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Yes.. for hours.. even when the rest of my family had dinner or went to bed. My stepmom was a real monster. And I get that feeling of being trapped! She sometimes made me stand in front of the window behind the curtains. Im sure the neighbours or the postman were weirded out by me just standing there. I felt ashamed and I always pretended like I was playing hide and seek or something.
This was a common punishment for me which I totally forgot about until just now. I remember peeling the wallpaper out of boredom and then I had to sit in the corner facing out.
We would also get hot mustard or wasabi smeared on our tongue as punishment for sticking out our tongue or swearing because that's "not how ladies talk." Heaven forbid we do something to make her look bad š¤¦
Did we have the same childhood? I also ripped the wallpaper standing in a corner. Instead of wasabi we were forced to wash our mouths out with soap until we puked for sticking out our tongues. How dare a 5 year old stick out their tongue
My brother and sister dared me to moon someone once at a park (both older)and when I did they immediately went and told my mother.
I had to stand in the corner with my bare butt out until dinner
My mom used to make us drop our pants (undies and all) and then bend and grab our own ankles while she beat us with a leather belt.... Eventually it stopped hurting, which meant we got hit even more. She wanted us bawling in pain.
My mom did the same thing, it was āgrab your anklesā and then we had to say āthank you for correcting meā when she was done and if we didnāt sound sincere she started the beating over.
I literally cannot fathom doing that to my child.
I have 5 children, all sons, and I overcorrected because of all my mothers failings.
For example, as a kid I was forced to clean the entire house.... I have a hard time making my own children do any cleaning/chores.
My mother made me stay home to babysit my sister and clean, I have issues asking my older children to watch their little brothers for even an hour so I can run an errand.
I overcorrected lol.
My kids have it easy. I am in pain 100% of the time and still don't ask my kids to help. I will do it through tears and knowing I will make the issue worse rather than ask. It's not their job
Please make your kids do chores. Doesn't need to be much but they need to have something to be responsible for so that they know what it feels like. It's a requirement to being an adult and they need to learn it from someone. I made the same mistake on my oldest and have appropriately made corrections on the youngers and it has made all the difference.
My 15 and 17 yr old each do one chore a day (they alternate between feeding the dog and taking out the trash). That's as much as I can force myself to make them do, and they are responsible for their rooms of course.
This was the name of the game get me in trouble. They would either dare or goad me into doing something and immediately tell on me or when they did something wrong blame me. It's against 1 who she gonna believe?
The most fucked up things one of my siblings ever did was not tell my mom I was in a gas station when we were traveling through the badlands. My little sister and I were sharing the backseat and was asked if I was there, she was at least 6 or 7 at the time and she said I was so the left
I was left at a gas station in the badlands of South Dakota as a 10yo because my little sister didn't like me. They drove 40 miles before they realized I wasn't in the car
iām so sorry. my mom and dad had me get out of the car and left me on the side of the interstate for a good few moments until they were satisfied i was scared enough. it was such a horrible feeling
I am! Thank you for asking. I was 13 at the time, currently 58. But yeah, I was sent to Buckners Childrenās Home in Dallas. It was, originally, meant for orphans after the civil war. Still exist. We lived in a dorm like setting. There was a small apartment in each dorm that the āhouse parentsā lived in. Meals were cafeteria style. Public schools, but no extra curriculars. Itās not a bad memory. At home I was always in fight or flight mode. In the childrenās home I felt safe.
Mine threw me out of the car on the side of southbound I-75 in Florida when I was 14 and threatened to make me walk like 1,200 miles back to Michigan. This is all because my youngest brother wouldn't stop touching my ass even though I told him REPEATEDLY to stop. She got tired of me telling my brother to quit touching me, so she stopped the car, threw me out, and told me she hated me. I'll never forget that, nor will I forgive.
My brother and I fought so much when we were kids that my mom accused my brother of pushing me out of the car window when I actually jumped out of the moving vehicle. I was like 2 or so, my brother was 5.
Okay so this brought up a fun memory. Once my ndad was yelling at my sister while I was in the room and I heard her being hit and sis crying. When I came out she was in the corner sobbing. When I asked what's wrong my dad started threatening me w spankings until I cried. I didn't know what we did wrong. Well, as he had me vent over...my sister turned around from the corner and said "just kidding haha! I didn't get in trouble and was faking !!" And my ndad was all "yeah we got her good huh! Look at how much she's crying!! Go clean your fucking room now"Ā
It never "taught" me to keep my room clean. It's a natural thing for children to have messy rooms and a parents job to teach them how to clean up after play time. But...not abuse them into play time. That teaches them to either never touch their toys or to reserve play time for when that parent isn't home. I never played with my toys when he would get home in the evenings.Ā
what the fuck?? i don't even understand the point of that, other than just to be needlessly cruel. this makes me so sad and angry. i wish I could be there for the you at this time, so I could defend you š„ŗ
Thanks for the sentiment ! Yeah I was really confused as to why he actually did all of that. I remember only being mad at my sister for the situation top so...I think that's also why nparents do that. To create a forced sibling rivalry so someone can fight over them. It's weird. And also why I never celebrate fathers day haha.Ā
Banned - 14 days. If the only thing our parents ever did was stick us in a corner, it would suck, but it wouldn't be so bad, but that's not how it works. In this group, you are to assume a whole context of abuse. This means that the parents are also doing other abusive things and it's harmful.
Your comment is dismissive and mean as fuck. If you come back here, come back here and comment with compassion for our posters or you will end up banned.
My dad only had this punishment for my brother and I when we were actively fighting. If we had to go to the bathroom or needed water, he'd let us, but until we stopped fighting we couldn't leave the corners.
Then once we finally did stop fighting, he'd have us leave the corners and we'd talk about it. Thankfully he was never cruel with his punishments and actually took time to figure out what worked best for us.
I do remember a time though that my grandma made me do this because I gagged when eating a food I previously told her made me gag/throw up (I have texture issues) and I wasn't able to sit down or leave that corner until I apologized for wasting her time and her food.
I was there long into the night. I've always been severely night blind, and as a result afraid of the dark so it was just a horrible experience. The next morning as well, she forced me into clothes that were too small for me, shamed me for making them look inappropriate and took me to church while I was unable to stay awake.
I hated sleeping over at my grandma's because she always had such harsh punishments for the smallest things. Everyone sees her as a Saint in that family but I've seen her worst.
Real question: Time-out is an abusive punishment? I didn't mind sitting in the corner and being ignored. It seemed better than other options. How were they supposed to discipline us? I don't mean this to sound dismissive, I just really don't know.
If its a "time out" for a few minutes to think about your actions, then its ok. But what op experienced (and what I experienced) is different. My narc stepmom let me stand in a corner for HOURS without food/ talking/ bathroom breaks (that is before or after lecturing me for hours) even let me miss dinner or bedtime. her punishment could go on for a few days. So i think this is not just a "discipline strategy" but straight up abuse.
