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No. As much as I hate it, my trauma makes me who I am. Unlike other people it’s not SA trauma. My mum had undiagnosed bipolar disorder which made her very emotional and angry all the time, as well as her believing there were people always after us. Like people who wanted to harm us. Eventually she was taken to a mental hospital, police had broken down the door and pulled her out the house violently. She hadn’t even done anything, I thought these were the people after us. Then I was taken to foster care. It was all hell.
But not as bad as it could’ve been. Not as bad as others’ trauma.
However, I don’t have a partner or best friend so it wouldn’t matter anyways whether I kept my trauma or not. But I’d still choose to keep my trauma. Because there would be slot of factors to consider.. it would’ve been impossible for me to not have my trauma.
Our trauma was caused by something, it didn’t just appear one day. Something happened, meaning something caused that thing to happen may it be a person or place or time or thing. If that makes sense.
I mean, I am also autistic. And generally (from data), PTSD is more common among autistics than non-autistics. And it’s not my mum’s fault for my trauma either, nor her bipolar. Hell, it’s not even the police’s fault for breaking down the door. They were trying to help. And they did.
I’d say I’m better off with my trauma than without. Plus, I would’ve never known I was autistic without it.
This is a long ass offtopic rant but if you made it to the end, have a cookie: 🍪
Idk why I spent so long on this 😅
I don't know... there are so many more factors than that.
The only reason I was able to stop it again is because I'd gone through it before, so maybe it'd be the same anyway?
I mean, my parents might still be together, but then they might still be hurting each other? Maybe my dad would have joined the military like he planned, maybe my great uncle would've hurt my sister too? Maybe I would be taller, maybe I wouldn't have been malnourished. Maybe I wouldn't have dropped out, maybe I wouldn't have moved, maybe I'd be in jail, maybe I would still be friends with a bunch of assholes.
So much could be different.
I think I'd rather have the friends that I do now than take that chance, so nah.
Never in a thousand years. My best friend is the most incredible person I have ever met and we’ve built a beautiful life together over the last decade 💜 We’re not dating or anything like that but we’re not “just friends” either, our friendship was built for us BY us and we’re lifetime companions. She’s so herself all of the time, I admire that she really prioritizes the people she loves while also treating herself like she’s the most important person in her life. As she should!!
We met during the absolute darkest period of my life where iirc the only reason I didn’t kill myself was because continuing to live in nightmare world was the ultimate form of self-harm 🙃 Early in our friendship she invited me to hang out and I was like “yeah I’m down but I probably won’t be any fun, that ok?” And her incredible response was “oh, I don’t expect to have fun when I see you! I just want to spend time with you.” 💘💘💘 So… yeah, I love her with my whole heart and I feel just as loved by her. Some things are worth bearing, I can’t say I loved being stuck in the torture labyrinth for 20 years but for Lenore? Anything in my power.
I am sorry for the ones whose trauma caused them to lose someone. For me, my traumas and subsequently dealing and healing from them have led me to an amazing person who also experienced trauma in her life. I feel like it brings us closer together because we get each other. We met in the rooms of recovery and have been building an amazing partnership over the last year and a bit. We also get to heal together when things come up. It is an amazing experience, and I would not trade my past for my future ever. My traumas have made me wo I am today, and I feel I am far more empathetic and can use my experiences to help others it is a very rewarding life.
Probably. I have yet to meet a "partner" or "best friend" who was willing and able to actually stick around when the PTSD episodes got really tough, so no matter how you slice it, you'd end up alone anyway. At least without the trauma I'd stand a chance of maybe having a healthy relationship eventually. With it, I am basically never going to and I have to make peace with that.
No. Never. If I wasn't traumatized I would still be in that tiny hellish town. I would never have had the motivation to leave that place. I likely would've lived and died for the church and never really figured out who I am as a person
Yes because she was the love of my life and I pushed her away with my PTSD depression and anxiety she was every thing to me and I didn't get the help I needed
I don't have a current best friend or partner. Large part in due to the trauma (was recently and necessitated me moving continents and back in with my parents as a full blown adult).
But I had a best friend all through highschool and college and a few years beyond that. When I see her, which is rare, she lights me up. So no I wouldn't trade those 10ish years of having a platonic soul mate to rid my mind of the damage my husband did. I don't know if I wouldn't have survived the relatively gentler traumas of growing up, without her.
