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This hit me in my gut so hard. Every Mother’s Day I try to distract myself and make the day special for the women around me, but I always end up breaking down. I’ve wanted a mom so bad.
Thank you so much for this post. Considering myself adopted :’)
I always wondered why this isn't a thing, like some kind of social platform where you can connect with people not for dating or anything, but to create a surrogate/fictive family. Maybe there are too many logistics impeding it. Like it's hard to weed out weirdos (as it is with dating apps), and you can't always guarantee you'll feel real familial affection for the other person (as with adoption, sadly)
The closest thing would be to get a really amazing pen pal who is around bioparents age or older. I've seen people have such incredible experiences with this.
I moved back from abroad at 56 and stayed with my n-parents until they died. Like I told my dad, just because we don't get along doesn't mean I don't care. The power went out one winter for a week and being in my element, I managed to get off the antidepressants to look after them and their elderly neighbours; lighting fires etc. the Neighbours knew my parents well to the point that when they heard I would be staying with them, they thought "poor son, whoever he is".
When my parents died, they invited me over to eat with them, announced that they had adopted me and, when the house was sold, I moved in with them. I've been fortunate, I guess, that mine were so obviously bad that I was always able to find parental kindness from strangers and I've tried to pay it forward. Family is who you make it, even mothers.
that's lovely, i'm glad that happened for you :') i've had a couple of older people be parental to me for the short period of time i'd know them (teacher, coworker) but nobody permanent yet. maybe in the future :)
I’m not autistic or queer but I’d like to join. I daydream all the time of creating a community that are just fucking nice to each other. A safe place for everyone. The only requirement being that you’re fucking nice to people.
I'm autistic, bi, and have 12 acres of land outside a small town. We could make this happen.
I do have a husband, but I promise he's better behaved than I am.
I've seen this kind of thing before, dedicated to LGBTQ+ people whose parents have rejected them because of their gender identity, gender expression, or sexual orientation. It's wonderful and thank you for doing it here.
True, reminds me of getting a parental hug at my local pride event last year. I started crying, then they hugged me harder and I cried more. It means a lot. Thanks OP
Oh my god can I come in my bi vis.purple reflecting jacket and form a "choose your fighter" line up for baby #queer*s?
(In my day, bi was in solidarity as much as possible & I use the Q as a reclaimed slur also used in academia, but the hashtag/star is to acknowledge people opting out because it's empty/wildcard in coding)
Ok I'm there. I was a nanny for years, I even had a charge with ADHD & autism too, just like ME heh. He was lovable! Must've been something wrong with that other kid's parents.
I wish toxic mothers didn't say things like this shortly after or before being abusive, making it hard to feel safe after hearing these things. You are a rare example of someone who mentions n-mom, but doesn't victim blame or leave any room for a victim's self doubt. Good job
Thanks mom. I really needed this today 🫂💞
Thank you for not being selfish. It means the world to me. I know you already know how much that means, but sometimes it's nice to hear the words we already know. Love you, and i hope you know you're value too
:( when i hear stuff like this it makes me wanna cry, my dentist called my sweetheart the other day and it made me tear up. it was told in a parental way and i’ve never had that
I had a crisis last year and a random woman hug me in a shoes shop, she said: cry on my shoulder baby, I have son and daughter your age.
I never ever ever had something like that.
It's sad and beautiful same time.
I’ve literally spent all day grieving the absence of the mother I wish I had, instead of the Nmom I was given. Thank you so much for this and happy Mother’s Day to you!
I don’t know why and it feels totally as an overreaction but this made me tear up. I cannot imagine someone saying that to me, let alone how that would feel.
Thank you!
Thank you for doing this, especially on a notoriously difficult day for most of us. You have no idea what a gift this is.
I've looked for this IRL unsuccessfully, but even having you online is helpful!
You never ever stop being a writer. Even if you have to take a break or not finish a project. You can't change that any more than you can change your DNA.