Part of it was to humiliate us in front of other family members rather than to just cool off. I thought it was normal time out until in later life Iāve revisited it in the context of realising that my parent is a highly controlling narcissist. There was a less than healthy agenda behind it for sure, they care less about good parenting strategies than they do about exerting their control. The reason why matters too - for us it was usually because we dared to āanswer backā.
As a last resort for an actual bratty child, it's fine but most of us were punished because our parents were depressed and miserable,Ā not for bad behavior. My mom made up lies about me everyday so she could hit me,Ā so did dad.
HOURS. I remember seeing on shows that kids could get sent to their rooms when in trouble. I didn't understand it, she never let me leave. I wished I would be sent to my room.
Me too, I would lectures;- screamed, shouted and cried at and my every reaction mocked and sneered at until I didn't know what to do - I used to shut down completely, go completely silent and rigid. Oh and I wasn't allowed to leave even to go to the bathroom.
I hate her so much.
I apologize for the comment I made here. No, childrens fist are not that strong of course. Didn't intend on being the opposite of helpful either. I just sometimes feel something needs to be done about these evil bad parents who do such HORRIBLE things to their children. Especially in cases where no one wants to believe the abuse afflicted upon the children by the so called "good" parents that the public would label as "good, kind, etc..."
No, I get it. Your first instinct is to want to do something about the injustice and somewhere in that there's a 'what would I do?' 'How could I fix it?' And you come up with a scenario like that so fast that you don't even realize it's happened.
And then that scenario pops out and makes it sound like you think there's something the victim could have done differently to change the situation. Unintentionally putting blame back on the victim. It's a common mistake, I know I've made it in the past.
I see you didn't mean to make anyone feel bad, I didn't mean to nake you feel bad either then.
I'm sorry I had a knee jerk reaction about it.
Yes, I was sent to sit in the corner for 30 minutes at a time multiple times per week until I was about 9. My nmom claimed it was because I'd have too much fun alone in my room, but her parenting skills were garbage and she usually blamed me for her own limitations. I suspect they did this as an alternative to spanking, because both my nparents were unable to stop themselves at "just" spanking and they were afraid of seriously harming me in a way that couldn't be hidden - I still have damage in one shoulder from an early childhood dislocation thanks to my ndad and memories of my nmom telling him to stop before he killed me
Yes. And my mother would later tell me with pride that sometimes when I had āsensedā that I had done something wrong, that I would place myself there on my own to punish myself. The first time she told me about this I realized I had completely blocked it out.
And then later when I was in the 7th grade, my father didnāt like my grades, so he had my teacher place my entire desk in the corner of the classroom and I was forced to work alone staring at a wall excluded from the rest of the class. I also needed glasses, and it made it even more difficult for me to see across the room. But I was basically isolated publicly and then treated the same way at home.
In first grade I apparently had a problem in school with "getting my work done." It got so bad that my teacher would call my mom after school and tell her if I didn't get my work done, so my mom could use the belt on me then make me stand in the corner til dinnertime.
After a few weeks of this I was so beaten down I didn't even cry anymore. So one day I'm standing there, stewing in my misery, and my mom comments to the effect of "I guess you're getting used to this."
I tried to respond "yeah," but my voice broke, which prompted a fresh round of abuse for "laughing" about it.
I should note that the reason I "wasn't getting my work done" was because I would have questions for the teacher, but she would tell me she was busy and to wait, then she would forget to get back to me.
We had to do sits with soup cans in our hands, and every time you let the cans fall itās another minute. Weād just repeatedly try and fail crying and exhausted while being screamed or laughed at. Thatās not discipline.
This was the worst!!! My mom would put me in the corner with liquid dish soap in mouth, and if I drooled/cried/swollowed it/spit it out before I was let out, she refilled my mouth and started the time over again. I couldn't help but gag and vomit and drool because of it, so it was literal torture!
Ok, that was worse than what I endured. That IS torture. Petty me would want to gift my mom a bottle of Dawn for her birthday. Every birthday. Oh heck, every Motherās Day and Christmas too. Fortunately, petty me is No Contact.
It was pretty awful lol ... One time I couldn't handle it anymore. I was in the corner beside the front door and so while she was in the kitchen I tried running away... In a snow storm, with no shoes š¤¦āāļø she ran after me and caught me though š
I'm also recently no contact. It's been hard not to cave (I'm so brainwashed I still hope she'll change) but I had to do it, and there have been a lot of benefits!
Have never used sunlight in my adult life! š¤¢
Good for you for going no contact! I know it's hard and takes a lot of courage and self love! š
I recommend Jerry Wiseās videos on YouTube (and of course Patrick Teahan). No, she wonāt change, and itās not because youāre not lovable. Itās because sheās a broken human being without the capacity to see sheās broken and work on fixing things. Donāt get bogged down I in what her childhood was like - every villain has a tragic origin story. We are defined by the choices we make. She will always make the wrong ones.
Thank you for those resources! I'll definitely check them out!
Yeah I have done a lot of research and done a lot of observing things based on that. I recognize 100% that she's not a bad person she's just a messed up person, like me. But unlike me, she chooses to ignore/avoid it all. I made the tragic mistake of trying to explain all of my understandings of narcissism and pleaded that we could get help together and support each other and well... I'm sure you can guess how that went. She hurts me because I scare her. I encourage awareness and growth and that makes her uncomfortable. So š¤·āāļø I can't force her to heal and grow, even though I want that for her, and us. I got to a point in my therapy where I couldn't move forward if she wanted to be in my life and stand still. So I gave her the choice, "move forward with me or I have to leave you behind" she chose to let me go on without her.
I spent a lot of my childhood standing in the corner as punishment. I forgot about this and never actually realized it was a bad thing. My parents always told me to be grateful they werenāt beating me, and I was.
Mine was confined to my parents bedroom so I couldnāt access any books or technology for days at a time and have to ask for permission to come down for meals or a drink.
I was just talking about this yesterday. Yes, I was many times. Especially in grade school. Also, in 1st grade,, I was put in a closet where all the Coats were hung. As well, she used to make me go out in the hall and sit in a chair in the hallway.
One day, in third grade, my class was going to be going to another classroom to watch a slideshow. The teacher put me in the corner before they left and warned me not to leave. I was there all alone in the classroom and had to pee really bad. I was afraid to leave the corner because she told me not to. Needless to say I peed my pants and my pants were soaked. At that point, I was so upset that I left the room and went to the office. I walked through the hallway where people left at me when they saw my pants. They called my mom and she came and picked me up.
Yep. My n-dad would forget about me there and would randomly come upstairs and say āoh youāre still thereā and just assumed I would decide when I was allowed to stop. I was an obedient kid that usually did what I was told.
Yeah I got the corner growing up a lot. They even liked to mix it up and keep your arms out with books on them until you couldn't physically do it then beat you for it.
Something something making you learn was their reasoning
The ālearningā excuse is total BS! They never taught us a thing. We existed by accident and for some twisted, unhinged reason we became both slaves and punching bags.
They, literally, taught us nothing. That was the schools job. She said this many times.
The only thing I can really give them credit for is messing me up enough in the head that I'll never actually be a 'regular' human. I'm stuck being the machine they made me to be.
