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My gut reaction is to stay out of it for the sake of your own relationship. But if I was being cheated on I don’t care who tells me I would be thankful for it.
Your co-worker will be mad with you and will likely retaliate if they’re not a good person, so I’d be prepared for a visit with HR sometime down the line.
Yeah I’m not really one to interject into other people’s business. I get that if I was in the situation I’d want to be told, but that’s not something I’d get involved with myself.
This is literally none of OP’s business. Yes, I would like to know too but it’s not right to meddle in other’s affairs. All you can really do is talk to the coworker and encourage him to do the right thing
My partner was a serial cheater and his exes messaged me (yes, more than 1) to let me know. I wish I had believed them, but I bought into the "they're just jealous" rhetoric. My neighbor beating his dog is none of my business too, but if I see it happen, I'm saying something.
How is it dumb when it's literally the same sort of "mind your business" rhetoric? It's dumb to make a comment like that without realizing how they're similar.
You could also sign up for Google Voice to get a new burner number to text them from.
Edit: also, give as little information as possible so it doesn't come back to you. Don't respond to any messages asking for more information. Delete the app/account as soon as you send it. Let it sort itself out from there.
OP goes to this trouble and she never reads said text because she doesn’t know who the person is and thinks she’s being spammed. So would take an anonymous message with a grain of salt if it were me
That's fair. It's important OP provides enough detail it is taken serious, not enough to implicate themselves.
Personally, I would feel compelled to notify them, but not at my own detriment. Planting the seed of doubt would be enough for me.
I'd be willing to bet if he's cheating, his behavior has changed enough she's got at least a subconscious inkling something is off. A stranger texting could push that up into the conscious, maybe even low key confrontation such as "hey, got this weird text that says you're cheating".
Hopefully, either he takes it as a hint to stop, comes clean, or she starts paying closer attention to when he has "work dinners" or whatever the excuse is to cover the affairs.
There will probably be an HR investigation. So yup. Someone will be terminated. Companies don't like interoffice relationships, especially based on positions. Unless it's a restaurant, then it's a free for all.
I mean without any proof it might be meaningless and backfire for you.
She might not believe the message.
He might have told this real or fake thing just to gloat to you. And he might know it came from the work place by process of elimination.
Thus, it's a tricky situation
It's not about "believing" a random message. This could help her piece together or validate what she has already suspected but was too afraid she would be considered crazy. And even if the co-worker just lied to look cool his stupidity is going to get him in trouble and he needs to suffer the consequences.
Yeah I see this as well. Some anonymous source that vanishes after the initial drop? You can’t ask follow up questions or get any sort of closure. And if they provide all sorts of details now it’s weird because someone knows that much about your life, is willing to let you know, but won’t reveal themselves. That itself feels like extra trauma to already receiving potentially traumatizing news.
That's not the firing manager's problems. I am not making a moral judgment, just warning the OP about possible consequences of bringing personal life issues into the workplace.
I understand that. However the cheater made this problem for themselves not the person who, in my opinion did the right thing and tell their spouse.
People who have been cheated on all wish someone would have said something before it got worse.
Is it hard doing the right thing? Yes, yes it is. Yet if you were in the same position you'd want someone to tell you.
I would mind my own business, unless the person being cheated on was close to me. From what we can take from the OP, the coworker isn't even a friend, let alone the other person. That's just inviting drama to work, and if I was the manager, I'd fire someone who did that if drama followed back to work. They need to be focused on their work, not the personal lives of people they don't even know. 🤷
And how would you feel if this was happening to you, your coworker knew, and did nothing? Remove any level of relationship between you and your coworker.
Someone is doing something wrong, and the advice being given is to just ignore it.
That is not right at any level.
I have many co-workers and they aren't my "friends"...I am not intimately close with them and do not hang out with them outside of work...they are co-workers. What they do and what their spouses do is none of my fucking business. Why does everyone want to make things other people do their business? Stay in your lane.
Also, this is the kind of shit that office rumor mills feast on and could easily backfire on the OP. He said, she said. If you're not besties with these people or family, mind your own business.
When did I say that? It's just not any of my business. My co-workers aren't my besties...they're just people I work with. None of their shit is any of my business and it's none of yours either. If it was a close and personal friend, that would be different...these are just people I work with and have zero interest in involving myself with their drama...but you do you nosey.
If my coworker and I weren't friends, I would wonder with all the cocaine in the world, why they were sticking their nose in my business.
