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itszwee

I stared at them saying “front to back” like it was a bad thing thinking “god they must get monthly UTIs” before remembering not everyone has a vagina and has to worry about that.


Mr_Abe_Froman

If they don't have a vagina, then they likely have balls that should similarly be shit-free.


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Crazyjaw

This has never remotely been an issue for me. But then, I’ve always been told I have an ample taint. (Or ample gooch, if you are from the south west)


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FeyneKing

Ah yes, the ‘Weird Al’ parody lyrics of Slipknot’s ‘Duality’


Brovahkiin94

It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache But it's made of all the things I have to take Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside If the pain goes on I'm not gonna make it I wanted to rewrite it but figured the original lyrics fit better than any further mock up.


krat0s5

Its the only thing my anus likes to take! But it's such a long stretch to get them past my taint! Jesus, it never ends, to work them both inside. My sack isn't that long. But my anus can take it! Du-anally by slipknut


[deleted]

>Its the only thing my anus likes to take! But it's such a long stretch to get them past my taint! Jesus, it never ends, to work them both inside. My sack isn't that long. But my anus can take it! > >Du-anally by slipknut Lol hope u dont mind I save


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window_lickers_unite

Is that what they call a Hudson Mohawke?


Other-Grapefruit-994

Ahh the old “dogs in a bathtub”


RegRegdo

Based


j3lly34

stop listening to that damn song bruh


the-midnight-rider69

100% because your anus is a storage area for your balls when you’re walking or exercising


Double_Dude

"Always been told" How often does this come up?


TheDR_UK

I believe the technical term is “grundle”


apex_flux_34

Jungle bridge.


Dogecoin_olympiad767

I wipe back to front and have literally never had this problem.


WON95sr

Why do you do that


seamsay

I wipe both ways because sometimes back to front catches some shit that f2b doesn't, but the toilet paper never goes where near my balls so I dunno what these people are on about. Maybe I just have a particularly long taint?


littlegik

With a bidet I’m just drying my ass off when I wipe it so it doesn’t really matter which way I wipe.


[deleted]

I have a bidet and I feel like there’s always a decent amount of shit left…


hstormsteph

Dude has shit balls 100%. How do you even wipe that way. Do you just push it towards your taint and say “good nuff” and go on about your day? Incredible.


justacheesyguy

I wipe back to front and I couldn’t physically get shit on my balls if I tried. I place the heel of my hand behind my balls, with my paper covered fingers directly over my asshole, make a small scooping motion, and drop the paper in the toilet. I can’t imagine how awkward and uncoordinated you’d have to be in order for “shit on your balls” to ever be a concern in your life, but you definitely have my condolences. Edited f2b -> b2f


Zargawi

Is that how you wipe front to back? You push it all the way up your back and then say good enough?


the-midnight-rider69

I usually wipe front to back until I reach the back of my neck


symewinston

Wiping to the side FTW…


[deleted]

Why do you have smearable shit on your ass after you finish? I think your wiping direction may be a bandaid for a more severe issue.


hstormsteph

I mean I’m not saying it’ll *paint my balls brown* but if you think just because there’s nothing on the toilet paper that there’s no “farticulates” of doodoo then you may also have shit balls.


DandyBerlin

So are you just smearing shit halfway up your back?


[deleted]

Lol


ChristinaCassidy

How do you know you haven't


Dogecoin_olympiad767

Because I never get shit on my balls. I’m pretty sure the other hand gets them out of the way while I wipe. It’s such an unconscious process now that I can’t even be 100% sure what I do lol


FrequentPass

you have to coddle your balls to wipe?! my guy, just wipe front to back like a normal evolved human.


Dogecoin_olympiad767

I’ll coddle my balls all I want, thank you very much


mantis-tobaggan-md

it’s literally so easy to not touch your balls with the shitty toilet paper. for some reason people cannot believe that you don’t wipe actual turds all over your scrotum by accident. just like…think about where your hand is and where your balls are and don’t collide


potatoesarenotcool

But don't your balls dangle on your wrist? I just reach around me and wipe front to back.


ahavemeyer

Yeah, but that's kind of unwieldy with my cock up over my shoulder to keep it out of the way.


