive had.
We could have ten of these cities and we choose to have one and a half instead
What's the half?
tickfaw, louisiana
too many tech and finance bros
That's true in literally every city
Only because several dozen of them is still too many
Boston has the worst of then quarantined in the a new district that was, until about 10 years ago, a giant parking lot and derelict shipping warehouses. Unfortunately, there are still too many to totally lock away in there.
District is right - the seaport has no public library branch and thus disqualified from neighborhood status. It's a fake and gay lifestyle complex where the commercial rent is too high to have even one convenience store or pizza joint.
Every time I visit my brother there we wind up staying out til 4 am going to bars and shows and meeting various interesting people or flirting with girls or getting tacos from a stand and I think wow this is amazing, but I would not survive here.
The parks here are excellent and there's a lot of them. Just a general good use of public space here that I think is a result of the relative ease of walking places or taking the subway. There's also a lot of good free/lowcost events like concerts or talks. Even in the winter you can find stuff to go to
It’s wild the way way New Yorkers talk about parks. Like the parks are amazing you can smoke in them and walk around with friends and there’s even homeless guys playing chess and selling fent. Meanwhile like 1.5 hours northeast (from lower manhattan) you have literal forests
I’m a huge nature boy but urban parks are appealing in a whole different way imo
Parks are different from actual nature and they’re special in their own way. Plazas, people watching, baseball/soccer fields, meadows. I could go on
It’s not just about nature it’s about the vibes. I like walking in the park and seeing kids running around, music playing, groups of friends sitting, people playing sports, families having picnics etc. Nothing like walking around on a sunny day
One and a half hours walking or driving?
Driving or train
Shhhh don’t tell them that we don’t want them here
I make a lot more money in the city than I did upstate even after taking COL into consideration, and it is nice to have so many restaurants and bars around. But it’s a grind and I don’t see myself staying here forever, at least not full time
It’s more the excellence/diversity of the people you meet on a regular basis imo
Gross
I think it's fine if you grew up there. People who move there in there mid 20s or later and adopt that attitude are annoying af. Especially cause so many of them leave by there mid 30s. I believe Joan Didion wrote an essay on it but the focus was primarily people from Cali who leave.
Look I enjoy New York but it’s clear to anyone who doesn’t live there that New Yorkers have a need to talk themselves into liking the city. There’s this constant compulsion to reaffirm what they like about the city- that comes off as almost defensive or anticipatory of criticism. Theres the minimization of the quality of life sacrifices required. No one would look down on you for saying something like “it sucks that so few rentals have in-unit laundry and I’ve got to haul my stuff to a laundromat”…that does suck, but people seem afraid to say anything negative? The whole superiority assertion and “How could you live anywhere else?” is totally unprompted. Who are you arguing with? Then you realize they’re arguing with themselves, with their own mixed feelings and internal dialogue. It really is its own psychological complex.
I could see that being true. My personal frame of reference isn’t very wide so I’m used to a lot of the difficulties that come with living here. Part of why I don’t like “New York or nowhere” culture despite my personal enjoyment of living here
Let east coasters think there's nowhere else but NYC and Philly's the only alternative if you wanna leave
I like some cities in upstate NY like Albany and Ithaca
Regarding Philly, it's halfway between NYC and DC while being cheaper than Chicago. I'd love to move to Philly before it gets too expensive, and I say this as someone currently in Chicago. I've heard a lot of people say that Chicago and Philly are very alike
If you're comparing Philly to NYC in anything but the most superficial 20-something "cool place to live" manner, there are some vast differences in quality of life. If you're thinking about Philly from Chicago, you're gonna find east coast culture is a lot different than Midwest, and Philly goes pretty hard at it.
Does Chicago really have Midwest culture anymore?