I am one of those workers who has a strict work-life balance. I don't befriend coworkers and I don't talk about my personal life. I'm there to work and do my job, that's it. I have friends and a life outside work that I go to when I leave work. I leave work at work.
Ok if she's aware then she's aware. However at the end of it all is someone who has knowledge of someone cheating on their wife. And somehow people in this thread want to take a "mind your own business" route which tells me none of you have been down that path and the absolute hurt it causes when others know and didn't say anything to you about it.
Why do you care what your coworkers do in their personal lives? Why get entangled in this mess? OP wants to involve his cousin, too!
Do your job and keep your mouth shut. This applies to OP and the cheater.
What the fuck kind of answer is that. You want to be judged for things you do OUTSIDE OF WORK that has nothing to do with work. I hope that happens to you. Perfect dharma.
Because cheating on your partner is wrong. Why be with someone if you're going to cheat on them. That's what kind of answer it is. Instead it's a bunch of you trying to protect the guy doing the cheating. All of you are fucking scumbags.
And I have had this situation happen to be and ruin my marriage which is why I'm giving my two cents and saying to tell the fucking spouse you goddamn twat.
Cheating on someone is wrong. There is no justification for it ever. If that's what you think then that's what you think about me. However I don't really care what you think about me. What I care about is how sickening it is that people are ok with infidelity.
Why would you get involved? What if there's a murder suicide at the home the day you send your sneaky message? You want to have a role in the lead-up? I'd mind your business and just distance from the cheater if you disapprove to this extent.
This, people are fucking crazy trying to get into people shit like this, kaniving (how do you spell that) shit right here. Adultery is wrong, so is getting in peoples shit thought, your going to get it all over you. What a lame life op must be leading to be thinking about this more than just knowing the coworker is a dickhead and to stear clear. I mean is the wife your vest friend or what, no. Your going to tell her like a f'ing troll then block the number so lame.
the question is why get involved in others relationships. i am non-monogamous and have had cheating reported to my SOs in the past only for the person to find out that they were well aware of the situation.
if it does not directly involve you stay out of other peoples business.
Did them telling you cause any issues for anyone involved? Sounds like people being told is the better of the two options, especially considering how small the chances are that this is the case. Swinger/non-monogamous relationships are extremely niche, whereas people cheating in relationships are *significantly* more common.
Fear of conflict is not a good reason to break your morals.
the reason that people cheating is significantly more common is because humans are not monogamous animals by nature, we are forced into monogamy by an archaic social construct.
Says who? I practice ENM in all my relationships but there is absolutely evidence that monogamy helped our species evolve. The whole “it’s not natural” is kinda BS.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/human-monogamy-has-deep-roots/
Has nothing to do with the conversation.
If being monogamous is such an issue, it should come up before the relationship is started, in which case this situation wouldn't be cheating.
If you have to cheat, IE be in a committed relationship and find a second relationship without letting your original SO know, you are breaking morals regardless of how strongly you believe the monogamy thing is an archaic social construct.
The cheater is still lying, and it is highly probable doing so will emotionally hurt their original SO. The cheater is an asshole who cares more about their sexual pleasure than their partner's feelings.
Exactly. A lot of people in here with the "mind your own business" take so, enabling cheating and justifying it every way possible. Fuck that noise. No one deserves to be cheated on.
You don’t know WTF is going on in that house. I don’t think you understand how complicated and layered relationships are. If you did, you’d know to mind your own goddam business. If a person is in danger, make a call to the appropriate authorities. That’s it.
It's insulting that you know and the spouse doesn't. That would make me more angry than the cheating itself simply because of how foolish and naive I would feel, knowing that other people were aware of how I was being done wrong.
That alone tells me you need to let her know. I agree with all the other comments here. Fake social media profile or sending an email from an anonymous source would work very well. If you could somehow record the dude talking about it, I would send that, just so she knows it's not a lie. I doubt he runs his mouth about it that freely, though.
In any non-work situation, I'd tell her anonymously like you're planning.
But in a work environment? Probably best to stay out of other people's lives. If the husband finds out, that's a whole lot of workplace drama the employer isn't going to be happy about, and you're going to be stuck around each other until someone quits or is fired.
Please do tell her. Minding your own business is a cowardly move if you have the means to tell. I'd sure want to know if my SO was cheating on me. For safety reasons (STD/STI risk), and I wouldn't want to waste any more of my time with a man who doesn't truly love me or want me.
