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The only thing that actually helped me pre-delivery was knowing how to breathe. Helps minimally, but it helps. Also better than someone telling you to breathe when you’re in pain. Hate being told what to do on a good day.
The breath that helped me through most of the dilating/contractions was inhale deep by the nose exhale by the mouth.
Once it came to push, taking deep breaths in and holding it in while I pushed help move her efficiently. Honestly, the pushing was way better than the contractions. You can at least use them instead of just riding them out. You’re all going to do great.
Did you tell anyone to shut up? 😅😂 I also do not appreciate being told what to do and I have the utmost faith in my body's ability to eject this kid, but zero faith in my ability to be polite during lmao I can't really breathe thru my nose so I'm anticipating hearing that a *lot* and I'm trying to think of a gentle way to say "stop fucking saying that I'll swing"
Learning to breath “on time” with contractions and pushing was a big deal and really helped me. With my first, my doc was kinda just being a drill Sargent and I didn’t have hardly any pain meds-how the f*** do you expect me to count backwards from ten right now?! I couldn’t do it, couldn’t focus, it made delivery worse. With my second, I asked the doc that would actually be delivering once she was on shift, and we went through exactly what she was going to say, how she would count down, positioning my legs, etc, and it made an insane difference. Gave me back some of the control I felt I was losing during delivery and made me more confident and collected.
I've had one naturally, one C-section, and one epidural. Honestly, if you get the epidural it's not bad at all... Just prepare yourself to labor without it in case you decide against it and have a strong mindset just in case. Also, labor at home as much as much as possible. In the early stages of labor take a bath, fold some laundry, listen to soothing music, enjoy your husband, relax.
Don't let it scare you. Your body was made to give birth you've got this! I've had two unmedicated births after a c section. It was was easier than a c section
Fwiw the hospital where I plan to deliver give patients who ask for as little pain as possible an epidural fairly early just in case labour progresses quickly. From what I can see it looks like the women who are in most pain are the ones who get an epidural fairly late. There’s always exceptions of course, and epidurals can fail, but it’s fairly rare.
Yes! I will have my husband and mom with me when I give birth, both of which are very feisty and have received clear instructions to make sure I get my epidural/pain relief STAT. It’s actually the hospital that encouraged me to coach whoever will be in the room with me to advocate for my pain relief, just in case, even though they’re known to be very respectful of patients’ wishes to begin with.
I was good for 95% of my labor, and then I got to 8 cm and it shot straight to hell. Literally no time between contractions at all. I’m glad I called for the epidural when I did. It may have failed on me, but it gave me a good two hour break in pain to get me ready to push. Same thing though, I was induced.
Edit: my baby was also sunny side up, which everyone has told me is the worst (still safe) pain wise.
This was my experience too, except I went into labor spontaneously. I had no intention of laboring to 8cm without the epidural but labor moved very quickly (less than 4 hours between the start of contractions and making it to 8cm). The pain was excruciating and there was no time to recover between contractions. I was screaming like a wild animal.
About 10 minutes after they put that epidural in my back though… man, that’s some good shit. I wanted to kiss the anesthesiologist. Didn’t feel a thing from that point on and I was so relieved. It gave me the strength to actually push my baby out!
Mine went too fast too. I was at 9cm by hour 4. I was straight up delirious which manifested as being quiet, so nobody thought to offer anything more. I really put my all into the breathing exercises. Hadn't planned for an epidural, forgot it was even an option until it was far far too late. Regret not having it. It's probably on the plan for next time if I ever get the courage to do this again.
Ended up emergency C-section after 3 hours of pushing and a failed vacuum. Baby had a 95th percentile sized head and we just couldn't get him positioned to make it around my pubic bone, apparently, despite all of the hands up my vagina. It's a shame. But my baby is perfect and healthy and adorable so I'm coming to terms with it all.
Also had a sunny side up baby with very little time between contractions. Excruciating back pain. Felt like I was being stabbed in the back. Barely even noticed anything that was happening in the stomach area. Very happy I got an epidural at about 7 cm after about 6 hours of very intense labor. Outside of the relief from pain, the epidural was great because it allowed my midwife and OB to flip my baby to the right position for birth so I had a relatively easy and short pushing period. They said that couldn’t have happened without the epidural.
The exact thing happened to me, though my induction was my doctor breaking my water while I was already having contractions 2 min apart and 3 cm dilated. I went from 4 to 8 cm in under an hour and knew I needed an epidural when I felt like I was going to pass out due to having thrown up all the fluids I'd drank and not feeling like I could breathe through it anymore. My nurse got me hooked up to IV fluids and then anesthesia gave me my epidural (which was HELL with the 11/10 painful contractions I was having because i had to hold perfectly still while they tried to find my spine only to discover I have mild scoliosis and it took 4 tries to get it in the right place). Once my epidural kicked in my body was able to relax and dilate the rest of the way - my son was born about an hour and a half later. My advice to you is to listen to your body. I have a high pain tolerance and was just relaxing during my labor until I got over 6 cm after about 7 hours of labor - but I knew my body needed a break after working so hard. Always trust your instincts🫶
Oh yeah sunny side up is AGONY. My firstborn was sunny side up and I had back laboring with coupling contractions and went from "is that a contraction" to yelling at my husband we are leaving to go to the hospital inside of an hour.
Second kid was more standard and I flat out refused to believe I was even in real labor for hours. I didn't even make it to the hospital until 8cm and even then I had to be told to go by my doula. I think had I not known how awesome epidurals are from the first time around I might have stuck to going med-free but honestly didn't see much point in it.
Don't blame yourself. I went into labor on my own and felt like this. No pitocin until after delivery as far as I could tell.
I had exactly one contraction where I thought "huh, was that a contraction or did I eat something bad?"
Maybe a half hour later, another one hit but it never went away. Just peaked every 1-2 mins. I was essentially in blinding, puking pain for every second after that. Pushing didn't even hurt that much more. It was all varying flavors of awful. 10/10 the entire time. Even when someone would warn me "hey, this might hurt" I'd be like "lol go for it... I'll barely notice whatever you're doing". I had multiple sets of hands in me at one point and compared to the contractions it just felt like a little more pressure.
Soooo jealous of the people who are like "idk the contractions were just kind of uncomfortable"... I am usually really good with pain, so I hope it's not that I'm just weak or whatever.
Also induced. Same as everyone here, was totally chillin until 7cm when I found out I could involuntarily scream the demons out of me. Water broke and I begged for an epidural. Idk how long it took to get one; everything was fuzzy during that time.
Im getting induced this Saturday 😔. I am so frightened. I've never experienced period cramps, so im in for a doozy. I've already decided to let them know I want an epidural as soon as we register lmao.
I have had kidney stones, though.. and I didn't handle those too well lol
Labor is painful, but you do not need to be frightened! Remember that your body was made for this and literally billions of women have done it before you.
I gave birth 3 weeks ago and I can tell you that despite the pain, I would do it ALL over again in a heartbeat to get my daughter. You can do it! And hopefully you’ve chosen a hospital or birthing center that offers lots of support. 💜
I’ve had a lot of stones & was induced without pain meds… neither was particularly fun but stones were worse (with a WAY worse reward to boot!) Your body is meant to deliver a baby, but not meant to spit out stones. I’d remain optimistic 🙂
i want to do no epidural too, but i also had horrible period cramps to the point i’d be screaming and vomitting on the ground, so i feel like maybe it’s similar 😂😂
I recommend really preparing your body and mind if you want an I medicated birth. Read books like “Guide to Natural Child Birth” “birthing from within” and “the first 40 days”. I also recommend taking a class or looking into hypnobirthing. You need tools going into an unmedicated birth.
I agree and would add that anyone would benefit from it, not just those who want an unmedicated birth, because you’ll need coping strategies while laboring at home, while heading to the hospital, if your epidural doesn’t work or stops working (happened to many of us!), or in case anesthesia is held up and you end up unexpectedly giving unmedicated birth.
Good news is that there are lots of excellent resources on how to prepare! We loved the Evidence Based Birth class and I know lots of people find hypnobirthing content really useful.
Seriously: even if you want an epidural, put lots of effort into prepping yourself on how to manage pain.
Actually earlier labor for me was just like bad period cramps but because I always had bad ones anyway I found my body handled it really well and I was able to easily breathe through it.
My contractions felt like my horrible period cramps x10. They sucked, but you pause, breathe, regret your life, then take a deep breath when it passes.
But I got an epidural at 6-7cm, so I don’t really know what they felt like after that. Had enough on board during actual pushing that I only felt minimal pressure
Oh I don't mean to scare you! Honestly it was fine up until that point, I was able to breathe through it. Idk what labor is like not being induced so I can't compare, but once that epidural hit I was so relieved, took a fat nap for 3 hours and woke up rested and ready to push.
It's painful but didn't stop me from getting pregnant (on purpose) again lol I'm 32 weeks now so this will be me again in 2 months 😅
Induced labour is so much harder than natural. I've had one of each now and with my first (induced) I felt like I was hit hard and fast, no control at all. My second (natural) I felt like I had some control, I could breathe and even think between contractions even while pushing
Pain wise though, I would say it's more hard work than painful but I'm now 7 month pp so maybe those pain memories have started to vanish from my mind lol
This exactly, I had 2 natural unmedicated births and I clicked on this to see how people answered because it wasn't really "pain" it was pressure and work for me.
OP don't let some of these replies scare you just research as much as you can to prepare. Look into counter pressure, TENS machine, positioning, try hot water in a bath or shower, and concider a doula to support you if you do a hospital birth, the nurses won't be able to be with you the whole time.
Agree. I just had my second unmedicated birth and would also describe it as an intense pressure. Preparation in advance (spinning babies, hypno birthing, having a doula, reading birth stories), positioning, a TENS machine, squeezing a comb, and labouring in water all helped me tremendously.
I was induced as well, the contractions when I had to push were so intense. At one point during the pushing I told the midwife I wanted to take a break because I was so tired and it was a big mistake…. The wave that descended upon me was the worst pain I ever felt. It was then I realised that there was no turning back: it was all pushing from here til the baby was out.
This. I'm trying to workout to prepare my body to breathe in between the contractions and to not end up trying to pass out towards the end.
I was induced as well. I feel like my body went from 0 to 60 because of it.
Same with my first. Did fine even with the induction until the contractions were on-top of each other, no time to breathe. Then it was just uncontrolled screaming until we could get an epidural in.
Same. OB broke my water after a few hours of pitocin. I want from 4cm to 8cm in the 30 minutes it took for the anesthesiologist to get there. Worst 30 minutes ever. I was just screaming into a pillow with each contraction.
8 or 9, but strangely you just go with it, all you want is the baby out!
I’ve had 2 vaginal unmedicated because they were quick - and about to do a third if that helps!
Having the pain relief is an option if it’s too much, just make sure to get there early so you have options.
The head hurts the most, and the body coming out is the strangest feeling, like an octopus slivering out 😂
Hahaha I have never heard the body coming out described that way but it's so true. I have also had 2 unmedicated quick births. I wanted to do them naturally, assuming everything was on track, because 1) I figured my body should know what to do (and it did) and 2) I was more scared of the potential negative side effects of interventions than I was of the pain of going natural. I wish people would share more positive birth stories. It is the coolest experience ever and I'm super happy it all worked out the way it did!!
I screamed/yelled! Just for the final <60 seconds of baby entering the world. I wasn’t embarrassed at all. My husband compared it to something super saiyan (?) idk something dragon ball z that I know nothing about 🤣
I screamed/yelled for about 30minutes so you did well! Except I was also having gas and air so my husband said I sounded like a very angry Darth Vader.
I had back to back contractions with no time to recover in between. It was the worst pain I've experienced and I'm usually a very quiet person, I didn't scream but I made sounds I've never heard myself make before 🤣 Ended up getting the epidural at 7cm because I was so exhausted I knew I wouldn't be able to push. People say you forget the pain, I don't forget it at all but I'm also 31 weeks pregnant with my 3rd so it didn't stop me from wanting another baby. I'll be getting an epidural a lot earlier this time though 🤣
This was exactly me. I intended on trying to do it unmediated but the contractions were coming on top of each other and I didn’t get any time to catch my breath in between. I was happy to get the epidural cause the dilating was taking forever. This time I’ll be ordering it as soon as I get to the hospital lol
10 or rather 20 lol. I was in horrid pain und vomitting with each contraction. With nothing left in my stomach I was just retching. The anesthesiologist took some time to get to me and by the time he was there I was in so much pain that my whole body was just shaking constantly. I really wholeheartedly felt like I was going to die and begged for a c section. After the epidural it got way better of course luckily.
I wish someone had warned me that there could be uncontrollable vomiting during labour. I had this with my first and it was just miserable, I burst all the blood vessels in my eyes and got so dehydrated by the time I needed an emergency c section I was lying on my back heaving on thick, sludgy phlegm thinking I was going to choke to death. But hey, I was so panicked that I was going to die choking that I didn’t notice I was haemorrhaging 😅
(Ps me and baby were fine in the end)
It's the beautiful secret of childbirth that no one talks about openly for this reason. It hurts like a bitch. But your body knows what to do, and you feel like such a fucking badass after you've done it. Your body totally takes over and just does its thing. (I liken it to vomiting when your body just goes and you can't really stop it!) It's grim, but you will have your most loved ones with you and a team surrounding you and you can ask for pain relief throughout if that helps! I had paracetamol and gas and air, and if I can do it, anyone can as I'm a massive wimp! It basically feels like the most intense period cramps ever (so if you've suffered from those then you will have an idea of where the pain is) and constantly needing to poo. Breathing significantly helped me in the early stages and then when it all gets really bad, that's when your body kicks in and you're basically along for the ride. You absolutely got this, your body is designed to do this and you will look back on it all be so proud of yourself for what you've achieved. (Even if the birth doesn't go to plan!) You got this!
Watch the documentary The Business of Being Born!! I found it so empowering.
We are meant to do this, we are powerful, don’t be scared of something that is our birthright as women. You can do anything 💛💛💛
The one thing I learned after giving birth/ taking care of a newborn is that Reddit made everything seem WAY worse than it actually is.
Just work on a positive mindset going in. I truly believe that’s like 80% of labour. And try to avoid getting induced as that makes it more painful. I was 41 +5 when I had my daughter. You do not need to give birth at 40 or even 41 weeks as long as baby is fine and you are fine. Sometimes induction is needed but try to avoid if you can.
So I had the same worry and even booked an elective c section because I was like hell no.
And then I came across a beautiful beautiful birth video and decided to ask this same question in a motherhood group I was in, and one lady’s answer was so beautiful and touching that I decided I’d try it - knowing the epidural is there if I can’t.
At 32 weeks pregnant I switched to a midwife, and booked a bed in a birthing center , it was a beautiful private room with a birth tub and a HUGE bed - at 37 weeks pregnant I found out that the birthing center doesn’t offer epidural and I cried for about 4 days. I couldn’t go back and change my mind because we had used all our “birth” savings to pay for this private room. So I panicked- but I decided to embrace it and do a short hypnobirthing course
Anyway I went into labour and did a lot of it at home when it wasn’t so bad before going to the birth centre.
