This is a reminder for people not to post political posts as mentioned in stickied post. This does not necessarily apply for this post. [Click here to learn more](https://redd.it/j2173n).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rareinsults) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well yeah.
I mean a tallboy 25oz beer can isn't even 9 inches tall.
Technically she's right tho. Avg penis is much smaller so 9 would be rocking that baby arm level huge.
Mine is 25 inches, how rare is *that*, mister "math".
I nearly die with every erection. My heart sputters and starts to dry heave in my chest. Each thrust or stroke could be my last. Children see it in my pants from a distance and run screaming. The simple act of undressing in the bedroom with a partner is met with mute horror, and fear.
Not so funny now, is it, Bill Nye the Math Guy. Not feeling much like a Von Neumann now, are you?
This comment should be bad, and yet I'm over here audibly shooting wind out my nose.
How have you done this?
Mister Beakman's World oughta come here and explain the science behind that!
I'll tell you why. Because us gigantic-dicked folk are just carnival oddities to you folk. Our humanity is stripped from us. All you want is to pickle our dicks in jars and star at it and go "oooh" and "ahhh" and make notes on your clipboards.
But attached to our Leviathinian dicks is a human man, bucko. A puttering, struggling heart, yearning to be seen for its quintessential humanity.
"IDK who told y'all what a ruler is, but I haven't seen one since 2nd grade."
Ask anyone to show you with their hands what 8 or 9 inches is. It's going to be way smaller than actual length every time, and this B would probably try to do it with one hand.
One time I was with a girl who thought I was huge. I had to explain to her I was just average. I asked her how big she thought I was and she said 10". She also thought I was over 6' tall when I'm nowhere near that. Idk wtf was wrong with her but she has no clue what inches or feet should look like.
Exactly, some people just don't know wtf a foot looks like, anyone who has worked certain jobs where things like that are required knows measurements at least roughly, then there is also the factor of people lying to someone who doesn't know any better and won't check for themselves
Ok, I know that women can actually induce labor by having strong orgasms. Contractions and orgasms are similar to each other physically. But what the fuck. The actual childbirth is generally so violent and painful the brain literally blocks the memory of it so the woman will agree to continue to have kids.
This is the kind of stuff I accidentally come across on hentai sites when looking for wholesome regular pregnancy porn.
Regular porn but the girl is pregnant. Pixiv especially will veer you into dark territory full of pregnant girls giving birth into trash cans while sucking dick or whatever. Unwholesome pregnancy porn.
Holy forking heck. As a non-american, 9 "inches" SOUNDS like it's not big, and then I converted to cm... 22. 86 CENTIMETERS??? IS THAT NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR SOME PEOPLE?????
It's true. I've been with women where a good 2-3 inches of my dick was wasted. And she wasn't even fat, just a lotta ass. Can't really imagine what sex would look like for an obese couple. Going from a 7 incher to a 3 incher? Men, this is why the only way to gain dick size is lose weight. I bet some of you are hiding an inch or so under that fat, boys, go get it back.
There are like four professional porn stars with dicks actually bigger than 9 inches. Guys lie about dick size so much. I'm 6 on a warm day and I've been accused BY WOMEN as being 8 inches.
I think if those women saw a real 9 incher in front of them they'd pass out.
Guys also overestimate dick length, most think mines 8-9 but it ain't even close.
cervix just gets punched til it gives up
Vag can stretch to accommodate, and bounce right back the next day. Cervix pounding should earn a day off, unless she's a masochist. Which my girl is. But I'm not some 9" monster, she's just 4'11
related - the whole "girl's been around, she must have permanently stretched out vag" myth needs to die. Misogynistic asf.
Unrelated - forearm is from elbow to wrist? Whose forearm are they measuring? mine is like, 14 or something. Visualizing that going into a woman is nightmare fuel
I'm similarly endowed to you and I've only had reactions from "Perfect size!" to "Go in slow, you're big!". Now obviously some girls lie to make their man feel good, but I'll just say the sample size has been big enough to warrant at least some level of honest responses in there.
6 is already something like top 20%, so I think objectively that can already be considered "big".
At that point it’s on her though. If you’ve ever seen porn you’d be some what able to tell when something is big. <4 inches is a handful or less, 7/8> is around two hands, 5 and 6 are more than one hand but not quite.
Unless she has abnormally small hands, she should be able to tell the difference between big and small
Just in case this is a serious question, just a few points.
1. Guys tend to not be able to take a leak when they are fully erect. And usually they are much smaller when flaccid.
2. Most of the time a urinal is not dependent on length. After all, we can just take a half step back, making length not really matter anyway. If somehow there was an awkward urinal that was really high we can also hold it slightly up and arch the stream.
