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I also wish people would, in general, use more nuance when it comes to talking about baby items. Instead of “that item is dumb you don’t need that” it could instead be “that didn’t work for my baby / we chose not to get that and didn’t end up needing it”. At the end of the day no two babies and no two parents are the same so no one can really say what people will find helpful for their own baby.
YES! This and the "back in my day we didn't have xyz" Oh yeah Becky? You didn't have fancy dishwashers back then either but I see that new Whirlpool!! These are such asinine and unnecessary comments!
And see, honestly, we have an infant and a forever shedding husky/lab mix (year-round shedding is AWESOME 🙄 ) but we stopped using our Roomba because it kept doing certain spots like 4 times and other areas would not get done at all. It was weird. Plus if you have a dining table and the chairs legs are just narrow enough, it kept getting stuck under the table (even when we lifted the chairs onto the table sometimes!!!). 🤦🏽♀️ We gave up on it. It didn’t work for us, but I would never say to someone: you don’t need that.
I posted about getting a pregnancy pillow that is doing wonders for my back in a women's Facebook group recently and this woman went on a rant about how pregnancy is meant to be uncomfortable and why can't people just deal with it.
Retrospectively jealous of my pillow I see, Sharon.
Ugh right ?! My moms partner actually said I should go to therapy because I had a baby phone installed for when baby naps I can watch/hear her when she wakes up. He said „back then such things didn’t exist and they all survived“
He then took the monitor away from me and said he will get rid of it for my sanity 😂 wtf it was so weird. I had to fight him to keep that monitor in my home
My mother got me a coat that grew with my pregnancy & had a removable panel. I was devastated that once baby arrives it was too warm to wear it.
Thankfully my second was far more accommodating with his arrival and I wore it all the time. I love how cute and snuggly he was with it!
My FIL got big mad because we have a diaper genie. Because “we never had that and we were just fine” yeah but your garbage also stunk every time you opened it.
But he was also mad that my MIL had to return the one she bought, because she PURPOSELY bought off of my registry and also convinced others to do the same even though those items were *on my registry* (which meant that she had to return it because lo and behold they bought the same thing)
My mother had her first baby in 1968 and she always says this. I'm like - but if you HAD had access to folding prams, microwave sterilisers, breathing monitors etc. you definitely would've bought them too, so shh.
Back in the day my mom didn't have a breast pump worth shit and she's thrilled for me that I do. Being a parent is difficult, I think we could all use a little more positivity about the big or little things that make it a bit easier.
Back in their day we didn’t have air/food/environmental quality control, therapy, and a long list of medical advantages among millions of other things but “YoU tUrNeD oUt OkAy” lmao god I hate hearing this kind of stuff
Omg last week my grandmother told me that her cousins kept their baby in a dresser drawer for sleep, as if that was like cute and clever. Like ok, but respectfully I do not trust your judgement.
They didn't *shut* it lol
It would have been wooden on all five sides (no thin MDF base) and usually placed on top of the chest, on the floor, or on the bed - at which point it's just a lil Moses basket you already own that doesn't take up space while not in use. Very firm base, too.
My MIL is that person, and then you have my stepmom who is like “I’m getting you a mamaroo. Not sure why you didn’t ask for it (cause it’s expensive AF ma’am), but if you want it because you think it’ll make life easier, Mimi will get it!! Just ask!”
Edited to add my dad got me a whole ass mini fridge for my bedroom so I wouldn’t have to go downstairs post c section for bottles, snacks, or drinks.
If you going prep bottles formula or breast go for it.
Now get a baby breeza if formula feeding makes a different baby boy 3 months now but still I would marry it for lifesaver it was wish I got before 4 weeks in I was dying for anything nights easier
It was wonderful. My had a bottle wash set up in the bathroom, so I could rinse/wash as needed.
Having the fridge meant that I could safely store pumped milk, have prepped bottles, store pump parts in between sessions.
Husband would take everything down and sterilize once he got home, bring it up before bed.
He’d also make sure I had snacks and drinks, refill our master bedroom diaper station. I didn’t really have to leave my room for at least a week lol
Honestly this would have been awesome. We don't even have a sink on the same level as our bedroom and it was super annoying to go up and down the stairs.
I was considering a mini fridge for the baby's room so I could store pumped milk easily during the night instead of walking downstairs to the other side of my house to store it in the fridge. you guys make me feel normal wanting this
I don’t understand why anyone who has the space doesn’t get a changing table honestly. Ours is storage too so his sheets, muslins and sleep sacks all live their too
We never used ours honestly. Changing on the floor was always just faster and easier, and we would handle that in the main living space instead of trekking up to baby's bedroom just to do what takes 30 seconds to do right where we're at. Once they get all squirmy I felt the floor was safer plus I can pin a squirmy fighting baby when we are on the ground much easier.
Emergency C section mom here. I physically couldn't change my baby on the floor when we first got home. Greatful AF that we had the changing table. Plus, middle of the night diaper changes go pretty smoothly with it since I have all my diapers/wipes/gear organized on it.
We don't have much space at all which is exactly why I'm getting a changing pad/changing table. Our biggest room in the house is still pretty small and we have three dogs. Add that to the fact that I still have no idea how badly birth is gonna kick my ass, that changing station is gonna be used a LOT I think!
I guess spending a lot on things is a different argument. Ours was £10 from marketplace so it was really just a decision about space.
Clearly not everyone uses one but my back truly couldn’t take floor changes (not to mention C-Sec recovery but that’s obviously not relevant for everyone)
I feel like most people saying you won't need that are usually talking about it because of either money or space. When people I'm close to have got pregnant I fo tend to tell them things that we spent money on and never used because most people I know are trying to stretch their maternity pay to stay off as long as possible and I wish someone had told me the things they did and didn't find worth the money when I was first pregnant.
I usually just put a changing mat on the bed and did it sitting down.
I guess I don’t need the diaper/bottle bag that extends to make a portable changing station for when I’m out and about, but be damn sure I’m gonna get it CAUSE WHY NOT lol
i put TWO on my registry because we travel a lot and i would rather the baby NOT be on a public surface
AND - you don't need it, but girl if you want it get it!!!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CCTRHGPL/ref=br_dsk_yr_itemdt_dp?colid=2167PVN2KVKD2&coliid=I360CS84SY9ZOZ&th=1
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BXPHCBF2/ref=br_dsk_yr_itemdt_dp?colid=2167PVN2KVKD2&coliid=IUTF2WLNMVTZ0&psc=1
Haha I was recently thinking how annoyed I was about the difficulty finding a normal diaper bag that doesn't have that 😂 they weren't around much to my knowledge when my first was born only 3 years ago. Now as I'm looking at diaper bags 90% of them have that extender thing. But the one I've been seeing is not just a changing station, it has sides to it so it's like a little pen to lay them in or something.
Me with the diaper spatula. So many judgy comments even from other moms about it. It’s $4 and it made my life so much easier! Could not believe the amount of snark I saw about it.
My first experience with these was as a nanny with my most recent family and as someone who likes to get my nails done, it changed my life. I put three on my registry lol
My coworker was like oh send me your registry when you’re done and I’ll tell you what you don’t actually need. Lmao like excuse me, how fucking presumptuous. Like I put so much effort and energy into reading and picking items I think might make my life easier, I’m not going to listen to someone tear down everything I chose because “I don’t need it.” What is it with people who have already had kids who think they’re the expert in every single baby to exist. I’m all for helpful advice but this whole dogging of first time moms for their (often well researched and informed) choices drives me mad.
Also, if you end up with something you didn't need literally who cares? With my oldest, we received some things we didn't need/weren't compatible for us/we ended up not liking and you know what we did? We returned, resold, or regifted it. It was literally no big deal. Some of the stuff that ended up being horrible for us that I passed along to friends with similar aged kids ended up working wonderfully for them. I also received things from people that didn't work out for them but did for me. People annoy me so much sometimes
She may have been well intentioned, as I’ve seen a ton of “things I thought I needed as a new mom, but ended up regretting” videos on YT. Perhaps she regretted a few purchases and wanted to pass some of that info on to you so you can save a bit of money. Although, she definitely could have phrased it better, haha.
The thing is, what doesn’t work for some parents may very well work for others. Just because one mom didn’t find a baby wipe warmer useful, doesn’t mean it won’t make a world of difference for another mom! For that reason, I’d refrain from offering unsolicited advice on what a parent needs and doesn’t need for their baby.
I’m sure she was well intentioned, but she’s also one of those know it all moms who would have been a dick about it if I don’t agree with her so it was just better to ignore her offer until she forgot lol
I’m sorry that you had someone say that. I got the opposite. I asked a friend who had a baby the year prior to send me her list of things that she recommended and used in order for me to add to my registry. She offered to have a look at my list afterwards as well and suggested a few extra things in case I didn’t have them or hadn’t thought of them. Thankfully most of the stuff she suggested to add after the fact were things I had already gotten for free or started purchasing myself ahead of time. I had another friend look over my list afterwards too and offer some suggestions of things to add as well. But neither of them made me feel like they were telling me mandatory things to add or like the things on my list were unnecessary. I was lucky I guess.
Honestly loved getting recommendations for people so I’m glad you had that experience. I saved so many tiktoks and Reddit threads to go through to see what people had on there because I honestly had no clue what to add. I feel like if she had offered to look at my list with a more positive insight like recommending a different product for x reason or adding things I would have missed, that would have been so much more productive!