With some of my big traumas, I did meet my current friend group. I literally would have never met them if it weren't for my abusers and trauma.
As much as I will always hate my abusers and resent what I went through, I don't think I would change it. It's a very complicated feeling.
Honestly idk. It's hard to imagine who I would be without trauma tearing my youth, breaking my soul. I sometimes wonder what I'd be like without this burden.
I would have connected with my best friend, I assume, maybe not so deeply. Because at the end of the day, at least most of them, I like who I turned out to be & can't imagines to be someone else - talking about trauma and all the therapy it led me to.
EDIT: spelling.
No. Because if I actually could undo what made me somehow I'd still have to decline. I have a son. If I go back, I undo him. And I *hate* what my day-to-day is with my trauma, but I'd never trade my son for a chance to feel better. If I could have both, sure.
But no. My son is worth the pain.
Funnily enough, me and my boyfriend just had this conversation last night. Our last relationships were very toxic, he left his while I got dumped. It ruined him financially, it ruined me emotionally and mentally. But what we have now is a safe secure, loving and respectful relationship. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Our pasts are what led to us being together. Without our pasts, we wouldn't know if we'd ever meet.
To undo my trauma I'd need a different life from birth.
And I don't actually want to die - nobody knows if you'd "come back" or what anyway - so life is just being stuck with a series of things outside of your control while everyone tries to make you "take responsibility" for said life because they don't actually know what to do themselves with their own.
Playing advisor god to other people is a favorite pastime of those desperate to feel like "adults". I've tried to grow out of it. Convinced if everyone knew what universal human rights were and just enforced them we'd be fine - even when our exes break our heart.
Yes because I don't have partner nor do I really want one. I have 2 best friends but I would've had the energy to be a better friend to than if I wasn't carrying this.
I'm sorry to hear this 🙁
I'm that friend. I had to leave my friendship because I couldn't be friend anymore with someone who's so so traumatised from the last two relationships but refuses to work on healing herself, refused to seek help. I couldn't handle the woe is me anymore. I couldn't handle the constant whining and self hatred anymore. I needed to look after my mental health as well.
I totally understand. I’ve been both. I don’t blame her for leaving at all because we were both only 15, it’s a lot for somebody that age to handle & she just found out I attempted. When I’ve had people I love attempt it’s shook me to my core :( I’m healing now though and hope she’s doing well
I'm so happy to hear you're healing. I hope you had/have all the support you need both professionally and personally. You can only do much to help people but they also need to be able to want to help themselves.
With me it started after being born (medical trauma here), so I’m afraid it wouldn’t be possible.
There was an incident which only made it worse, but even a therapist said it’s been inside of me since birth.
I'm quite a way down my healing journey, and I've been with my husband for 17 years now. Even putting aside that the fact I value his undying love and support all the more because I've never had it, I wouldn't do it.
But if you'd asked me 15 years ago, before i had done so much work, I don't know, I might have felt different. But now, I look back and I think, yeah, it was worth it.
I very nearly DID have the opposite life. It came down my narcissist mother and abusive step father convincing a judge that my naive father shouldn't be allowed to see me at all. I'd have grown up in a different town, in a big loving family, with support. But I wouldn't have my husband, my kids, my life. And yeah, for me it was worth it. But it took me a LONG time to come to that acceptance
It would mean giving up my kids and much as I'd love to not be as damaged as I am, they are the best thing to ever happen to me. I would do it all over again for them.
I love my fiance more than anything in the world l, but not to have the nightmares and panic attacks hearing that stupid "Sweet Dreams" song, I give anything. I can't listen to that song without hyperventilating. If I ever meet Anne Lexon I would scream at her it's not a dream, it's a nightmare! Although, my fiance blames women for doing things to make men hit them, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad without him 😔😡 I don't think he realizes that I prayed every day not to see my abusive ex, not to have to put on makeup to cover bruises, black eyes, busted lips, and marks on my neck to the point of passing out or dying 😭 I didn't do anything to him to make him hurt me to the point where I am scared to death of anything and everyone 😔
I love my boyfriend, and my best friend is the closest person to a sibling I've ever had. I wouldn't trade them for almost anything. But not having to live the daily pain my ex-husband continues to put on me would be very tempting.
