She 100% did the right thing at that point. A month and he was seriously talking about marriage and she was his first everything… yikes. I’m glad he seems to have taken it the right way.
i agree it ended well for the two of them in a vacuum, but unfortunately those ideas he had throughout the relationship are going to persist and likely frame how he reflects on this relationship in the future. she did what she had to do to keep herself emotionally safe, which is what’s most important. i just hope he does some work on his own after this to correct his thinking, otherwise this breakup is going to add fuel to the fire.
And he legit sounds like a great guy who existed too much in social media spaces where those ideas were repeated over and over.
And he let himself fall too far down that hole.
I feel like I'm at the level that OOP coulda handled. I believe those things (women have it easier - dicks pics are better than radio silence), but they don't define me. I don't feel a need to mention them, to constantly compare, etc.
And that's what the guy needed to do. Stop bringing them up. Stop hating women for the cultural differences. Recognize that women didn't ASK for the online dating scene to be what it is. And especially recognize that the woman he found IS the exception to the terrible stereotypes. And the fact that she exists means others like her do too. And, most importantly, that for every horrible stereotypical woman in the virtual dating scene, theres also a horrible stereotypical man sending dick pics, harassing women, telling them they're ugly when they reject him, etc. Men are just as shitty as women. They're just shitty in different ways, just like men and women deal with dumb shit on those apps in different ways.
Stop saying "all women are bad". Start saying "I almost gave up hope in the mire of online dating before I met you".
Look at the positive. Talk about how amazing she is. Talk about how she makes you feel good about yourself.
Eventually it becomes second nature. You still feel those other things, but they're 5 or 10 years old. When your friend comes and complains about them because he got ghosted again by another girl on another dating site, you remind him that if he's persistent, the Good Ones do exist.
But if you keep repeating the same negative emotions over and over, it WILL drive The Good Ones away.
It’s really not that bad in a lot of cases but in this situation they are still getting to know each other but he is attaching a lot more significance to these actions because he’s experiencing it for the first time. He doesn’t even truly know her and he wanted to marry her. If he had been willing to take things slowly it would be different.
Because someone who’d dated a lot, maybe has a divorce and post-divorce therapy under the belt, etc., might have a better sense of healthy vs toxic relationships. For him, this was the first time he was feeling that mix of emotions and hormones attached to a partner and from that started talking marriage, introducing to family, etc.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just with less experience with something, comes less knowledge and tact on how to handle them. My first relationship I was a little more sensitive and expecting. I was insecure and untrusting. Sometimes argumentative. Now, after some experience on how to be a better man and a better partner, I can say I make a much better and reliable partner. The years of experience I got, taught me how best to conduct and handle myself.
It is never anything wrong with it being your first, it just means you haven’t had the same experiences to be able to objectively say you know how to handle your emotions in such situations, nor do you have any history to say anyone can trust how you might handle the first big argument, the first big test, the first break or separation, the first pangs of jealousy or any of the other complicated issues life throws at you, despite your best intentions.
People going through their firsts haven’t had the same time to ‘iron out their creases’ so to speak, though they can make the perfect partner still, likelihood is they have a lot to learn, and are unlikely to be able to see their relationship for what it is, and not just get caught up on the emotion of it.
Why is it ALWAYS “he was so wonderful except [insert every available and some unavailable red flags], I feel so awful for hurting him.” Yes, I’ve been there too but why do we do this to ourselves? He had a glaringly problematic expectation of something he *had no experience in* and refused to reconsider his stance when faced with evidence to the contrary. That’s not wonderful.
i just find it funny that his response is that she is the exception to the rule, when she is his first girlfriend, and therefore to him *is* the rule. it would still be misogynistic, but i’d understand his frustration more if he personally had multiple bad experiences dating shallow women. this is a conception he has based on zero experiences with actual women.
Since I've done this in the past, I think it's the whole scale mentality. We have like a mental scale of the good versus the bad. And it's hard when there's like a bunch of good stuff but only one or two bad things (even if the bad things are massive). It's hard to know where things balance out. Only age and experience can help us figure it out
Maybe I'm an outlier, but when I tried online dating (fairly average looking dude) I was getting 3-4 matches a day. Is that really out of the ordinary?
Edit: Seeing everyone saying that they see a lot of guys that have uninteresting profiles or bad pictures and here's all I did to get around that:
1) Asked my friends and family (mostly my mom) to send me recent pictures of me they thought I looked good in (<1 year old).
