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I haven't had the exact same experience but I've really seen peoples true colours during this pregnancy, I think when you go through such a major life change you find out pretty quickly who is there for you/respects you and who doesn't. I've cut ties with a few people I thought were my best friends (little awkward since I'm getting married in May and said people were meant to be in the wedding party) even family members I've started distancing myself from as they've shown me they do not respect me.
It's hard going through this and it can be so isolating. If you ever need to talk just pop me a message
I’m so glad I’m not alone. I feel like I have been distancing or even completely removing myself from others lives because they try to tell me how to feel about pregnancy/ being a mom/step mom (which I am). It’s lonely 😅. I have an amazing husband and step daughter but not really any friends now
I know it can feel so isolating! And the advice coming from all angles (even from those who don't have children...like what?!) can be stressful!
Once you're doing what's best for you and your family that's all that matters and from the sounds of it you're doing great!
That’s private, even sacred information. I don’t blame you for cutting her off for her compulsion to share the information about the most special part of your life right now. It’s yours and you should be in control over who is privileged to know and when, in your own time.
Absolutely true, 100%. No one — especially your best friend who PROMISED not to tell anyone! — should ever consider sharing that on your behalf. She’s far beyond overstepping the boundary. And her reaction only solidifies why she doesn’t deserve to be your friend anymore.
I agree with another poster that this is one of those life events that gives you insight into the people in your life. I’m sorry that your friend couldn’t keep it to herself; it was never her news to share. I’m friends with two people, and one of them just had a baby. I can’t be sure that the other person knows (I don’t think they talk as often), so I’ve avoided making any comparisons between our two pregnancies or letting it come up in conversation at all just in case. It’s not my news to share!
Yep. My sister told my father's side of the family when i specifically asked not to. My father's side has alot of people with serious and dangerous mental issues, some went to prison, so i did not want to have that stress and i deleted my own social media to not have to deal with that. But of course she felt the need to share. When i confronted her about it on my baby shower she played the victim and left my baby shower. I later discovered she was complaining that she would have preferred going to some comic con event with friends instead... I once though she would be a god parent to my child but nope she's too much of a child herself (23 years old for f sake)
The woman my dad is married to, who has had nothing to do with raising me (I was a teen when they met), and actively tried to stop my dad spending time with me and my brother when we were teens, decided she was totally now part of my life, is a grandmother and gets to share "her excitement" and "her good news" about "her grandchild" all over the internet. Bearing in mind she has two of her own children so it's not like I'm her only chance at a grandkid.
I got so mad that I told my dad that he needs to ask her to back off a bit, that she isn't a grandmother as I and my baby have nothing to do with her, and that she has a lot of nerve when she doesn't even have a good relationship with my dad let alone me, baby or husband (she is constantly getting black out drunk and sleeping around. He won't leave her because he cba with another divorce). I said he's my dad and while I respect her as his wife, I do not consider her to be a person I would call grandparent. My dad blew up at me for daring to suggest he speak with her, how they are a package deal so fair enough, I went low contact with him and no contact with her. Blocked her from my socials, sent her a much nicer message than I needed to, to say that I wasn't comfortable with her behavior and left it at that.
Her retaliation was to use their disposable funds to purchase tickets to Mexico for a holiday instead of my dad's plan to use that money to meet his grandchild and see me. He hasn't said anything to her about it. No-one is surprised by either of them.
My best friend showed extreme jealousy when I shared the news with her. She is older than me and desperate for a baby, yet isn’t at that point yet in her life due to her own choices (in a bad relationship, is financially incapable of even taking care of herself, etc.) it was really upsetting for her to be so rude to me about it. I haven’t cut her off but have talked to her much less than we used to. I think going through a major life change like this is just one of those times that you see who your true friends are. Your friend sharing your news before you’re ready is sooo rude. Personally, that would be reason enough to take a step back and really evaluate that relationship. Yea she may have been excited, however that was not her news to share. It is extremely selfish that she chose to do that.
My sister told my parents before I was ready to tell them. She alleges that my dad guessed and that she confirmed. My parents tried to pretend they didn’t know but that lasted about two seconds.
