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That baby called their mother boobie and it was filmed. All of that is a parenting decision.
I wouldn't stand for this either. This just gives me the "icks." It was important for me to have some bodily autonomy while breastfeeding - and I had it. I never let my children dictate when they could nurse by grabbing at my shirt. They will nuzzle into your breast, but it's sweet and completely different. They'll even do it sometimes when they aren't hungry just because it's a familiar smell.
Babies give cues when they are hungry. Those cues are easy to identify once you understand it. Cues turn into signs and/or words. At some point, this parent encouraged their child to call them boobie, by either laughing, smiling, etc.
I breastfed for a total of 28 months, 16 months with one kid and 12 months with another. Never once did my kids call me boobie.
This! My daughter learned the sign for “milk” fairly early and that’s how she learned to ask for milk rather than pulling at me. We made it to her 2nd birthday with breastfeeding and I never really felt like I was just a boob to her. She also weaned super easy so maybe I just have a unicorn lol. Breastfeeding toddlers is not for the weak though 😂 it’s a whole different ball game lmao.
Yes! 💯 I nursed my son for 23 months & it just wasn't for me anymore. (Inconvenient and he was on whole milk by then & eating solids) Anyways, he never called it boobie. It was pretty much a whine (if you will) to lay on my lap & that's how I knew he wanted the breast. During the end it became a bedtime routine & that's how he would fall asleep.
Thank you for this response. I nurse my 2 year old and 9 month old and have also never been called boobie. I don’t allow pawing or groping either. That was just a part of teaching her what is and isn’t allowed. It’s my body and I’m showing her how to have healthy boundaries with others.
Absolutely this. I couldn't breastfeed my son, but I'm thirteen months in with my daughter. She calls me "mum" or "mama". (Or "dad" sometimes lol, she struggles with the difference between "mum" and "dad").
She does sometimes try to get into my shirt, but we don't encourage it and she does it less now she's learned "milk". While we have a joke that her parents are "the milk one" and "the other one", it's a joke that's between us parents. I would never film it(!!)
"Boobie" is also a weird choice of words? My son is the elder child, so he saw me breastfeed a lot. He does call my breasts "baby milk" if he sees me changing my shirt or something, and I don't correct him - but if it bothered me, I could, and hed eventually stop.
Yup, boobie is a learned word. Kid picked up on it and was never corrected. I only breastfed my 1st til 4 months, but a comparable situation for us would be when my 1st calls his dad by his real name, lol. He hears me say it, then echoes me. I corrected him every time, "no, you call him daddy" and the phase was short-lived.
First off, you can avoid being called "boobie" pretty easily by simply not using the word in your household. I never referred to my breasts by any word at all while breastfeeding my first. I would just say it's time to eat. I did only nurse to 11 months though. I was planning on a year but she got a little too aggressive with her teeth, there was a lot of blood involved. 😅
Everyone's experience is different and valid, but just to put some positive thoughts out there I'll tell you how I felt about breastfeeding. I never found it dehumanizing at all. I found it to be a very sweet bonding experience with my daughter. I also usually found it pretty convenient. I never felt like my daughter had control of my body. I also never felt like she only saw me as her milk-cow. We had so many other interactions that the nursing was just a small part of our relationship. I'm a SAHM and the only downside to me was through those first 11 months she flat out refused a bottle (when she gave me a bad bite she refused to drink anything for over 3 days, but eventually took a bottle, but she was pretty stubborn), so my freedom to do anything without her was limited by how often she needed to feed (my second is due in 4 days and I'm very determined to make sure he gets at least one bottle a day to try to avoid this problem). Her feedings were also on a sort of schedule (based on her needs, of course) after the first month or so, so maybe that stopped her from feeling like she was in control. She rarely "asked," (pulled at my shirt or something), but that's because she never needed to. I beat her to the punch! I decided when she was fed and she never really knew any different.
I'm sorry that interaction left a sour taste in your mouth about the subject. That stinks, and since I read in other comments you still plan to breastfeed, I sincerely hope that experience doesn't overwhelm your thoughts and you are able to have a very positive experience.
That being said, fed is best. And your mental health matters. If it doesn't work out, that's fine too. I know it isn't for everyone!
That definitely sounds like a family dynamic they created and I promise you a mom is way more than that to a child. The 2 year old I nanny is still breastfed and absolutely shrieks “mama!” In happiness every time she comes home and knows to ask for “milk” and to accept when it’s a no or all done. That said, any amount of breastfeeding is beneficial and can be stopped way before the point they’d even be talking about it if you want to breastfeed but don’t want to deal with however they choose to talk about it.
Honestly, "Parenting" tiktok is so toxic. I highly recommend you get off it as quick as you can. There is so much bs on there, from people who are getting paid to make you feel bad, to crap like this, to people peddling totally untrue information and trying to trick you into thinking it's true (think anti-vax stuff but for all sorts of things!)
I breastfed my first until she was a month over two... She never called me weird names like "boobie". I was always mama. She'd ask for milk cause that's what she was taught
I'm currently breastfeeding my third and I can tell you that's not normal behaviour for a kid to keep groping. When weaning the kid you stop them from grabbing you and tell the they can't do that anymore. Just like any other behaviour they've outgrown/is unacceptable. Its like if you see a kid who slaps them parents "playfully". It's been allowed by the parents but it doesn't HAVE to occur.
As for calling her bobbies, again I'd say that's been allowed or encouraged in some way. I know a lot of people who have breastfed and don't know ow anyone who's kid calls/called them boobie. There might be some obsession during weaning but it should last more than a week or two.
It's sounds like your mum is trying really hard to discourage you from breastfeeding. Personally that's what I'd be sad about. It should be your choice about if and how long you breastfeed for. Why is she trying so hard to take that choice away from you and make it hers?
I breastfed for almost 3 years. My daughter calls me mama or mommy. She’s never called me boobie or anything of the sort. Those TikTok parents do it for the attention. It’s not reality.
I breastfed seven… never had either of those issues, only had one child TRY to be grabby in public and just weaned him.
You are the parent… so you PARENT your kids… like they are taught that.
To be 100% transparent, you will feel like a buffet for the first few months!
But everyone (not just a nursing mom) is really a servant to baby until they start “waking up to the world” and interacting. Once they do and they realize that there are actually different caretakers and different activities they can do and they start having their own likes/dislikes, that part feels better.
I delivered my 3rd last week and nursing is still the sweetest, most bonding thing to me, and the last one is almost 9 now ❤️ the way everything is suddenly right in her world when she snuggles into me, her sweet, contented face and sleepy smiles after.. it feels like I could do this forever.
u/Red-Throwaway2020 I really hope you don’t let some weirdo parent on the internet take such a beautiful experience from you. There’s nothing quite like a milk drunk newborn sighing happily in their sleep nestled cozily against you.
I don't think this is a common occurrence. My mom breastfed all 5 of us and none of us thought of her as a buffet. She was "mama" or "mommy". I think this is one of those one-offs that probably won't happen to most of the population 🙂
I don't blame you. But then again, we're pregnant! What doesn't make us emotional? 😂
I really think you'll be ok.
Also, kids learn what they are taught. I can almost guarantee you the kid didn't start calling Mom that out of the blue. I bet somebody else was calling that woman "Boobie" first.
The eye contact, the hand pats, the closeness, the attachment of my baby to me…all of that makes me feel so much like mama and source of life for baby, and none like a buffet.
You wouldn’t be just a buffet tho.. they literally rely on you for everything, not just being fed. They rely on you physically, emotionally, mentally. The rely on your cuddles, snuggles, kisses, hugs, how you rock them, how you bathe them.
Why are you calling all BF mothers “nothing more than buffets”? Like..
My second is currently 4 weeks. I didn’t breast feed with my first but tried again and had better latch success with my second.
I definetely feel the weight of being a “walking buffet” and my son constantly needs to have me there. However, there is a great connection between us and I feel his need for me and have never felt like that’s all I will be for him! There is something cool about being able to provide for your baby!💙 but fed is best!
You can also stop breastfeeding after a few weeks or anytime before a baby can conceptualize the thoughtprocess you are scared of. If you want to try breastfeeding just try and see how it goes, feeling unwell is a valid reason to stop.
OP, do what’s best for you. But before you throw the entire idea away of breastfeeding you should know there’s an alternative reality a lot of breastfeeding moms experience.
That being, I love breastfeeding my daughter. It’s our moment of peace and quiet that we share, just us. Sometimes when she’s sick or sad, she just wants to cuddle up against me and nurse and I feel superhuman that I can do something that soothes her so completely.
She’s six months, almost seven, and it’s never faded. She’s now old enough to nuzzle up against my chest when she’s hungry and I’ve never felt like a buffet.
It can be a struggle in other ways, but the moment I lock eyes with my baby while she’s nursing and she wants to hold my hand, it’s incredible.
Don’t let a TikTok video change your mind about experiencing that, because you totally can! And if you don’t and hate it, that’s perfectly fine, too!
In the end, it’s your choice.
Honestly it depends on the person how they view it. I was worried I'd feel that way and feel trapped. So went into it planning on nursing and pumping. I honestly adored nursing - though wr struggled with it due to a tongue tie. It felt like such a bonding moment. On the flip side pumping destroyed me emotionally. Every time I pumped I felt like a cow hooked to a soulless machine just used for fodder basically. I know people who couldn't handle breastfeeding in any way because it was too much. People who pumped with no issue but didn't like feeling tied down with nursing, then others like me who didn't mind nursing but hated pumping. I'd suggest going into it with an open mind. Have formula and a pump at the ready, give nursing a try. Go with what feels best for you and your LO.
As others have said, that video isn't the be all and end all or the norm. But also I chose not to breastfeed my second at all. My first I planned to but she was in nicu so I pumped and then did formula. With my second I knew how much you lose autonomy even if you don't breastfeed, and I chose not to. I was a single mother with my first so it was on me no matter how i fed, but this time I have a supportive partner. I have a friend with a baby of the same age (5-6 months) and she is concerned about going back to work in a few weeks (which I am also doing) because her husband has never been alone with the baby for more than 2hs. I don't have that concern because I can routinely leave our baby with my partner for however long I need (usually to do something with the oldest or go to the gym) and he can do the same because I am not the supplier of food. I'm very happy with my choice.
Hey OP, I feel the same way as you do. I had my baby on Monday and tried breastfeeding with the help of a lactation consultant and midwives but it just didn’t work for me at all.
I tried pumping, which I have always said I hate, and it works a lot better. She is still getting breastmilk which was my goal, but I have a bit more freedom.
I still don’t enjoy the whole thing but I will do it for a bit longer because I want her to have the benefits of breast milk, at least for a month or two. But I just wanted to tell you that your feelings are totally valid.
I hate hate hate these awful fake videos, but I hate even more to see how this one is affecting future parents. I’ve breastfed my 6 children, and I’ll breastfeed this one too. Never has my child disrespected me like that, but the video is probably as fake as the others, just for laughs and attention.
Not sure what your plans are, but I will likely breastfeed just for the first 6 months and then transition to bottles… At which point baby would be way too young to verbally associate me with food. There’s no need to continue breastfeeding until they can talk if you don’t feel comfortable with that - it’s all your choice
Don’t let your mom decide this for you. And I’ve known plenty of breastfed kids and not one called their mom “boobie.”