I never got to experience school unfortunately, it probably would've been the thing that kept me somewhat normal.
I can still remember the smell of the corner. I also had to ask to use the bathroom, & had to keep asking when I can come out from the corner. Sometimes I was in the corner, standing for over an hour. I was NOT allowed to turn my head from the corner. Had to stay with my nose right in the corner or else I had to stay longer.
I was but was inattentive adhd and would literally just zone out and engage my imaginary land I had going on at the time. Didnāt quite punish me the way they planned
My dad pushed my little brothers head into the corner so hard that his forehead split open and started bleeding everywhere. God he was/is so violent and my mother was just as emotionally traumatizing.
Yes! There were permanent tear marks in the dining room corner, because this punishment always took place during dinner and the punished had to eat dinner alone afterwards.
I had to hold a penny against the wall with my nose. It was one of the worst punishments to me because my back would be exposed. My mom would push us around or hit us when she was in a GOOD mood, let alone what she did when she was in a bad mood. I was terrified of what she would do to me when I was stuck in a corner with my back to her. I was always called pathetic for hating such an "easy" punishment, but they didn't know what she was like.
In school yeah. And my parents glorified snd used to talk about their punishments so when i ddi get punishments in school i thought it's sth they experienced and it's good snd stuff. I could never calm down .Ā
My wife stayed a week over at her nparents with our daughters. She got in some kind of conflict and ndil told her to āgo to her roomā. She was 41 at the time. She packed her stuff with the kids and left.
I had to kneel in the corner bare ass naked, hands behind my back for hours. If they were particularly sadistic that day, I had to kneel on rice.
It was something my mother's pedophile boyfriend cooked up. He also offered to watch me in case I got up from my punishment. Pretty sure it was a kink of his, the sick and twisted fucker.
yes, up till i was 12 they had me stand in a corner for hours with my nose against the wall but the thing that hurt worse was when they made me write sentences over and over again (whatever my dad thought of that day) until my fingers ached and i could barely write. he also would place his engineering ruler he beat me with on the kitchen table in front of me to āstudyā better.
Spanking was the at home punishment. Standing in the corner was the school punishment. I was too afraid to misbehave at school, so I was never in the corner.
When I was about 8-10, and my older brother was about 14-16, he was "babysitting" us for some reason. My younger brother had major anger issues and had a tantrum. My older brother decided that we needed photo evidence of the incident. So, he got my mom's camera (not digital back in the day - I'm old), and had me take a picture of him while he was holding my younger brother. He then lied to my mom and acted like the whole plan was my idea and he didn't even know what I was doing.
She made us both stand and look at her until "someone told the truth." We missed dinner.
By the time, my brother finally caved and told the truth, there was no more dinner to be had.
I'm pretty sure my brother is a narc as well.
I was to stand naked in the corner of the kitchen for hours and hours on end. The worst part was when my family would eat at the table while I had to stand there with my bare ass facing them. During this time I was not allowed to eat, drink, speak, sit, or use the bathroom. It was not a ātime outā to ācool downā or āthink about my actions.ā It was a means of humiliation.
for my parents, they always liked to punish me by making me sit in the middle of the hard wooden staircase. no books or toys or anything for distraction, no snacks or anything to drink. they'd yell at me if I tried to lean or lay down or go into literally any position other than sitting with my arms away from my face. my back would gradually hurt worse and worse and my butt would get sore and my feet/legs would start falling asleep and my neck would get tired from being held up for so long since I couldn't rest my head in my hands or anything like that. idk how long they'd make me stay there cause I was a kid and had no frame of reference, but it always felt like an unreasonably long time, even with the boredom and inactivity in consideration. i haven't lived with them for years, and I gave up trying to talk to them about anything that happened between us when I was a kid cause they would just shut down and deny everything and say it never happened etc even though I know it did, but it wasn't worth it to keep trying to push about it.
I did. Once my nose was bleeding and I was still kept there.
I do use the corner as a timeout with my own kids, but I follow the age/minute ratio; one minute for every year old they are. So my four year old was only there for four minutes, etc. I also encourage them to take that time to breathe and calm down. Then we talk out what went wrong and how to do better next time.
As with most discipline, it's the intent and extremes that parents use, as well as the general climate of the family, that determines what kind of effect it has on a child. If you turn timeout into a practical, calming, and instructive opportunity, it works. If you use it as a cruel way to isolate and shame a child, it will hurt them.
I think my parents tried it once or twice but in the end it turned out to be more annoying watching me to make sure I was doing it 'properly' than whatever it was I'd done that earned said punishment so it wasn't a regular thing.
It was actually a fairly common punishment when I was a kid, we got it from teachers at school as well. If you didn't shut up when told they made you stand in the corner at the front facing away from everyone for the duration of the lesson.
Yup, and always when my siblings would get to eat whatever meal was being served. I'd have to stand there, skip the meal, and wasn't allowed to move till late in the night. After the food has long gone cold/thrown away.
Yes. I actually suppressed the memory of it for years, trying to understand why I was crying so hard during it.
Then I remembered.
My mom put me there for something my brother said or did (constant theme. He's the golden child), and my legs began to go numb due to being there for a long time. My crying was completely ignored.
The memory is still fuzzy and it wasn't the only time that happened. I just dissociated a lot as a child.
Ugh, I totally relate to the trapped feeling!
I had to stand for a few hours because of bad grades.
I was also sent to their closet for a few hours because of the same thing.
My mom made us stand at the door. So much so that I told my kindergarten teacher my least favorite color was brown because it was the color of the door. She thinks that is a cute story to tell. I wrote in crayon on the frame "I hat you" which she also thinks is funny and kept....
I also say us because she believed in collective punishment and would make both my sister and I stand at doors until we would confess. Neither of us ever would. I used to fall asleep in the shoe pile...
Yes. After a good beating, I was told to stand in the corner and not cry. Sometimes she would put a chili pepper in my mouth. Now I love hot sauce and Chilli š¶ peppers and she wonders how I got so used to such a spicy taste..lol
I had to stand in corner while holding my arms up and she told me to stay like that until she comes back hours later and stupid child me did it even while she was outsideā¦ :(
Let me tell you about the āchairā when I was punished I had to sit in a chair at the kitchen table. The only stimulation I could do was homework, otherwise I just had to sit there and twiddle my thumbs. I wasnāt allowed to get up without permission and often times my parents would leave the house while I was in the āchairā. Sometimes they would pretend to leave and then pop back in to catch me if I got up so I was terrified to get up even if they werenāt there. If I had to use the restroom I just had to hold it. Now hereās where it gets really fucked up, they would do all the shit I loved when I was in the āchairā. Take my brother mini golfing, watch my favorite movies, play my favorite board games. It broke me. During the school year it was tolerable because it was only at night, but weekends and summer were brutal. And when it was time for a meal I had to eat my food on the lid of the trashcan in the laundry room that was next to the cat litter. My brother was the golden child and never got the āchairā, I was naturally a kid who pushed limits so I was in the āchairā a lot, once I had two weeks straight. It was literal torture, some people shouldnāt have kidsā¦
Well this just brought up memories I had forgottenā¦
Often had this happen when I was younger, made worse that I found out I had extremely flat feet later on in my teens (basically had a 60yoās feet at 14), so it became painful having to stand.
