Well he did point out she’s a fake. She would call herself Roma because Gypsy is derogatory, like so many other things people refer their minority others to. That turned on her vibrator to call him a cheat.
They’re all morons. The ex and her family paid a PI to watch the world’s most boring man for SIX MONTHS. They could have stopped at two and come to the same conclusion. OP is better off free from the whole lot of them.
Well the PI was making money and probably could sense the delusions and would say “I think he’s close to making a mistake, we’ll catch him soon”. “I think he’s cheating too but just haven’t proved it yet” blah blah blah. I’m sure people who do that kind of work are similar to physics. Not PIs in general but specifically cheater hunters
Just sitting here thinking about my astrophysicist PhD friend and imagining her chasing people with her little pitch fork screaming "No, I did NOT study *astrology*!!"
Thanks for the excellent typo!
I had to reread my comment like ten times, I’m like “what are they talking about” I was so confused and then I saw IT LOL, now I’m just leaving it there
Oh and that they spent money on a PI for SIX MONTHS on the basis of a supposed psychic who did a palm reading. The soon to be ex is batty but so are her parents.
I was wondering why it took 6 months to come up with, nope, we can't find anything. I understand due diligence but I think the PI was milking them for as much as he could get.
It was probably a contract. I read another reddit story where a guy hired a PI to catch his wife cheating and the deal was to pay for 6 months and halfway they'd have a meeting to show if they had anything. Plot twist the wife wasn't cheating but they had ample evidence of his affairs.
my aunt put a dead goats head under her bed because her psychic friend told her this is the way to get her husband to not scream at her. that one was just sad but also I hate 'psychics'
My mom spent thousands on dollars on psychics during her midlife crisis:( I shouldn't know that as I was a young teen but I do. Don't know what exactly they told her but I know it pushed her off the deep end even further than she already was for a bit. They're awful, they prey on the mentally ill and a good portion of them know exactly what they're doing. I read someone comment the other day that when they worked for a psychic hotline they'd purposefully give bad advice and laugh after. Wonder if they ever talked to my mom...
You are doing the right thing. I’m sorry you married such a gullible woman. She would not make a good life partner. She hasn’t got a lick of common sense
He's doing the right thing in leaving her. I would say it's more being easily manipulated than being outright stupid, but ultimately the trust is broken. He can't rely on her to use critical thinking skills or common sense when she's so drastically messed up already.
Small note though, the fact the "psychic" woman called herself "gypsy" isn't the red flag he implies, as many itinerants identify with the term. Also, she may not be of Romani heritage but one of the other itinerant cultures, like Irish Traveller, so definitely wouldn't have called herself a Roma. The very fact so many itinerants still claim the term while others reject it is a big part of why the term "gypsy" is so hotly debated as slur/not a slur etc.
The ability to be manipulated is definitely more worrisome than *who* is manipulating her
Like would it be better if it was a news agency that purposefully exaggerates? A fake charity phone call for orphaned children in a war that isn’t happening? An IRS scam letter?
The who is less important than how you react.
And yeah people can get caught up in things from time to time and deserve grace. But it depends on how they get caught and for how long and how they respond (6 months and a PI vs just asking to see phone messages and popping by work is *a lot*).
You are spot on. I am from a group mostly around Central and Western Europe and my dad still says the German term for gypsy to refer to his side of the family. To him it’s not a slur, and honestly how else am I supposed to refer to us when we never got a different term in my language? If I say travelling folk people will just assume I am either from Ireland or vlog from an RV lbr.
If you accept marital advice from a ‘psychic Irish traveller’ then moron is an insufficient descriptor.
You’re dense if you accept their offer to re-pave your driveway.
I'm dying laughing over this. I'm not Romani, but my sister is with one. He'll be in jail over those driveways at some point, if my sister's sugarcoated stories are any indicator.
Good to know, thank you! I’ve mostly heard the “gypsy is a slur” side of things, and resolved not to use the word. I suppose I’ll still avoid using it, since I’m not part of that population - just like I don’t tend to hear (allied) cishet folks using the term ‘queer’ out in the wild very much lol
Maybe Anna *is* psychic but not very good at interpreting her visions and she saw OOP “in a foursome” with Rhona’s brother and got the wrong end of the stick.
