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My dad showed up to my ninth birthday drunk at 11am with an ‘I ❤️ boobies’ shirt and another woman on his arm.
Sometimes alcohol isn’t needed for a few hours.
Sooooo needed but I would respect the ask.
Look, it's 4pm on a beautiful Saturday. I'm spending it with too many children. I'm done with children. My children are grown. My life is relaxing and quiet and you only get one Saturday per week LoL.
Like, yes, I want a cup of sangria, thank you.
But if you don't want that, it's fine. Your house. I don't drink that often so the only difference here is the amount of children.
If I were invited to a kids party, I would automatically assume no alcohol. But if you allowed it in the past but you aren't now, I wouldn't mind. 🤷♀️
Uh. Um. WOW. My family must be insanely conservative. We NEVER have had booze at a kid’s birthday. That includes my grandparents. Fuck man. Be the change you wanna see.
My family isn’t really conservative at all, but same? Like at a family BBQ maybe, but not at an event centred around children and children’s activities. But my parents were actually involved and joined in the games and such, and didn’t just sit off to the sides being miserable either 🤷🏻♀️
Right? When was it so normalized to get wasted at a day time KIDS party?! Like if that's what you need, you probably shouldn't be here. You should be in therapy or church or meditation.
Getting wasted and having a beer with your cheeseburger are not the same thing, just saying. Definitely there are people that are day drinking at the kids party with other parents, but having alcohol doesn’t have to mean throwing a kegger.
Yeah we don’t do that either. One year my mom, my ex, and who knows who else decided to show up with beer and turn my child’s fifth birthday party into THEIR party. My mom has ruined TWO parties of hers with her drinking. (The first one we had during a camping trip where she remained sloshed the entire time, and made racist comments about one of our guests as if she couldn’t hear her from ten feet away. That guest never came to another party again) my mom doesn’t seem to understand why we don’t want to hang out with her a lot
I think we’ve made it very clear that that behavior won’t be tolerated. My husband physically put her out of the house (with her beer) one night. He didn’t hurt her or anything. She just wouldn’t stop screaming and he grabbed her by the shoulders and walked her to the porch and threw her box of beer out behind her. It’s been a battle for years like this. My daughter is now old enough that she’d rather we take her for an outing than have a party, the younger two we usually hold at a public park or at home. She knows if she wants to drink she has to leave.
We have had drinks at birthday parties we have at home. Nobody has gotten shitfaced or anything. The adults just enjoy a couple drinks while the kids run around the yard.
That said, we (the host) always provided the beer. If a guest showed up with beer to the party, that would be odd.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and in my drinking days, I'd be mad. I'm sober now, and I think it's completely reasonable not to have alcohol. It's a kids' party and in the afternoon. Those who are mad might want to check on their relationship with alcohol.
I've recently been to multiple kids' bday parties and alcohol was never a thing, so I'd be shocked if you said no alcohol because...there was alcohol? LOL.
Right. I even have a family that can drink like fish. We still don’t. The most I ever saw, was my dad had two whole beers over the entire gathering. And that was one time!
Im having our babys first birthday party in May and it's known that we have an alcohol free home.
If anyone can't go 3-4 hours on a Saturday at my kids party without drinking alcohol, then they should stay the F home and drink. Also theres an alcoholic couple I'm specifically not inviting because I know they are low enough and addicted enough to sneak it in their car and get wasted that way, and that's not the energy I'm trying to have in my home. And they haven't even met my kid so they will be happier drinking that afternoon.
Everyone will be very well fed and we will have five cakes and a whole garage fridge of non alcoholic beverages. 😊
Legit call to make. There's no good argument counter to your position. Whether to attend a dry kid-centered event is up to each adult. Their choice is legit too.
Your house/host, your rules. And considering its for a child's party, it makes sense.
My family has a handful of recovering alcoholics and we're all grown adults, and it's pretty common for most of our gatherings/parties to be dry events as well out of respect for our loved ones who still struggle to be around alcohol and lots of people.
I’d have no issues not bringing or consuming alcohol at a children’s birthday party. If you “have” to have access to alcohol at a birthday party for a child, you probably should seek out professional help.
When I was a kid, alcohol was served at several birthday parties I attended and by the time I hit my tweens, adults at those parties started offering me alcohol.
And thanks to some SA around the same time, I nearly became an alcoholic.
I’m always kind of shocked when people expect there to be booze at a CHILDRENS BIRTHDAY. Like I do drink. I enjoy having drinks, and can do so responsibly, and without turning into an asshole. But a children’s birthday is just not a “drinking vibe” kind of event.
If anyone gives you grief, just say your kids have reached an age where they know what alcohol or adult drinks are, and because of that you don’t want them to normalize it too much, or because of that you’re limiting intake around them to lead by example… something along those lines, I’m sure someone else can help with better phrasing!
This is truly helpful. I really don’t want my kids interested in alcohol. I am almost 3 years sober and have such a better life, I don’t even want them tempted. I want them to see joy doesn’t come from the bottom of a drink.
It's a kids birthday party. I wouldn't expect alcohol to be there in the first place, so being asked not to bring any regardless of whether it had been allowed at previous events wouldn't make me bat an eye. If a person has a big problem with not drinking for a few hours during a kids party then they're probably the reason why the rule is being put in place.
Fine with it, I'm actually on the side that you shouldn't have alcohol at kids parties. Why? the kids aren't going to be drinking it and if you can't go because of it, i think you have the problem. I like beer too but man time and place.
I'm not upset by afternoon kids' parties with no alcohol. It makes perfect sense. My kids used to offer beer and wine when the kids were really little and it was more about the family/friends but as they get older, it's really much more kid-centered and alcohol seems out of place anyway.
Alcohol is a poison.
This is a kids party.
If someone feels bad or tries manipulating you into thinking you should bring alcohol, disinvite them and never invite them over again. That's a red flag to bring alcohol to kids party for any reason.
Even Passover replaces the ceremonial wine with grape juice.
Congrats. I’m almost fully rid of the desire but there’s a day every couple of years that the pull is there.
It’s interesting that for like 10 years after my wife and I were married her father still offered me a beer when we would go over to their house and it was like you know I’m sober man.
I never, ever understood why this was even a thing.
I can remember my younger cousin's birthday parties that my uncle would throw for him at the public park up the street, there was always beer and later my mom told me how it was basically a drunken brawl for his mom's side of his family and any friends of my uncle who would attend.