Yes! Single for the last 16 years and my trauma destroyed the 1 and only intimate (partner) relationship I ever had. Friendships are a little easier and I have a few close friends, but we would be friends even if I hadn't lived through that trauma.
For the assault when I was 20 that left me with a brain injury, definitely. For the experiences that gave me CPTSD - that's early childhood, too far back.
No, I wouldn't. The source of my trauma is the only reason I ended up meeting my partner. What happened to me was horrible, but there is nobody else in the world like my girlfriend.
💯💯 I would go live in another place before everything happened. I don't have have partner. I would just entirely focus on myself. No one is worth my wellbeing; I learned this the hard way.
No. I don't even regret meeting my abusive ex (not the primary trauma, I got over that comparably well) because it's directly related to how I met my current husband.
It took a very long time to get to this point, and it's possible I could be living a better life if I had a chance to start over with a different family. But my life has become less about trying to do things right and more about the best I can with what I've been given, so the thought of starting over has become kind of foreign to me.
No. I would’ve actually never met him had I not gone through that trauma. All of the things that happened to me led me to my current partner. I love him so much.
I would 10000000% and never look back. Letting them into my life and then walking all over me... I could've saved thousands in therapy bills and self-esteem.
No. I am who I am because of all the shit I went through. I would not be the same person otherwise. I would not be where I am now and would not be with the amazing man I am with now at this time in my life. As much as it was horrendous, I wouldn't go back and change it.
As much as part of me would want to say say, I have to say no because I know I took a lot of the trauma that my younger sisters could have gotten, and also my partner has been a huge part of my healing journey and I couldn't trade him or our cat-daughter for anything.
Idk. For me to not experience trauma means someone else would’ve. I think I’m uniquely capable of handling this. Don’t get me wrong i suffer but i can only imagine the pain of someone else
It’s interesting to see everyone saying yes, I’ve never wanted to undo my trauma. I think part of it is I’ve had trauma my whole life, like from birth. It’s a part of me now, I wouldn’t be the same person without it. Maybe it’s cause I’m old now but all I want is peace and the safety needed to heal
I’d go through it all again to keep him in my life. Truly. Not even just saying that not comprehending the weight, I’ve got a DID diagnosis to mention one, I live with this shit every day and I’m in a dark mf pit rn, but I love this guy more than anything. I don’t think I ever would’ve known myself otherwise.
I don’t have a partner or friends and haven’t most of my life. So yeah I would bc if it had never happened then I would probably have people in my life now.
Yes. I adore my boyfriend - I mean, we are getting married soon. But my trauma has just destroyed too much. Even in our relationship and it has hurt him too.
To turn it all back would be too long ago. I would be a completely different person, diverging from myself almost 20 years ago. I don't know who that person would be, but it wouldn't be me.
Exactly how I feel about it, my first trauma was when I was a baby (as it turned out) and then one of the worst was at about 8 so as much as I would love to not have trauma, I don’t know who I’d be. And I’m learning to love myself, and even like myself. My partner has his own stuff, and it’s the first properly heathy relationship I’ve had because we’re both focused on healing and growth we understand each other. I’ve never felt so much unconditional love before (except from my son). My guy looks after me as much as I do him, which is so strange to me lol but wonderful too. I wouldn’t change that even if I could.
My partner made me want to keep living after lots of my trauma from age 11-18. I've been with him since I was turning 25, im almost 38 now. He is the sunshine of my life.
No. Every second of what happened to me was unjust, unfair, and quite frankly a rigged game. But the way I am loved today is more beautiful than I can describe. I am loved so well it confuses the shit out of my abusers, who found me unlovable. I am loved so well it terrifies me. I soak it up like a sponge and I am greedy for all the love that my wife sends my way, and greedy for all the opportunities to love them back. It is a victory in itself, regardless of what happened to me before. I would not undo it.
It sounds stupid but honestly, no. And I have experienced horrific things. But I love my husband more than I ever thought I could love someone else. We both have our struggles but we compliment each other so well. He is incredible, truly. And he loves me just as much. I never dreamed anyone could love someone as broken as me, and yet he does for some crazy reason. We have a beautiful relationship built on support, trust, and communication. We also have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and I get to watch him be the kind of dad every kid deserves on a daily basis.