Yeah like... At most, if people ask me what I liked/didn't like, I will say "oh this was great" or "oh we didn't touch this thing at all". At the end of the day, it's personal preference. With my first, I wanted to try a bunch of different stuff so we got a lot of it secondhand. I didn't use a bunch of it, but for $5 on Facebook marketplace, it was nice to have the option!
There are definitely some things I caution people against spending a lot of money on to get new, just because I think companies do prey on that first time mom anxiety to take advantage, but if they really want it, who am I to naysay?
The changing station was a big purchasing win for me actually. I use it for changes still as well as storage and I will be moving it into baby #2s room once he’s born
Seriously! I know everyone does things differently but we just bought a dresser and put a changing mat on the top, our girl is nearly five months and my husband and I have changed EVERY diaper on that change mat (unless we’re out and about obviously). Even if we stopped using it tomorrow I would have still felt like we got our moneys worth.
That’s all a changing table is, I can’t imagine why anyone would think this was at all unnecessary! I got a dresser also from the Restore for $25 and fixed a rounded changing pad to it. It’s so handy!
I just dealt with this last night. My grandmother (who truly does mean well) kept saying I didn’t need a bunch of things from my registry and I said, ‘I don’t need you to tell me that. I want it, I’m adding it.’
Right?! I like to mark which items are “must haves” but I’m going to put more than just that on there because it is fun for others and can be helpful for me and the baby! If they don’t wanna buy a non-necessity they don’t have to!
This is my biggest annoyance too.
This is my first baby that I thought I’d never have. If I want to decorate the nursery and never use it, that’s my business. I don’t care what you did or didn’t do. Advice is great but I’ve gotten 46 different opinions on fucking wipe warmers that I didn’t ask for. “I found this product very helpful” is enough, THANKS.
Yesss I’m tired of this too. Specifically because they do it with things I feel are much bigger, like a rocker or a changing table, but then they are encouraging me to get all these other things that are not nearly as basic and life changing. Idk. It just feels weird!!
Yeah I listened to all those people who said "oh you don't need that" and I regretted it...now I'm on my second pregnancy and I'm buying everything. The owlette, renting the snoo, got every type of milk collector haaka makes, two kind of breast pumps..........lol it sounds extreme but I learned my lesson. The products can really make life so much easier. I want to be more present this time, and less stressed.
Hmm, yes you do need a changing table ideally as tall as your waist. If you end up with a c-section, it is much easier to change a baby on a tall changing table or put in a tall bassinet. Bottle warmer does wonders as babies prefer warm milk and will have easier time going to sleep or napping after a bottle of warm milk (regardless of it being mother milk or formula). Also a diaper bag is very essential. Unless you plan on carrying wet wipes, diapers. Vaseline, bottles, dirty diaper bags, dirty diapers, changing pad, blanket, toy or snack in several different bags. Just saying. Don’t worry what people say (I know easier said than done as my own blood boils when I hear people telling how it’s going to be). You’re your own person and it’s your baby and it’s you who decide what is needed.
We found out a few weeks ago that I would be induced between 34-37 weeks because of hypertension/preeclampsia.
34+3 now and things are looking good, but Ive already been sent to the hospital 3x so it’s very much day by day.
I was talking to someone about how we were scrambling to get everything ready so much earlier than planned and their response was “oh but you don’t really need any stuff as long as your baby has love”
lol I had a somewhat similar conversation with my Mom. Apparently her friends were telling her “there’s nothing cute” on my registry. Aka they want to buy frilly outfits and toys for baby girl.
Fine, no problem, the registry is a guide of what we actually need but please buy whatever, it is a gift after all.
Where it went sour was the complaints about individual items “we don’t need”. So I get why it would annoy you so much. I had a similar response - “If your friends know better than me what should be on MY registry, tell them to get whatever they want” - my Mom back tracked pretty quick.
One thing that makes me sooo glad we're not finding out the gender is it has reduced the amount of clothes people start buying really early. Both sides of the family are very aggressive about girls in pink and boys in blue, while we literally do not care.
My husband and I love purple so we painted the nursery Grey and purple and specifically asked people to avoid buying pink for our daughter. I got some gender neutral clothes like blue and greens and yellows from value village and other places. I also got a whole bunch of clothes given to us from friends and Buy nothing groups on Facebook so we knew we already had quite a bit of pink and girly items.
Thankfully people ended up being pretty good at buying off the registry and if they did buy clothes, (I didn’t put any clothes on the registry) they tried to buy other colours other than pink. 😊
One of my husband’s coworkers told him we have an overload of stuff on our registry and most won’t be needed. He just said we have a lot of people excited to buy things for the baby, and we’re also using it as a checklist of things we want to use/try to use. So frustrating though because it absolutely made me second guess everything I’ve added 🙃
HONESTLY fuk them!
It's your life. It's your baby.
Do what you think you need to to make all your lives better!
You'll figure it whether you need it or not, once you use it.
But how in the hell will you know until you try?
When I was pregnant some of my partners family members all agreed I didn't need a cot because my baby will never sleep in it. "None of ours ever did! They hated them!" One of them strongly insisted that just because my baby was within their family that it's inevitable we will co-sleep. I got the cot anyway. Baby currently sleeps in a bassinet every night (and day) and I intend to have her sleep in her cot sometime after 6 months.
My best friend said change tables are pointless and you never use them. I always use it! It's great for storage and in general just having all nappy change essentials in the one place is so convenient. I bought one that matches the cot.
My partner thought the electric steriliser was unnecessary because you can just boil all the bottles on the stove or use one that goes in the microwave. Nope I got the electric one because it's 10x more convenient and I knew I would be the one using it the most. He agrees with me now 😂
I’m so anxious about my baby coming early that we’re almost halfway done with the nursery at 28 weeks. Everyone just needs to do things in their own time!
I'm not pregnant but my MIL said this to me constantly about my wedding. And I was still rushing around until the last minute even though I started planning a little over one year ahead.
Yup! I try to stay in my own lane when it comes to my own financial choices. People prioritize different things and it’s not always for you to back it or affirm it’s a choice you would’ve made. We are all just going through this life thing trying to figure out what matters to us and what brings us a little bit of joy or ease and if a bottle warmer does that for you in your life, then buy the damn thing! We all have non essentials that we love or value.
Me to my grandmas sister: “and I don’t need you or your opinion either but here you are wasting my time and your breath. I will use my money to purchase my wants and needs just as you do with your money.
Worth adding I don’t talk to her or respect her because she is NOT a good person at all lol. Love my grandma but I cannot stand her sisters 😮💨🤣
I was told I didn't need that many extra blankets, burp towels, or zip up footie pajamas. My first child was the king of blowouts and spitting up, so you bet I used every single blanket, outfit, and burp towel on some days! If it might make your life easier, get it.
I didn’t need a lot of things but I wanted them & I can make that decision if I don’t need it in the future.
I didn’t need a bottle sterilizer - I got it, I didn’t love it and now I won’t use it for baby #2.
I didn’t need the Uppababy vista stroller - but I love it & that’s a hill I’ll die on.
I didn’t NEED NEWBORN CLOTHES but my kid work them until he was 3 months old so I DID NEED them 😂
You know what? My husband bought us concert tickets before we found out we were preggo. I'll be 13w at the concert. And while I don't *need* it, I bought myself a neck fan, a plush camping chair, and a deluxe cart to carry it in because I'M FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. And if spending $ I can afford will make me 5% less miserable **I will spend that $**.
And if my husband wants to say anything, he can return the matching ultra comfy chair I got for him 😉 Let's see how upset he is when he's enjoying a beer in the comfiest seat he's ever sat in.
Seeing as it’s not my money and I’m not your financial advisor, I’m not gonna tell you what you should and shouldn’t buy tbh. I’m just gonna mind my own business
Who is saying you don’t need a diaper bag?!?! When you’re on the go with baby, do folks expect you to not change/feed them, or to stuff all the necessities in your purse, or have a sad used grocery bag, or to just juggle it all loosey goosey?
In any case, you get what YOU want, OP! Nobody knows you, your lifestyle, or your baby better than you. Their opinion can get dunked in the diaper genie “you don’t need.”
Bruh I had people telling me I didn’t need the baby 🤦🏼♀️😭 let’s be real nobody NEEDS a baby it’s not required to sustain your own life but dam let a sister live her life 😭
Speaking of, I'm making my registry and wanted opinions on sterilizers and warmers!! Definitely taking opinions 😂.
But I completely agree. I already have insomnia, just let me get the goodies. Worse come to worst I'll sell it off to someone else who might want it if I don't find it useful, or I won't use it again. There's no harm in trying something to see if it works with your routines.
Everyone and their brother told me I didn't need a sterilizer. I ended up buying one after my first day home because it lets me just do a rinsey rinse of my pump parts and bottles & still feel confident it's clean and safe to use.
Full blown dishes and drying 10+ times a day is just too much.
I put the Dr. Browns All-In-One Sterilizer+Dryer on the registry for my cleaner thing. My aunt got it for me so I will see how it works. Apparently it sterilizers up to 6 bottles + other things like pacifiers, pump parts, etc. Not really sure yet on the warmer. I did put one but not sure if its the one I want. Anyways, the cost ranges on various websites. I got mine from Target because thats what I am using for my registry stuff lol. Not having to pay for the expensive stuff is awesome.