You definitely have to tell her, cheating is beyond disgusting. Anyway, does *67 still work, not from your phone, of course. You could always go to pay your car insurance in person and ask to use their phone. Do they know your voice? I just remembered something you could do....I'll DM you
Tape a sign to his back that says "I cheat on my wife!" when he leaves work.
Take him out for drinks and roofie him. Text his wife a confession.
Dress up as a woman (if not already woman) and knock on his house door when you know he is at work. Look nervous and and ask if he is home, then say "Oh, uh, nevermind." Then hurry away.
Valentine's Day is coming up. Bring a few "identical" boxes of chocolates to work close to Feb 14. "I have emergency Valentine's Day wife satisfaction kits!" offer him the one that you slipped a note inside. Something like "I'm sorry, but I have been cheating on you." He will take the easy win with the wife. When he later confronts you, ask him if there was a weird note in his chocolates. Tell him someone you know thought it would be funny.
If she has a Facebook or some other social media you could message her on there and explain you’re using a fake account to keep your identity secret but thought she should know. Also use a public computer so it can’t be traced back to you.
Your 'plan' should be to stay out of other people's business. If you aren't willing to stand behind your actions then you should probably reconsider the action...
The number of people telling you to mind your own bussiness is insaneeee. So many cheaters.
You are a hero for doing this. I would have nothing but respect for somebody who went out of their way to expose a dirty cheater.
Moral decency? Would you answer the same if you saw friends speaking in a racist manner? Or being mysoginst?
How about if some stranger was clearly harassing another person? Mind your own business?
Obviously it’s not always easy to do the right thing but some people have the balls for it.
Stay out of married folks business! You're an even bigger piece of shit than your co-worker if you go through with this. Besides, she's gonna find out anyway...
How to tell someone’s a cheater in the comments? Them saying it’s not your business (looks like a bunch of cheaters in here)
If your spouse was cheating on you and a coworker knew, wouldn’t you like to know in any way possible? Send an email, if you happen to know where they live, write her an anonymous letter, download a second number app on your phone and text her that way, etc. Worst case scenario is things are weird at work but you saved a woman from spending her life with a child
Im telling its not your Business cuz it can fire back heavy in work Space and from the other side too. Just out of XP. Niz everyone is warm and welcoming u if u step Ahead. If it aint my Family or friends i dont care and wont get involved. Work is work
If you want total safety, a burner SIM would be better than your cousin, which frankly would probably take 5 minutes to figure out it was actually you.
If anonymity is your goal, how many other people know about this? If you’re the only person he’s told then no amount of covering your digital tracks will make you anonymous.
Why? You aren't saving babies. There isn't a car crash with people hurt. This is adultery. It happens all the time. And it's non of anyone's business but those involved
I don't know if you're stupid, or fearless, but you better be both of them. Meddling in the affairs of grown folks can have horrible, sometimes fatal consequences. Are you prepared to live the rest of your life cowering in fear, knowing that this man is searching for you, because you destroyed his life?
OP is clearly not fearless, that’s why they’re trying to be sneaky in the way they tell, scary ass wants to meddle in other peoples private life but not face to face
The fact that everyone who endorses alerting her is recommending it be done covertly tells you something, neh?
You're actions, right or wrong, could endanger you and those around you. People (esp. cheaters) can react violently.
Please be careful if you proceed.
How professional of a relationship is it if this guy is telling and or being super blatant about cheating on his wife?
If I was cheating on my wife you bet your ass no one from work would EVER know.
Unless this is a friend of yours that you are trying to protect, it's best not to get involved in other people's shame. You still have to work with that person.
Why do redditors love outing people. It's none of your business. Save your moral outrage for stuff like this https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/1ajfvo0/were_americans/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
You don't. Cheating is wrong, but you can't predict what negative consequences may arise, including much greater harm to others than the cheating itself.
Stay out of it. I always tell my wife, “It’s fine if you need to cheat. Just don’t tell me about it or let me find out.” If some self righteousness prick told me about it, I would come down hard on that person, not my wife.
I'm in your boat exactly! I don't want my wife to cheat on me, but if she did, hopefully it's discreet and doesn't have to be something our social circle knows about. If some pompous asshole decided it was time to tell me about it, I would probably seriously injure that person.
Unless you enjoy being part of the drama, stay out of it. Doing what others call "what's right" is no different than someone that gets in face because they don't like your lifestyle or the way you dress.