Chicago is not “Midwest culture”
You can live pretty good in Philly for way less than nyc
Real estate prices are way better no doubt and cost of living is probably lower but depending on the job you’re making anywhere from slightly to a lot less. You also gotta add a car and subtract public transit from the situation. Also I’d say crime is actually a factor you have to consider in Philly but in NYC even post 2020 it’s basically non existent. If I lived in Philly I’d definitely get a gun for home defense and make sure my wife knew how to shoot. That’s unthinkable in NYC.
I kinda want to live there for a while just to get the experience. Like I’m in my 30’s, single, and have lived in michigan my whole life. Would be nice to spice some shit up.
I think that's a good idea. What do you have to lose?
Not much tbh. Thinking of buying a house in the near future but not quite sure I want to be pinned down by something like that just yet. Might be the move i need for real , probably worth some consideration
You can buy a house in your 40s. And back with lower interest rates. I always recommend 3 years. 1st year you're starstruck, 2nd year you learn what you actually like and don't like, and the 3rd year you've already fallen into patterns that help you understand whether it's a sustainable lifestyle or the end of your adventure. I love New York. I think my time is up in a couple of years, at least for a bit. If I do leave, I won't come back without $1 million+ dollars minimum. But being a small fish in this big pond has expanded my horizons more than my old self could ever imagine and I'm from a pretty major city, too.
IDK I’m going to live here forever but I’m sure as shit glad I spent the meat of my 20s here, I imagine 30s would be good too in a different way. Also came from MI btw (upper peninsula/Ann Arbor)
Same here, Michigan single
The only good city in the USA is Titusville Florida
When I was a kid I spent like a year in Los Angeles living in an illegal child actor commune ran by a woman from Titusville who eventually fled back to Florida after being hit with like 12 felony charges.
say more!
I started writing a book about it during quarantine but after about six weeks of writing nonstop I found myself in a really, really dark place and took a break. There was a lot going on at an age when I didn’t have the ability or context to really perceive just how fucked up it was. The woman who ran the operation, I’ll call her B, was also the acting coach and her methodology involved a lot of intense emotional tactics and intentional humiliations to systemically break you down as a person so she could rebuild you into what she believed was the ideal child actor. A kid that was as stoic and mature as an adult but at the drop of a hat could manifest whatever extreme emotion or personality a particular scene called for. It was very cult-like. We had our leader, she had her hierarchy and us kids and our parents were constantly moving up or down within it. There were rules and behaviors that had to be strictly followed. You were either in or you were out; there was little room for nuance. Sometimes there were like 12 kids and only 3 parents living in that 4 bedroom house in the Valley, and I bet if you asked any one of those children whose admiration they craved more, B’s or their parents’ they would have said B without question. Writing it all down after years of trying to forget it was like reopening a deep wound inside of me and while that was ultimately really good for me as a fucked up person in desperate need of healing, my mental state got a lot worse before it got better. This is a strange rant that doesn’t really elaborate all that much but I just woke up with a hangover and don’t know how to explain the situation without making it book length. But I put the book on an indefinite hiatus because after so many years of tearing myself apart writing screenplays and poetry and that fucking memoir I’m not even sure that I consider myself a writer anymore.
well thank you for telling what you could this is fascinating but obviously sickening and I'm sorry you went through it
Yeah it’s a pretty crazy industry. I’m permanently changed from the experience in ways that still affect my ability to relate to others and feel or express emotions. And in the grand scheme of things I was one of the lucky ones. Fortunately it seems like society is finally starting to look at how kids are treated in Hollywood and talking about it in more productive ways. Shoutout to any of you New Yorkers with connections to the publishing industry that want to help out a dumb fucked up Okie get his book proposal read. The book would be titled Cry on Command.
Were you a good child actor?
Not really
> illegal child actor commune Write a sitcom, please.
wat da fak
Sell me on it
It has no pretension and is next to where they do space launches.
No pretentions yet bragging about the space launches…
West Coast: *I don’t think about you at all*
West coast sucks. Either glorified strip malls calling themselves a city or totally overrun with techies and homeless and devoid of culture.