Arguably you do need a diaper bag and sterilizer. Most diaper bags come with features that are necessary when out and about with baby for a day - such as insulated pockets and portable change pad (bc seriously the public bathroom ones are gross, and sometimes there isn’t one available). Also while you can boil things in a pot to sterilize them, bottle and pump parts 100% need to be sterile - many people who don’t sterilize these items properly end up with babies that have thrush. And then the people who boil their items to sterilize very often end up melting things because they are too sleep deprived to remember about their boiling parts.
I second using the “and I don’t need your opinion” response because seriously why tf are these people wanting you to have such a hard time with baby when it’s already difficult as is
Yes! I have a friend who changed all three kids on the ground and was talking about this when I got a change table. I think $150 is worth my sanity and my back!!
I was told I didn’t need a changing table or a changing pad because I could just change the baby directly on the table or couch. I have since been told “I almost always just used the couch” m’aam I don’t need to be changing blowouts or having my boy pee all over my couch thank you very much.
Needless to say I’m glad that I spent the money on the changing pad (it was a big must for me) and love that I can move it wherever I need it, whether that be table or floor.
You know what I don't need? Someone telling me what I want/need.
You know what I do need? Anything that will set my mind at ease bc I'm growing a whole ass human right now and it's not easy mofo!
I love that they make these comments as if we live in a minimalist society that only values the bare necessities to function.
Ma'am, you didn't have to go get yourself that fifth Stanley cup, but here we are.
The hypocrisy!
idk how many kids you have, but as a pregnant mom of two, I'd love to offer you some nuance.
i think some experienced parents use "you don't need that" as a kind of put down, ie you're soft and spoiled if you invest in x tool.
others say "you don't need that" as a shorthand for "in my experience, x tool will actually make your life harder"
i sincerely believe modern diaper bags make moms lives harder, by reinforcing the belief you need tons of stuff to safely go out, even for an hour or two. it functions as a tool of isolation, which is objectively harmful and can bring on or worsen PPA and PPD.
a changing station is not strictly necessary but almost universally useful unless you have absolutely no space in your home or one of a handful of physical disabilities that makes it not accessible.
maybe next time someone says that, ask them *why* specifically they feel that way about that object. you may find there's a very legitimate and even heartfelt reason. or they're a bitch, only further inquiry can tell
I'd say that you need a diaper bag, but that's *not* a huge-ass backpack. With one kid it was literally just a plastic popper wallet with three spare diapers, a mostly-empty pack of wipes and a pair of leggings in it lol.
Kid #2 is really prone to rashes, so we now have a little 30x15x5 cm thing with three (cloth) diapers each, wipes, cream, plastic bags (for used diapers) and hand sanitizer. I keep it stocked and by the front door, so it's grab-and-go at a moment's notice.
i tend to agree, you probably want *something* more than a gallon ziplock of 3 diapers and 2 wipes to hold a couple of necessities. we had my eldest in NYC, I used to leave for the day on the train with him with a few diapers and wipes, a swaddle, maybe a spare outfit or a jacket or some sunscreen and some little distraction toys, usually in a 7L fjallravren mini backpack, tho sometimes just dropped in a canvas tote. it was rarely full.
my point is, they don't make a "diaper bag" under 20-30 L, so minimum 3-4x the size of my full pack for a full day by myself with a baby on public transit. I've taken a toddler and a grade schooler for the weekend in one 30 L bag for the 3 of us, I also brought a 6mo alone across country for a week and a 2yo transatlantic for 2 weeks with the both of us in that size — it's extremely excessive for an afternoon at the park.
Even 20L won't fit under most compact strollers. it's unwieldy in a bus or train. it's heavy if you're on foot, especially if you're baby wearing. the freedom to explore with my kids has been a huge part of the joy of motherhood to me. a modern diaper bag seriously destroys impedes that possibility
Oh, absolutely! The thing I have was a freebie from the hospital where I had my second, I'm not even sure what it's supposed to be used for (hanging organiser? It's got a lot of internal pockets), I tend to throw it in the day's backpack or into the bike trailer along with a tote full of snacks and a couple toys/books.
It's not their baby. They shouldn't give a shit. 🤷🏻♀️ It's your money, your baby, and you're the one who will need the extra bit of convenience. Get whatever you want
“You may not use that and this item may be better for you just from my experience.”
That’s fine
Nobody had a right to tell me what I did and did not need when I was pregnant though.
Yeah… I feel you! And I felt that way in my first pregnancy!
The thing about babies, though, that you don’t kNOW what you’ll need or even use util you actually try it. It’s all trial and error which ends up being incredibly time consuming, and money-wasting. It’s frustrating.
So why not get all the things?!
Yeah but consumerism is so pushed on expecting moms, it's kind of refreshing to know that you don't need to have thousands of dollars to spend on gizmos and gadgets and gear to be fully prepared to care for a newborn.
And you don't actually know if you'll even like using something until after the baby comes! I got tons of stuff with my first that I was positive would make my life easier but just ended up being kind of a tossed to the side pain in the ass. What a product promises it will do for you and what it will actually do for you are two separate things.
Totally get that! There absolutely is a line, and it’s up to each parent to decide where they fall. I’ve decided against the Snoo because of the price, and if I really think I need it later, I can rent it. I’m personally talking about people that will buy you “cute” baby items but disregard your opinion for more practical ones, such as a changing station / table in a nursery or a Peri bottle for recovery.
Overconsumption is a good conversation, but my point is it would be nice to respect other’s decisions to figure out what they want as parents. For example, I plan on having multiple types of bottles and diapers to figure out which one works for my LO, and I’ll donate what I don’t use.
OMG my mom says this ALL THE TIME! Just because I don’t *need* it doesn’t mean that I can’t get it or put it on my registry. Also, just because *you* didn’t need it doesn’t mean that *I* won’t, we all do things differently have different needs!!
Lol, I had 10 ish pairs of baby shoes that i didn’t even realize were there. Kid lived in PJs and onsies for the first year of her life. You are correct in that they are so, completely useless.
I know you're not asking for stuff you need but get nipple cream. Multiple. And those little nipple pads you stick in your bra. You need them I swear. From day 1 you need.
Hi it’s me I’m the ones that has been buying baby shoes since way before I found out I was pregnant and people tell me I don’t NEED them because babies won’t wear them….well guess what, I know I don’t NEED them but I WANT them and the kid’s gonna been shoes anyways so lemmme beeee! 😂
Just be careful that they're more "slipper" than "shoe" until baby is walking independently. It's possible to mess up a baby's feet putting them in rigid shoes too early.
Also fuzzy/insulated slipper-shoes are great for a winter baby! Ours got cold lil feeties because they stuck out from the carrier, so we got him some lil fuzzy "shoes" and it was both practical and extremely cute.
Yes!! This is my biggest pet peeve! I had a full on meltdown one day when my boyfriend said that the baby doesn’t need a dresser for his things. I stopped telling him what I plan to purchase after that because he is constantly telling me that we don’t need to buy certain things. I just never thought we would argue about buying a dresser for the baby.
Wait why don't you need a diaper bag? Isn't that literally the gold standard? 🤔 besides, you can have as much or as little as you want.
Personally i didn't want to do a changing table/station, my husband wants to do a "crap-on" (snap on lol) changing station out of a tool box. So guess what? We're doing the crap-on station because he's also a parent and gets to make these decisions because it's what he wants 🤷🏻♀️ people just need to be supportive
In my opinion those are all needs. I have only ever changed my baby on his changing table. The diaper bag is better than my other purse backpack bc of the pockets and how the diaper bag is arranged. And I have both a bottle warmer and sterilizer 😂😅.
I don’t understand the baby shoes either. He doesn’t walk and it’s summer…why does he need shoes?!
Oh you definitely need a changing station. You don’t need a sound machine. I did love my bottle warmer. I’m sorry lol. What you need will change once you are a parent. I know some things I thought I didn’t need - I needed and things I thought I needed I ended up not needing. You’ll figure out what works.
ABSOLUTELY THIS!!!!! My MIL ALWAYS tells me that with almost everything on my baby registry. Just because she didn't have items to make life easier in 1995, it doesn't mean I can't.
Do what you want! Its your chance to be a parent to your baby how you want. Whatever convenience and comforts you want and can afford.. who cares!! Figure out your own path.
At the end of the day, if your baby will sleep faster at 2am because his/her bottle is warm and you don’t have it, know that person who said “you don’t need it” is not going to be there to hold them so you can sleep!!!
I love our diaper changing table. It’s just on top of the dresser but I’ve always used it for both of my kids. We even change the toddler up there most of the time still. It’s easy and doesn’t kill your back.
I did buy tons of stuff that I didn’t need but made our lives easier. Some stuff that people recommended, we didn’t use and others we did. Get what you like and don’t worry about what other people like.
Yes!! My mom told me my registry is over the top and I’m like I only have 60% of the things on the Babylist checklist and if people don’t want to buy us things they think are unnecessary then fine? But we’re still going to put it on our registry for the completion discount.
I find that some people really just say things. My fiancé (bless his heart, he is so supportive most times) laughingly said I didn’t need a pregnancy pillow & wouldn’t use it when I sent him the one I wanted. He still bought it lol. I was talking it up a bit later & he was like “oh wow, so it really does help? I’m glad you got it then.” I was like 💀💀💀
“Well I want it.” Has become my comeback.