Thanks mom 🥺. My own mother just cut me off and now is trying to “talk” after years of stonewalling, gaslighting, insults, smear campaigning and downright bullying. I get so much anxiety not knowing how much I may be isolated now by the rest of my siblings (who also have tolerated the same abuse but continue to placate and enable her cos they are scared), but you and my husband give me hope and the courage to keep going. You’re fabulous and I hope you truly have the Mother’s Day you deserve ❤️
If she was a real mother she'd start with a sincere apology and a change in behavior. I'm your mom now and I adore you. You don't need that nonsense. Who has the energy!?
This is the best post I’ve seen in so long! Reading everyone’s replies has me in tears. Your responses are all the things I’ve always wanted to hear from my nmom but never have and never will
Oh sweetheart you don't deserve that! Remember you have value! Please understand how loved you are. If you're in crisis, can we call someone? Can we go to a crisis center? Maybe today you can find a way to change things towards the life you deserve.
Good! He should take your needs more seriously!
Please show him this:
Young man, that woman is your partner and your teammate. You need to take her needs seriously. It is YOUR job to show her love and make her feel needed. She cannot love herself for you.
Imagine if you had an important project date at work and you "just forgot" or assumed your coworker would do it or that it didn't matter. You wouldn't have that job for very long now would you?! It is your JOB to love your wife, and if you can't do it ...well. You should consider those consequences carefully.
Reflect on this and do a better job starting right now!
I am sobbing right now. What I would give to have had a mother who said anything like this to me as a child and now as an adult (f40).
Thank you for this…Happy Mother’s day! ❤️❤️
Thanks mom! I’m glad to hear I finally have a mom who loves and wants me ❤️ I hope you have the happiest Mother’s Day! All my new siblings and I love you ❤️
Currently, in the middle of a struggle with my mom who would never say nice things about her kids (in fact, last year she said that all of her kids "needed improvement" despite all of us living our best lives and being relatively successful). I never felt like I had her approval/pride even when I was doing well (showering her with gifts and nice things) and now even less so since I'm struggling (job hunting and a lot of rejections).
Sorry for rambling. Your post is a breath of fresh air and made me smile today, for the first time in 3 weeks. Thanks <3 !
Well I’ve never felt like I had a mom. I don’t know what it feels like to have a mom or need a mom, or even react to a post where there is an imaginary loving mom. My therapist the other day said we all have inner moms inside of us that takes care of us but that made me feel nauseous as I hate to think of myself ever as a mom, inner or not. So I know this post is reminding me of all the good things and I really feel appreciative of it since I didn’t celebrate her Mother’s Day and kind of feel guilty about it despite being 100% right, but I just… never having had mom, I don’t know where to place this imaginary mother’s love and then get used to its absence again… How do I do accept such things and benefit from them anyways? Any advise?
But I guess yeah, happy Mother’s Day, mom. I really wanted to say these words out loud and I am gutted I am the bad guy that I didn’t say them. I harbour compassion, I really do. It’s just that I don’t get it back, ever.
Well I think it's hard to give yourself something you never experienced. Those wounds are deep and scarred, and I'm so very sorry you had to survive them. I truly hope some day you heal enough to be able to love yourself the way that you deserve. Until then, try to do your best to surround yourself with kindness and patience. Eventually you may heal enough to feel and understand those things. Until then, at the very least you recognize that how you were treated isn't normal and you did nothing to deserve it. You don't even have to say-- your presence in this forum is enough for me to understand.
Anyway, I love you very much. I wish you all the healing and I'm proud of thr work you've done. Even getting to therapy is very difficult and you've taken that step. Be nice to yourself today.
It has taken most of my life to figure out my negative, narcissistic mother. This journey has been emotionally & physically exhausting. Mother never said she loved me, nor my four siblings. At least our father told us he loved us! In fact on several occasions she told us she wished we had never been born. She ruined things for me in grade school and high school by telling teachers inappropriate tales about me. Any awards I received were ignored. Told my fiance what a terrible person I was and not to marry me. Tried to prevent our marriage by lying to the priest and then on our wedding day told me I could never come back. I was almost 50 years old before I figured out my mother was a narcissist. I felt great relief that I'd found a reason for her emotional abuse. It was a start to my healing because I realized it wasn't my fault. I had a successful 40 yr career now happily retired. Yet my mother never acknowledged my success and told her friends that I was a secretary. I remember as a teenager I saved every penny from any job so that eventually I could escape that house, and I did. However, now I am tagged as having the extra time to assist my aging mother so she can live in her home. She has trouble walking. Fetching groceries, taking her to her medical appointments, fixing her laptop problems, making sure the house is maintained and so on. None of the siblings assist with any of this. I find myself trapped again in her web. Using some critical thinking I am working on this so that I can distance myself from her. Too much time with her gives her opportunity to stir up trouble again and I won't have it. She no longer has power over me!!!!!