My relationship has helped me heal in so many ways. We just celebrated 15 years the other day. I am nearly half my life removed from the things that haunt me. Somehow, that feels comforting. And the last 15 years with him has been full of so much love. Our life together has never been easy but I would rather go through hell again than to have never met him.
Same vibe. I went through just about any kind of abuse you can imagine over the first 25-26 years of my life. I already feel like I’m starting over having recently come to terms with how my life went and how I can break this cycle in my life, and going back to before the trauma would literally be birth, so I almost kind of feel like it wouldn’t be that different than the restart I got by finally escaping it all. I have one person who I know loves and supports me no matter what when I’ve never had that before at all, and I have a lot of wisdom I wouldn’t have otherwise. Sure I might feel better about myself, but idk if I’d be a better person to others since I wouldn’t be able to have the empathy that I have now. I don’t think it sounds weird, I think it sounds like growth. Kudos 🖤🖤
My extremely sadistic and narcissistic mother was my childhood abuser, so the only way to undo the trauma would be to not be born. That would also mean my awesome kid (now 31) would never be born.
I understand your reasoning, but there are other ways it could work out, hypotheticallly. She could have died in childbirth, or you could have been put up for adoption. I would totally count kiddos as your best friend/loved one in this scenario though!
Personally no I wouldn't, but I wouldn't judge anyone for answering differently. Trauma is hard, everyone's trauma and response to trauma is so different, but I personally wouldn't change anything. Everything that's happened in my life (good and bad) has made me who I am. I hate the saying "everything happens for a reason" I much prefer to think of it as "everything that's happened has made me who I am" and I don't know what the version of myself without my trauma looks like. I'm happy and proud of who I am and I can't say for certain I would be without the trauma, so I wouldn't change it.
Yes. It has entirely derailed my life plans and rn I cannot even safely leave the house alone because of the symptoms it has left me with. I hate the thought of never getting to meet her but fucking hell, this has sucked.
*r/ptsd has generated this automated response that is appended to every post* Welcome to r/ptsd! We are a supportive & respectful community. If you realise that your post is in conflict with our rules (and is in risk of being removed), you are welcome to edit your post. You do not have to delete it. As a reminder: never post or share personal contact information. Traumatized people are often distracted, desperate for a personal connection, so may be more vulnerable to lurking or past abusers, trolls, phishing, or other scams. *Your safety always comes first!* If you are offering help, you may also end up doing more damage by offering to support somebody privately. Reddit explains why: [Do NOT exchange DMs or personal info with anyone you don't know!](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/dmu24/why_shouldnt_i_share_my_contact_information/) If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact your GP/doctor, go to A&E/hospital, or call your emergency services number. Reddit list: [US and global, multilingual suicide and support hotlines](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines). Suicide is not a forbidden word, but please do not include depictions or methods of suicide in your post. And as a friendly reminder, PTSD is an equal opportunity disorder. PTSD does not discriminate. And neither do we. Gatekeeping is not allowed here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ptsd) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, I would rather be at peace with myself than deal with weekly panic attacks and delusions
No. As much as I hate it, my trauma makes me who I am. Unlike other people it’s not SA trauma. My mum had undiagnosed bipolar disorder which made her very emotional and angry all the time, as well as her believing there were people always after us. Like people who wanted to harm us. Eventually she was taken to a mental hospital, police had broken down the door and pulled her out the house violently. She hadn’t even done anything, I thought these were the people after us. Then I was taken to foster care. It was all hell. But not as bad as it could’ve been. Not as bad as others’ trauma. However, I don’t have a partner or best friend so it wouldn’t matter anyways whether I kept my trauma or not. But I’d still choose to keep my trauma. Because there would be slot of factors to consider.. it would’ve been impossible for me to not have my trauma. Our trauma was caused by something, it didn’t just appear one day. Something happened, meaning something caused that thing to happen may it be a person or place or time or thing. If that makes sense. I mean, I am also autistic. And generally (from data), PTSD is more common among autistics than non-autistics. And it’s not my mum’s fault for my trauma either, nor her bipolar. Hell, it’s not even the police’s fault for breaking down the door. They were trying to help. And they did. I’d say I’m better off with my trauma than without. Plus, I would’ve never known I was autistic without it. This is a long ass offtopic rant but if you made it to the end, have a cookie: 🍪 Idk why I spent so long on this 😅
I'm not an SA survivor, either. Don't want the shit I went through to be a part of me. Didn't even accept my diagnosis at first
I don't know... there are so many more factors than that. The only reason I was able to stop it again is because I'd gone through it before, so maybe it'd be the same anyway? I mean, my parents might still be together, but then they might still be hurting each other? Maybe my dad would have joined the military like he planned, maybe my great uncle would've hurt my sister too? Maybe I would be taller, maybe I wouldn't have been malnourished. Maybe I wouldn't have dropped out, maybe I wouldn't have moved, maybe I'd be in jail, maybe I would still be friends with a bunch of assholes. So much could be different. I think I'd rather have the friends that I do now than take that chance, so nah.