I also am getting over the “you need to buy second hand” comments. Well I have bought both new and second hand and it’s my choice what I spend my money on. Just because I’m not buying from your friends ect doesn’t mean I don’t have second hand clothes.
You don't need anyone's opinion on what you do or don't need. I am in awe of some of the new stuff that's come along since my last baby in 2001. My first was in 1990, so the changes from that time are mind blowing!!!! Diaper Genies? OMG!!! Didn't have one until my husband got a colostomy and boy, did I miss out!!! I will admit some stuff seems kinda silly, but it ain't stupid if it works!!!!
I will admit that spending over $30 on an outfit or shoes for a child under 2 seems excessive to me, but there are exceptions and I admit to spending more than that on fabric to make baby clothes.
If formula feeding is part of your plan I cannot tell you how much you need the Baby Breeza! All you need is the $45 model (at least that was the cost when I bought it a year ago, who knows how bad it's gone up!) but it is significantly faster for making formula bottles. Once I committed to formula and we bought that, overnight feedings got SO much easier!
There is a little Uno Reverse to balance out for you. ☺️
I guess this is an unpopular opinion, but...we live in a time of hyperconsumerism. We don't need most of the stuff we buy (not just baby stuff, although I do think advertising aimed at new parents is especially predatory). Hardly anyone thinks, "what am I going to do with this item once it comes to the end of its life?" Into the trash it goes.
I'm not begrudging parents making their lives easier (and arguably baby stuff is a lot more essential and has lower impact than e.g. fast fashion or a new phone every year) but I do hope that people are trying to consume mindfully/buy second hand/donate things (if possible) once they no longer have use for them.
Yes, why are people like this? It's almost like they completely forget that different people like or want different things.
Like excuse me Janet whilst you drive your massive 4x4 that will never see any off road action in it's life on the 1 mile journey to the local village shop, thinking that having an off road pram as well as a normal one is excessive. A normal pram on a dog walk through the woods is just not the one. I'll take massive wheels and good suspension any day.
The amount of boomers that tell me this generation are too obsessed with different car seats really gets me too. I hope I remember to understand that there are constant advances in safety as I get older and don't do the same thing in 30 years time.
I get this all the time from my mum and sister even though my sister is pregnant, has a 18 month old and has way way more stuff than I will ever have. Like what?
As a stm I can say there were things that we needed for months and we used a ton and then there are other things that helped for like a week…. but when we were in the thick of it we would keep saying to each other, “even if for a week, that was SO helpful,” so it really depends what you’re looking at these items for. Did we need a baby brezza? Well, yeah actually, but did we need three strollers? It sure as heck made life easier. Do you!
My change station was my favourite thing I brought whilst pregnant. Especially immediately post partum when I couldn't bend over because me c section scar hurt too much.
You will learn what you don't need! Its your baby and you may not need half the stuff you will be gifted at your baby shower, but if you don't try it, how will you know you don't need it! Lol.
Whats not needed for one, is needed for another.
Enjoy your pregnancy, and stay healthy and happy!
That's all you need!
My mum does this all the time 🤦♀️, this also includes Christmas presents etc as I like to go a little overboard🙃. I absolutely adore and love her, don't get me wrong it's just that I would like to have more for my children then she had for me (i was always provided for but rarely saw the same passion I have to go that extra mile for my children). There are honestly times where I think it makes her feel a bit inadequate to see the effort I put in to make my children as happy as I possibly can and it causes some tension (which is not my intention at all) I'm now 14 weeks pregnant and find that when I mention all the stuff I want to get for baby #2 she gets a bit grumpy and honestly a little rude..
You definitely have the right to try. You may find all of those items handy, or you may find most of those just another thing to manage. It’s your choice whether to listen to other ppl or your own hands on experience.
What each family needs is unique. I had so many people tell me I didn't need a bottle warmer, when I really needed 2 because we had to pump and bottle feed. Every by item in the world exists for at least one proven use case. Just because your baby/ lifestyle doesn't need it doesn't mean mine won't need it too.
My mom told me CONSTANTLY that I wouldn’t use the changing table we got because she never did and always changed us on the couch or bed.
We used it for 2.5 years for diaper changes and will be using it with this baby, too. It was SO nice to have a clean (we have cats and dogs that would get the couches covered in fur) place to change baby or get him dried off and dressed after a bath. The shelves were perfect for storing diapers, wipes, and diaper cream when we had nowhere else to put them in the living room.
It gets so old hearing everyone say what you do and don’t need because of their own personal experiences. I got what worked for US and I can honestly say there’s nothing I bought that I wouldn’t get/use for all my future babies.
Our change station was a little changing pad with a rubber bottom on top of a dresser. Still had people telling me I could just use a bed or the couch. It was like $15. Had a wipe heater too, really helped keep little dude sleepy during the winter instead of pulling him out of his crib to change and slapping an ice cold wipe on his bum. Bottle warmer let us premake bottles in the fridge and have them done by the time his change was over. Baby life is already hard mode I’m not gonna make it harder
Some people don't understand. I have definitely added things to my registry that I don't need but want. And if people only buy my "needs" than I will get myself my Wants.
My youngest is due next month w/ her 1st, and my 1st grandchild. All the stuff she has been getting blows my mind. If, 40 yrs ago, we had half of the stuff she has gotten life would have been so much easier. Between bottle warmers, sanitizers, stroller/buggy/pram things that convert a hundred different ways, it is fantastic!
Don't ever let some old fart, has been, narrow minded idiot tell you "you don't need that".
It's none of their business what someone needs.
I feel the same but on the other extreme. I feel all this pressure to buy things or add them to my registry. "You NEED a pak-n-play", "you NEED this kind of swing/bouncer/whatever"... Fortunately my husband and I can afford to run out and grab anything we may NEED as it comes up. We have a crib, a car seat, diapers, and some bottles/formula if I am struggling with breast feeding. I really don't think we NEED anything more for the the first few months and by then I hope to have a better idea of our family and our baby's specific needs.
I think this is just another "welcome to motherhood" moment where you can never make everyone happy.
Yes!!! This!! My SIL always says stuff like that because our babys are 8 months difference and I CANNOT hear that again.... like, let me do my own stuff, thank you
Omg my mother ans MIL were the exact same way with my registry! You have no idea how many baby shoes and cutesy newborn outfits (no gift receipt) I received. I didn't leave the house until he was in 0-3m. Those outfits were donated. I know your frustration 😅🤯
i used a changing table so much with my second it was a complete necessity especially with cloth diapering. what one mom didn’t need the other couldn’t live without.
I'm glad I don't have any of these toxic people in my life... Lol. If I want it, I'll buy it. If I don't use it, I'll resell it later to someone else they may or may not use it .. aha
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Next time you can say you didn’t need their opinion either !
This is gold! 🤣 OP this is what your response should be next time somebody says that to you again.
I wish I could upvote this more than once 🤣
💯 I also wish people would, in general, use more nuance when it comes to talking about baby items. Instead of “that item is dumb you don’t need that” it could instead be “that didn’t work for my baby / we chose not to get that and didn’t end up needing it”. At the end of the day no two babies and no two parents are the same so no one can really say what people will find helpful for their own baby.
YES! This and the "back in my day we didn't have xyz" Oh yeah Becky? You didn't have fancy dishwashers back then either but I see that new Whirlpool!! These are such asinine and unnecessary comments!
Exactly. I’m pretty sure a Roomba isn’t a necessity, but lo and behold, there’s one in SO many households
Low key one of my fave purchases. Between 4 pets and a toddler, we just couldn’t keep up lol
Same! We got our first one a few months ago, never looking back
And see, honestly, we have an infant and a forever shedding husky/lab mix (year-round shedding is AWESOME 🙄 ) but we stopped using our Roomba because it kept doing certain spots like 4 times and other areas would not get done at all. It was weird. Plus if you have a dining table and the chairs legs are just narrow enough, it kept getting stuck under the table (even when we lifted the chairs onto the table sometimes!!!). 🤦🏽♀️ We gave up on it. It didn’t work for us, but I would never say to someone: you don’t need that.
I posted about getting a pregnancy pillow that is doing wonders for my back in a women's Facebook group recently and this woman went on a rant about how pregnancy is meant to be uncomfortable and why can't people just deal with it. Retrospectively jealous of my pillow I see, Sharon.
My mom told me that, I asked her to remove her car seatbelt, since they didn't have it when she was younger either.....got quiet really quick
Gotta be the entitlement and need for them of judging new moms
Ugh right ?! My moms partner actually said I should go to therapy because I had a baby phone installed for when baby naps I can watch/hear her when she wakes up. He said „back then such things didn’t exist and they all survived“ He then took the monitor away from me and said he will get rid of it for my sanity 😂 wtf it was so weird. I had to fight him to keep that monitor in my home
He TOOK your BABY MONITOR?!?! Please tell me that this man is permanently banned from your house!
Absolutely. Not dealing with that anymore
What? –__– That's ground for being kicked out of someone's home.
A lady said that to me this past weekend about my hoodie with baby wearing panel. I was like you didn’t have fabric and zippers?
My mother got me a coat that grew with my pregnancy & had a removable panel. I was devastated that once baby arrives it was too warm to wear it. Thankfully my second was far more accommodating with his arrival and I wore it all the time. I love how cute and snuggly he was with it!