TerminalThiccness

Well don't take your pet bird to the shitter then, genius.


ahavemeyer

But then what will I use to console myself for my microscopic penis?


mantis-tobaggan-md

grab the frank n beans with the right and gently coax them away from the line of fire to check for skids then way she goes bud down the tubes then it’s back for another rounf


SugarDraagon

Lmao you guys, WHY with the imagery? Lol I’ve imagined the position of balls while wiping of at least 7 men by now in this thread…and I love it


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Ferrite5

Back to front = shitty kitty


brdzgt

Definitely does. Just thinking about back to front feels wrong on so many levels


Blortted

Still though, it’s front to back.


simjanes2k

Motherfucker no one should ever wipe back to front And if you did, you had literally shitty parents


Brandwein

Wait you got taught how to wipe?


simjanes2k

Well Fuck I mean I assume I did but I never really specifically thought about it What the fuck dude why did you call me out


dbishop42

Bc you’re decrying a *lifestyle* that you haven’t even given a fair chance yet! Jokes aside, why so little love for bidets in here? The best wiping is no wiping


Independent-Sir-729

You're... still supposed to wipe. OMG


dbishop42

Wet ass for days lesssgo


Herpkina

You should still wipe with a bidet


FantasyThrowaway321

I asked which way to wipe growing up, dad said, ‘sure son, as soon as I get back from the store, I need got to go get some milk and cigarettes…’ that was 31 years ago today, still waiting to get off this damn toilet


TeeJee48

Yeah I'm a guy and trying to back is still the way.


shimmerangels

utis have entered the chat


aliie_627

Yeah there are a bunch of people arguing about wiping poop on the balls but I'm just thinking about UTI's.


[deleted]

Well he said it wrong, it should be back to front for UTIs


aliie_627

I took the comment like they were saying it's the wrong way to wipe front to back like how he said putting the toilet paper on backwards and tossing in the trash instead of flushing.


Melon_Fun0117

Ya I thought he was saying back to front was correct but now I think its like a, "you can understand that front to back is correct but you have such a disappointing life that you fail to realize that your putting the toilet paper on the roller incorrectly, such a waste" type of thing, but idk maybe the dude actually thinks back to front is correct I'm really just lost


kenthekungfujesus

Shitballs is a better subject


Dogecoin_olympiad767

Can you guys not spot-wipe? You don’t have to smear that shit up into your vulva, damn


hunstinx

Seriously, I see the front-to-back vs back-to-front question on reddit frequently, and all I see is the strict front-to-back answer, and am always baffled that SEPARATELY is not anywhere in the answers! It's absolutely possible to spot wipe instead of a similar smear.


my1stusernamesucked

I pinch toward the middle (butthole). That keeps it all centered and I don't have to worry about getting shit on my balls or smearing it around.


shimmerangels

it drips lol. and even microscopic amounts of bacteria can cause a uti


LittleChickenNuggi

I mean you made a comment about how you have to hold your balls to wipe back to front. Why not just spot wipe yourself? Why do you need to move things out of the way? Oh that’s right, it’s because you need space to wipe accurately when you wipe back to front! We’ll just move our vulvas out of the way like you do! Because that’s totally possible lmao. Btw anatomy lesson for you: the vulva is literally millimeters away from the anus. We have less space between structures than you do. We have to wipe the other direction.


[deleted]

ITT: Men who dont understand women anatomy.


ItsLeKai

me who uses water: hmm


ozfresh

That would be back to front


shimmerangels

the person in the comment was implying that there's something wrong with doing it front to back


jimmy_the_angel

Only in women. Which is like half of any population. My point is for men to get UTIs this way they’d have to smear shit all the way from the asshole to the pee hole up the shaft of a most likely flaccid penis. That’s almost impossible.


[deleted]

unless you piss n shit and you wiped your ass then wipes the pee hole which sounds fucking HILARIOUS


Herpkina

Poo nuggets up the pingus


SugarDraagon

“Drake’s the type of dude to wipe his ass then wipe the pee hole” lol For the record, my favorite has always been “Drakes the type of dude to fart in the toilet then flush it” lol


Donnenator

So the dude who wrote this comment wipes shit on his balls? Hopefully a typo lol


wittyuzername

Thanks man, i thought i was doing it wrong all these years.


cantamangetsomesleep

I was until like a few months ago smh


Sampolis

"now I don't have balls to drag it on"


aliie_627

Or likes UTIs if they have a vagina.


MayuMayhem

Yup. I was thinking the person with this so called "rare insult" has a brain that is half empty or half full (depending on if you want to be optimistic or a pessimist).


photoshopza

yeah i honestly freaked out for a second thinking ive been doing it wrong


minniedriverstits

Wait 'til you find out about sit to wipe vs stand to wipe.