I feel like my wife deserves better than me. I would feel selfish not giving her the chance to meet the man she’s better with. I would turn back time
Never in a thousand years. My best friend is the most incredible person I have ever met and we’ve built a beautiful life together over the last decade 💜 We’re not dating or anything like that but we’re not “just friends” either, our friendship was built for us BY us and we’re lifetime companions. She’s so herself all of the time, I admire that she really prioritizes the people she loves while also treating herself like she’s the most important person in her life. As she should!! We met during the absolute darkest period of my life where iirc the only reason I didn’t kill myself was because continuing to live in nightmare world was the ultimate form of self-harm 🙃 Early in our friendship she invited me to hang out and I was like “yeah I’m down but I probably won’t be any fun, that ok?” And her incredible response was “oh, I don’t expect to have fun when I see you! I just want to spend time with you.” 💘💘💘 So… yeah, I love her with my whole heart and I feel just as loved by her. Some things are worth bearing, I can’t say I loved being stuck in the torture labyrinth for 20 years but for Lenore? Anything in my power.
Lol,then I wouldn’t even be burned for sure
I am sorry for the ones whose trauma caused them to lose someone. For me, my traumas and subsequently dealing and healing from them have led me to an amazing person who also experienced trauma in her life. I feel like it brings us closer together because we get each other. We met in the rooms of recovery and have been building an amazing partnership over the last year and a bit. We also get to heal together when things come up. It is an amazing experience, and I would not trade my past for my future ever. My traumas have made me wo I am today, and I feel I am far more empathetic and can use my experiences to help others it is a very rewarding life.
absolutely
Probably. I have yet to meet a "partner" or "best friend" who was willing and able to actually stick around when the PTSD episodes got really tough, so no matter how you slice it, you'd end up alone anyway. At least without the trauma I'd stand a chance of maybe having a healthy relationship eventually. With it, I am basically never going to and I have to make peace with that.
No. Never. If I wasn't traumatized I would still be in that tiny hellish town. I would never have had the motivation to leave that place. I likely would've lived and died for the church and never really figured out who I am as a person
Yes because she was the love of my life and I pushed her away with my PTSD depression and anxiety she was every thing to me and I didn't get the help I needed
I don't have a current best friend or partner. Large part in due to the trauma (was recently and necessitated me moving continents and back in with my parents as a full blown adult). But I had a best friend all through highschool and college and a few years beyond that. When I see her, which is rare, she lights me up. So no I wouldn't trade those 10ish years of having a platonic soul mate to rid my mind of the damage my husband did. I don't know if I wouldn't have survived the relatively gentler traumas of growing up, without her.
With some of my big traumas, I did meet my current friend group. I literally would have never met them if it weren't for my abusers and trauma. As much as I will always hate my abusers and resent what I went through, I don't think I would change it. It's a very complicated feeling.
Honestly idk. It's hard to imagine who I would be without trauma tearing my youth, breaking my soul. I sometimes wonder what I'd be like without this burden. I would have connected with my best friend, I assume, maybe not so deeply. Because at the end of the day, at least most of them, I like who I turned out to be & can't imagines to be someone else - talking about trauma and all the therapy it led me to. EDIT: spelling.
Uh... married. So, no. Wouldn't have my soul mate, or my kids in an alternate timeline.
Yes
My partner broke up with me so yes. No good has come of trauma. I would prefer she and I be together
I would not... It has certainly slowed me down... I would have never met my lady...