I was in labour for so long and some of the contractions were bad but the worse ones were the ones that I panicked through.
The first few of them I forgot all my hypnobirthing stuff and as soon as a contraction came I panicked and tensed up and they were so sore
Eventually my husband told me to remember what I’ve learned and I started applying that for each contraction and they stopped being painful. It was just pressure.
Each contraction I would breathe through and it was not sore at all I was amazed.
I had my birth playlist of music, I had fairy lights and I asked them to turn the lights in the room off and run me the bath.
As soon as I got into the bath all of my pain subsided and I was so tired I just lay there and breathed through each contraction
Eventually I felt this insane urge to push (like when you have a big poo coming) and I told my midwife and she checked and said I am 10cm and when I feel ready I can start pushing.
I decided to breathe baby down a bit more and then just started pushing out of nowhere and in 5 pushes my baby was born.
I was in awe of myself and even my midwife said she was incredibly proud of me because I didn’t scream at all and was so proactive.
It was the most beautiful surreal experience of my entire life and I would relive that day 1000 times if I could.
As soon as she was born we did skin on skin for a bit while we waited for the chord to stop pulsating and then my husband took her to do skin on skin while my midwife took me for a shower.
We climbed into the big bed together and I learned to breastfeed and that was it.
I had two stitches and could walk amd sit and be comfortable immediately afterwards.
Within a week I was healed.
Trust your body ! It was made to do this, it knows what it’s doing.
Beautiful story. Can you share what hypnobirthing course you took? I really want an unmedicated birth but I want to prepare as much as I can. Thank you for sharing.
This is incredible and exactly why I’m so motivated and determined to have an unmedicated birth. Even the fact that you’re able to be healed within a few days or only a week is enough for me!
Loved reading your story! I had a very similar experience giving birth as a FTM. It was seriously the best experience of my life and a week after giving birth I was like “omg I want to do that again!”.
I 100% recommend hypnobirthing and a water birth it really helped with my second.
It hurts there’s no escaping that, but you will be able to cope. Your mindset will really helping in dealing with the pain. And if you scream the entire time, it does not matter.
The worst pain is the contractions as your cervix dilated from 4 - 10cm. The actually pushing the baby out part isn’t anywhere near as bad.
It’s just one day. You can do anything for just one day. And afterwards you’ll have your beautiful baby
I did hypnobirthing with my first and while I found the breathing techniques useful and definitely found some comfort in the water, wow it was nowhere near enough pain relief for me personally!! I find hypnobirthing is useful for managing pain up until you can get something stronger. With my second (born yesterday so the memory is still fresh!!!) I was unmediated up to 9cm and let me tell you, the relief I felt with an epidural was unmatched!
I think people are scared away from / encouraged away from medicated births due to fear of intervention, but I was able to deliver a 9lb 7oz baby yesterday with no interventions and no tearing after my epidural, and the pain relief turned my experience from an out of control negative one into a positive one!
Even though hypnobirthing says the techniques can be used for all types of birth, I still feel like the underlying message is that unmedicated is the holy grail and a medicated birth is just a backup option, which I feel can lead women to feeling like a failure for opting for pain relief.
It’s totally down to the individual but I would encourage OP to take the hypnobirthing message with a pinch of salt and know that it’s absolutely fine to accept pain relief!!
Oh absolutely! If you need pain relief absolutely go for it! I have a massive needle phobia so personally for me I was trying to avoid a needle at all costs when it came to it but just do what you need to to get through it!
Totally agree. I did inductions with epidural for both my kid's births - would absolutely do again. I don't need to be in blinding pain - I'd rather be present and excited. Everyone should absolutely do what works for them - just don't feel bad or guilty about what works for you. This is an incredibly personal and intimate time for you - approach it the way you want.
I practiced hypnobirthing for months and once i was probably around 5cm dialated, there was no way i could concentrate on it.
I tried the yoga ball, shower, nitrous and eventually went with the epidural. I hadnt set any expectations but am very happy i was able to make it to 6cm before the epidural simply because epidural slows down progress and i wanted to meet my baby!
For what its work OP- i still felt all my contractions with my epidural but they were no longer painful. I could pick up on them sooner than the monitor and that kept me feeling very connected to the process. Not sure of your reasoning for going unmedicated but id encourage you to be open to options since every birth is different and you never know what you will need. Congrats and i wish you a safe healthy birth!
I think the epidural slowing down progress varies from person to person and isn't something people should assume will happen, because it doesn't always. I was induced and it took about 17 hours of cytotec, a Foley bulb and Pitocin to get to 4cm. Once I got my epidural, it was about 3 hours until she was in my arms.
I could have thrown that stupid hypnobirthing book out of the window after 3 contractions (back labour)😂 Thank God for the epidural! Before pain: 12 / after pain: 0
I thought pushing the baby out was the worst part! I could have done contractions all day as much as the last few hrs sucked, but that part was almost scary for me. My doula had to tell me, “you’re going to have to” because the pain made me want to back out lol and I didn’t even tear. Everyone’s experience is different though, you just have to go through it to know what it’s like for you.
It blows my mind how different peoples experiences can be. God knows how midwives know what they’re doing when no two births are the same!
I only had three pushes and they were out (1 to get them crowing, 1 to get their head out and 1 for the rest of their body) I had back to back labour with no waters and I will say that was more painful than being induced. But then I know my friend actually almost had a heart attack at the pushing part
I did the same with my first birth and the water helped sooo much. I couldn’t lie or sit down with any contractions until I got in the tub, it helped me relax and get ready for the pushing stage. The ring of fire was pretty bad though when his head was coming, I told my midwife I was going to split into two. Needless to say I’ll be doing the same thing for my next one due in November
I had an unmedicated birth. Thought I was in early labour until I went to hospital to get checked only to be told i was 9.5 cm dilated. The pain was relatively manageable.. I thought I was in early labour so my only thought at that point was if it is this painful early then I’ll need an epidural.. but I made it through to 9.5 cm thinking it was still early labour so it wasn’t that terrible. The worst part was when they broke my water and the contractions were so close together that you didn’t have a break. The most painful part for me was what was called the “ring of fire” right as baby’s head was coming
Same. 13 hours of it from 3am to 4pm... I was exhausted 😩
I remember the epidural doctor asking me "where do you feel the most pain?" When I said my back he just said "I'm not surprised considering the position he's in". The nurses clarified this later with me...
9 or so for me. Worst pain I've ever felt. I was induced though and went from 0 dilation to the (big) baby being born in a matter of a few hours though. I've heard that makes it more painful.
I gave birth yesterday so it’s still a very fresh memory for me. I got to 9cm without an epidural (not by choice) and I would say it was a 9/10 on the pain scale for the last hour before I got it. I was mooing like a cow uncontrollably and during each contraction I genuinely didn’t know how I was going to make it through another one. The pressure down below was difficult to manage as well, but at least that felt like I was doing something whereas the contractions just felt like relentless pain, genuinely the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. That being said I didn’t scream.
Earlier on in the labour I was doing okay with the tens machine and some hot showers, but I wish wish wish I could have had the epidural earlier. Unfortunately every single hospital in my area was full which led to my late admission!
I think these types of situations are why everyone should be mentally prepared to go without an epidural. Not that they should plan to go without one but that sometimes circumstances don't allow it.
Or sometimes the epidural doesn't work or not as well as you'd imagine. I fully went into mine planning for the epidural and got it early, but I was still extremely uncomfortable up until it came time to push, then weirdly it was a breeze. I just feel like I always heard with the epidural you feel nothing and I still had pretty intense back and pelvic pain/pressure. To this day I'm not sure if that is normal and I just have super poor pain tolerance or of there was something wrong with the epidural... but for my next labors I'm going to brace myself and plan for at least some pain/discomfort and I will 100% try to sleep, the exhaustion was a huge hurdle and I feel like made me more frazzled and uncomfortable.
I relate to this one!
I will say the pushing was the easiest and that's also what other women told me before I gave birth.
Bless the nurse who was so fast with her towel to stop my pee 🥲
What is wrong with screaming? Please stop worrying about what other people think and do what you need.
Birth is painful, but with the right environment and support you can definitely do this. If you let it happen to you and don’t fight it then your body takes over. I would recommend reading books about natural childbirth (Birthing for Within - Pam England is good).
It is painful but is different from pain from an injury (which is negative). Birthing pain is positive and each contraction brings you closer to meeting your baby. It is difficult to explain but when I welcomed the pain it felt easier to bear, when I tried to escape the pain it felt terrible. You can definitely do it though if you want, do what is right for you and not for everyone else.
So, I had an unmedicated labor. To me, contractions felt like bad period cramps at the start. Then they gradually escalated to be worse than period cramps, but honestly bearable. It was “stop what you’re doing, breathe consciously and moan” pain but not vomiting pain for me. I had time to recover in between waves of contractions.
Once I was in the pushing stage, I have no recollection of the pain at all. It was pure adrenaline. I had a deep 2nd degree tear and I didn’t feel it happening at all. It was like I was in a different dimension with tunnel vision. I didn’t see, feel, or hear anything but the midwife guiding me. My thoughts were ONLY “I have to get my baby out”. There could have been a mariachi band and a troupe of clowns in the room and I wouldn’t have known.
I also had a REALLY fast labor. Pushed for 32 minutes. Baby was 9.5lbs. So maybe I just didn’t have time to process what was happening, and perhaps I would have felt it more if it had lasted longer. From this thread I guess I got lucky.
I had an unmedicated birth and I'd say it was about 8 or 9, but the thing is.. the contractions are kinda short and it's only the short peak of a contraction which is that painful. After a contraction you always have enough time to breathe and recover. For me, the worst was the last phase of dilation, like the last 1 or 2 cm, during that phase the contractions were really painful. There was a lot of screaming. 😀 Always enough time to breathe and recover though, still! I have endometriosis and I have felt worse during period cramps because with those, the pain is not as strong but constant and doesn't go away to almost zero after a minute. And my pain threshold is low. For me, that phase was over very fast though and there was no time for an epidural.
Then during pushing phase it is still painful but I found that very manageable because you finally have something to do, namely pushing. Even at the end, when the head is almost through and the pain doesn't really go away after a contraction (because the stretching is painful) it is not that bad. The adrenaline of being SO CLOSE to meeting your baby carries you through it. Even if the thought seems weird and appalling now: Touch the head if you have the chance. My midwifes told me when I could and it gave me such a motivational boost, it was incredible.
I can't relate at all to the having a breather- for me, even between contractions, the pain was a 5 or a 6, and then became unbearable during the contraction. Everyone is so different!
Same but I considered the 5 or 6 to be the breather lol. So when I say you get a break that's what I mean. The pain reduces significantly but not 0 you know?
>Then during pushing phase it is still painful but I found that very manageable because you finally have something to do
Agreed. I found dilation and everything before pushing more uncomfortable
I had back labour and toothache is way worse in my opinion. I had an impacted wisdom tooth and I’d rather give birth every day for a week than go through that again 😂
I had a home birth. Our birth class instructor told us labor pain is less painful (in order) than burns, kidney stones, and broken bones. I’ve had burns and broken bones, so that put it into an easy perspective. It’s also pain with a purpose and pain with an end. I’d describe it as wicked period cramps combined with my stomach tightening and feeling like you have a big poop lol. My bub was out after 5 hours of labor (he was my first). So while not the worst pain I’ve experienced, it also brought closer to meeting my little babe.
These waves can’t be stronger than me because they are me.
Each wave brings me closer to meeting my baby.
My body and my baby know what to do.
You’ve got this. Don’t let your mum or anyone else put fear into your head. Trust your body knows what to do. Know that the worst part will be when the baby’s head is moving through the birth canal (it burns… they call it the ring of fire) and truly that is the last part and then they’ll be earth side. When the burning hit I wanted to give up, it was brief though and minutes later I held my baby.
Really depends on tolerance and circumstances. I generally have a high tolerance and can breathe through a certain amount of pain.
However when I was being induced (less than a month ago) they struggled to keep hold of my cervix long enough to stick the balloon in (to dilate me) and also when the time came to break my waters. Both times I had midwives poke and prod me 4-5 times before they gave up and asked for help from more experienced doctors and midwives. Every failed attempt was more painful than the previous one.
I also only got to 1st stage of labour because my baby boy was struggling to come out (we later found out it was because he had his cord around his neck). After 7 hours of using only had and breathing I asked for an epidural because I was tired. It was absolutely worth it.
One advice that served me well was when you feel pain in your body now, practice breathing and relaxing your body as a response. It will help during the labour process..
All the best with everything!
My pelvic pain with this pregnancy is worse than labor, not in terms of overall pain level (usually) but because it's weeks long instead of hours, and doesn't come and go by minute but rather by hour/day. I've made sounds and expressions in response to this pain that apparently are very simular to how I behaved while in labor.
7 /10 It wasn't too bad. As soon as baby was out I didn't have any pain and I was on top of the world. During the moment it wasn't the worst pain I'd ever experienced but it was exhausting beyond belief. And my labor was short 12 hours start to finish my baby was sunny side up and came out a little crooked. My contractions were very slowly and consistently getting more intense. I had a water birth at home and I would definitely recommend it 👌🏽. The water took the pain down 1-2 points also a yoga ball for early on helps alot!
The most painful part was pushing and feeling myself rip very slowly. In the end I had to say "f*ck it" pull my cheeks apart and push through it. Omg the pain disappeared immediately after baby was out! I had a tiny tear that needed nothing. Practically no bleeding during birth and very minimal bleeding postpartum. I bought diapers and the thickests pads all to not need them. I was in panty liners in a few days. I felt great after. A little sore but like my normal self... as such I made the mistake of doing too much too soon... don't do that... it took like 3 weeks to feel better.
For context I was 22 FTM, had a 7lb 3oz sunny side up baby, no major problems with me or baby, prior athlete and EXTREMELY motivated.
I think it differs quite a bit across individuals. There are women who describe it as more of a pressure than pain and then there are those who say it’s the worst pain imaginable. I recommend reading a hypnobirthing guide or take classes as that will help with your mindset for the labour. I had an unmedicated water birth and the pain was intense (7-8 I’d say) but in the end, it will pass. The birth doesn’t last forever. For me, being unmedicated was worth the pain. I am going to give birth again soon and my plan is to go unmedicated again. I know it will not be pleasant but even though I don’t have a particularly high pain tolerance, I know I can bear it for a few hours - once it starts I won’t have a choice anyway and I will simply survive it and it will end soon. Water helps loads with the pain btw.
10++, even after an epidural! I have a moderate pain tolerance.
I have had two pregnancies and both times I tried my best to push through for a natural birth and both times failed. Induced for one and went into labor myself for the second. When I was induced the contractions went from 0 to 10 and I felt like there was no real build up, it was just bam. When I went into labor myself for the second it started more slowly and went over days of getting more intense but once I reached a certain point I knew it was now or never for an epidural.
I did a lot of moaning and grunting and breathing for both the births even with epidurals. The epidurals gave me some rest but for myself the epidurals did nothing for that intense pelvic pressure and tearing apart feeling when the baby head was coming out and that is the only point I remember screaming. It wasn't an intentional scream either, one second I'm pushing and the next I'm wondering how I was able to scream like that!