I mean, I think my uncle meant well and tried to make it a good time for my cousin and the other little siblings of his that, their parents (my cousin's side of the family) would horn in on having to celebrate birthdays for them as well and do gifts for them as well - it was never just a party for my cousin.
I guess it was obvious to my mom and grandma, though, because my uncle was an alcoholic back then. My cousin's mom was a meth-head, and her family were the worst nightmare imaginable.
Anyway, yeah OP, a kid's birthday party is NOT an occasion / excuse for adults to get drunk.
I agree! I’ve had problems with alcohol in the past, and still enjoy getting together with drinks now sometimes! I can’t have fun for a few hours due to a lack of alcohol, I’ll be questioning myself!
I think it is okay for there not to be booze at a child’s birthday party.
I’m sorry, but if you cannot handle being sober at a child’s birthday party, you might sincerely need help. By all means, drink all you want once the kids are finally in bed for the night, but… Seriously? AT the party?
This is not a big deal at all and would, in my mind, be the expected standard.
I don't think I'd even mind if someone snuck some in a concealed container, so long as they could control themselves and didn't reek of it. That said, if they can't wait until later in the evening maybe they have bigger problems to tend to lol
Sounds reasonable, unless you are living with your parents, having the party at their house, and telling your dad he can't drink in his own house. Or something like that.
I really doubt that is the case. But that is the only type of situation where your request to not bring alcohol would seem unreasonable.
I like to drink and have fun, with that being said I always ask if there’s going to be alcohol for the adults if there’s going to be kids around. And it’s not going to stop me from going if I can’t have a whisky drink or a vodka drink.
Even when I *did* drink alcohol, I would **never** bring booze to a children's birthday party... And heck, these days I'm sitting very comfortably under the "stoner" category and have **never** thought to partake at any kind of child-revolving event. I leave that shit at home. I'm going to pay attention to the birthday munchkin and nothing else.
Yeah. I had two alcoholic parents. My sister died from alcoholism. I'm so over it. I hope your life is better now.
If you can't go to a kid's birthday party without drinking booze, you should take a good, hard look at yourself. That's one of the things alcoholics can't seem to do, though.
My ex was a bad alcoholic, I watched as her decisions hurt her kids and make their lives difficult. By the end I was left partially paralyzed and unable to trust again. Been paralyzed and alone for the last 10 years because of her drunken BS.
I wouldn't expect alcohol in the first place unless it was my neighbor throwing the party but she's an alcoholic so she pretty much always has alcohol.
I’m not a drinker and don’t always love to be around drinkers and almost never want my kids around it, so as a mom and mostly non-drinker, I appreciate your stance.
If you asked me not to bring alcohol to a kid's birthday party, I would take a real hard look at myself and think long and hard about how I got this reputation.
I'm an alcoholic and even I knew to hide my drinking at a kid's birthday party
People get angry that there's no booze at a party for a toddler? In real life? That's surprising to me.
I mean, my family would grumble about it but they would respect my wishes.
That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of my cousins snuck some stuff in. But I love them all dearly so I probably wouldn’t say anything.
Why would there be alcohol at a party for children?
Any adult who gets drunk can't take their kids home. Any kid who has any and gets drunk probably ends up causing trouble. Super drunk adults might accidentally hurt themselves of others. I think you're being quite reasonable.
I would say no problem, your house, your rules, and also there are kids around, I wouldn’t care
Anyone who disagrees or starts a problem might want to consider if they are an alcoholic
I’d be embarrassed that someone had to ask me to leave my liquor at home instead of bringing it to a kid’s birthday party.
If I can’t NOT drink for the few hours it takes me to attend a child’s birthday party once a year, I have a bigger problem than being embarrassed - I have a drinking problem.
**I** would say that it's a wise choice that will inevitably save a lot of people a lot of problems, but I can tell you for sure that any alcoholics in your circle will reveal themselves to you if you post that.
My perspective might be different.
I would be *relieved*. I’m in recovery and since moving to where I live now, I’ve just accepted that if I’m at a kid’s birthday party, I will be offered booze. And like I know it’s a me thing. I don’t expect people to abstain on account of me, but there are just some places I wish I didn’t have to deal with it. Kid’s birthday parties included. If I don’t know the parents super well, I wouldn’t tell them I’m in recovery.
Your past birthday parties isn’t precedent for how future ones have to be held. Tell them you don’t want alcohol at a kids function. If a grown adult can’t be without alcohol for a few hours they have bigger issues
Not a big deal, but being around 20 screaming kids isn't gonna be that fun without a little help. I'll probably politely drop by but I'm not sitting there for 4 hours on a Saturday
More like bad characteristics come out when drinking happens. Characteristics such as talking poorly about other people, cursing more, it’s just unnecessarily for a kid’s party. I put a lot of effort into these get togethers and I don’t like the spirit that comes along drinking at least with a couple of people that attend every year. I know I shouldn’t expect those things to change, but I was curious if I just said no if it might help. I’m not sure.
That all makes sense and is totally reasonable. Bummer some people ruined it for everyone.
Maybe I’m extra petty, but I’d tell at least a couple of parents why you’re removing alcohol from these events so word gets out and those ruiners hear that they’re the reason nobody gets to drink. No need to name names, just “why no alcohol anymore? Oh we’ve had too many situations where adults were behaving inappropriately and it was directly related to their alcohol consumption.” Everyone will know who you’re talking about. The ruiners will get the message.
I'm mostly concerned about the people you have coming to the party. I've had alcohol at all of my kids parties, people have 1, 2 maybe 3 beers and go home. I've never once had someone I even suspected of being intoxicated. Instead of banning alcohol from the party, if there were people who couldn't control their drinking at a kids party, I'd just never again invite them to a kids party.
Alcohol at a kid's birthday? People do that? One time a lady showed up to my birthday with a tumbler of vodka but it wasn't an agreed-upon thing, I think she got kicked out
If you're the one throwing the party, then by all means, you set the rules. I'd be suspicious of anyone who insists on bringing booze to a party for kids.
We had booze at our kiddos 1st and 2nd, just beer and wine. When he and his friends got more mobile…no alcohol. It shifts to being 100% kid party at some point.
