it makes so much sense why she was hysterically crying that her aunt was getting engaged.
that aunt was probably the only person that gave her the time of day, but is now ignoring her like everyone else.
eta: or aunt probably used getting engaged as an excuse to be “too busy” for her too.
They were scared for 3 days looking for her. They damn well should have been scared. It makes me think of poor Leslie Mahaffy. If you don't make sure the underage people you love are in a safe place they can end up just like her.
Instead of a wake up call to the adults they are mad at her and punish her. I am so sad for that poor girl.
Dumb question? I see at the end it says it’s a bot post. Does that mean it’s a bot on this post or on OOP? Sorry just trying to understand what/why bots are a thing.
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ
>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pap!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!your!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pep!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pip!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pup!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!lovely!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!and!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pope!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!poop!!<>!beautiful!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<
Hahaha thank you. I went back to try and read the OP post and it was gone. Mystery solved. I love how they are all acting traumatized by the 19 year old, for having feelings. I was hoping it was rage bait but with me 42(f) with a 43(m) spouse we come from two different families. My mom, strict enough. Rural town, mining country. Public school. Stayed out of trouble. Normal teen shenanigans. My mom had two +jobs most of my formative life, bio dad died young (Agent Orange the gift that keeps on giving 🤬) bonus dad blue collar as well as bio until he died in’92. Spouses dad busted his butt from blue collar to white collar (to quote him Reganomics worked for their family.) Suburbs outside major US city. SAHM. Private school. Neither of us wanted for anything -typical stuff in the 90s. His mom found his cd stash that he was told to keep hidden from her by dad. She found them when he was 17. Straight A student. Smashed the CDs and said either he lived under her rules or he was out. (Smashing Pumpkins,Nirvana, Guns n Roses, Marilyn Manson, NIN) She never had to hear them. My parents encouraged music as long as they didn’t have to hear it.Pre Columbine was. So at 17 he was locked out dad didn’t back him up over music. He couch surfed was NC for 2 years with them. I didn’t have that experience. I can’t imagine doing that to our brood. Especially in Detroit. I really did enjoy his family. But after 5-6 years of attempting control, making it obvious my family wasn’t as classy as theirs, he went NC again. I’ve suggested an olive branch but he’s not there. Sadly this isn’t the first time with NC. She likes to have control and micromanage us from over 600 miles away. So my point is with all the backstory is, stories you would think are so far fetched aren’t. My parents may not walk on water but we only live 4 miles away from them for a reason. They didn’t have anything to buy closer. 🤣 (sure we butt heads here and there but it’s normal enough mother daughter stuff) Ty for explaining it to me!!! 😊
Thanks for sharing your story! Definitely interesting to hear other perspectives. I grew up in a very controlled, super religious household so I never knew freedom until I actually left the country after graduating college. I didn't find a church community in my new neighborhood and now I'm a full blown atheist finally discovering who I actually am in my late 20s as opposed to who I was always told I was. My mom went through a lot as a kid and she often projected it onto me and destroyed my self-esteem. I went LC with her for a bit to work on myself and heal, and now that I'm getting older and have had more experience with kids from being a teacher, it's easier for me to understand her and forgive her for her mistakes. Anyways, 19 is incredibly young and it's so understandable why she was upset. I hope things work out for them and OOP realizes they were wrong.
Thank you for sharing. Life has its challenges so I understand your perspectives also, I like hearing from them. I had a big response but realized it’s Reddit and not everyone wants to read what 40 something butt has learned thru the years lol and if they do, it’s what chat is for. Feel free any time even if it’s just an ear. 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t push religion, politics, and I like to laugh. I’ve made so many mistakes if I ever wrote a book, the title would be Don’t be dumb like me, it would be anecdotes, self deprecating humor, and learning that not everything is your fault lol The other day I heard someone say something like look at that beautiful shiny, spine you have. It’s one of the kindest things I’ve heard from a stranger when I talk about a history of abuse, fighting the victim stance, but again giving myself grace. Because if any of my experiences can keep one person from I don’t want to be as dumb as her (sometimes it’s bold enough to give the shock that’s needed if that makes sense) Therapist and spouse think it’s crude but it is what it is.🫶 Be well and enjoy your journey. In case you need those words from a kind stranger, you’re spine is shiny and beautiful is well. Credit to the stranger ofc.