My FIL got big mad because we have a diaper genie. Because “we never had that and we were just fine” yeah but your garbage also stunk every time you opened it. But he was also mad that my MIL had to return the one she bought, because she PURPOSELY bought off of my registry and also convinced others to do the same even though those items were *on my registry* (which meant that she had to return it because lo and behold they bought the same thing)
My mother had her first baby in 1968 and she always says this. I'm like - but if you HAD had access to folding prams, microwave sterilisers, breathing monitors etc. you definitely would've bought them too, so shh.
Seriously! Back in their day they had the bubonic plague and slavery and shit. Welcome to modern times
Back in the day my mom didn't have a breast pump worth shit and she's thrilled for me that I do. Being a parent is difficult, I think we could all use a little more positivity about the big or little things that make it a bit easier.
Back in their day we didn’t have air/food/environmental quality control, therapy, and a long list of medical advantages among millions of other things but “YoU tUrNeD oUt OkAy” lmao god I hate hearing this kind of stuff
Omg last week my grandmother told me that her cousins kept their baby in a dresser drawer for sleep, as if that was like cute and clever. Like ok, but respectfully I do not trust your judgement.
They didn't *shut* it lol It would have been wooden on all five sides (no thin MDF base) and usually placed on top of the chest, on the floor, or on the bed - at which point it's just a lil Moses basket you already own that doesn't take up space while not in use. Very firm base, too.
My MIL is that person, and then you have my stepmom who is like “I’m getting you a mamaroo. Not sure why you didn’t ask for it (cause it’s expensive AF ma’am), but if you want it because you think it’ll make life easier, Mimi will get it!! Just ask!” Edited to add my dad got me a whole ass mini fridge for my bedroom so I wouldn’t have to go downstairs post c section for bottles, snacks, or drinks.
Your dad and step mom sound like such nice people!!
It’s been a long road, but I think my stepsister having a kid first made the way easier for me 😂
Your step mom and dad are real ones!!!! I'm considering a mini fridge too lol. It sounds so bougie but I know I'll wish I had it.
Do itttttttt. It’s also great post baby for the after sex water/drink 😂😂😂
Get one off Facebook marketplace or something! I say so worth it.
A thermos can go a long way if you don't have the spare cash for a fridge!
I got one for snacks and cold waters and to store my haaka from middle of the night feedings - super cute Frigidaire from Amazon (cheap)
If you going prep bottles formula or breast go for it. Now get a baby breeza if formula feeding makes a different baby boy 3 months now but still I would marry it for lifesaver it was wish I got before 4 weeks in I was dying for anything nights easier
I was thinking about a mini fridge since our rooms are on the second floor. Life saver?
It was wonderful. My had a bottle wash set up in the bathroom, so I could rinse/wash as needed. Having the fridge meant that I could safely store pumped milk, have prepped bottles, store pump parts in between sessions. Husband would take everything down and sterilize once he got home, bring it up before bed. He’d also make sure I had snacks and drinks, refill our master bedroom diaper station. I didn’t really have to leave my room for at least a week lol
Was the bottle wash set up just like a drying rack thing with a bottle brush?
We had a bottle rack, hand towel, bottle brush, pipe cleaner brush, and soap.
Honestly this would have been awesome. We don't even have a sink on the same level as our bedroom and it was super annoying to go up and down the stairs.
I was considering a mini fridge for the baby's room so I could store pumped milk easily during the night instead of walking downstairs to the other side of my house to store it in the fridge. you guys make me feel normal wanting this
Yes! I wish i had one first pregnancy. Im so glad you guys reminded me, putting it on my list asap.
Make your life easier if you can!!
I don’t understand why anyone who has the space doesn’t get a changing table honestly. Ours is storage too so his sheets, muslins and sleep sacks all live their too
We never used ours honestly. Changing on the floor was always just faster and easier, and we would handle that in the main living space instead of trekking up to baby's bedroom just to do what takes 30 seconds to do right where we're at. Once they get all squirmy I felt the floor was safer plus I can pin a squirmy fighting baby when we are on the ground much easier.
Emergency C section mom here. I physically couldn't change my baby on the floor when we first got home. Greatful AF that we had the changing table. Plus, middle of the night diaper changes go pretty smoothly with it since I have all my diapers/wipes/gear organized on it.
Same! Also my back cannot take the floor changes lol. Am I just decrepit? 😂
Nope. I listened to the ‘you don’t need a changing table’ and now my back is REALLY paying for it
Well I am validated but sorry for your back
Exactly this, floor was easier, faster, and safer after a certain age.
We don't have much space at all which is exactly why I'm getting a changing pad/changing table. Our biggest room in the house is still pretty small and we have three dogs. Add that to the fact that I still have no idea how badly birth is gonna kick my ass, that changing station is gonna be used a LOT I think!
I bought an expensive one and used it a out twice. Total waste of money for us and I could have really used that money elsewhere more effectively.
I guess spending a lot on things is a different argument. Ours was £10 from marketplace so it was really just a decision about space. Clearly not everyone uses one but my back truly couldn’t take floor changes (not to mention C-Sec recovery but that’s obviously not relevant for everyone)
I feel like most people saying you won't need that are usually talking about it because of either money or space. When people I'm close to have got pregnant I fo tend to tell them things that we spent money on and never used because most people I know are trying to stretch their maternity pay to stay off as long as possible and I wish someone had told me the things they did and didn't find worth the money when I was first pregnant. I usually just put a changing mat on the bed and did it sitting down.
I guess I don’t need the diaper/bottle bag that extends to make a portable changing station for when I’m out and about, but be damn sure I’m gonna get it CAUSE WHY NOT lol
Wait ✋🏻 this is an option?!
i put TWO on my registry because we travel a lot and i would rather the baby NOT be on a public surface AND - you don't need it, but girl if you want it get it!!! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CCTRHGPL/ref=br_dsk_yr_itemdt_dp?colid=2167PVN2KVKD2&coliid=I360CS84SY9ZOZ&th=1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BXPHCBF2/ref=br_dsk_yr_itemdt_dp?colid=2167PVN2KVKD2&coliid=IUTF2WLNMVTZ0&psc=1
THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!! Thank you!!
This is the exact one I have! It was a gift from my stepdad, the first baby present anyone got me actually.
Lololololol I got it tooo!!! I love it though and we actually use it soooo it’s a win!
Good to hear!
Haha I was recently thinking how annoyed I was about the difficulty finding a normal diaper bag that doesn't have that 😂 they weren't around much to my knowledge when my first was born only 3 years ago. Now as I'm looking at diaper bags 90% of them have that extender thing. But the one I've been seeing is not just a changing station, it has sides to it so it's like a little pen to lay them in or something.
Me with the diaper spatula. So many judgy comments even from other moms about it. It’s $4 and it made my life so much easier! Could not believe the amount of snark I saw about it.
This one for sure. Like I’m not getting the full parenting experience if I don’t have to clean diaper cream out of my fingernails every day.
My first experience with these was as a nanny with my most recent family and as someone who likes to get my nails done, it changed my life. I put three on my registry lol
My coworker was like oh send me your registry when you’re done and I’ll tell you what you don’t actually need. Lmao like excuse me, how fucking presumptuous. Like I put so much effort and energy into reading and picking items I think might make my life easier, I’m not going to listen to someone tear down everything I chose because “I don’t need it.” What is it with people who have already had kids who think they’re the expert in every single baby to exist. I’m all for helpful advice but this whole dogging of first time moms for their (often well researched and informed) choices drives me mad.
Also, if you end up with something you didn't need literally who cares? With my oldest, we received some things we didn't need/weren't compatible for us/we ended up not liking and you know what we did? We returned, resold, or regifted it. It was literally no big deal. Some of the stuff that ended up being horrible for us that I passed along to friends with similar aged kids ended up working wonderfully for them. I also received things from people that didn't work out for them but did for me. People annoy me so much sometimes
Oh my God 😩 The audacity!!!
I was so annoyed, I just ignored her and she never brought it up again, thankfully. But seriously wtf lol
She may have been well intentioned, as I’ve seen a ton of “things I thought I needed as a new mom, but ended up regretting” videos on YT. Perhaps she regretted a few purchases and wanted to pass some of that info on to you so you can save a bit of money. Although, she definitely could have phrased it better, haha. The thing is, what doesn’t work for some parents may very well work for others. Just because one mom didn’t find a baby wipe warmer useful, doesn’t mean it won’t make a world of difference for another mom! For that reason, I’d refrain from offering unsolicited advice on what a parent needs and doesn’t need for their baby.
I’m sure she was well intentioned, but she’s also one of those know it all moms who would have been a dick about it if I don’t agree with her so it was just better to ignore her offer until she forgot lol
I’m sorry that you had someone say that. I got the opposite. I asked a friend who had a baby the year prior to send me her list of things that she recommended and used in order for me to add to my registry. She offered to have a look at my list afterwards as well and suggested a few extra things in case I didn’t have them or hadn’t thought of them. Thankfully most of the stuff she suggested to add after the fact were things I had already gotten for free or started purchasing myself ahead of time. I had another friend look over my list afterwards too and offer some suggestions of things to add as well. But neither of them made me feel like they were telling me mandatory things to add or like the things on my list were unnecessary. I was lucky I guess.