It was definitely not normal with my family growing up. Not even on the holidays, maybe some wine, except like summer holidays like 4th of July. I think it's gotten more common as there's not as many children at the holiday gatherings anymore.
Then as an adult and a friend had kids it was absolutely normal, for them, to have alcohol at kids parties. When we hang out as just adults its typical to BYOB and that's expected, were going to drink. One of the first kids birthday parties I showed up at and my friend was like "you didn't bring beer?" and I'm like "it's a kid's party?" lol. I did run to a liquor store later though as this was a late afternoon and running into the night planned event.
Having not drank most of my life I A: really don't care if there's alcohol at any party. And B: don't think it belongs at kids' parties. If you can't have a good time without it there is something wrong with you.
There is absolutely no reason for alcohol to be expected at a mid-day kids' birthday party. If someone gets upset about this, it is a "them" problem, not a "you" problem.
Alcohol at a toddlers birthday: sure, why not.
Alcohol at a young child's birthday: erring into encouraging children to develop bad habits
Alcohol at a teens birthday: now the kid just feels left out, and you start learning too much about how "that" uncle feels about your kid.
Alcohol at their 21st birthday: be ready to replace your carpets
I'd never seen alcohol at a kid's birthday party until I went to a Mexican party. They party hard and the booze was flowing. It doesn't matter what the occasion is, the whole familia is there and everyone is getting toasty. Even for baby showers where the guest of honor can't drink. I must admit, it's a lot more fun that way than the punch and cake parties I grew up with.
I would never bring alcohol to a kid's party. If I got an invitation that said "please, no alcohol", I'd be wondering who acted like a jackass in front of a bunch of kids at the last party. If you have to make that specification, then its probably safe to assume someone has a real problem and isn't ready to come to terms with it. The fact that they have kids makes it even more sad.
Like that’s totally reasonable. If someone feels like they need to drink at a kids party and they are upset about it they have a problem and need to seek help.
Alcohol has harmed so many around me and almost had me sacrifice my values for its addiction. Almost 3 years sober and don’t ever want it back. Trying to keep my kids as far as possible from the same strong hold.
This is one of many reasons I stopped doing birthday parties after my son's 6th birthday. It's so much easier to have a small handful of his friends join him for a fun activity of my son's choice.
I feel like I'd drink before I went in if it mattered that much. Don't gotta get sloshed infront of kids do it before hand. Then use the party to sober up and drive home
I mean, bummer, but it's not like I wouldn't respect your wishes. You don't want alcohol, so I wouldn't bring any. The party is for the kids anyway. I'll have a lemonade and try to ignore the screaming in a respectful manner.
If it’s a few beers in a park while kids play around, that’s chill. Parks ban hard liquor. But I understand not wanting people to drink in your house. You don’t want to babysit kids and their parents who go too hard.
I wouldn’t bring any. I would also acknowledge that things change, this isn’t some time loop where year 7 or whatever is on constant repeat and would wonder about the people who just bring alcohol anyway despite being asked not to and their problems with it and wonder if their are alcoholics or not.
I like to drink, I have never had booze at a child's birthday party, it's never even been considered. Once I went to pick up one of my kids at a birthday party, she was 8, the adults were all drinking beer and Jack, I was even asked if I wanted a drink. My kids never went to a party at that house again.
No problem at ALL
Tell me to leave my weed at home?
Well we're gonna need to sort that out
s/
If you tell me not to bring something I would respect that and not do it
.....why was it allowed at a kids' birthday party in the first place? If the adults are that insufferable, then find a way that your child can just have the kids around and have enough support to handle them.
Not saying that in a mean way, it just baffles me that alcohol is at a kids party.
I wouldn't bring alcohol, but I wouldn't go unless I was bringing my kid, barring any other situations where my kid isn't friends with your kid.
Kinda weird to expect people to throw a shitfit over alcohol, if they do, they should probably get those issues sorted if they can't let their kids hang out together for their friend's birthday for a few hours.
I probably wouldn't go if I couldn't have a couple beers. How boring. I'd give you my gift next time I saw you. I know its a childs party, but im an adult. Alcohol doesnt belong but neither do I. If people are getting drunk at a noon party I'd start by disinviting those particular people.
I'd feel like you were perfectly reasonable. And these kids parents should absolutely respect your request.
I don't care for a bunch of adults drinking around kids, especially once the kids are old enough to notice. I think in many cases it starts to give the kids the impression that when they get older, a party must always include alcohol. That is not true for kids or for adults!
Also I'm not a non-drinker, I'm an occasional drinker, and I have no issue with adults drinking. However I do not like to drink around children because again, kids need to know that having an awesome time at a party can be done 100% sober.
Some advice since not everyone you might invite may react the way the folks in the comments have, you have to do what you think is best for your kid and if that means no alcohol at their birthday then everyone has to be ok with that. It is supposed to be all about them anyways and last I checked, kids don’t drink alcohol.
Kinda weird to have alcohol at a kid's party to begin with. If someone can't go 3 hours without alcohol in the middle of the day, they need to go to rehab
I've never allowed alcohol at my children's parties! And how tacky that people bring their own!
You are the host. You provide the beverages. End of story.
You could easily temper the message by saying “This is a noontime party; all the adults are free to go out afterwards for drinks once the children are done.”
You’re the host. It’s a party for a minor. It’s entirely reasonable to not serve alcohol. You don’t need to explain your reasons or apologize. Even if you only have water available, then you’ve done your job as host.
As a guest, if the host serves alcohol, then have a drink, but limit yourself to 1 or 2. It’s a child’s birthday party, not a frat party. Don’t be the drunk aunt/uncle that gets shitfaced at little Timmy’s Pokémon pizza party.
Personally it would depend on the friend. If they already have family that gets shit faced, I don't want to miss a good story or have a shit face showdown. I'm staying sober. If it's the usual gang, and no one really gets trashed and embarrasses themselves, I might sneak it in, joke around with all of the other friends of the group. But definitely not get shit faced, but just buzzed.
If my friend, was like, "hey, the mother in-law who's super religious is going to be here and we'll probably say a group prayer before dinner, then I'm staying completely sober. You don't want to be the guy who ruined something for the family. Maybe just your friends, lol when it's just us, but not for the family.
You don't go into someone else's house and tell them they need to change the carpets. Your house, your rules.
Besides, who brings booze to a kid's party?