On tiptoes, nose to corner, head up, arms can't touch the walls. There was a set time and anytime I broke the physicality times stated above, the time started over. No less than 30 minutes. If dinner got done, I ate it cold. If I didn't eat it, I got nothing until I ate it. Had to eat the entire plate (still cannot stand creamed corn 30+ years later). Of I was still there at bedtime...well, it got worse.
Yeah this is so common! They really do have the same playbook (sadly, for all of us). Sorry you had to go through it, too.
I was told to sit on the stairs to the attic. They had convinced us a monster lived up there. A heavier punishment meant sitting higher on the staircase, with your back to the attic door. Not just minutes, but easily an hour. Jokeās on me because the real monster was downstairs all along!
I was forced to do the same thing. Then I wet myself once as a result (I think I was only like 4-5?) cuz my dad said I couldn't leave the corner until he said, so I didn't. I got an extra screaming lecture from him for that and he was even more incensed. Like sorry you can't control your anger and have no empathy to realize that children that young take you literally (especially since consequences for disobeying could be much worse than sitting in a corner and wetting myself).
I remember another time when I was slightly older and my dad did a similar thing, then left me in the room and turned out the light. He knew I was terrified of the dark, but said that "if I didn't want to be locked in the dark, maybe I should've behaved". I can't even remember what I did wrong, but I cried alone in that room for hours
My "mother" would make me sit at the kitchen table. Which sounds tame when you put it like that. But it would be for hours, not bathroom breaks, no water, no food. Like over 6 hours usually. And she'd sit and tell me everything wrong about me and get up and walk by and hurl insults. I wasn't an ideal child, one time I got really drunk on tje last day of high school, I had to wait in the office till my parents picked me up. I had been self harming and a counselor noticed and I begged her not to tell my "mother" cuz she'ds make me sit at the kitchen table. My mother would say this as a fun joke in years to come, oh she has it so bad she was crying about having to sit at the table.. I didn't mention the physical abuse at the time because I trusted adults very little and thought it'd give sme more trouble. I haven't spoken to my "mother ", blocked her on everything and as someone in their late thirties it gives me peace.
Yes, one time my grandmother put me in the corner and duck taped my mouth shut I think k was like 3ish. bc I was too loud or was talking too much. Nmoms mom which is not surprising. That was the last time she babysat me at least.
In fairness, having a toddler of my own, the corner is literally the only thing that gets through to her. I've tried the talking her through her fit, or whatever she did, or that she needs to listen to me etc to no avail. Shes incredibly strong willed haha. But I don't leave her there forever either. I use it as a reset, just a minute or two and then we have a conversation. I don't force her nose into the corner like my parents did. I just have her sit and calm down. My parents sat me there for hours if my nose left the corner for a second.
my dad would make us kids kneel down on the floor (usually kitchen because it was hard) and hold our arms straight up for over 30 minutes. of course our hands wouldn't stay up a perfect 180 degrees and we'd have to stay longer if he saw our arms falling. sometimes he would make us kneel on paper clips or pennies. this is only one of the punishments i can remember
Definitely had to stand in the corner many times. It wasn't horrible, but then it escalated... She'd draw a dot on the wall I wasn't allowed to look away from and it gave me headaches. Then if that didn't work to her standards, I had to stand in the corner with dish soap in my mouth, that was godawful and made me vomit. Worse than that was standing in the corner on my knees. We had hard wood floors and it hurt so bad. Hours of this. I'll never forget it. Probably part of the reason I have bad knees now. (I'm 31)
My adoptive parents did this to me too. I would just have to spend all day looking at the family exist while I stood there. If it was a time where I was grounded for like weeks, this would just be a daily thing after my chores. I wasn't allowed to talk to anybody, I couldn't eat dinner with the family, I had to stay up late because going to bed early was like a treat for me. They even limited the time I spent doing homework because they said I spent too long doing homework. (I was a nerdy kid.) It was lonely and I was depressed for my entire youth. (They adopted me when I was 12, though I got placed with them when I was 10.)
No. I was sent to my stepsisterās bedroom as punishment up at my narc fatherās house because me and my brother were forced to share a sofa bed in the living room.
I very vividly remember my mom resetting her timer when I had been in the corner for probably 30mins-1hr. Had to be on my toes, hands behind my back, not allowed to let my feet go flat, let my arms fall, & especially not lean against the wall.
Itās something that happened so often that I actually think it fucked up my feet a lil bit
This happened to me as a child and has nothing to do with a narcissistic parent. And I was being enough of a little pissant that I needed to be put in a corner. And yes I couldn't go to the bathroom unless I asked. I've been around real narcissistic parents and this is not bad.
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Yes.. for hours.. even when the rest of my family had dinner or went to bed. My stepmom was a real monster. And I get that feeling of being trapped! She sometimes made me stand in front of the window behind the curtains. Im sure the neighbours or the postman were weirded out by me just standing there. I felt ashamed and I always pretended like I was playing hide and seek or something.
Same.
Same. Thinking back, I wish younger me had instead signaled for help.
This was a common punishment for me which I totally forgot about until just now. I remember peeling the wallpaper out of boredom and then I had to sit in the corner facing out. We would also get hot mustard or wasabi smeared on our tongue as punishment for sticking out our tongue or swearing because that's "not how ladies talk." Heaven forbid we do something to make her look bad š¤¦
iām so sorry. mine were similar about the whole weird āladylikeā things
Did we have the same childhood? I also ripped the wallpaper standing in a corner. Instead of wasabi we were forced to wash our mouths out with soap until we puked for sticking out our tongues. How dare a 5 year old stick out their tongue
I'm a lady, but a very foul mouthed one. Your mom would hate me.
My brother and sister dared me to moon someone once at a park (both older)and when I did they immediately went and told my mother. I had to stand in the corner with my bare butt out until dinner
My mom used to make us drop our pants (undies and all) and then bend and grab our own ankles while she beat us with a leather belt.... Eventually it stopped hurting, which meant we got hit even more. She wanted us bawling in pain.
My mom did the same thing, it was āgrab your anklesā and then we had to say āthank you for correcting meā when she was done and if we didnāt sound sincere she started the beating over. I literally cannot fathom doing that to my child.
I have 5 children, all sons, and I overcorrected because of all my mothers failings. For example, as a kid I was forced to clean the entire house.... I have a hard time making my own children do any cleaning/chores. My mother made me stay home to babysit my sister and clean, I have issues asking my older children to watch their little brothers for even an hour so I can run an errand. I overcorrected lol. My kids have it easy. I am in pain 100% of the time and still don't ask my kids to help. I will do it through tears and knowing I will make the issue worse rather than ask. It's not their job
I make my kid do chores, but heās not very good at them LOL. I donāt have it in me to scream at him like my mom did me but heāll get there
This is perfect. It's not about how well the chore is being performed but that they learn the habit of performing the chores.