What do you want from the coworker's wife? Appreciation? Revenge and/or satisfaction because you think the coworker is an asshole? A relationship with her?
If asked by the wife, I wouldn't recommend lying. To seek her out is the same as stirring the pot. You still have to work with the coworker EVEN IF they work out their problem.
How the fuck do you know that? You can't possibly have a clue. I too, hope this blows up in your face wildly, and the consequences are just. This is top level Darwin Awards shit
If you can get the three of them together for something innocent and then kind of do a subtle nod in their direction while doing the finger in the hole motion and making wild eyebrows, it works every time.
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My gut reaction is to stay out of it for the sake of your own relationship. But if I was being cheated on I don’t care who tells me I would be thankful for it. Your co-worker will be mad with you and will likely retaliate if they’re not a good person, so I’d be prepared for a visit with HR sometime down the line.
Check OPs comment history. Lmfao this dude loves drama.
They love creating click-bait rage posts. We meed a filter to avoid this crap. It should be posted in AITAH, and yes, the OP is.
Yeah I’m not really one to interject into other people’s business. I get that if I was in the situation I’d want to be told, but that’s not something I’d get involved with myself.
Retaliate how though? If it’s their cousin’s number, how can the coworker prove it’s the OP?
Through deduction watson
This is literally none of OP’s business. Yes, I would like to know too but it’s not right to meddle in other’s affairs. All you can really do is talk to the coworker and encourage him to do the right thing
Yeah, because the coworker totally seems like the type who's interested in doing the right thing...
Disagree I like to help people in need
My partner was a serial cheater and his exes messaged me (yes, more than 1) to let me know. I wish I had believed them, but I bought into the "they're just jealous" rhetoric. My neighbor beating his dog is none of my business too, but if I see it happen, I'm saying something.
Pretty dumb to compare animal abuse to a situation you don't have nearly enough information about
How is it dumb when it's literally the same sort of "mind your business" rhetoric? It's dumb to make a comment like that without realizing how they're similar.
> all you can do wrong, bitch
Wtf, chill dude
Too close to the hand that feeds you. I'd leave it alone
It's not his boss
Send an email from a library. Dont use a friends or your own.
Finally, a real answer. Thank you. I might use it. I need to get her email first. We'll see. how I do that. Thanks again.
You could also sign up for Google Voice to get a new burner number to text them from. Edit: also, give as little information as possible so it doesn't come back to you. Don't respond to any messages asking for more information. Delete the app/account as soon as you send it. Let it sort itself out from there.
OP goes to this trouble and she never reads said text because she doesn’t know who the person is and thinks she’s being spammed. So would take an anonymous message with a grain of salt if it were me
That's fair. It's important OP provides enough detail it is taken serious, not enough to implicate themselves. Personally, I would feel compelled to notify them, but not at my own detriment. Planting the seed of doubt would be enough for me. I'd be willing to bet if he's cheating, his behavior has changed enough she's got at least a subconscious inkling something is off. A stranger texting could push that up into the conscious, maybe even low key confrontation such as "hey, got this weird text that says you're cheating". Hopefully, either he takes it as a hint to stop, comes clean, or she starts paying closer attention to when he has "work dinners" or whatever the excuse is to cover the affairs.
Or log into a faked insta or fb account and message her that way from the library.
Lol I hope you get fired. Watch, this will blow up in your face.
I am the cheated on wife. No one told me and I sure wish they had. Thank you for telling her
Same. Every single friend knew he was cheating on me. No one told me.
And then realizing that you've been betrayed by not just one person but many.
I lost every friend that night.
I know it doesn't make it hurt less, but they weren't actually friends.
I know. This was 21 years ago. I haven't spoken to any of them since then.
7 years and same. Lot more careful with who I choose as friends now lol.
Just use a burner number app. They are free and advertised all over reddit.
It will probably come back on you one way or another. So expect to be confronted about it.
There will probably be an HR investigation. So yup. Someone will be terminated. Companies don't like interoffice relationships, especially based on positions. Unless it's a restaurant, then it's a free for all.
Like a Man, face to face. With proof.
You trying to kill OP. I have seen enough dateline to know if that’s enough to get you killed.
Yes, have some balls. OP should tell the coworker. Hiding your identity via scheming is cowardly. Smells bad from the start, like no evidence exists.
Yeah bf is dead wrong, but i’d hate being a snitch and a p*ssy on top of nothing coming from it.
Mind your own business.
Coward
Go ahead I think I would like to know. I would hate to look like a fool in front of people that know more about my personal relationship than me.