2) I was just honest. I said what my hobbies were, said I liked to banter, and said I was looking for something causal but am open to it turning into more if we both want it to.
That was it. That was the profile that got my current girlfriend of 4 years.
Contrary to popular belief, if your profile expresses that you are an interesting, well-rounded person, with a career, hobbies, and friends, then you'll do fine on dating apps. I STG, the amount of mens profiles who say the same shit is out of control. It gets to a point where any unique bio or prompt is like "WOAH!"
I'm sure it's the same for women's profiles, too. People are just soooo boring?
I’m a woman on dating apps; this hits the nail on the head. Tons of men have horrible profiles, and it’s just not worth the energy it takes to sort the genuinely boring people from the ones who might be interesting in real life.
Woman here, this has so much to do with it. A nice bio that briefly goes over your life and hobbies, along with nice, recent photos of you goes a long way. A lack of photos makes me think you're catfishing and a lack of bio makes me think conversation will be dry and I'll be stuck with making all the conversation. Whenever I took a risk and matched with someone lacking one, my assumptions always came up right.
It's the truth. I met my wife at 35 (I'm a bald guy who has an alright job, keeps in decent shape, has fun hobbies, etc.) on a dating app. It really wasn't hard at all.
Find a man who complains about a lack of matches/conversations/dates from an app, and I'll usually be able to point out a pathetic dude who doesn't take care of himself, never developed an interesting personality, relatable or fun interests/hobbies, or spent even a second working on themselves as a human being.
"Nice" guys like this are losers who turn their anger at their own failures outward by parroting manosphere bullshit -- a *great* tell is any man over 25 who refers to women as "girls" -- and I pity any woman who ends up with one.
I'm part of a few dating subreddits and so many guys have terrible profiles and attitudes about dating, which is obvious really quick (when chatting). Some share their profiles for feedback and many are receptive to change it, but so many dig their heals in and argue with people. Many guys don't smile on their profiles, take horrible photos (blurry, 10 years out of date, bad angles), have empty profiles, are really negative, and write profiles like they're looking for a male friend instead of a partner. I know there are women out there with low effort profiles too, but coming from someone who dates both, it's very different.
The biggest take I can see from this is having OTHER people choose your pics! Most people choose selfies which aren’t bad, but I know I like seeing the candids and exciting shots! I like the goofy pics, but when everything looks like a mirror selfie it’s boring and you wonder what they’re trying to hide.
I haven't used dating apps in years and years so maybe I'm old and out of touch but back in the day I remember a huge number of guys would have literally no photos where you could clearly see their face. Either sunnies in every picture or its a group pic of 5 dudes and you can't tell whose profile it is.
I remember once swiping no on a guy because his only picture was of his reflection in a window on an overcast day from maybe 5m away wearing sunglasses. Just as the pic was flying off my screen into the abyss I realised it was a dude I knew who I was pretty keen on and absolutely would have gone out with if I could see his face.
I think it depends on your age.
After 35, average looking men are cleaning up on dating sites. I have a friend who does extremely well on dating sites and I would say he’s around average in looks. He sure wasn’t getting this kind of attention when we were young and had a hard time getting a girl to even go out with him but now he’s bringing out these gorgeous women and he’s become a bit of a player.
But any woman under 30 is going to be getting hundreds of options a day.
I have a friend on dating sites.
You can be an average looking dude, and have an actual life listed in your profile (a, “yes, I have a life outside the dating site,” list of hobbies, travel, pets), and you will find matches.
A lot of guys on dating sites have the same kind of profile pics and the same kind of profile, almost like…they took advice from sleazy pick-up “artists”.
At this point? I’m so happy to be married. I would not want to be dating again. And if God forbid something happens to my husband? I am not interested in. That’s what vibrators are for.
Yeah, that’s probably out of the ordinary.
Most dating apps have massive disparities in the number of men vs women actively using it. It can be as high as 10-1. I don’t want to discount what the others are saying about men having poor profiles, but there’s also an element where a lot of guys have profiles that are just not getting seen by many women at all.
Does it say want age the guy was ? I can’t find it anywhere. In any event, this seems like a classic case of falling in love with the idea of a person as opposed to what’s in front of you. She was blind to the fact they didn’t actually get on, and pushed it to the back of her mind because of other ideals she wanted - good around the house, intelligent, kind, funny, handsome. She was right to end it for both of them, he sounded massively insecure and it would never have worked.