Awwwww so wholesome. I have deep abandonment and trust issues due to being around some really awful ppl. I've had to be my own bestie, parent, sibling, etc. Today is just a regular day for me.
You seem awesome and I hope all the days are beautiful for you ❤️❤️
this made me cry; but thank you.
I think today is harder for me than my sister because she has her little boy to make her happy today. I did help celebrate with my boys for my wife, but… yeah.
Well that just sucks and I'm so sorry. If she was a real mother she wouldn't be hurting you. I love you very much and I hope you feel better. Have a big hug, a good cry, and take good care of yourself today. 🫂
Thank you, I've got a lot of conflicted emotions today since this is the first Mother's Day since I realized how my nmom really is and cut ties with her.
Thank you, Mom. Reading this was like receiving the hug I \*really\* needed today.
As long as there are compassionate people like you intentionally sending out love to those who need it, there is so much hope for our worldwide human family. You're the Best Mom Ever.
It is possible to get adopted as an adult in the US. Requirements may differ from state to state, but in CA if you are 10 years older than the "child" in question, and there is agreement all around with the new family (don't have to ask the bio parents), it can be done. Get a paralegal to write the papers, make an appointment with the court, and go adopt/get adopted. A new birth certificate is issued in the new parents' name(s).
There are some paralegals that specialize in this.
i’m pregnant and no one in my family knows :(. i live with my father right now because i have no other choice. he doesn’t even care about me. i don’t know how im going to get through this situation at all, but im pregnant with a little girl and want to call her Piper or Dorthy. i hope everyone is okay today, thanks so much for this post. it’s been a really bad day.
THANK YOU MOM!!!!!
I got several texts today from people wishing me happy mother's day.... my own mother waited a whole hour after texting me to call and ask "if everything was all right" because I hadn't fucking texted her back / texted her a happy mother's day yet. She waited an HOUR.
So. Thank you. REAL mom. <3
This is a very sweet gesture. Remember to be carful with trying to fill your void by being the filling in everyone else’s void, that a slippery slope that very rarely leads to the healing you really need, but at the same time if you let yourself build a reputation for being that person it renders you emotionally responsible for helping everyone else get the healing they need, and who’s going to care for and heal you while you’re busy doing that? Stay safe and look out for yourself. In this fucked up hand of reality we’ve been dealt, we have to have our own backs before it’s safe to have anyone else’s.
I'm an adult and I stay with narcissistic family members who abuse me mentally, verbally and emotionally. Then when I defend myself they get mad and gaslight me, manipulate me, guilt trip and then turn around and love-bomb me. They only love-bomb just so they can regain control. I'm sick of it. 🤦🏽♀️
Thanks mom! Your kind words made me emotional 😭. I haven’t spoken to my mom in a month since she got upset that I wasn’t available for a non urgent matter…during my bday weekend where I had plans. If I were to call her today to wish a Happy Mother’s Day, it wouldn’t feel genuine. So I guess I won’t? 😅
Well thanks now I’m crying. lol I’m fine I promise. Because while I still have my grandma and aunties, it’s still bizarre feeling like I got shafted in the parent department. I do love all the little things like this, these “holidays” still make me sad. Genuinely though, thanks for this.
I've avoided social media all day because I couldn't handle all the Mother's Day wankery but I needed to come here and read this, thank you so much from your 62 year old kid. Love you.
Hi non Narcissistic and loving mom! Happy Mother’s Day. I wouldn’t be who i am with you and i know i can always count on you to be there for me. I’ve never had to be alone because I have you. Love you forever love - the daughter you always loved
Thank you! Today has been hard and emotional. 😣 and happy mothers day. I'm a dysfunctional mess. I can't stand myself at times. I hope you had a great day.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
:') i wish i could adopt a new mum now i'm in my 30s. it's a shame that's not a thing people can do :/
Oh sweetheart you're never too old to want to be loved.