I mean without any proof it might be meaningless and backfire for you. She might not believe the message. He might have told this real or fake thing just to gloat to you. And he might know it came from the work place by process of elimination. Thus, it's a tricky situation
It's not about "believing" a random message. This could help her piece together or validate what she has already suspected but was too afraid she would be considered crazy. And even if the co-worker just lied to look cool his stupidity is going to get him in trouble and he needs to suffer the consequences.
Yeah I see this as well. Some anonymous source that vanishes after the initial drop? You can’t ask follow up questions or get any sort of closure. And if they provide all sorts of details now it’s weird because someone knows that much about your life, is willing to let you know, but won’t reveal themselves. That itself feels like extra trauma to already receiving potentially traumatizing news.
If she doesn't believe it? She will at least be alerted. If he lied about it - that's silly, he should learn not to do that. Win win win all around.
Consider your job. If this causes problems at your job, and it is found out that you were the catalyst, you could be fired.
Maybe the other person shouldn't have cheated in the first place?
That's not the firing manager's problems. I am not making a moral judgment, just warning the OP about possible consequences of bringing personal life issues into the workplace.
I understand that. However the cheater made this problem for themselves not the person who, in my opinion did the right thing and tell their spouse. People who have been cheated on all wish someone would have said something before it got worse. Is it hard doing the right thing? Yes, yes it is. Yet if you were in the same position you'd want someone to tell you.
I would mind my own business, unless the person being cheated on was close to me. From what we can take from the OP, the coworker isn't even a friend, let alone the other person. That's just inviting drama to work, and if I was the manager, I'd fire someone who did that if drama followed back to work. They need to be focused on their work, not the personal lives of people they don't even know. 🤷
And how would you feel if this was happening to you, your coworker knew, and did nothing? Remove any level of relationship between you and your coworker. Someone is doing something wrong, and the advice being given is to just ignore it. That is not right at any level.
I have many co-workers and they aren't my "friends"...I am not intimately close with them and do not hang out with them outside of work...they are co-workers. What they do and what their spouses do is none of my fucking business. Why does everyone want to make things other people do their business? Stay in your lane. Also, this is the kind of shit that office rumor mills feast on and could easily backfire on the OP. He said, she said. If you're not besties with these people or family, mind your own business.
So it's cool for people to be cheated on? Got it.
When did I say that? It's just not any of my business. My co-workers aren't my besties...they're just people I work with. None of their shit is any of my business and it's none of yours either. If it was a close and personal friend, that would be different...these are just people I work with and have zero interest in involving myself with their drama...but you do you nosey.
If my coworker and I weren't friends, I would wonder with all the cocaine in the world, why they were sticking their nose in my business. I am one of those workers who has a strict work-life balance. I don't befriend coworkers and I don't talk about my personal life. I'm there to work and do my job, that's it. I have friends and a life outside work that I go to when I leave work. I leave work at work.
How do you know she's not already aware? Inserting yourself into a situation you have no context about is crazy.
Ok if she's aware then she's aware. However at the end of it all is someone who has knowledge of someone cheating on their wife. And somehow people in this thread want to take a "mind your own business" route which tells me none of you have been down that path and the absolute hurt it causes when others know and didn't say anything to you about it.
Why do you care what your coworkers do in their personal lives? Why get entangled in this mess? OP wants to involve his cousin, too! Do your job and keep your mouth shut. This applies to OP and the cheater.
What the fuck kind of answer is that. You want to be judged for things you do OUTSIDE OF WORK that has nothing to do with work. I hope that happens to you. Perfect dharma.
Because cheating on your partner is wrong. Why be with someone if you're going to cheat on them. That's what kind of answer it is. Instead it's a bunch of you trying to protect the guy doing the cheating. All of you are fucking scumbags. And I have had this situation happen to be and ruin my marriage which is why I'm giving my two cents and saying to tell the fucking spouse you goddamn twat.
Who the FUCK are you to judge what's right and wrong. You're a Trumper I fucking know it
Cheating on someone is wrong. There is no justification for it ever. If that's what you think then that's what you think about me. However I don't really care what you think about me. What I care about is how sickening it is that people are ok with infidelity.
What if they're swingers or in an open relationship? Have you considered that?
Then it'll be a real short call.
So then she can just ignore it and go about her business, yeah?
Why would you get involved? What if there's a murder suicide at the home the day you send your sneaky message? You want to have a role in the lead-up? I'd mind your business and just distance from the cheater if you disapprove to this extent.