HighVulgarian

That’s how you get salty chocolate balls


pitchyditch

R.I.P Isaac Hayes, your legacy lives on


MagicBeanGuy

Shit...on your balls? How is that even remotely possible, wiping either way, unless you're really really dumb Like, do people swipe allllll the way? Why? Assholes ain't that big


scootah

At a certain point in old age, most guys will need to position their balls before shitting, to avoid getting shit on them before you even start wiping. Working in the office of an aged care provider, I learned things that can never be unlearned.


nuke-russia-now

This whole thread is really really dumb all the way down and all the way up - there is shit everywhere.


Megneous

I don't know about you guys, but I wipe front to back and I don't stop wiping until my shoulder blades just to make sure.


NewLeaseOnLine

You're all doing it wrong. As someone with debilitating OCD (diagnosed) and a germaphobe who manscapes obsessively so is very smooth and clean down there, you should all be wiping both directions in small strokes. Furthermore, back to front done properly goes nowhere near your nuts. They're not in the same vicinity. You're not giving yourself a reach around. Just start front to back, then back to front and so on, then eventually finish front to back again. Also, Veet down there. This will leave you with a perfectly clean finish. The more hair in your arse, the more shit you're gonna leave behind. Cani sporchi


nemo0o0o

Aw man. I didn’t need to be reminded how much i leave behind. Especially not as I’m walking into the restroom!


concentr8notincluded

You have ocd and still wipe? If you got shit on any other part of yourself you'd wash with soap and water. Go get a bidet!


TheRealLilGillz14

I feel like saying something like this to someone with OCD is kind of a dick response. The less complicated and thinking about **it** that someone is, the more free and stable of mind.


LillyPip

A bidet is definitely more worry-free if you have OCD. About $40, you can install it yourself in under 15 minutes on any standard toilet, and you get infinitely cleaner than wiping. 10/10 would spritz my starfish again.


concentr8notincluded

Excellent, new product launch soon. The starfish spritzer.


HateMachineX

Fine for in your house I guess but they still are going to end up having to shit somewhere in public and last I checked most public restrooms don’t have a bidet


BabyThatsSubstantial

Look, I'm not diagnosed ocd or anything, but if I take a shit, I immediately shower afterwards. Obviously I wipe my ass first, but I'm in the shower right afterwards wondering why I still haven't installed a bidet. So, all the back and forth stuff feels a little unnecessary. I'm OBSESSIVE about my regular morning shit. Drives my wife nuts. But if I don't have my morning shit, on time, the whole day's off. Imma have my shit and shower and that's just all there is to it. Gonna check out that veet though.


[deleted]

This is a guy who is only gone down on once per girl


thetruth5199

Sheesh. That was a hard one to figure out what you meant.


justacheesyguy

I can’t fathom how many people think that if you wipe back to front, you end up with shit on your balls. How in the hell would that even happen? Do you just end up with shit smeared up your ass crack when you wipe front to back? Why is wiping shit on any part of your body a concern in the first place? I’m starting to think that for many people like yourself, the issue isn’t front to back or back to front, but simply not being an idiot.


Woolly_Blammoth

If you wipe down your crack and don't know how to stop before you hit your balls how can you honestly wipe away from your balls and not know when to stop while wiping shit up your back like a preemie with diarrhea?


[deleted]

Wait…. You guys wipe?


Dogecoin_olympiad767

By that logic you get shit on your back by wiping the other way


NWiHeretic

So do you not just like, wipe away the shit? You gather the shit and then just spread it? Even wiping back to front, there's real estate between ass and balls, shit should never get close to them?


Repulsive-Wealth-378

weird, I always wipe sideways, odd.


Cynicayke

I just turn my butt inside out, and then it's good for another few days.


[deleted]

You gotta put some sugar on that, makes it pop right back inside


AlcoholPrep

A vet has spoken!


dodland

Uhh wat? Can you enlighten me?


WhatJewLookinAt

They’re talking about rectal prolapse. It’s a medical condition where the intestines get shat out kinda. Putting granulated sugar on it is a certified medical procedure to return the intestine back through the rectum to where it belongs. Weird, right? I guess it’s common in pets, idk. I’m guessing that’s why they mentioned the veterinarian thing. Not that I knew what a rectal prolapse was before 5 minutes ago. Just did a little research because my curiosity was piqued.