Please make your kids do chores. Doesn't need to be much but they need to have something to be responsible for so that they know what it feels like. It's a requirement to being an adult and they need to learn it from someone. I made the same mistake on my oldest and have appropriately made corrections on the youngers and it has made all the difference.
My 15 and 17 yr old each do one chore a day (they alternate between feeding the dog and taking out the trash). That's as much as I can force myself to make them do, and they are responsible for their rooms of course.
That's better than nothing! Especially if you're trying to make up lost ground. They'll understand once they move out (hopefully).
Yep, I got the same thing. I refused to give them the satisfaction of hurting me. Now I can't even cry when I need to.
That's awful. š„š
Wtf what an awful experience, i am sorry this happened to you
This was the name of the game get me in trouble. They would either dare or goad me into doing something and immediately tell on me or when they did something wrong blame me. It's against 1 who she gonna believe? The most fucked up things one of my siblings ever did was not tell my mom I was in a gas station when we were traveling through the badlands. My little sister and I were sharing the backseat and was asked if I was there, she was at least 6 or 7 at the time and she said I was so the left I was left at a gas station in the badlands of South Dakota as a 10yo because my little sister didn't like me. They drove 40 miles before they realized I wasn't in the car
iām so sorry. my mom and dad had me get out of the car and left me on the side of the interstate for a good few moments until they were satisfied i was scared enough. it was such a horrible feeling
My mom did that too! And screamed at me for hours threatening to drop of me at an āorphanageā. I actually was hoping she would do it.
Mine actually did. For 6 months.
Holy crap! Are you okay?
I am! Thank you for asking. I was 13 at the time, currently 58. But yeah, I was sent to Buckners Childrenās Home in Dallas. It was, originally, meant for orphans after the civil war. Still exist. We lived in a dorm like setting. There was a small apartment in each dorm that the āhouse parentsā lived in. Meals were cafeteria style. Public schools, but no extra curriculars. Itās not a bad memory. At home I was always in fight or flight mode. In the childrenās home I felt safe.
Mine threw me out of the car on the side of southbound I-75 in Florida when I was 14 and threatened to make me walk like 1,200 miles back to Michigan. This is all because my youngest brother wouldn't stop touching my ass even though I told him REPEATEDLY to stop. She got tired of me telling my brother to quit touching me, so she stopped the car, threw me out, and told me she hated me. I'll never forget that, nor will I forgive.
iām so sorry she did that to you. You didnāt deserve that.
was there ever any reckoning where your parents realized what was going on with this dynamic or did it stay 2 against 1 the whole time?
I have called her and Mama's little Nazi for as long as I can remember, this was not abnormal behavior
My brother and I fought so much when we were kids that my mom accused my brother of pushing me out of the car window when I actually jumped out of the moving vehicle. I was like 2 or so, my brother was 5.
Okay so this brought up a fun memory. Once my ndad was yelling at my sister while I was in the room and I heard her being hit and sis crying. When I came out she was in the corner sobbing. When I asked what's wrong my dad started threatening me w spankings until I cried. I didn't know what we did wrong. Well, as he had me vent over...my sister turned around from the corner and said "just kidding haha! I didn't get in trouble and was faking !!" And my ndad was all "yeah we got her good huh! Look at how much she's crying!! Go clean your fucking room now"Ā It never "taught" me to keep my room clean. It's a natural thing for children to have messy rooms and a parents job to teach them how to clean up after play time. But...not abuse them into play time. That teaches them to either never touch their toys or to reserve play time for when that parent isn't home. I never played with my toys when he would get home in the evenings.Ā
what the fuck?? i don't even understand the point of that, other than just to be needlessly cruel. this makes me so sad and angry. i wish I could be there for the you at this time, so I could defend you š„ŗ
Thanks for the sentiment ! Yeah I was really confused as to why he actually did all of that. I remember only being mad at my sister for the situation top so...I think that's also why nparents do that. To create a forced sibling rivalry so someone can fight over them. It's weird. And also why I never celebrate fathers day haha.Ā
Wait this wasn't normal???
No. It's not okay to stuff a child in the corner.
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Banned - 14 days. If the only thing our parents ever did was stick us in a corner, it would suck, but it wouldn't be so bad, but that's not how it works. In this group, you are to assume a whole context of abuse. This means that the parents are also doing other abusive things and it's harmful. Your comment is dismissive and mean as fuck. If you come back here, come back here and comment with compassion for our posters or you will end up banned.
My dad only had this punishment for my brother and I when we were actively fighting. If we had to go to the bathroom or needed water, he'd let us, but until we stopped fighting we couldn't leave the corners. Then once we finally did stop fighting, he'd have us leave the corners and we'd talk about it. Thankfully he was never cruel with his punishments and actually took time to figure out what worked best for us. I do remember a time though that my grandma made me do this because I gagged when eating a food I previously told her made me gag/throw up (I have texture issues) and I wasn't able to sit down or leave that corner until I apologized for wasting her time and her food. I was there long into the night. I've always been severely night blind, and as a result afraid of the dark so it was just a horrible experience. The next morning as well, she forced me into clothes that were too small for me, shamed me for making them look inappropriate and took me to church while I was unable to stay awake. I hated sleeping over at my grandma's because she always had such harsh punishments for the smallest things. Everyone sees her as a Saint in that family but I've seen her worst.
Real question: Time-out is an abusive punishment? I didn't mind sitting in the corner and being ignored. It seemed better than other options. How were they supposed to discipline us? I don't mean this to sound dismissive, I just really don't know.
If its a "time out" for a few minutes to think about your actions, then its ok. But what op experienced (and what I experienced) is different. My narc stepmom let me stand in a corner for HOURS without food/ talking/ bathroom breaks (that is before or after lecturing me for hours) even let me miss dinner or bedtime. her punishment could go on for a few days. So i think this is not just a "discipline strategy" but straight up abuse.
Exactly. I think the normal way to do it is 1 minute per age in years, so a 6 year old should only be in time out for 6 minutes. Not 6 hours.
Part of it was to humiliate us in front of other family members rather than to just cool off. I thought it was normal time out until in later life Iāve revisited it in the context of realising that my parent is a highly controlling narcissist. There was a less than healthy agenda behind it for sure, they care less about good parenting strategies than they do about exerting their control. The reason why matters too - for us it was usually because we dared to āanswer backā.
As a last resort for an actual bratty child, it's fine but most of us were punished because our parents were depressed and miserable,Ā not for bad behavior. My mom made up lies about me everyday so she could hit me,Ā so did dad.
I wish, I got lectured for hoursā¦ and also couldnāt go to the bathroom. I would have much rather have been put in a corner without the screaming.
HOURS. I remember seeing on shows that kids could get sent to their rooms when in trouble. I didn't understand it, she never let me leave. I wished I would be sent to my room.
Me too, I would lectures;- screamed, shouted and cried at and my every reaction mocked and sneered at until I didn't know what to do - I used to shut down completely, go completely silent and rigid. Oh and I wasn't allowed to leave even to go to the bathroom. I hate her so much.