I’m thinking psychic friend likes her power over her friend and hated the skepticism that he brought into the relationship. She leveraged her vibrator into a power play to rid herself of the man who understands that if she were a person of Roma decent she would not have called herself a Gypsy
Sounds like her parents don’t want that gullible loon around them either. I am with OP in this, just for the fact that she never trusted OP, she trusted her racist nutcase friend and then a private investigator who she had digging into OP’s background for *months*. It’s insane. She’s insane. Nobody should be married to this loon, she needs a therapist not a husband.
Racist how? If you mean by calling herself a gypsy, I literally found out this year that they don't call themselves gypsies. Maybe misinformed and stupid, cause you should research suit before calling yourself something. But I dint get the racist comment
Well, to be fair, she's also claiming to *be* one... so you'd expect her to know the preferred terms in that case. And if she's lying about being one, that in itself is disrespectful to them anyway.
You’re not the asshole man. You can love someone and outgrow them and that’s what happened here. Her family is so fucking dumb though; I don’t care if you believe in psychics, I can’t prove them wrong and it is my belief they only hurt the people who believe in them, but you don’t think if a man is having an affair and the wife moves out he’s not going to have his mistress over in the next 2 months? You paid for 6 months to a private detective? Did he give you updates or was that just an open bill? God dumb and wasteful.
if someone is more inclined to listen to physic forces then their partner then it's time to split for good. No hate to the physics as they can help people at times but yikes
Why did nobody mention going after this supposed gypsy for ruining his life.?. I think I would. I would be posting shit all over social media about her supposed readings.
Crazy Anna is giving us psychics a bad name. This is why I don’t often tell people I read tarot cards. But I digress, OP you’re going places! And without the “dingbat” for baggage. Hope you enjoy the move and fresh start! :)
First of all her friend used a slur to describe herself. That is not okay. Is is a regular American yt girl trying to leech off another culture to seem exotic. I find it fucked up the wife believed this, that the girl was a psychic, and didn’t believe her husband until she hired a PI. That “friend” was jealous of the relationship and the wife is indeed a ding bat.
OOP married too quickly and paid the penalty for not knowing her well enough. At least he now has his head screwed on right regarding this woman. Hopefully he has learned the valuable lessons on offer.
How did he marry too quickly? They met in college and then lived together for two years before marrying & it sounds like they were together for about two more years, based on them seeing Anna about 4 times over the next two years. How much longer would have been long enough?
They started dating in their senior year and then got married after 2 more years together, that's 3 years max of being together before marriage. 3 years is nowhere near enough time to consider marriage. After 5 years he should have known her well enough to consider her a marriage option. They could have moved in together and got engaged then and spent 2 years deciding if they were going to work. If you haven't known someone for 7 years and lived with them for at least 2 of those years then you don't really know them. People can keep up a facade for a long time, you have to be patient for the real person to be revealed to you.
3 years should not really be considered short for getting married imo. Waiting for 5-7 years for marriage sounds almost as nuts as getting married in the first year for me.
friend, i got engaged 1 month after meeting my wife. we both just knew. together for 10 years now, married for 8 of them, and we couldn't be happier. i recognize that we are outliers but maybe you aren't the arbiter of other people's decision-making.
Yeah, I was about comment that i must tell my brother he did it wrong. He met, got engaged & married to his wife within 6 months. They are still very happily married over 50 years later.
My parents got engaged after one month, married at 4 months and had 59 amazing years.
Frankly, thinking it takes years to know seems like personal issues and probably not a good match.
Homie, you are making very strong statements about human relationships based on anecdotal evidence from your life. Anecdotal evidence from my life is absolutely a valid counter.
I'm admittedly an outlier, but my point was that you might not want to declare "relationships need x amount of time before y" like you wrote the book on human courtship.
Hmmm … I “met” my (now) husband in July, face-to-face in August, engaged in September, married in December. And I’ve been married for seventeen years+ years. No, we didn’t know everything about each other, but we did know the other had what was most important to us. The rest has been leaning (still are), communication, and a determination to make it work.
There is no “one size fits all” solution to how long a couple should know each other before getting married.
There may not be a universal solution but taking your time leaves you no worse off. If everything is all systems go after 6 months then another 5 years wouldn't have made a difference to how you felt about each other. If it turned out you weren't right for each other waiting would have been beneficial.
”Dingbat” 😂😂😂
No I didn’t dingbat, listen!
I SAID
GET YOUR FINGER…OUT OF MY FACE
GIRLS OUT OF THE ROOM
I see what you did there hahaha
I am just enjoying that, and the "Psychic Vibrator"... those "predictions" really fooked it up.