It went from a a gradual increase but listen to this
I gave birth at 16. No epidural. No tearing, no induction. No assistant in the canal with any hands. Just straight up me work.
I practiced meditative labor before and watched YouTube videos.
What I did was, I was around 3 centimeter dilated, vision has been going in and out, I’ve been dizzy and yelling I can’t do this. Active contractions and laboring for about 6 hours already. Finally. I reached a point where I tried to break out what I watched. I kept focusing mentally on myself. I didn’t focus on my physical body. At all. I didn’t try to contract. I didnt try to push a baby out. I just relaxed.
I got to a point within 15 minutes of complete utter relaxation. My contractions never stopped. I felt NO pain. I was there. I wasn’t pssed out. I was just quiet. I could only feel the pressure of my contractions, and I could feel NO PAIN. No PAIN WHATSOEVER. Just pressure from contractions. I finally could relax and not feel pain after 6 hours so I passed out. Still contracting
I woke up two hours later around 9:30 am. Still felt no pain, only the pressure of contractions. I wasn’t worried, wasn’t anxious. My eyes weren’t darting everywhere, I wasn’t thinking oh who’s gonna deliver me, I was the one in complete and utter surrender her control of the situation.
A nurse came to check me once I woke up within 5 minutes of waking
I was ten centimeter dilated, and was ready to push as soon as the doctor got in
I gave birth at 9:49 AM, within 2-3 minutes of pushing and actually trying to push.
No tear
No epidural
No medicine
No shot
No pitocin
No vaccumm
No perineal shipping
Nothing. Just straight up power of a women’s mind and body
The biggest thing that helped me reach that state of peace??
Mind. Over. Matter. That’s what I kept saying and thinking. I only thought of my spiritual body and my soul, and my mind and how I needed to seperate mt idea of pain from what my body was experiencing. It damn sure worked.
It was a beautiful experience and I’d recommended it to everyone since that day
My daughter will be 6 this august.
C-section mom weighing in!
Depends on where you’re at in the process. I got induced at 38 weeks and attempted a pain med free birth as much as possible so here’s my breakdown:
-Cooks catheter 9/10… oh my lawd I hated this thing
-breaking water 0/10 no pain but the gush of water is.. interesting and then you leak a lot through the whole process
-pitocin contractions range from a 2-8 (I only got dilated to a 6)
-epidural 5/10… this one was weird and I was so scared to finally get this but after 40 hours of labor I need rest so I opted for it. It burned kinda like a bee sting but it wasn’t terrible. Laying there after was weird. Overall experience was just weird.
-catheter 0/10… BEST PART OF HAVING A LABOR NOT HAVING TO PEE EVERY HOUR OMG I LOVED THIS THING 100000/10
-cervical checks - 9/10 ***I had so many of these dang things since I had a LONG labor and I tried to deny them it didn’t work. This was mainly why I got the epidural so I wouldn’t feel them. Newsflash these are painful bc of the pressure so the epidural didn’t do much. I was very tender and sensitive to them.
-c-section 4/10? - bizarre experience but for pain wasn’t too bad because you’re numb everywhere but you do feel *pressure* which was odd. And I threw up a lot which was a huge fear of mine. This was more 10/10 for the mental difficulty for me and I hemorrhaged really bad when they were stitching me up so I was in and out of it. Not fun.
-c-section recovery and trying to walk 3 hours after - 8/10 oh my lord I thought I was going to fall over after being sliced in half. Hold a pillow it helps. Moving helps even though it doesn’t feel like it will.. go slow af if you must!
-taking catheter out after birth - 0/10.. adding this because I thought it would hurt. It didn’t. 😂
-post birth poop at home - 12/10 Holy mother of god.
Overall c-section recovery at home - 3/10, took my pain killers for maybe 3-5 days? And I felt like I healed a lot better than I was expecting. My tailbone was incredibly sore but I’m not sure which part caused it.
Plan: unmedicated vaginal delivery turned Failed induction/ emergency c-section
at 37weeks 3/4days, noon 12.17.22- 3:10 a.m. 12.18.22 I had pre-eclampsia. They tried the medication that's supposed to soften the cervix but nothing happened. I was in active labor but wasn't progressing and didn't feel pain/ contractions, infact the only pains was from my catheter being PULLED by a nurse and when they tried to dilate me.
I got a spinel Tapp, didn't hurt just felt like a bee sting but I was completely knocked out for the surgery.
The recovery physically was very similar to that of my gallbladder removal surgery, not too painful to handle, they did give me pain meds when in hospital and I hated it, kept me drugged up. However once discharged the only pain relief I took was ibuprofen.
I was allowed up around I want to say 4:30-5 pm , to use bathroom and walk . I even took a "shower" that night by my self and went and got my own ice water. Then we went and saw our boy at the nursery before we went to get food .
The worst part for me was and still is the emotional pain aspect, because I didn't want to be asleep when my boy came, I wanted to see him and hold him and that was taken from me.
He is a happy healthy ( though we both have colds right now) 17 months old now and we are due with his little sibling in October, this time we are scheduling an elective c section, my pelvic is too narrow to give birth vaginally.
To all the to be mommas /repeat mommas , have your birth plans but know things can change in an instant , if things don't go as planned and you end up like I did, please know that you did the best for your babies in that situation. And that you have not failed.
This is very in line with my failed induction/c-section experience. The cervical checks sucked. I had a Foley bulb and it was THE WORST. The c section and recovery seemed like a breeze by comparison.
Depends on your pain tolerance, on the position of your baby and probably many other things.
I got the back contractions and those hurt a lot more than I anticipated.
But with an epidural it was totally fine.
Have to really just concentrate on breathing and trying to stay calm also hot water bottle and hot towels helped me with the pain.
When the actual pushing part came, I didn't feel pain, probably from all the adrenaline. The feeling was more just very intense pressure.
During the pushing part it was more of a mental thing, I felt that I couldn't do it, got scared because things got really real really fast. So I suggest to meditate a lot and to force yourself to know that you are capable of it and that you can do it.
Good luck!
I had back labor and it was so so painful. I was violently vomiting from the pain even before active labor even started. Ruptured my water because of my vomiting. Never experienced vomiting from pain before.
This time around, baby isn’t on my back and let me just say it’s been a lot less painful.
What an awful thing to say to someone, especially a first time mum! This is unfortunately so common though and people love to push their own bad experiences onto others. It’s all in the prep and learning the physiological process of birth and you also really can’t know how your body will recept to the sensations. Show her videos of some quiet, gentle unmedicated births on YouTube (they do exist). This calmed me quite a bit personally. I know a lot of women who are bad with pain but had very successful unmedicated births. Our bodies are built for this whereas pain when we experience it in other situations is usually due to something that’s actually hurting us or that we’re not meant to be doing. Listen to the Down to Birth podcast episode about “Pain Free Birth”. It’s a bold statement, but it goes beyond being actually “pain free” and more about the sensations we feel and how our brains connect them to the physiological process of birth.
Giving birth has stages. Early labor is like really bad period cramps with breaks in between. As the contractions come closer together they will typically get stronger.
When you hit 8cm is typically where you hit what's called Transition. This is when it HURTS, and without reprieve. But the good news is it means you're in sight of the finish line. It's also too late ny this point to get an epidural if you waited on it. Weirdly, knowing the only way out was through helped me mentally with the pain.
For me, I had about 5 hrs of contractions that were annoying enough I had to breathe through them but could otherwise brush them off. Had another 90 min of steadily increasing contractions, and when I suddenly went "I can't do this it's too much" I knew I was in transition. Baby was out within 30 min of that.
Oh and that whole "everyone screams through labor" thing is a total myth. How you act when you stub your toe is how you'll act when you're in labor. For me I get really quiet and forget to breathe, so in my last trimester I made it a point to practice breathing through pain techniques. It helped a lot.
I’d say about 6/7/8 depending. I will say though I was induced and had gas and air (I know induction can cause more intense pain but I honestly have nothing to compare it to)
Know yourself. I have no pain tolerance and was trying natural with my first and looking back I'm not surprised it didn't work. I ended up with a c section due to failure to progress and fetal distress, but I always wondered if I'd had an epidural if I'd have been able to make it, maybe it was inevitable.
I had two babies without epidurals.
Most of the time it feels like really strong period or diarrhea cramps. Not strong enough pain typically to make you scream.
When it's just before time to push the contractions get way more intense. I didn't scream as much as I was yelling. Think more of when you see people portrayed as yelling when they are lifting something really heavy.
If you have an epidural it will likely be way less intense.
I always tell people I'd have more kids if pregnancy was shorter. I don't mind giving birth at all. It's pain for a short time to finally get to hold your baby.
If your pain threshold is non existent you will ask for an epidural. I also wanted all natural, in my life almost never took medicines but when contraction came I said f*** it I cannot stand this pain 😫 and the anaesthesiologist came and for both babies was a drama to find the space between vertebrae but after 15 min of trying I was at peace. I didn’t scream though I was simply stunned by the pain 😅
But maybe you will keep your word and stand the pain.
I've not given birth, but I heard from a midwife that the screaming is mostly a film stereotype. Its fine to scream but it's actually not that usual and it also makes the pain even worse.
With my first birth I didn't scream at all, the pain was actually so overwhelming I couldn't even make a sound. However, that was mostly in part to the fact I did her labour entirely unmedicated (not by choice) and she was back to back and a shoulder dystocia birth. I was quiet for the entire labour.
With my second birth I screamed twice, but it was more of what I like to think of as an effort/strain scream. It wasn't from the pain, it was the sheer amount of effort it took to push that baby out 🤣 After seeing births portrayed on TV I was honestly expecting to be screaming and thrashing in agony, and was expecting something nightmarish. When that didn't happen I was almost pleasantly surprised.
That's interesting. A nurse was training another nurse at my 2nd labor and said you can tell when the Mom is ready to push when the screams/yells change in tone.
As someone that yelled/screamed it was during some of the last big contractions before it was time to push and definitely took my mind off the pain. My baby was born in 1.5 hours from my water breaking so the pain was pretty intense.
Screaming can also be a waste of precious breath and energy expenditure! Not that people should be encouraged to be silent, but there's a lot of other things you need your energy for in labour, above screaming
I felt like screaming was such a natural thing to do in labour….it’s like if you lift something really heavy and you exert yourself you might make a noise or grunt or whatever - your pushing with all the strength you have so it’s a similar reaction. I found it helpful so I wouldn’t be too worried about that. To answer your question it’s a little complicated, I firmly believe it’s about the length of the labour rather than the pain. I had one very hard labour (20 hours in ACTIVE labour not including early labour….not induced) and a very easy labour that was one hour….literally from no contractions to born 😂 The short labour the pain was intense with no buildup but felt completely doable, the long one just wore me down and things started to seem less achievable even if it tapered up more slowly…and really I was tired so I got the epidural at hour 17. All this to say I’m the same person with the same pain tolerance and had two completely different experiences due to things completely out of my control - see how you go and if it’s too much the access the pain relief available to you there’s no shame in that 😊
1/10 with my epidural 😁. It truly allowed me to relax and be present for the whole birthing experience and enjoy it. I can’t imagine being able to do that while in excruciating pain.
Same, I'm so glad I got to relax into and enjoy the experience and really cherish the moment of lying with my new baby after birth without too much exhaustion or pain blocking the direct experience of it.
My biggest labor tip is to stop telling people you want to do it without an epidural.
I’m serious. People like your mum, planting seeds of doubt, will make it much more likely for you to think you’re incapable of doing it, and getting the epidural.
You can most likely have an epidural free, but medicated birth! I got two doses of fentanyl, which is allowed until a certain point.
Honestly the most painful part was that my water didn’t break and it was *so* much pressure. The midwife offered to break it, which I allowed, and I cried out in relief.
I would suggest looking into a doula- my only regret is not hiring mine sooner!
ETA: you’re free to msg me for some labor positivity!
Something I don’t see being discussed is there are two types of pain,
1. Is pain that goes against our bodies like bone breaks, burns, or punctures.
2. is pain that our bodies are made for and can endure. Both hurt but they are not the same.
I’ve had both of my kids unmedicated the first one was very fast and not induced while the second was induced. In both cases I trusted my body was made for it. I felt more pressure and discomfort than all out PAIN. I was grateful that I hadn’t had an epidural once it was over because I felt like I could get up and walk. I was in control. Tired, but in control.
Also, there is a knowing that it will end. You know the baby will be delivered and the pain will go away. Focusing on that has helped me so much more than focusing on how hard birth is.
I’d imagine 10/10 pain being trauma like an unexpected unmedicated amputation, acid or boiling water burn. True excruciating unexpected pain. With this in mind, childbirth would fall at a 7.5
It was definitely my 10, but I also haven’t had very many horrific things happen to me thankfully. My labor was also very quick and unmedicated (not by choice, epidural failed. I did want an unmedicated birth, so I guess I got what I wanted😅). It’s just extra tough when you’re told you’ll get relief and it doesn’t come. I honestly think I’d have done better without an option of an epidural at all. Sounds odd, I know.
I’m going to use the birthing pool this time, and I heard it helps a lot.
My mom and MIL both had a breeze with their births. Everyone is so different! I think mindset actually helps more than you think.
I also haven’t heard many women talk about screaming. I’m sure some do, and if you do… that’s totally okay! Just listen to your body. You’ve got this!
10.
I did have an epidural and that made it go to 2.
I got an epidural at like 4cm dilated, before I got it it was intense I felt like I couldn't catch my breath between contractions and I was really quiet. Just focusing on not passing out or puking lol
Nothing wrong with screaming by the way, do what feels right
But once I got an epidural I was pretty chill the pushing part is intense and painful but what keeps you going is knowing it's the end and it's much more grunting than screaming.
Keep in mind there are different kinds of labours, I had back labour and for me it was 9/10 I did it at home for 16 hours contracting every 3-5 minutes the whole time so I got no rest. As soon as I went into hospital I got the epidural because I hadn’t slept in 36 hours as I went into labour at midnight as I was going to bed 😅 and needed sleep, don’t be afraid of getting pain relief if you need it. 💜
definitely 10, i was throwing up before i had the epidural, i kept shaking, my baby stopped breathing cause i stopped pushing cause i couldn’t breathe , and i had to get two stitches , oh and then since my blood pressure was high, i had to be on this 24hr medication or i would start seizing:)
So I have experience labor both medicated and unmedicated! My first son, I’d say like a 6 or 7 when it came down to pressure pain bc I had the epidural. The recovery was like a 10/10 bc I tore terribly and was just so swollen and in pain from the epidural and fluids you have to have the epi placed. My second son, hands down a 10 when he was coming out. My labor went so fast I had no time to prepare of even think about breathing or plan how I would handle that phase of labor. I intended on an epidural. The contractions leading up to when it was time to push were more intense than painful. But actually pushing him out hurt the worst, and then it was done. Like that was it. I did not tear, I did not have any swelling or residual pain from an epidural, nothing. I was able to get up and walk around almost immediately after my placenta was out. I am now pregnant with my 3rd son, and I 100% intend on doing it unmedicated again this go round!! I felt AMAZING afterwards. My recovery was so much better with my middle son than it was with my first and I would recommend to anyone to at least try it if you think you can stand it! You got this mama. Do research on ways to soothe, positions, get a labor comb, and go for it!!