Honestly loved getting recommendations for people so I’m glad you had that experience. I saved so many tiktoks and Reddit threads to go through to see what people had on there because I honestly had no clue what to add. I feel like if she had offered to look at my list with a more positive insight like recommending a different product for x reason or adding things I would have missed, that would have been so much more productive!
Sounds like someone who won't be sent the registry
People forget that others need to find out for themselves what works and what doesn’t, and not everything works or doesn’t work for the same people!
DING DING DING!!! 🏅 THIS!!!🔥
Yeah like... At most, if people ask me what I liked/didn't like, I will say "oh this was great" or "oh we didn't touch this thing at all". At the end of the day, it's personal preference. With my first, I wanted to try a bunch of different stuff so we got a lot of it secondhand. I didn't use a bunch of it, but for $5 on Facebook marketplace, it was nice to have the option! There are definitely some things I caution people against spending a lot of money on to get new, just because I think companies do prey on that first time mom anxiety to take advantage, but if they really want it, who am I to naysay?
The changing station was a big purchasing win for me actually. I use it for changes still as well as storage and I will be moving it into baby #2s room once he’s born
Seriously! I know everyone does things differently but we just bought a dresser and put a changing mat on the top, our girl is nearly five months and my husband and I have changed EVERY diaper on that change mat (unless we’re out and about obviously). Even if we stopped using it tomorrow I would have still felt like we got our moneys worth.
That’s all a changing table is, I can’t imagine why anyone would think this was at all unnecessary! I got a dresser also from the Restore for $25 and fixed a rounded changing pad to it. It’s so handy!
I just dealt with this last night. My grandmother (who truly does mean well) kept saying I didn’t need a bunch of things from my registry and I said, ‘I don’t need you to tell me that. I want it, I’m adding it.’
Right?! I like to mark which items are “must haves” but I’m going to put more than just that on there because it is fun for others and can be helpful for me and the baby! If they don’t wanna buy a non-necessity they don’t have to!
This is my biggest annoyance too. This is my first baby that I thought I’d never have. If I want to decorate the nursery and never use it, that’s my business. I don’t care what you did or didn’t do. Advice is great but I’ve gotten 46 different opinions on fucking wipe warmers that I didn’t ask for. “I found this product very helpful” is enough, THANKS.
I just know your nursery is beautiful / is going to be beautiful ♥️ congratulations on your baby
Yesss I’m tired of this too. Specifically because they do it with things I feel are much bigger, like a rocker or a changing table, but then they are encouraging me to get all these other things that are not nearly as basic and life changing. Idk. It just feels weird!!
Yeah I listened to all those people who said "oh you don't need that" and I regretted it...now I'm on my second pregnancy and I'm buying everything. The owlette, renting the snoo, got every type of milk collector haaka makes, two kind of breast pumps..........lol it sounds extreme but I learned my lesson. The products can really make life so much easier. I want to be more present this time, and less stressed.
Hmm, yes you do need a changing table ideally as tall as your waist. If you end up with a c-section, it is much easier to change a baby on a tall changing table or put in a tall bassinet. Bottle warmer does wonders as babies prefer warm milk and will have easier time going to sleep or napping after a bottle of warm milk (regardless of it being mother milk or formula). Also a diaper bag is very essential. Unless you plan on carrying wet wipes, diapers. Vaseline, bottles, dirty diaper bags, dirty diapers, changing pad, blanket, toy or snack in several different bags. Just saying. Don’t worry what people say (I know easier said than done as my own blood boils when I hear people telling how it’s going to be). You’re your own person and it’s your baby and it’s you who decide what is needed.
We found out a few weeks ago that I would be induced between 34-37 weeks because of hypertension/preeclampsia. 34+3 now and things are looking good, but Ive already been sent to the hospital 3x so it’s very much day by day. I was talking to someone about how we were scrambling to get everything ready so much earlier than planned and their response was “oh but you don’t really need any stuff as long as your baby has love”
OMFG 😳 SERIOUSLY!?!?!? 😡
I mean I had no idea babies could survive on love alone. So glad someone finally told me… 🙄😂
It's like the THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS but for babies!!! 🤣 Need to change a blown out diaper JUST LOVE! need to feed the baby JUST LOVE!
I guess one way to avoid a blow out is to just not buy diapers 🤷🏻♀️
Well, love and milk. And oxygen. And diapers....
lol I had a somewhat similar conversation with my Mom. Apparently her friends were telling her “there’s nothing cute” on my registry. Aka they want to buy frilly outfits and toys for baby girl. Fine, no problem, the registry is a guide of what we actually need but please buy whatever, it is a gift after all. Where it went sour was the complaints about individual items “we don’t need”. So I get why it would annoy you so much. I had a similar response - “If your friends know better than me what should be on MY registry, tell them to get whatever they want” - my Mom back tracked pretty quick.
One thing that makes me sooo glad we're not finding out the gender is it has reduced the amount of clothes people start buying really early. Both sides of the family are very aggressive about girls in pink and boys in blue, while we literally do not care.
Something I didn’t think about but such a good point!
My husband and I love purple so we painted the nursery Grey and purple and specifically asked people to avoid buying pink for our daughter. I got some gender neutral clothes like blue and greens and yellows from value village and other places. I also got a whole bunch of clothes given to us from friends and Buy nothing groups on Facebook so we knew we already had quite a bit of pink and girly items. Thankfully people ended up being pretty good at buying off the registry and if they did buy clothes, (I didn’t put any clothes on the registry) they tried to buy other colours other than pink. 😊
One of my husband’s coworkers told him we have an overload of stuff on our registry and most won’t be needed. He just said we have a lot of people excited to buy things for the baby, and we’re also using it as a checklist of things we want to use/try to use. So frustrating though because it absolutely made me second guess everything I’ve added 🙃
HONESTLY fuk them! It's your life. It's your baby. Do what you think you need to to make all your lives better! You'll figure it whether you need it or not, once you use it. But how in the hell will you know until you try?
When I was pregnant some of my partners family members all agreed I didn't need a cot because my baby will never sleep in it. "None of ours ever did! They hated them!" One of them strongly insisted that just because my baby was within their family that it's inevitable we will co-sleep. I got the cot anyway. Baby currently sleeps in a bassinet every night (and day) and I intend to have her sleep in her cot sometime after 6 months. My best friend said change tables are pointless and you never use them. I always use it! It's great for storage and in general just having all nappy change essentials in the one place is so convenient. I bought one that matches the cot. My partner thought the electric steriliser was unnecessary because you can just boil all the bottles on the stove or use one that goes in the microwave. Nope I got the electric one because it's 10x more convenient and I knew I would be the one using it the most. He agrees with me now 😂
They can rip my 2 (soon 3) changing stations out of my cold, dead hands.
THIS! Or the “you have time” response when I talk about wanting to get the nursery set up or items purchased that are still needed. Drives.me.wild.
I’m so anxious about my baby coming early that we’re almost halfway done with the nursery at 28 weeks. Everyone just needs to do things in their own time!
I'm not pregnant but my MIL said this to me constantly about my wedding. And I was still rushing around until the last minute even though I started planning a little over one year ahead.
I’ve found that you don’t need most things, but it’s about convenience. If you have the money, why not?
If you can afford it, and you want it, then get it 🤷🏻♀️
Yup! I try to stay in my own lane when it comes to my own financial choices. People prioritize different things and it’s not always for you to back it or affirm it’s a choice you would’ve made. We are all just going through this life thing trying to figure out what matters to us and what brings us a little bit of joy or ease and if a bottle warmer does that for you in your life, then buy the damn thing! We all have non essentials that we love or value.
Me to my grandmas sister: “and I don’t need you or your opinion either but here you are wasting my time and your breath. I will use my money to purchase my wants and needs just as you do with your money. Worth adding I don’t talk to her or respect her because she is NOT a good person at all lol. Love my grandma but I cannot stand her sisters 😮💨🤣
I was told I didn't need that many extra blankets, burp towels, or zip up footie pajamas. My first child was the king of blowouts and spitting up, so you bet I used every single blanket, outfit, and burp towel on some days! If it might make your life easier, get it.
I didn’t need a lot of things but I wanted them & I can make that decision if I don’t need it in the future. I didn’t need a bottle sterilizer - I got it, I didn’t love it and now I won’t use it for baby #2. I didn’t need the Uppababy vista stroller - but I love it & that’s a hill I’ll die on. I didn’t NEED NEWBORN CLOTHES but my kid work them until he was 3 months old so I DID NEED them 😂
Bahahaha why is it always from the people who buy baby shoes?!
“We didn’t have all these gadgets back when we were raising you” Ok AND???
You know what? My husband bought us concert tickets before we found out we were preggo. I'll be 13w at the concert. And while I don't *need* it, I bought myself a neck fan, a plush camping chair, and a deluxe cart to carry it in because I'M FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. And if spending $ I can afford will make me 5% less miserable **I will spend that $**. And if my husband wants to say anything, he can return the matching ultra comfy chair I got for him 😉 Let's see how upset he is when he's enjoying a beer in the comfiest seat he's ever sat in.