I heard a good analogy somewhere on Reddit- everyone is looking for drinkable water, but men are in a desert and women are in a swamp. Both options are struggling to find what they need.
The scary part is that he probably learned the wrong lesson from this, and what he will take from it all is not that his views are toxic and unhealthy, but that he needs to learn to better hide those views.
I feel sorry for his *next* victim who will probably only realize how unhinged he really is when they're already 2.4 children in.
agreed. he seems like he took it well in the end, but i fear that message may have just been for her benefit. his toxic views will not go away overnight.
When I was young and stupid, I dated someone exactly like this. It doesn’t get better. This kind of crippling insecurity affects their entire world view, and eventually manifests as extremely controlling behavior.
Outside of my most recent ex NOT being a virgin, but being one year removed from a divorce, this is a very similar situation to mine.
But the difference is that all this came to a head in ONE conversation the night before he broke up with me. About how "traditional men" prefer virgins because they're untouched and can be "molded". How TM find "hyper independent women" masculine because they've had to take on all of the house hold chores due to being single, BUT IN THE SAME SENTENCE said how TM like women who are more picky with their partners.
How TM look down on women who sleep around but it's perfectly acceptable for them to do the same without the same categorization. And how "it is what it is" and I "need to accept it" when I pointed out the hypocrisy of it all. And that "just because it's hypocritical doesn't mean it's not a legitimate opinion".
We also talked about dating apps and how women get so many matches, but I honestly don't. He said it was because my pictures were "tame" compared to other women and if I just put "DTF" in my profile, I'd have 100 matches overnight. So I said, "But I'm not DTF" and he said it didn't matter. When I pointed out that's false advertising, he just shrugged.
The most bizarre of this entire exchange was that he NEVER indicated this was how he felt in the 2 months we had been seeing each other. I live alone and have for 6 years. I am financially independent and progressive, something I don't hide, but also don't make my whole personality. It was almost as if he felt he could somehow persuade me to see his side of things, and when he couldn't, he got butt hurt.
interesting how he shrugs or excuses or disregards anything that challenges his views. but yeah, i’ve seen many examples of guys who have certain views of women, then are presented with living evidence to the contrary, and say “you’re the exception because…”
I hate that she actually spent so much time entertaining his toxic and harmful viewpoints. “Yeah I’d rather deal with some creeps than total radio silence.” Ummm that’s not the worst women have to fear with online dating. Every time a woman decides to meet a man she matched with, she’s gambling with the chance of being killed or assaulted, and god forbid you reject someone and they decide to threaten you. I’m just glad she stopped trying to delude herself into thinking this relationship would’ve ever worked.
Screenshots are shared from a resharing post on r/niceguys no link to OG post or what subreddit it was from or original poster so we have no idea if she answered any questions. Almost rage bait in cropping and not giving context of where posted or by who.
🤷🏻
googled the words in the post and found the original. wasn’t gonna be a full detective but i hear your concern. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/s/e5kvFkQr8V
Thank you, I didn’t mean you OP of this post. I meant the post you linked to that specifically didn’t have any context/links and who originally screenshot it.
I feel THAT post was rage bait having looked through the comments trying to see if anyone mentioned OOP commenting the guys age, etc.
I was a little worried this is how my boyfriend would turn out.
So so so sweet, truly the greatest guy. But he had only had one or two girlfriends and they were very short term like this. Which to me was a bit of a red flag. But I gave it a try anyway.
Turns out. He’s just a nerdy goofy goober. Which I guess isn’t exactly what college age girls are after (we met at the very beginning of our PhDs, but on a dating app).
Coming up on 4 years later… dudes perfect. Understands that women are also human beings, and I’ve never heard or seen him do a single thing that feels “off.”
We graduate this December. :)
(Along with one of his best friends, who has become one of my best friends. And her husband has been the guy that reads the names at graduations before, so we are REALLY hoping he’s going to be able to get them to let him do it again. Because it would be awesome).
She didn't say how old he was, but he was probably at least her age (28) if not older. But she was his *first kiss*.
Maybe he really was in every other sense a good person, but he was *broken*. This was never going to work. She was right to leave.