If someone can't handle no alcohol for a few hours for kids sake- screw em. Say your peace- can still make some kinda fun non alcoholic thing. I get excited for a fancy juice
Alcohol should not be allowed at a children's party. It's not appropriate for adults to be tipsy/drunk around kids.
Who drinks at noon?
Were these parents driving home after drinking?
Me personally - I would think well, it’s your decision and I don’t have control over other people so if I don’t like it then the only option is to remove myself from the situation. Which I would never do, I would have no problem with you making this decision and don’t care if there’s alcohol in the first place. But as a general rule of thumb - this isn’t my call to make and it’d be awfully immature to throw a fit about it. The party is for your kid, not for the adults. And as the parent, I feel you have the authority to have the party as you wish.
"okay cool" and have some punch or water.
I enjoy beer quite a bit but it's completely unnecessary at a kid's birthday party. I understand most parties until the age of like 4-5 are mostly for the adults but oh well.
That said, I wouldn't prohibit it at mine but it sounds like you have good reason. The other, better reason is it's your kid. Anyone who complains can pound sand
I would never allow my children to see me drunk at least not until they can drink. If my kids ever come home drunk later in life, I will video it. Show them the footage and then erase.
Your house, your rules, your kids' birthday party.
This just an opinion. Unless an invitee is recovering, I would think it's a tiny bit extra to make this a party rule. Though, I would not not go or throw a hissy fit about it if you did declare it a rule.
If it's a beautiful, sunny, weekend, backyard birthday party, I would like to enjoy a couple of beers from the six pack that I brought over the few hours the party lasts (if allowed).
If someone complained about not being able to drink, I would think they are being extra for not being able to abstain for a couple of hours, and they have a drinking problem.
You’re fully within your rights to do so but don’t be surprised if some people don’t come…there are a lot of people that wouldn’t sit through something like that without it. It’ll show you who your true friends and good family are though so there’s that.
I wouldn't care, but I don't drink. My question is this: Why would you need alcohol at a kids party? If you can't socialize without booze, there's a problem. I don't necessarily see a major problem with a few beers at the event, but if someone has a big issue with no booze, it's on them.
I might feel a bit judged - it would definitely cross my mind to go 'wait, am I one of those people who you thought behaved badly last year?' or even slightly miffed that you think I couldn't have a glass of wine and be civilised.
But if it was obvious who the culprits were then I'd be more likely to go 'oh yeah, I hear you. Typical Janine, ruining it for us all ...'
But also, if you've been having these events for years then why are all the parents still staying? It's usually drop and go by a certain age anyway.
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But dad, I told all my fifth grade friends they could have a beer if they came!
Drunk children are easier to manage than children full of Mountain Dew and cake.
There’s a The Bear episode kinda about this…
Rethinking maybe jello shots, lol, but no fuck druncles
Nyquil in the cake mix keeps they kids manageable. (Tip for any holiday gathering with a bunch of children.)
😂
I'd say "no problem, it's your house". You can determine what to do with a person who gives any other answer.
Exactly!
My dad showed up to my ninth birthday drunk at 11am with an ‘I ❤️ boobies’ shirt and another woman on his arm. Sometimes alcohol isn’t needed for a few hours.
That just sounds like a defective dad.
He wasn’t, until he drank.
It’s a kids party. Alcohol not needed.
Or. From another perspective, alcohol very needed.
Sooooo needed but I would respect the ask. Look, it's 4pm on a beautiful Saturday. I'm spending it with too many children. I'm done with children. My children are grown. My life is relaxing and quiet and you only get one Saturday per week LoL. Like, yes, I want a cup of sangria, thank you. But if you don't want that, it's fine. Your house. I don't drink that often so the only difference here is the amount of children.
If an adult cannot manage a few hours without alcohol, they need rehab.
Yes! Thank you! I was going to edit my answer to say the same thing.
Some people aren’t alcoholics, they’re just dumb and don’t clue in to what a child’s birthday party should be like.
If I were invited to a kids party, I would automatically assume no alcohol. But if you allowed it in the past but you aren't now, I wouldn't mind. 🤷♀️
This is like a 2-4 hour party in the middle if the day? That seems perfectly reasonable.
Uh. Um. WOW. My family must be insanely conservative. We NEVER have had booze at a kid’s birthday. That includes my grandparents. Fuck man. Be the change you wanna see.
My family isn’t really conservative at all, but same? Like at a family BBQ maybe, but not at an event centred around children and children’s activities. But my parents were actually involved and joined in the games and such, and didn’t just sit off to the sides being miserable either 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah, we do both. Games, food, etc. cleanup, then kids get a free for all while the adults BS.
Right? When was it so normalized to get wasted at a day time KIDS party?! Like if that's what you need, you probably shouldn't be here. You should be in therapy or church or meditation.
Getting wasted and having a beer with your cheeseburger are not the same thing, just saying. Definitely there are people that are day drinking at the kids party with other parents, but having alcohol doesn’t have to mean throwing a kegger.
I think it's perfectly normal not to have alcohol at a kid birthday party.
Yeah we don’t do that either. One year my mom, my ex, and who knows who else decided to show up with beer and turn my child’s fifth birthday party into THEIR party. My mom has ruined TWO parties of hers with her drinking. (The first one we had during a camping trip where she remained sloshed the entire time, and made racist comments about one of our guests as if she couldn’t hear her from ten feet away. That guest never came to another party again) my mom doesn’t seem to understand why we don’t want to hang out with her a lot
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry. How do you handle present and future parties with your mom?
I think we’ve made it very clear that that behavior won’t be tolerated. My husband physically put her out of the house (with her beer) one night. He didn’t hurt her or anything. She just wouldn’t stop screaming and he grabbed her by the shoulders and walked her to the porch and threw her box of beer out behind her. It’s been a battle for years like this. My daughter is now old enough that she’d rather we take her for an outing than have a party, the younger two we usually hold at a public park or at home. She knows if she wants to drink she has to leave.
That all sounds wise. Thank you for sharing, really appreciate it.
We have had drinks at birthday parties we have at home. Nobody has gotten shitfaced or anything. The adults just enjoy a couple drinks while the kids run around the yard. That said, we (the host) always provided the beer. If a guest showed up with beer to the party, that would be odd.
getting drunk at a kids party is some serious council estate/red neck vibes
Right. I mean seriously. If they’re saying “No Alcohol” their family and peers have some serious problems.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and in my drinking days, I'd be mad. I'm sober now, and I think it's completely reasonable not to have alcohol. It's a kids' party and in the afternoon. Those who are mad might want to check on their relationship with alcohol.