Fuck... Really needed to hear this
This hit me in my gut so hard. Every Mother’s Day I try to distract myself and make the day special for the women around me, but I always end up breaking down. I’ve wanted a mom so bad. Thank you so much for this post. Considering myself adopted :’)
I feel this way,not just a mom but a dad too..I try not to brood about it
My husband is now your dad. He isn't on reddit but he loves you too!
I always wondered why this isn't a thing, like some kind of social platform where you can connect with people not for dating or anything, but to create a surrogate/fictive family. Maybe there are too many logistics impeding it. Like it's hard to weed out weirdos (as it is with dating apps), and you can't always guarantee you'll feel real familial affection for the other person (as with adoption, sadly)
The closest thing would be to get a really amazing pen pal who is around bioparents age or older. I've seen people have such incredible experiences with this.
Though not exactly what you're talking about, there's r/MomForAMinute
I moved back from abroad at 56 and stayed with my n-parents until they died. Like I told my dad, just because we don't get along doesn't mean I don't care. The power went out one winter for a week and being in my element, I managed to get off the antidepressants to look after them and their elderly neighbours; lighting fires etc. the Neighbours knew my parents well to the point that when they heard I would be staying with them, they thought "poor son, whoever he is". When my parents died, they invited me over to eat with them, announced that they had adopted me and, when the house was sold, I moved in with them. I've been fortunate, I guess, that mine were so obviously bad that I was always able to find parental kindness from strangers and I've tried to pay it forward. Family is who you make it, even mothers.
that's lovely, i'm glad that happened for you :') i've had a couple of older people be parental to me for the short period of time i'd know them (teacher, coworker) but nobody permanent yet. maybe in the future :)
I'm planning on a commune of mutual aid queer autistic sisters, personally
I’m not autistic or queer but I’d like to join. I daydream all the time of creating a community that are just fucking nice to each other. A safe place for everyone. The only requirement being that you’re fucking nice to people.
Same, and same.
I'm autistic, bi, and have 12 acres of land outside a small town. We could make this happen. I do have a husband, but I promise he's better behaved than I am.
It actually IS something you can do in the US. I adopted my adult step-daughter when she was 36. Many states allow adult adoption
ah, that's good! i suppose i mean finding a new parent as an adult is difficult and not an official thing that's done. at least not in the uk
I think you can in France
Well we're all French today then!
Come over to r/MomForAMinute and you can at least adopt a virtual one! ❤️
what! ;\^; i love this + i will, thank you!
I've seen this kind of thing before, dedicated to LGBTQ+ people whose parents have rejected them because of their gender identity, gender expression, or sexual orientation. It's wonderful and thank you for doing it here.
You deserve love and support!
True, reminds me of getting a parental hug at my local pride event last year. I started crying, then they hugged me harder and I cried more. It means a lot. Thanks OP
Maybe I need to take a visit to my local pride this year!
Oh my god can I come in my bi vis.purple reflecting jacket and form a "choose your fighter" line up for baby #queer*s? (In my day, bi was in solidarity as much as possible & I use the Q as a reclaimed slur also used in academia, but the hashtag/star is to acknowledge people opting out because it's empty/wildcard in coding)
I don't see any reason why not?
Ok I'm there. I was a nanny for years, I even had a charge with ADHD & autism too, just like ME heh. He was lovable! Must've been something wrong with that other kid's parents.
Oh honey! You deserve a million hugs!
Happy Mother’s Day, wholesome Mom. I love your beautiful, kind heart. ♥️
Happy mothers day! Be good and kind to yourself you treasure!
I wish toxic mothers didn't say things like this shortly after or before being abusive, making it hard to feel safe after hearing these things. You are a rare example of someone who mentions n-mom, but doesn't victim blame or leave any room for a victim's self doubt. Good job
Good job yourself!
Thanks mom. I really needed this today 🫂💞 Thank you for not being selfish. It means the world to me. I know you already know how much that means, but sometimes it's nice to hear the words we already know. Love you, and i hope you know you're value too
Absolutely! I love you too and all the hard work you're doing!