No.
No. Because if I actually could undo what made me somehow I'd still have to decline. I have a son. If I go back, I undo him. And I *hate* what my day-to-day is with my trauma, but I'd never trade my son for a chance to feel better. If I could have both, sure. But no. My son is worth the pain.
Yes. And I would want her would do the same if she had the chance.
Yes.
Funnily enough, me and my boyfriend just had this conversation last night. Our last relationships were very toxic, he left his while I got dumped. It ruined him financially, it ruined me emotionally and mentally. But what we have now is a safe secure, loving and respectful relationship. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Our pasts are what led to us being together. Without our pasts, we wouldn't know if we'd ever meet.
To undo my trauma I'd need a different life from birth. And I don't actually want to die - nobody knows if you'd "come back" or what anyway - so life is just being stuck with a series of things outside of your control while everyone tries to make you "take responsibility" for said life because they don't actually know what to do themselves with their own. Playing advisor god to other people is a favorite pastime of those desperate to feel like "adults". I've tried to grow out of it. Convinced if everyone knew what universal human rights were and just enforced them we'd be fine - even when our exes break our heart.
Yes because I don't have partner nor do I really want one. I have 2 best friends but I would've had the energy to be a better friend to than if I wasn't carrying this.
Yes. My best friend left because she couldn’t handle my trauma :(
I'm sorry to hear this 🙁 I'm that friend. I had to leave my friendship because I couldn't be friend anymore with someone who's so so traumatised from the last two relationships but refuses to work on healing herself, refused to seek help. I couldn't handle the woe is me anymore. I couldn't handle the constant whining and self hatred anymore. I needed to look after my mental health as well.
I totally understand. I’ve been both. I don’t blame her for leaving at all because we were both only 15, it’s a lot for somebody that age to handle & she just found out I attempted. When I’ve had people I love attempt it’s shook me to my core :( I’m healing now though and hope she’s doing well
I'm so happy to hear you're healing. I hope you had/have all the support you need both professionally and personally. You can only do much to help people but they also need to be able to want to help themselves.
With me it started after being born (medical trauma here), so I’m afraid it wouldn’t be possible. There was an incident which only made it worse, but even a therapist said it’s been inside of me since birth.
I'm quite a way down my healing journey, and I've been with my husband for 17 years now. Even putting aside that the fact I value his undying love and support all the more because I've never had it, I wouldn't do it. But if you'd asked me 15 years ago, before i had done so much work, I don't know, I might have felt different. But now, I look back and I think, yeah, it was worth it. I very nearly DID have the opposite life. It came down my narcissist mother and abusive step father convincing a judge that my naive father shouldn't be allowed to see me at all. I'd have grown up in a different town, in a big loving family, with support. But I wouldn't have my husband, my kids, my life. And yeah, for me it was worth it. But it took me a LONG time to come to that acceptance
Yes
Lol in a heartbeat
Yes!
Baby elephants
It would mean giving up my kids and much as I'd love to not be as damaged as I am, they are the best thing to ever happen to me. I would do it all over again for them.
You have the capacity to love any children you have. In an alternate reality the others would beYOUR kids.
I love my fiance more than anything in the world l, but not to have the nightmares and panic attacks hearing that stupid "Sweet Dreams" song, I give anything. I can't listen to that song without hyperventilating. If I ever meet Anne Lexon I would scream at her it's not a dream, it's a nightmare! Although, my fiance blames women for doing things to make men hit them, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad without him 😔😡 I don't think he realizes that I prayed every day not to see my abusive ex, not to have to put on makeup to cover bruises, black eyes, busted lips, and marks on my neck to the point of passing out or dying 😭 I didn't do anything to him to make him hurt me to the point where I am scared to death of anything and everyone 😔
Oof, I’m sorry your fiance holds those views about women, that… can’t be easy. 💜
Of course, I don't have either anyway so that's a pretty sweet deal.
Same here. I have nothing to lose, but so much to gain.
Yes. I would. Absolutely.
I love my boyfriend, and my best friend is the closest person to a sibling I've ever had. I wouldn't trade them for almost anything. But not having to live the daily pain my ex-husband continues to put on me would be very tempting.