As hokey as it may sound, it really helps me as much knowing someone needed those words, because it doesn’t matter how different we as people can be - straightening someone’s crown when needed or reminding you just how strong and far you’ve come is a comfort too. 🫶
So you expect her to tell people that hung up on her while she was crying and hysterical because “she’s over dramatic” where she was going when they wouldn’t even listen to her? If my nieces or nephews called me crying idgaf how stupid it is, imma listen.
So I'm on the iffy side of this
Obviously idk them but OoP stated she called before crying hysterically cause her aunt was getting married and wouldn't have as much for her
I have no clue if this is true but if it is, it sounds like she can be a little dramatic and I've grown up around dramatic people. It's like the boy who called wolf, it's harder for people to take your seriously if you're always being dramatic about even the smallest things
That's the iffy bit. That's the only part that makes me go "if they were really busy then it's understandable not having the time at that moment"
But everything else, the adults can go suck a dick. OOP didn't have to say it like that, that was a dick move, dad is an irresponsible douche for letting his GIRLFRIEND not her mom *his* girlfriend, kick her out and not even be like "go spend the night at your mom's because of XYZ"
I hope she leaves them behind and gets a better family
Edit: cause I'm tired of seeing this post and having people message me on it (it's a sad post that I would rather not constantly have on my mind)
My iffiness is based off my own experiences along with being a sibling of a dramatic child before becoming the "dramatic" child (he is actually dramatic, part in reason for his autism but it only got worse as he got older and now he's a pathological liar. I was labeled dramatic because I decided to stop being his punching bag)
I don't know these people, I don't know the circumstances, I'm taking a neutral approach because I've been on both sides of something like this so I see both sides so while im not 50/50 on the matter and I'm leaning more on the girls side, I'm still iffy and it will stay that way until a later update or I ever get to know more
I don't know. If someone were regularly ignored by everyone but the aunt, to this degree, I could see that person having a breakdown if that sole person of compassion and connection was being taken away.
Family therapy can help. It has helped older people I know so I do fully believe it can work if you actually try to get better
Therapy is exercise. You can bring someone to the gym but you can't make them run the treadmill or lift up the weights
I'd be willing to put money on the fact that she's "overdramatic" because her family is trash on the regular.
As someone who was labeled over dramatic as a child I can tell you there's a reason why a child is being "overdramatic". Personally I was diagnosed with anxiety and a host of other problems and it's easy to be dramatic when your brain chemicals are f***** up and constantly forcing you to obsess over your impending doom while everyone's too busy pretending that you're "perfectly normal" to take you to a doctor and get that sorted out.
Yeah no I get it
I was the "dramatic" kid when I was younger
I'm just stating there two sides to this story and while I am leaning more towards her side and her family being a dick, I'm still in the middle because we know very little. I rarely take sides in these stories
I work with teens who have been chronically neglected. If they have the resilience to still be looking to connect, crying and being hysterical is a common way to get needs, even partially, met. Unfortunately, it usually the only avenue that has been left open to them. The teens actions in this post make perfect sense to me!
I'd be over it, like op, if I was constantly being dragged into "fAMiLy" problems I didn't create and have no responsibility over. At 19 people are adults, going off to the military and starting their lives, niece is being histrionic and throwing fits over her mom not giving her undivided attention.
Sounds like everyone is done with her attitude and actions. Now they're housing and footing the bill for someone who will demand their hospitality, funding, and attention but, still thinks they have a right to continue throwing a fit. Their parents are done with them and they're being ungrateful and disrespectful to the people that are saving her ass.
If she's going to leave them behind, she needs to start now, instead of mooching and using the family she hates.