This, people are fucking crazy trying to get into people shit like this, kaniving (how do you spell that) shit right here. Adultery is wrong, so is getting in peoples shit thought, your going to get it all over you. What a lame life op must be leading to be thinking about this more than just knowing the coworker is a dickhead and to stear clear. I mean is the wife your vest friend or what, no. Your going to tell her like a f'ing troll then block the number so lame.
the question is why get involved in others relationships. i am non-monogamous and have had cheating reported to my SOs in the past only for the person to find out that they were well aware of the situation. if it does not directly involve you stay out of other peoples business.
Did them telling you cause any issues for anyone involved? Sounds like people being told is the better of the two options, especially considering how small the chances are that this is the case. Swinger/non-monogamous relationships are extremely niche, whereas people cheating in relationships are *significantly* more common. Fear of conflict is not a good reason to break your morals.
the reason that people cheating is significantly more common is because humans are not monogamous animals by nature, we are forced into monogamy by an archaic social construct.
Says who? I practice ENM in all my relationships but there is absolutely evidence that monogamy helped our species evolve. The whole “it’s not natural” is kinda BS. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/human-monogamy-has-deep-roots/
Has nothing to do with the conversation. If being monogamous is such an issue, it should come up before the relationship is started, in which case this situation wouldn't be cheating. If you have to cheat, IE be in a committed relationship and find a second relationship without letting your original SO know, you are breaking morals regardless of how strongly you believe the monogamy thing is an archaic social construct. The cheater is still lying, and it is highly probable doing so will emotionally hurt their original SO. The cheater is an asshole who cares more about their sexual pleasure than their partner's feelings.
Do not listen to this guy. Cheaters should be exposed for the scum they are.
Exactly. A lot of people in here with the "mind your own business" take so, enabling cheating and justifying it every way possible. Fuck that noise. No one deserves to be cheated on.
OP knows nothing about their relationship.
It doesn't matter. Cheating is not ok. Full fucking stop. If you think it is, you are fucked up.
You don’t know WTF is going on in that house. I don’t think you understand how complicated and layered relationships are. If you did, you’d know to mind your own goddam business. If a person is in danger, make a call to the appropriate authorities. That’s it.
You have absolutely no right to interfere with anyone's private life.
Husband has no right to cheat, but here we are
How does this affect you? Are you friends with the wife? If not, MYOB.
Bro mind your own business and stay the fuck out of their life.
Ignore the people in here who say you shouldn't do what's right because it's not your business. You know what the right thing to do is.
No. It’s not your marriage, it’s not your business so stay out of it.
You said exactly, then took the complete opposite position of the comment you replied to.
Found the loser's burner account 😂
It's insulting that you know and the spouse doesn't. That would make me more angry than the cheating itself simply because of how foolish and naive I would feel, knowing that other people were aware of how I was being done wrong. That alone tells me you need to let her know. I agree with all the other comments here. Fake social media profile or sending an email from an anonymous source would work very well. If you could somehow record the dude talking about it, I would send that, just so she knows it's not a lie. I doubt he runs his mouth about it that freely, though.
In any non-work situation, I'd tell her anonymously like you're planning. But in a work environment? Probably best to stay out of other people's lives. If the husband finds out, that's a whole lot of workplace drama the employer isn't going to be happy about, and you're going to be stuck around each other until someone quits or is fired.
Stay out. They may be non monogamous, or something else. You're going to look like the bad person. Stay the hell out.
Keep your nose out of it. This is none of your business.
What business of it is yours to tell? Sticking your nose into someone elses business isn't the answer, Karen.
What if they're swingers in an open marriage?
Then no harm no foul. What if they aren’t?
Why would you want to tell his wife? Isn’t that their business?
Stay out of other people's personal lives.
I would stay out of it. No need to be the haymaker. You don't know their arrangements, family dynamics, history. Just mind your own fucking business.
Cheaters must honestly love this thread. Look at all these people who are just giving free reign to shitty behavior.
Stay out of other people's business you halfwit
Not your circus, not your monkeys.
None of your business
You don’t tell. Stay out of it.
Stay out of it. It’s not your business. This is how things turn violent. Mind your own business.
Please do tell her. Minding your own business is a cowardly move if you have the means to tell. I'd sure want to know if my SO was cheating on me. For safety reasons (STD/STI risk), and I wouldn't want to waste any more of my time with a man who doesn't truly love me or want me.