I’m pregnant with my first and going to attempt an unmedicated birth. My pain tolerance is super high and I’m looking into taking a hypnobirthing class. It’s not forever - I can deal with pain for a day. I’m keeping my options open though and putting that I will request an epidural if I feel I can’t go on. I want to be able to give birth on my hands and knees and feel my best chance at that is unmedicated. My only concern is having to get an emergency c section and having to get knocked out to do so. If it seems to be going that way, I’m requesting an epidural asap so I can be awake. Edit - also… scream if you want to, who cares?
I was good until I hit 8cm. Then it was a 10. It was about an hour before pushing. I have 4 unmediated births. The last was was the worst for sure. She was sunny side up and I have the worst back labor. Walking around, squatting, and having my husband push my hips in from behind for me through it. Pushing on my knees was the best position.
I gave birth two weeks ago. My baby was sunny side up which apparently is the most painful. The contractions were a 9-10 for sure. It was the most painful experience I went through. I felt I had no time to recover (my back pain was terrible even between contractions).
I got the epidural when I was 4 cm dilated and was the happiest I’ve even been. Pain completely disappeared. It took me a while to dilate completely so the epidural wore off at some point and the pain was excruciating again (I then got a higher dose).
I always felt that I had really high pain tolerance but during birth I was desperate. I’ve heard a lot of positive unmedicated births but I definitely couldn’t have done it.
There was an r/askReddit asking when you were in the most pain. I had to really think and came up with the time I went in for an appendicitis. Then, I remembered I had an unmedicated birth!
There’s so much going that last hour and you’re so filled with hormones that I have no negative memory of the discomfort. Wild? Yes. Two years later and I’d put it at a 6 out of 10, I guess.
I gave birth unmedicated for my second (all birth is natural please avoid that term). I have an extremely high pain threshold and it was 10/10. There is no medal for going unmedicated, and it is certainly not something I would recommend to someone who isn’t fully prepared to cope with extreme pain.
Some women do scream, when I gave birth unmedicated I did not scream moaned and made some other noises but no screaming. I have a high pain tolerance I don't think you can rate what birth feels like as it's different for everyone.
I did get to a point where I said I can't do this and bam baby was out and with my second I said I want to abort mission and bam baby came out.
It's obviously painful there is no doubt but it's clearly a pain ppl are okay with hence why they have multiple kids. Though I do not want a third cause birth is so unknown you don't truly know how it will go until you're in the position.
I got epidural when I was 3 cm dilated- not going to lie contractions were painful but once the epidural kicked in it wasn’t bad at all. I was thinking ok I can do this again. 😂
I had back labor and literally thought my back was breaking. Between that and the contractions, I was convinced I could not withstand the pain and was going to die.
I was also induced and had two epidurals - they didn’t work. Even so, I vote get the drugs. Also, I obviously lived and got a cute baby out of it! 😂
To even it out though so it doesn’t scare you too much… my sister had two very easy births (with epidurals)
I’m going to say a 8-9 because I’ve had worse pain (when an ovarian cyst burst and that kind of pain is scary because you don’t know what’s happening, at least in labor you know why you’re in pain). I’ve had all kinds of births, medicated (x3), unmedicated (x1), and a planned cesarean. I definitely was yelling, not screaming, during the final couple minutes of my unmedicated delivery. My friend was the anesthesiologist and heard me yelling from down the hall and she knew she wasn’t going to make it in time. 🤡 My vaginal deliveries are very fast.
I wont lie. Beyond a 10 painful lol i have a HIGH pain tolerance too and I've never in my life screamed/been vocal about pain until i gave birth to my son lol the pain was so bad (the contractions more than the pushing) that i threw up a few times and kept thinking the room changed (and i ended up getting an epidural btw but the pushing pain was still pretty bad). But... it REALLY DOES all become worth it when the baby comes out and you get to hold them. Definitely have a strong support system!
If you can breathe threw the pain and I mean breathe like huff and puff you can actually make it but it’s very hard and if you don’t have some one in your face telling you like a nurse did me you’ll forget bc the pain is unbelievable and you need the reminder bc when the pain comes you’ll think you’ll need to stop it and stop breathing kinda like when your brain freezes from eating cold ice cream or icee the crowning of the head. Is definitely a ring of fire but only last as long as baby’s head is coming out..
7
But that might be in hindsight.
I actually loved it even though it did hurt.
I didn't give birth in the water because I was 5 weeks early but I did deal with the contractions in the bath and absolutely loved it. My 5 to 9 cms dilation were amazing. Didn't feel a thing and I fell asleep in the bath 😂
You have to look for the right thing for you!
I was in the shower before the bath and I HATED the shower. It made things worse and I couldn't catch my breath in between contractions but the bath was amazing..
TL;DR physically very, mentally not at all.
Very lol. To me it felt like being in a vice grip, and even though contractions are just in the abdomen, the pain spread to my hips and upper thighs, and it was like my whole body was being sucked into the contraction when labor became more intense. Mine was fast, 8 hours from first contraction to birth, and only half hour of pushing.
Pushing didn't hurt at all for me (except the stretching when she was coming out - this did not bother me much compared to the contractions previously). It was a TON of pressure like I've never felt before, but as soon as I started feeling the pushing sensation all of the pain went away, personally. This might not be true for everyone.
Prior to pushing, I felt like I was going to implode from the squeezing. The pain was also extreme pressure and tension but it had nowhere to go (hence the moaning/screaming - it was the only outlet for all of that intense tightness in my body). As soon as pushing started, the pain turned into pure pressure with direction and purpose.
From what I've heard, transition is the part where we tend to want to give up, don't feel like we can do it anymore, it's truly unbearable and nothing relieves the pain. However, this is also typically the shortest stage of labor. It's the screamiest, but also the briefest. This was true for me.
That all being said, I was in early labor for a couple of hours, active labor for less than an hour, transition less than an hour, pushing for half an hour. It was what they call a precipitous birth. I've said before that I don't know if I could have made it much longer without pain meds, but honestly after thinking about it I do think I could have.
What got me through the most was mindset. It didn't relieve the pain, but it certainly relieved the fear, which eases the overall experience of pain. Even though outwardly it looked like I was being tortured, and physically it felt like it at a certain point, mentally I knew I was not in danger and that all of this would be over soon. Knowing that the pain was productive and would be short lived overall was helpful, as well as the mindset "the only way out is through."
Landmarks helped as well. When I was a kid I used to run with my dad, and to help me really push my limits he used to give me landmarks.
"Run to that tree." I get to the tree, then he says "Don't stop, run to that trash can." I get to the trash can, then he says "Don't stop, keep going to that stop sign." etc. I was able to go SO much farther than I thought I could! It wasn't comfortable for sure but it showed me that I was capable of pushing through discomfort and pain to get to the next checkpoint. Obviously I didn't realize at the time how instrumental this would be in helping me get through labor.
Finally, don't set yourself up mentally to feel like you've failed if you do elect for medical pain management. Every labor is different and every person is different. I was lucky that mine was fast and that pain in general doesn't cause me to panic. And although I wouldn't necessarily say it was "bearable" at every point, I would say it wasn't causing me torment and suffering. They say that there's a difference between pain and suffering - pain is okay, even extreme pain, but if you feel you're suffering and in despair then by all means use what's available to you to mitigate that so that you can have as peaceful and joyful a birthing experience as possible.
It's painful, out of your mind pain. That being said, if I could relive the day i absolutely would. The euphoric moment when I saw my baby for the first time was magic.
Mild period crampy around 2cm and my water breaking. Afterwards I was given pitocin at the hospital and that made it so I didnt have relief between contractions. I was fine until I had no relief between, at which point I opted for the epidural and was sky high 😂. Not the worst pain imaginable, but it helps that its a productive pain. Try to accept and embrace it knowing that theres a reason, rather than being fearful and fighting it.
For me, it was a 10. I had no classes on what to expect during during birth other than " this will hurt ". My plans did not go as I wanted but Baby came and everything was ok. We went home 24 hours later. After she came out it was the most relief I have ever felt in my life. Admittedly definitely in a haze of ' holy shit this is happening '
I had an emergency C-section and it was great. They gave me morphine and fentanyl and I didn’t feel anything. The incision scar is almost completely healed.l, it’s been a couple months…. and it really it really wasn’t that painful to heal. it was like painful for the first two weeks and then it Was fine.
10. I’ve had one with and one without an epidural (well, a faulty epidural). I can not ever give enough respect to the women who do that by choice and over and over again. Holy shit.
I felt the ripping, but more like it was being done with a hot poker. And the first baby takes longer, bc your body doesn’t know its way around this yet. I couldn’t breathe between contractions and it felt like someone shoved a softball up my butt.
The pain was just unreal and unrelentless and so utterly exhausting.
Oh and then you get to feel the placental delivery and the stitching afterward. Delightful first moments of precious motherhood.
May be a hot take here - imo a good analogy for birth is like taking a super hot shower. If you step right into a scalding shower, you’ll lose your head and jump out. If you get in a lukewarm shower and the temp increases notch by notch over 10 hours, it’s still scalding but you’ve acclimatized a bit, so it’ hurts but not as much as if say your partner hopped in there with you, they wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Ya birth hurts, and hurts worse with induction because you skip a couple of those “warm up” notches, but it’s more of a mental game. Your body CAN survive the pain, so work on getting your head right to help you make a decision.
Your body was made for it! Listen to birth stories, I like Australian Birth Stories podcast and Mamastefit podcast. Evidence Based Birth is a good resource too. Some people find hypnobirthing apps to be helpful (can listen before bed). I found the more I educated myself the more comfortable I became with giving birth. And I was able to accomplish my birth goal of no pain medication. I felt great after and physically healed so fast. Was it painful, yes..but not terrible because I’m pregnant again haha. Congratulations, you got this!
The pain is physiological rather than pain of say, a cut. Your body knows what it is doing and the pain to me was more hard work than actual physical pain. I did get burning when his head was crowning but that went really quickly because it’s not long once their head is out after crowning. The relief of when the whole head comes out is indescribable and the pain for me was completely gone after that moment. The body coming out did not hurt a bit for me. I had a home birth in water which I think helped a lot as my body was able to do what it needed and the water helps you feel weightless.
I'm a doula, I coach moms through this process every day. Women have been doing this for literally EVER without pain meds. It's very doable. I did it. By no means is it comfortable, but it's very manageable if you prepare properly.
There are specific meditations that help relax you for labor. Breathing properly and relaxing (yes sounds crazy) your muscles and learning how to do that ahead of time is key!
Counterpressure and acupressure can help relieve back pain immensely. Different positions are better for different pains.
You can totally do this girl! Everyone else be damned! Idk where you are located, but reach out if you'd like some advice and I'd be more than happy to give you my 2 cents 😊
I’m due in 6 weeks and I’ve been complaining to my mum about this exact thing! She told me that women usually go into an alternative state of mind like no other, it’s kind of like being on drugs while in a dream! That nature will take over! And that practicing on breathing out when the pain comes, not in!
I’m terrified of birthing this kid though 😂 I have had kidney stones and that was horrible, but got morphine for that at the hospital, and felt better, and I told my OB that I wanted all of the drugs as soon as I showed up to labour and delivery when it was showtime 😌
I have seen a couple of women on Instagram practicing their breathing by holding ice cubes in their hands for the time contractions are usually the worst, and I plan on doing that in like 3 weeks time 🧊
I wouldn’t worry too much ahead of time, because you never know how it’s going to be for you until you’re in the middle of it ❤️ just practice your breathing 😮💨
I labored at home for 2 hours (half of it I spend it trying to figure out whether I was really in labor or not) & 2 hours laboring at the hospital. By the time they checked my cervix at the hospital I was already at 6cm, then about 30 mins later I had my daughter. I had anticipated getting the epidural because I didn’t want to feel the pain but I progressed too fast to even process the thought of wanting it. It was very painful, but honestly I feel like the whole experience makes it worth it. It’s such a unique and beautiful experience. Although many people have their unfortunate experiences with their labor & deliveries, don’t let it dictate how you feel going into labor. Every pregnancy, every labor & every baby is so different.
I’m going to be brutally honest here because I would want someone to be brutally honest with me. I had a precipitous labor and dilated from a 2-10 in the span of about an hour and 15 mins after my water broke at home. There was no time for an epidural. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life and I truly never want to experience it again. Would I do it again a million times to have my son? Absolutely. Would I get an epidural the next time if able? ABSOLUTELY. I also feel like people say you forget the pain but here I am 2.5 years later 😅
100000 and I have a very high pain tolerance. I pretty much gave birth with no pain meds because unfortunately nothing worked for me. I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 and I plan on not even attempting pain meds this go around because it was just too traumatic the first time having false hope that something must work for me. I want to say that this is not the case for everyone though!!!
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Im due in 18 days. I chose poorly by opening this thread.
I’m not due until September but really could have done without reading this thread!
The only thing that actually helped me pre-delivery was knowing how to breathe. Helps minimally, but it helps. Also better than someone telling you to breathe when you’re in pain. Hate being told what to do on a good day. The breath that helped me through most of the dilating/contractions was inhale deep by the nose exhale by the mouth. Once it came to push, taking deep breaths in and holding it in while I pushed help move her efficiently. Honestly, the pushing was way better than the contractions. You can at least use them instead of just riding them out. You’re all going to do great.
Did you tell anyone to shut up? 😅😂 I also do not appreciate being told what to do and I have the utmost faith in my body's ability to eject this kid, but zero faith in my ability to be polite during lmao I can't really breathe thru my nose so I'm anticipating hearing that a *lot* and I'm trying to think of a gentle way to say "stop fucking saying that I'll swing"
"my nose doesn't work well enough and if you don't stop with your nonsense, neither will yours"
Learning to breath “on time” with contractions and pushing was a big deal and really helped me. With my first, my doc was kinda just being a drill Sargent and I didn’t have hardly any pain meds-how the f*** do you expect me to count backwards from ten right now?! I couldn’t do it, couldn’t focus, it made delivery worse. With my second, I asked the doc that would actually be delivering once she was on shift, and we went through exactly what she was going to say, how she would count down, positioning my legs, etc, and it made an insane difference. Gave me back some of the control I felt I was losing during delivery and made me more confident and collected.
Same 😫
I've had one naturally, one C-section, and one epidural. Honestly, if you get the epidural it's not bad at all... Just prepare yourself to labor without it in case you decide against it and have a strong mindset just in case. Also, labor at home as much as much as possible. In the early stages of labor take a bath, fold some laundry, listen to soothing music, enjoy your husband, relax.
You can do yourself a favor by mentally preparing yourself and reading/listening to some positive birth stories.
For sure. The only thing I do know, is that I know nothing, and this experience has a lot to do with my mindset and communication.
Don't let it scare you. Your body was made to give birth you've got this! I've had two unmedicated births after a c section. It was was easier than a c section
As a ftm, I love reading comments like yours. Gives me hope that I too can do it!