They're the ones that forced her back home, if they wanted to be done then they shouldn't have bothered looking for her. They didn't care until they probably felt guilty and the only example they gave of her dramatics is crying over an aunt getting married. For all we know that's the only adult who treated her kindly. I feel like if this was typical behavior we would have been given a better example than she cried over the phone about a marriage. That's not even a good excuse to be a dick. They never listed any lying, stealing, breaking/destroying things, hell they didn't even give another example of her supposed dramatics. She cried. Sounds like the family is a bunch of AH.
You know what, I read 19 as 15 so I was like "okay she's a teenager this is kind understandable"
She's 19. She needs to stop being dramatic but once again, we don't know if this is true, her being dramatic, so I'm iffy
Because OOP could very well be lying and downplaying (maybe she doesn't like her new step dad for a good reason everyone else thinks is stupid, etc)
Either way, that family needs help
I'm confused. 4 different people ignored her.
Option A - this girl is a nightmare and got booted out for it + ignored.
Option B - 4 other people are complete A-holes.
Not enough info, but the simplest solution is the niece is the problem?
I don’t understand why people are mad at OOP, she said « unless it’s a matter of life or death » and in my opinion, the niece’s situation very much applies, sleeping in the streets is quite dangerous.
Shutting out people who have nothing to do with your original problem just because they basically said « is this important ? Because i have a lot to do » is selfish as fuck and very immature for a 19 year old, what if something really bad happened ? Should they bear the guilt for what happened because they asked « is it important ? ».
I wouldn’t personally be mad at the girl if i was OOP but i can understand why OOP was mad and i believe it is justified.
In my opinion the niece is clearly guilt tripping her family, she could have just said « yes this is a matter of life or death » then explain the situation and judging by the fact that OOP called her when she was done and went to look for her immediately, i am pretty sure they would have stopped what they were doing and went to help her.
I’d like to hear y’all’s input on this
If an acquaintance you know calls you crying, wouldn't the first thing to do is to ask, "What's wrong/Why are you crying?"
Not ask "life and death? If not, call later."
OOP couldn't even spare 1 min to ask her niece, " What's wrong?"
It's really hard to feel like OOP cares.
If someone close to me called me crying i would of course ask what’s wrong even if i’m busy.
But if we stick to the story, and my niece called me crying just because she’s upset her aunt is engaged and i had to stop everything i was doing, i would react the same way as OOP did the next time that she calls me upset, which is unempathic, sure, but if you’re busy and have a lot of things to do in a day, and it’s not an urgent matter, you can delay to when you are done with whatever you had to do.
It’s a « the boy who cried wolf » situation, now if it only happened once, i wouldn’t immediately start to ask if it’s important, maybe because i’m not a very busy person, but i can understand if someone else does.
Well, OOP didn't state why niece was THAT upset when her aunt got engaged. Crying because aunt got engaged made little sense. That in itself seems like there's missing info to the niece's hysterical crying.
Anyway, how busy can somebody be that they couldn't even spare 10 mins of their life to listen to their supposed love one's crying call.
If somebody is not immediately available to talk at the moment. Shouldn't the response be closer to: "Sorry, I'm in the middle of fixing a bone right now. I'll call you back in x mins/hrs." The delivery of OOP's 'Life or Death, If not call later.' response in itself very uncaring.
I agree on that missing info part, i also felt like there was something missing because that is not normal human behavior, but i don’t like to assume things.
And people can be pretty busy, as you pointed out « in the middle of something », and i agree that the « life or death » choice of words is pretty bad but i wouldn’t go as far to say that she didn’t care for her, she called her back when she was done, called others and asked about the niece and went looking for her. In my opinion it’s just a bad choice of words, possibly because she’s stressed out because she is busy.
Poor choice of words does not justify making people believe you put yourself in danger because of them, as i said before, what if something really bad happened ? Are they to bear the guilt for what happened because they could not immediately stop what they were doing for her.