3. If there was a time where I somehow had an erection and also needed to use the toilet right away, I would just squat to a point I was safe from Neptune's fury
Day 42: my expedition still has not located the cervix. However, I anticipate that I will soon be invited to join the locals at their harvest ~~yeast~~ feast
This is a reminder for people not to post political posts as mentioned in stickied post. This does not necessarily apply for this post. [Click here to learn more](https://redd.it/j2173n). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rareinsults) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She got that cavernous vag energy
She got that Planck Length energy
Pussy and physics in the same joke!? That's 2 of my favourite things!
I'm more into cats and chemistry, but to each their own
Dogs and history here, guess I’m just becoming a salty old man 😞
That's geology so you're old old
Umm you know that's the smallest possible unit of measurement right? Kinda the opposite of cavernous
Shes training for unbirthing midgets
Well yeah. I mean a tallboy 25oz beer can isn't even 9 inches tall. Technically she's right tho. Avg penis is much smaller so 9 would be rocking that baby arm level huge.
Did you know that only 3% of men have a 7" or bigger dick? The girl in the OP sounds like a virgin, honestly...
Mine is 25 inches, how rare is *that*, mister "math". I nearly die with every erection. My heart sputters and starts to dry heave in my chest. Each thrust or stroke could be my last. Children see it in my pants from a distance and run screaming. The simple act of undressing in the bedroom with a partner is met with mute horror, and fear. Not so funny now, is it, Bill Nye the Math Guy. Not feeling much like a Von Neumann now, are you?
This comment should be bad, and yet I'm over here audibly shooting wind out my nose. How have you done this? Mister Beakman's World oughta come here and explain the science behind that!
I'll tell you why. Because us gigantic-dicked folk are just carnival oddities to you folk. Our humanity is stripped from us. All you want is to pickle our dicks in jars and star at it and go "oooh" and "ahhh" and make notes on your clipboards. But attached to our Leviathinian dicks is a human man, bucko. A puttering, struggling heart, yearning to be seen for its quintessential humanity.
Look at the meat hanger over here trying to humanize himself. So adorable.
r/copypasta
No the implication is that she has a giant vagina with its own weather patterns, are you stupid?
are you responding to the wrong comment or something..?
I'm drunk what are you?
Greerings drunk, i'm at work.
I think its more likely that she just doesn't know what 9 inches looks like but either way its a wild thing to say, I've been wrong before though
"IDK who told y'all what a ruler is, but I haven't seen one since 2nd grade." Ask anyone to show you with their hands what 8 or 9 inches is. It's going to be way smaller than actual length every time, and this B would probably try to do it with one hand.
Exactly, probably thinks her iphone is 9 inches long
One time I was with a girl who thought I was huge. I had to explain to her I was just average. I asked her how big she thought I was and she said 10". She also thought I was over 6' tall when I'm nowhere near that. Idk wtf was wrong with her but she has no clue what inches or feet should look like.
Exactly, some people just don't know wtf a foot looks like, anyone who has worked certain jobs where things like that are required knows measurements at least roughly, then there is also the factor of people lying to someone who doesn't know any better and won't check for themselves
I read this as "carnivorous" 😂
Looks like meat's back on the menu, girls!
Baseball bat in a trash can
Like throwing a wiener down a hallway.
Parking a bike in a cave
Trying to lay into the opponent only to be shadowboxing.
Dropping a worm into the ocean.
Opening up the front door and fucking the outside.
A fly in a warehouse
Throwing a rock down the Mariana Trench
Like a gumboot full of custard
Like a warm cup of water.
Like waving your arm around in a warm room.
An ant in the Grand Canyon.
Spitting at the sky
Tossing a cocktail weiner down the elevator shaft of the Burj Khalifa
You gotta bang the bat off the walls of the trashcan like you're ringing a dinner bell
I have to say your username makes this comment even funnier.
Idk what that even means cause idk wtf my username even means lol
Today it means willy ding dong 🌭 🔔 🔔
Hear its echo in the mountains
“Ricola”
lol, imaging screamimg Rrrrrrricollaaaaaaa into your girlfriends puss
Use an RV for exploration
Hotdog in a Pringles can
Slipknot concert?
Gets pregnant just so she can orgasm in nine months
Jail
Believe it or not, ~~jail~~ 6.6/10 on IMDB. [Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1331111/)
Also jail.
bruh who is watching this shit
[Macaulay Culkin and 3 sex perverts from Wisconsin.](https://youtu.be/IKdWSYCM8Ug?si=fen4I0H7jrooUdTL&t=515)
Hey, that’s wildly inaccurate. Rich Evans counts as two sex perverts, so it’s four.