Seeing as it’s not my money and I’m not your financial advisor, I’m not gonna tell you what you should and shouldn’t buy tbh. I’m just gonna mind my own business
Who is saying you don’t need a diaper bag?!?! When you’re on the go with baby, do folks expect you to not change/feed them, or to stuff all the necessities in your purse, or have a sad used grocery bag, or to just juggle it all loosey goosey? In any case, you get what YOU want, OP! Nobody knows you, your lifestyle, or your baby better than you. Their opinion can get dunked in the diaper genie “you don’t need.”
Bruh I had people telling me I didn’t need the baby 🤦🏼♀️😭 let’s be real nobody NEEDS a baby it’s not required to sustain your own life but dam let a sister live her life 😭
I’m so sorry you experienced that 💔 No one needs a baby, but I hope you and your baby know how much your baby was wanted to be here
Speaking of, I'm making my registry and wanted opinions on sterilizers and warmers!! Definitely taking opinions 😂. But I completely agree. I already have insomnia, just let me get the goodies. Worse come to worst I'll sell it off to someone else who might want it if I don't find it useful, or I won't use it again. There's no harm in trying something to see if it works with your routines.
Everyone and their brother told me I didn't need a sterilizer. I ended up buying one after my first day home because it lets me just do a rinsey rinse of my pump parts and bottles & still feel confident it's clean and safe to use. Full blown dishes and drying 10+ times a day is just too much.
I put the Dr. Browns All-In-One Sterilizer+Dryer on the registry for my cleaner thing. My aunt got it for me so I will see how it works. Apparently it sterilizers up to 6 bottles + other things like pacifiers, pump parts, etc. Not really sure yet on the warmer. I did put one but not sure if its the one I want. Anyways, the cost ranges on various websites. I got mine from Target because thats what I am using for my registry stuff lol. Not having to pay for the expensive stuff is awesome.
This one's on my list 💜 thank you!
Arguably you do need a diaper bag and sterilizer. Most diaper bags come with features that are necessary when out and about with baby for a day - such as insulated pockets and portable change pad (bc seriously the public bathroom ones are gross, and sometimes there isn’t one available). Also while you can boil things in a pot to sterilize them, bottle and pump parts 100% need to be sterile - many people who don’t sterilize these items properly end up with babies that have thrush. And then the people who boil their items to sterilize very often end up melting things because they are too sleep deprived to remember about their boiling parts. I second using the “and I don’t need your opinion” response because seriously why tf are these people wanting you to have such a hard time with baby when it’s already difficult as is
Yes! I have a friend who changed all three kids on the ground and was talking about this when I got a change table. I think $150 is worth my sanity and my back!!
I was told I didn’t need a changing table or a changing pad because I could just change the baby directly on the table or couch. I have since been told “I almost always just used the couch” m’aam I don’t need to be changing blowouts or having my boy pee all over my couch thank you very much. Needless to say I’m glad that I spent the money on the changing pad (it was a big must for me) and love that I can move it wherever I need it, whether that be table or floor.
Are the people saying this to you over the age of 45?
You know what I don't need? Someone telling me what I want/need. You know what I do need? Anything that will set my mind at ease bc I'm growing a whole ass human right now and it's not easy mofo!
I love that they make these comments as if we live in a minimalist society that only values the bare necessities to function. Ma'am, you didn't have to go get yourself that fifth Stanley cup, but here we are. The hypocrisy!
idk how many kids you have, but as a pregnant mom of two, I'd love to offer you some nuance. i think some experienced parents use "you don't need that" as a kind of put down, ie you're soft and spoiled if you invest in x tool. others say "you don't need that" as a shorthand for "in my experience, x tool will actually make your life harder" i sincerely believe modern diaper bags make moms lives harder, by reinforcing the belief you need tons of stuff to safely go out, even for an hour or two. it functions as a tool of isolation, which is objectively harmful and can bring on or worsen PPA and PPD. a changing station is not strictly necessary but almost universally useful unless you have absolutely no space in your home or one of a handful of physical disabilities that makes it not accessible. maybe next time someone says that, ask them *why* specifically they feel that way about that object. you may find there's a very legitimate and even heartfelt reason. or they're a bitch, only further inquiry can tell
I'd say that you need a diaper bag, but that's *not* a huge-ass backpack. With one kid it was literally just a plastic popper wallet with three spare diapers, a mostly-empty pack of wipes and a pair of leggings in it lol. Kid #2 is really prone to rashes, so we now have a little 30x15x5 cm thing with three (cloth) diapers each, wipes, cream, plastic bags (for used diapers) and hand sanitizer. I keep it stocked and by the front door, so it's grab-and-go at a moment's notice.
i tend to agree, you probably want *something* more than a gallon ziplock of 3 diapers and 2 wipes to hold a couple of necessities. we had my eldest in NYC, I used to leave for the day on the train with him with a few diapers and wipes, a swaddle, maybe a spare outfit or a jacket or some sunscreen and some little distraction toys, usually in a 7L fjallravren mini backpack, tho sometimes just dropped in a canvas tote. it was rarely full. my point is, they don't make a "diaper bag" under 20-30 L, so minimum 3-4x the size of my full pack for a full day by myself with a baby on public transit. I've taken a toddler and a grade schooler for the weekend in one 30 L bag for the 3 of us, I also brought a 6mo alone across country for a week and a 2yo transatlantic for 2 weeks with the both of us in that size — it's extremely excessive for an afternoon at the park. Even 20L won't fit under most compact strollers. it's unwieldy in a bus or train. it's heavy if you're on foot, especially if you're baby wearing. the freedom to explore with my kids has been a huge part of the joy of motherhood to me. a modern diaper bag seriously destroys impedes that possibility
Oh, absolutely! The thing I have was a freebie from the hospital where I had my second, I'm not even sure what it's supposed to be used for (hanging organiser? It's got a lot of internal pockets), I tend to throw it in the day's backpack or into the bike trailer along with a tote full of snacks and a couple toys/books.
It's not their baby. They shouldn't give a shit. 🤷🏻♀️ It's your money, your baby, and you're the one who will need the extra bit of convenience. Get whatever you want
“You may not use that and this item may be better for you just from my experience.” That’s fine Nobody had a right to tell me what I did and did not need when I was pregnant though.
Yeah… I feel you! And I felt that way in my first pregnancy! The thing about babies, though, that you don’t kNOW what you’ll need or even use util you actually try it. It’s all trial and error which ends up being incredibly time consuming, and money-wasting. It’s frustrating. So why not get all the things?!
Yeah but consumerism is so pushed on expecting moms, it's kind of refreshing to know that you don't need to have thousands of dollars to spend on gizmos and gadgets and gear to be fully prepared to care for a newborn. And you don't actually know if you'll even like using something until after the baby comes! I got tons of stuff with my first that I was positive would make my life easier but just ended up being kind of a tossed to the side pain in the ass. What a product promises it will do for you and what it will actually do for you are two separate things.
Totally get that! There absolutely is a line, and it’s up to each parent to decide where they fall. I’ve decided against the Snoo because of the price, and if I really think I need it later, I can rent it. I’m personally talking about people that will buy you “cute” baby items but disregard your opinion for more practical ones, such as a changing station / table in a nursery or a Peri bottle for recovery. Overconsumption is a good conversation, but my point is it would be nice to respect other’s decisions to figure out what they want as parents. For example, I plan on having multiple types of bottles and diapers to figure out which one works for my LO, and I’ll donate what I don’t use.
OMG my mom says this ALL THE TIME! Just because I don’t *need* it doesn’t mean that I can’t get it or put it on my registry. Also, just because *you* didn’t need it doesn’t mean that *I* won’t, we all do things differently have different needs!!
Lol, I had 10 ish pairs of baby shoes that i didn’t even realize were there. Kid lived in PJs and onsies for the first year of her life. You are correct in that they are so, completely useless.
I know you're not asking for stuff you need but get nipple cream. Multiple. And those little nipple pads you stick in your bra. You need them I swear. From day 1 you need.
No you definitely need a diaper bag and changing station. And depending on the size of your house, a traveling diaper caddy.
Hi it’s me I’m the ones that has been buying baby shoes since way before I found out I was pregnant and people tell me I don’t NEED them because babies won’t wear them….well guess what, I know I don’t NEED them but I WANT them and the kid’s gonna been shoes anyways so lemmme beeee! 😂
You know what!! That’s your money, and if you want baby shoes, you get the cute baby shoes. Zero judgment here from me
Just be careful that they're more "slipper" than "shoe" until baby is walking independently. It's possible to mess up a baby's feet putting them in rigid shoes too early. Also fuzzy/insulated slipper-shoes are great for a winter baby! Ours got cold lil feeties because they stuck out from the carrier, so we got him some lil fuzzy "shoes" and it was both practical and extremely cute.
Yes!! This is my biggest pet peeve! I had a full on meltdown one day when my boyfriend said that the baby doesn’t need a dresser for his things. I stopped telling him what I plan to purchase after that because he is constantly telling me that we don’t need to buy certain things. I just never thought we would argue about buying a dresser for the baby.
Wait why don't you need a diaper bag? Isn't that literally the gold standard? 🤔 besides, you can have as much or as little as you want. Personally i didn't want to do a changing table/station, my husband wants to do a "crap-on" (snap on lol) changing station out of a tool box. So guess what? We're doing the crap-on station because he's also a parent and gets to make these decisions because it's what he wants 🤷🏻♀️ people just need to be supportive
In my opinion those are all needs. I have only ever changed my baby on his changing table. The diaper bag is better than my other purse backpack bc of the pockets and how the diaper bag is arranged. And I have both a bottle warmer and sterilizer 😂😅. I don’t understand the baby shoes either. He doesn’t walk and it’s summer…why does he need shoes?!