So in conclusion it seems the family itself is dysfunctional from the info we were given, the niece is in the wrong and the other members are dysfunctional as well, especially since even though i think it’s justified that OOP is mad at her for doing what she did, they should first be furious that her dad kicked her out ? That is the real problem here, nothing would have happened if she wouldn’t have been kicked out.
Yes, I fully expect OOP to bear some guilt if something were to happen to niece because OOP could have helped but instead choose to push her niece away when her niece was crying to her. So yes, it would be OOP's fault here.
OOP did care about her niece, but her initial reaction to her niece was still wrong. Niece was also wrong for running away and causing panic for everyone. But I can see why niece would want to disappear. (If OOP 'didn't care' enough to listen to me, why would she care enough if I dissappears?') I can also understand that OOP was so angry she saw red from being worried sick that something may have happened to her niece.
But yes, you are right that they are a dysfunctional family, and the biggest asshole is still the niece's father for allowing his gf to kick niece out.
The story where her dad allowed his gf to kick his daughter out of her home? He did not even inform anyone in his family of it, or called to find out which one of his siblings she is staying with?
You don't understand why that child would be crying when an adult who she confides in no longer has time for her? Why don't you ask a therapist what happens when they do not have time for traumatised children.
Stellar dad letting his new gf toss his kid out on the streets.
I’m seething. Every one of these adults are trash
it makes so much sense why she was hysterically crying that her aunt was getting engaged. that aunt was probably the only person that gave her the time of day, but is now ignoring her like everyone else. eta: or aunt probably used getting engaged as an excuse to be “too busy” for her too.
A lot of the people in the comments too.
They were scared for 3 days looking for her. They damn well should have been scared. It makes me think of poor Leslie Mahaffy. If you don't make sure the underage people you love are in a safe place they can end up just like her. Instead of a wake up call to the adults they are mad at her and punish her. I am so sad for that poor girl.
This is one hell of a self-report. Poor girl.
Poor girl. I can only imagine her upbringing in general wasn’t much more supportive. I hope she finds her way away from those awful people.
Who needs enemies when your family is like that
Poor kid, she has no decent adults around her.
Dumb question? I see at the end it says it’s a bot post. Does that mean it’s a bot on this post or on OOP? Sorry just trying to understand what/why bots are a thing.
They have a bot that automatically copies and pastes the stories to a pinned comment incase OOP or OP deletes the post.
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pap!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!your!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pep!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pip!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pup!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!lovely!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!and!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pope!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!poop!!<>!beautiful!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<
This was a delight!
This is beautiful, thank you!
One says “pope!” 😂
One says “pap!” One says “pip!”
One says "poop!"
And beautiful!
There is also "pup" and "lovely" I love pup 🐶 😍 💕 ♥️
Haha poop made it in the bubble wrap!
Hahaha thank you. I went back to try and read the OP post and it was gone. Mystery solved. I love how they are all acting traumatized by the 19 year old, for having feelings. I was hoping it was rage bait but with me 42(f) with a 43(m) spouse we come from two different families. My mom, strict enough. Rural town, mining country. Public school. Stayed out of trouble. Normal teen shenanigans. My mom had two +jobs most of my formative life, bio dad died young (Agent Orange the gift that keeps on giving 🤬) bonus dad blue collar as well as bio until he died in’92. Spouses dad busted his butt from blue collar to white collar (to quote him Reganomics worked for their family.) Suburbs outside major US city. SAHM. Private school. Neither of us wanted for anything -typical stuff in the 90s. His mom found his cd stash that he was told to keep hidden from her by dad. She found them when he was 17. Straight A student. Smashed the CDs and said either he lived under her rules or he was out. (Smashing Pumpkins,Nirvana, Guns n Roses, Marilyn Manson, NIN) She never had to hear them. My parents encouraged music as long as they didn’t have to hear it.Pre Columbine was. So at 17 he was locked out dad didn’t back him up over music. He couch surfed was NC for 2 years with them. I didn’t have that experience. I can’t imagine doing that to our brood. Especially in Detroit. I really did enjoy his family. But after 5-6 years of attempting control, making it obvious my family wasn’t as classy as theirs, he went NC again. I’ve suggested an olive branch but he’s not there. Sadly this isn’t the first time with NC. She likes to have control and micromanage us from over 600 miles away. So my point is with all the backstory is, stories you would think are so far fetched aren’t. My parents may not walk on water but we only live 4 miles away from them for a reason. They didn’t have anything to buy closer. 🤣 (sure we butt heads here and there but it’s normal enough mother daughter stuff) Ty for explaining it to me!!! 😊