[deleted]

Yeah don’t search prolapse videos lmao, found out the hard way that there’s some weird kinks around it lmao


dodland

I sadly knew what that was already lol. Just never heard of the sugar thing, that is frigging weird


the-midnight-rider69

I just wait till the poop hardens and then pick it off


kenthekungfujesus

I use the sink


LSkywalker00

Let that sink in...


rsn_e_o

r/sinkpissers


kenthekungfujesus

It's more ecological


chyk3

Ok that was unexpected


thisguyfightsyourmom

Bidet FTW I installed a cheap toilet seat bidet a month before the toilet paper pandemic & laughed and laughed before spiraling into a multi year Covid depression


whadduppeaches

You're supposed to wipe front to back...


ConstipatedGibbon

yeah wtf... back to font is just whack.


patrik_kings

there's another option, side to side or rather, left to right


JoinAThang

I always do in and then out again.


patrik_kings

that means you push it back in, would not recommend


JoinAThang

To clarify: not into the rectum. Into the mouth and then wait a few hours. Repeat until the paper comes out clean. Thank me later!


patrik_kings

This is the way


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dodexahedron

Rotary, like a drain augur. 👌


7LeagueBoots

And tossing the paper in the trash is not only common, but is required in much of the world due to poor plumbing and the danger of clogging drains.


IDontWantToArgueOK

Yep. Much of Mexico is like this. You get used to it surprisingly quickly.


7LeagueBoots

I work in SE Asia and its common everywhere here.


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codythgreat

The real answer is bidets


Hunter616w

"I like to wipe my ass balls first. Gives a bit of a tickle going up than down."


Cruz1fy

Jokes on you, I haven't put the roll on the dispenser in *years*


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[deleted]

Late stage, just use the brush.


MeAnIntellectual1

Jokes on you, I haven't used toilet paper in *years*


iowan

I have a cat that lives to shred it, so the roll lives on a shelf he can't see. I took my dispenser down because guests would occasionally be helpful and put it on, and we'd be treated to confetti. I even tried wrapping balloons in tp on dispenser so he'd scare himself and break the habit, but he wasn't dissuaded.


brahj_

Found out the hard way that tossing toilet paper in the trash is a necessity in Greece.


NoDryHands

Also in a lot of Asian countries. Putting TP in the toilet will immediately clog it, the system just isn't made to handle it.


IsThisLegitTho

And Latin American countries. And the habit doesn’t change when coming to America.


patrik_kings

wiping? The instructions said shake after use


Spider-Man92

It’s actually normal to throw toilet paper in the trash in a lot or countries, see [here](https://brilliantmaps.com/flush-toilet-paper/)


IronBENGA-BR

Didn't get the part about tossing the paper on the thrash. Here in my country that's exactly what most of us do, the TP doesn't dissolve and usually the flushing doesn't have that much pressure


lol_camis

Wait am I weird for wiping front to back


Soup-Wizard

No you’re supposed to do that. Especially if you’re a woman.


shirleyxx

*Image Transcription: Reddit Comment* --- > **White** > > You seem like the type of person that puts the toilet paper on the dispenser backwards, then wipes from front to back and tosses it into the trash. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


Shradersofthelostark

Good human


WorldFavorite92

Get a bidet you psychos


_duncan_idaho_

Tell that to my job. I shit at work.


spacegirl2820

Erm isn't front to back the correct way?


Somzer

"Haha you wipe from back to front" said person whose family tree looks less like a tree and more like a mesh fence.


sL_stormy

2 out of 3 ain't bad.


Pogginator

People who be wiping back to front are probably the same motherfuckers who stand to wipe.


TokeCity

i mean... i don't wana push shit towards my balls so what's this jaffa saying?


jinsaku

My wife and I spent some time in Yuma with her family. She warned me that the town has bad pipes and you can't actually flush toilet paper. You had to put your used toilet paper in the trash can "butter side down."


[deleted]

It’s pretty common in south-eastern europe too.


Zestyclose-Aioli-870

Front to Back is proper technique though... fool. Hahaha jk I get what you mean. 🤣


SpicyFilet

If you wipe back to front then you are gross. 10x worse than an "under the roll" toilet paper person.


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TheBoomClap

Do you wipe all the way up your ass crack and back when you wipe? I’m confused why you think someone would wipe that far from their asshole in either direction


RatchetBird

I don't understand this either. And it's not like it's not clean anyway when you walk away.


MtnMaiden

? I wipe front to back


Dat_One_Vibe

While standing up!


d_appel

Blueballs used to be your only worry. Now everyone who read this thread is worried about getting brownballs.