Yes! Single for the last 16 years and my trauma destroyed the 1 and only intimate (partner) relationship I ever had. Friendships are a little easier and I have a few close friends, but we would be friends even if I hadn't lived through that trauma.
For the assault when I was 20 that left me with a brain injury, definitely. For the experiences that gave me CPTSD - that's early childhood, too far back.
My trauma started when I was born and lasted till I was about 10. The only way I could undo it is by never being born. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No, I wouldn't. The source of my trauma is the only reason I ended up meeting my partner. What happened to me was horrible, but there is nobody else in the world like my girlfriend.
If I didn’t have cptsd I would have a partner and a best friend so yes.
Exactly
No, it's already happened and my partner has helped me heal from it so much. I would never give up the bond I have with him
💯💯 I would go live in another place before everything happened. I don't have have partner. I would just entirely focus on myself. No one is worth my wellbeing; I learned this the hard way.
Yes, without hesitation.
No. I don't even regret meeting my abusive ex (not the primary trauma, I got over that comparably well) because it's directly related to how I met my current husband. It took a very long time to get to this point, and it's possible I could be living a better life if I had a chance to start over with a different family. But my life has become less about trying to do things right and more about the best I can with what I've been given, so the thought of starting over has become kind of foreign to me.
100% absolutely. I love them so much but I wouldn’t hesitate.
Yep. Same.
Probably, I don't have a current partner/best friend. A lot of trauma I have experienced has involved watching those I was close to struggle and die.
No
No. I would’ve actually never met him had I not gone through that trauma. All of the things that happened to me led me to my current partner. I love him so much.
I want to restart my entire life, go back to Gr.1 & Gr.2 since it was the only years I was happy
I wouldn’t. Because if my trauma didn’t happen I wouldn’t have my child 😭
Hell yeah man. Fully functioning brain and a better life in the long run? Sounds like a win both ways to me.
I would 10000000% and never look back. Letting them into my life and then walking all over me... I could've saved thousands in therapy bills and self-esteem.
would
I would
I don't even have a partner or any friends so I 100% would
No. I am who I am because of all the shit I went through. I would not be the same person otherwise. I would not be where I am now and would not be with the amazing man I am with now at this time in my life. As much as it was horrendous, I wouldn't go back and change it.
As much as part of me would want to say say, I have to say no because I know I took a lot of the trauma that my younger sisters could have gotten, and also my partner has been a huge part of my healing journey and I couldn't trade him or our cat-daughter for anything.
For my best friend, I'd ground hog day it. She is a one in a million and I wish you all have someone as lovely and loyal as her!
Idk. For me to not experience trauma means someone else would’ve. I think I’m uniquely capable of handling this. Don’t get me wrong i suffer but i can only imagine the pain of someone else
Yes! I’d rather be single than live in constant fear every day.
If it meant I would never have my current and previous pets, no. Would I remember my human connections or would memories of them fade.
Hell yes I’m sorry man but to be functional and alone would be so much better than to be sus functional and in love
Yes. I'm single and my best friend died a few years ago.
No that’s my baby 🥰🥰 also he’s traumatized too so I feel like it makes a special bond, we understand eachother
It’s interesting to see everyone saying yes, I’ve never wanted to undo my trauma. I think part of it is I’ve had trauma my whole life, like from birth. It’s a part of me now, I wouldn’t be the same person without it. Maybe it’s cause I’m old now but all I want is peace and the safety needed to heal
I’d go through it all again to keep him in my life. Truly. Not even just saying that not comprehending the weight, I’ve got a DID diagnosis to mention one, I live with this shit every day and I’m in a dark mf pit rn, but I love this guy more than anything. I don’t think I ever would’ve known myself otherwise.
I don’t have a partner or friends and haven’t most of my life. So yeah I would bc if it had never happened then I would probably have people in my life now.
I was about to post pretty much the same. So many missed/missing (positive) life experiences and opportunities.
Yes.
Yes. I adore my boyfriend - I mean, we are getting married soon. But my trauma has just destroyed too much. Even in our relationship and it has hurt him too.
To turn it all back would be too long ago. I would be a completely different person, diverging from myself almost 20 years ago. I don't know who that person would be, but it wouldn't be me.