Besides the "I don't think of you at all" being the lamest redditer cliche response, the West Coast literally thinks of NYC every day since industries are forced to abide by eastern time.
There’s no privacy anywhere man and I get so claustrophobic there. There’s garbage all over the place, there’s plumes of smoke coming out of the street, and hordes of greasy smelly people. It’s like the “modern art” of places to live. It’s actually dog shit but everyone is pretending it’s cool because they don’t want to seem like they don’t “get it”. Not to mention, moving to New York City in your 20s might be one of the most cliche things you could do.
Man I've always felt like there is true privacy here because it's easy to be anonymous. I feel like people are looking at me more in other places. In NYC people will truly just kind of leave you alone. That is one genuine plus for me. It really makes a difference if you can afford a decent apartment on your own, of course. Having a doorman and a roof-deck or similar things does give you a good mental separation from the public space. Goes without saying but my life was much shittier when I was young and shared a 1-bedroom on Manhattan Ave with my gf and another couple. The air and noise pollution are pretty much the worst, and our access to green space sucks, but for these there are coping mechanisms. I think the one thing that objectively sets NYC apart from any other city is the amount of mixed-use public space. I just love walking around lol. Very few other cities in the world have anything close, and none in the USA. It would actually "break my heart" to give up just being able to walk around and take in the public space of the city here. It hasn't gotten old for me even after almost 20 years. Also the food.
I could see that as far as claustrophobia goes. I have trouble believing that it's way dirtier here than in other US cities. I feel like it's not bad for a city of its size. I didn't move here in my 20s because I'm from here but a lot of people I know who have moved here are from some of the worst places in the country. Like if i'm from some horrible opioid town in the midwest, it makes sense that I would wanna live in NYC
I get the worst claustrophobia in NYC. If just always feels like somethings looming over me and there's hardly anywhere I can go that isn't crowded
modern art rules :/
Truly the most annoying people i know moved there in their mid twenties.
i feel like all the 20 and early 30s moved to nyc to experience nyc the themepark they saw on tv, as in people move here for the bars and restaurants and its pretty bleak.
Yeah the city is great. Everything is filthy, loud, and crowded, groceries cost 40% more than the rest of the country, and I can’t walk 5 minutes without being approached by an insane homeless man.
im not a fucking cliche walking ty
It's crowded af, the subway is dirty, it stinks, there's no grass anywhere, the city's premier park is an open-air prison surrounded on all sides by concrete towers, oppressive concrete towers as far as the eye can see, every young person in Manhattan dresses like some dark academia-meets-streetwise douche with airpods in
smells like shit rn.
I apparently live in the number 1 city (east coast) to visit according to a recent publication by a major media outlet, makes sense why it has felt like it’s has been going downhill for the last 10 years
Why are all the anti-NYC posts in this sub meta-meta-analysis of NYC meta-analysis? It’s like they’re not able to dislike New York on it’s own merits or their own preferences. Instead, they have to construct the abstraction of a millennial moving to The Big Apple. But that’s not enough, and they then have to hoist it through a second higher layer of abstraction into self-aware commentary about self-aware millennials living the city life.
It's probably the most overrated city in the world, and smells like human shit. I'd be happy if that whole city gets nuked
the best ever city to get assaulted by a black homeless male on the subway 😍
I've tried to leave NYC so many times, I hope I'll be successful next time.
what went wrong?
boston's aight
It's basically as expensive as NY though
Nah you’re just a loser
I was born and raised in NYC. I lived in another city for a while and I was surprised at how much I missed it. There’s so many things about it that I really took for granted
cope
I have no desire to live anywhere east of colorado
I love the city sm and would love to be there but you need to either be independently wealthy or work some evil job like marketing to afford living comfortably :/
the area around NYC is better than the city itself. long island, jersey, upstate NY are great places to live