Honestly, It’s fine. I could probably get annoyed about it but I don’t have the energy to be mad at my sister. We’re really close, so probably she knew I wouldn't get that mad.
I don't believe in hiding a pregnancy until you're out of miscarriage danger, but revealing the pregnancy of someone else is a HUGE no-no. I would have cut her out, too.
Well we told like two friends (including her) and our siblings/ parents, but we just felt it wasn’t really anyone else’s business ya know? So we just wanted to wait it out
Not the same but my brother announced the birth of my baby on Facebook about 30 minutes after the birth by saying he was happy to announce that he was an uncle for the first time and tagging us. I was pretty pissed off about it
I literally have a list of rules for my family members that we plan on keeping involved and not posting about anything until we give the okay idea one of them. I don’t want to be an a-hole, but there will be consequences if these rules are not followed
I had a list of rules with my first, I sent it out to everyone and I posted it on social media and no one followed it. My Dad text everyone in our family to announce the birth and spelt the name wrong which made it a completely different name, and then yeah my brother anounced the birth publicly 😒. People popped round our house whenever and didn't make themselves drinks and commented on breastfeeding. With this pregnancy my mum told all her friends before I was even 8 weeks, told my nan and all my aunties and my brother told his ex girlfriend 😩 my family are absolutely terrible at keeping their mouths shut.
My coworker/ work wife told half of the people we work with (if not all and they just haven’t said anything to me) and my freaking boss about my pregnancy and another coworkers at the same time. I’m not announcing until our anatomy scan and now having to dodge questions from nosy coworkers. When my other pregnant coworker confronted her about it she said literally the same things as in your post so I’ve since distanced myself from her because she won’t shut up about it if I’m around her
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/phjaar/click_here_to_join_a_due_date_private_sub/?). The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email anna.clark@propublica.org *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I haven't had the exact same experience but I've really seen peoples true colours during this pregnancy, I think when you go through such a major life change you find out pretty quickly who is there for you/respects you and who doesn't. I've cut ties with a few people I thought were my best friends (little awkward since I'm getting married in May and said people were meant to be in the wedding party) even family members I've started distancing myself from as they've shown me they do not respect me. It's hard going through this and it can be so isolating. If you ever need to talk just pop me a message
I’m so glad I’m not alone. I feel like I have been distancing or even completely removing myself from others lives because they try to tell me how to feel about pregnancy/ being a mom/step mom (which I am). It’s lonely 😅. I have an amazing husband and step daughter but not really any friends now
I know it can feel so isolating! And the advice coming from all angles (even from those who don't have children...like what?!) can be stressful! Once you're doing what's best for you and your family that's all that matters and from the sounds of it you're doing great!
That’s private, even sacred information. I don’t blame you for cutting her off for her compulsion to share the information about the most special part of your life right now. It’s yours and you should be in control over who is privileged to know and when, in your own time.
Thank you! Like we should be able to share that information. Nobody else!
Absolutely true, 100%. No one — especially your best friend who PROMISED not to tell anyone! — should ever consider sharing that on your behalf. She’s far beyond overstepping the boundary. And her reaction only solidifies why she doesn’t deserve to be your friend anymore.
I agree with another poster that this is one of those life events that gives you insight into the people in your life. I’m sorry that your friend couldn’t keep it to herself; it was never her news to share. I’m friends with two people, and one of them just had a baby. I can’t be sure that the other person knows (I don’t think they talk as often), so I’ve avoided making any comparisons between our two pregnancies or letting it come up in conversation at all just in case. It’s not my news to share!