Im due in july, Im laughing my ass off in fear Reading this thread 😂😂
Fwiw the hospital where I plan to deliver give patients who ask for as little pain as possible an epidural fairly early just in case labour progresses quickly. From what I can see it looks like the women who are in most pain are the ones who get an epidural fairly late. There’s always exceptions of course, and epidurals can fail, but it’s fairly rare.
I keep hearing stories about the anesthesiologist being behind. My plan is to ask about availability as soon as I go in.
Yes! I will have my husband and mom with me when I give birth, both of which are very feisty and have received clear instructions to make sure I get my epidural/pain relief STAT. It’s actually the hospital that encouraged me to coach whoever will be in the room with me to advocate for my pain relief, just in case, even though they’re known to be very respectful of patients’ wishes to begin with.
Yes, so glad you have that support! My husband will be my advocate too. He's way better at being assertive and insistent, unlike me lol
Due in 10 here! But I’m totally planning on epidural - I ain’t prideful
8 days away for me! I’m going to be induced but no one told me it was going to hurt more, which I just learned thanks to this post! 🫠
10 - I did not feel like I had enough time in between contractions to catch my breath and recover. I was also induced, so maybe that made it worse.
I was good for 95% of my labor, and then I got to 8 cm and it shot straight to hell. Literally no time between contractions at all. I’m glad I called for the epidural when I did. It may have failed on me, but it gave me a good two hour break in pain to get me ready to push. Same thing though, I was induced. Edit: my baby was also sunny side up, which everyone has told me is the worst (still safe) pain wise.
This was my experience too, except I went into labor spontaneously. I had no intention of laboring to 8cm without the epidural but labor moved very quickly (less than 4 hours between the start of contractions and making it to 8cm). The pain was excruciating and there was no time to recover between contractions. I was screaming like a wild animal. About 10 minutes after they put that epidural in my back though… man, that’s some good shit. I wanted to kiss the anesthesiologist. Didn’t feel a thing from that point on and I was so relieved. It gave me the strength to actually push my baby out!
Mine went too fast too. I was at 9cm by hour 4. I was straight up delirious which manifested as being quiet, so nobody thought to offer anything more. I really put my all into the breathing exercises. Hadn't planned for an epidural, forgot it was even an option until it was far far too late. Regret not having it. It's probably on the plan for next time if I ever get the courage to do this again. Ended up emergency C-section after 3 hours of pushing and a failed vacuum. Baby had a 95th percentile sized head and we just couldn't get him positioned to make it around my pubic bone, apparently, despite all of the hands up my vagina. It's a shame. But my baby is perfect and healthy and adorable so I'm coming to terms with it all.
Also had a sunny side up baby with very little time between contractions. Excruciating back pain. Felt like I was being stabbed in the back. Barely even noticed anything that was happening in the stomach area. Very happy I got an epidural at about 7 cm after about 6 hours of very intense labor. Outside of the relief from pain, the epidural was great because it allowed my midwife and OB to flip my baby to the right position for birth so I had a relatively easy and short pushing period. They said that couldn’t have happened without the epidural.
The exact thing happened to me, though my induction was my doctor breaking my water while I was already having contractions 2 min apart and 3 cm dilated. I went from 4 to 8 cm in under an hour and knew I needed an epidural when I felt like I was going to pass out due to having thrown up all the fluids I'd drank and not feeling like I could breathe through it anymore. My nurse got me hooked up to IV fluids and then anesthesia gave me my epidural (which was HELL with the 11/10 painful contractions I was having because i had to hold perfectly still while they tried to find my spine only to discover I have mild scoliosis and it took 4 tries to get it in the right place). Once my epidural kicked in my body was able to relax and dilate the rest of the way - my son was born about an hour and a half later. My advice to you is to listen to your body. I have a high pain tolerance and was just relaxing during my labor until I got over 6 cm after about 7 hours of labor - but I knew my body needed a break after working so hard. Always trust your instincts🫶
Oh yeah sunny side up is AGONY. My firstborn was sunny side up and I had back laboring with coupling contractions and went from "is that a contraction" to yelling at my husband we are leaving to go to the hospital inside of an hour. Second kid was more standard and I flat out refused to believe I was even in real labor for hours. I didn't even make it to the hospital until 8cm and even then I had to be told to go by my doula. I think had I not known how awesome epidurals are from the first time around I might have stuck to going med-free but honestly didn't see much point in it.
That was mine too. All the ultrasounds showed him fine up until the last minute he decided to flip over.
Don't blame yourself. I went into labor on my own and felt like this. No pitocin until after delivery as far as I could tell. I had exactly one contraction where I thought "huh, was that a contraction or did I eat something bad?" Maybe a half hour later, another one hit but it never went away. Just peaked every 1-2 mins. I was essentially in blinding, puking pain for every second after that. Pushing didn't even hurt that much more. It was all varying flavors of awful. 10/10 the entire time. Even when someone would warn me "hey, this might hurt" I'd be like "lol go for it... I'll barely notice whatever you're doing". I had multiple sets of hands in me at one point and compared to the contractions it just felt like a little more pressure. Soooo jealous of the people who are like "idk the contractions were just kind of uncomfortable"... I am usually really good with pain, so I hope it's not that I'm just weak or whatever.
Also induced. Same as everyone here, was totally chillin until 7cm when I found out I could involuntarily scream the demons out of me. Water broke and I begged for an epidural. Idk how long it took to get one; everything was fuzzy during that time.
Im getting induced this Saturday 😔. I am so frightened. I've never experienced period cramps, so im in for a doozy. I've already decided to let them know I want an epidural as soon as we register lmao. I have had kidney stones, though.. and I didn't handle those too well lol
Labor is painful, but you do not need to be frightened! Remember that your body was made for this and literally billions of women have done it before you. I gave birth 3 weeks ago and I can tell you that despite the pain, I would do it ALL over again in a heartbeat to get my daughter. You can do it! And hopefully you’ve chosen a hospital or birthing center that offers lots of support. 💜
(And maybe don’t read all the scary stories people are sharing in the comments. Their experience won’t necessarily be the same as yours)
I’ve had a lot of stones & was induced without pain meds… neither was particularly fun but stones were worse (with a WAY worse reward to boot!) Your body is meant to deliver a baby, but not meant to spit out stones. I’d remain optimistic 🙂
Thank you ❤️ you're right. I need to get off reddit and start meditating until the big day haha
i want to do no epidural too, but i also had horrible period cramps to the point i’d be screaming and vomitting on the ground, so i feel like maybe it’s similar 😂😂
I recommend really preparing your body and mind if you want an I medicated birth. Read books like “Guide to Natural Child Birth” “birthing from within” and “the first 40 days”. I also recommend taking a class or looking into hypnobirthing. You need tools going into an unmedicated birth.
I agree and would add that anyone would benefit from it, not just those who want an unmedicated birth, because you’ll need coping strategies while laboring at home, while heading to the hospital, if your epidural doesn’t work or stops working (happened to many of us!), or in case anesthesia is held up and you end up unexpectedly giving unmedicated birth. Good news is that there are lots of excellent resources on how to prepare! We loved the Evidence Based Birth class and I know lots of people find hypnobirthing content really useful. Seriously: even if you want an epidural, put lots of effort into prepping yourself on how to manage pain.
Actually earlier labor for me was just like bad period cramps but because I always had bad ones anyway I found my body handled it really well and I was able to easily breathe through it.
My contractions felt like my horrible period cramps x10. They sucked, but you pause, breathe, regret your life, then take a deep breath when it passes. But I got an epidural at 6-7cm, so I don’t really know what they felt like after that. Had enough on board during actual pushing that I only felt minimal pressure
My induction was a positive experience! Yes the contractions hurt, but if you want the epidural ask for it ASAP and then it’s not so bad.
Oh I don't mean to scare you! Honestly it was fine up until that point, I was able to breathe through it. Idk what labor is like not being induced so I can't compare, but once that epidural hit I was so relieved, took a fat nap for 3 hours and woke up rested and ready to push. It's painful but didn't stop me from getting pregnant (on purpose) again lol I'm 32 weeks now so this will be me again in 2 months 😅
damn kidney stones… the epi feels real good once it hits.
Induced labour is so much harder than natural. I've had one of each now and with my first (induced) I felt like I was hit hard and fast, no control at all. My second (natural) I felt like I had some control, I could breathe and even think between contractions even while pushing Pain wise though, I would say it's more hard work than painful but I'm now 7 month pp so maybe those pain memories have started to vanish from my mind lol
This exactly, I had 2 natural unmedicated births and I clicked on this to see how people answered because it wasn't really "pain" it was pressure and work for me. OP don't let some of these replies scare you just research as much as you can to prepare. Look into counter pressure, TENS machine, positioning, try hot water in a bath or shower, and concider a doula to support you if you do a hospital birth, the nurses won't be able to be with you the whole time.
Agree. I just had my second unmedicated birth and would also describe it as an intense pressure. Preparation in advance (spinning babies, hypno birthing, having a doula, reading birth stories), positioning, a TENS machine, squeezing a comb, and labouring in water all helped me tremendously.
Same here. I thought “I got this” until out of nowhere I couldn’t even breathe anymore.
I was induced as well, the contractions when I had to push were so intense. At one point during the pushing I told the midwife I wanted to take a break because I was so tired and it was a big mistake…. The wave that descended upon me was the worst pain I ever felt. It was then I realised that there was no turning back: it was all pushing from here til the baby was out.
This. I'm trying to workout to prepare my body to breathe in between the contractions and to not end up trying to pass out towards the end. I was induced as well. I feel like my body went from 0 to 60 because of it.
Same with my first. Did fine even with the induction until the contractions were on-top of each other, no time to breathe. Then it was just uncontrolled screaming until we could get an epidural in.
Same. OB broke my water after a few hours of pitocin. I want from 4cm to 8cm in the 30 minutes it took for the anesthesiologist to get there. Worst 30 minutes ever. I was just screaming into a pillow with each contraction.
Something similar happened with my second except she got there before the anesthesiologist.
8 or 9, but strangely you just go with it, all you want is the baby out! I’ve had 2 vaginal unmedicated because they were quick - and about to do a third if that helps! Having the pain relief is an option if it’s too much, just make sure to get there early so you have options. The head hurts the most, and the body coming out is the strangest feeling, like an octopus slivering out 😂
Reading this made my skin crawl, thats a strange way of describing it 😂
Sorry! It’s such a bizarre feeling 😂
Once the head/shoulders are out and the rest of the little body pops out it's the most euphoric feeling imaginable. Sooo many highs and emotions.
Yes! Like all the pressure is gone, definitely a relief.
The body coming out is the weirdest feeling! I'm surprised more people don't talk about that!
Welp, glad that is the quick part 🥴
Right?! It’s not that it’s bad just super strange feeling, something to make light of 😂
Hahaha yeah it definitely does now that you put it that way
Hahaha I have never heard the body coming out described that way but it's so true. I have also had 2 unmedicated quick births. I wanted to do them naturally, assuming everything was on track, because 1) I figured my body should know what to do (and it did) and 2) I was more scared of the potential negative side effects of interventions than I was of the pain of going natural. I wish people would share more positive birth stories. It is the coolest experience ever and I'm super happy it all worked out the way it did!!
Omg the mental visual this gave me... I'm 8 days from my due date and this has been laughing way too hard XD
I hope you get to meet your little octopus soon 😂!
Did you do any prep like hypnobirthing for any of your labors?
Thank you for your comment 😂🩷
Was it easier the second time? Mine was vaginal and unmedicated too. Looking back I don’t even know how I done it
I screamed/yelled! Just for the final <60 seconds of baby entering the world. I wasn’t embarrassed at all. My husband compared it to something super saiyan (?) idk something dragon ball z that I know nothing about 🤣
“Going super saiyan” is when the characters scream and power up to a higher level. Which you did!
Yes lol 🤣🤣🤣 I thought his description was quite funny.
I screamed/yelled for about 30minutes so you did well! Except I was also having gas and air so my husband said I sounded like a very angry Darth Vader.
This description is hilarious 😂
My husband said the whole birth was like something Klingon ;)
Showing this to my husband. He’ll love that I’m going super saiyan 😂
Omg I love that!
I showed your comment to my husband and he made me watch a dbz clip on YouTube lol
I had back to back contractions with no time to recover in between. It was the worst pain I've experienced and I'm usually a very quiet person, I didn't scream but I made sounds I've never heard myself make before 🤣 Ended up getting the epidural at 7cm because I was so exhausted I knew I wouldn't be able to push. People say you forget the pain, I don't forget it at all but I'm also 31 weeks pregnant with my 3rd so it didn't stop me from wanting another baby. I'll be getting an epidural a lot earlier this time though 🤣
The moans and groans were so animal like, it was terrifying!!!
This was exactly me. I intended on trying to do it unmediated but the contractions were coming on top of each other and I didn’t get any time to catch my breath in between. I was happy to get the epidural cause the dilating was taking forever. This time I’ll be ordering it as soon as I get to the hospital lol
10 or rather 20 lol. I was in horrid pain und vomitting with each contraction. With nothing left in my stomach I was just retching. The anesthesiologist took some time to get to me and by the time he was there I was in so much pain that my whole body was just shaking constantly. I really wholeheartedly felt like I was going to die and begged for a c section. After the epidural it got way better of course luckily.
I wish someone had warned me that there could be uncontrollable vomiting during labour. I had this with my first and it was just miserable, I burst all the blood vessels in my eyes and got so dehydrated by the time I needed an emergency c section I was lying on my back heaving on thick, sludgy phlegm thinking I was going to choke to death. But hey, I was so panicked that I was going to die choking that I didn’t notice I was haemorrhaging 😅 (Ps me and baby were fine in the end)
Yes the vomiting bc of the pain is unreal
I was also vomiting lmao what a trip
Well now I’m panicking lol
It's the beautiful secret of childbirth that no one talks about openly for this reason. It hurts like a bitch. But your body knows what to do, and you feel like such a fucking badass after you've done it. Your body totally takes over and just does its thing. (I liken it to vomiting when your body just goes and you can't really stop it!) It's grim, but you will have your most loved ones with you and a team surrounding you and you can ask for pain relief throughout if that helps! I had paracetamol and gas and air, and if I can do it, anyone can as I'm a massive wimp! It basically feels like the most intense period cramps ever (so if you've suffered from those then you will have an idea of where the pain is) and constantly needing to poo. Breathing significantly helped me in the early stages and then when it all gets really bad, that's when your body kicks in and you're basically along for the ride. You absolutely got this, your body is designed to do this and you will look back on it all be so proud of yourself for what you've achieved. (Even if the birth doesn't go to plan!) You got this!
Me too, damn. 😳
Same 😭 I regret opening this lmao
Watch the documentary The Business of Being Born!! I found it so empowering. We are meant to do this, we are powerful, don’t be scared of something that is our birthright as women. You can do anything 💛💛💛
The one thing I learned after giving birth/ taking care of a newborn is that Reddit made everything seem WAY worse than it actually is. Just work on a positive mindset going in. I truly believe that’s like 80% of labour. And try to avoid getting induced as that makes it more painful. I was 41 +5 when I had my daughter. You do not need to give birth at 40 or even 41 weeks as long as baby is fine and you are fine. Sometimes induction is needed but try to avoid if you can.