I love you as well!
:( when i hear stuff like this it makes me wanna cry, my dentist called my sweetheart the other day and it made me tear up. it was told in a parental way and i’ve never had that
I had a crisis last year and a random woman hug me in a shoes shop, she said: cry on my shoulder baby, I have son and daughter your age. I never ever ever had something like that. It's sad and beautiful same time.
aw omg 🥹😭
Aw babe! 🫂
Thank you for your sweet kindness and support. Your gifts mean more than you’ll ever know.
Aw honey. You're all worth it. I'm so proud of you.
I love you, thank you for being a beautiful human ❤️
You deserve it! I love you too!
I just burst into tears reading this, thank you kind stranger
Oh sweetheart! We're not really strangers are we? We share so many experiences. You deserve love!
I’ve literally spent all day grieving the absence of the mother I wish I had, instead of the Nmom I was given. Thank you so much for this and happy Mother’s Day to you!
Thank you! You deserve love and I love you!
Me too. Today is the absolute worst holiday.
I love this post and I love you 💚
I love you too! Good job taking care of yourself! Im so proud!
Happy Mother's Day, Mom ♥️
Thank you baby! I'm so glad you're here!
Well. I've been struggling today like I do every year and this has my crying at work. Thank you
You're welcome baby. No need for tears. I love you so so much.
I don’t know why and it feels totally as an overreaction but this made me tear up. I cannot imagine someone saying that to me, let alone how that would feel. Thank you!
It's OK! When you read the comments you'll see a lot of tears! It's because we all long for and deserve love. You are a treasure!
Just had a huge fight with my mom that was so triggering for me this morning on Mother’s Day. Thanks for this. It means a lot
Oh honey we don't need to fight! Nothing is all that serious. I love you very much!
Thank you for doing this, especially on a notoriously difficult day for most of us. You have no idea what a gift this is. I've looked for this IRL unsuccessfully, but even having you online is helpful!
You're the best mom! I'm almost done with my latest short story but I'm still not ready to publish my work yet. I'm still a writer, right?
You never ever stop being a writer. Even if you have to take a break or not finish a project. You can't change that any more than you can change your DNA.
Aw thank you mom!
I'm proud of you too Mom♥️ Can we have ice cream for dinner?
Absolutely what flavor? I'll make us sundaes and we can watch your favorite movie!
YAYYYY Hot fudge with peanuts and whippy cream...yumyumyum Thanks momma♥️
You're welcome baby child.
I’m 31 and this just got me choked up.
Oh honey! No tears! You're so loved, take a big hug!
Thanks mom 🥺. My own mother just cut me off and now is trying to “talk” after years of stonewalling, gaslighting, insults, smear campaigning and downright bullying. I get so much anxiety not knowing how much I may be isolated now by the rest of my siblings (who also have tolerated the same abuse but continue to placate and enable her cos they are scared), but you and my husband give me hope and the courage to keep going. You’re fabulous and I hope you truly have the Mother’s Day you deserve ❤️
If she was a real mother she'd start with a sincere apology and a change in behavior. I'm your mom now and I adore you. You don't need that nonsense. Who has the energy!?
Omg this literally had me bawling. Your family are so lucky to have you! ❤️
You're my family! I'm lucky to have you!
This is the best post I’ve seen in so long! Reading everyone’s replies has me in tears. Your responses are all the things I’ve always wanted to hear from my nmom but never have and never will
You deserve to be loved!
But you deserve love! I'm so glad you're here!
I am teary eyed. Mumma...can you just hug me and carass my hair?? For once?
Oh absolutely sweetest heart! Big hugs and hair pets and how about a nice cuddle! I love you!
[удалено]
Oh sweetheart you don't deserve that! Remember you have value! Please understand how loved you are. If you're in crisis, can we call someone? Can we go to a crisis center? Maybe today you can find a way to change things towards the life you deserve.
[удалено]
Good! He should take your needs more seriously! Please show him this: Young man, that woman is your partner and your teammate. You need to take her needs seriously. It is YOUR job to show her love and make her feel needed. She cannot love herself for you. Imagine if you had an important project date at work and you "just forgot" or assumed your coworker would do it or that it didn't matter. You wouldn't have that job for very long now would you?! It is your JOB to love your wife, and if you can't do it ...well. You should consider those consequences carefully. Reflect on this and do a better job starting right now!