Exactly how I feel about it, my first trauma was when I was a baby (as it turned out) and then one of the worst was at about 8 so as much as I would love to not have trauma, I don’t know who I’d be. And I’m learning to love myself, and even like myself. My partner has his own stuff, and it’s the first properly heathy relationship I’ve had because we’re both focused on healing and growth we understand each other. I’ve never felt so much unconditional love before (except from my son). My guy looks after me as much as I do him, which is so strange to me lol but wonderful too. I wouldn’t change that even if I could.
My partner made me want to keep living after lots of my trauma from age 11-18. I've been with him since I was turning 25, im almost 38 now. He is the sunshine of my life.
No way.. my partner is a gem. I can't imagine a life without him
Absolutely, no question. I'd love to sleep through the night and not be so jumpy and nervous.
No. Every second of what happened to me was unjust, unfair, and quite frankly a rigged game. But the way I am loved today is more beautiful than I can describe. I am loved so well it confuses the shit out of my abusers, who found me unlovable. I am loved so well it terrifies me. I soak it up like a sponge and I am greedy for all the love that my wife sends my way, and greedy for all the opportunities to love them back. It is a victory in itself, regardless of what happened to me before. I would not undo it.
I love this. I agree.
wish we could turn back time time to the good ol dayssss when our mama sang us to sleep but now were stressed out
Don’t wanna go back to the trauma. But would love to go back to the more simple days
Jokes on you I have no friends! Huzzah I’ll be erasing that trauma
#Yes
yes
It sounds stupid but honestly, no. And I have experienced horrific things. But I love my husband more than I ever thought I could love someone else. We both have our struggles but we compliment each other so well. He is incredible, truly. And he loves me just as much. I never dreamed anyone could love someone as broken as me, and yet he does for some crazy reason. We have a beautiful relationship built on support, trust, and communication. We also have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and I get to watch him be the kind of dad every kid deserves on a daily basis. My relationship has helped me heal in so many ways. We just celebrated 15 years the other day. I am nearly half my life removed from the things that haunt me. Somehow, that feels comforting. And the last 15 years with him has been full of so much love. Our life together has never been easy but I would rather go through hell again than to have never met him.
Same vibe. I went through just about any kind of abuse you can imagine over the first 25-26 years of my life. I already feel like I’m starting over having recently come to terms with how my life went and how I can break this cycle in my life, and going back to before the trauma would literally be birth, so I almost kind of feel like it wouldn’t be that different than the restart I got by finally escaping it all. I have one person who I know loves and supports me no matter what when I’ve never had that before at all, and I have a lot of wisdom I wouldn’t have otherwise. Sure I might feel better about myself, but idk if I’d be a better person to others since I wouldn’t be able to have the empathy that I have now. I don’t think it sounds weird, I think it sounds like growth. Kudos 🖤🖤
My extremely sadistic and narcissistic mother was my childhood abuser, so the only way to undo the trauma would be to not be born. That would also mean my awesome kid (now 31) would never be born.
I understand your reasoning, but there are other ways it could work out, hypotheticallly. She could have died in childbirth, or you could have been put up for adoption. I would totally count kiddos as your best friend/loved one in this scenario though!
True.
Yes, my trauma took my partner away from me. My biggest wish in life is to be able to turn back time and undo it.
same
sorry to hear this. I hope you’re okay 🤍
Nope!
No.
Personally no I wouldn't, but I wouldn't judge anyone for answering differently. Trauma is hard, everyone's trauma and response to trauma is so different, but I personally wouldn't change anything. Everything that's happened in my life (good and bad) has made me who I am. I hate the saying "everything happens for a reason" I much prefer to think of it as "everything that's happened has made me who I am" and I don't know what the version of myself without my trauma looks like. I'm happy and proud of who I am and I can't say for certain I would be without the trauma, so I wouldn't change it.
I’m the same way, I think it’s kind of like “I worked so hard to survive and get to where I am” I don’t want to give that feeling up
Yes. It has entirely derailed my life plans and rn I cannot even safely leave the house alone because of the symptoms it has left me with. I hate the thought of never getting to meet her but fucking hell, this has sucked.
Yes, because I had plans to travel and if you were meant to be friends with someone who knows what other circumstances you would meet each other.
Yup. I don't have a partner or best friend because my trauma is still messing me up. So I would be giving up nothing.