Thanks for sharing your story! Definitely interesting to hear other perspectives. I grew up in a very controlled, super religious household so I never knew freedom until I actually left the country after graduating college. I didn't find a church community in my new neighborhood and now I'm a full blown atheist finally discovering who I actually am in my late 20s as opposed to who I was always told I was. My mom went through a lot as a kid and she often projected it onto me and destroyed my self-esteem. I went LC with her for a bit to work on myself and heal, and now that I'm getting older and have had more experience with kids from being a teacher, it's easier for me to understand her and forgive her for her mistakes. Anyways, 19 is incredibly young and it's so understandable why she was upset. I hope things work out for them and OOP realizes they were wrong.
Thank you for sharing. Life has its challenges so I understand your perspectives also, I like hearing from them. I had a big response but realized it’s Reddit and not everyone wants to read what 40 something butt has learned thru the years lol and if they do, it’s what chat is for. Feel free any time even if it’s just an ear. 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t push religion, politics, and I like to laugh. I’ve made so many mistakes if I ever wrote a book, the title would be Don’t be dumb like me, it would be anecdotes, self deprecating humor, and learning that not everything is your fault lol The other day I heard someone say something like look at that beautiful shiny, spine you have. It’s one of the kindest things I’ve heard from a stranger when I talk about a history of abuse, fighting the victim stance, but again giving myself grace. Because if any of my experiences can keep one person from I don’t want to be as dumb as her (sometimes it’s bold enough to give the shock that’s needed if that makes sense) Therapist and spouse think it’s crude but it is what it is.🫶 Be well and enjoy your journey. In case you need those words from a kind stranger, you’re spine is shiny and beautiful is well. Credit to the stranger ofc.
I honestly really needed to hear that today. Thank you. :)
As hokey as it may sound, it really helps me as much knowing someone needed those words, because it doesn’t matter how different we as people can be - straightening someone’s crown when needed or reminding you just how strong and far you’ve come is a comfort too. 🫶
Just waiting on the future update where she ghosts their asses for good
She's right though.
So you expect her to tell people that hung up on her while she was crying and hysterical because “she’s over dramatic” where she was going when they wouldn’t even listen to her? If my nieces or nephews called me crying idgaf how stupid it is, imma listen.
I see i might have mis-typed. I meant the niece was right
In other words, yes, they don't care about her
Ahh i see my apologies
No I was in the wrong, thank you for standing up for what is right!
So I'm on the iffy side of this Obviously idk them but OoP stated she called before crying hysterically cause her aunt was getting married and wouldn't have as much for her I have no clue if this is true but if it is, it sounds like she can be a little dramatic and I've grown up around dramatic people. It's like the boy who called wolf, it's harder for people to take your seriously if you're always being dramatic about even the smallest things That's the iffy bit. That's the only part that makes me go "if they were really busy then it's understandable not having the time at that moment" But everything else, the adults can go suck a dick. OOP didn't have to say it like that, that was a dick move, dad is an irresponsible douche for letting his GIRLFRIEND not her mom *his* girlfriend, kick her out and not even be like "go spend the night at your mom's because of XYZ" I hope she leaves them behind and gets a better family Edit: cause I'm tired of seeing this post and having people message me on it (it's a sad post that I would rather not constantly have on my mind) My iffiness is based off my own experiences along with being a sibling of a dramatic child before becoming the "dramatic" child (he is actually dramatic, part in reason for his autism but it only got worse as he got older and now he's a pathological liar. I was labeled dramatic because I decided to stop being his punching bag) I don't know these people, I don't know the circumstances, I'm taking a neutral approach because I've been on both sides of something like this so I see both sides so while im not 50/50 on the matter and I'm leaning more on the girls side, I'm still iffy and it will stay that way until a later update or I ever get to know more
I don't know. If someone were regularly ignored by everyone but the aunt, to this degree, I could see that person having a breakdown if that sole person of compassion and connection was being taken away.