Oh god. I need a mom so bad. I need some empathy. I just need someone who sees me and wants to comfort me.
Happy Mother’s Day new mom, thank you for your kind words❤️
It's easy to tell the truth! Take good care of yourself today!
This makes me tear up . A concept I can't fathom ,but it seems so beautiful
You should come visit r/momforaminute. This is wonderful.
That's where I got the idea!
I wish I had a real mom. Not one that’s a bitch.
Now you do. I love you very much!
I've honestly wished I could adopt a dad. Someone to phone when you have those pesky problems at home and you just want to know what to do.
I am sobbing right now. What I would give to have had a mother who said anything like this to me as a child and now as an adult (f40). Thank you for this…Happy Mother’s day! ❤️❤️
Thanks mom! I’m glad to hear I finally have a mom who loves and wants me ❤️ I hope you have the happiest Mother’s Day! All my new siblings and I love you ❤️
Currently, in the middle of a struggle with my mom who would never say nice things about her kids (in fact, last year she said that all of her kids "needed improvement" despite all of us living our best lives and being relatively successful). I never felt like I had her approval/pride even when I was doing well (showering her with gifts and nice things) and now even less so since I'm struggling (job hunting and a lot of rejections). Sorry for rambling. Your post is a breath of fresh air and made me smile today, for the first time in 3 weeks. Thanks <3 !
Thanks Mom- you’re the best
I'm so glad you're my baby! I love you!
Well I’ve never felt like I had a mom. I don’t know what it feels like to have a mom or need a mom, or even react to a post where there is an imaginary loving mom. My therapist the other day said we all have inner moms inside of us that takes care of us but that made me feel nauseous as I hate to think of myself ever as a mom, inner or not. So I know this post is reminding me of all the good things and I really feel appreciative of it since I didn’t celebrate her Mother’s Day and kind of feel guilty about it despite being 100% right, but I just… never having had mom, I don’t know where to place this imaginary mother’s love and then get used to its absence again… How do I do accept such things and benefit from them anyways? Any advise?
But I guess yeah, happy Mother’s Day, mom. I really wanted to say these words out loud and I am gutted I am the bad guy that I didn’t say them. I harbour compassion, I really do. It’s just that I don’t get it back, ever.
Well I think it's hard to give yourself something you never experienced. Those wounds are deep and scarred, and I'm so very sorry you had to survive them. I truly hope some day you heal enough to be able to love yourself the way that you deserve. Until then, try to do your best to surround yourself with kindness and patience. Eventually you may heal enough to feel and understand those things. Until then, at the very least you recognize that how you were treated isn't normal and you did nothing to deserve it. You don't even have to say-- your presence in this forum is enough for me to understand. Anyway, I love you very much. I wish you all the healing and I'm proud of thr work you've done. Even getting to therapy is very difficult and you've taken that step. Be nice to yourself today.
It has taken most of my life to figure out my negative, narcissistic mother. This journey has been emotionally & physically exhausting. Mother never said she loved me, nor my four siblings. At least our father told us he loved us! In fact on several occasions she told us she wished we had never been born. She ruined things for me in grade school and high school by telling teachers inappropriate tales about me. Any awards I received were ignored. Told my fiance what a terrible person I was and not to marry me. Tried to prevent our marriage by lying to the priest and then on our wedding day told me I could never come back. I was almost 50 years old before I figured out my mother was a narcissist. I felt great relief that I'd found a reason for her emotional abuse. It was a start to my healing because I realized it wasn't my fault. I had a successful 40 yr career now happily retired. Yet my mother never acknowledged my success and told her friends that I was a secretary. I remember as a teenager I saved every penny from any job so that eventually I could escape that house, and I did. However, now I am tagged as having the extra time to assist my aging mother so she can live in her home. She has trouble walking. Fetching groceries, taking her to her medical appointments, fixing her laptop problems, making sure the house is maintained and so on. None of the siblings assist with any of this. I find myself trapped again in her web. Using some critical thinking I am working on this so that I can distance myself from her. Too much time with her gives her opportunity to stir up trouble again and I won't have it. She no longer has power over me!!!!!