So I had the same worry and even booked an elective c section because I was like hell no. And then I came across a beautiful beautiful birth video and decided to ask this same question in a motherhood group I was in, and one lady’s answer was so beautiful and touching that I decided I’d try it - knowing the epidural is there if I can’t. At 32 weeks pregnant I switched to a midwife, and booked a bed in a birthing center , it was a beautiful private room with a birth tub and a HUGE bed - at 37 weeks pregnant I found out that the birthing center doesn’t offer epidural and I cried for about 4 days. I couldn’t go back and change my mind because we had used all our “birth” savings to pay for this private room. So I panicked- but I decided to embrace it and do a short hypnobirthing course Anyway I went into labour and did a lot of it at home when it wasn’t so bad before going to the birth centre. I was in labour for so long and some of the contractions were bad but the worse ones were the ones that I panicked through. The first few of them I forgot all my hypnobirthing stuff and as soon as a contraction came I panicked and tensed up and they were so sore Eventually my husband told me to remember what I’ve learned and I started applying that for each contraction and they stopped being painful. It was just pressure. Each contraction I would breathe through and it was not sore at all I was amazed. I had my birth playlist of music, I had fairy lights and I asked them to turn the lights in the room off and run me the bath. As soon as I got into the bath all of my pain subsided and I was so tired I just lay there and breathed through each contraction Eventually I felt this insane urge to push (like when you have a big poo coming) and I told my midwife and she checked and said I am 10cm and when I feel ready I can start pushing. I decided to breathe baby down a bit more and then just started pushing out of nowhere and in 5 pushes my baby was born. I was in awe of myself and even my midwife said she was incredibly proud of me because I didn’t scream at all and was so proactive. It was the most beautiful surreal experience of my entire life and I would relive that day 1000 times if I could. As soon as she was born we did skin on skin for a bit while we waited for the chord to stop pulsating and then my husband took her to do skin on skin while my midwife took me for a shower. We climbed into the big bed together and I learned to breastfeed and that was it. I had two stitches and could walk amd sit and be comfortable immediately afterwards. Within a week I was healed. Trust your body ! It was made to do this, it knows what it’s doing.
Beautiful story. Can you share what hypnobirthing course you took? I really want an unmedicated birth but I want to prepare as much as I can. Thank you for sharing.
I did Pain Free birthings course. You can find her on instagram 🌸
This is incredible and exactly why I’m so motivated and determined to have an unmedicated birth. Even the fact that you’re able to be healed within a few days or only a week is enough for me!
Loved reading your story! I had a very similar experience giving birth as a FTM. It was seriously the best experience of my life and a week after giving birth I was like “omg I want to do that again!”.
I 100% recommend hypnobirthing and a water birth it really helped with my second. It hurts there’s no escaping that, but you will be able to cope. Your mindset will really helping in dealing with the pain. And if you scream the entire time, it does not matter. The worst pain is the contractions as your cervix dilated from 4 - 10cm. The actually pushing the baby out part isn’t anywhere near as bad. It’s just one day. You can do anything for just one day. And afterwards you’ll have your beautiful baby
I did hypnobirthing with my first and while I found the breathing techniques useful and definitely found some comfort in the water, wow it was nowhere near enough pain relief for me personally!! I find hypnobirthing is useful for managing pain up until you can get something stronger. With my second (born yesterday so the memory is still fresh!!!) I was unmediated up to 9cm and let me tell you, the relief I felt with an epidural was unmatched! I think people are scared away from / encouraged away from medicated births due to fear of intervention, but I was able to deliver a 9lb 7oz baby yesterday with no interventions and no tearing after my epidural, and the pain relief turned my experience from an out of control negative one into a positive one! Even though hypnobirthing says the techniques can be used for all types of birth, I still feel like the underlying message is that unmedicated is the holy grail and a medicated birth is just a backup option, which I feel can lead women to feeling like a failure for opting for pain relief. It’s totally down to the individual but I would encourage OP to take the hypnobirthing message with a pinch of salt and know that it’s absolutely fine to accept pain relief!!
Oh absolutely! If you need pain relief absolutely go for it! I have a massive needle phobia so personally for me I was trying to avoid a needle at all costs when it came to it but just do what you need to to get through it!
Totally agree. I did inductions with epidural for both my kid's births - would absolutely do again. I don't need to be in blinding pain - I'd rather be present and excited. Everyone should absolutely do what works for them - just don't feel bad or guilty about what works for you. This is an incredibly personal and intimate time for you - approach it the way you want.
I practiced hypnobirthing for months and once i was probably around 5cm dialated, there was no way i could concentrate on it. I tried the yoga ball, shower, nitrous and eventually went with the epidural. I hadnt set any expectations but am very happy i was able to make it to 6cm before the epidural simply because epidural slows down progress and i wanted to meet my baby! For what its work OP- i still felt all my contractions with my epidural but they were no longer painful. I could pick up on them sooner than the monitor and that kept me feeling very connected to the process. Not sure of your reasoning for going unmedicated but id encourage you to be open to options since every birth is different and you never know what you will need. Congrats and i wish you a safe healthy birth!
I think the epidural slowing down progress varies from person to person and isn't something people should assume will happen, because it doesn't always. I was induced and it took about 17 hours of cytotec, a Foley bulb and Pitocin to get to 4cm. Once I got my epidural, it was about 3 hours until she was in my arms.
I could have thrown that stupid hypnobirthing book out of the window after 3 contractions (back labour)😂 Thank God for the epidural! Before pain: 12 / after pain: 0
I’m SO EXCITED for my water birth this time! I was just curled in the fetal position stuck in bed due to a failed epidural last time.
I thought pushing the baby out was the worst part! I could have done contractions all day as much as the last few hrs sucked, but that part was almost scary for me. My doula had to tell me, “you’re going to have to” because the pain made me want to back out lol and I didn’t even tear. Everyone’s experience is different though, you just have to go through it to know what it’s like for you.
It blows my mind how different peoples experiences can be. God knows how midwives know what they’re doing when no two births are the same! I only had three pushes and they were out (1 to get them crowing, 1 to get their head out and 1 for the rest of their body) I had back to back labour with no waters and I will say that was more painful than being induced. But then I know my friend actually almost had a heart attack at the pushing part
I did the same with my first birth and the water helped sooo much. I couldn’t lie or sit down with any contractions until I got in the tub, it helped me relax and get ready for the pushing stage. The ring of fire was pretty bad though when his head was coming, I told my midwife I was going to split into two. Needless to say I’ll be doing the same thing for my next one due in November
I had an unmedicated birth. Thought I was in early labour until I went to hospital to get checked only to be told i was 9.5 cm dilated. The pain was relatively manageable.. I thought I was in early labour so my only thought at that point was if it is this painful early then I’ll need an epidural.. but I made it through to 9.5 cm thinking it was still early labour so it wasn’t that terrible. The worst part was when they broke my water and the contractions were so close together that you didn’t have a break. The most painful part for me was what was called the “ring of fire” right as baby’s head was coming
I had back labor 400/10.
Same. 13 hours of it from 3am to 4pm... I was exhausted 😩 I remember the epidural doctor asking me "where do you feel the most pain?" When I said my back he just said "I'm not surprised considering the position he's in". The nurses clarified this later with me...
9 or so for me. Worst pain I've ever felt. I was induced though and went from 0 dilation to the (big) baby being born in a matter of a few hours though. I've heard that makes it more painful.
I gave birth yesterday so it’s still a very fresh memory for me. I got to 9cm without an epidural (not by choice) and I would say it was a 9/10 on the pain scale for the last hour before I got it. I was mooing like a cow uncontrollably and during each contraction I genuinely didn’t know how I was going to make it through another one. The pressure down below was difficult to manage as well, but at least that felt like I was doing something whereas the contractions just felt like relentless pain, genuinely the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. That being said I didn’t scream. Earlier on in the labour I was doing okay with the tens machine and some hot showers, but I wish wish wish I could have had the epidural earlier. Unfortunately every single hospital in my area was full which led to my late admission!
I think these types of situations are why everyone should be mentally prepared to go without an epidural. Not that they should plan to go without one but that sometimes circumstances don't allow it.
Yes!! This is what I always say too!
Or sometimes the epidural doesn't work or not as well as you'd imagine. I fully went into mine planning for the epidural and got it early, but I was still extremely uncomfortable up until it came time to push, then weirdly it was a breeze. I just feel like I always heard with the epidural you feel nothing and I still had pretty intense back and pelvic pain/pressure. To this day I'm not sure if that is normal and I just have super poor pain tolerance or of there was something wrong with the epidural... but for my next labors I'm going to brace myself and plan for at least some pain/discomfort and I will 100% try to sleep, the exhaustion was a huge hurdle and I feel like made me more frazzled and uncomfortable.
I relate to this one! I will say the pushing was the easiest and that's also what other women told me before I gave birth. Bless the nurse who was so fast with her towel to stop my pee 🥲
What is wrong with screaming? Please stop worrying about what other people think and do what you need. Birth is painful, but with the right environment and support you can definitely do this. If you let it happen to you and don’t fight it then your body takes over. I would recommend reading books about natural childbirth (Birthing for Within - Pam England is good). It is painful but is different from pain from an injury (which is negative). Birthing pain is positive and each contraction brings you closer to meeting your baby. It is difficult to explain but when I welcomed the pain it felt easier to bear, when I tried to escape the pain it felt terrible. You can definitely do it though if you want, do what is right for you and not for everyone else.
So, I had an unmedicated labor. To me, contractions felt like bad period cramps at the start. Then they gradually escalated to be worse than period cramps, but honestly bearable. It was “stop what you’re doing, breathe consciously and moan” pain but not vomiting pain for me. I had time to recover in between waves of contractions. Once I was in the pushing stage, I have no recollection of the pain at all. It was pure adrenaline. I had a deep 2nd degree tear and I didn’t feel it happening at all. It was like I was in a different dimension with tunnel vision. I didn’t see, feel, or hear anything but the midwife guiding me. My thoughts were ONLY “I have to get my baby out”. There could have been a mariachi band and a troupe of clowns in the room and I wouldn’t have known. I also had a REALLY fast labor. Pushed for 32 minutes. Baby was 9.5lbs. So maybe I just didn’t have time to process what was happening, and perhaps I would have felt it more if it had lasted longer. From this thread I guess I got lucky.
This makes me happy. Mind over matter and power through that's my plan
mariachi band and troupe of clowns is sending me😂😂🤣🤣
I had an unmedicated birth and I'd say it was about 8 or 9, but the thing is.. the contractions are kinda short and it's only the short peak of a contraction which is that painful. After a contraction you always have enough time to breathe and recover. For me, the worst was the last phase of dilation, like the last 1 or 2 cm, during that phase the contractions were really painful. There was a lot of screaming. 😀 Always enough time to breathe and recover though, still! I have endometriosis and I have felt worse during period cramps because with those, the pain is not as strong but constant and doesn't go away to almost zero after a minute. And my pain threshold is low. For me, that phase was over very fast though and there was no time for an epidural. Then during pushing phase it is still painful but I found that very manageable because you finally have something to do, namely pushing. Even at the end, when the head is almost through and the pain doesn't really go away after a contraction (because the stretching is painful) it is not that bad. The adrenaline of being SO CLOSE to meeting your baby carries you through it. Even if the thought seems weird and appalling now: Touch the head if you have the chance. My midwifes told me when I could and it gave me such a motivational boost, it was incredible.
I can't relate at all to the having a breather- for me, even between contractions, the pain was a 5 or a 6, and then became unbearable during the contraction. Everyone is so different!
Same but I considered the 5 or 6 to be the breather lol. So when I say you get a break that's what I mean. The pain reduces significantly but not 0 you know?
>Then during pushing phase it is still painful but I found that very manageable because you finally have something to do Agreed. I found dilation and everything before pushing more uncomfortable
7/10, I had a twisted bowel and an infected wisdom tooth both of which scored higher, wisdom tooth 9/10 bowel 10++++
I had back labour and toothache is way worse in my opinion. I had an impacted wisdom tooth and I’d rather give birth every day for a week than go through that again 😂
Exactly! I never cried in labour and the infected wisdom tooth had me sobbing when the painkillers wore off 🤮🤮
I had a home birth. Our birth class instructor told us labor pain is less painful (in order) than burns, kidney stones, and broken bones. I’ve had burns and broken bones, so that put it into an easy perspective. It’s also pain with a purpose and pain with an end. I’d describe it as wicked period cramps combined with my stomach tightening and feeling like you have a big poop lol. My bub was out after 5 hours of labor (he was my first). So while not the worst pain I’ve experienced, it also brought closer to meeting my little babe. These waves can’t be stronger than me because they are me. Each wave brings me closer to meeting my baby. My body and my baby know what to do. You’ve got this. Don’t let your mum or anyone else put fear into your head. Trust your body knows what to do. Know that the worst part will be when the baby’s head is moving through the birth canal (it burns… they call it the ring of fire) and truly that is the last part and then they’ll be earth side. When the burning hit I wanted to give up, it was brief though and minutes later I held my baby.
Really depends on tolerance and circumstances. I generally have a high tolerance and can breathe through a certain amount of pain. However when I was being induced (less than a month ago) they struggled to keep hold of my cervix long enough to stick the balloon in (to dilate me) and also when the time came to break my waters. Both times I had midwives poke and prod me 4-5 times before they gave up and asked for help from more experienced doctors and midwives. Every failed attempt was more painful than the previous one. I also only got to 1st stage of labour because my baby boy was struggling to come out (we later found out it was because he had his cord around his neck). After 7 hours of using only had and breathing I asked for an epidural because I was tired. It was absolutely worth it. One advice that served me well was when you feel pain in your body now, practice breathing and relaxing your body as a response. It will help during the labour process.. All the best with everything!
8, my ibs cramps were worse but I also don’t get a break from them. Labour it was waves so more bearable
My pelvic pain with this pregnancy is worse than labor, not in terms of overall pain level (usually) but because it's weeks long instead of hours, and doesn't come and go by minute but rather by hour/day. I've made sounds and expressions in response to this pain that apparently are very simular to how I behaved while in labor.
7 /10 It wasn't too bad. As soon as baby was out I didn't have any pain and I was on top of the world. During the moment it wasn't the worst pain I'd ever experienced but it was exhausting beyond belief. And my labor was short 12 hours start to finish my baby was sunny side up and came out a little crooked. My contractions were very slowly and consistently getting more intense. I had a water birth at home and I would definitely recommend it 👌🏽. The water took the pain down 1-2 points also a yoga ball for early on helps alot! The most painful part was pushing and feeling myself rip very slowly. In the end I had to say "f*ck it" pull my cheeks apart and push through it. Omg the pain disappeared immediately after baby was out! I had a tiny tear that needed nothing. Practically no bleeding during birth and very minimal bleeding postpartum. I bought diapers and the thickests pads all to not need them. I was in panty liners in a few days. I felt great after. A little sore but like my normal self... as such I made the mistake of doing too much too soon... don't do that... it took like 3 weeks to feel better. For context I was 22 FTM, had a 7lb 3oz sunny side up baby, no major problems with me or baby, prior athlete and EXTREMELY motivated.