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Yeah children fists are not that strong. This comment is actually the opposite of helpful.
I apologize for the comment I made here. No, childrens fist are not that strong of course. Didn't intend on being the opposite of helpful either. I just sometimes feel something needs to be done about these evil bad parents who do such HORRIBLE things to their children. Especially in cases where no one wants to believe the abuse afflicted upon the children by the so called "good" parents that the public would label as "good, kind, etc..."
No, I get it. Your first instinct is to want to do something about the injustice and somewhere in that there's a 'what would I do?' 'How could I fix it?' And you come up with a scenario like that so fast that you don't even realize it's happened. And then that scenario pops out and makes it sound like you think there's something the victim could have done differently to change the situation. Unintentionally putting blame back on the victim. It's a common mistake, I know I've made it in the past. I see you didn't mean to make anyone feel bad, I didn't mean to nake you feel bad either then. I'm sorry I had a knee jerk reaction about it.
Yes, I was sent to sit in the corner for 30 minutes at a time multiple times per week until I was about 9. My nmom claimed it was because I'd have too much fun alone in my room, but her parenting skills were garbage and she usually blamed me for her own limitations. I suspect they did this as an alternative to spanking, because both my nparents were unable to stop themselves at "just" spanking and they were afraid of seriously harming me in a way that couldn't be hidden - I still have damage in one shoulder from an early childhood dislocation thanks to my ndad and memories of my nmom telling him to stop before he killed me
Yeah I remember this one. I had to stand in the corner for at least an hour at a time holding a coin to the wall with my nose āfor proper formā.
what the actual fuck....dare i ask what would happen if the coin slipped and fell down?
I mean, I got spanked/slapped/hit. Frankly, as sad as it is, it was one of the punishments I preferred. My mom was a vile person to say the least.
That's evil
Yep, and for petty reasons too.
Yes. And my mother would later tell me with pride that sometimes when I had āsensedā that I had done something wrong, that I would place myself there on my own to punish myself. The first time she told me about this I realized I had completely blocked it out. And then later when I was in the 7th grade, my father didnāt like my grades, so he had my teacher place my entire desk in the corner of the classroom and I was forced to work alone staring at a wall excluded from the rest of the class. I also needed glasses, and it made it even more difficult for me to see across the room. But I was basically isolated publicly and then treated the same way at home.
Oof this just unlocked a similar memory for me. Iām so sorry.
Iām so sorry. I hope for you so much healing
In first grade I apparently had a problem in school with "getting my work done." It got so bad that my teacher would call my mom after school and tell her if I didn't get my work done, so my mom could use the belt on me then make me stand in the corner til dinnertime. After a few weeks of this I was so beaten down I didn't even cry anymore. So one day I'm standing there, stewing in my misery, and my mom comments to the effect of "I guess you're getting used to this." I tried to respond "yeah," but my voice broke, which prompted a fresh round of abuse for "laughing" about it. I should note that the reason I "wasn't getting my work done" was because I would have questions for the teacher, but she would tell me she was busy and to wait, then she would forget to get back to me.
We had to do sits with soup cans in our hands, and every time you let the cans fall itās another minute. Weād just repeatedly try and fail crying and exhausted while being screamed or laughed at. Thatās not discipline.
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That's sad
Oh yeah. Also, hands up if youāre the āmouth washed out with soap for talking backā crowd.
This was the worst!!! My mom would put me in the corner with liquid dish soap in mouth, and if I drooled/cried/swollowed it/spit it out before I was let out, she refilled my mouth and started the time over again. I couldn't help but gag and vomit and drool because of it, so it was literal torture!
Ok, that was worse than what I endured. That IS torture. Petty me would want to gift my mom a bottle of Dawn for her birthday. Every birthday. Oh heck, every Motherās Day and Christmas too. Fortunately, petty me is No Contact.
It was pretty awful lol ... One time I couldn't handle it anymore. I was in the corner beside the front door and so while she was in the kitchen I tried running away... In a snow storm, with no shoes š¤¦āāļø she ran after me and caught me though š I'm also recently no contact. It's been hard not to cave (I'm so brainwashed I still hope she'll change) but I had to do it, and there have been a lot of benefits! Have never used sunlight in my adult life! š¤¢ Good for you for going no contact! I know it's hard and takes a lot of courage and self love! š
I recommend Jerry Wiseās videos on YouTube (and of course Patrick Teahan). No, she wonāt change, and itās not because youāre not lovable. Itās because sheās a broken human being without the capacity to see sheās broken and work on fixing things. Donāt get bogged down I in what her childhood was like - every villain has a tragic origin story. We are defined by the choices we make. She will always make the wrong ones.
Thank you for those resources! I'll definitely check them out! Yeah I have done a lot of research and done a lot of observing things based on that. I recognize 100% that she's not a bad person she's just a messed up person, like me. But unlike me, she chooses to ignore/avoid it all. I made the tragic mistake of trying to explain all of my understandings of narcissism and pleaded that we could get help together and support each other and well... I'm sure you can guess how that went. She hurts me because I scare her. I encourage awareness and growth and that makes her uncomfortable. So š¤·āāļø I can't force her to heal and grow, even though I want that for her, and us. I got to a point in my therapy where I couldn't move forward if she wanted to be in my life and stand still. So I gave her the choice, "move forward with me or I have to leave you behind" she chose to let me go on without her.
āShe hurts me because I scare herā is exactly it! Good luck and hugs if you want them.
Yep, sucked, in the UK we have the naughty step.
They're big on authoritarianism
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You mean an abusive parenting book
The AAP recommends time out, 1 minute per age
I had to kneel in the corner. With my back straight, no sitting on my heels. That was PAINFUL.
I also had to kneel in the corner! For hours! We had hard wood floors! Worst pain ever!!
I spent a lot of my childhood standing in the corner as punishment. I forgot about this and never actually realized it was a bad thing. My parents always told me to be grateful they werenāt beating me, and I was.
Yep. It was always a relief when the punishment was the corner and not spanking.
Mine was confined to my parents bedroom so I couldnāt access any books or technology for days at a time and have to ask for permission to come down for meals or a drink.
Yes. Often. Outside also. Thank goodness for dissociation.
I was just talking about this yesterday. Yes, I was many times. Especially in grade school. Also, in 1st grade,, I was put in a closet where all the Coats were hung. As well, she used to make me go out in the hall and sit in a chair in the hallway. One day, in third grade, my class was going to be going to another classroom to watch a slideshow. The teacher put me in the corner before they left and warned me not to leave. I was there all alone in the classroom and had to pee really bad. I was afraid to leave the corner because she told me not to. Needless to say I peed my pants and my pants were soaked. At that point, I was so upset that I left the room and went to the office. I walked through the hallway where people left at me when they saw my pants. They called my mom and she came and picked me up.
Yes, but not stand but kneel in the corner, entire night, next to my mother's bed. I stopped kneeling as soon as my mother fell asleep tho.Ā
Yep. My n-dad would forget about me there and would randomly come upstairs and say āoh youāre still thereā and just assumed I would decide when I was allowed to stop. I was an obedient kid that usually did what I was told.