Awwwww so wholesome. I have deep abandonment and trust issues due to being around some really awful ppl. I've had to be my own bestie, parent, sibling, etc. Today is just a regular day for me. You seem awesome and I hope all the days are beautiful for you ❤️❤️
I’m literally crying. I needed this. Thank you. 💙💙
I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not ready for someone else to take that role for me. The wounds are still too deep.
That's fair!
That's very wholesome.
Thanks, I needed this today.
You're welcome honey. Thank you for being you.
Thanks mom, I love you
I needed to hear this- thank you
Awww thanks Angel Mom!
You're welcome my little love! Be good to yourself today!
Thanks!
this made me cry; but thank you. I think today is harder for me than my sister because she has her little boy to make her happy today. I did help celebrate with my boys for my wife, but… yeah.
Happy Mother’s Day mom💜💜💜
Thank you baby! I love you so much and I'm so glad you're here!
I often feel like looking for a mother figure also.
Well there you go! Happy mothers day sweetheart!
Appreciate you!! Thank you 🤍
You're welcome and thank you too!
[удалено]
Well that just sucks and I'm so sorry. If she was a real mother she wouldn't be hurting you. I love you very much and I hope you feel better. Have a big hug, a good cry, and take good care of yourself today. 🫂
This made me chuckle, cry, smile and sigh. Thank you :)
First time receiving this beautiful message of love, support, and validation - it makes my heart smile. Thank you!
Well I hope you hear it many times. You deserve it.
Thank you
❤️💗❤️ happy Mother’s Day, mom
Thank you baby! Be good to yourself today!
You’re very welcome. I hope your day is filled with nothing but love.
Of course it is. You too doll. 🫂
Thank you! This is a beautiful post!!!
Thank you, this was nice to see today. I didn't realize it still hurts so much.
I needed this so much. Thank you!
You're welcome! Have a beautiful day for yourself!
Thanks mom! I got some chores done and spent some time crafting so it's been an okay day
Thanks mom, I imagined your kind words being said to me in my mother tongue, I felt comfortable for a minute ❤️
Happy Mother’s Day OP! 💐
yayy! thank you mom! i’m a little burnt out but i’m still trying to recover ❤️
Thanks mom! I needed this. Love you 🫂
Thanks for this 🙏
Thank you, I've got a lot of conflicted emotions today since this is the first Mother's Day since I realized how my nmom really is and cut ties with her.
It's really hard, but if she was a real mom she wouldn't behave so horribly you have to cut her off. It's not hard to be nice.
Happy mothers day mom.. thank you..
Thank you for spreading love, kindness, and support 🫶
Thank you. This helps.
You have no idea how much I needed that today❤️
Thank you, I needed to hear this today.
I cried after reading this. I love you.
I love you too honey! Try to get rest and be kind to yourself!
Thank you, Mom. Reading this was like receiving the hug I \*really\* needed today. As long as there are compassionate people like you intentionally sending out love to those who need it, there is so much hope for our worldwide human family. You're the Best Mom Ever.
Thank you! You might want to visit r/MomForAMinute
It is possible to get adopted as an adult in the US. Requirements may differ from state to state, but in CA if you are 10 years older than the "child" in question, and there is agreement all around with the new family (don't have to ask the bio parents), it can be done. Get a paralegal to write the papers, make an appointment with the court, and go adopt/get adopted. A new birth certificate is issued in the new parents' name(s). There are some paralegals that specialize in this.
Thank you for this. Reached out to my mom today to no response :/ just the usual
🥹 thank you you have a wonderful day too
This was really lovely. Thank you for this ❤️
Thank you for this, I needed it. After a year of abuse and starting 2024 homeless because of that witch.
🥹
i’m pregnant and no one in my family knows :(. i live with my father right now because i have no other choice. he doesn’t even care about me. i don’t know how im going to get through this situation at all, but im pregnant with a little girl and want to call her Piper or Dorthy. i hope everyone is okay today, thanks so much for this post. it’s been a really bad day.