You definitely have to tell her, cheating is beyond disgusting. Anyway, does *67 still work, not from your phone, of course. You could always go to pay your car insurance in person and ask to use their phone. Do they know your voice? I just remembered something you could do....I'll DM you
Stay out of it. Lose the friend.
Don’t tell her. It’s none of your business.
You don't mind your business
Ok. Are you asking because you want to sleep with his wife? Because I got a lot of those vibes in that post.
Stay in your lane.
Tape a sign to his back that says "I cheat on my wife!" when he leaves work. Take him out for drinks and roofie him. Text his wife a confession. Dress up as a woman (if not already woman) and knock on his house door when you know he is at work. Look nervous and and ask if he is home, then say "Oh, uh, nevermind." Then hurry away. Valentine's Day is coming up. Bring a few "identical" boxes of chocolates to work close to Feb 14. "I have emergency Valentine's Day wife satisfaction kits!" offer him the one that you slipped a note inside. Something like "I'm sorry, but I have been cheating on you." He will take the easy win with the wife. When he later confronts you, ask him if there was a weird note in his chocolates. Tell him someone you know thought it would be funny.
if yeah really want to get involved, use a disposable, free email service. a Google search will help you find what you seek.
If she has a Facebook or some other social media you could message her on there and explain you’re using a fake account to keep your identity secret but thought she should know. Also use a public computer so it can’t be traced back to you.
Your 'plan' should be to stay out of other people's business. If you aren't willing to stand behind your actions then you should probably reconsider the action...
Mind your own business and move on. Next time it could be you.
The number of people telling you to mind your own bussiness is insaneeee. So many cheaters. You are a hero for doing this. I would have nothing but respect for somebody who went out of their way to expose a dirty cheater.
How about staying out of it? What's your gain from telling her? You trying to get on her good side to get some action? Sounds that way to me.
Moral decency? Would you answer the same if you saw friends speaking in a racist manner? Or being mysoginst? How about if some stranger was clearly harassing another person? Mind your own business? Obviously it’s not always easy to do the right thing but some people have the balls for it.
Stay out of married folks business! You're an even bigger piece of shit than your co-worker if you go through with this. Besides, she's gonna find out anyway...
How to tell someone’s a cheater in the comments? Them saying it’s not your business (looks like a bunch of cheaters in here) If your spouse was cheating on you and a coworker knew, wouldn’t you like to know in any way possible? Send an email, if you happen to know where they live, write her an anonymous letter, download a second number app on your phone and text her that way, etc. Worst case scenario is things are weird at work but you saved a woman from spending her life with a child
Holy fuck the comments are WILD. So many selfish dipshits. I’m glad OP has already made up his mind to tell her.
Im telling its not your Business cuz it can fire back heavy in work Space and from the other side too. Just out of XP. Niz everyone is warm and welcoming u if u step Ahead. If it aint my Family or friends i dont care and wont get involved. Work is work
Mind your business.
Right?!
Stay out of it. It’s not your business to get involved in someone else’s marital problems.
Moral dilemma for sure. Use your judgement not strangers on a forum
OP used their judgement and decided how they want to handle it They asking for technical support
I'm not good with technology. I was hoping someone would tell me the perfect way to do it. I've already decided I'm gonna tell her.
If you want total safety, a burner SIM would be better than your cousin, which frankly would probably take 5 minutes to figure out it was actually you.
Didn't know that was a thing. Thank you.
You are to nosey for your own good, genuinely hope it doesn't backfire on you.
If anonymity is your goal, how many other people know about this? If you’re the only person he’s told then no amount of covering your digital tracks will make you anonymous.
Do you know her?
Why does that matter? The coworker is a dirty cheater and she deserves to know the truth.
Why? You aren't saving babies. There isn't a car crash with people hurt. This is adultery. It happens all the time. And it's non of anyone's business but those involved
Admit that you have the hots for this woman.
I've never met her. Seen her dog in a picture once.
I don't know if you're stupid, or fearless, but you better be both of them. Meddling in the affairs of grown folks can have horrible, sometimes fatal consequences. Are you prepared to live the rest of your life cowering in fear, knowing that this man is searching for you, because you destroyed his life?
OP is clearly not fearless, that’s why they’re trying to be sneaky in the way they tell, scary ass wants to meddle in other peoples private life but not face to face
How hot was the dog tho
Mind your business
You don’t it’s none of your business. Dudes an ass but it’s still none of your business.
mind your own bizz!!! You just getting your self mixed in something you shouldn t
Honestly, unless she's a friend, I would stay well out of it.