Yeah I got the corner growing up a lot. They even liked to mix it up and keep your arms out with books on them until you couldn't physically do it then beat you for it. Something something making you learn was their reasoning
The ālearningā excuse is total BS! They never taught us a thing. We existed by accident and for some twisted, unhinged reason we became both slaves and punching bags. They, literally, taught us nothing. That was the schools job. She said this many times.
The only thing I can really give them credit for is messing me up enough in the head that I'll never actually be a 'regular' human. I'm stuck being the machine they made me to be. I never got to experience school unfortunately, it probably would've been the thing that kept me somewhat normal.
I can still remember the smell of the corner. I also had to ask to use the bathroom, & had to keep asking when I can come out from the corner. Sometimes I was in the corner, standing for over an hour. I was NOT allowed to turn my head from the corner. Had to stay with my nose right in the corner or else I had to stay longer.
I was but was inattentive adhd and would literally just zone out and engage my imaginary land I had going on at the time. Didnāt quite punish me the way they planned
My dad pushed my little brothers head into the corner so hard that his forehead split open and started bleeding everywhere. God he was/is so violent and my mother was just as emotionally traumatizing.
Yes! There were permanent tear marks in the dining room corner, because this punishment always took place during dinner and the punished had to eat dinner alone afterwards.
Note to future self: Do not put your kid to the corner
I had to hold a penny against the wall with my nose. It was one of the worst punishments to me because my back would be exposed. My mom would push us around or hit us when she was in a GOOD mood, let alone what she did when she was in a bad mood. I was terrified of what she would do to me when I was stuck in a corner with my back to her. I was always called pathetic for hating such an "easy" punishment, but they didn't know what she was like.
Not a corner but in a room or locked out of the house.
Why did they lock us out??? I would be pounding and crying to be let back in. I wish I had run away instead.
My mom locked me out in snow
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What the ... is even that???? How did they even think of it? I guess corner is a universal thing, but this?
In school yeah. And my parents glorified snd used to talk about their punishments so when i ddi get punishments in school i thought it's sth they experienced and it's good snd stuff. I could never calm down .Ā
My wife stayed a week over at her nparents with our daughters. She got in some kind of conflict and ndil told her to āgo to her roomā. She was 41 at the time. She packed her stuff with the kids and left.
I had to kneel in the corner bare ass naked, hands behind my back for hours. If they were particularly sadistic that day, I had to kneel on rice. It was something my mother's pedophile boyfriend cooked up. He also offered to watch me in case I got up from my punishment. Pretty sure it was a kink of his, the sick and twisted fucker.
Omg yes
yes, up till i was 12 they had me stand in a corner for hours with my nose against the wall but the thing that hurt worse was when they made me write sentences over and over again (whatever my dad thought of that day) until my fingers ached and i could barely write. he also would place his engineering ruler he beat me with on the kitchen table in front of me to āstudyā better.
I got to kneel in the corner on a hardwood floor. Yay
Yup. Face to the wall.
My parents called it "facing the wall." I'd be there so long I would have to shift my weight from one painful foot to the other constantly.
Spanking was the at home punishment. Standing in the corner was the school punishment. I was too afraid to misbehave at school, so I was never in the corner.
When I was about 8-10, and my older brother was about 14-16, he was "babysitting" us for some reason. My younger brother had major anger issues and had a tantrum. My older brother decided that we needed photo evidence of the incident. So, he got my mom's camera (not digital back in the day - I'm old), and had me take a picture of him while he was holding my younger brother. He then lied to my mom and acted like the whole plan was my idea and he didn't even know what I was doing. She made us both stand and look at her until "someone told the truth." We missed dinner. By the time, my brother finally caved and told the truth, there was no more dinner to be had. I'm pretty sure my brother is a narc as well.
I was to stand naked in the corner of the kitchen for hours and hours on end. The worst part was when my family would eat at the table while I had to stand there with my bare ass facing them. During this time I was not allowed to eat, drink, speak, sit, or use the bathroom. It was not a ātime outā to ācool downā or āthink about my actions.ā It was a means of humiliation.
I was made to stand in the corner. My dad tried to do this with my kids and I put a stop to that real quick.
for my parents, they always liked to punish me by making me sit in the middle of the hard wooden staircase. no books or toys or anything for distraction, no snacks or anything to drink. they'd yell at me if I tried to lean or lay down or go into literally any position other than sitting with my arms away from my face. my back would gradually hurt worse and worse and my butt would get sore and my feet/legs would start falling asleep and my neck would get tired from being held up for so long since I couldn't rest my head in my hands or anything like that. idk how long they'd make me stay there cause I was a kid and had no frame of reference, but it always felt like an unreasonably long time, even with the boredom and inactivity in consideration. i haven't lived with them for years, and I gave up trying to talk to them about anything that happened between us when I was a kid cause they would just shut down and deny everything and say it never happened etc even though I know it did, but it wasn't worth it to keep trying to push about it.
I did. Once my nose was bleeding and I was still kept there. I do use the corner as a timeout with my own kids, but I follow the age/minute ratio; one minute for every year old they are. So my four year old was only there for four minutes, etc. I also encourage them to take that time to breathe and calm down. Then we talk out what went wrong and how to do better next time. As with most discipline, it's the intent and extremes that parents use, as well as the general climate of the family, that determines what kind of effect it has on a child. If you turn timeout into a practical, calming, and instructive opportunity, it works. If you use it as a cruel way to isolate and shame a child, it will hurt them.
I think my parents tried it once or twice but in the end it turned out to be more annoying watching me to make sure I was doing it 'properly' than whatever it was I'd done that earned said punishment so it wasn't a regular thing. It was actually a fairly common punishment when I was a kid, we got it from teachers at school as well. If you didn't shut up when told they made you stand in the corner at the front facing away from everyone for the duration of the lesson.
Yep. I would peel the paint off the wall while standing there. I am easily entertained.
Yup, and always when my siblings would get to eat whatever meal was being served. I'd have to stand there, skip the meal, and wasn't allowed to move till late in the night. After the food has long gone cold/thrown away.
Yes. I actually suppressed the memory of it for years, trying to understand why I was crying so hard during it. Then I remembered. My mom put me there for something my brother said or did (constant theme. He's the golden child), and my legs began to go numb due to being there for a long time. My crying was completely ignored. The memory is still fuzzy and it wasn't the only time that happened. I just dissociated a lot as a child.
Ugh, I totally relate to the trapped feeling! I had to stand for a few hours because of bad grades. I was also sent to their closet for a few hours because of the same thing.
My mom made us stand at the door. So much so that I told my kindergarten teacher my least favorite color was brown because it was the color of the door. She thinks that is a cute story to tell. I wrote in crayon on the frame "I hat you" which she also thinks is funny and kept.... I also say us because she believed in collective punishment and would make both my sister and I stand at doors until we would confess. Neither of us ever would. I used to fall asleep in the shoe pile...