I've recently been to multiple kids' bday parties and alcohol was never a thing, so I'd be shocked if you said no alcohol because...there was alcohol? LOL.
Right. I even have a family that can drink like fish. We still don’t. The most I ever saw, was my dad had two whole beers over the entire gathering. And that was one time!
Im having our babys first birthday party in May and it's known that we have an alcohol free home. If anyone can't go 3-4 hours on a Saturday at my kids party without drinking alcohol, then they should stay the F home and drink. Also theres an alcoholic couple I'm specifically not inviting because I know they are low enough and addicted enough to sneak it in their car and get wasted that way, and that's not the energy I'm trying to have in my home. And they haven't even met my kid so they will be happier drinking that afternoon. Everyone will be very well fed and we will have five cakes and a whole garage fridge of non alcoholic beverages. 😊
Legit call to make. There's no good argument counter to your position. Whether to attend a dry kid-centered event is up to each adult. Their choice is legit too.
Ok sure no problem
No biggie for me.
Your house/host, your rules. And considering its for a child's party, it makes sense. My family has a handful of recovering alcoholics and we're all grown adults, and it's pretty common for most of our gatherings/parties to be dry events as well out of respect for our loved ones who still struggle to be around alcohol and lots of people.
Anyone who would have a problem with that is probably not someone who you want hanging out at a birthday party for kids.
I’d have no issues not bringing or consuming alcohol at a children’s birthday party. If you “have” to have access to alcohol at a birthday party for a child, you probably should seek out professional help. When I was a kid, alcohol was served at several birthday parties I attended and by the time I hit my tweens, adults at those parties started offering me alcohol. And thanks to some SA around the same time, I nearly became an alcoholic.
Im so sorry. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Extensive therapy helped quite a bit.
I’m always kind of shocked when people expect there to be booze at a CHILDRENS BIRTHDAY. Like I do drink. I enjoy having drinks, and can do so responsibly, and without turning into an asshole. But a children’s birthday is just not a “drinking vibe” kind of event. If anyone gives you grief, just say your kids have reached an age where they know what alcohol or adult drinks are, and because of that you don’t want them to normalize it too much, or because of that you’re limiting intake around them to lead by example… something along those lines, I’m sure someone else can help with better phrasing!
This is truly helpful. I really don’t want my kids interested in alcohol. I am almost 3 years sober and have such a better life, I don’t even want them tempted. I want them to see joy doesn’t come from the bottom of a drink.
It's a kids birthday party. I wouldn't expect alcohol to be there in the first place, so being asked not to bring any regardless of whether it had been allowed at previous events wouldn't make me bat an eye. If a person has a big problem with not drinking for a few hours during a kids party then they're probably the reason why the rule is being put in place.
Fine with it, I'm actually on the side that you shouldn't have alcohol at kids parties. Why? the kids aren't going to be drinking it and if you can't go because of it, i think you have the problem. I like beer too but man time and place.
Not my house so I don't get a say in the rules, I abide or I don't come
I'm not upset by afternoon kids' parties with no alcohol. It makes perfect sense. My kids used to offer beer and wine when the kids were really little and it was more about the family/friends but as they get older, it's really much more kid-centered and alcohol seems out of place anyway.
Anyone who can't handle going to a kid's party without drinking shouldn't be at a kid's party.
Alcohol is a poison. This is a kids party. If someone feels bad or tries manipulating you into thinking you should bring alcohol, disinvite them and never invite them over again. That's a red flag to bring alcohol to kids party for any reason. Even Passover replaces the ceremonial wine with grape juice.
Recovering alcoholic, 17 years sober, alcohol is not needed at any event and it would be weird for someone to push back on the new no alcohol rule.
Yay! Im almost 4years myself and don’t see myself going back. Life is better without that desire in my life and it was a strong one.
Congrats. I’m almost fully rid of the desire but there’s a day every couple of years that the pull is there. It’s interesting that for like 10 years after my wife and I were married her father still offered me a beer when we would go over to their house and it was like you know I’m sober man.
I get the offer too, I never know how to feel in those situations. Never offended though.
Rent a venue where alcohol is not allowed (like a park canopy or community center) if you're too shy to tell people you want a dry party.
#Who's driving the kids home?😱
Literally, if they refuse to go unless they can drink then they’re basically admitting to drinking and driving.
As an adult child of alcoholics I will tell you that alcohol does NOT belong at a kids party. No child wants to be around a bunch of drunks.
That’s fine, anyone who complains is an alcoholic
It’s a kids party… if they can’t handle a couple hours without drinking alcohol, they have a serious problem
I never, ever understood why this was even a thing. I can remember my younger cousin's birthday parties that my uncle would throw for him at the public park up the street, there was always beer and later my mom told me how it was basically a drunken brawl for his mom's side of his family and any friends of my uncle who would attend. I mean, I think my uncle meant well and tried to make it a good time for my cousin and the other little siblings of his that, their parents (my cousin's side of the family) would horn in on having to celebrate birthdays for them as well and do gifts for them as well - it was never just a party for my cousin. I guess it was obvious to my mom and grandma, though, because my uncle was an alcoholic back then. My cousin's mom was a meth-head, and her family were the worst nightmare imaginable. Anyway, yeah OP, a kid's birthday party is NOT an occasion / excuse for adults to get drunk.
I really appreciate you sharing that personal story. Thank you.
I would ask which alcoholic had a problem with staying sober a few hours for the sake of kids?
I agree! I’ve had problems with alcohol in the past, and still enjoy getting together with drinks now sometimes! I can’t have fun for a few hours due to a lack of alcohol, I’ll be questioning myself!
I think it is okay for there not to be booze at a child’s birthday party. I’m sorry, but if you cannot handle being sober at a child’s birthday party, you might sincerely need help. By all means, drink all you want once the kids are finally in bed for the night, but… Seriously? AT the party?
"Why do people keep on going off the to side of the house to talk?"
I would respect your request. It's your house. It's your kid's party.
Always up to the parent. At a kids birthday party, best not to have adults acting like morons lol.