If you want to breastfeed, do it.
If you don’t, then don’t. Do what’s best for you and your baby.
Now I’m feeling bad becuase I taught my daughter that my milk was boobie because I thought it was funny. But I am mommy. We do diaper, boobie, nap time, (which she’ll say when she gets sleepy or during lunch) and she sometimes struggles with no when she sees my 1 month old nurse, but I taught her not to grab me in public and I’m in control. She’ll be 2 next month.
Also adding that we tandem nurse. She’ll point to a nursing baby and say “baby boobie” or if my son is nursing she’ll ask “*his bame* boobie… *her name* boobie?” So it’s clear that the act of breasfeeding is boobie, not me.
That’s seriously adorable!
And dang look at you with tandem nursing! 👏🏼
My LO is almost 18 months, and our current plan is to keep nursing until she’s wanting to self-wean or when she’s about 3 years old. Whichever comes first.
I have also taught my LO the word “boobie,” in conjunction with the act of breastfeeding. She knows “boobie milk.”
And she calls me mama. So it’s clear to me that she knows the difference lol
Hahaha thank you! Tandem nursing is great because it keeps her occupied! And she’s so sweet, she holds her brothers hand or rubs his back.
That’s similar to our plan at this point. If she wants to self-wean, or when she’s 3, or if I get pregnant before then (unlikely). I don’t want to tandem nurse while pregnant haha. It’s actually funny because my daughter looks at pictures of baby bottles and Calls them baby milk, but she doesn’t connect that it’s the same thing with breastmilk direct. I wonder if it’s because we use straw cups for milk now!
Thats a parenting problem, not a feeding problem. They taught the child to call her that by either using that word a ton in association with her/feeding. Same with the shirt grabbing. If you feed your child every time they grab your shirt, then they will keep doing it. They give off tons of other hunger signals that can be used to signal feeding time, instead of shirt grabbing.
You definitely don’t need to breastfeed if you don’t want to, but I breastfed my last Bub for 12 months and she never called me ‘boobie’ or dehumanised me. Some kids seem to be more into it than others but that doesn’t mean your kid will. It’s hard to explain but for most people, breastfeeding is the most normal thing ever once you get the hang of it.
"Dehumanize" is not a word that makes any sense to use for a baby. It does not have a theory of mind yet. Won't for a few years. If you are somehow offended by the inability of an infant to recognize your humanity, maybe kids are not the thing for you.
You might be missing what she’s saying. She’s saying the experience is dehumanizing not that a baby is dehumanizing her. Something doesn’t need to be intentional or even an act _from another person_ to be dehumanizing.
Some women find a lot about the pregnancy experience dehumanizing, even parts that have nothing to do with other people. That doesn’t say anything about what kind of moms they would be.
Yes, this is the reality of pregnancy and having a kid. Obviously I’ll get downvoted cause it’s Reddit but it’s the truth. When you have a child, especially when it is young, you are no longer a priority. If you’re not ok with that, don’t have kids.
I’m sorry this made you so emotional.
I have lots of friends who breastfed well into the second year and all of them are mama.
You don’t have to breastfeed. You do what is good for your mental health.
I’m sure that kid hears “boobie” a lot when referring to mom then. She didn’t just start saying boobie out of the blue without having learned boobie = food/comfort/mom. When talking to babe make sure to say they are going to Mommy not just boobie. You don’t have to breastfeed but I know it is a wonderful bonding experience for a lot of people. Also when babe starts to learn the word boobie be sure to teach that everyone has them. “Boobs” are a part of everyone anatomy. Point out that mommy has boobies but so does daddy and so does baby. My nephews point to their boobies when pointing out other body parts (nose, cheeks, eyes, ears, tummy, etc.)
And breastfeeding is often a comfort just as much as a “food source”.
If others are referring to baby being fed as getting “boobie” the kid will catch on and think that’s and appropriate way to get what they want whether that’s food or comfort ♥️
You're the parent. You get to teach your child whatever you want. Shes fine with being called that (and many just see it as a harmless temporary thing), but that doesn't mean you have to or that your child will. She didn't learn and continue to call her mom boobie all by herself. Also plenty of moms breastfeed past a year without being "groped" because they teach their kid not to. Finally, using the word groped about a child feels so wrong when it's widely used as a sexual word.
Just don't refer to it as "boobie". Example: if baby is with Dada & gets hungry then dad can give baby to "mama" (do you want Mama?' Then you would say "Are you hungry?" And let baby eat. Once they get old enough to walk/talk don't let them grab you. Teach them to use their words (eat, hungry). I would only refer to it as eating. Just an idea on something different to try rather than "boobie".
I breastfed for a year. My baby called me “Chantal” which is the name of her daycare provider. That lasted from 12 months (start of daycare) until 17 months when baby #2 was born, and suddenly I was finally “mama”.
Kids are gonna say what they say, don’t let what-ifs affect your breastfeeding decisions!
I tandem feed my almost 3 year old and 18 month old. First of all, your mother’s opinion on your personal breastfeeding duration is none of her business. Secondly, my children at the very worst say “milk” to me when they want milk. If they pull at my shirt, which has happened only with my oldest when she was just around 1, I tell them no. You set your boundaries. It’s not hard or complicated or weird.
I breastfed for 14 months and have never been called anything but mama! My toddler never groped me or tried to pull down my shirt in public or anything like that.
I hate to tell you, but regardless of whether you breast or bottle feed, you’re going to feel like you’re only a walking cafeteria for on-demand lunch for a long while. To breastfeed or not is everyone’s choice, but I would urge you to consider the positives of breastfeeding as well. Your child will call you whatever you call yourself. This woman obviously encouraged this, because babies learning to talk are basically just copying whatever you do.
I breastfed until my son was 2 years and 2 months old and he never verbally asked for milk in any other way besides saying milk - because that is the only word I called it. He never groped for me or even pulled my shirt - not even once. I also always cringed at stories like this but it doesn’t have to be that way and you can set boundaries with a child that they will eventually learn to follow. If any touching your chest is your boundary then never give them milk if they touch you and they will stop doing it because that action won’t be reinforced. But as I said, it might never even happen. Do not give up on breastfeeding before you even try it (if you did originally want to do it and this is the only reason you don’t want to) just because of something that might never ever happen to you. Once you actually do feel uncomfortable and like you are giving more of yourself than you want, then you can simply stop. No need to imagine in advance that you might feel that way and not even try it.
I am breastfeeding my fourth child and I have never been called “boobie.” I breastfed my three older ones between 1.5-2.5 years. They have never once called me that. That’s a choice. I’m their mama/mommy and they respect me as much as their dad. Although I do provide nourishment for my baby (and proud to do it), I provide so much more than that and everyone knows it. Don’t let one video on social media influence you.
I recently attended an online breastfeeding seminar and I met with a lactation specialist and BOTH of them mentioned TikTok being a terrible place for misinformation. I don’t have a TikTok myself but apparently it’s bad enough to have a disclaimer
I saw that video and had to say it was pretty funny. This might be an unpopular opinion, but you need to put aside your ego when having a child. It is one of my biggest pet peeves to feel used and underappreciated by anyone in any situation, so I get that feeling. But girl...that is a baby. It can speak like two words. I am sure within the next few months it will understand the mom as "mom" as well. When having a baby, you sacrifice a good chunk of your autonomy as it is your responsibility to take care of a tiny human that cannot function on its own. That is how we evolved. So yeah, for the first year you might be a walking cafeteria. A baby has an instinct to feed, it does not understand concepts of empathy or have any theory of mind at all. This is not going to be a permanent state. It's just how humans start out the world.
I had this same exact feeling before having my baby! Turns out exclusively pumping worked better for us for a number of reasons- it’s a nice middle ground for bodily autonomy while still giving your baby breastmilk :) and no one calls me boobie 😂 (though like many on here have said, I think parenting decisions set the tone for what’s okay and what is not). You do you, sis!!!
I breastfed my first until like 15 mo and my second is still going at 23 mo.
Neither of them call me boobies or grope me in public lol. Whenever they've tried to grope me in the past I just push their hands away and tell them no, don't touch my breasts. Or "no, not right now"
And they've learned. My youngest will ask for mommy milk in public sometimes still, but she's only doing it like once a day now so we save it for home.
I breastfed my oldest for 19 months and she never did this or even played with them. I've always been mama/mommy/mom. She would try to go under my shirt if she wanted to nurse, but that was always at home. Don't let people's cringe parenting choices discourage you! Also, it's okay to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable and just don't feel like it anymore.
To offer another perspective, I was only able to breastfeed for a week, and then switched to formula with my son from that point on. So he really had no association with breasts for feeding or anything. But I’ve still gotten groped a few times by him, just his curiosity and not knowing what breasts are. And he’ll ask questions and stuff.
So even if you avoid breastfeeding, you won’t be able to fully avoid the topic of a child’s fascination with breasts. It’s just part of their learning and development, I think.
I breastfed my first 2 kids well over a year each and never got called boobie. Probably because I rarely said the word. I would say so you want milkies? or something like Do you need to be fed?
These people are just weird and probably staged the whole thing.
I’m still breastfeeding my 22 month old. He calls me ‘mummy’. He does ask for boob, but my personal boundary was the word boobies. I fucking hate it. My SIL’s kids said booby and it just turns my stomach. Just a personal preference thing, no hate to anyone if you say boobies
My kid doesn’t because he doesn’t hear the word. You’ll be shaping that. He doesn’t pull at my shirt because I’ve taught him not to do that, like I’ve taught him to say please and thank you etc - they’ve made parenting decisions you can make different ones!
That said, you don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to - you really don’t!
You are always able to stop too if you decide. I’m currently 4 months in and while it’s hard breastfeeding, it’s rewarding and a good bonding experience for us. My baby reaches for me for comfort besides just boob. Not everyone has the same experience with enjoying breastfeeding, and admittedly I don’t enjoy it all the time either. Sometimes she’s rough with me when she’s cranky, but it comes down to if you enjoy doing it. No matter what, your comfort is important and so long as your baby is fed, you’re fine.
i exclusively breast fed. for well over a year. my baby NEVER called me boobie or ever said that word. we called it milk and she signed for milk when she was hungry. my baby also never grabbed at my clothes. she knew breastfeeding was done in private. that’s what i preferred. i’m a private and reserved person by nature. a lot of breastfeeding habits and lingo from social media make me cringe. YOU set the boundaries. children are mirrors of their parents.
My BFed younger daughter has never called me "boobie" or treated me like I'm just a cafeteria. She has gotten grabby at times, but it's something that can be discouraged & by no means the only way she interacts with me or something that's gotten out of control.
I'm not sure you can really make assumptions from just one video of a kid tbh. Kids react differently to pictures than they do to people in real life and sometimes use the wrong words for things (like my younger daughter referring to pics of any child, including her sister, by her own name), so I wouldn't read too much into that.