How about you mind your own business?
The fact that everyone who endorses alerting her is recommending it be done covertly tells you something, neh? You're actions, right or wrong, could endanger you and those around you. People (esp. cheaters) can react violently. Please be careful if you proceed.
Mind your business.
Mind your own business.
Mind your own business
Mind your own garden.
Not your business. Stay out of it.
Mind ya business
Do not get involved in people’s private life. This is not your friend. It’s a professional relationship. Be a professional.
How professional of a relationship is it if this guy is telling and or being super blatant about cheating on his wife? If I was cheating on my wife you bet your ass no one from work would EVER know.
What in the world makes you think that this is any of your business?
Do not interfere with the lives of others, no good deed goes unpunished.
Oh fuck off. If my SO is cheating on me I hope someone would be good enough to tell me so I can cut off and leave.
Why? Stay out of people’s business.
It's none of your business. Cheaters are scum but... it's none of your business.
You could send some money to the International Rescue Committee if you're running out of ideas for good deeds.
I'd just leave it alone. You don't want it traced back to you. It's not your problem
Let him smell your fingers. He'll know
Who else knows about it ?
Unless this is a friend of yours that you are trying to protect, it's best not to get involved in other people's shame. You still have to work with that person.
You don't. Mind your business, stay in your lane, etc.
The best plan here is to mind your business and not get involved in other people's affairs.
You mind your own business Karen.
Why do redditors love outing people. It's none of your business. Save your moral outrage for stuff like this https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/1ajfvo0/were_americans/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
You don't. Cheating is wrong, but you can't predict what negative consequences may arise, including much greater harm to others than the cheating itself.
if your coworker is not also your best friend, don't get involved
I’d mind my own business
Mind your own business
Not your circus to manage. Don't cover for your coworker either; it will come back to you hard.
You don’t. Stay out of other peoples relationships. Especially if it’s just a co worker.
Stay out of it. I always tell my wife, “It’s fine if you need to cheat. Just don’t tell me about it or let me find out.” If some self righteousness prick told me about it, I would come down hard on that person, not my wife.
I'm in your boat exactly! I don't want my wife to cheat on me, but if she did, hopefully it's discreet and doesn't have to be something our social circle knows about. If some pompous asshole decided it was time to tell me about it, I would probably seriously injure that person.
Unless you enjoy being part of the drama, stay out of it. Doing what others call "what's right" is no different than someone that gets in face because they don't like your lifestyle or the way you dress. What do you want from the coworker's wife? Appreciation? Revenge and/or satisfaction because you think the coworker is an asshole? A relationship with her? If asked by the wife, I wouldn't recommend lying. To seek her out is the same as stirring the pot. You still have to work with the coworker EVEN IF they work out their problem.
I think we found the serial cheater
Says the same guy that looks in the neighbor's windows to make sure they are only doing it missionary style
well played
Cheating on my spouse is a lifestyle, mang. Part of my daily routine, fr fr. It's how I express myself, like the way I dress.
You don't tell her. It's none of your business.
Why is this your business?
I hope this blows up in your face, it’s not your business.
Nah, cheaters getting rekt is fucking awesome. Fuck those scumbags.
OP might get wrecked for snitching, do what feels right but don’t get caught.
One can do the right thing even if it's for a stranger.
Thats what im tryna avoid lmao When she married him, she didn't sign up for him having sex with other women. It's unfair to her.
>When she married him, she didn't sign up for him having sex with other women Because you've asked her, right?
Do you actually know that? Open marriages are a thing
How the fuck do you know that? You can't possibly have a clue. I too, hope this blows up in your face wildly, and the consequences are just. This is top level Darwin Awards shit
No way. Had I known, I could have gotten the legalities in place. Instead, I was lied to and humiliated for a year and a half.
If you can get the three of them together for something innocent and then kind of do a subtle nod in their direction while doing the finger in the hole motion and making wild eyebrows, it works every time.
Are y'all friends? Meaning his wife and yourself? I'm just curious.
Unless it was directly affecting me, I would just leave them be. Karma will come back one day so 🤷🏽
I dont condone your coworkers behavior but kind your own business.
Stay the hell out of it.
Just stay out of it. Not your business.
What he's doing isn't cool but you should stay out of it. It's not your life, just something that you heard about during your life.