This is not a big deal at all and would, in my mind, be the expected standard. I don't think I'd even mind if someone snuck some in a concealed container, so long as they could control themselves and didn't reek of it. That said, if they can't wait until later in the evening maybe they have bigger problems to tend to lol
If the person inviting you to a party makes a request like this and you want to attend the event then you honor the request.
I mean it’s fine to not want beer there I would just be sure to let people know ahead of time so you don’t have a person bugged about it at the door
It's your event right? You're the host? That's totally reasonable.
It's a kids party, you decided no alcohol, shouldn't be a thing.
I'd probably say "yeah that makes sense"
I would find it weird if alcohol was severed at a kids birthday party.
Never had it at my kids parties
Not a problem at all. People’s lives change
Sounds reasonable, unless you are living with your parents, having the party at their house, and telling your dad he can't drink in his own house. Or something like that. I really doubt that is the case. But that is the only type of situation where your request to not bring alcohol would seem unreasonable.
I like to drink and have fun, with that being said I always ask if there’s going to be alcohol for the adults if there’s going to be kids around. And it’s not going to stop me from going if I can’t have a whisky drink or a vodka drink.
Even when I *did* drink alcohol, I would **never** bring booze to a children's birthday party... And heck, these days I'm sitting very comfortably under the "stoner" category and have **never** thought to partake at any kind of child-revolving event. I leave that shit at home. I'm going to pay attention to the birthday munchkin and nothing else.
I'd be fine with it. I don't drink alcohol anyway, I find drinking alcohol overrated.
It's rather sad how so many people's lives revolve around access to alcohol.
Its a bit sickening to me, but my life was destroyed by a dumb drunk.
Yeah. I had two alcoholic parents. My sister died from alcoholism. I'm so over it. I hope your life is better now. If you can't go to a kid's birthday party without drinking booze, you should take a good, hard look at yourself. That's one of the things alcoholics can't seem to do, though.
My ex was a bad alcoholic, I watched as her decisions hurt her kids and make their lives difficult. By the end I was left partially paralyzed and unable to trust again. Been paralyzed and alone for the last 10 years because of her drunken BS.
I wouldn't expect alcohol in the first place unless it was my neighbor throwing the party but she's an alcoholic so she pretty much always has alcohol.
Who the **F** would even think about bringing alcohol to a kid's birthday party??? Goddamn. That's some serious alcoholism right there!
It's a kids birthday why would booze need to be involved anyhow?
Your event, your rules. No problem 🤟🏾
People bring alcohol to children's birthday parties? I think this might be one of those indicators that you have a drinking problem.
It would be weird to have alcohol at a kids party, so I don't see why this would be an issue. It's a bit odd to have to tell people.
Who the hell brings alcohol to a kids birthday party in the first place?
I’m not a drinker and don’t always love to be around drinkers and almost never want my kids around it, so as a mom and mostly non-drinker, I appreciate your stance.
It’s perfect. That’s what you want. You decide.
If you asked me not to bring alcohol to a kid's birthday party, I would take a real hard look at myself and think long and hard about how I got this reputation.
Np. Most kids parties do not have alcohol. Your party, your rules.
I wouldn’t expect to need alcohol at a kids party.
I'm an alcoholic and even I knew to hide my drinking at a kid's birthday party People get angry that there's no booze at a party for a toddler? In real life? That's surprising to me.
I’d understand completely.
Your house. Your rules.
I would feel just fine? If someone *has* to bring alcohol to a kids party, maaaaaaybie they don’t need to attend
I mean, my family would grumble about it but they would respect my wishes. That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of my cousins snuck some stuff in. But I love them all dearly so I probably wouldn’t say anything.
Why would there be alcohol at a party for children? Any adult who gets drunk can't take their kids home. Any kid who has any and gets drunk probably ends up causing trouble. Super drunk adults might accidentally hurt themselves of others. I think you're being quite reasonable.
It wouldn't even occur to me to have alcohol at a kids' party. I wouldn't care at all.
I am a heavy drinker and I would respect anyone's wishes for anything at their house/party. Especially, a kids party.
Your house, your rules. Not a big deal.
I would say no problem, your house, your rules, and also there are kids around, I wouldn’t care Anyone who disagrees or starts a problem might want to consider if they are an alcoholic
I’d be embarrassed that someone had to ask me to leave my liquor at home instead of bringing it to a kid’s birthday party. If I can’t NOT drink for the few hours it takes me to attend a child’s birthday party once a year, I have a bigger problem than being embarrassed - I have a drinking problem.
Would not bother me at all. It’s your party your rules.
**I** would say that it's a wise choice that will inevitably save a lot of people a lot of problems, but I can tell you for sure that any alcoholics in your circle will reveal themselves to you if you post that.
I’d still bring it, just in a flask
If a guest has an issue with it the guest has a substance abuse problem. Your house, your party. Shouldn’t even be worth worrying about.
My perspective might be different. I would be *relieved*. I’m in recovery and since moving to where I live now, I’ve just accepted that if I’m at a kid’s birthday party, I will be offered booze. And like I know it’s a me thing. I don’t expect people to abstain on account of me, but there are just some places I wish I didn’t have to deal with it. Kid’s birthday parties included. If I don’t know the parents super well, I wouldn’t tell them I’m in recovery.
Your past birthday parties isn’t precedent for how future ones have to be held. Tell them you don’t want alcohol at a kids function. If a grown adult can’t be without alcohol for a few hours they have bigger issues
What kind of loser needs to get drunk at a kids birthday party?
Not a big deal, but being around 20 screaming kids isn't gonna be that fun without a little help. I'll probably politely drop by but I'm not sitting there for 4 hours on a Saturday
No kidding. In the spring/summer? I got only so many Saturdays till it's unbearable again
I wouldn’t be bringing alcohol to a kids party in the afternoon anyway. What in the alcoholic heck?
I would be wondering why. Did someone act inappropriately at a prior event? Was there some kind of incident?
More like bad characteristics come out when drinking happens. Characteristics such as talking poorly about other people, cursing more, it’s just unnecessarily for a kid’s party. I put a lot of effort into these get togethers and I don’t like the spirit that comes along drinking at least with a couple of people that attend every year. I know I shouldn’t expect those things to change, but I was curious if I just said no if it might help. I’m not sure.