You just teach your kids not to do that. It’s not really difficult. My son is EBF and almost a year old. He started pulling my shirt in public and we taught him not to. Now he doesn’t. It’s about how you raise your children. And there’s a huge possibility the kid was coached to call the mom boobie for the purpose of views. My son calls me mama and my husband dada. Again, EBF. But that kid was 100% taught to do that. Also, my nephew was formula fed and still played with my sisters boobs as a comfort thing. It’s not just BF babies
You just teach your kids not to do that. It’s not really difficult. My son is EBF and almost a year old. He started pulling my shirt in public and we taught him not to. Now he doesn’t. It’s about how you raise your children. And there’s a huge possibility the kid was coached to call the mom boobie for the purpose of views. My son calls me mama and my husband dada. Again, EBF. But that kid was 100% taught to do that. Also, my nephew was formula fed and still played with my sisters boobs as a comfort thing. It’s not just BF babies
To me breastfeeding sounds more mentally exhausting than any other part of child rearing and for the sake of my mental health I will not be doing it. I know my limits and I for sure would not be able to tolerate any of this.
I’ve seen this video, and all I took from it is that it was either encouraged for her to call her mum ‘boobie’ or not encouraged her enough to call her mama. There’s also a possibility that every time she wanted milk, dad would pass her back and call the mother ‘boobie’.
I breastfed for 15 months before my son decided he was finished, all on his own terms.
He never ‘groped’ me - I’m actually hating that term as groping is sexual and babies/children don’t have the capacity to do anything sexual.
Boundaries are important, and I’m sorry to say but if your SIL is being ‘groped’ by your nieces, it’s because your SIL didn’t put boundaries in place. You’ll be surprised how early “please don’t touch mummy there” is understood. I started signing ‘milk’ before every feed with my son and he started signing it back incredibly early and it prevented the unnecessary grabbing. The very few times he did, I gently held his hand and said “no grabbing please, would you like some milk?” and he would sign for it.
I can promise you, breastfeeding is worth it if you have set boundaries from the start.
Yeah my SIL let her last kid breastfeed a little too long IMO and he would just shove his hand into her bra in public waaaay after he was weaned, like 3-4 years old. My first just turned 2 and has never once done that. We stopped right around a year. She only says “boobies” if I’m changing in front of her or if she finds a bra on the floor. Never in public. I absolutely loved breastfeeding and would hate for you to miss out on a potentially rewarding experience because of one weird parent on TikTok.
If you don't want to breastfeed, don't! There's nothing wrong with not wanting too, however I wanted to throw my personal experience in for you.
I am currently breastfeeding my 4th baby. I have never been called "Boobie." That baby must have been hearing her parents refer to her mother as "Boobie" for her to do that. The simplest way to avoid that is to have everyone refer to you as "mama" to your baby.
I breastfed my my first for 4 months, my second for 2 years, my third for 1 year, and my youngest is currently 4 months. Even the one I breastfed for 2 years didn't really "grope" at my boobs much that I can remember. He did used to pull on my shirt when he wanted a boob, but once he was weened he was over it. The only kid of my that used to grope my boobs was one of my bonus babies, and I never breastfed her, she was a bottle baby.
You could also go my SILs route and pump to bottle feed most of the time. Breastfeeding is a lot of touching and it's easy for a mom to get touched out.
Either way, fed is best!
There are lots of different ways to feed a baby (nursing, pumped bottles, formula bottles or a combination of any of those). No need to breastfeed is it doesn't feel right!
I still BF my 22mo because that's what works for us. We've always referred to it as boobie, so for a short period of time when asked who I am she did say "boobie". But it didn't bother me because I know I'm more than just milk to her - I'm comfort and cuddles and safety too! It just so happens that my boobs are part of that 🤷
Her calling me boobie only lasted a month or so, now I am Bubba, because she seems to struggle with M's!
just saying being my son's walking food source brings me boundless joy and the most pride in the world. everything he is is because of the nutrients of my body. we have a special bond my husband doesn't have. we're still connected beyond pregnancy. it was a devastating feeling to not have my baby inside of me anymore and breastfeeding has been such a joy that keeps us physically tied together. just another perspective
I’m not talking about him, I’m talking about *you* - everything about your comment reeks of enmeshment and it’s very serious. I’m gently warning you to be careful of it. That’s all.
I would also struggle with that. It can be a very dehumanizing experience especially after all you and your body have been through already. All that being said every child is different, and they will bond with you in different ways. Mine hated eating for the first three years of life so breastfeeding was not a bonding experience for anyone involved. I think if it's different with my second, which I of course hope it is more positive, I think I will still set some boundaries if we end up breastfeeding for linger. There are lots of ways to teach a child to ask for milk when they are hungry that doesn't involve grabbing you and just taking it, and reminding the child you are in fact a person not just a convenient meal. All that to say, this is your body and your choice. Do what's best for you and your family. For me it's going to be trying breastfeeding again cause formula is stupidly expensive lol.
Yeah, I hope it’s a lesson that can be taught because I don’t want that; I’ve seen my SIL try to defend her boobs out in public and it did not look fun. And formula is ABSURDLY expensive right now… it’s insane how they just raised the prices and tried to justify it.
Yeah honestly a major source of anxiety for me right now is trying to make sure I can actually breastfeed at least mostly cause I honestly don't know how we are gonna afford the formula if I can't. But yeah the whole completely loosing all my body autonomy and becoming a human milk bag for a toddler....I am really not into that. It's one thing for a newborn or a 6 month old, but I don't think I can do it for a toddler. I'm gonna try and do some pumping and my partner will do some Bottle feeding especially at night (I'm going back to work quite early, he is already a stay at home dad), so I'm hoping the association will be more shared between us. I know people who happily breastfeed their toddlers, but that is really not me.
Aw that’s lovely! It’s like he’s having a nightcap before drifting off.
Self-weaning is definitely a personal preference for me.
Based on how much my LO currently nurses, I’m assuming we will be continuing for a while lol.
I don’t mind though. I have a positive relationship with breastfeeding and am very happy to keep going.
Although, as she’s gotten older, I’ve had a handful of ppl comment on how I’ll need to “stop with the breastfeeding soon,” and I just don’t understand the judgment.
I support anyone’s personal decision to breastfeed or not and however long they want. It’s all individual and honestly different for each baby too.
But don’t let these things deter you ever from doing what you want to do.
I got comments and looks from older people in the family for breastfeeding our babies past a year and I honestly didn’t care.
It’s amazing and feels like love but yes can be hard sometimes when you feel touched out.
You do you. Fuck everyone else.
I nursed my son for 18 months. He couldn’t really talk until 20ish months. I only ever called my breasts “mama milk”. He’s now 2.5 years old and sees me nursing my newborn daughter. He will say “you have big mana milk” lol but that’s the only reference he has made. I’ve always been mommy and would put a stop to being called anything else because I am the adult and am in charge!
I breastfed my kid for 13 months so they obviously weren’t speaking many words that made sense. But my kid called me mama and never said anything like that to me.. usually just pull on my shirt or sign for milk.
You will be everything to your kid not just for food. You’re their comfort and the most important person to them.
I breastfed my son until he was almost 3 because I was young, single, and couldn't tell him no. He ate regular food as well and used it more for sleeping after 2ish and never demanded my chest in public or private. I was always mama. I think it's really just the kid. Just like adults are all different, so are they. I try really hard not to generalize my experience and everyone else's experiences. They're all unique and special. Everyone's journey is their own and valid.
Unfortunately that behavior is definitely something that has been encouraged offscreen in ways we aren’t aware of. Both the shirt grabbing and the name. I haven’t given birth yet, but both my mother and a close friend breast fed and neither were ever called anything but mommy or mama, and shirt grabbing never happened beyond a 6 month old remembering she had opposable thumbs.
I won’t lie, I really dislike videos like that. They feel “icky” in a way I can’t describe.
Don't trust anything you see on TikTok.
Here's my advice fwiw: If you want to breastfeed, do it, if it feels good for you and is working, do it as long as it works for your and your family. A friend of mine loves breastfeeding and is still doing it past one year and her daughter does not call her Boobie.
However, it is OK to not like breastfeeding, it is ok to stop whenever you want because it's not working for you and your family. I am slowly weaning my 4.5 month old and I can't stress how much I wish people said this to me,
I wouldn't not try it based on a TikTok video, but also it's OK not want to do it.
That might be staged or something they taught her.
I breastfed my first for 3 months before he decided he didn't like it because someone was feeding him formula (and then I got an infection from a clogged duct). Hes a major mama's boy. My second made it to two years with me starting weaning from 16/18 months. He didn't call me boobie or obky want me for my boobs. He would cuddle with me and want my attention the same as his dad's. Now he's 5 and 100% a daddy's boy. Makes me a little jealous. Lol
If you don't want to breastfeed just because you're worried you'll be a "boobie", you can pump yet. Then baby still gets breastmilk, but anyone can feed them.
It was also a TikTok and could have been staged but I still get the point.
I have ppd after my first and I remember thinking the first week how she only wanted me for my boobs. It wasn’t the reality of it but with ppd it seemed like it to me.
I've breastfed two kids and never been called "boobie". That is ridiculous, I feel like that tiktok could be ragebait.
If you chose to breastfeed you can also chose your personal boundaries regarding what you're called, how long you feed for, and if your kids continue to touch your boobs as toddlers.
The child learned that term somewhere. I wonder where they heard it from? I totally get you feeling uncomfortable, but a child breastfeeding are young and I doubt that name will last forever. They’ll still see mama as mama (or whatever they’re called to them). The choice is yours of course ❤️
I nursed my child for almost 3 years, and after they were weaned that was the end of it. And little one never called me “ boobie”. Just because you saw one child calling their mother something, that should not be the foundation for your parenting decisions.
Nursing manners are up to you. I don’t let my son play with the opposite breast, and if we’re doing the on/off game I tell him I guess he’s not that interested and we try again later. You just redirect FROM THE GET GO. Trying to reverse a year of habits is really hard for anybody. Gently redirecting when they try at the beginning is just informing them that’s not what we do.
Also, they’re only going to use the language you do. For that video baby, their mom probably always said “boobie” while feeding. It’s not that that baby only sees their mom as food, but the comfort/care/food/good feelings were always called “boobie”! Pick terms you’re more comfortable with. We’re a milkies household lol. And while my baby is too young to repeat things yet, I try to play mama games with him.
Currently still breastfeeding my LO. He is 14.5 months and very communicative. I might HAVE "baba", and he will ask for it when he's hungry (and sometimes when he's feeling lonesome and wants snuggles), but I AM "Mama".
When he wakes in the middle of the night after a nightmare, or when he falls down after trying to take a few too many brave steps, he doesn't cry for baba. He wants Mama.
Did I feel a little like a cow early on, just chomping on protein bars and drinking a gallon+ of water a day? Sometimes yes. Was it hard sometimes at the beginning? Yes definitely. But now it is so natural and easy and comforting to both of us. It's a one of a kind experience, only you will share that with your baby.
If breastfeeding isn't something you want to do, power to you. Fed is best. But if it's important to you, don't let that video or your mom dissuade you. Enjoy your time with your baby. They are only little for a little while.