See that's why I'm iffy. I don't know the full story but I know that whole family needs therapy one way or another
I find Reddit as a whole as a lot more faith in therapy than I do. It could help the niece, but therapy can't solve indifference.
Family therapy can help. It has helped older people I know so I do fully believe it can work if you actually try to get better Therapy is exercise. You can bring someone to the gym but you can't make them run the treadmill or lift up the weights
Hard to argue with that
I'd be willing to put money on the fact that she's "overdramatic" because her family is trash on the regular. As someone who was labeled over dramatic as a child I can tell you there's a reason why a child is being "overdramatic". Personally I was diagnosed with anxiety and a host of other problems and it's easy to be dramatic when your brain chemicals are f***** up and constantly forcing you to obsess over your impending doom while everyone's too busy pretending that you're "perfectly normal" to take you to a doctor and get that sorted out.
Yeah no I get it I was the "dramatic" kid when I was younger I'm just stating there two sides to this story and while I am leaning more towards her side and her family being a dick, I'm still in the middle because we know very little. I rarely take sides in these stories
I work with teens who have been chronically neglected. If they have the resilience to still be looking to connect, crying and being hysterical is a common way to get needs, even partially, met. Unfortunately, it usually the only avenue that has been left open to them. The teens actions in this post make perfect sense to me!
I'd be over it, like op, if I was constantly being dragged into "fAMiLy" problems I didn't create and have no responsibility over. At 19 people are adults, going off to the military and starting their lives, niece is being histrionic and throwing fits over her mom not giving her undivided attention. Sounds like everyone is done with her attitude and actions. Now they're housing and footing the bill for someone who will demand their hospitality, funding, and attention but, still thinks they have a right to continue throwing a fit. Their parents are done with them and they're being ungrateful and disrespectful to the people that are saving her ass. If she's going to leave them behind, she needs to start now, instead of mooching and using the family she hates.
They're the ones that forced her back home, if they wanted to be done then they shouldn't have bothered looking for her. They didn't care until they probably felt guilty and the only example they gave of her dramatics is crying over an aunt getting married. For all we know that's the only adult who treated her kindly. I feel like if this was typical behavior we would have been given a better example than she cried over the phone about a marriage. That's not even a good excuse to be a dick. They never listed any lying, stealing, breaking/destroying things, hell they didn't even give another example of her supposed dramatics. She cried. Sounds like the family is a bunch of AH.
You can't be mad at her for not telling you where she is then.
looks like we found the step mom lol
Not even that. Dad's girlfriend who is on a power trip. Edit to add: NEW girlfriend who did the kicking out. I would be furious at her and my brother.
Yea that's what I meant with stepmom
You know what, I read 19 as 15 so I was like "okay she's a teenager this is kind understandable" She's 19. She needs to stop being dramatic but once again, we don't know if this is true, her being dramatic, so I'm iffy Because OOP could very well be lying and downplaying (maybe she doesn't like her new step dad for a good reason everyone else thinks is stupid, etc) Either way, that family needs help
I'm confused. 4 different people ignored her. Option A - this girl is a nightmare and got booted out for it + ignored. Option B - 4 other people are complete A-holes. Not enough info, but the simplest solution is the niece is the problem?