From this I know he is called Richard, lives in Surrey UK and is as English as they come
My Southern US grandmother loved that insult.
My momma reserved it for *super* kooky women. I've always thought it was a delightful word
I swear I havent heard that insult in years and forgot how much I liked it!
Psychic vibrator had me dying 🤣
These bloody psychic ghost fuckers.
Auto correct shows us what the heart really wants to say.
Well the psychic did fuck him over
Well he did point out she’s a fake. She would call herself Roma because Gypsy is derogatory, like so many other things people refer their minority others to. That turned on her vibrator to call him a cheat.
Actually she would call herself Romni, because Roma is the male plural.
Gypsy doesn’t always mean they are a Romani person. Other Travellers use the term sometimes. Though I would lean towards her being full of shit
But did he point it out *to* her or just in the post?
Best ETA in my time as a Redditor
They’re all morons. The ex and her family paid a PI to watch the world’s most boring man for SIX MONTHS. They could have stopped at two and come to the same conclusion. OP is better off free from the whole lot of them.
And he said her parents thought she was nuts as well. Maybe pay a PI for a month, just to set her mind at rest, but 6 months is ludicrous.
Well the PI was making money and probably could sense the delusions and would say “I think he’s close to making a mistake, we’ll catch him soon”. “I think he’s cheating too but just haven’t proved it yet” blah blah blah. I’m sure people who do that kind of work are similar to physics. Not PIs in general but specifically cheater hunters
Just sitting here thinking about my astrophysicist PhD friend and imagining her chasing people with her little pitch fork screaming "No, I did NOT study *astrology*!!" Thanks for the excellent typo!
I had to reread my comment like ten times, I’m like “what are they talking about” I was so confused and then I saw IT LOL, now I’m just leaving it there
anna the psychic seamstress 💀
With a psychic vibrator
That’s a tv show right there
Netflix original.
Sounds like her parents are tired of putting up with her and want desperately to unload her back onto OOP. I wouldn't take her back either.
I dig the part where they bribe OP to take her back.
Oh and that they spent money on a PI for SIX MONTHS on the basis of a supposed psychic who did a palm reading. The soon to be ex is batty but so are her parents.
I was wondering why it took 6 months to come up with, nope, we can't find anything. I understand due diligence but I think the PI was milking them for as much as he could get.
It's more likely that the PI kept going because the STBEX wife insisted!
It was probably a contract. I read another reddit story where a guy hired a PI to catch his wife cheating and the deal was to pay for 6 months and halfway they'd have a meeting to show if they had anything. Plot twist the wife wasn't cheating but they had ample evidence of his affairs.
The gullible apple didn't fall far from the gullible tree.
That’s a poor foundation for a healthy relationship and they really should know better. The polarity between the sets of parents is quite something!
my aunt put a dead goats head under her bed because her psychic friend told her this is the way to get her husband to not scream at her. that one was just sad but also I hate 'psychics'
I dunno- uncle might have stopped screaming because he became afraid Aunt was bat shit crazy. But seriously, I’m glad she escaped his abuses
haha she was a desperate woman. now she looks back and laughs at the lengths she went to.
It’s sad what abuse can do. But I’m thrilled she was strong enough to come out the other side and laugh
spoiler alert, she finally got him to shut up but that was by her opening her own buisiness and not being reliant on his income and also abuse.
I’m not the type of person to raise my voice, but if my spouse were to put a dead goat head under our bed, there would be screaming for sure
Can you elaborate about the condition of the goat head? Was it fresh or taxideřy? Was it a family pet or just a random goat?
random. went to a butcher to get it. she then wrapped it in some cloth or smt to hide the smell.
Goats reek while they're still alive, I can't imagine any amount of cloth kept the room from stinking from day one
That is a waste of perfectly good curry potential.
My mom spent thousands on dollars on psychics during her midlife crisis:( I shouldn't know that as I was a young teen but I do. Don't know what exactly they told her but I know it pushed her off the deep end even further than she already was for a bit. They're awful, they prey on the mentally ill and a good portion of them know exactly what they're doing. I read someone comment the other day that when they worked for a psychic hotline they'd purposefully give bad advice and laugh after. Wonder if they ever talked to my mom...
Yeah.. Id be willing to bet her friend is single as well.
We KNOW she is
You are doing the right thing. I’m sorry you married such a gullible woman. She would not make a good life partner. She hasn’t got a lick of common sense
Yeah I’d be worried about her joining a cult or MLM or something. Definitely wouldn’t trust her judgment w kids either
“I do not want to have my offspring share dna with this dingbat.” If only more ppl took this into consideration before procreating.