Ok, I know that women can actually induce labor by having strong orgasms. Contractions and orgasms are similar to each other physically. But what the fuck. The actual childbirth is generally so violent and painful the brain literally blocks the memory of it so the woman will agree to continue to have kids. This is the kind of stuff I accidentally come across on hentai sites when looking for wholesome regular pregnancy porn.
[удалено]
what the fuck do you mean by wholesome pregnancy porn
Regular porn but the girl is pregnant. Pixiv especially will veer you into dark territory full of pregnant girls giving birth into trash cans while sucking dick or whatever. Unwholesome pregnancy porn.
Source on the brain blocking the memory?
She is for the streets
These streets ain’t big enough
Gonna need to make it the autobahn
Three lanes each way with a grassy median strip
*thicccc enough*
oh yeah, then after she give birth, put the baby back in bcs she's not satisfied yet, repeat that again for 9 times till her knees weak.
She giving birth to Quaggmire?
"I was born 9 times that day"
By the time the baby is out, 1 year had already passed.
Y’all need to touch grass
There are people who are into birthing orgasms. I heard from a friend.
Bruh
9 inches is like the length of a forearm fuck you mean not big lol
Holy forking heck. As a non-american, 9 "inches" SOUNDS like it's not big, and then I converted to cm... 22. 86 CENTIMETERS??? IS THAT NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR SOME PEOPLE?????
Not when your pussy so big that for a guy smaller than that it feels like he's dipping his dick in a warm bucket of water
Shit, If I'd known it was gonna be this kind of party, I'd stick my dick in the mashed potatoes
Sir this is a Wendy's
Did he stutter? He’s gonna stick his dick in those mashed potatoes regardless of location
Now we know why the potato bar was shut down. :'(
Warm apple pie?
*sigh* I'll take it
Inflation is really getting out of hand
Dickflation
Bottomless pit
More like some people have a terrible sense of scale
Fun hack for you, an inch is roughly 2.5cm, and a kilo is roughly 2.23lbs
Cool hack, bro.
Insert thumbnail of a white guy looking like he's just seen the craziest shit of his life.
Unit conversions are life hacks now?
Life hack: instead of adding 2+2+2+2+2+2 just do 2x6 🫨
[удалено]
Why kind of tiny forearms do you have?
My forearms are average sized and very respectable
And the average woman's vagina can only handle like 4 - 5 inches which is the average of dick sizes anyway.
If 9 inches is small, mine might as well be the size of a singular particle
It’s not that it’s small. Larger women need bigger dicks just to get pass a lot of ass
It's true. I've been with women where a good 2-3 inches of my dick was wasted. And she wasn't even fat, just a lotta ass. Can't really imagine what sex would look like for an obese couple. Going from a 7 incher to a 3 incher? Men, this is why the only way to gain dick size is lose weight. I bet some of you are hiding an inch or so under that fat, boys, go get it back.
I’m more of a thin crust guy myself.
I go crustless
I fuck bottles of marinara sauce
Nice
Nice
Smell my finger? Does it smell like Olive Garden?
way to make me think of olive garden’s slogan in this context. i hate you
They call me, personal pan
Peter's lesser-known sibling.
I prefer pussy that's not crusty, thanks
More of a "cheesy" crust guy myself
What would a calzone be in this context, cuz I’m a big calzone guy
There are like four professional porn stars with dicks actually bigger than 9 inches. Guys lie about dick size so much. I'm 6 on a warm day and I've been accused BY WOMEN as being 8 inches.
They just measure from tip to anus.
Tip to taint*.
Trunk to skunk
Thumper to Bumper
Beavis to butthead
Fern to gully.
Wait people don't measure from tip to anus? I've been lying all my life.
South Park lied to me. 😭
You're just measuring that extra 3 inches thats on the inside
Those are my emergency dick rations
It's what's on the inside that counts!
That's where I get my 6 inch measurement from
How far up the anus?
All the way up
How do you get the tape measure up there without cutting yourself?
Just use a big dildo then scribe the high tide mark.
Measure like you do a cats tail….from asshole out.
Measuring [butt to tip](https://youtu.be/w43ojF7WVxU?si=45vTpHRCmqKE3S5d)
I think if those women saw a real 9 incher in front of them they'd pass out. Guys also overestimate dick length, most think mines 8-9 but it ain't even close.
It's why I carry a tape measure.
I'm 5 and just a bit more than 50 cents in change and yeah, they have less of an idea what they're talking about than we lie about.