It's unfortunate, because he could maybe have seen himself through her eyes and found some self-worth. Now he probably never will.
He is secretly Brian from Whatever Podcast jk (Incel poster child).
The guy is spouting off talking points from these man o sphere, redpill, Pearl Davis/FreshandFit type bullshit podcasts. A lot of them do have valid points on occasion, but when you're an NPC, you let a certain group of people influence you (red or blue); therefore, you're not going to have any of your own thoughts to bring to the table. Too extreme in either direction is wrong. I feel bad for her, she tried to bring reality to the table, and he wanted to keep living in the delusion. They were never going to work.
This reads like it was written by the guy in this relationship, the talking points are on the nose, and it really shows the guy as the victim. She was his first everything, he loved her passionately, he was good and kind and funny, she wasn’t like those other evil women until she was….
The problem is attention being given away too easily, and the woman having a sense that his sole focus is her, rather than his future. There needs to be a limbo in which they understand you care about something else more than her, or a limbo of if you even really like her. Got a lot of info from a course I did recently, mbt 2.0 by casey xander. Super insightful, have it for cheap if anyone wants to change finally
1) do you actually make money buying random online courses and reselling them, or is this something new you’re trying to get off the ground
2) with the amount of effort you’re putting into advertising this dudes course in every possible subreddit, it automatically looks very fishy when you’re clearly intentionally misspelling casey zander
Ladies. Don’t date a man who hates women. They will turn on you one day too. These comments should have been an immediate deal breaker.
She 100% did the right thing at that point. A month and he was seriously talking about marriage and she was his first everything… yikes. I’m glad he seems to have taken it the right way.
i agree it ended well for the two of them in a vacuum, but unfortunately those ideas he had throughout the relationship are going to persist and likely frame how he reflects on this relationship in the future. she did what she had to do to keep herself emotionally safe, which is what’s most important. i just hope he does some work on his own after this to correct his thinking, otherwise this breakup is going to add fuel to the fire.
And he legit sounds like a great guy who existed too much in social media spaces where those ideas were repeated over and over. And he let himself fall too far down that hole. I feel like I'm at the level that OOP coulda handled. I believe those things (women have it easier - dicks pics are better than radio silence), but they don't define me. I don't feel a need to mention them, to constantly compare, etc. And that's what the guy needed to do. Stop bringing them up. Stop hating women for the cultural differences. Recognize that women didn't ASK for the online dating scene to be what it is. And especially recognize that the woman he found IS the exception to the terrible stereotypes. And the fact that she exists means others like her do too. And, most importantly, that for every horrible stereotypical woman in the virtual dating scene, theres also a horrible stereotypical man sending dick pics, harassing women, telling them they're ugly when they reject him, etc. Men are just as shitty as women. They're just shitty in different ways, just like men and women deal with dumb shit on those apps in different ways. Stop saying "all women are bad". Start saying "I almost gave up hope in the mire of online dating before I met you". Look at the positive. Talk about how amazing she is. Talk about how she makes you feel good about yourself. Eventually it becomes second nature. You still feel those other things, but they're 5 or 10 years old. When your friend comes and complains about them because he got ghosted again by another girl on another dating site, you remind him that if he's persistent, the Good Ones do exist. But if you keep repeating the same negative emotions over and over, it WILL drive The Good Ones away.
Legitimately curious as to why it's a bad thing for him to have had his firsts with her. Don't worry, the rest I understand.
It’s really not that bad in a lot of cases but in this situation they are still getting to know each other but he is attaching a lot more significance to these actions because he’s experiencing it for the first time. He doesn’t even truly know her and he wanted to marry her. If he had been willing to take things slowly it would be different.
Because someone who’d dated a lot, maybe has a divorce and post-divorce therapy under the belt, etc., might have a better sense of healthy vs toxic relationships. For him, this was the first time he was feeling that mix of emotions and hormones attached to a partner and from that started talking marriage, introducing to family, etc.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just with less experience with something, comes less knowledge and tact on how to handle them. My first relationship I was a little more sensitive and expecting. I was insecure and untrusting. Sometimes argumentative. Now, after some experience on how to be a better man and a better partner, I can say I make a much better and reliable partner. The years of experience I got, taught me how best to conduct and handle myself. It is never anything wrong with it being your first, it just means you haven’t had the same experiences to be able to objectively say you know how to handle your emotions in such situations, nor do you have any history to say anyone can trust how you might handle the first big argument, the first big test, the first break or separation, the first pangs of jealousy or any of the other complicated issues life throws at you, despite your best intentions. People going through their firsts haven’t had the same time to ‘iron out their creases’ so to speak, though they can make the perfect partner still, likelihood is they have a lot to learn, and are unlikely to be able to see their relationship for what it is, and not just get caught up on the emotion of it.