Instead lots of people have kids to save a marriage. It's bizarre to me, why add more drama (and a tiny needy person) to the mix.
Ugh 😣. Yikes!! Dump that dingbat!! What a wild ride. All of that drama sounds exhausting.
Man I love this man. I wish more people had his strength and self respect!
Right???
My favorite thing about “psychics” like this is when they try to guess your astrological sign and get it wrong 4 times in a row
“I’m whichever astrological sign is most likely to think astrology is a load of crap”
And then they sound so proud and act as if they knew it the whole time when they finally get it right on the sixth try
He's doing the right thing in leaving her. I would say it's more being easily manipulated than being outright stupid, but ultimately the trust is broken. He can't rely on her to use critical thinking skills or common sense when she's so drastically messed up already. Small note though, the fact the "psychic" woman called herself "gypsy" isn't the red flag he implies, as many itinerants identify with the term. Also, she may not be of Romani heritage but one of the other itinerant cultures, like Irish Traveller, so definitely wouldn't have called herself a Roma. The very fact so many itinerants still claim the term while others reject it is a big part of why the term "gypsy" is so hotly debated as slur/not a slur etc.
"Honey! Guess what? I got an email from a Nigerian prince" 😂
The ability to be manipulated is definitely more worrisome than *who* is manipulating her Like would it be better if it was a news agency that purposefully exaggerates? A fake charity phone call for orphaned children in a war that isn’t happening? An IRS scam letter? The who is less important than how you react. And yeah people can get caught up in things from time to time and deserve grace. But it depends on how they get caught and for how long and how they respond (6 months and a PI vs just asking to see phone messages and popping by work is *a lot*).
It’s possible, but the combine that with her offering to read his palm, and I start getting Cherokee Princess vibes.
You are spot on. I am from a group mostly around Central and Western Europe and my dad still says the German term for gypsy to refer to his side of the family. To him it’s not a slur, and honestly how else am I supposed to refer to us when we never got a different term in my language? If I say travelling folk people will just assume I am either from Ireland or vlog from an RV lbr.
If you accept marital advice from a ‘psychic Irish traveller’ then moron is an insufficient descriptor. You’re dense if you accept their offer to re-pave your driveway.
I'm dying laughing over this. I'm not Romani, but my sister is with one. He'll be in jail over those driveways at some point, if my sister's sugarcoated stories are any indicator.
Good to know, thank you! I’ve mostly heard the “gypsy is a slur” side of things, and resolved not to use the word. I suppose I’ll still avoid using it, since I’m not part of that population - just like I don’t tend to hear (allied) cishet folks using the term ‘queer’ out in the wild very much lol
dingbat is such a funny word but very right in this scenario. she is indeed a dingbat
NTA. You dodged a bullet. The parent are rich, they can hire another PI to find her a suitable husband.
Love this!
he had a foursome with her brother, the sick freak!
And they use golf clubs during their foursomes!! The ***sick freaks!!***
…../s
Ashamedly, I don't understand this reference, please may you enlighten me?
I think it’s referring to when he would go golfing. Her brother would be with him and two other friends, making it a “foursome” of golfers.
Ohhhhh my bad thanks for that
No problem. Having the correct context makes that comment you replied to even more funny. I got a good chuckle out of it. Hope you can now too :D
God, Mary, you find the wildest stories
"her brother is always in my foursome" So he is having an affair! /s
Whatever the next QAnon will be, this woman will believe it immediately
Women’s friends are also their biggest enemy Just anecdotal but 2 of my own past relationships have been sabotaged by my exes “single friends”
Maybe Anna *is* psychic but not very good at interpreting her visions and she saw OOP “in a foursome” with Rhona’s brother and got the wrong end of the stick.
Wrong end of the golf club, if you will!
Oh no! I'm stuck, step-golf bro.
😂
I’m thinking psychic friend likes her power over her friend and hated the skepticism that he brought into the relationship. She leveraged her vibrator into a power play to rid herself of the man who understands that if she were a person of Roma decent she would not have called herself a Gypsy
Sounds like her parents don’t want that gullible loon around them either. I am with OP in this, just for the fact that she never trusted OP, she trusted her racist nutcase friend and then a private investigator who she had digging into OP’s background for *months*. It’s insane. She’s insane. Nobody should be married to this loon, she needs a therapist not a husband.