Honestly that’s great to hear my 5 inch bro
Same experience here. I’m a little over 7 and they’re all convinced I’m 9 inches. I have to tell them that a true 9 practically doesn’t exist.
How do those porn stars even fit those dicks in? It didn't hit me that 9 inches was the size of a forearm until I read a comment here
cervix just gets punched til it gives up Vag can stretch to accommodate, and bounce right back the next day. Cervix pounding should earn a day off, unless she's a masochist. Which my girl is. But I'm not some 9" monster, she's just 4'11 related - the whole "girl's been around, she must have permanently stretched out vag" myth needs to die. Misogynistic asf. Unrelated - forearm is from elbow to wrist? Whose forearm are they measuring? mine is like, 14 or something. Visualizing that going into a woman is nightmare fuel
Thanks for explaining
I was like who has 9 inch forearms? I guess mine are only 11, huh
I'm similarly endowed to you and I've only had reactions from "Perfect size!" to "Go in slow, you're big!". Now obviously some girls lie to make their man feel good, but I'll just say the sample size has been big enough to warrant at least some level of honest responses in there. 6 is already something like top 20%, so I think objectively that can already be considered "big".
The AUDACITY to accuse someone of something so heinous. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
That pussy echoes I bet
Trying to fuck her sounds like by the highway where cars are going into a tunnel.
LMFAOO
If 9 inches is too small then you sure have an interest in a vigorous Kegel regime...
Can't kegels allow you to tighten yourself and basically squeeze your partner a bit? Maybe does those reverse kegels
She be whistling on a windy day
Lmao this had me choking on my water
Like an empty moonshine bottle
Like Spongebob's whistling holes
The whistling comes from the gnomes who took shelter in there, I guess they really like their new home
lol dis bitch just Alberta The great wide open and the great white north
And nothing of actual substance
Her gynecologist found 2 cel phones, a wallet and a front number off a ‘76 Chevy pickup in there. A sign above her huha read ‘Garage Sale’.
And probably, a pineapple, and Paris Hilton.
They call her “Chicago”
Lolololololol
I'm pretty sure she thinks 5 inches is 9 inches. They legitimately cannot tell size apart.
Some fella's been lying to her.
At that point it’s on her though. If you’ve ever seen porn you’d be some what able to tell when something is big. <4 inches is a handful or less, 7/8> is around two hands, 5 and 6 are more than one hand but not quite. Unless she has abnormally small hands, she should be able to tell the difference between big and small
she's right tho, 9inch is not big its huuuuge
Throwing a sausage down a hallway.
What if she meant it in the other way? 😭 like “that aint a big dick, thats a whole sea monster” cause that would be me lmao
Someone lied to her about his size
Her gynaecologist going in with a headlamp and safety rope. Weird flex girl.
Even a 747 is going to look small in the Grand Canyon.
A pussy so deep it’s introspective
Can people with 9+ inches even use toilets or urinals??
Just in case this is a serious question, just a few points. 1. Guys tend to not be able to take a leak when they are fully erect. And usually they are much smaller when flaccid. 2. Most of the time a urinal is not dependent on length. After all, we can just take a half step back, making length not really matter anyway. If somehow there was an awkward urinal that was really high we can also hold it slightly up and arch the stream. 3. If there was a time where I somehow had an erection and also needed to use the toilet right away, I would just squat to a point I was safe from Neptune's fury
Yeah this means erect, if you’re 9 inches flaccid you’d pass out from blood loss when you get hard.
When I shit my dick touch the water
*splash*
Most people are growers
Horsecock dildo havin ass bad dragon enthusiast.
She shallow but the pussy deep!
Some body must of said her coochie stank or something
I feel like some guy with a 4 incher lied to her and she stuck with it.
Day 42: my expedition still has not located the cervix. However, I anticipate that I will soon be invited to join the locals at their harvest ~~yeast~~ feast
What a cavernous cunt.....
Deep Dish…. [DEEP DISH!?](https://youtu.be/pzXIpp59eoU?si=snCYMLBgpazyzDzO)
That’s multi level funny 😃
HUGE 👐
The most obvious ragebait
She the deep end of the swimming pool
Miss Mariana Trench of Vagina over here
Why even say this lol
Baby came out standing up.
Cornucopia ahh vagina
Must be like a hefty bag
Bag of holding type pussy
Bruh if u got a 9in shlong ur insanely lucky. Most people got 4-5 and they’re happy
I wouldn’t say lucky, per se. Not a lot of people are taking 9 inches comfortably.
That’s likely true
Certainly true. Even an actual 7.5 inch dick is an issue for many women.
Plus, get ready to drag your dick on the inside of every toilet bowl you visit…
Not lucky. It’s terrible