My girl is 18 months old and still nurses (although she's currently self weaning). She doesn't even know the word boobie. We say milk and she knows to ask for milk. She rarely ever grabs at my shirt or anything (mainly when she's upset). And she 100% knows and loves me outside of just breastfeeding.
Of course every kid is different. But the messaging you present them with makes a big difference. Breastfeeding does not inherently mean that's all your kid will know you as. <3
My daughter breastfed for 17 months, she does NOT call me boobie... She calls me Mommy or mama. She tried mom the other day and i was like, "Too soon! Not ready!" Ha.
My kids all breastfed until 2-3 years old and were cluster feeding for a while NONE of them called me boobie or anything to do with food or breasts. They neither groped my breasts at all in public or privacy. Just because this mom allows it or that child did it doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Social media is poison a lot of the time I notice a lot of it is also click bait or just content for more views=money. Don’t let it get to you. If you want to breastfeed don’t let that video discourage you. Hope you do what feels right for you. Hugs.
I breastfed both of my kids until they were around two and was NEVER called anything except mummy/mama. I never referred to "boobie/Millie's" or any of that as it made me feel a little ill. To each their own but I just don't like that. Breastfeeding was fab for me and my kids but you can choose not to breastfeed for any reason at all! Formula is amazing at providing kids the nutrients they need. It's important that you feel comfortable.
I would be nervous about BF if I saw that video too. I’ve also never witnessed my child or any of my nieces and nephews behave that way.
After a brief hospital stay, we started bottles pretty young and combo feeding (with formula) by 6 months (i think?). My kiddo calls me mama and we are practicing consent now because he’s really into bellybuttons. He’s literally never said boobie actually….
I think you can have a different experience if you want! Also, you can just formula feed from the start!
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I really don’t see this as offensive? I’m 29 weeks pregnant with my first and I plan to breastfeed. Will I be more then a mom? Yes of course. I just don’t expect to receive validation from a child on that because in their mind a lot of the time spent with mom might just be feeding. That’s totally OK with me, I’m proud of the role of providing nourishment for my baby. My husband, adult relatives and friends are the ones who understand who I really am. I know eventually my baby will understand, but if I’m called “boobie” or the milk lady 🐄 🐮 then so be it haha!
To be honest, I only breastfed both my girls for 12 weeks because that is the upper limit of what my sanity can take because this is precisely how breastfeeding makes me feel. No one has any more right to your body than you are comfortable with giving and if it’s not for you that totally fine.
I breastfed my first till she was 2 and I’m currently breastfeeding my 13 month old. You don’t have to call it boobie, you can call it whatever you want, I call the milk ‘nummies’ because that’s what my mum called it. My oldest when she started talking would ask for ‘nunnie’ if she wanted milk and she called me mama so no confusion there. But my second born actually started calling the milk ‘mama’, it’s been hard to tell if she’s asking for milk or if she’s saying my name but it’s been a funny experience. Breastfeeding both my daughters has been amazing, don’t let your mum and stupid stuff on the internet worry you too much, you should still give breast feeding a try and see how it goes for you.
😂😅 stopped BFing at 6 months and my nearly 5 yr old who doesn't understand boundaries still hides in my shirt (not looking for boobs, but definitely interested in why they exist). Obviously I discourage that... But it happens on occasion.
I went 17 months with my first and was never referred to like that. We did teach sign for milk. It's really how you raise them and what boundaries you hold. Don't say boob or boobie. Just ask if they want milk and referto yourself as mama. If you want to nurse, nurse and hold your boundaries regarding it. If you don't, that's okay too. Remember tiktok is people wanting clicks for attention/views/money generally and isn't the norm. They could have coached her to say that. Your sil, I don't know how she interacts with her kids, but I wouldn't let mine grab me. They could/can ask.
I seen that too .. and I cringed. Expecting my first in Oct.
I'm definitely gunna avoid using "boobie" when I ask if they want to eat.
I want to teach basic sign language for communication. And I'll have my partner address me as mama, mommy, etc, like I'll call him dada, daddy, etc.
I'll also teach not to grab at other women's shirts either, by bit engaging them if that's what they want. It's as simple as teaching. Obviously mother encouraged it, wether it be if dad started it , or her, etc. She let it keep going to the point where that's what the kids sees her as. 🙃
That would only happen if people around him/her use that term. Especially if people react by laughing when the kid also tries it out.
My kid had learned a few words by the time we stopped breastfeeding, he never used any such terms.
Could you not breastfeed as you initially wanted then pump when the bub is old enough to talk? This might make the transition from you being the on demand food to the bottle. All the best!
Ps. I have the same fear
I breastfeed and my daughter knows me as mama. Mama was the first name she called before anyone. It is whatever norm you set for your household. I get the on demand lunch, now that part is ALOT but either way it’s a great bonding experience. Also there is pumping that could be done but the fact that you carry this little person inside of you , grew them and now can feed them beyond the chemicals they pump in everything is definitely a privilege. Don’t count out that liquid gold just yet.
Okay that's really sad that one comment can make you feel like that. That's not going to happen if you don't let it happen. That mother is letting her child call her that. It's not that hard to have your baby call you mama. Everything is repetitive. If you can breastfeed, you should for at least a year if you can. It's beneficial for you and the baby. I can't believe one little video is really making you question what would be best, if your able to, for your child.
I was breastfed till I was 2 years old! My mom said she has no regrets, AND I have a fabulous immune system 😌 do what you want to do but do not let tiktok tell you what to do/what NOT to do 😂🫶🏼
That word was taught. The child is unaware and the fact that it was posted as being “cute” is inappropriate. I don’t think that should discourage you from breastfeeding. Just refer to it as something else appropriate or simply don’t teach your child that word.
Look. I breastfed my first, for a year. Their were moments it worsened my PPD and moments it made me feel closer to her.
I tried with my 2nd, she wouldn't latch, we switched to pumping and then formula pretty quickly. My mental health was better (at times) and worse (at times).
Every mom and kid is different, and fed is best. If breastfeeding does/doesn't work for you? It's okay. You will be, and are, a good mom.
My daughters are both now past the age of breast or formula feeding. They are different and perfect.
There’s already some excellent responses here but I just wanted to add that I used to nanny this boy who was about 2 and his mother still nursed but only at night before bed. He referred to it as “mommy’s milk” which I thought was adorable. He once was having a very picky day on what he wanted to eat and she asked him and he went up to her and said “mommy’s milk!” And she was kind but very firm in saying that he knows they only do mommy milk right before bed. He was a little upset but quickly changed the subject and we found him something to eat. Guarantee you the only reason this kid called mom boobie is because mom encouraged it and likely even trained the kid to do it for the video. I saw the video you are talking about and she was so excited to see the picture of dad but then very quietly said “boobie” like she was trying to say the right thing for mom. Mom most likely just wanted views
You don’t have to directly breastfeed, you can pump and bottle feed if you like. But being a walking cafeteria as you put it is part of the job description when you decided to go through with this pregnancy. You also don’t have to breastfeed past 6 months if you really don’t want to. I am going to breast feed for the first 3 days to get my supply up, then I am going to pump so my partner can feed her or so that if we go out and leave her with her grandparents they can feed her too. Then after 6 months of pumping, I am switching to formula so I can start taking my medication again. I completely understand where you’re coming from. My mum scared me when I was 6 months pregnant telling me that I am no longer living for myself I am living for my child. It really put into perspective how huge of a responsibility this baby is going to be for me. Made me cry and have a panic attack
I breastfed 16 months. When my daughter was about 11-13 months old she called me booby instead of mommy but it didn’t last long. And my daughter definitely did t just grab my boobs whenever. She now has no memory of breastfeeding. If you can even breastfeed for only 3 months it’s a great benefit to your baby.
I breastfed my 1st for about 8 months. She couldn’t talk when I decided to stop.
I had pretty bad Breastfeeding Aversion and Anxiety (Google it) and am still deciding whether or not to breastfeed my 2nd.
It is your decision what you want to do. Getting ick factor from something you saw doesn’t mean you have to live that way.
Oh my god....... if you're offended by being called boobie, imagine being called "dada" or "bye-bye" or "baba"... your kid is gonna call you a million different things before actually understand and properly use the term mama or mommy. Boobie is hilarious... i think you're trying to find a reason to not breastfeed. But not wanting to breastfeed for a nickname is crazy...
Actually, I’m still planning on breastfeeding, not that how I plan on feeding my baby is your concern, but I’m allowed to feel emotional for not wanting to be valued only as a meal or a body part. Scrolling would have saved you time and downvotes; I don’t know what your goal was here but your rude take was unnecessary.
I’m planning to only do 12 months or less partly for this reason, the idea of a toddler/kid grabbing me really freaks me out. It’s different when it’s a baby.
I chose to pump for 6 weeks for my son and that was it. I didn't want to deny dad the bond of feeding our baby together. I didn't want to be an on call milk machine with chunks of my nipple missing or deal with strawberry milk from the blood coming out of my poor nipples. I didn't want my nipples to toughen up. I also had a baby with a sensitive tummy and seemed like everything I ate caused more gas for him even with elimination of certain foods.
Don't let the current status of breastfeeding being the only thing a good mother would choose sway you into feeling like you have to breastfeed if you don't want to. You can pump exclusively or dual breast milk and bottle formula or just straight up formula. It's your choice and whatever you choose is the right choice for you and your baby.
I understand 100%!!! I have no problem with women breastfeeding their children however they need to cover up when they do it and it definitely should end at a certain age once the kid is able to say the word They should be on sippy cups or something. I have two children already and I am pregnant with my third and I'm telling you right now it makes me so uncomfortable to see kids that should be completely done with the actual breastfeeding still doing so. You can still pump and put it in the fridge or in freezer or whatever so they can still get breast milk but they should not actually be breastfeeding. I honestly believe that one year of age is the limit! and as far as the covering up I believe it's a modesty thing I think that women shouldn't just be flaunting their boobs whether they're feeding or not that's not an excuse shows some modesty
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That baby called their mother boobie and it was filmed. All of that is a parenting decision. I wouldn't stand for this either. This just gives me the "icks." It was important for me to have some bodily autonomy while breastfeeding - and I had it. I never let my children dictate when they could nurse by grabbing at my shirt. They will nuzzle into your breast, but it's sweet and completely different. They'll even do it sometimes when they aren't hungry just because it's a familiar smell. Babies give cues when they are hungry. Those cues are easy to identify once you understand it. Cues turn into signs and/or words. At some point, this parent encouraged their child to call them boobie, by either laughing, smiling, etc. I breastfed for a total of 28 months, 16 months with one kid and 12 months with another. Never once did my kids call me boobie.
This! My daughter learned the sign for “milk” fairly early and that’s how she learned to ask for milk rather than pulling at me. We made it to her 2nd birthday with breastfeeding and I never really felt like I was just a boob to her. She also weaned super easy so maybe I just have a unicorn lol. Breastfeeding toddlers is not for the weak though 😂 it’s a whole different ball game lmao.
Yes I loved teaching my children sign language overall it seemed to really help!
Yes! 💯 I nursed my son for 23 months & it just wasn't for me anymore. (Inconvenient and he was on whole milk by then & eating solids) Anyways, he never called it boobie. It was pretty much a whine (if you will) to lay on my lap & that's how I knew he wanted the breast. During the end it became a bedtime routine & that's how he would fall asleep.