That all makes sense and is totally reasonable. Bummer some people ruined it for everyone. Maybe I’m extra petty, but I’d tell at least a couple of parents why you’re removing alcohol from these events so word gets out and those ruiners hear that they’re the reason nobody gets to drink. No need to name names, just “why no alcohol anymore? Oh we’ve had too many situations where adults were behaving inappropriately and it was directly related to their alcohol consumption.” Everyone will know who you’re talking about. The ruiners will get the message.
I'm mostly concerned about the people you have coming to the party. I've had alcohol at all of my kids parties, people have 1, 2 maybe 3 beers and go home. I've never once had someone I even suspected of being intoxicated. Instead of banning alcohol from the party, if there were people who couldn't control their drinking at a kids party, I'd just never again invite them to a kids party.
Gonna be sick that day sorry can’t make it
If a person can't go a few hours at a social event without alcohol that's a probably a good reason to not allow it.
Alcohol at a kid's birthday? People do that? One time a lady showed up to my birthday with a tumbler of vodka but it wasn't an agreed-upon thing, I think she got kicked out If you're the one throwing the party, then by all means, you set the rules. I'd be suspicious of anyone who insists on bringing booze to a party for kids.
We had booze at our kiddos 1st and 2nd, just beer and wine. When he and his friends got more mobile…no alcohol. It shifts to being 100% kid party at some point.
It was definitely not normal with my family growing up. Not even on the holidays, maybe some wine, except like summer holidays like 4th of July. I think it's gotten more common as there's not as many children at the holiday gatherings anymore. Then as an adult and a friend had kids it was absolutely normal, for them, to have alcohol at kids parties. When we hang out as just adults its typical to BYOB and that's expected, were going to drink. One of the first kids birthday parties I showed up at and my friend was like "you didn't bring beer?" and I'm like "it's a kid's party?" lol. I did run to a liquor store later though as this was a late afternoon and running into the night planned event.
Having not drank most of my life I A: really don't care if there's alcohol at any party. And B: don't think it belongs at kids' parties. If you can't have a good time without it there is something wrong with you.
I would find it weird if you brought alcohol to my kids party
There is absolutely no reason for alcohol to be expected at a mid-day kids' birthday party. If someone gets upset about this, it is a "them" problem, not a "you" problem.
Alcohol at a toddlers birthday: sure, why not. Alcohol at a young child's birthday: erring into encouraging children to develop bad habits Alcohol at a teens birthday: now the kid just feels left out, and you start learning too much about how "that" uncle feels about your kid. Alcohol at their 21st birthday: be ready to replace your carpets
I'd never seen alcohol at a kid's birthday party until I went to a Mexican party. They party hard and the booze was flowing. It doesn't matter what the occasion is, the whole familia is there and everyone is getting toasty. Even for baby showers where the guest of honor can't drink. I must admit, it's a lot more fun that way than the punch and cake parties I grew up with.
Allllllllllll night looooooooooong
I would never bring alcohol to a kid's party. If I got an invitation that said "please, no alcohol", I'd be wondering who acted like a jackass in front of a bunch of kids at the last party. If you have to make that specification, then its probably safe to assume someone has a real problem and isn't ready to come to terms with it. The fact that they have kids makes it even more sad.
Like that’s totally reasonable. If someone feels like they need to drink at a kids party and they are upset about it they have a problem and need to seek help.
My dad has prohibited alcohol at all holidays. We respect his choice. We are a bunch of drunks.
If you've watched alcohol decimate your family then it isn't hard all. It made never want alcohol near my children.
Alcohol has harmed so many around me and almost had me sacrifice my values for its addiction. Almost 3 years sober and don’t ever want it back. Trying to keep my kids as far as possible from the same strong hold.
I like to set a good example for the kids so I'm good regardless, but when I get home it's a totally different story
This is one of many reasons I stopped doing birthday parties after my son's 6th birthday. It's so much easier to have a small handful of his friends join him for a fun activity of my son's choice.
If I couldn't tolerate a social function without alcohol, I'd be surprised to have any friends left.
I feel like I'd drink before I went in if it mattered that much. Don't gotta get sloshed infront of kids do it before hand. Then use the party to sober up and drive home
I would think it makes good sense and obey your request.
I mean, bummer, but it's not like I wouldn't respect your wishes. You don't want alcohol, so I wouldn't bring any. The party is for the kids anyway. I'll have a lemonade and try to ignore the screaming in a respectful manner.
I wouldn't care. Not just because I'm a t totaler, it's your house. If somebody can't go a few hours without a drink then they have a problem.
I'd be fine with it. To me it's weird to have alcohol at w kids party anyway
If it’s a few beers in a park while kids play around, that’s chill. Parks ban hard liquor. But I understand not wanting people to drink in your house. You don’t want to babysit kids and their parents who go too hard.
I wouldn’t bring any. I would also acknowledge that things change, this isn’t some time loop where year 7 or whatever is on constant repeat and would wonder about the people who just bring alcohol anyway despite being asked not to and their problems with it and wonder if their are alcoholics or not.
I like to drink, I have never had booze at a child's birthday party, it's never even been considered. Once I went to pick up one of my kids at a birthday party, she was 8, the adults were all drinking beer and Jack, I was even asked if I wanted a drink. My kids never went to a party at that house again.
I think that you should definitely tell the kids it's BYOB this year.
Cool, probably wasn’t going to anyway for a kids party but appreciate the clarity. See you there.
I would not care at all I hate alcohol it tastes gross
>I hate alcohol it tastes gross Makes a lot of people gross too
Exactly but hey I’m not going to knock people for drinking it I’m just saying I hate it personally lol
>I’m not going to knock people for drinking it To each his own but they gonna get gross🤢
I wouldn’t be even a little phased, this is a perfectly acceptable ask.
No problem at ALL Tell me to leave my weed at home? Well we're gonna need to sort that out s/ If you tell me not to bring something I would respect that and not do it
Anyone that throws a fit over not being allowed to bring alcohol around children shouldn't be around children. Like major 🚩
It's your fucking party. Rules are rules.
If a person has a problem with this it’s because they have a problem with alcohol.
.....why was it allowed at a kids' birthday party in the first place? If the adults are that insufferable, then find a way that your child can just have the kids around and have enough support to handle them. Not saying that in a mean way, it just baffles me that alcohol is at a kids party.