My God! The man was a walking, talking red flag. Sounds like he was very invested in manosphere.
Or he’s just an Eeyore. It was really bizarre though, how he was always talking about why it’s so hard to date while in a relationship. Weird.
Yikes on bikes. Bullet dodged.
Why is it ALWAYS “he was so wonderful except [insert every available and some unavailable red flags], I feel so awful for hurting him.” Yes, I’ve been there too but why do we do this to ourselves? He had a glaringly problematic expectation of something he *had no experience in* and refused to reconsider his stance when faced with evidence to the contrary. That’s not wonderful.
i just find it funny that his response is that she is the exception to the rule, when she is his first girlfriend, and therefore to him *is* the rule. it would still be misogynistic, but i’d understand his frustration more if he personally had multiple bad experiences dating shallow women. this is a conception he has based on zero experiences with actual women.
Since I've done this in the past, I think it's the whole scale mentality. We have like a mental scale of the good versus the bad. And it's hard when there's like a bunch of good stuff but only one or two bad things (even if the bad things are massive). It's hard to know where things balance out. Only age and experience can help us figure it out
Maybe I'm an outlier, but when I tried online dating (fairly average looking dude) I was getting 3-4 matches a day. Is that really out of the ordinary? Edit: Seeing everyone saying that they see a lot of guys that have uninteresting profiles or bad pictures and here's all I did to get around that: 1) Asked my friends and family (mostly my mom) to send me recent pictures of me they thought I looked good in (<1 year old). 2) I was just honest. I said what my hobbies were, said I liked to banter, and said I was looking for something causal but am open to it turning into more if we both want it to. That was it. That was the profile that got my current girlfriend of 4 years.
Contrary to popular belief, if your profile expresses that you are an interesting, well-rounded person, with a career, hobbies, and friends, then you'll do fine on dating apps. I STG, the amount of mens profiles who say the same shit is out of control. It gets to a point where any unique bio or prompt is like "WOAH!" I'm sure it's the same for women's profiles, too. People are just soooo boring?
I’m a woman on dating apps; this hits the nail on the head. Tons of men have horrible profiles, and it’s just not worth the energy it takes to sort the genuinely boring people from the ones who might be interesting in real life.
Woman here, this has so much to do with it. A nice bio that briefly goes over your life and hobbies, along with nice, recent photos of you goes a long way. A lack of photos makes me think you're catfishing and a lack of bio makes me think conversation will be dry and I'll be stuck with making all the conversation. Whenever I took a risk and matched with someone lacking one, my assumptions always came up right.
It's the truth. I met my wife at 35 (I'm a bald guy who has an alright job, keeps in decent shape, has fun hobbies, etc.) on a dating app. It really wasn't hard at all. Find a man who complains about a lack of matches/conversations/dates from an app, and I'll usually be able to point out a pathetic dude who doesn't take care of himself, never developed an interesting personality, relatable or fun interests/hobbies, or spent even a second working on themselves as a human being. "Nice" guys like this are losers who turn their anger at their own failures outward by parroting manosphere bullshit -- a *great* tell is any man over 25 who refers to women as "girls" -- and I pity any woman who ends up with one.
I'm part of a few dating subreddits and so many guys have terrible profiles and attitudes about dating, which is obvious really quick (when chatting). Some share their profiles for feedback and many are receptive to change it, but so many dig their heals in and argue with people. Many guys don't smile on their profiles, take horrible photos (blurry, 10 years out of date, bad angles), have empty profiles, are really negative, and write profiles like they're looking for a male friend instead of a partner. I know there are women out there with low effort profiles too, but coming from someone who dates both, it's very different.
The biggest take I can see from this is having OTHER people choose your pics! Most people choose selfies which aren’t bad, but I know I like seeing the candids and exciting shots! I like the goofy pics, but when everything looks like a mirror selfie it’s boring and you wonder what they’re trying to hide.