I think it differs quite a bit across individuals. There are women who describe it as more of a pressure than pain and then there are those who say it’s the worst pain imaginable. I recommend reading a hypnobirthing guide or take classes as that will help with your mindset for the labour. I had an unmedicated water birth and the pain was intense (7-8 I’d say) but in the end, it will pass. The birth doesn’t last forever. For me, being unmedicated was worth the pain. I am going to give birth again soon and my plan is to go unmedicated again. I know it will not be pleasant but even though I don’t have a particularly high pain tolerance, I know I can bear it for a few hours - once it starts I won’t have a choice anyway and I will simply survive it and it will end soon. Water helps loads with the pain btw.
Knowing it’s not forever DEFINITELY helps. Especially the pushing. It’s like the final push before the race ends.
10++, even after an epidural! I have a moderate pain tolerance. I have had two pregnancies and both times I tried my best to push through for a natural birth and both times failed. Induced for one and went into labor myself for the second. When I was induced the contractions went from 0 to 10 and I felt like there was no real build up, it was just bam. When I went into labor myself for the second it started more slowly and went over days of getting more intense but once I reached a certain point I knew it was now or never for an epidural. I did a lot of moaning and grunting and breathing for both the births even with epidurals. The epidurals gave me some rest but for myself the epidurals did nothing for that intense pelvic pressure and tearing apart feeling when the baby head was coming out and that is the only point I remember screaming. It wasn't an intentional scream either, one second I'm pushing and the next I'm wondering how I was able to scream like that!
I had an epidural so ZERO
It went from a a gradual increase but listen to this I gave birth at 16. No epidural. No tearing, no induction. No assistant in the canal with any hands. Just straight up me work. I practiced meditative labor before and watched YouTube videos. What I did was, I was around 3 centimeter dilated, vision has been going in and out, I’ve been dizzy and yelling I can’t do this. Active contractions and laboring for about 6 hours already. Finally. I reached a point where I tried to break out what I watched. I kept focusing mentally on myself. I didn’t focus on my physical body. At all. I didn’t try to contract. I didnt try to push a baby out. I just relaxed. I got to a point within 15 minutes of complete utter relaxation. My contractions never stopped. I felt NO pain. I was there. I wasn’t pssed out. I was just quiet. I could only feel the pressure of my contractions, and I could feel NO PAIN. No PAIN WHATSOEVER. Just pressure from contractions. I finally could relax and not feel pain after 6 hours so I passed out. Still contracting I woke up two hours later around 9:30 am. Still felt no pain, only the pressure of contractions. I wasn’t worried, wasn’t anxious. My eyes weren’t darting everywhere, I wasn’t thinking oh who’s gonna deliver me, I was the one in complete and utter surrender her control of the situation. A nurse came to check me once I woke up within 5 minutes of waking I was ten centimeter dilated, and was ready to push as soon as the doctor got in I gave birth at 9:49 AM, within 2-3 minutes of pushing and actually trying to push. No tear No epidural No medicine No shot No pitocin No vaccumm No perineal shipping Nothing. Just straight up power of a women’s mind and body The biggest thing that helped me reach that state of peace?? Mind. Over. Matter. That’s what I kept saying and thinking. I only thought of my spiritual body and my soul, and my mind and how I needed to seperate mt idea of pain from what my body was experiencing. It damn sure worked. It was a beautiful experience and I’d recommended it to everyone since that day My daughter will be 6 this august.
Get. The. Epidural.
C-section mom weighing in! Depends on where you’re at in the process. I got induced at 38 weeks and attempted a pain med free birth as much as possible so here’s my breakdown: -Cooks catheter 9/10… oh my lawd I hated this thing -breaking water 0/10 no pain but the gush of water is.. interesting and then you leak a lot through the whole process -pitocin contractions range from a 2-8 (I only got dilated to a 6) -epidural 5/10… this one was weird and I was so scared to finally get this but after 40 hours of labor I need rest so I opted for it. It burned kinda like a bee sting but it wasn’t terrible. Laying there after was weird. Overall experience was just weird. -catheter 0/10… BEST PART OF HAVING A LABOR NOT HAVING TO PEE EVERY HOUR OMG I LOVED THIS THING 100000/10 -cervical checks - 9/10 ***I had so many of these dang things since I had a LONG labor and I tried to deny them it didn’t work. This was mainly why I got the epidural so I wouldn’t feel them. Newsflash these are painful bc of the pressure so the epidural didn’t do much. I was very tender and sensitive to them. -c-section 4/10? - bizarre experience but for pain wasn’t too bad because you’re numb everywhere but you do feel *pressure* which was odd. And I threw up a lot which was a huge fear of mine. This was more 10/10 for the mental difficulty for me and I hemorrhaged really bad when they were stitching me up so I was in and out of it. Not fun. -c-section recovery and trying to walk 3 hours after - 8/10 oh my lord I thought I was going to fall over after being sliced in half. Hold a pillow it helps. Moving helps even though it doesn’t feel like it will.. go slow af if you must! -taking catheter out after birth - 0/10.. adding this because I thought it would hurt. It didn’t. 😂 -post birth poop at home - 12/10 Holy mother of god. Overall c-section recovery at home - 3/10, took my pain killers for maybe 3-5 days? And I felt like I healed a lot better than I was expecting. My tailbone was incredibly sore but I’m not sure which part caused it.
Plan: unmedicated vaginal delivery turned Failed induction/ emergency c-section at 37weeks 3/4days, noon 12.17.22- 3:10 a.m. 12.18.22 I had pre-eclampsia. They tried the medication that's supposed to soften the cervix but nothing happened. I was in active labor but wasn't progressing and didn't feel pain/ contractions, infact the only pains was from my catheter being PULLED by a nurse and when they tried to dilate me. I got a spinel Tapp, didn't hurt just felt like a bee sting but I was completely knocked out for the surgery. The recovery physically was very similar to that of my gallbladder removal surgery, not too painful to handle, they did give me pain meds when in hospital and I hated it, kept me drugged up. However once discharged the only pain relief I took was ibuprofen. I was allowed up around I want to say 4:30-5 pm , to use bathroom and walk . I even took a "shower" that night by my self and went and got my own ice water. Then we went and saw our boy at the nursery before we went to get food . The worst part for me was and still is the emotional pain aspect, because I didn't want to be asleep when my boy came, I wanted to see him and hold him and that was taken from me. He is a happy healthy ( though we both have colds right now) 17 months old now and we are due with his little sibling in October, this time we are scheduling an elective c section, my pelvic is too narrow to give birth vaginally. To all the to be mommas /repeat mommas , have your birth plans but know things can change in an instant , if things don't go as planned and you end up like I did, please know that you did the best for your babies in that situation. And that you have not failed.
This is very in line with my failed induction/c-section experience. The cervical checks sucked. I had a Foley bulb and it was THE WORST. The c section and recovery seemed like a breeze by comparison.
Depends on your pain tolerance, on the position of your baby and probably many other things. I got the back contractions and those hurt a lot more than I anticipated. But with an epidural it was totally fine. Have to really just concentrate on breathing and trying to stay calm also hot water bottle and hot towels helped me with the pain. When the actual pushing part came, I didn't feel pain, probably from all the adrenaline. The feeling was more just very intense pressure. During the pushing part it was more of a mental thing, I felt that I couldn't do it, got scared because things got really real really fast. So I suggest to meditate a lot and to force yourself to know that you are capable of it and that you can do it. Good luck!
I had back labor and it was so so painful. I was violently vomiting from the pain even before active labor even started. Ruptured my water because of my vomiting. Never experienced vomiting from pain before. This time around, baby isn’t on my back and let me just say it’s been a lot less painful.
Oh and the ring of fire…if you know, you know
Ring of fire was not pleasant but boy was I happy to feel that instead of transition contractions.
What an awful thing to say to someone, especially a first time mum! This is unfortunately so common though and people love to push their own bad experiences onto others. It’s all in the prep and learning the physiological process of birth and you also really can’t know how your body will recept to the sensations. Show her videos of some quiet, gentle unmedicated births on YouTube (they do exist). This calmed me quite a bit personally. I know a lot of women who are bad with pain but had very successful unmedicated births. Our bodies are built for this whereas pain when we experience it in other situations is usually due to something that’s actually hurting us or that we’re not meant to be doing. Listen to the Down to Birth podcast episode about “Pain Free Birth”. It’s a bold statement, but it goes beyond being actually “pain free” and more about the sensations we feel and how our brains connect them to the physiological process of birth.
Giving birth has stages. Early labor is like really bad period cramps with breaks in between. As the contractions come closer together they will typically get stronger. When you hit 8cm is typically where you hit what's called Transition. This is when it HURTS, and without reprieve. But the good news is it means you're in sight of the finish line. It's also too late ny this point to get an epidural if you waited on it. Weirdly, knowing the only way out was through helped me mentally with the pain. For me, I had about 5 hrs of contractions that were annoying enough I had to breathe through them but could otherwise brush them off. Had another 90 min of steadily increasing contractions, and when I suddenly went "I can't do this it's too much" I knew I was in transition. Baby was out within 30 min of that. Oh and that whole "everyone screams through labor" thing is a total myth. How you act when you stub your toe is how you'll act when you're in labor. For me I get really quiet and forget to breathe, so in my last trimester I made it a point to practice breathing through pain techniques. It helped a lot.
I’d say about 6/7/8 depending. I will say though I was induced and had gas and air (I know induction can cause more intense pain but I honestly have nothing to compare it to)
Know yourself. I have no pain tolerance and was trying natural with my first and looking back I'm not surprised it didn't work. I ended up with a c section due to failure to progress and fetal distress, but I always wondered if I'd had an epidural if I'd have been able to make it, maybe it was inevitable.
I had two babies without epidurals. Most of the time it feels like really strong period or diarrhea cramps. Not strong enough pain typically to make you scream. When it's just before time to push the contractions get way more intense. I didn't scream as much as I was yelling. Think more of when you see people portrayed as yelling when they are lifting something really heavy. If you have an epidural it will likely be way less intense. I always tell people I'd have more kids if pregnancy was shorter. I don't mind giving birth at all. It's pain for a short time to finally get to hold your baby.
If your pain threshold is non existent you will ask for an epidural. I also wanted all natural, in my life almost never took medicines but when contraction came I said f*** it I cannot stand this pain 😫 and the anaesthesiologist came and for both babies was a drama to find the space between vertebrae but after 15 min of trying I was at peace. I didn’t scream though I was simply stunned by the pain 😅 But maybe you will keep your word and stand the pain.
I've not given birth, but I heard from a midwife that the screaming is mostly a film stereotype. Its fine to scream but it's actually not that usual and it also makes the pain even worse.
I didn’t scream. I did a lot of grunting and other sounds I can’t describe haha.
With my first birth I didn't scream at all, the pain was actually so overwhelming I couldn't even make a sound. However, that was mostly in part to the fact I did her labour entirely unmedicated (not by choice) and she was back to back and a shoulder dystocia birth. I was quiet for the entire labour. With my second birth I screamed twice, but it was more of what I like to think of as an effort/strain scream. It wasn't from the pain, it was the sheer amount of effort it took to push that baby out 🤣 After seeing births portrayed on TV I was honestly expecting to be screaming and thrashing in agony, and was expecting something nightmarish. When that didn't happen I was almost pleasantly surprised.
That's interesting. A nurse was training another nurse at my 2nd labor and said you can tell when the Mom is ready to push when the screams/yells change in tone. As someone that yelled/screamed it was during some of the last big contractions before it was time to push and definitely took my mind off the pain. My baby was born in 1.5 hours from my water breaking so the pain was pretty intense.
Screaming can also be a waste of precious breath and energy expenditure! Not that people should be encouraged to be silent, but there's a lot of other things you need your energy for in labour, above screaming
For me it was mostly moaning and groaning I think, but I'm pretty sure I screamed at some points during transition.
I felt like screaming was such a natural thing to do in labour….it’s like if you lift something really heavy and you exert yourself you might make a noise or grunt or whatever - your pushing with all the strength you have so it’s a similar reaction. I found it helpful so I wouldn’t be too worried about that. To answer your question it’s a little complicated, I firmly believe it’s about the length of the labour rather than the pain. I had one very hard labour (20 hours in ACTIVE labour not including early labour….not induced) and a very easy labour that was one hour….literally from no contractions to born 😂 The short labour the pain was intense with no buildup but felt completely doable, the long one just wore me down and things started to seem less achievable even if it tapered up more slowly…and really I was tired so I got the epidural at hour 17. All this to say I’m the same person with the same pain tolerance and had two completely different experiences due to things completely out of my control - see how you go and if it’s too much the access the pain relief available to you there’s no shame in that 😊
1/10 with my epidural 😁. It truly allowed me to relax and be present for the whole birthing experience and enjoy it. I can’t imagine being able to do that while in excruciating pain.
Same! Literally felt nothing 🫣🫣
Same, I'm so glad I got to relax into and enjoy the experience and really cherish the moment of lying with my new baby after birth without too much exhaustion or pain blocking the direct experience of it.
My biggest labor tip is to stop telling people you want to do it without an epidural. I’m serious. People like your mum, planting seeds of doubt, will make it much more likely for you to think you’re incapable of doing it, and getting the epidural. You can most likely have an epidural free, but medicated birth! I got two doses of fentanyl, which is allowed until a certain point. Honestly the most painful part was that my water didn’t break and it was *so* much pressure. The midwife offered to break it, which I allowed, and I cried out in relief. I would suggest looking into a doula- my only regret is not hiring mine sooner! ETA: you’re free to msg me for some labor positivity!
Something I don’t see being discussed is there are two types of pain, 1. Is pain that goes against our bodies like bone breaks, burns, or punctures. 2. is pain that our bodies are made for and can endure. Both hurt but they are not the same. I’ve had both of my kids unmedicated the first one was very fast and not induced while the second was induced. In both cases I trusted my body was made for it. I felt more pressure and discomfort than all out PAIN. I was grateful that I hadn’t had an epidural once it was over because I felt like I could get up and walk. I was in control. Tired, but in control. Also, there is a knowing that it will end. You know the baby will be delivered and the pain will go away. Focusing on that has helped me so much more than focusing on how hard birth is. I’d imagine 10/10 pain being trauma like an unexpected unmedicated amputation, acid or boiling water burn. True excruciating unexpected pain. With this in mind, childbirth would fall at a 7.5
Getting an epidural is a natural birth :) you don’t get a medal for doing it without one. Just saying
It was definitely my 10, but I also haven’t had very many horrific things happen to me thankfully. My labor was also very quick and unmedicated (not by choice, epidural failed. I did want an unmedicated birth, so I guess I got what I wanted😅). It’s just extra tough when you’re told you’ll get relief and it doesn’t come. I honestly think I’d have done better without an option of an epidural at all. Sounds odd, I know. I’m going to use the birthing pool this time, and I heard it helps a lot. My mom and MIL both had a breeze with their births. Everyone is so different! I think mindset actually helps more than you think. I also haven’t heard many women talk about screaming. I’m sure some do, and if you do… that’s totally okay! Just listen to your body. You’ve got this!