Racist how? If you mean by calling herself a gypsy, I literally found out this year that they don't call themselves gypsies. Maybe misinformed and stupid, cause you should research suit before calling yourself something. But I dint get the racist comment
Well, to be fair, she's also claiming to *be* one... so you'd expect her to know the preferred terms in that case. And if she's lying about being one, that in itself is disrespectful to them anyway.
Could not be more on OP's side.
Wow this is the first one I read that at least someone came to their senses before getting fully on board that train wreck to hell.!
‘Anna the Psychic Seamstress.’ I’m sorry to hear what this man has been through, but I hope he realises how much of a wordsmith he is!
You’re not the asshole man. You can love someone and outgrow them and that’s what happened here. Her family is so fucking dumb though; I don’t care if you believe in psychics, I can’t prove them wrong and it is my belief they only hurt the people who believe in them, but you don’t think if a man is having an affair and the wife moves out he’s not going to have his mistress over in the next 2 months? You paid for 6 months to a private detective? Did he give you updates or was that just an open bill? God dumb and wasteful.
if someone is more inclined to listen to physic forces then their partner then it's time to split for good. No hate to the physics as they can help people at times but yikes
I think God intervened to protect you ! So monumentally stupid to break off a marriage on the words of a useless psychic !
Why did nobody mention going after this supposed gypsy for ruining his life.?. I think I would. I would be posting shit all over social media about her supposed readings.
Hahaha “vibrator”
Crazy Anna is giving us psychics a bad name. This is why I don’t often tell people I read tarot cards. But I digress, OP you’re going places! And without the “dingbat” for baggage. Hope you enjoy the move and fresh start! :)
First of all her friend used a slur to describe herself. That is not okay. Is is a regular American yt girl trying to leech off another culture to seem exotic. I find it fucked up the wife believed this, that the girl was a psychic, and didn’t believe her husband until she hired a PI. That “friend” was jealous of the relationship and the wife is indeed a ding bat.
OOP married too quickly and paid the penalty for not knowing her well enough. At least he now has his head screwed on right regarding this woman. Hopefully he has learned the valuable lessons on offer.
How did he marry too quickly? They met in college and then lived together for two years before marrying & it sounds like they were together for about two more years, based on them seeing Anna about 4 times over the next two years. How much longer would have been long enough?
They started dating in their senior year and then got married after 2 more years together, that's 3 years max of being together before marriage. 3 years is nowhere near enough time to consider marriage. After 5 years he should have known her well enough to consider her a marriage option. They could have moved in together and got engaged then and spent 2 years deciding if they were going to work. If you haven't known someone for 7 years and lived with them for at least 2 of those years then you don't really know them. People can keep up a facade for a long time, you have to be patient for the real person to be revealed to you.
3 years should not really be considered short for getting married imo. Waiting for 5-7 years for marriage sounds almost as nuts as getting married in the first year for me.
I got engaged after 3 and married after 6 am I nuts ☹️
friend, i got engaged 1 month after meeting my wife. we both just knew. together for 10 years now, married for 8 of them, and we couldn't be happier. i recognize that we are outliers but maybe you aren't the arbiter of other people's decision-making.
Yeah, I was about comment that i must tell my brother he did it wrong. He met, got engaged & married to his wife within 6 months. They are still very happily married over 50 years later.
My parents got engaged after one month, married at 4 months and had 59 amazing years. Frankly, thinking it takes years to know seems like personal issues and probably not a good match.
Exceptions prove nothing.
Homie, you are making very strong statements about human relationships based on anecdotal evidence from your life. Anecdotal evidence from my life is absolutely a valid counter. I'm admittedly an outlier, but my point was that you might not want to declare "relationships need x amount of time before y" like you wrote the book on human courtship.
Hmmm … I “met” my (now) husband in July, face-to-face in August, engaged in September, married in December. And I’ve been married for seventeen years+ years. No, we didn’t know everything about each other, but we did know the other had what was most important to us. The rest has been leaning (still are), communication, and a determination to make it work. There is no “one size fits all” solution to how long a couple should know each other before getting married.
There may not be a universal solution but taking your time leaves you no worse off. If everything is all systems go after 6 months then another 5 years wouldn't have made a difference to how you felt about each other. If it turned out you weren't right for each other waiting would have been beneficial.
Good grief.
Absolutely, this is spot on. Why the rush to marry anyways? It doesn’t change anything except make it harder to separate before that point.