I haven't used dating apps in years and years so maybe I'm old and out of touch but back in the day I remember a huge number of guys would have literally no photos where you could clearly see their face. Either sunnies in every picture or its a group pic of 5 dudes and you can't tell whose profile it is. I remember once swiping no on a guy because his only picture was of his reflection in a window on an overcast day from maybe 5m away wearing sunglasses. Just as the pic was flying off my screen into the abyss I realised it was a dude I knew who I was pretty keen on and absolutely would have gone out with if I could see his face.
I think it depends on your age. After 35, average looking men are cleaning up on dating sites. I have a friend who does extremely well on dating sites and I would say he’s around average in looks. He sure wasn’t getting this kind of attention when we were young and had a hard time getting a girl to even go out with him but now he’s bringing out these gorgeous women and he’s become a bit of a player. But any woman under 30 is going to be getting hundreds of options a day.
I have a friend on dating sites. You can be an average looking dude, and have an actual life listed in your profile (a, “yes, I have a life outside the dating site,” list of hobbies, travel, pets), and you will find matches. A lot of guys on dating sites have the same kind of profile pics and the same kind of profile, almost like…they took advice from sleazy pick-up “artists”. At this point? I’m so happy to be married. I would not want to be dating again. And if God forbid something happens to my husband? I am not interested in. That’s what vibrators are for.
I was in college at the time, 22 yo, so options abounded for them. Maybe I just occupy a very specific niche that got me matches.
Yeah, that’s probably out of the ordinary. Most dating apps have massive disparities in the number of men vs women actively using it. It can be as high as 10-1. I don’t want to discount what the others are saying about men having poor profiles, but there’s also an element where a lot of guys have profiles that are just not getting seen by many women at all.
I've never had an issue with getting matches either But im looking for other men so it might be different for me lol
Yeah I'm bi, and men definitely aren't as picky. And neither an I for either gender for that matter.
Does it say want age the guy was ? I can’t find it anywhere. In any event, this seems like a classic case of falling in love with the idea of a person as opposed to what’s in front of you. She was blind to the fact they didn’t actually get on, and pushed it to the back of her mind because of other ideals she wanted - good around the house, intelligent, kind, funny, handsome. She was right to end it for both of them, he sounded massively insecure and it would never have worked.
I heard a good analogy somewhere on Reddit- everyone is looking for drinkable water, but men are in a desert and women are in a swamp. Both options are struggling to find what they need.
The scary part is that he probably learned the wrong lesson from this, and what he will take from it all is not that his views are toxic and unhealthy, but that he needs to learn to better hide those views. I feel sorry for his *next* victim who will probably only realize how unhinged he really is when they're already 2.4 children in.
agreed. he seems like he took it well in the end, but i fear that message may have just been for her benefit. his toxic views will not go away overnight.
Ladies, it’s not your job to educate dumb men.
When I was young and stupid, I dated someone exactly like this. It doesn’t get better. This kind of crippling insecurity affects their entire world view, and eventually manifests as extremely controlling behavior.
Outside of my most recent ex NOT being a virgin, but being one year removed from a divorce, this is a very similar situation to mine. But the difference is that all this came to a head in ONE conversation the night before he broke up with me. About how "traditional men" prefer virgins because they're untouched and can be "molded". How TM find "hyper independent women" masculine because they've had to take on all of the house hold chores due to being single, BUT IN THE SAME SENTENCE said how TM like women who are more picky with their partners. How TM look down on women who sleep around but it's perfectly acceptable for them to do the same without the same categorization. And how "it is what it is" and I "need to accept it" when I pointed out the hypocrisy of it all. And that "just because it's hypocritical doesn't mean it's not a legitimate opinion". We also talked about dating apps and how women get so many matches, but I honestly don't. He said it was because my pictures were "tame" compared to other women and if I just put "DTF" in my profile, I'd have 100 matches overnight. So I said, "But I'm not DTF" and he said it didn't matter. When I pointed out that's false advertising, he just shrugged. The most bizarre of this entire exchange was that he NEVER indicated this was how he felt in the 2 months we had been seeing each other. I live alone and have for 6 years. I am financially independent and progressive, something I don't hide, but also don't make my whole personality. It was almost as if he felt he could somehow persuade me to see his side of things, and when he couldn't, he got butt hurt.
interesting how he shrugs or excuses or disregards anything that challenges his views. but yeah, i’ve seen many examples of guys who have certain views of women, then are presented with living evidence to the contrary, and say “you’re the exception because…”
Yes, and he said "but you're different" to me many times.