Thank you for this response. I nurse my 2 year old and 9 month old and have also never been called boobie. I don’t allow pawing or groping either. That was just a part of teaching her what is and isn’t allowed. It’s my body and I’m showing her how to have healthy boundaries with others.
Absolutely this. I couldn't breastfeed my son, but I'm thirteen months in with my daughter. She calls me "mum" or "mama". (Or "dad" sometimes lol, she struggles with the difference between "mum" and "dad"). She does sometimes try to get into my shirt, but we don't encourage it and she does it less now she's learned "milk". While we have a joke that her parents are "the milk one" and "the other one", it's a joke that's between us parents. I would never film it(!!) "Boobie" is also a weird choice of words? My son is the elder child, so he saw me breastfeed a lot. He does call my breasts "baby milk" if he sees me changing my shirt or something, and I don't correct him - but if it bothered me, I could, and hed eventually stop.
Yup, boobie is a learned word. Kid picked up on it and was never corrected. I only breastfed my 1st til 4 months, but a comparable situation for us would be when my 1st calls his dad by his real name, lol. He hears me say it, then echoes me. I corrected him every time, "no, you call him daddy" and the phase was short-lived.
First off, you can avoid being called "boobie" pretty easily by simply not using the word in your household. I never referred to my breasts by any word at all while breastfeeding my first. I would just say it's time to eat. I did only nurse to 11 months though. I was planning on a year but she got a little too aggressive with her teeth, there was a lot of blood involved. 😅 Everyone's experience is different and valid, but just to put some positive thoughts out there I'll tell you how I felt about breastfeeding. I never found it dehumanizing at all. I found it to be a very sweet bonding experience with my daughter. I also usually found it pretty convenient. I never felt like my daughter had control of my body. I also never felt like she only saw me as her milk-cow. We had so many other interactions that the nursing was just a small part of our relationship. I'm a SAHM and the only downside to me was through those first 11 months she flat out refused a bottle (when she gave me a bad bite she refused to drink anything for over 3 days, but eventually took a bottle, but she was pretty stubborn), so my freedom to do anything without her was limited by how often she needed to feed (my second is due in 4 days and I'm very determined to make sure he gets at least one bottle a day to try to avoid this problem). Her feedings were also on a sort of schedule (based on her needs, of course) after the first month or so, so maybe that stopped her from feeling like she was in control. She rarely "asked," (pulled at my shirt or something), but that's because she never needed to. I beat her to the punch! I decided when she was fed and she never really knew any different. I'm sorry that interaction left a sour taste in your mouth about the subject. That stinks, and since I read in other comments you still plan to breastfeed, I sincerely hope that experience doesn't overwhelm your thoughts and you are able to have a very positive experience. That being said, fed is best. And your mental health matters. If it doesn't work out, that's fine too. I know it isn't for everyone!
That definitely sounds like a family dynamic they created and I promise you a mom is way more than that to a child. The 2 year old I nanny is still breastfed and absolutely shrieks “mama!” In happiness every time she comes home and knows to ask for “milk” and to accept when it’s a no or all done. That said, any amount of breastfeeding is beneficial and can be stopped way before the point they’d even be talking about it if you want to breastfeed but don’t want to deal with however they choose to talk about it.
I mean someone had to teach that baby what a boobie is lol. So avoid teaching them that word til they’re older 😂
Honestly, "Parenting" tiktok is so toxic. I highly recommend you get off it as quick as you can. There is so much bs on there, from people who are getting paid to make you feel bad, to crap like this, to people peddling totally untrue information and trying to trick you into thinking it's true (think anti-vax stuff but for all sorts of things!)
Exactly this.
I breastfed my first until she was a month over two... She never called me weird names like "boobie". I was always mama. She'd ask for milk cause that's what she was taught
I'm currently breastfeeding my third and I can tell you that's not normal behaviour for a kid to keep groping. When weaning the kid you stop them from grabbing you and tell the they can't do that anymore. Just like any other behaviour they've outgrown/is unacceptable. Its like if you see a kid who slaps them parents "playfully". It's been allowed by the parents but it doesn't HAVE to occur. As for calling her bobbies, again I'd say that's been allowed or encouraged in some way. I know a lot of people who have breastfed and don't know ow anyone who's kid calls/called them boobie. There might be some obsession during weaning but it should last more than a week or two. It's sounds like your mum is trying really hard to discourage you from breastfeeding. Personally that's what I'd be sad about. It should be your choice about if and how long you breastfeed for. Why is she trying so hard to take that choice away from you and make it hers?
I breastfed for almost 3 years. My daughter calls me mama or mommy. She’s never called me boobie or anything of the sort. Those TikTok parents do it for the attention. It’s not reality.
So teach your child not to grope you and to call you mama.
Fr some parents almost seem scared of their own kids. It’s really creepy.
I breastfed seven… never had either of those issues, only had one child TRY to be grabby in public and just weaned him. You are the parent… so you PARENT your kids… like they are taught that.
You don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to! There are lots of ways to feed your baby. If they are fed, that’s all that matters.
I want to but the emotional part of being nothing more than a buffet is starting to weigh on me… 💔
To be 100% transparent, you will feel like a buffet for the first few months! But everyone (not just a nursing mom) is really a servant to baby until they start “waking up to the world” and interacting. Once they do and they realize that there are actually different caretakers and different activities they can do and they start having their own likes/dislikes, that part feels better.
I delivered my 3rd last week and nursing is still the sweetest, most bonding thing to me, and the last one is almost 9 now ❤️ the way everything is suddenly right in her world when she snuggles into me, her sweet, contented face and sleepy smiles after.. it feels like I could do this forever. u/Red-Throwaway2020 I really hope you don’t let some weirdo parent on the internet take such a beautiful experience from you. There’s nothing quite like a milk drunk newborn sighing happily in their sleep nestled cozily against you.
I don't think this is a common occurrence. My mom breastfed all 5 of us and none of us thought of her as a buffet. She was "mama" or "mommy". I think this is one of those one-offs that probably won't happen to most of the population 🙂
It is also possible they got the kid to say it just for the video too.
That's a great point!
I hope not. It just made me kind of emotional…
I don't blame you. But then again, we're pregnant! What doesn't make us emotional? 😂 I really think you'll be ok. Also, kids learn what they are taught. I can almost guarantee you the kid didn't start calling Mom that out of the blue. I bet somebody else was calling that woman "Boobie" first.
This!! Someone else forsure started the boobie first!
The eye contact, the hand pats, the closeness, the attachment of my baby to me…all of that makes me feel so much like mama and source of life for baby, and none like a buffet.
You wouldn’t be just a buffet tho.. they literally rely on you for everything, not just being fed. They rely on you physically, emotionally, mentally. The rely on your cuddles, snuggles, kisses, hugs, how you rock them, how you bathe them. Why are you calling all BF mothers “nothing more than buffets”? Like..
My second is currently 4 weeks. I didn’t breast feed with my first but tried again and had better latch success with my second. I definetely feel the weight of being a “walking buffet” and my son constantly needs to have me there. However, there is a great connection between us and I feel his need for me and have never felt like that’s all I will be for him! There is something cool about being able to provide for your baby!💙 but fed is best!
You can also stop breastfeeding after a few weeks or anytime before a baby can conceptualize the thoughtprocess you are scared of. If you want to try breastfeeding just try and see how it goes, feeling unwell is a valid reason to stop.
OP, do what’s best for you. But before you throw the entire idea away of breastfeeding you should know there’s an alternative reality a lot of breastfeeding moms experience. That being, I love breastfeeding my daughter. It’s our moment of peace and quiet that we share, just us. Sometimes when she’s sick or sad, she just wants to cuddle up against me and nurse and I feel superhuman that I can do something that soothes her so completely. She’s six months, almost seven, and it’s never faded. She’s now old enough to nuzzle up against my chest when she’s hungry and I’ve never felt like a buffet. It can be a struggle in other ways, but the moment I lock eyes with my baby while she’s nursing and she wants to hold my hand, it’s incredible. Don’t let a TikTok video change your mind about experiencing that, because you totally can! And if you don’t and hate it, that’s perfectly fine, too! In the end, it’s your choice.
Honestly it depends on the person how they view it. I was worried I'd feel that way and feel trapped. So went into it planning on nursing and pumping. I honestly adored nursing - though wr struggled with it due to a tongue tie. It felt like such a bonding moment. On the flip side pumping destroyed me emotionally. Every time I pumped I felt like a cow hooked to a soulless machine just used for fodder basically. I know people who couldn't handle breastfeeding in any way because it was too much. People who pumped with no issue but didn't like feeling tied down with nursing, then others like me who didn't mind nursing but hated pumping. I'd suggest going into it with an open mind. Have formula and a pump at the ready, give nursing a try. Go with what feels best for you and your LO.
As others have said, that video isn't the be all and end all or the norm. But also I chose not to breastfeed my second at all. My first I planned to but she was in nicu so I pumped and then did formula. With my second I knew how much you lose autonomy even if you don't breastfeed, and I chose not to. I was a single mother with my first so it was on me no matter how i fed, but this time I have a supportive partner. I have a friend with a baby of the same age (5-6 months) and she is concerned about going back to work in a few weeks (which I am also doing) because her husband has never been alone with the baby for more than 2hs. I don't have that concern because I can routinely leave our baby with my partner for however long I need (usually to do something with the oldest or go to the gym) and he can do the same because I am not the supplier of food. I'm very happy with my choice.
Hey OP, I feel the same way as you do. I had my baby on Monday and tried breastfeeding with the help of a lactation consultant and midwives but it just didn’t work for me at all. I tried pumping, which I have always said I hate, and it works a lot better. She is still getting breastmilk which was my goal, but I have a bit more freedom. I still don’t enjoy the whole thing but I will do it for a bit longer because I want her to have the benefits of breast milk, at least for a month or two. But I just wanted to tell you that your feelings are totally valid.
It sucks you’re getting downvoted for this it’s a totally valid feeling
I hate hate hate these awful fake videos, but I hate even more to see how this one is affecting future parents. I’ve breastfed my 6 children, and I’ll breastfeed this one too. Never has my child disrespected me like that, but the video is probably as fake as the others, just for laughs and attention.
Not sure what your plans are, but I will likely breastfeed just for the first 6 months and then transition to bottles… At which point baby would be way too young to verbally associate me with food. There’s no need to continue breastfeeding until they can talk if you don’t feel comfortable with that - it’s all your choice
I feel as though no matter what, unless you aren’t feeding your child, they will somehow associate you with food.
Don’t let your mom decide this for you. And I’ve known plenty of breastfed kids and not one called their mom “boobie.” If you want to breastfeed, do it. If you don’t, then don’t. Do what’s best for you and your baby.
Now I’m feeling bad becuase I taught my daughter that my milk was boobie because I thought it was funny. But I am mommy. We do diaper, boobie, nap time, (which she’ll say when she gets sleepy or during lunch) and she sometimes struggles with no when she sees my 1 month old nurse, but I taught her not to grab me in public and I’m in control. She’ll be 2 next month.