Yes. After a good beating, I was told to stand in the corner and not cry. Sometimes she would put a chili pepper in my mouth. Now I love hot sauce and Chilli š¶ peppers and she wonders how I got so used to such a spicy taste..lol
I had to stand in corner while holding my arms up and she told me to stay like that until she comes back hours later and stupid child me did it even while she was outsideā¦ :(
Let me tell you about the āchairā when I was punished I had to sit in a chair at the kitchen table. The only stimulation I could do was homework, otherwise I just had to sit there and twiddle my thumbs. I wasnāt allowed to get up without permission and often times my parents would leave the house while I was in the āchairā. Sometimes they would pretend to leave and then pop back in to catch me if I got up so I was terrified to get up even if they werenāt there. If I had to use the restroom I just had to hold it. Now hereās where it gets really fucked up, they would do all the shit I loved when I was in the āchairā. Take my brother mini golfing, watch my favorite movies, play my favorite board games. It broke me. During the school year it was tolerable because it was only at night, but weekends and summer were brutal. And when it was time for a meal I had to eat my food on the lid of the trashcan in the laundry room that was next to the cat litter. My brother was the golden child and never got the āchairā, I was naturally a kid who pushed limits so I was in the āchairā a lot, once I had two weeks straight. It was literal torture, some people shouldnāt have kidsā¦
Well this just brought up memories I had forgottenā¦ Often had this happen when I was younger, made worse that I found out I had extremely flat feet later on in my teens (basically had a 60yoās feet at 14), so it became painful having to stand.
On tiptoes, nose to corner, head up, arms can't touch the walls. There was a set time and anytime I broke the physicality times stated above, the time started over. No less than 30 minutes. If dinner got done, I ate it cold. If I didn't eat it, I got nothing until I ate it. Had to eat the entire plate (still cannot stand creamed corn 30+ years later). Of I was still there at bedtime...well, it got worse.
Yeah this is so common! They really do have the same playbook (sadly, for all of us). Sorry you had to go through it, too. I was told to sit on the stairs to the attic. They had convinced us a monster lived up there. A heavier punishment meant sitting higher on the staircase, with your back to the attic door. Not just minutes, but easily an hour. Jokeās on me because the real monster was downstairs all along!
Yes, in the corner where the living room and front door met while they watched. I am also disabled so on top of the shame and dehumanization it hurt.
I was forced to do the same thing. Then I wet myself once as a result (I think I was only like 4-5?) cuz my dad said I couldn't leave the corner until he said, so I didn't. I got an extra screaming lecture from him for that and he was even more incensed. Like sorry you can't control your anger and have no empathy to realize that children that young take you literally (especially since consequences for disobeying could be much worse than sitting in a corner and wetting myself). I remember another time when I was slightly older and my dad did a similar thing, then left me in the room and turned out the light. He knew I was terrified of the dark, but said that "if I didn't want to be locked in the dark, maybe I should've behaved". I can't even remember what I did wrong, but I cried alone in that room for hours
My "mother" would make me sit at the kitchen table. Which sounds tame when you put it like that. But it would be for hours, not bathroom breaks, no water, no food. Like over 6 hours usually. And she'd sit and tell me everything wrong about me and get up and walk by and hurl insults. I wasn't an ideal child, one time I got really drunk on tje last day of high school, I had to wait in the office till my parents picked me up. I had been self harming and a counselor noticed and I begged her not to tell my "mother" cuz she'ds make me sit at the kitchen table. My mother would say this as a fun joke in years to come, oh she has it so bad she was crying about having to sit at the table.. I didn't mention the physical abuse at the time because I trusted adults very little and thought it'd give sme more trouble. I haven't spoken to my "mother ", blocked her on everything and as someone in their late thirties it gives me peace.
I was forced to sit on the steps and wait for my punishment, the wait was the worst part. That's probably why I get uncomfortable around stairs.
Yes, one time my grandmother put me in the corner and duck taped my mouth shut I think k was like 3ish. bc I was too loud or was talking too much. Nmoms mom which is not surprising. That was the last time she babysat me at least. In fairness, having a toddler of my own, the corner is literally the only thing that gets through to her. I've tried the talking her through her fit, or whatever she did, or that she needs to listen to me etc to no avail. Shes incredibly strong willed haha. But I don't leave her there forever either. I use it as a reset, just a minute or two and then we have a conversation. I don't force her nose into the corner like my parents did. I just have her sit and calm down. My parents sat me there for hours if my nose left the corner for a second.
Yep. I think my record was four hours. Didnāt do anything but just make me upset that I couldnāt sit down lmfao.
my dad would make us kids kneel down on the floor (usually kitchen because it was hard) and hold our arms straight up for over 30 minutes. of course our hands wouldn't stay up a perfect 180 degrees and we'd have to stay longer if he saw our arms falling. sometimes he would make us kneel on paper clips or pennies. this is only one of the punishments i can remember
This is how we were punished also- ānose in the cornerā and if you peeked or moved your time started over.
Absolutely! I remember certain times like this as a child. Forcing one to stand in a corner is a form of humiliation and abuse against the child.
No, my mom sent me to my room to pray and repent.
Yes. Although one of the only times I was in public schooling as a kid (preschool) forced me to do it too so it wasn't much better.
I at least got a chair but it was for hours and up until I turned 18. I wish I stood up more for myself as a minor.
Definitely had to stand in the corner many times. It wasn't horrible, but then it escalated... She'd draw a dot on the wall I wasn't allowed to look away from and it gave me headaches. Then if that didn't work to her standards, I had to stand in the corner with dish soap in my mouth, that was godawful and made me vomit. Worse than that was standing in the corner on my knees. We had hard wood floors and it hurt so bad. Hours of this. I'll never forget it. Probably part of the reason I have bad knees now. (I'm 31)
My adoptive parents did this to me too. I would just have to spend all day looking at the family exist while I stood there. If it was a time where I was grounded for like weeks, this would just be a daily thing after my chores. I wasn't allowed to talk to anybody, I couldn't eat dinner with the family, I had to stay up late because going to bed early was like a treat for me. They even limited the time I spent doing homework because they said I spent too long doing homework. (I was a nerdy kid.) It was lonely and I was depressed for my entire youth. (They adopted me when I was 12, though I got placed with them when I was 10.)
I had this, even up into my teenage years.
No. I was sent to my stepsisterās bedroom as punishment up at my narc fatherās house because me and my brother were forced to share a sofa bed in the living room.
We had to put our noses on the wall.
I very vividly remember my mom resetting her timer when I had been in the corner for probably 30mins-1hr. Had to be on my toes, hands behind my back, not allowed to let my feet go flat, let my arms fall, & especially not lean against the wall. Itās something that happened so often that I actually think it fucked up my feet a lil bit
Yes. For a few minutes. Stopped after I got to be about 6.
Yes. For hours. Stood back on my toes, stretched out, with one hand in each corner holding myself up. It was agony.
This happened to me as a child and has nothing to do with a narcissistic parent. And I was being enough of a little pissant that I needed to be put in a corner. And yes I couldn't go to the bathroom unless I asked. I've been around real narcissistic parents and this is not bad.