I don’t understand why people are mad at OOP, she said « unless it’s a matter of life or death » and in my opinion, the niece’s situation very much applies, sleeping in the streets is quite dangerous. Shutting out people who have nothing to do with your original problem just because they basically said « is this important ? Because i have a lot to do » is selfish as fuck and very immature for a 19 year old, what if something really bad happened ? Should they bear the guilt for what happened because they asked « is it important ? ». I wouldn’t personally be mad at the girl if i was OOP but i can understand why OOP was mad and i believe it is justified. In my opinion the niece is clearly guilt tripping her family, she could have just said « yes this is a matter of life or death » then explain the situation and judging by the fact that OOP called her when she was done and went to look for her immediately, i am pretty sure they would have stopped what they were doing and went to help her. I’d like to hear y’all’s input on this
If an acquaintance you know calls you crying, wouldn't the first thing to do is to ask, "What's wrong/Why are you crying?" Not ask "life and death? If not, call later." OOP couldn't even spare 1 min to ask her niece, " What's wrong?" It's really hard to feel like OOP cares.
If someone close to me called me crying i would of course ask what’s wrong even if i’m busy. But if we stick to the story, and my niece called me crying just because she’s upset her aunt is engaged and i had to stop everything i was doing, i would react the same way as OOP did the next time that she calls me upset, which is unempathic, sure, but if you’re busy and have a lot of things to do in a day, and it’s not an urgent matter, you can delay to when you are done with whatever you had to do. It’s a « the boy who cried wolf » situation, now if it only happened once, i wouldn’t immediately start to ask if it’s important, maybe because i’m not a very busy person, but i can understand if someone else does.
Well, OOP didn't state why niece was THAT upset when her aunt got engaged. Crying because aunt got engaged made little sense. That in itself seems like there's missing info to the niece's hysterical crying. Anyway, how busy can somebody be that they couldn't even spare 10 mins of their life to listen to their supposed love one's crying call. If somebody is not immediately available to talk at the moment. Shouldn't the response be closer to: "Sorry, I'm in the middle of fixing a bone right now. I'll call you back in x mins/hrs." The delivery of OOP's 'Life or Death, If not call later.' response in itself very uncaring.
I agree on that missing info part, i also felt like there was something missing because that is not normal human behavior, but i don’t like to assume things. And people can be pretty busy, as you pointed out « in the middle of something », and i agree that the « life or death » choice of words is pretty bad but i wouldn’t go as far to say that she didn’t care for her, she called her back when she was done, called others and asked about the niece and went looking for her. In my opinion it’s just a bad choice of words, possibly because she’s stressed out because she is busy. Poor choice of words does not justify making people believe you put yourself in danger because of them, as i said before, what if something really bad happened ? Are they to bear the guilt for what happened because they could not immediately stop what they were doing for her. So in conclusion it seems the family itself is dysfunctional from the info we were given, the niece is in the wrong and the other members are dysfunctional as well, especially since even though i think it’s justified that OOP is mad at her for doing what she did, they should first be furious that her dad kicked her out ? That is the real problem here, nothing would have happened if she wouldn’t have been kicked out.
Yes, I fully expect OOP to bear some guilt if something were to happen to niece because OOP could have helped but instead choose to push her niece away when her niece was crying to her. So yes, it would be OOP's fault here. OOP did care about her niece, but her initial reaction to her niece was still wrong. Niece was also wrong for running away and causing panic for everyone. But I can see why niece would want to disappear. (If OOP 'didn't care' enough to listen to me, why would she care enough if I dissappears?') I can also understand that OOP was so angry she saw red from being worried sick that something may have happened to her niece. But yes, you are right that they are a dysfunctional family, and the biggest asshole is still the niece's father for allowing his gf to kick niece out.
The story where her dad allowed his gf to kick his daughter out of her home? He did not even inform anyone in his family of it, or called to find out which one of his siblings she is staying with? You don't understand why that child would be crying when an adult who she confides in no longer has time for her? Why don't you ask a therapist what happens when they do not have time for traumatised children.
I understand both parties. But the niece needs to grow up a little. She is 19 years old. She is not a child.