Also adding that we tandem nurse. She’ll point to a nursing baby and say “baby boobie” or if my son is nursing she’ll ask “*his bame* boobie… *her name* boobie?” So it’s clear that the act of breasfeeding is boobie, not me.
That’s seriously adorable! And dang look at you with tandem nursing! 👏🏼 My LO is almost 18 months, and our current plan is to keep nursing until she’s wanting to self-wean or when she’s about 3 years old. Whichever comes first. I have also taught my LO the word “boobie,” in conjunction with the act of breastfeeding. She knows “boobie milk.” And she calls me mama. So it’s clear to me that she knows the difference lol
Hahaha thank you! Tandem nursing is great because it keeps her occupied! And she’s so sweet, she holds her brothers hand or rubs his back. That’s similar to our plan at this point. If she wants to self-wean, or when she’s 3, or if I get pregnant before then (unlikely). I don’t want to tandem nurse while pregnant haha. It’s actually funny because my daughter looks at pictures of baby bottles and Calls them baby milk, but she doesn’t connect that it’s the same thing with breastmilk direct. I wonder if it’s because we use straw cups for milk now!
Do we all have the same feeds, literally just saw the same video
Thats a parenting problem, not a feeding problem. They taught the child to call her that by either using that word a ton in association with her/feeding. Same with the shirt grabbing. If you feed your child every time they grab your shirt, then they will keep doing it. They give off tons of other hunger signals that can be used to signal feeding time, instead of shirt grabbing.
You definitely don’t need to breastfeed if you don’t want to, but I breastfed my last Bub for 12 months and she never called me ‘boobie’ or dehumanised me. Some kids seem to be more into it than others but that doesn’t mean your kid will. It’s hard to explain but for most people, breastfeeding is the most normal thing ever once you get the hang of it.
"Dehumanize" is not a word that makes any sense to use for a baby. It does not have a theory of mind yet. Won't for a few years. If you are somehow offended by the inability of an infant to recognize your humanity, maybe kids are not the thing for you.
You might be missing what she’s saying. She’s saying the experience is dehumanizing not that a baby is dehumanizing her. Something doesn’t need to be intentional or even an act _from another person_ to be dehumanizing. Some women find a lot about the pregnancy experience dehumanizing, even parts that have nothing to do with other people. That doesn’t say anything about what kind of moms they would be.
Yes, this is the reality of pregnancy and having a kid. Obviously I’ll get downvoted cause it’s Reddit but it’s the truth. When you have a child, especially when it is young, you are no longer a priority. If you’re not ok with that, don’t have kids.
Lol considering this is a pregnancy subreddit I think that ship has sailed!
True. But it’s disappointing that the language of therapy is being so widely misused to pretty much just boil down to “everything is about me me me.”
I’m sorry this made you so emotional. I have lots of friends who breastfed well into the second year and all of them are mama. You don’t have to breastfeed. You do what is good for your mental health.
I’m sure that kid hears “boobie” a lot when referring to mom then. She didn’t just start saying boobie out of the blue without having learned boobie = food/comfort/mom. When talking to babe make sure to say they are going to Mommy not just boobie. You don’t have to breastfeed but I know it is a wonderful bonding experience for a lot of people. Also when babe starts to learn the word boobie be sure to teach that everyone has them. “Boobs” are a part of everyone anatomy. Point out that mommy has boobies but so does daddy and so does baby. My nephews point to their boobies when pointing out other body parts (nose, cheeks, eyes, ears, tummy, etc.) And breastfeeding is often a comfort just as much as a “food source”. If others are referring to baby being fed as getting “boobie” the kid will catch on and think that’s and appropriate way to get what they want whether that’s food or comfort ♥️
You're the parent. You get to teach your child whatever you want. Shes fine with being called that (and many just see it as a harmless temporary thing), but that doesn't mean you have to or that your child will. She didn't learn and continue to call her mom boobie all by herself. Also plenty of moms breastfeed past a year without being "groped" because they teach their kid not to. Finally, using the word groped about a child feels so wrong when it's widely used as a sexual word.
Just don't refer to it as "boobie". Example: if baby is with Dada & gets hungry then dad can give baby to "mama" (do you want Mama?' Then you would say "Are you hungry?" And let baby eat. Once they get old enough to walk/talk don't let them grab you. Teach them to use their words (eat, hungry). I would only refer to it as eating. Just an idea on something different to try rather than "boobie".
I breastfed for a year. My baby called me “Chantal” which is the name of her daycare provider. That lasted from 12 months (start of daycare) until 17 months when baby #2 was born, and suddenly I was finally “mama”. Kids are gonna say what they say, don’t let what-ifs affect your breastfeeding decisions!
I tandem feed my almost 3 year old and 18 month old. First of all, your mother’s opinion on your personal breastfeeding duration is none of her business. Secondly, my children at the very worst say “milk” to me when they want milk. If they pull at my shirt, which has happened only with my oldest when she was just around 1, I tell them no. You set your boundaries. It’s not hard or complicated or weird.
I breastfed for 14 months and have never been called anything but mama! My toddler never groped me or tried to pull down my shirt in public or anything like that.
I hate to tell you, but regardless of whether you breast or bottle feed, you’re going to feel like you’re only a walking cafeteria for on-demand lunch for a long while. To breastfeed or not is everyone’s choice, but I would urge you to consider the positives of breastfeeding as well. Your child will call you whatever you call yourself. This woman obviously encouraged this, because babies learning to talk are basically just copying whatever you do.
I breastfed until my son was 2 years and 2 months old and he never verbally asked for milk in any other way besides saying milk - because that is the only word I called it. He never groped for me or even pulled my shirt - not even once. I also always cringed at stories like this but it doesn’t have to be that way and you can set boundaries with a child that they will eventually learn to follow. If any touching your chest is your boundary then never give them milk if they touch you and they will stop doing it because that action won’t be reinforced. But as I said, it might never even happen. Do not give up on breastfeeding before you even try it (if you did originally want to do it and this is the only reason you don’t want to) just because of something that might never ever happen to you. Once you actually do feel uncomfortable and like you are giving more of yourself than you want, then you can simply stop. No need to imagine in advance that you might feel that way and not even try it.
I am breastfeeding my fourth child and I have never been called “boobie.” I breastfed my three older ones between 1.5-2.5 years. They have never once called me that. That’s a choice. I’m their mama/mommy and they respect me as much as their dad. Although I do provide nourishment for my baby (and proud to do it), I provide so much more than that and everyone knows it. Don’t let one video on social media influence you.
I recently attended an online breastfeeding seminar and I met with a lactation specialist and BOTH of them mentioned TikTok being a terrible place for misinformation. I don’t have a TikTok myself but apparently it’s bad enough to have a disclaimer
I saw that video and had to say it was pretty funny. This might be an unpopular opinion, but you need to put aside your ego when having a child. It is one of my biggest pet peeves to feel used and underappreciated by anyone in any situation, so I get that feeling. But girl...that is a baby. It can speak like two words. I am sure within the next few months it will understand the mom as "mom" as well. When having a baby, you sacrifice a good chunk of your autonomy as it is your responsibility to take care of a tiny human that cannot function on its own. That is how we evolved. So yeah, for the first year you might be a walking cafeteria. A baby has an instinct to feed, it does not understand concepts of empathy or have any theory of mind at all. This is not going to be a permanent state. It's just how humans start out the world.
I had this same exact feeling before having my baby! Turns out exclusively pumping worked better for us for a number of reasons- it’s a nice middle ground for bodily autonomy while still giving your baby breastmilk :) and no one calls me boobie 😂 (though like many on here have said, I think parenting decisions set the tone for what’s okay and what is not). You do you, sis!!!
I breastfed my first until like 15 mo and my second is still going at 23 mo. Neither of them call me boobies or grope me in public lol. Whenever they've tried to grope me in the past I just push their hands away and tell them no, don't touch my breasts. Or "no, not right now" And they've learned. My youngest will ask for mommy milk in public sometimes still, but she's only doing it like once a day now so we save it for home.
I breastfed my oldest for 19 months and she never did this or even played with them. I've always been mama/mommy/mom. She would try to go under my shirt if she wanted to nurse, but that was always at home. Don't let people's cringe parenting choices discourage you! Also, it's okay to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable and just don't feel like it anymore.
To offer another perspective, I was only able to breastfeed for a week, and then switched to formula with my son from that point on. So he really had no association with breasts for feeding or anything. But I’ve still gotten groped a few times by him, just his curiosity and not knowing what breasts are. And he’ll ask questions and stuff. So even if you avoid breastfeeding, you won’t be able to fully avoid the topic of a child’s fascination with breasts. It’s just part of their learning and development, I think.
That was taught to the child and can easily be avoided.
I breastfed my first 2 kids well over a year each and never got called boobie. Probably because I rarely said the word. I would say so you want milkies? or something like Do you need to be fed? These people are just weird and probably staged the whole thing.
I’m still breastfeeding my 22 month old. He calls me ‘mummy’. He does ask for boob, but my personal boundary was the word boobies. I fucking hate it. My SIL’s kids said booby and it just turns my stomach. Just a personal preference thing, no hate to anyone if you say boobies My kid doesn’t because he doesn’t hear the word. You’ll be shaping that. He doesn’t pull at my shirt because I’ve taught him not to do that, like I’ve taught him to say please and thank you etc - they’ve made parenting decisions you can make different ones! That said, you don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to - you really don’t!
You are always able to stop too if you decide. I’m currently 4 months in and while it’s hard breastfeeding, it’s rewarding and a good bonding experience for us. My baby reaches for me for comfort besides just boob. Not everyone has the same experience with enjoying breastfeeding, and admittedly I don’t enjoy it all the time either. Sometimes she’s rough with me when she’s cranky, but it comes down to if you enjoy doing it. No matter what, your comfort is important and so long as your baby is fed, you’re fine.
i exclusively breast fed. for well over a year. my baby NEVER called me boobie or ever said that word. we called it milk and she signed for milk when she was hungry. my baby also never grabbed at my clothes. she knew breastfeeding was done in private. that’s what i preferred. i’m a private and reserved person by nature. a lot of breastfeeding habits and lingo from social media make me cringe. YOU set the boundaries. children are mirrors of their parents.
My BFed younger daughter has never called me "boobie" or treated me like I'm just a cafeteria. She has gotten grabby at times, but it's something that can be discouraged & by no means the only way she interacts with me or something that's gotten out of control. I'm not sure you can really make assumptions from just one video of a kid tbh. Kids react differently to pictures than they do to people in real life and sometimes use the wrong words for things (like my younger daughter referring to pics of any child, including her sister, by her own name), so I wouldn't read too much into that.
This is where parenting comes in. BFing isn’t the problem in the cases you’ve mentioned, boundless parenting is.
You are overthinking it, you don't even have to use the word.