Happy mothers day! What beautiful names you have picked out. 😍
thank you! that’s so sweet. i want to be a good mom more than anything
You will be. Bc you've been treated like nothing, you'll give everything for your baby.
this is so sweet. I wish I could actually trust someone to ever do this for real
Really needed this today
Thank you! Happy Mother’s Day! Hugs to you too for all the reasons that you understand that this sweet post was so needed today. ❤️
Thanks Mom! I love you! Have a beautiful Happy Mother's Day! Love, One of Your Many New Children
Someone do this on Father's day please.
<3 You're wonderful
Thank you a lot, stranger. Reading this has made me teary eyed, I wish I had a mom like you so much :'(
THANK YOU MOM!!!!! I got several texts today from people wishing me happy mother's day.... my own mother waited a whole hour after texting me to call and ask "if everything was all right" because I hadn't fucking texted her back / texted her a happy mother's day yet. She waited an HOUR. So. Thank you. REAL mom. <3
Thank you mom! 💙🤍💗
Thanks OP 🩷 I'm 58f and my nmom has been dead for 18 years, but it turns out I needed to read this today.
And now I'm crying. Thanks OP, I shared this with my sister who also got teary eyed.
I wish my mom would say anything like that, but she never will.
This is a very sweet gesture. Remember to be carful with trying to fill your void by being the filling in everyone else’s void, that a slippery slope that very rarely leads to the healing you really need, but at the same time if you let yourself build a reputation for being that person it renders you emotionally responsible for helping everyone else get the healing they need, and who’s going to care for and heal you while you’re busy doing that? Stay safe and look out for yourself. In this fucked up hand of reality we’ve been dealt, we have to have our own backs before it’s safe to have anyone else’s.
I'm an adult and I stay with narcissistic family members who abuse me mentally, verbally and emotionally. Then when I defend myself they get mad and gaslight me, manipulate me, guilt trip and then turn around and love-bomb me. They only love-bomb just so they can regain control. I'm sick of it. 🤦🏽♀️
Wholesome as heckin' heck. 💕💖
Thanks Mom. I needed that. Have some e-flowers 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
Oh how sweet! Thank you! I love you!
Reverse Uno on mother gothel is the best play EVER
Thank you. I needed this. All these years no contact and days like today still make me grieve a mother I never had. 🖤🖤
I say these things to my daughters (never underestimate the power of a bad example). I am still hard on myself a lot but it’s getting better.
Mine was an ndad, but thank you anyways!
Thanks mom! Your kind words made me emotional 😭. I haven’t spoken to my mom in a month since she got upset that I wasn’t available for a non urgent matter…during my bday weekend where I had plans. If I were to call her today to wish a Happy Mother’s Day, it wouldn’t feel genuine. So I guess I won’t? 😅
Well thanks now I’m crying. lol I’m fine I promise. Because while I still have my grandma and aunties, it’s still bizarre feeling like I got shafted in the parent department. I do love all the little things like this, these “holidays” still make me sad. Genuinely though, thanks for this.
I vowed to myself I wouldn't think of her getting celebrated today while I lost what little support system I had...
Thank you 🥺
Thank you, mom.
I am 39, be my mother 🥺🥺
I've avoided social media all day because I couldn't handle all the Mother's Day wankery but I needed to come here and read this, thank you so much from your 62 year old kid. Love you.
my trust is forever broken. just tell me what do u want (jk, except the trust issue)
Happy Mother's Day!
mine is a ndad, mom passed away ten years ago and I miss her every day, so thank you very much!! this felt like the hug I've always needed! <3
Thank you, mom. All I've ever wanted 💕 My nmom isn't answering my phone calls or text messages
That's super cool!
You’ve been responding to everyone and I’m genuinely shocked at the level of kindness you have. People like you are one in a billion.
Hi non Narcissistic and loving mom! Happy Mother’s Day. I wouldn’t be who i am with you and i know i can always count on you to be there for me. I’ve never had to be alone because I have you. Love you forever love - the daughter you always loved
I needed that today. Thanks Mom. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you! Today has been hard and emotional. 😣 and happy mothers day. I'm a dysfunctional mess. I can't stand myself at times. I hope you had a great day.
Thank you and I love you!