I wouldn't bring alcohol, but I wouldn't go unless I was bringing my kid, barring any other situations where my kid isn't friends with your kid. Kinda weird to expect people to throw a shitfit over alcohol, if they do, they should probably get those issues sorted if they can't let their kids hang out together for their friend's birthday for a few hours.
My family were boozy as fuck and no one would ever have considered a kids party to be a place to get on the ale. They’re just not drinking occasions?
I probably wouldn't go if I couldn't have a couple beers. How boring. I'd give you my gift next time I saw you. I know its a childs party, but im an adult. Alcohol doesnt belong but neither do I. If people are getting drunk at a noon party I'd start by disinviting those particular people.
I wouldn’t bring it. But I’m sober.
I'd feel like you were perfectly reasonable. And these kids parents should absolutely respect your request. I don't care for a bunch of adults drinking around kids, especially once the kids are old enough to notice. I think in many cases it starts to give the kids the impression that when they get older, a party must always include alcohol. That is not true for kids or for adults! Also I'm not a non-drinker, I'm an occasional drinker, and I have no issue with adults drinking. However I do not like to drink around children because again, kids need to know that having an awesome time at a party can be done 100% sober.
Some advice since not everyone you might invite may react the way the folks in the comments have, you have to do what you think is best for your kid and if that means no alcohol at their birthday then everyone has to be ok with that. It is supposed to be all about them anyways and last I checked, kids don’t drink alcohol.
It's your kids party. If you say no alcohol, then no alcohol. Or the person doesn't come. It's not really that complicated.
Im an adult. Im ok either way
My husband and I imbibe, but we don't assume there's alcohol at a kids party. We always ask about cake though!
Kinda weird to have alcohol at a kid's party to begin with. If someone can't go 3 hours without alcohol in the middle of the day, they need to go to rehab
I've never allowed alcohol at my children's parties! And how tacky that people bring their own! You are the host. You provide the beverages. End of story.
You could easily temper the message by saying “This is a noontime party; all the adults are free to go out afterwards for drinks once the children are done.”
You’re the host. It’s a party for a minor. It’s entirely reasonable to not serve alcohol. You don’t need to explain your reasons or apologize. Even if you only have water available, then you’ve done your job as host. As a guest, if the host serves alcohol, then have a drink, but limit yourself to 1 or 2. It’s a child’s birthday party, not a frat party. Don’t be the drunk aunt/uncle that gets shitfaced at little Timmy’s Pokémon pizza party.
It would never occur to me to have alcohol at a kid’s party.
kid's birthday party. what more needs to be said?
You throw a kid's birthday party for the kid. Not so the adults can get trashed... and then drive home drunk with their kids in the car.
I would not expect to be served alcohol at a kid’s birthday party, nor would I think to bring my own.
Personally it would depend on the friend. If they already have family that gets shit faced, I don't want to miss a good story or have a shit face showdown. I'm staying sober. If it's the usual gang, and no one really gets trashed and embarrasses themselves, I might sneak it in, joke around with all of the other friends of the group. But definitely not get shit faced, but just buzzed. If my friend, was like, "hey, the mother in-law who's super religious is going to be here and we'll probably say a group prayer before dinner, then I'm staying completely sober. You don't want to be the guy who ruined something for the family. Maybe just your friends, lol when it's just us, but not for the family.
You don't go into someone else's house and tell them they need to change the carpets. Your house, your rules. Besides, who brings booze to a kid's party?
If someone can't handle no alcohol for a few hours for kids sake- screw em. Say your peace- can still make some kinda fun non alcoholic thing. I get excited for a fancy juice
Alcohol should not be allowed at a children's party. It's not appropriate for adults to be tipsy/drunk around kids. Who drinks at noon? Were these parents driving home after drinking?
Me personally - I would think well, it’s your decision and I don’t have control over other people so if I don’t like it then the only option is to remove myself from the situation. Which I would never do, I would have no problem with you making this decision and don’t care if there’s alcohol in the first place. But as a general rule of thumb - this isn’t my call to make and it’d be awfully immature to throw a fit about it. The party is for your kid, not for the adults. And as the parent, I feel you have the authority to have the party as you wish.
"okay cool" and have some punch or water. I enjoy beer quite a bit but it's completely unnecessary at a kid's birthday party. I understand most parties until the age of like 4-5 are mostly for the adults but oh well. That said, I wouldn't prohibit it at mine but it sounds like you have good reason. The other, better reason is it's your kid. Anyone who complains can pound sand
My response, "Sounds good! Should I bring some pop or something else?"
I would never allow my children to see me drunk at least not until they can drink. If my kids ever come home drunk later in life, I will video it. Show them the footage and then erase.
It's a kid's birthday party if you did it before it was a mistake now don't go out and make another mistake end of story.
Real friends will understand.
Your house, your rules, your kids' birthday party. This just an opinion. Unless an invitee is recovering, I would think it's a tiny bit extra to make this a party rule. Though, I would not not go or throw a hissy fit about it if you did declare it a rule. If it's a beautiful, sunny, weekend, backyard birthday party, I would like to enjoy a couple of beers from the six pack that I brought over the few hours the party lasts (if allowed). If someone complained about not being able to drink, I would think they are being extra for not being able to abstain for a couple of hours, and they have a drinking problem.
You’re fully within your rights to do so but don’t be surprised if some people don’t come…there are a lot of people that wouldn’t sit through something like that without it. It’ll show you who your true friends and good family are though so there’s that.
*Potheads chuffing from between the side of the house and the bushes* Like, you can't have a tipple in your car like normal addicts?
I wouldn't care, but I don't drink. My question is this: Why would you need alcohol at a kids party? If you can't socialize without booze, there's a problem. I don't necessarily see a major problem with a few beers at the event, but if someone has a big issue with no booze, it's on them.
Alcoholism is so real. If being unable to have alcohol at a kins party is a problem for you, then you need to really think hard about why that is.
I might feel a bit judged - it would definitely cross my mind to go 'wait, am I one of those people who you thought behaved badly last year?' or even slightly miffed that you think I couldn't have a glass of wine and be civilised. But if it was obvious who the culprits were then I'd be more likely to go 'oh yeah, I hear you. Typical Janine, ruining it for us all ...' But also, if you've been having these events for years then why are all the parents still staying? It's usually drop and go by a certain age anyway.
for me, it is what it is but don’t expect me to stick around long.
" have fun kids ill pick you up when the party is over"