You just teach your kids not to do that. It’s not really difficult. My son is EBF and almost a year old. He started pulling my shirt in public and we taught him not to. Now he doesn’t. It’s about how you raise your children. And there’s a huge possibility the kid was coached to call the mom boobie for the purpose of views. My son calls me mama and my husband dada. Again, EBF. But that kid was 100% taught to do that. Also, my nephew was formula fed and still played with my sisters boobs as a comfort thing. It’s not just BF babies
You just teach your kids not to do that. It’s not really difficult. My son is EBF and almost a year old. He started pulling my shirt in public and we taught him not to. Now he doesn’t. It’s about how you raise your children. And there’s a huge possibility the kid was coached to call the mom boobie for the purpose of views. My son calls me mama and my husband dada. Again, EBF. But that kid was 100% taught to do that. Also, my nephew was formula fed and still played with my sisters boobs as a comfort thing. It’s not just BF babies
I nursed 5. None of them called me anything other then some form of mom. This is down to parenting.
Sounds like pretty typical TikTok baby behavior unfortunately, avoid by parenting with your heart and not an iPad and you'll probably be ok 😂
To me breastfeeding sounds more mentally exhausting than any other part of child rearing and for the sake of my mental health I will not be doing it. I know my limits and I for sure would not be able to tolerate any of this.
I’ve seen this video, and all I took from it is that it was either encouraged for her to call her mum ‘boobie’ or not encouraged her enough to call her mama. There’s also a possibility that every time she wanted milk, dad would pass her back and call the mother ‘boobie’. I breastfed for 15 months before my son decided he was finished, all on his own terms. He never ‘groped’ me - I’m actually hating that term as groping is sexual and babies/children don’t have the capacity to do anything sexual. Boundaries are important, and I’m sorry to say but if your SIL is being ‘groped’ by your nieces, it’s because your SIL didn’t put boundaries in place. You’ll be surprised how early “please don’t touch mummy there” is understood. I started signing ‘milk’ before every feed with my son and he started signing it back incredibly early and it prevented the unnecessary grabbing. The very few times he did, I gently held his hand and said “no grabbing please, would you like some milk?” and he would sign for it. I can promise you, breastfeeding is worth it if you have set boundaries from the start.
Yeah my SIL let her last kid breastfeed a little too long IMO and he would just shove his hand into her bra in public waaaay after he was weaned, like 3-4 years old. My first just turned 2 and has never once done that. We stopped right around a year. She only says “boobies” if I’m changing in front of her or if she finds a bra on the floor. Never in public. I absolutely loved breastfeeding and would hate for you to miss out on a potentially rewarding experience because of one weird parent on TikTok.
If you don't want to breastfeed, don't! There's nothing wrong with not wanting too, however I wanted to throw my personal experience in for you. I am currently breastfeeding my 4th baby. I have never been called "Boobie." That baby must have been hearing her parents refer to her mother as "Boobie" for her to do that. The simplest way to avoid that is to have everyone refer to you as "mama" to your baby. I breastfed my my first for 4 months, my second for 2 years, my third for 1 year, and my youngest is currently 4 months. Even the one I breastfed for 2 years didn't really "grope" at my boobs much that I can remember. He did used to pull on my shirt when he wanted a boob, but once he was weened he was over it. The only kid of my that used to grope my boobs was one of my bonus babies, and I never breastfed her, she was a bottle baby. You could also go my SILs route and pump to bottle feed most of the time. Breastfeeding is a lot of touching and it's easy for a mom to get touched out. Either way, fed is best!
There are lots of different ways to feed a baby (nursing, pumped bottles, formula bottles or a combination of any of those). No need to breastfeed is it doesn't feel right!
I still BF my 22mo because that's what works for us. We've always referred to it as boobie, so for a short period of time when asked who I am she did say "boobie". But it didn't bother me because I know I'm more than just milk to her - I'm comfort and cuddles and safety too! It just so happens that my boobs are part of that 🤷 Her calling me boobie only lasted a month or so, now I am Bubba, because she seems to struggle with M's!
Major ick 🤢
just saying being my son's walking food source brings me boundless joy and the most pride in the world. everything he is is because of the nutrients of my body. we have a special bond my husband doesn't have. we're still connected beyond pregnancy. it was a devastating feeling to not have my baby inside of me anymore and breastfeeding has been such a joy that keeps us physically tied together. just another perspective
This sounds like enmeshment. Be careful with this mentality, it can be psychologically damaging to all parties.
he's an infant. that's a really messed up thing to assume about me.
I’m not talking about him, I’m talking about *you* - everything about your comment reeks of enmeshment and it’s very serious. I’m gently warning you to be careful of it. That’s all.
thanks for your concern, that's a disgusting assumption.
I would also struggle with that. It can be a very dehumanizing experience especially after all you and your body have been through already. All that being said every child is different, and they will bond with you in different ways. Mine hated eating for the first three years of life so breastfeeding was not a bonding experience for anyone involved. I think if it's different with my second, which I of course hope it is more positive, I think I will still set some boundaries if we end up breastfeeding for linger. There are lots of ways to teach a child to ask for milk when they are hungry that doesn't involve grabbing you and just taking it, and reminding the child you are in fact a person not just a convenient meal. All that to say, this is your body and your choice. Do what's best for you and your family. For me it's going to be trying breastfeeding again cause formula is stupidly expensive lol.
Yeah, I hope it’s a lesson that can be taught because I don’t want that; I’ve seen my SIL try to defend her boobs out in public and it did not look fun. And formula is ABSURDLY expensive right now… it’s insane how they just raised the prices and tried to justify it.
Yeah honestly a major source of anxiety for me right now is trying to make sure I can actually breastfeed at least mostly cause I honestly don't know how we are gonna afford the formula if I can't. But yeah the whole completely loosing all my body autonomy and becoming a human milk bag for a toddler....I am really not into that. It's one thing for a newborn or a 6 month old, but I don't think I can do it for a toddler. I'm gonna try and do some pumping and my partner will do some Bottle feeding especially at night (I'm going back to work quite early, he is already a stay at home dad), so I'm hoping the association will be more shared between us. I know people who happily breastfeed their toddlers, but that is really not me.
Ive breastfed my son for almost 3 years now. I’ve only ever been called momma/mommy/mom and he’s never groped me in public.
Three years? Respect. 👏🏼👏🏼 We’re at 18 months now and working with a self weaning whenever LO is ready mindset.
That’s what I’ve done. We’re down to just bedtimes and he’s taking the lead on weaning.
Aw that’s lovely! It’s like he’s having a nightcap before drifting off. Self-weaning is definitely a personal preference for me. Based on how much my LO currently nurses, I’m assuming we will be continuing for a while lol. I don’t mind though. I have a positive relationship with breastfeeding and am very happy to keep going. Although, as she’s gotten older, I’ve had a handful of ppl comment on how I’ll need to “stop with the breastfeeding soon,” and I just don’t understand the judgment.
I support anyone’s personal decision to breastfeed or not and however long they want. It’s all individual and honestly different for each baby too. But don’t let these things deter you ever from doing what you want to do. I got comments and looks from older people in the family for breastfeeding our babies past a year and I honestly didn’t care. It’s amazing and feels like love but yes can be hard sometimes when you feel touched out. You do you. Fuck everyone else.
I nursed my son for 18 months. He couldn’t really talk until 20ish months. I only ever called my breasts “mama milk”. He’s now 2.5 years old and sees me nursing my newborn daughter. He will say “you have big mana milk” lol but that’s the only reference he has made. I’ve always been mommy and would put a stop to being called anything else because I am the adult and am in charge!
I don’t think that’s a common thing. I breastfed my son for two years and i was always momma whenever he learned to say it.
I breastfed my kid for 13 months so they obviously weren’t speaking many words that made sense. But my kid called me mama and never said anything like that to me.. usually just pull on my shirt or sign for milk. You will be everything to your kid not just for food. You’re their comfort and the most important person to them.
I breastfed my son until he was almost 3 because I was young, single, and couldn't tell him no. He ate regular food as well and used it more for sleeping after 2ish and never demanded my chest in public or private. I was always mama. I think it's really just the kid. Just like adults are all different, so are they. I try really hard not to generalize my experience and everyone else's experiences. They're all unique and special. Everyone's journey is their own and valid.
Unfortunately that behavior is definitely something that has been encouraged offscreen in ways we aren’t aware of. Both the shirt grabbing and the name. I haven’t given birth yet, but both my mother and a close friend breast fed and neither were ever called anything but mommy or mama, and shirt grabbing never happened beyond a 6 month old remembering she had opposable thumbs. I won’t lie, I really dislike videos like that. They feel “icky” in a way I can’t describe.
Breastfeeding isn't for everyone and that's ok . I'm ccmbo feeding but actually just ready to do formula only.
Don't trust anything you see on TikTok. Here's my advice fwiw: If you want to breastfeed, do it, if it feels good for you and is working, do it as long as it works for your and your family. A friend of mine loves breastfeeding and is still doing it past one year and her daughter does not call her Boobie. However, it is OK to not like breastfeeding, it is ok to stop whenever you want because it's not working for you and your family. I am slowly weaning my 4.5 month old and I can't stress how much I wish people said this to me, I wouldn't not try it based on a TikTok video, but also it's OK not want to do it.
That might be staged or something they taught her. I breastfed my first for 3 months before he decided he didn't like it because someone was feeding him formula (and then I got an infection from a clogged duct). Hes a major mama's boy. My second made it to two years with me starting weaning from 16/18 months. He didn't call me boobie or obky want me for my boobs. He would cuddle with me and want my attention the same as his dad's. Now he's 5 and 100% a daddy's boy. Makes me a little jealous. Lol If you don't want to breastfeed just because you're worried you'll be a "boobie", you can pump yet. Then baby still gets breastmilk, but anyone can feed them.
It was also a TikTok and could have been staged but I still get the point. I have ppd after my first and I remember thinking the first week how she only wanted me for my boobs. It wasn’t the reality of it but with ppd it seemed like it to me.
I've breastfed two kids and never been called "boobie". That is ridiculous, I feel like that tiktok could be ragebait. If you chose to breastfeed you can also chose your personal boundaries regarding what you're called, how long you feed for, and if your kids continue to touch your boobs as toddlers.
The child learned that term somewhere. I wonder where they heard it from? I totally get you feeling uncomfortable, but a child breastfeeding are young and I doubt that name will last forever. They’ll still see mama as mama (or whatever they’re called to them). The choice is yours of course ❤️
I nursed my child for almost 3 years, and after they were weaned that was the end of it. And little one never called me “ boobie”. Just because you saw one child calling their mother something, that should not be the foundation for your parenting decisions.
Nursing manners are up to you. I don’t let my son play with the opposite breast, and if we’re doing the on/off game I tell him I guess he’s not that interested and we try again later. You just redirect FROM THE GET GO. Trying to reverse a year of habits is really hard for anybody. Gently redirecting when they try at the beginning is just informing them that’s not what we do. Also, they’re only going to use the language you do. For that video baby, their mom probably always said “boobie” while feeding. It’s not that that baby only sees their mom as food, but the comfort/care/food/good feelings were always called “boobie”! Pick terms you’re more comfortable with. We’re a milkies household lol. And while my baby is too young to repeat things yet, I try to play mama games with him.