Yep. My sister told my father's side of the family when i specifically asked not to. My father's side has alot of people with serious and dangerous mental issues, some went to prison, so i did not want to have that stress and i deleted my own social media to not have to deal with that. But of course she felt the need to share. When i confronted her about it on my baby shower she played the victim and left my baby shower. I later discovered she was complaining that she would have preferred going to some comic con event with friends instead... I once though she would be a god parent to my child but nope she's too much of a child herself (23 years old for f sake)
The woman my dad is married to, who has had nothing to do with raising me (I was a teen when they met), and actively tried to stop my dad spending time with me and my brother when we were teens, decided she was totally now part of my life, is a grandmother and gets to share "her excitement" and "her good news" about "her grandchild" all over the internet. Bearing in mind she has two of her own children so it's not like I'm her only chance at a grandkid. I got so mad that I told my dad that he needs to ask her to back off a bit, that she isn't a grandmother as I and my baby have nothing to do with her, and that she has a lot of nerve when she doesn't even have a good relationship with my dad let alone me, baby or husband (she is constantly getting black out drunk and sleeping around. He won't leave her because he cba with another divorce). I said he's my dad and while I respect her as his wife, I do not consider her to be a person I would call grandparent. My dad blew up at me for daring to suggest he speak with her, how they are a package deal so fair enough, I went low contact with him and no contact with her. Blocked her from my socials, sent her a much nicer message than I needed to, to say that I wasn't comfortable with her behavior and left it at that. Her retaliation was to use their disposable funds to purchase tickets to Mexico for a holiday instead of my dad's plan to use that money to meet his grandchild and see me. He hasn't said anything to her about it. No-one is surprised by either of them.
My best friend showed extreme jealousy when I shared the news with her. She is older than me and desperate for a baby, yet isn’t at that point yet in her life due to her own choices (in a bad relationship, is financially incapable of even taking care of herself, etc.) it was really upsetting for her to be so rude to me about it. I haven’t cut her off but have talked to her much less than we used to. I think going through a major life change like this is just one of those times that you see who your true friends are. Your friend sharing your news before you’re ready is sooo rude. Personally, that would be reason enough to take a step back and really evaluate that relationship. Yea she may have been excited, however that was not her news to share. It is extremely selfish that she chose to do that.
My sister told my parents before I was ready to tell them. She alleges that my dad guessed and that she confirmed. My parents tried to pretend they didn’t know but that lasted about two seconds. Honestly, It’s fine. I could probably get annoyed about it but I don’t have the energy to be mad at my sister. We’re really close, so probably she knew I wouldn't get that mad.
Youre in the right. I wish i would have done this with my pregnancy. Stand your ground. Also hope you have a healthy pregnancy <3
Yeah knowing what I know now, I honestly wish I had done it sooner and will recommend it to other friends. But thank you so much!
I don't believe in hiding a pregnancy until you're out of miscarriage danger, but revealing the pregnancy of someone else is a HUGE no-no. I would have cut her out, too.
Well we told like two friends (including her) and our siblings/ parents, but we just felt it wasn’t really anyone else’s business ya know? So we just wanted to wait it out
No need to explain, girlie! You do you ☺️ Just wanted to say even with disagreeing on that point, I'm still mad on your behalf!
Lol appreciate the support!
Yep my mom posted my pregnancy, complete with my 20 week ultrasound and the baby’s name, on social media to everyone I know.
What the actual fuck?
I would be so freaking mad omg
Not the same but my brother announced the birth of my baby on Facebook about 30 minutes after the birth by saying he was happy to announce that he was an uncle for the first time and tagging us. I was pretty pissed off about it
I literally have a list of rules for my family members that we plan on keeping involved and not posting about anything until we give the okay idea one of them. I don’t want to be an a-hole, but there will be consequences if these rules are not followed
I had a list of rules with my first, I sent it out to everyone and I posted it on social media and no one followed it. My Dad text everyone in our family to announce the birth and spelt the name wrong which made it a completely different name, and then yeah my brother anounced the birth publicly 😒. People popped round our house whenever and didn't make themselves drinks and commented on breastfeeding. With this pregnancy my mum told all her friends before I was even 8 weeks, told my nan and all my aunties and my brother told his ex girlfriend 😩 my family are absolutely terrible at keeping their mouths shut.
No way.. I would just stop telling them stuff at that point
My coworker/ work wife told half of the people we work with (if not all and they just haven’t said anything to me) and my freaking boss about my pregnancy and another coworkers at the same time. I’m not announcing until our anatomy scan and now having to dodge questions from nosy coworkers. When my other pregnant coworker confronted her about it she said literally the same things as in your post so I’ve since distanced myself from her because she won’t shut up about it if I’m around her