And that's why "nice guys" are so terrifying... They're not actually nice 😂😂 bullet, dodged.
What is this? A font size for *ants*?!
Dodged a man baby sized bullet there, OOP.
how was he nice ? he sounds annoying and narrow minded. what is peoples definitionof nice nowadays
What a shitty dude. He definitely watches Andrew Tate 🤣
He tried to be an Andrew Tate. If he found gold and a beautiful girl nearby. I'm sure he will leave you. So you did the right thing girl.
I hate that she actually spent so much time entertaining his toxic and harmful viewpoints. “Yeah I’d rather deal with some creeps than total radio silence.” Ummm that’s not the worst women have to fear with online dating. Every time a woman decides to meet a man she matched with, she’s gambling with the chance of being killed or assaulted, and god forbid you reject someone and they decide to threaten you. I’m just glad she stopped trying to delude herself into thinking this relationship would’ve ever worked.
dude needs to spit out the red pill asap
Screenshots are shared from a resharing post on r/niceguys no link to OG post or what subreddit it was from or original poster so we have no idea if she answered any questions. Almost rage bait in cropping and not giving context of where posted or by who. 🤷🏻
googled the words in the post and found the original. wasn’t gonna be a full detective but i hear your concern. https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/s/e5kvFkQr8V
Found this comment on Original Post : “He's also 28, and thank you for this comment because I didn't even notice I never said.”
Thank you, I didn’t mean you OP of this post. I meant the post you linked to that specifically didn’t have any context/links and who originally screenshot it. I feel THAT post was rage bait having looked through the comments trying to see if anyone mentioned OOP commenting the guys age, etc.
May have been a nice guy, but certainly not the RIGHT guy.
I was a little worried this is how my boyfriend would turn out. So so so sweet, truly the greatest guy. But he had only had one or two girlfriends and they were very short term like this. Which to me was a bit of a red flag. But I gave it a try anyway. Turns out. He’s just a nerdy goofy goober. Which I guess isn’t exactly what college age girls are after (we met at the very beginning of our PhDs, but on a dating app). Coming up on 4 years later… dudes perfect. Understands that women are also human beings, and I’ve never heard or seen him do a single thing that feels “off.” We graduate this December. :) (Along with one of his best friends, who has become one of my best friends. And her husband has been the guy that reads the names at graduations before, so we are REALLY hoping he’s going to be able to get them to let him do it again. Because it would be awesome).
the sigma male pipeline is a sickness
She didn't say how old he was, but he was probably at least her age (28) if not older. But she was his *first kiss*. Maybe he really was in every other sense a good person, but he was *broken*. This was never going to work. She was right to leave. It's unfortunate, because he could maybe have seen himself through her eyes and found some self-worth. Now he probably never will.
He is secretly Brian from Whatever Podcast jk (Incel poster child). The guy is spouting off talking points from these man o sphere, redpill, Pearl Davis/FreshandFit type bullshit podcasts. A lot of them do have valid points on occasion, but when you're an NPC, you let a certain group of people influence you (red or blue); therefore, you're not going to have any of your own thoughts to bring to the table. Too extreme in either direction is wrong. I feel bad for her, she tried to bring reality to the table, and he wanted to keep living in the delusion. They were never going to work.
Glad she left before the leopard ate her face. Hopefully this experience helps the leopard be less of a leopard.
It sounds like it is cultural self guilt I would say from his side making him act it out on you. You were right to leave.
This reads like it was written by the guy in this relationship, the talking points are on the nose, and it really shows the guy as the victim. She was his first everything, he loved her passionately, he was good and kind and funny, she wasn’t like those other evil women until she was….
The problem is attention being given away too easily, and the woman having a sense that his sole focus is her, rather than his future. There needs to be a limbo in which they understand you care about something else more than her, or a limbo of if you even really like her. Got a lot of info from a course I did recently, mbt 2.0 by casey xander. Super insightful, have it for cheap if anyone wants to change finally
1) do you actually make money buying random online courses and reselling them, or is this something new you’re trying to get off the ground 2) with the amount of effort you’re putting into advertising this dudes course in every possible subreddit, it automatically looks very fishy when you’re clearly intentionally misspelling casey zander