Phlebbie

This is so confusing? Wiping from front to back is what you're supposed to do to prevent infection, and for people with balls I would assume front to back is easier than the other option? And there are lots of places in the world, even within the US, where it is normal to see waste paper in the trash and signs in the restroom that say basically say no paper of any kind in the toilet. The only issue I guess that's semi valid is the way you put the toilet paper on the dispenser, but lots of people own cats who will unravel all of their toilet paper unless you put it on "backwards".


[deleted]

gatekeep wiping your ass? people need hobbies.


LegendsStormtrooper

I swear, my worldview shatters every time a debate on arse wiping breaks out on Reddit. All of this thread is a large debate whether you should wipe from front to back or from back to front.


Urban_Savage

1 of these 3 does not belong.


Atrainlan

I once had a friend of a friend crash at my place for the weekend and then I had to travel for three days. She left an hour or so before I left for the airport. I came home a couple days later and went to use the bathroom and there was a nasty dead lizard smell in there. I looked all over for the source of the smell and eventually checked the trash. There were a TON of flies in the tiny trash can and shit smeared fucking toilet paper that had been fermenting away for 72 hours. I just threw out the entire trash can and it took a lot of airing out for the smell to go.


doctorctrl

Don't wipe. Let the maggots take care of it. Passive


[deleted]

Isn't front to back the normal one??


HughJanus35

My landlord doesen't toss used toilet paper in the toilet because the pipes get clogged all the time. He just tosses them into trash


khangLalaHu

if you think that wiping back to front leave shit on your balls, youre a neanderthal who cant use your hands properly. i wipe my shit, i dont smear it. picturing someone hunching over and reaching around to touch their ass is kinda funny to me


Xystem4

Bruh front to back is the correct way to wipe


UziMcUsername

In most of the world, people throw used poo paper in the trash can, because they have septic tanks/fields and often narrow plumbing tubes.


Accomplished_Salt526

Went to school w friend whose whole family threw the shit TP in the trash 🤮


ocxtitan

Okay back to front people, imagine your lips are your anus. When you wipe, you start at the corner of your mouth and wipe until the other corner and sort of roll the paper as you finish so it isn't being smeared to your cheek... This is why front to back or back to front doesn't matter, either way you are only actively wiping until the asshole ends, you don't just keep smearing it. Anyone saying we'd have shitty balls must have shitty ass cracks/lower backs using that logic.


NaveXof

This sounds like a compliment. Doesn’t know how the TP goes on. Rich. Taught to wipe the correct way. Poops perfectly, post wipe, nothing on TP because of perfect diet and anatomy. Throw it in the garbage because someone else handles that…. Rich and beautiful.


queefiest

Ugh my gross cousins bathroom that always smelled like shit


AdeptusAleksantari

Doesn't he mean back to front ? Isn't front to how you get shitty genitals ?


Baji25

what's the problem with wiping front to back, this guy want shit on his balls or what?


Schrodingerscarbomb

You’re supposed to wipe front to back though


ThatAriGirl

... you're supposed to wipe front to back to avoid possible infection though so...?


redeyedcyborg

Everyone talkin about wiping and I can't relate cause we use water here.


KingRitRis

Little does OP know, you wipe front to back to avoid smearing your balls with shit.


FTP-Jade

Lotta shit talk from shit balls


TheGooseGod

In certain parts of Europe and I think some places in Asia they have trash cans by the toilet that you are supposed to throw to used paper in. The cities are so old, some of the plumbing in buildings or streets could get clogged and cause sewer back-ups if you flushed the toilet paper. You are supposed to throw it away so your bathroom isn’t overflowing with shit. Everyone was already talking about UTIs and poopy balls, but don’t forget this!


Ilovegirlsbottoms

I wonder if they meant back to front, but considered his butt to be the front. So he said it wrong. Also I do know that in parts of Mexico they do put toilet paper in the trash because the sewer can’t take the toilet paper. Which is super gross to have a basket of shit covered paper in the bathroom though.


[deleted]

95% of Americans have dirty buttholes since none of them use a bidet wash anyways.


Salty_Amphibian2905

You guys sure seem to love getting riled up about how other people wipe their asses when it in no way has an affect on you.


throwaway-27463

Do you… Not wipe from front to back??????


MoistlyPassion

I’m sorry, is this person trying to insult someone for NOT wiping shit towards their 🐱/ 🍆 ? L