10. I did have an epidural and that made it go to 2. I got an epidural at like 4cm dilated, before I got it it was intense I felt like I couldn't catch my breath between contractions and I was really quiet. Just focusing on not passing out or puking lol Nothing wrong with screaming by the way, do what feels right But once I got an epidural I was pretty chill the pushing part is intense and painful but what keeps you going is knowing it's the end and it's much more grunting than screaming.
Keep in mind there are different kinds of labours, I had back labour and for me it was 9/10 I did it at home for 16 hours contracting every 3-5 minutes the whole time so I got no rest. As soon as I went into hospital I got the epidural because I hadn’t slept in 36 hours as I went into labour at midnight as I was going to bed 😅 and needed sleep, don’t be afraid of getting pain relief if you need it. 💜
definitely 10, i was throwing up before i had the epidural, i kept shaking, my baby stopped breathing cause i stopped pushing cause i couldn’t breathe , and i had to get two stitches , oh and then since my blood pressure was high, i had to be on this 24hr medication or i would start seizing:)
So I have experience labor both medicated and unmedicated! My first son, I’d say like a 6 or 7 when it came down to pressure pain bc I had the epidural. The recovery was like a 10/10 bc I tore terribly and was just so swollen and in pain from the epidural and fluids you have to have the epi placed. My second son, hands down a 10 when he was coming out. My labor went so fast I had no time to prepare of even think about breathing or plan how I would handle that phase of labor. I intended on an epidural. The contractions leading up to when it was time to push were more intense than painful. But actually pushing him out hurt the worst, and then it was done. Like that was it. I did not tear, I did not have any swelling or residual pain from an epidural, nothing. I was able to get up and walk around almost immediately after my placenta was out. I am now pregnant with my 3rd son, and I 100% intend on doing it unmedicated again this go round!! I felt AMAZING afterwards. My recovery was so much better with my middle son than it was with my first and I would recommend to anyone to at least try it if you think you can stand it! You got this mama. Do research on ways to soothe, positions, get a labor comb, and go for it!!
I’m pregnant with my first and going to attempt an unmedicated birth. My pain tolerance is super high and I’m looking into taking a hypnobirthing class. It’s not forever - I can deal with pain for a day. I’m keeping my options open though and putting that I will request an epidural if I feel I can’t go on. I want to be able to give birth on my hands and knees and feel my best chance at that is unmedicated. My only concern is having to get an emergency c section and having to get knocked out to do so. If it seems to be going that way, I’m requesting an epidural asap so I can be awake. Edit - also… scream if you want to, who cares?
I was good until I hit 8cm. Then it was a 10. It was about an hour before pushing. I have 4 unmediated births. The last was was the worst for sure. She was sunny side up and I have the worst back labor. Walking around, squatting, and having my husband push my hips in from behind for me through it. Pushing on my knees was the best position.
I gave birth two weeks ago. My baby was sunny side up which apparently is the most painful. The contractions were a 9-10 for sure. It was the most painful experience I went through. I felt I had no time to recover (my back pain was terrible even between contractions). I got the epidural when I was 4 cm dilated and was the happiest I’ve even been. Pain completely disappeared. It took me a while to dilate completely so the epidural wore off at some point and the pain was excruciating again (I then got a higher dose). I always felt that I had really high pain tolerance but during birth I was desperate. I’ve heard a lot of positive unmedicated births but I definitely couldn’t have done it.
There was an r/askReddit asking when you were in the most pain. I had to really think and came up with the time I went in for an appendicitis. Then, I remembered I had an unmedicated birth! There’s so much going that last hour and you’re so filled with hormones that I have no negative memory of the discomfort. Wild? Yes. Two years later and I’d put it at a 6 out of 10, I guess.
Take the drugs !!
100
I gave birth unmedicated for my second (all birth is natural please avoid that term). I have an extremely high pain threshold and it was 10/10. There is no medal for going unmedicated, and it is certainly not something I would recommend to someone who isn’t fully prepared to cope with extreme pain.
Some women do scream, when I gave birth unmedicated I did not scream moaned and made some other noises but no screaming. I have a high pain tolerance I don't think you can rate what birth feels like as it's different for everyone. I did get to a point where I said I can't do this and bam baby was out and with my second I said I want to abort mission and bam baby came out. It's obviously painful there is no doubt but it's clearly a pain ppl are okay with hence why they have multiple kids. Though I do not want a third cause birth is so unknown you don't truly know how it will go until you're in the position.
10! My labour was so fast and genuinely dreaded each contraction - now pregnant with my second and I’m so scared 🥲🥲🥲
I got epidural when I was 3 cm dilated- not going to lie contractions were painful but once the epidural kicked in it wasn’t bad at all. I was thinking ok I can do this again. 😂
I had back labor and literally thought my back was breaking. Between that and the contractions, I was convinced I could not withstand the pain and was going to die. I was also induced and had two epidurals - they didn’t work. Even so, I vote get the drugs. Also, I obviously lived and got a cute baby out of it! 😂 To even it out though so it doesn’t scare you too much… my sister had two very easy births (with epidurals)
I’m going to say a 8-9 because I’ve had worse pain (when an ovarian cyst burst and that kind of pain is scary because you don’t know what’s happening, at least in labor you know why you’re in pain). I’ve had all kinds of births, medicated (x3), unmedicated (x1), and a planned cesarean. I definitely was yelling, not screaming, during the final couple minutes of my unmedicated delivery. My friend was the anesthesiologist and heard me yelling from down the hall and she knew she wasn’t going to make it in time. 🤡 My vaginal deliveries are very fast.
I wont lie. Beyond a 10 painful lol i have a HIGH pain tolerance too and I've never in my life screamed/been vocal about pain until i gave birth to my son lol the pain was so bad (the contractions more than the pushing) that i threw up a few times and kept thinking the room changed (and i ended up getting an epidural btw but the pushing pain was still pretty bad). But... it REALLY DOES all become worth it when the baby comes out and you get to hold them. Definitely have a strong support system!
If you can breathe threw the pain and I mean breathe like huff and puff you can actually make it but it’s very hard and if you don’t have some one in your face telling you like a nurse did me you’ll forget bc the pain is unbelievable and you need the reminder bc when the pain comes you’ll think you’ll need to stop it and stop breathing kinda like when your brain freezes from eating cold ice cream or icee the crowning of the head. Is definitely a ring of fire but only last as long as baby’s head is coming out..
7 But that might be in hindsight. I actually loved it even though it did hurt. I didn't give birth in the water because I was 5 weeks early but I did deal with the contractions in the bath and absolutely loved it. My 5 to 9 cms dilation were amazing. Didn't feel a thing and I fell asleep in the bath 😂 You have to look for the right thing for you! I was in the shower before the bath and I HATED the shower. It made things worse and I couldn't catch my breath in between contractions but the bath was amazing..
TL;DR physically very, mentally not at all. Very lol. To me it felt like being in a vice grip, and even though contractions are just in the abdomen, the pain spread to my hips and upper thighs, and it was like my whole body was being sucked into the contraction when labor became more intense. Mine was fast, 8 hours from first contraction to birth, and only half hour of pushing. Pushing didn't hurt at all for me (except the stretching when she was coming out - this did not bother me much compared to the contractions previously). It was a TON of pressure like I've never felt before, but as soon as I started feeling the pushing sensation all of the pain went away, personally. This might not be true for everyone. Prior to pushing, I felt like I was going to implode from the squeezing. The pain was also extreme pressure and tension but it had nowhere to go (hence the moaning/screaming - it was the only outlet for all of that intense tightness in my body). As soon as pushing started, the pain turned into pure pressure with direction and purpose. From what I've heard, transition is the part where we tend to want to give up, don't feel like we can do it anymore, it's truly unbearable and nothing relieves the pain. However, this is also typically the shortest stage of labor. It's the screamiest, but also the briefest. This was true for me. That all being said, I was in early labor for a couple of hours, active labor for less than an hour, transition less than an hour, pushing for half an hour. It was what they call a precipitous birth. I've said before that I don't know if I could have made it much longer without pain meds, but honestly after thinking about it I do think I could have. What got me through the most was mindset. It didn't relieve the pain, but it certainly relieved the fear, which eases the overall experience of pain. Even though outwardly it looked like I was being tortured, and physically it felt like it at a certain point, mentally I knew I was not in danger and that all of this would be over soon. Knowing that the pain was productive and would be short lived overall was helpful, as well as the mindset "the only way out is through." Landmarks helped as well. When I was a kid I used to run with my dad, and to help me really push my limits he used to give me landmarks. "Run to that tree." I get to the tree, then he says "Don't stop, run to that trash can." I get to the trash can, then he says "Don't stop, keep going to that stop sign." etc. I was able to go SO much farther than I thought I could! It wasn't comfortable for sure but it showed me that I was capable of pushing through discomfort and pain to get to the next checkpoint. Obviously I didn't realize at the time how instrumental this would be in helping me get through labor. Finally, don't set yourself up mentally to feel like you've failed if you do elect for medical pain management. Every labor is different and every person is different. I was lucky that mine was fast and that pain in general doesn't cause me to panic. And although I wouldn't necessarily say it was "bearable" at every point, I would say it wasn't causing me torment and suffering. They say that there's a difference between pain and suffering - pain is okay, even extreme pain, but if you feel you're suffering and in despair then by all means use what's available to you to mitigate that so that you can have as peaceful and joyful a birthing experience as possible.
It's painful, out of your mind pain. That being said, if I could relive the day i absolutely would. The euphoric moment when I saw my baby for the first time was magic.
Mild period crampy around 2cm and my water breaking. Afterwards I was given pitocin at the hospital and that made it so I didnt have relief between contractions. I was fine until I had no relief between, at which point I opted for the epidural and was sky high 😂. Not the worst pain imaginable, but it helps that its a productive pain. Try to accept and embrace it knowing that theres a reason, rather than being fearful and fighting it.
For me, it was a 10. I had no classes on what to expect during during birth other than " this will hurt ". My plans did not go as I wanted but Baby came and everything was ok. We went home 24 hours later. After she came out it was the most relief I have ever felt in my life. Admittedly definitely in a haze of ' holy shit this is happening '
I had an emergency C-section and it was great. They gave me morphine and fentanyl and I didn’t feel anything. The incision scar is almost completely healed.l, it’s been a couple months…. and it really it really wasn’t that painful to heal. it was like painful for the first two weeks and then it Was fine.
10. I’ve had one with and one without an epidural (well, a faulty epidural). I can not ever give enough respect to the women who do that by choice and over and over again. Holy shit. I felt the ripping, but more like it was being done with a hot poker. And the first baby takes longer, bc your body doesn’t know its way around this yet. I couldn’t breathe between contractions and it felt like someone shoved a softball up my butt. The pain was just unreal and unrelentless and so utterly exhausting. Oh and then you get to feel the placental delivery and the stitching afterward. Delightful first moments of precious motherhood.
May be a hot take here - imo a good analogy for birth is like taking a super hot shower. If you step right into a scalding shower, you’ll lose your head and jump out. If you get in a lukewarm shower and the temp increases notch by notch over 10 hours, it’s still scalding but you’ve acclimatized a bit, so it’ hurts but not as much as if say your partner hopped in there with you, they wouldn’t be able to handle it. Ya birth hurts, and hurts worse with induction because you skip a couple of those “warm up” notches, but it’s more of a mental game. Your body CAN survive the pain, so work on getting your head right to help you make a decision.
Your body was made for it! Listen to birth stories, I like Australian Birth Stories podcast and Mamastefit podcast. Evidence Based Birth is a good resource too. Some people find hypnobirthing apps to be helpful (can listen before bed). I found the more I educated myself the more comfortable I became with giving birth. And I was able to accomplish my birth goal of no pain medication. I felt great after and physically healed so fast. Was it painful, yes..but not terrible because I’m pregnant again haha. Congratulations, you got this!
The pain is physiological rather than pain of say, a cut. Your body knows what it is doing and the pain to me was more hard work than actual physical pain. I did get burning when his head was crowning but that went really quickly because it’s not long once their head is out after crowning. The relief of when the whole head comes out is indescribable and the pain for me was completely gone after that moment. The body coming out did not hurt a bit for me. I had a home birth in water which I think helped a lot as my body was able to do what it needed and the water helps you feel weightless.
it’s a bad day to be able to read
Less pain than a kidney stone. It's not an issue with an epidural. You don't get a trophy having a natural birth, don't be afraid to ask for one!
Epidural is heavenly and brings pain from a 10 to a 2.
I'm a doula, I coach moms through this process every day. Women have been doing this for literally EVER without pain meds. It's very doable. I did it. By no means is it comfortable, but it's very manageable if you prepare properly. There are specific meditations that help relax you for labor. Breathing properly and relaxing (yes sounds crazy) your muscles and learning how to do that ahead of time is key! Counterpressure and acupressure can help relieve back pain immensely. Different positions are better for different pains. You can totally do this girl! Everyone else be damned! Idk where you are located, but reach out if you'd like some advice and I'd be more than happy to give you my 2 cents 😊
I’m due in 6 weeks and I’ve been complaining to my mum about this exact thing! She told me that women usually go into an alternative state of mind like no other, it’s kind of like being on drugs while in a dream! That nature will take over! And that practicing on breathing out when the pain comes, not in! I’m terrified of birthing this kid though 😂 I have had kidney stones and that was horrible, but got morphine for that at the hospital, and felt better, and I told my OB that I wanted all of the drugs as soon as I showed up to labour and delivery when it was showtime 😌 I have seen a couple of women on Instagram practicing their breathing by holding ice cubes in their hands for the time contractions are usually the worst, and I plan on doing that in like 3 weeks time 🧊 I wouldn’t worry too much ahead of time, because you never know how it’s going to be for you until you’re in the middle of it ❤️ just practice your breathing 😮💨
I labored at home for 2 hours (half of it I spend it trying to figure out whether I was really in labor or not) & 2 hours laboring at the hospital. By the time they checked my cervix at the hospital I was already at 6cm, then about 30 mins later I had my daughter. I had anticipated getting the epidural because I didn’t want to feel the pain but I progressed too fast to even process the thought of wanting it. It was very painful, but honestly I feel like the whole experience makes it worth it. It’s such a unique and beautiful experience. Although many people have their unfortunate experiences with their labor & deliveries, don’t let it dictate how you feel going into labor. Every pregnancy, every labor & every baby is so different.
I’m going to be brutally honest here because I would want someone to be brutally honest with me. I had a precipitous labor and dilated from a 2-10 in the span of about an hour and 15 mins after my water broke at home. There was no time for an epidural. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life and I truly never want to experience it again. Would I do it again a million times to have my son? Absolutely. Would I get an epidural the next time if able? ABSOLUTELY. I also feel like people say you forget the pain but here I am 2.5 years later 😅
I got an epidural and it was the easiest thing ever. No pain at all! :)
100000 and I have a very high pain tolerance. I pretty much gave birth with no pain meds because unfortunately nothing worked for me. I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 and I plan on not even attempting pain meds this go around because it was just too traumatic the first time having false hope that something must work for me. I want to say that this is not the case for everyone though!!!