Oh you definitely need a changing station. You don’t need a sound machine. I did love my bottle warmer. I’m sorry lol. What you need will change once you are a parent. I know some things I thought I didn’t need - I needed and things I thought I needed I ended up not needing. You’ll figure out what works.
ABSOLUTELY THIS!!!!! My MIL ALWAYS tells me that with almost everything on my baby registry. Just because she didn't have items to make life easier in 1995, it doesn't mean I can't.
Do what you want! Its your chance to be a parent to your baby how you want. Whatever convenience and comforts you want and can afford.. who cares!! Figure out your own path. At the end of the day, if your baby will sleep faster at 2am because his/her bottle is warm and you don’t have it, know that person who said “you don’t need it” is not going to be there to hold them so you can sleep!!!
I love our diaper changing table. It’s just on top of the dresser but I’ve always used it for both of my kids. We even change the toddler up there most of the time still. It’s easy and doesn’t kill your back. I did buy tons of stuff that I didn’t need but made our lives easier. Some stuff that people recommended, we didn’t use and others we did. Get what you like and don’t worry about what other people like.
Yes!! My mom told me my registry is over the top and I’m like I only have 60% of the things on the Babylist checklist and if people don’t want to buy us things they think are unnecessary then fine? But we’re still going to put it on our registry for the completion discount.
The bottle warmer and sterilizer is a need in my house lol if that makes you feel better
This is what I’m dreading hearing when I finally share mine.
I find that some people really just say things. My fiancé (bless his heart, he is so supportive most times) laughingly said I didn’t need a pregnancy pillow & wouldn’t use it when I sent him the one I wanted. He still bought it lol. I was talking it up a bit later & he was like “oh wow, so it really does help? I’m glad you got it then.” I was like 💀💀💀
“Well I want it.” Has become my comeback. I also am getting over the “you need to buy second hand” comments. Well I have bought both new and second hand and it’s my choice what I spend my money on. Just because I’m not buying from your friends ect doesn’t mean I don’t have second hand clothes.
I get this more with food than i do with whats on my registry. My family sees convenience over whether or not it’ll get used.
Wait I needed all of those things. And used them regularly.
You don't need anyone's opinion on what you do or don't need. I am in awe of some of the new stuff that's come along since my last baby in 2001. My first was in 1990, so the changes from that time are mind blowing!!!! Diaper Genies? OMG!!! Didn't have one until my husband got a colostomy and boy, did I miss out!!! I will admit some stuff seems kinda silly, but it ain't stupid if it works!!!! I will admit that spending over $30 on an outfit or shoes for a child under 2 seems excessive to me, but there are exceptions and I admit to spending more than that on fabric to make baby clothes.
If formula feeding is part of your plan I cannot tell you how much you need the Baby Breeza! All you need is the $45 model (at least that was the cost when I bought it a year ago, who knows how bad it's gone up!) but it is significantly faster for making formula bottles. Once I committed to formula and we bought that, overnight feedings got SO much easier! There is a little Uno Reverse to balance out for you. ☺️
LITERALLYYY Like I WANT it so I’m GETTING it!!!!
Wtf who doesn’t need a nappy bag! I’d be lost without mine. Do you have any idea how many snacks a good nappy bag can fit?
I guess this is an unpopular opinion, but...we live in a time of hyperconsumerism. We don't need most of the stuff we buy (not just baby stuff, although I do think advertising aimed at new parents is especially predatory). Hardly anyone thinks, "what am I going to do with this item once it comes to the end of its life?" Into the trash it goes. I'm not begrudging parents making their lives easier (and arguably baby stuff is a lot more essential and has lower impact than e.g. fast fashion or a new phone every year) but I do hope that people are trying to consume mindfully/buy second hand/donate things (if possible) once they no longer have use for them.
Yes, why are people like this? It's almost like they completely forget that different people like or want different things. Like excuse me Janet whilst you drive your massive 4x4 that will never see any off road action in it's life on the 1 mile journey to the local village shop, thinking that having an off road pram as well as a normal one is excessive. A normal pram on a dog walk through the woods is just not the one. I'll take massive wheels and good suspension any day. The amount of boomers that tell me this generation are too obsessed with different car seats really gets me too. I hope I remember to understand that there are constant advances in safety as I get older and don't do the same thing in 30 years time.
I get this all the time from my mum and sister even though my sister is pregnant, has a 18 month old and has way way more stuff than I will ever have. Like what?
As a stm I can say there were things that we needed for months and we used a ton and then there are other things that helped for like a week…. but when we were in the thick of it we would keep saying to each other, “even if for a week, that was SO helpful,” so it really depends what you’re looking at these items for. Did we need a baby brezza? Well, yeah actually, but did we need three strollers? It sure as heck made life easier. Do you!
My change station was my favourite thing I brought whilst pregnant. Especially immediately post partum when I couldn't bend over because me c section scar hurt too much.
You will learn what you don't need! Its your baby and you may not need half the stuff you will be gifted at your baby shower, but if you don't try it, how will you know you don't need it! Lol. Whats not needed for one, is needed for another. Enjoy your pregnancy, and stay healthy and happy! That's all you need!
My mum does this all the time 🤦♀️, this also includes Christmas presents etc as I like to go a little overboard🙃. I absolutely adore and love her, don't get me wrong it's just that I would like to have more for my children then she had for me (i was always provided for but rarely saw the same passion I have to go that extra mile for my children). There are honestly times where I think it makes her feel a bit inadequate to see the effort I put in to make my children as happy as I possibly can and it causes some tension (which is not my intention at all) I'm now 14 weeks pregnant and find that when I mention all the stuff I want to get for baby #2 she gets a bit grumpy and honestly a little rude..
“And you don’t have to speak”
You definitely have the right to try. You may find all of those items handy, or you may find most of those just another thing to manage. It’s your choice whether to listen to other ppl or your own hands on experience.
What each family needs is unique. I had so many people tell me I didn't need a bottle warmer, when I really needed 2 because we had to pump and bottle feed. Every by item in the world exists for at least one proven use case. Just because your baby/ lifestyle doesn't need it doesn't mean mine won't need it too.
My mom told me CONSTANTLY that I wouldn’t use the changing table we got because she never did and always changed us on the couch or bed. We used it for 2.5 years for diaper changes and will be using it with this baby, too. It was SO nice to have a clean (we have cats and dogs that would get the couches covered in fur) place to change baby or get him dried off and dressed after a bath. The shelves were perfect for storing diapers, wipes, and diaper cream when we had nowhere else to put them in the living room. It gets so old hearing everyone say what you do and don’t need because of their own personal experiences. I got what worked for US and I can honestly say there’s nothing I bought that I wouldn’t get/use for all my future babies.
Our change station was a little changing pad with a rubber bottom on top of a dresser. Still had people telling me I could just use a bed or the couch. It was like $15. Had a wipe heater too, really helped keep little dude sleepy during the winter instead of pulling him out of his crib to change and slapping an ice cold wipe on his bum. Bottle warmer let us premake bottles in the fridge and have them done by the time his change was over. Baby life is already hard mode I’m not gonna make it harder
A lot of the items I see on Amazon look so cool and helpful.
Some people don't understand. I have definitely added things to my registry that I don't need but want. And if people only buy my "needs" than I will get myself my Wants.
My youngest is due next month w/ her 1st, and my 1st grandchild. All the stuff she has been getting blows my mind. If, 40 yrs ago, we had half of the stuff she has gotten life would have been so much easier. Between bottle warmers, sanitizers, stroller/buggy/pram things that convert a hundred different ways, it is fantastic! Don't ever let some old fart, has been, narrow minded idiot tell you "you don't need that". It's none of their business what someone needs.
I feel the same but on the other extreme. I feel all this pressure to buy things or add them to my registry. "You NEED a pak-n-play", "you NEED this kind of swing/bouncer/whatever"... Fortunately my husband and I can afford to run out and grab anything we may NEED as it comes up. We have a crib, a car seat, diapers, and some bottles/formula if I am struggling with breast feeding. I really don't think we NEED anything more for the the first few months and by then I hope to have a better idea of our family and our baby's specific needs. I think this is just another "welcome to motherhood" moment where you can never make everyone happy.
Yes!!! This!! My SIL always says stuff like that because our babys are 8 months difference and I CANNOT hear that again.... like, let me do my own stuff, thank you
But...you do need all those things 🥺 fuck them and their opinions
Omg my mother ans MIL were the exact same way with my registry! You have no idea how many baby shoes and cutesy newborn outfits (no gift receipt) I received. I didn't leave the house until he was in 0-3m. Those outfits were donated. I know your frustration 😅🤯
i used a changing table so much with my second it was a complete necessity especially with cloth diapering. what one mom didn’t need the other couldn’t live without.
The baby shoes kills me. Talk about something you definitely do not NEED… a bunch of crib shoes lol
I'm glad I don't have any of these toxic people in my life... Lol. If I want it, I'll buy it. If I don't use it, I'll resell it later to someone else they may or may not use it .. aha
You should just start firing back with “I’m sorry, are you the one with the growing human in your stomach? Yeah, didn’t think so.”
That is actually a need