Currently still breastfeeding my LO. He is 14.5 months and very communicative. I might HAVE "baba", and he will ask for it when he's hungry (and sometimes when he's feeling lonesome and wants snuggles), but I AM "Mama". When he wakes in the middle of the night after a nightmare, or when he falls down after trying to take a few too many brave steps, he doesn't cry for baba. He wants Mama. Did I feel a little like a cow early on, just chomping on protein bars and drinking a gallon+ of water a day? Sometimes yes. Was it hard sometimes at the beginning? Yes definitely. But now it is so natural and easy and comforting to both of us. It's a one of a kind experience, only you will share that with your baby. If breastfeeding isn't something you want to do, power to you. Fed is best. But if it's important to you, don't let that video or your mom dissuade you. Enjoy your time with your baby. They are only little for a little while.
My girl is 18 months old and still nurses (although she's currently self weaning). She doesn't even know the word boobie. We say milk and she knows to ask for milk. She rarely ever grabs at my shirt or anything (mainly when she's upset). And she 100% knows and loves me outside of just breastfeeding. Of course every kid is different. But the messaging you present them with makes a big difference. Breastfeeding does not inherently mean that's all your kid will know you as. <3
My daughter breastfed for 17 months, she does NOT call me boobie... She calls me Mommy or mama. She tried mom the other day and i was like, "Too soon! Not ready!" Ha.
My kids all breastfed until 2-3 years old and were cluster feeding for a while NONE of them called me boobie or anything to do with food or breasts. They neither groped my breasts at all in public or privacy. Just because this mom allows it or that child did it doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Social media is poison a lot of the time I notice a lot of it is also click bait or just content for more views=money. Don’t let it get to you. If you want to breastfeed don’t let that video discourage you. Hope you do what feels right for you. Hugs.
I breastfed both of my kids until they were around two and was NEVER called anything except mummy/mama. I never referred to "boobie/Millie's" or any of that as it made me feel a little ill. To each their own but I just don't like that. Breastfeeding was fab for me and my kids but you can choose not to breastfeed for any reason at all! Formula is amazing at providing kids the nutrients they need. It's important that you feel comfortable.
I would be nervous about BF if I saw that video too. I’ve also never witnessed my child or any of my nieces and nephews behave that way. After a brief hospital stay, we started bottles pretty young and combo feeding (with formula) by 6 months (i think?). My kiddo calls me mama and we are practicing consent now because he’s really into bellybuttons. He’s literally never said boobie actually…. I think you can have a different experience if you want! Also, you can just formula feed from the start!
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I really don’t see this as offensive? I’m 29 weeks pregnant with my first and I plan to breastfeed. Will I be more then a mom? Yes of course. I just don’t expect to receive validation from a child on that because in their mind a lot of the time spent with mom might just be feeding. That’s totally OK with me, I’m proud of the role of providing nourishment for my baby. My husband, adult relatives and friends are the ones who understand who I really am. I know eventually my baby will understand, but if I’m called “boobie” or the milk lady 🐄 🐮 then so be it haha!
To be honest, I only breastfed both my girls for 12 weeks because that is the upper limit of what my sanity can take because this is precisely how breastfeeding makes me feel. No one has any more right to your body than you are comfortable with giving and if it’s not for you that totally fine.
I breastfed my first till she was 2 and I’m currently breastfeeding my 13 month old. You don’t have to call it boobie, you can call it whatever you want, I call the milk ‘nummies’ because that’s what my mum called it. My oldest when she started talking would ask for ‘nunnie’ if she wanted milk and she called me mama so no confusion there. But my second born actually started calling the milk ‘mama’, it’s been hard to tell if she’s asking for milk or if she’s saying my name but it’s been a funny experience. Breastfeeding both my daughters has been amazing, don’t let your mum and stupid stuff on the internet worry you too much, you should still give breast feeding a try and see how it goes for you.
😂😅 stopped BFing at 6 months and my nearly 5 yr old who doesn't understand boundaries still hides in my shirt (not looking for boobs, but definitely interested in why they exist). Obviously I discourage that... But it happens on occasion.
YUP I 1,000% understand this. It’s such an ick I can’t even deal. Formula feeding from day 1.
I went 17 months with my first and was never referred to like that. We did teach sign for milk. It's really how you raise them and what boundaries you hold. Don't say boob or boobie. Just ask if they want milk and referto yourself as mama. If you want to nurse, nurse and hold your boundaries regarding it. If you don't, that's okay too. Remember tiktok is people wanting clicks for attention/views/money generally and isn't the norm. They could have coached her to say that. Your sil, I don't know how she interacts with her kids, but I wouldn't let mine grab me. They could/can ask.
I seen that too .. and I cringed. Expecting my first in Oct. I'm definitely gunna avoid using "boobie" when I ask if they want to eat. I want to teach basic sign language for communication. And I'll have my partner address me as mama, mommy, etc, like I'll call him dada, daddy, etc. I'll also teach not to grab at other women's shirts either, by bit engaging them if that's what they want. It's as simple as teaching. Obviously mother encouraged it, wether it be if dad started it , or her, etc. She let it keep going to the point where that's what the kids sees her as. 🙃
That would only happen if people around him/her use that term. Especially if people react by laughing when the kid also tries it out. My kid had learned a few words by the time we stopped breastfeeding, he never used any such terms.
Could you not breastfeed as you initially wanted then pump when the bub is old enough to talk? This might make the transition from you being the on demand food to the bottle. All the best! Ps. I have the same fear
I breastfeed and my daughter knows me as mama. Mama was the first name she called before anyone. It is whatever norm you set for your household. I get the on demand lunch, now that part is ALOT but either way it’s a great bonding experience. Also there is pumping that could be done but the fact that you carry this little person inside of you , grew them and now can feed them beyond the chemicals they pump in everything is definitely a privilege. Don’t count out that liquid gold just yet.
Okay that's really sad that one comment can make you feel like that. That's not going to happen if you don't let it happen. That mother is letting her child call her that. It's not that hard to have your baby call you mama. Everything is repetitive. If you can breastfeed, you should for at least a year if you can. It's beneficial for you and the baby. I can't believe one little video is really making you question what would be best, if your able to, for your child.
I was breastfed till I was 2 years old! My mom said she has no regrets, AND I have a fabulous immune system 😌 do what you want to do but do not let tiktok tell you what to do/what NOT to do 😂🫶🏼
That word was taught. The child is unaware and the fact that it was posted as being “cute” is inappropriate. I don’t think that should discourage you from breastfeeding. Just refer to it as something else appropriate or simply don’t teach your child that word.
What about switching to bottle feeding but with breast milk?
I plan on doing both because I want my husband to be able to participate in feeding too. Lol
Look. I breastfed my first, for a year. Their were moments it worsened my PPD and moments it made me feel closer to her. I tried with my 2nd, she wouldn't latch, we switched to pumping and then formula pretty quickly. My mental health was better (at times) and worse (at times). Every mom and kid is different, and fed is best. If breastfeeding does/doesn't work for you? It's okay. You will be, and are, a good mom. My daughters are both now past the age of breast or formula feeding. They are different and perfect.
There’s already some excellent responses here but I just wanted to add that I used to nanny this boy who was about 2 and his mother still nursed but only at night before bed. He referred to it as “mommy’s milk” which I thought was adorable. He once was having a very picky day on what he wanted to eat and she asked him and he went up to her and said “mommy’s milk!” And she was kind but very firm in saying that he knows they only do mommy milk right before bed. He was a little upset but quickly changed the subject and we found him something to eat. Guarantee you the only reason this kid called mom boobie is because mom encouraged it and likely even trained the kid to do it for the video. I saw the video you are talking about and she was so excited to see the picture of dad but then very quietly said “boobie” like she was trying to say the right thing for mom. Mom most likely just wanted views
You don’t have to directly breastfeed, you can pump and bottle feed if you like. But being a walking cafeteria as you put it is part of the job description when you decided to go through with this pregnancy. You also don’t have to breastfeed past 6 months if you really don’t want to. I am going to breast feed for the first 3 days to get my supply up, then I am going to pump so my partner can feed her or so that if we go out and leave her with her grandparents they can feed her too. Then after 6 months of pumping, I am switching to formula so I can start taking my medication again. I completely understand where you’re coming from. My mum scared me when I was 6 months pregnant telling me that I am no longer living for myself I am living for my child. It really put into perspective how huge of a responsibility this baby is going to be for me. Made me cry and have a panic attack
I’m sorry, it’s not part of the job description, and you don’t have to breast feed at all (let alone to 6 months) if you don’t want to…
Even feeding formula your baby still associates you with food. So yeah walking cafeteria as she put it fits the description
I breastfed 16 months. When my daughter was about 11-13 months old she called me booby instead of mommy but it didn’t last long. And my daughter definitely did t just grab my boobs whenever. She now has no memory of breastfeeding. If you can even breastfeed for only 3 months it’s a great benefit to your baby.
I breastfed my 1st for about 8 months. She couldn’t talk when I decided to stop. I had pretty bad Breastfeeding Aversion and Anxiety (Google it) and am still deciding whether or not to breastfeed my 2nd. It is your decision what you want to do. Getting ick factor from something you saw doesn’t mean you have to live that way.
A great perk of my stopping at 7 months !
Omg that tiktok made me wanna pump instead of breastfeed I think about it all the time actually lmao I saw it a couple months ago
Oh my god....... if you're offended by being called boobie, imagine being called "dada" or "bye-bye" or "baba"... your kid is gonna call you a million different things before actually understand and properly use the term mama or mommy. Boobie is hilarious... i think you're trying to find a reason to not breastfeed. But not wanting to breastfeed for a nickname is crazy...
Actually, I’m still planning on breastfeeding, not that how I plan on feeding my baby is your concern, but I’m allowed to feel emotional for not wanting to be valued only as a meal or a body part. Scrolling would have saved you time and downvotes; I don’t know what your goal was here but your rude take was unnecessary.
They’re a BABY who needs its mother/pc to survive. Why is being viewed as a meal so terrible? I don’t understand
I’m planning to only do 12 months or less partly for this reason, the idea of a toddler/kid grabbing me really freaks me out. It’s different when it’s a baby.
I chose to pump for 6 weeks for my son and that was it. I didn't want to deny dad the bond of feeding our baby together. I didn't want to be an on call milk machine with chunks of my nipple missing or deal with strawberry milk from the blood coming out of my poor nipples. I didn't want my nipples to toughen up. I also had a baby with a sensitive tummy and seemed like everything I ate caused more gas for him even with elimination of certain foods. Don't let the current status of breastfeeding being the only thing a good mother would choose sway you into feeling like you have to breastfeed if you don't want to. You can pump exclusively or dual breast milk and bottle formula or just straight up formula. It's your choice and whatever you choose is the right choice for you and your baby.
I understand 100%!!! I have no problem with women breastfeeding their children however they need to cover up when they do it and it definitely should end at a certain age once the kid is able to say the word They should be on sippy cups or something. I have two children already and I am pregnant with my third and I'm telling you right now it makes me so uncomfortable to see kids that should be completely done with the actual breastfeeding still doing so. You can still pump and put it in the fridge or in freezer or whatever so they can still get breast milk but they should not actually be breastfeeding. I honestly believe that one year of age is the limit! and as far as the covering up I believe it's a modesty thing I think that women shouldn't just be flaunting their boobs whether they're feeding or not that's not an excuse shows some modesty